/mlpol/ - My Little Politics

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Welcome. This thread is for you Anons who wishes to improve your writing or just chill among Anons that do.
This is suppose to be a chill af thread. It's fine if it becomes a slider thread. I'll only make a new one of these if there is intrest.

>What is the need for this thread when we already have Glimglam's review thread and Anonfilly?
Compared to Glimglam's thread this thread is about what we Anons will or want to create. The only reviewing that might happened here is incidental, as in providing critic to some other work through comparison with the work at hand, and when one Anon tells another what his opinions of their work is.
This thread is first and foremost about producing stories.
This cannot be done in the Anonfilly thread since it is about Anonfilly first and foremost.

>Why a thread like this? Cannot we just have threads pop up organically because an Anon chose to post a green?
Yes, you are right. And this thread is absolutely not against other threads that circle around a singular story made by an Anon.
What this thread really is, is a form of support group for anyone wanting to write but are struggling with something in their writing process, like myself.
I thought it would be a good idea to talk to other Anons who also have similar goals about our stories and are struggling in creating them. Maybe, you struggle on something I don't and maybe I struggle on something you don't and therefore we can provide advice to each other on how to overcome our problems? Maybe some mysterious wise Anonsage lurks and our discussion prompts him to tell us his method he gained from meditating on top of K2 for five years without chicken tendies.

As stated before this is relaxed thread. If you like the thread, you don't have to pressure yourself into posting something to bump it. If anyone would like a continuation of it, I'll post a new one if it hits the archive. It's also okay to get off topic sometimes as well. I understand that conversations can lead to tangents and that it can be a relief finding someone else to talk to about things with, especially if few shares the perspective. If things get out of hand, I, or someone else, will ask you to kindly take this discussion to another thread or more fitting board, even perhaps. As an actual sugguestion, not a hidden insult. You and another Anon might discover something really intresting to talk about so why not create a thread about it?
Memetexts are, of course, welcomed.
Also, you don't have to share your problems if you don't want to. If you feel like telling us about your story that's enough. Story ideas can be really intresting to listen to and it might help you in return. Again, only do that if you want to.

So that's about it for the thread's header. The rest that follows is about me.

Right now, I thought about making the most simplest story I could think off. It's a simple hero's journey story. I do this because of two reasons. First off, I wanna know that I can start a project and see it to the end. I have only succeeded in finishing short stories before, you see, so this time I wanna try something longer. I also wanna keep it simple so that I don't get overwhelmed during the process of writing it.
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No, mine is very different. I'll elucidate later.
Can you list any valid complaints he made?
Normies are used to seeing gay characters as something normal and they're programmed with such a knee-jerk reaction to "homophobia" that the accusation of it is an attack. Is it worth trying to do a "Don't be gay" message or should I just stick to "These big political ideas are shit and they made these cities shit"?
Faggotry might have opened the doors to worse perversions but the average normie only has a chance of seeing anything wrong with the newest perversions the left's trying to normalize. I should probably stick to depicting those new perversions as bad things and gloss over gay people or say "Good gay people are based and love white people for giving them rights they'd never get in the third world, bad gays are pedophiles and perverts and cowardly bullies who harass innocents and demand special treatment and irrationally loathe straight people while hiding behind their sexuality when criticized for anything".

Speaking of fantasy-races like the Faunus from RWBY, I've been thinking about shows with animal-people like Zootopia, Monster Musume, and A Centaur's Life, and how they handled their fantasy-races+topics like racism/worldbuilding/how different animals fit into society.

In A Centaur's Life you can get arrested for riding a Centaur. Even if the Centaur consents, it's legally a Hate Crime(TM). Centaurs have even saved unconscious people by putting them on their backs and carrying them to hospitals, only for the person they carried to get arrested despite the hero's protests.
Also TV shows for kids say bullshit about the necessity of electoral systems that keep majorities from having absolute power since some races breed more than others or something. That's weird. I haven't finished the show so I don't know it it goes further.

Zootopia doesn't try to pretend a Bunny can just instantly pass obstacle courses meant for bigger animals by believing in herself hard enough.
It doesn't try to pretend a bunny girl can effortlessly flip a rhino man more than four times her weight so hard he passes out, it admits she'd need to jump around and bounce off boxing ropes for the momentum before she could hurt him.
It doesn't try to pretend racism begins and ends at "The baddies are evil and oppress the helpless good guys but a little bit of protesting or revealing Our Truth to everyone or a lot of violence magically fixes everything overnight".
This show inspired men who'd normally never speak up to say shit online like "Seeing that scene where the big predator was just there on public transportation but the tiny prey animals were scared of him even though he did nothing wrong reminded me of all the times women reacted like that to seeing a man like me".
Zootopia says racism affects everyone in different ways but good people who rise above this can make a positive difference in the world.
I wouldn't give it a medal, but it's closer to reality than most "special victims good, white-coded villains bad" shows and it really pissed off the left because this story about fictional animal racism and prejudice wasn't used as an excuse to push their myths on the subject.

In Monster Musume, monster girls aren't allowed to harm humans. Not even in self-defense. So the cops have the murder-happy police unit made of monster girls led by a human woman - the group's called M.O.N. - to handle any "Orcs took hostages in a manga store full of OrcXHuman porn" problems. These problems are usually handled with bloodshed.
And human gangs sometimes molest monster girls who can't legally fight back without getting arrested. But it's a fantasy so single human men can punch out entire rape gangs when your spider-waifu isn't there to harmlessly web them up to keep them from raping.
The show admits people are different depending on their race and species, and while it tends to romanticize that for the sake of the fantasy that you could apply to the govt to get your own perfect homestay monster girl waifu with superpowers and weird animal parts, your house would need to be reshaped to suit her physical needs/mobility challenges. It's a fantasy so the government handles the costs of making your house huge enough for giant centaur ass and giving it a home gym for your dog-girl waifu and giving it an indoor swimming pool for your mermaid wife.
There's one guy who says he's making a documentary but he really wants to make a video of the Harpy waifu giving birth to eggs since freaks love that.
Having a dog IRL isn't easy, there are challenges. And some dogs can be too challenging even though dog-romanticizing media downplays this and downplays the challenges that come with having a woman with its "Any dog can be good if loved enough and no women are bad!" bullshit.
But this show admits it: You'd constantly face challenges where her animal nature makes her act weird, but they're idealized challenges that result in sexual scenarios or fanservice cliches most of the time instead of "Your dog-wife chased after a car and died in a traffic accident" or "Your shark waifu bit someone's head off for calling you a loser so she's getting arrested and you're getting fined for not preventing this like the adult human should" or "the random woman your thirsty slimegirl waifu groped into nutting in public is suing for sexual harassment" or "Your spider girl webbed up and killed and ate your landlord because she thought it would make a nice anniversary gift".
There's also the "It's not legal for humans and monster-girls to fuck, except after a while the author decides it's fine as long as they get married first" thing. I didn't like that. This show initially had an excuse for the human guy to not want to bone his hot monster girls, but this just means he could choose one, and nothing's stopping him from getting laid besides his inability to choose best girl from his harem. "The guy can't choose" is a more common harem-anime plot than "The guy legally can't plough any of them".
>Can you list any valid complaints he made?
I honestly couldn't care less about that show, so if I must concede so be it. If you think whatever he said is bad is actually good so be it, I won't stop you.

>I should probably stick to depicting those new perversions as bad things and gloss over gay people
It really depends on a variety of factors. Firstly, how skilled you are in wrapping the topic in analogy. If you never mention a sensitive topic to the point it misses more bluepilled (read:hopeless and angerable) readers, but build an analogy well enough that a significant number question their held views, you've succeeded. It's harder than it sounds, though.
Secondly, how strongly you want to handle a topic. This depends on your target audience but also on how direct your messaging is. Directness should be inversely proportional to depth of topic. You could probably handle criticizing sacred cows if allusion is vague, but if it's on-the-nose you'll attract vitriol. On the other hand/hoof, you can get away with a light veil if you're criticizing a more current/fierce controversy, like trannies competing in women's sports, though this is more purple-pilled.
Thirdly, scope of your redpill. Scope should likewise be inversely proportional to how direct you are. If you're writing redpills about every problem modern society faces and want the audience to know it, you might as well write a manifesto. You can get away with a broad redpill by writing a traditional/based society where modern social issues simply don't exist (think Middle Earth) and presenting it as a more attractive place than our own. However, if you're taking aim at a problem in particular then it's probably best to focus on just one and make sure it enhances the story, not just the other way around. Really competent writers can get away with several separate redpills without detracting from the story, but it's clearly not easy.
Fourthly, the nature of your story. If you have to take the story on a tangent to explain why some particular evil is a problem, then that's a sign you need to revisit something. It should all flow together.

Writing is an art, not a science, and I'm not some great writer, but I think these guidelines would help. Try to avoid over-reaching and going on an author's rant; people instinctively know when a message is forced and it's unpleasant even if you agree with it.

That's a good example. It's not a really "based and redpilled" movie but neither is it cringy. Positive messages can be taken from it such as a distrust in government manufacturing/using a panic to keep people divided. No doubt at the time the writers intended the carnivores to be interpreted more like black people (though even this raises the questions of deepset psychological differences between carnivores and herbivores, and how crime statistics may line up with this) but these days the treatment of whites is so similar to the movie's plot one could see it as prescient. No doubt that's a reason progs hate it, because its viewpoint is that of centrists and centrists are racism enablers in their eyes.

>Monster Musume
Not familiar with it, but I'm pretty sure it's a hentai. That's an interesting setup whereby monster girls are essentially second-class citizens in an intelligent fashion rather than a "I'm racist so I give arbitrary restrictions muahahaha" strawman. Monster girls are clearly sapient but lack self-control and fully rational behavior so they're somewhere between animals and humans.
I don't want to win an argument about the show, I want to know what you liked about the video so I'll have more RWBY-related stuff to think about.

Thanks for the advice, I'll keep that in mind.
I like how in A Centaur's Life humanity doesn't exist and the assorted races evolved to be humanish just because.
Plus there are schools where the coridoors have enough water for mermaids to get around and this world's idea of a mobility aid for a mermaid is a robotic horse prosthesis.

I was thinking about how The Maidens in RWBY are four secret superpowered people who, when dying, pass the superpowers on to a random girl somewhere around the world. Cinder's figured out how to steal those powers.
1. why are these 4 secret?
2. how are they kept secret when they're so obviously abnormal?
3. what makes magic "all that" when semblances can do anything magic can do? sure one wizard can cast 8 different spells but 8 people with semblances that replicate the effects of those spells can do anything he can?
4. how do hereditary semblances function if semblances are supposed to be extensions of your personality/influences on your personality/neither?
5. how is "we didn't want people going after these girls for their power" a good excuse for hiding the existence of the four big-deal super-people? how can so many people want their power and know how to get it?
6. why does Penny have a random scene with Jaune and die for fucking Winter just to pass her powers on to Winter when Ruby's the one who needs them more and would get better emotional scenes?


Wouldn't it make The Maidens terrible and greedy people if they chose to retire and get old and get looked after in care homes instead of dying on the battlefield like good little magic warriors for the sake of everyone's safety?
nothing makes individual Maidens special beyond what they inherit and the sooner they die, the sooner their powers can be inherited by the next generation. It would make sense for a thirty-something Maiden to try and stay alive to fight another day since dying means giving that power to a newborn baby who won't be able to use her godlike powers to crush Grimm until she's at least 10ish but this right here is just bullshit. An old Boomer cunt who hoards the world-saving magical power and refuses to do her job yet also refuses to pass it on or pass on...
The story had the perfect setup to create the embodiment of everything Cinder seems to hate right now (they'll rewrite and retcon her next season probably) but nothing deep ever happens between these two characters. Hell, it's almost a smart critique of Avatar's reincarnation system, since in a setting where age is real and 80-somethings/200-somethings can't outfight armies solo, an old tired useless avatar just takes up room and prolongs the rise of a newer better one able to use the power he or she's born with for the good of all.

But for real, I don't want my story to turn out shit like RWBY.
I hate how the "Gods and Ozpin/Oscar" stuff detract from the story.
Tite Kubo's Bleach has everything revolve around Aizen and Ichigo to the point where he's why everything happened, but it's so Ichigo can still fight the final boss. It's not what he signed up for but Ichigo still drives the plot. Ichigo's still the hero guy.
Avatar Aang is forced to fight the Fire Nation in the present because he ran from them in the past just as his predecessor Roku ran away from admitting Sozin's crazy and needs to go down. He can meaningfully overcome the flaws that hinder him and he beats the final boss using energybending (asspull spirit deus ex machina) to respect his no-kill airbending teachings (clever and deep). honestly if they foreshadowed energybending in Won She Tong's spirit library for about 5 seconds before moving on with the Solar Eclipse shit it would have been perfect.
Team RWBY isn't meaningfully involved in any of the lore.
First the gods can't revive ozpin even though Salem wants him back because "muh balance" but then like two minutes later the gods revive him anyway and say "humanity's shit and we need you to solve the problems we created and reunite humanity" and they curse him with reincarnation (just to be arbitrarily different from her immortality) but Salem was able to unite all of humanity (at the time) against the Gods.
You'd think Ozpin would become the head of a religious institution with members in all four nations to try and bring people together but no, Ozpin rules one of four nations instead and does little to bring them together.
It kind of reminds me of how the black guy in Panty and Stocking was sent back in time and forced to live through everything. Except these gods did everything wrong and with no moral lesson in mind. And humanity's supposed to earn their respect to get its magic back, when magic was such a great thing for fighting the Grimm? "There were two brothers and the good god was good and the bad god was bad" is already a shit religion but they find a way to make it worse. Even ripping off Adam And Eve so Salem is Eve the bitch who ate the apple of darkness to bring darkness into the world in the form of Grimm (but because Eve's evil and selfish she'd rather kill everyone and rule a Grimm-filled world alone than share it with humans) would have worked better. Ozpin's reincarnation is a bootleg Avatar without anything that made him unique and cleverly designed.
I kept thinking the writers were making the gods shit on purpose so Ruby could summon the Gods after gathering all 4 Relics/Maidens and say "FUCK YOU, GODS! KEEP YOUR MAGIC, TAKE OUR SEMBLANCES AWAY IF YOU WANT, BUT TAKE YOUR MISTAKES LIKE GRIMM AND SALEM AND OZPIN WITH YOU!"
You know, kind of like that scene with Ed and Truth from Fullmetal Alchemist and willingly giving up your magic to get your brother back. Except in this case Ruby the "simpler soul", the small sweet innocent little puppy dog, makes history as the first RWBY character to say fuck and spits in the face of the gods who failed.
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Hell, maybe it would be cool if I took my take on RWBY's maidens and made them a part of my story, so the hero can say "Fuck you, maidens" when it's all revealed to the hero that dumb rulers who thought they were doing the right thing decided to hoard the four Maidens away "To save them for when they're needed the most, because it would really fucking suck if a day came when we really needed all 4 maidens but their powers were currently stored within toddlers unable to fight" instead of letting them fight the Grimm and bandits on battlefields of their choice until they die and pass the powers on. The totalitarian governors could also have an ulterior motive: These four Maidens said yes to doing nothing and waiting for "the right time" but if they die and pass their powers on, more rebellious spirits might get these powers and prove harder to control, maybe even decide these governors need to be crushed and replaced.

And maybe instead of saying what I don't want my story to be like I should say what I want for this story.

I want this story to have-

Hang on a second, The Maidens only exist because Ozpin passed on his magical powers to those four, delegating his powers to them without passing on his will (uniting humanity to impress the gods and defeating Salem) and letting countless women get death sentences from birth as Maidens, inheritors of Ozpin's magic but not his true mission. God, everything about RWBY's worse than it's supposed to be. Don't get me started on the Faunus or we'll be here all year.

Anyway I want this story to have awesome fight scenes but I've already written a ton of those. I want this story to have hot characters so I've already made most of them.
I really love how balls-to-the-wall insane Guilty Gear can be. This kind of wild creativity... That's the kind of spirit I want for my setting. Everything's extreme. Everything's turned up to 11. Everything's metal as fuck. There's an evil god and it's well-written.

Btw, I was thinking... What if women were artificially promoted regardless of merit in this setting because society didn't want men in the workforce, and instead wanted stay-at-home husbands helping their harems pump out kids year-round to make up for the losses incurred by the perpetual motion machine grinding away at humanity known as The GrimmHeartlessHollows?
Men could still travel to try and grow their harems but governments would prefer men stay at home and apply for govt-assigned girlfriends so the govt can manipulate mankind's genes because they don't want strong people to be born in the lower class where they might decide the government sucks.
The idea that a government would institute anti-meritocratic hiring policies to affect birthrate and desire to control the reproduction of its people... It makes sense for this setting. It makes sense that a world ruled by women that want to control men would think of it, especially if only men could inherit the AvatarMaiden power. It makes sense to say "fuck hiring vaginas over merit" here. The idea that workplace policies and government policies can affect birth rates is there. And it's turned on its head here so normies won't have an emotional reaction and scream "reeee you want a world of housewives instead of le beautiful stronk independent men!" even though "stronk" women still lust after bigger stronger richer men and feel entitled to them even if they have nothing good to offer them. It would also make the hero dude "stunning and brave" for trying to make it in a woman's world as a soldier without the powers of a Maiden.

I should really think of a better word for Maiden than what RWBY went with.
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>I should really think of a better word for Maiden than what RWBY went with.
What is this mindset? There was literally nothing wrong with the word maiden. It was functional at least.
But is focusing on the names really that important right now? Are you still planning to have four of them? And are they stilled bound to the concept of one for each season? Why do they exist in your world?
Can you describe your mc's personality to me or his core traits?
Actually, I take that back. Looking for something better doesn't mean that it is necessarily bad.
>awesome fight scenes but I've already written a ton of those
Yes, I'm sure your audience would totally agree that the fight scenes you've written are/were 'awesome'
Also, you write too much about RWBY in your posts, unnecessarily much, imo. There are examples in your text where you bring up the series without those tangents being related to discussing how to craft your own story. It's not a big deal but please try to talk about your story and the crafting of it first and foremost and then if you see reason to it, bring up RWBY for comparision.
A few of excerpts of your posts can be said to only talk about RWBY and not your own story. That's not what this thread is about.
Otherwise, it's fine.
Sooo... Are you currently writing something frien?
This isn't a big deal really. I don't want people to be afraid of posting things that might be a bit unrelated at times. My position is that yoiu don't need to think about it but, it can go too far. If it does, I see no reason why a discussion thread, even if it just becomes a short slider thread; wouldn't be a good idea to take the conversation to.
Of course. It affects different protags differently, but its effectively a coming of age, rising to the challenge, giving closure to the old generation type story. It takes place in different worlds, sequentially and sometimes simultaneously, including FoE, and a more traditional D&D fantasy setting.
>giving closure to the old generation type story
That sounds intresting. Care to elborate? It makes me think of some kind of mentor character who failed their task but their disciple finishes it for them kinda deal.
>mentor character
That's, not exactly right, but it's a close parallel.
Basically, in the previous installment (yes, there is a precursor) certain things that were intended to happen got sidelined and obstructed. While the overall adversity was effectively subverted, this set in motion a greater threat that took time to materialize, and the 'old guard' is insufficient to address the new challenges. Specifically, the old guard were notorious and easy to compromise due to their fame and activities. Think MLP season 6 finale in theme (OGs are out, time for the newfags to save the day).
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I think I get it. Well, regardless you don't have to post it here if you're not comforatble with that but I also want to remind your that you're welcome to post an excerpt of your story here if you wish for anyone to read it.

I have been working on one scene and been thinking a lot on in which order I should present my information to the reader in my text. It is pony related and when I'm done, I'll post it here.
I also try to challenge myself more when I do stuff because think that when you view something as a challange, you're more motivated to finish the work than if it is just work.

I got an idea. There is this merit to RWBY which is about how their weapons have two modes, sometimes more (Wiess). I think that this is pretty creative. Is that something you will have for your characters weapons or will you go for something else when it comes to weaponry?
Oh, dont you worry, its gonna get posted
Good point I meant a word more fitting for the concept it becomes once I change things up to suit my setting.
We're told the four maidens have four seasons and four powers along with four words like choice and knowledge but what does that mean? If the genie of the lamp of knowledge answers any question does that mean the genie of the lamp of creation can make anything? Does the genie of choice get to let people make choices for others?
At first it seemed the Maidens just got weather power themed around their elements which would logically make them stronger than Glue Shoes McGee or Loud Nigra: Trumpet Edition. It fits within the world while still putting them above most semblances and potentially stacking this power on top of whatever your semblance is. But then they're pulling out multiple elements and having Pokemon Movie 1 ball battles and DBZ fights in the sky. Their powers blur together to make them less distinct from one another. In a world where everyone has Dust crystals with the powers of the elements and weapons that interact with these crystals and Semblances that can be any one superpower and interact with these crystals it just seems redundant to add yet more elemental stuff when this is supposed to be the last of Ozpin's magic split into four. Who would win if someone in an Ice Dust dress like Cinder's old fire dress, someone with an icebending semblance, someone with a gunsword loaded with ice dust, and the Winter Maiden fought? Whichever one the author arbitrarily decided has enough power level to make the others redundant and inferior.
I don't like the idea that the four bootleg avatars were given their powers by a fifth worse bootleg avatar, it all feels like some argument at the writer's room was won by Monty and after he died the writers retconned in the only takes on these ideas they wanted in their story. Suddenly the Maidens become glorified McGuffin keys for opening doors to four Plot Coupons that do stuff and everything connects back to the Ozpin and Salem stuff they said they thought of at the start. Surely if the heroes have to gather four things making them people the audience can care about is better than making them objects containing genies.
The name Maiden is kind of genius. They need to be saved from Salem and Team CMEN so they are the ancient fairy tale's typical maiden in need of rescue but at the same time they're superpowered badasses because RWBY wants everyone to be one of those. They were gifted with immense power but it's a curse that makes people want their power for themselves. Seems unrealistic that Ozpin's Illuminati could make the world forget them and would want to but whatever.
As for the RWBY references it's not that RWBY itself inspired my story directly. RWBY being made inspired me to try and make my own similarly derivative show from a set of concepts I liked or disliked and wanted to change up at the time. It's a different mix of ideas but when I think of "good ideas executed poorly resulting in snowballing cascading failures" I think of RWBY. Because the White Fang are pure evil Blake seems evil or dumb for ever getting involved with them and because she's forced into Yang's love interest it throws away the Sun and Blake buildup and messes with Yang's character (especially since she already met her mom and wasn't impressed. Life goal achieved) and because the authors say "the white fang's peaceful but fiery protests worked where boycots and peaceful protests didnt" at first fans of lefty violence get mad when the heroes eventually defeat the White Fang for being evil.
Yep, most weapons in my story get at least two modes because it suits a big theme I'm going for where there's more to everything than meets the eye. Especially characters that seem shallow and archetypical at first on purpose but then have depth revealed. When someone uses a weapon that's just one thing it's a sign that something unusual is going on.
I have two characters in my story that will meet for the first time. These two will be an important duo, for at least the first part of the story. What is your perspective? Should I have one scene for each to try ot establish who they are to build reader expectations, or should I have their introductory scenes in the story be the same as their first meeting, shortening the story but also putting the reader down from their bird's eye view perspective and into the shoes of the characters (unsure of who the other character is (or in the reader's case who both are) and their true intentions).

You don't have to share your perspective. It is highly likely that I have already decided upon something by the time you post your opinion but I appriciate your perspective nontheless.
Another idea about incorporating redpills is to simply portray ideologies that do not have any clear real-life counterpart. You can extol their virtues and criticize their failures without getting too dragged down into controversy. A good example is Warhammer 40k which has an unusually based fandom: no one denies that the Imperium is a pretty terrible place to live for the average person and its only redeeming quality is protecting humanity from being overrun. Yet it's undeniable that the Übermensch in the form of space marines, with their religious devotion and war against degeneracy, have had an overwhelmingly positive effect on culture. Leftists realize this and are scared by it, but any attempt at calling them or fans "Nazis" backfire precisely because it is a fantasy grim-dark world. You could go the other way by making a fake ideology that no one adheres to unironically yet is an extension of leftist values, then poking fun at it or portraying it as monstrous. Technically not a strawman because if you do this right the connection to real-life parties won't be obvious.

For an idea of wacky ideologies to use, combine some extreme values from this test: https://datguard.github.io/12wackies/
>Be Anon.
>Walk next to Purple Smart.
>In the everfree woodsen.
>Be searching for lost filly.
>Hoping she is okay.
>Well, Purple does at least.
>"She might have gone down here to aviod the bigger creatures of the forrest," Twilight said as you and her began to descend a narrow path.
>The path's slope was steep and it became narrow because of how the ground you previously had stood on rose up on either sides as mountain walls.
>The road slithered downwards without flattening out.
>The line above them that showed the blue dark dusk sky got thinner and thinner.
>That's when Twilight's horn lit up.
>She conjured up a pair of spheres of light that floated beside you.
>When the path lits up, you see murky and wet mountain walls.
>On the path you see... Something white right under your right shoe!
>You immediately take a step back and go down into a sort of defensive position.
>There, on the slope, in a pile, was a black spider with erect hairs.
>Two of it's legs are bent upwards along the one of the mountain walls.
>It's abdomen and body are of the same shape as a bowl or a deflated baloon.
>And, instead of eight black eyes, it has empty sockets.
>It's the molt of a giant tarantula.
>It's as long in it's body as you're tall.
>You look wide-eyed at it as you have frozen on the spot.
>Twilight glances sadly as you before turning her head forward.
>"I'm sorry, Anon. I should have told you but I really need your help down here but I know a lot of ponies have a problem with spiders. I guess, if you wanna turn back, I can't blame you," she says.
>She waits for your response for a bit.
I'll be back, probably.
Actually, I got bored. Let's start something new.

>Be Fair Star.
"Are your ziggas ready for action?"you ask and glanced behind you.
>A zebra with dreadlocks narrows her eyes at you.
>Or, you think that's what she does.
>Since her brown eyes are a bit obscured, it is hard to tell.
>Her mane cut is such that she has no dreadlocks along the backside of her neck and the either black or white dreadlock-bangs of her mane are combed forward into a fringe that covers her forehead like a curtain.
>"Blood Oasis, why don't you start judging each zebra on an individual basis?"
>You thrust your head upwards and let your eyebrows wiggle up and down.
>You let out a small chuckle.
"Ha! Even you refer to me as, 'Blood Oasis' and I'm suppose to pretend that I trust ziggas now?"you say and put your head to side in a mocking manner. You make a sweping gesture out off the edge of the roof to the ponies and zebras on the street below."I'm I suppose to believe that no of these ziggas wish to see me dead? I'm just waiting for an assassination attempt at this point."
>You look back at the zebra mare.
>A gust of wind causes the zebra's frigne to flutter to the side and reveal, clearly a pair of glaring eyes directed at you.
>Your grin grow at the sight.
>"They are not the only ones. Everytime I see you I hear war drums."
>Still be Fair Star.
>Burnt into the skin of the zebra around her right eye, was the shape of a horseshoe.
>You tap lightly with your right back hoof with the front of the golden horseshoe on it into the stone floor of the roof.
>The zebra's eyes goes wide as she hears your horseshoe clink and your grin grow more defined.
"So what now, Káhh? What will you do?" you asks in a sugar-sweet voice.
>She glares at you for a while more then she sighs and shakes her head.
>"Right now, we got another enemy to slay," she says while looking off into the distance but then she gives you a firm look. "But you will pay, one day."
"Mmm." Red magical energies start to dance around your horn.
>The scarf made from sewn together zebra is covered in a red cloud like matter of magic.
>The red cloud undoes the tied scarf and rise it up into air between the two equines.
>The zebra looks suprized.
"Take this as a token of or new friendship," you say and levitate the scarf over to the zebra that takes it in her hoof.
>She stare at one particular zebra cutie mark with a pained look.
>With her other hoof, she caresses the mark on the scarf.
>Even you can feel the pain and you look away but not without clenching your teeth while despratelöy trying to be angry.
>After a moment, you speak up, "It was..." You can feel that you have drawn her eyes. "It was never personal. I only carry around her mark because she was the Elphant-tier Witchdoctor of the northern tribe. Nothing more."
Can I ask for a writing prompt, please? Want to write something but have zero ideas right now.
A bored unicorn filly discovers a small German submarene from WW2, still fully armed.
On it.
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>Be Cosmic Well.
>Your sitting in a rowboat with two other fillies.
>Both of them earth-ponies.
>One holds a fishing rod out over the edge of your boat and the rod's thread travels down into the watery depths below.
>The other filly, a brown one with a black, disheveled mane, is currently biting on the hook to her fishing rod.
>She is trying to pierce one of the wriggling maggots in the small plastic box that lies on a board in the boat.
>You are currently reading a book, that you hold in your dark blue magic while sitting on the board in the boat closest to the boat's bow.
>You lower the book a bit and glance over it at the filly who is clearly forcing herself to get closer to those wriggling worms than she wants to.
>You higher one eyebrow and lower another, and then you shake your head.
>One of the worms is covered in a dark blue glow and starts to lift from the box.
>The brown filly's eyes go wide as saucers and as you levitate the worm closer to hook it, she jerks back.
>In doing so she rocks the boat making the other filly, who is yellow in her fur with an aqua blue mane, almost drop her rod overboard.
>The yellow filly spins around and gives the brown filly an annoyed look.
>"What are you doing?" she hisses in a quiet voice.
>The brown filly who seem to have finally realized what happened, points a hoof at you.
Will continue just showing I have started.
Have worked on it a bit today but will updated it in one final post.
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Does anyponer have any advice on what to do if ambition is greater than talent, or perhaps how to deal with a perfectionistic tendency of sorts? I have all these ideas swimming around all the time, but as soon as they crystallize they shatter as the winding rivers of the Way push me onto different wavelengths. It feels as though if I don't walk a very fine line then it comes out as a jumbled, uneditable mess. Can't tell sometimes if it's because I'm hopelessly INTP and will be stuck in the world of theory forever. The answer seems to be staring me in the face but I can't just put myself out there for the sake of it. How does one garner faith in themself as a writer? How much planning does a couple thousand words' of a short story take? Can one write without limits? Can there be raging waters on the surface, and meditative themes underneath? What's it worth? Just how does one achieve the middle path?
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Literally just keep writing. Don't correct your mistakes until you're finished, at which point you rewrite.
It works a bit better if you designate a point in the future where you correct every mistake at once, and just forge ahead until that point even if what you write is garbage.
Please pardon my autism.

Looks like I'm going to need to focus closer to what's in front of me, then. Problem being that I don't really know where I'm headed most of the time, that tends to be why I write about things in the first place.
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Would you say it's like coding in that you have to have a clear idea of what you're doing beforehand so it doesn't end up like spaghetti? Really looking for something I can just follow my intuition on.
...which is why I probably haven't been writing all too much lately, because it seems to come when I'm not near a keyboard. I would say "damn you, inspiration," but that sounds like a foolish thing to do. So I won't do that.
Yo dude I've been there and the trick is to keep all chunks of coding as seperate as possible. Everything should function independently before it starts interacting with other shit.
It would be good to get a programming general like /dpt/ going on /cyb/ or /ub/.
>"Cosmic made one of-" the brown filly begins but is interupted by the yellow filly.
>"Shhh! Don't scare the fish." She glares at the brown filly who lowers her gaze.
>But she pulls it back up quickly and looks at you with a disappointed look.
>"Why scare me?" She pouts.
>You sigh.
>You shake your head.
>You close and put down your book.
"I," you say and emphasizes it by holding a hoof in the air. The yellow filly rolls her eyes when she hears your tone. "Only tried to help you hook that worm."
>"Would it kill you to give a, 'heads-up'?" The yellow gives you a deadpanned expression.
>You shut your eyes for a moment and then open them again.
"I didn't think..." you say slowly and just as your about to continue the yellow filly breaks in.
>"Yeah, we know."
>The brown filly start to giggle at the comment which the yellow filly smirks at.
>However, the filly soon stops herself.
>She sents you an apologetic look.
>You just roll your eyes and continue.
"...Wheel Barrel would be scared. Her face was already next to the worms," you say.
>The yellow filly nods while Wheel Barrel draws circles on the board she sits on with her hoof.
>"You should still have said something," Then the yellow filly turns to Wheel. "And why haven't you hooked one yet? It's not hard."
>Wheel's brown eyes glance up at the yellow filly's teal ones.
>And then she looks away.
"Because she doesn't wanna do it the earth-pony way,~" you say in a singsong manner.
>The yellow filly again directs an annoyed look your way.
>"Why don't you magic" --She forces her eyes wide open and start to wave her hooves in front of her in spooky manner.-- "yourself to back to Canterlot then, you bonehead."
>You can't help but chuckle and shake your head.
"Bu- But," you start as you grin and continue to shake your head.
>But the yellow filly is no longer focusing on you.
>Intead she turns towards Wheel.
>With the front tips of her front hooves, she squeeze the hook tight between them.
>"There's nothing wrong with the earth-pony way," she says and then gives you a look. "It's only wimpy unicorns that can't handle it that's the problem."
>Then dives down with her head towards the box of worms, sucks up one halfway into her mouth, as if it was a straw of spagetti, and then rises back up again.
>Wheel brings her hooves up to her mouth.
"Ugh," Wheel utters as her body jerks.
>You lean back and give the yellow filly a oh-sweet-celestia-look.
>The yellow filly gives you both an annoyed looked before shoving the metal hook through the worm with some finesse.
>With the bait finished, she tosses the line overboard on the other side of the boat that her rod is in.
Will get to the submarine soon.
Writing question

a big part of a fic I'm writing is that the protag starts out a cunt but spending time with the mane six makes him a better person over time
but this is a side thing, he's not an ex-criminal specifically put with them to be rehabilitated. Just an asshole who initially wants to fuck them but gets to know them during the story and grows as a person.

how do I balance the character's assholery so it feels earned when he grows out of it, yet doesn't turn away readers or make them question why the mane six would ever put up with him?
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I think there are many different ways of how a character can be an asshole. In general, I think that one has to write from what oneself thinks rather than anyone else. As in, if you write an asshole character who will later change, you are the one who should feel that the way this happened was earn, not anyone else. You cannot write to appeal to all readers but you can make it so that, you yourself thinks that it was justified. So if someone complains that mc was redeemed too early then you can just argue for why it justified and if people disagree but you can clearly see they are wrong, then fuck 'em.

There's a good thread that is basically about the same subject, here: >>>/go/4045 → ;^P

I can related. I haven't solved my own problems with this so I don't know how much I can help. I think, you should just not give up because that's what I try to do.

>pic justsomeponerpic
>I can related.
Well, it's nice to know I'm not the only one.

>I haven't solved my own problems with this so I don't know how much I can help.
Good to see your stories around. Assuming the Sven in this thread and others is the same one I'm replying to now.

>I think, you should just not give up because that's what I try to do.
Doubt I could if I tried. But I'd rather not test that theory.
I think there was another Sven who posted two stories both in the Anonfilly thread and at different times. Otherwise, I have been the only Sven during these four years that have posted stories on this site.
>Doubt I could if I tried. But I'd rather not test that theory.
Makes sense. My goal is to make my character incredibly deep. But now that his backstory isn't a trashy edgefest any more, does it make sense for him to be closed off from others? Would it make sense for him to need to learn how to smile genuinely and open up?
>But now that his backstory isn't a trashy edgefest any more,
Why and what did you change? Having a grim backstory for a character is not wrong in of itself? You shouldn't feel that you need to change something, unless you think it is too edgy.
>does it make sense for him to be closed off from others?
Maybe not. But at the same time, yes. Characters can be whatever we want them to be.
Backstories are usually not that intresting because they have already happened so there are no stakes because we as the audience know the outcome and other problems. They might be able to be good but generally, they are stories that explain something we already know.
Does it really justify your characters actions in the present just because he had some trauma in the past? Not really. At best, it excuses it but I think having a story with a character who just is a certain way can be just as intresting.

Anyway, you can do whatever you want in the end. What I mean is that these sort of questions are way to general for me. A more extended advice for these questions would be hard to communicated without bringing in speculations of a potential ideas and writing examples. In short, I could end up writing stuff for you.

I'm not saying that's what you're after but I am saying you need to provide an concrete example for me to work with and help you with otherwise I will just be sputtering out ideas for story lines that come to mind from these questions.

Like, what kind of things does he do as an asshole? If knew that and how you intend to make him sympathetic, I could easier provide you with help. To the extent that I'm comfortable with. Nothing personal, kid, okayokay,I'llstopfornowbutjusstcouldn'tresistwhenitjustpresentsitselflikethat but this is afterall something I don't have to do either if I don't want to. I owe nobody anything in terms of my own creativity and neither does anyone else here. And I think it is important to for any Anon here to remember to not be, under any circumstances, be guilted into something they are not comfortable with.

I tried to think of a character in media that fits your bill but right now I couldn't think of one. But using already existing fictional characters, which are similar to the characters you are currently writing as minor molds, can probably be useful for a multitude of reasons, I think.
So, maybe if you use Dante, or whoever is in that that pic in your post, for a mold for your character if they are similar or perhaps someone more fitting. The point is that you consider the three points you struggle with: To which extent are they assholes? And, how are they redeemed? Why does it feel earned?
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Yeah that's Dante from DMC5, he got old in that game since they wanted it to look HD. everything's mostly greyed-out except the visual effects like fire/lightning.

My OC concept is that he's an Apple Family unicorn who says "I want to be more than a farmer" and travels the world to study magic and fight baddies along the way. He suffered a lot during his travels and saw a lot of evil, making him closed-off and unable to let himself be vulnerable and open up to others. He uses jokes to hide the pain and keep others at arms length. Then he finds out he's dying, because he's gotten too magically powerful for his body to handle.
He goes to Ponyville because he wants to get Twilight to help him research a cure. But also doesn't want to just spring it on her out of the blue, he wants to make her care about him first so she'll try harder to cure him. But he grows as a person from exposure to the mane six. He and Twilight, they date and end up falling in love. In the end he gets to live, but then sacrifices himself to save the mane six. But he gets better because he's immortal now, having earned it so he can be with the immortal Twilight.

What I'm struggling with is that I'm not sure how much of an asshole he should be. In ponyville there aren't many reasons to be an asshole unless your life really sucks balls. I guess Twilight could get pissed at him for hiding his terminal case of dying for so long, since it increases the risk that he'd die before she cured him. But there are chapters where shit unrelated to the OC happens, like an episode where time stops or penguins attack or whatever and the heroes have to deal with that. I just don't know how to convincingly write a smug cunt who thinks he knows everything.
So character archetype.
One important sentence about the core of who he is.

> I just don't know how to convincingly write a smug cunt who thinks he knows everything.
A 'smart' smug cunt or a stupid smug cunt or a smug cunt who is right?

>In ponyville there aren't many reasons to be an asshole unless your life really sucks balls.
Some pones are dicks just because. Various episodes ect. My point is irrelevant for this.
Have you had a bad day where you want to say something to that one person for whatever the reason because it's been pissing you off. The cycle starts there but being a massive dick can happen and propagates. ponerogenesis.
>making him closed-off and unable to let himself be vulnerable and open up to others. He uses jokes to hide the pain and keep others at arms length.
But why does he do any of that? Yes the answer is pride, but why? The real deep down reason.
>I'm not sure how much of an asshole he should be.
>he wants to make her care about him first so she'll try harder to cure him.
>He goes to Ponyville because he wants to get Twilight to help him research a cure
>smug cunt
>Twilight could get pissed at him for hiding his terminal case
Twilight should be pissed that he's a manipulative asshole who also made the town worse off and is pissing on all the background poners for his own amusement to numb the pain.

>he finds out he's dying, because he's gotten too magically powerful for his body to handle.
Okay but does he want to live, be a smug cunt, or go out in a blaze of glory.
Not that it matters but this is obviously Silver Star. I never thought your intentions were to have the story be a redemption arch to being with. I don't know if that's what you intended from the begining but to me it always felt as something that you felt forced to pretend to protect yourself from certain accusations. I remember that there were Anons who said that because you didn't understand why this character was an asshole, it meant that you yourself was one.
>He goes to Ponyville because he wants to get Twilight to help him research a cure.
This is inspired from those threads, I have a great memory. Not a problem but just wanted to explain how I know that things have change.

This is why you struggle to find flaws in Silver Star or rather how to make him an asshole because he is an idealist version of you. It's fine with self-insert characters, I have written some.

But if this was a redemption arch to begin with, it shouldn't be hard to figure out what the flaw with Silver Star is that creates conflict with him and Twilight, but it was never intended to be that. That is what I believe anyway.

Regardless, of what I believe though, I want you to write after what you desire to write. You don't have to write a redemption story. You can just write an adventure story. Twilight and Silver don't have to fight. They can get along. Give them stuff that makes them bond and you're done.

You are not an asshole because something you wrote has bad implications. It's fiction. It's fine. While it is true that we can't always compartmentalize things, it's also true that writing that you killed someone is a completely different thing from actually killing someone, for example.

My advice, would be to just write the same story as you once did but look into what specifically made people react to it negatively. After having looked at your feedback, you think to yourself, "Do I agree or do I disagree?"

You don't have to please anyone here. Hell, give me the finger but if someone like Glimglam asks you what you were thinking with a scene in the future, you go, "This and this and this."

The point is that you should seek out why you think your own scenes work and if you're satisfied you can much easier defend them.
I intentionally gave the character personality flaws but there were moments where I accidentally made him a cunt outside of designated cunt moments. Moments that were supposed to make him appealing or cool or humanize him or establish good bonds with other characters didn't work right and ended up shit. I'm not a cunt (it's why I gave my character intentional personality flaws so he'd be less like me and a more interesting character as a result) but I suck at writing despite practicing it in my free time for a handful of years now. I should be a master at this by now, right? I think I've pretty much mastered animation, at least. And I haven't done that for as long.
He tells himself he wants to look cool and that's why he doesn't pour his tragic backstory out to ponies but deep down he avoids opening up to others because he doesn't see much point in talking for hours about how he feels when most ponies would have no idea what to say in response. He also doesn't want to burden them unnecessarily.
For smug cunt scenes... I was thinking of making him a reductive cynic who eventually gets over that after being wrong enough times.
Initially his motivation is "I want to live! There are so many books I haven't read yet and new foods I haven't experienced yet!" but once he grows his motivation is "I don't want to die and leave Twilight alone. But if I have to sacrifice myself to go out in a blaze of glory and look cool doing it, I will".
I've noticed I have a bad habit of saying "What if I do this? Do you see anything wrong with that? Do you not like that? Is that okay? What should I do?" instead of "What do you think the pros and cons of doing this are? What are my options? What could I choose to do?". It's stupid and I'll stop doing it.

I've been thinking about my "original animu with disguised political messaging" idea, since it can be awesome+smart to attract new viewers and contain subtle redpills.
But it seems the more every fantasy world diverges from reality, the less applicable any message or moral in fantasy-land is to reality.
There are shows able to have positive messages despite their fantasy-land settings like Avatar, and stories that squander their potential for positive messages in the name of selling fantasies.
As a teenager I knew people who got into martial arts and fitness specifically because Avatar and Kung Fu Panda made it look awesome. Many Swordtubers I watch were inspired by old movies. A Power Rangers reviewer I watch said "Seeing Mighty Morphin Power Rangers as a kid got me into martial arts".
Wired men in spandex kicking fursuiters and magic talking pandas and tai chi actually being worth a damn are purely fantasy elements. But they make martial arts look cool. And that sticks out compared to all the media where some people are simply Special(TM) and given success while some are not. Some were born in the correct easy world perfect for them and some needed magic to teleport them there.
Sometimes a piece of media contains both at once. In Avatar you're either an Avatar or you're not, but at the same time any bender and even any non-bender can be important and a hero.
Some people finish a Superman comic wishing he was real, and some finish a Superman comic wanting to be heroic like him in any way they can.
What are you more likely to encounter online? A normal anime fan who says "Watching Naruto inspired me to get fit like Rock Lee" or a fat anime fan who says "Man, I wish I was born in Naruto-land with all the best superpowers. I'd be amazing and fuck all the bitches and life would be easy"?
While Persona 5 pretends to be pro-rebellion its main story quest is an authoritarian's wet dream where god randomly gives you and your designated wannabe-light-yagami rival superpowers then turns random people absurdly evil and the populace ignorant+helpless so the fantasy of brainwashing a serial rapist high school gym coach, a murderous art plagarizer, a yakuza boss who's loan-sharking many people including schoolchildren, the CEO of mean burger corp about to sell his daughter like a used car to a cartoonishly bad rich guy so he can be a part of the political world, and a mean politician into confessing all their sins before you spontaneously gain the people's support and face the evil god who orchestrated everything bad ever and shoot him on Christmas. You never had a choice in the matter unless your chance to fail at surviving the circumstances forced upon you and restart at a checkpoint counts, free will was always a lie, almost every realistic attempt to resist/prevent corruption and abuse from those above you fails or makes life worse for you and others, all so the game can pretend shooting God on Christmas is a triumphant moment that perfectly wraps up this clusterfuck of a story.
But fuck all of that for a second.
Fuck the writing choices. Looking at the basics...
The very mechanics of how this fantasy functions (Humans when entering this world's parallel magical world named The Metaverse with the aid of someone with a special phone app, an app that places itself on the protagonist's phone out of the blue and reappears whenever he deletes it, can use toy swords/toy guns to fight monsters made of bad thoughts in the public consciousness. And also enter people's brains aka Palaces aka deviantart Magical Realms and brainwash them by beating their evil form in a fight and then taking the most important item from their brain-world) are too abstract from reality.
Nobody could accomplish this in reality.
Hell, even how P5 treats reality sucks. Getting fitter in reality by spending a day at the gym, getting smarter by spending a night reading, getting closer to your friends by spending time with them, all of these things are exclusively done for the benefits they'll magically provide when you go to magic-land and your training means you have more HP or that time spent hanging out with your friends and solving their personal problems with magic makes them Critical Hit more often. Except when the self-improvement benefits real-world stats that arbitrarily block progress in most "spend time with your friends" questlines. Everything comes back to benefit the impossibility of fantasy-land.
Compare this to Pokemon, anyone can own a Pokemon and you don't have to be a chosen one. You train your Pokemon to be better fighters and become a better decision-maker for them. Individual episodes can still have morals appropriate for kid's shows.

I've been thinking about how my story diverges from reality.
It's got made-up continents and a made-up history with elements copied from reality (catgirl germany did nothing wrong despite what the Goblin bankers and the Orcs they import say about the Nyazis), people have Aura from RWBY but men have more because they're stronger mentally+physically even though it's locked away by psychological restrictions imposed on men by intentionally-shit animal-hunting schools+military academies, respawning monsters prey upon humanity in dangerous zones that trap humans in isolated settlements while making "Hunter of monsters who takes their elemental pelts/horns/bones" a valid job, the hero's totalitarian town forces people into its wamen-controlled military, melee weapons hurt giant monsters more than guns and siege weapons, everyone's got animal ears+tail because anime, only 1 in every 10 people are males yet males are still oppressed, and so on.
What are the pros and cons here?
>Nigel has gained a level
Can't decjde which social issues to do first in my story.
Maybe the level of politics in the world should escalate over time? I had this idea where at first the hero is a faggot who wanks to anime every night and thinks being a cool above-it-all smart rebel means staying quiet and never voting and letting politicians get away with everything because "hurr durr they're all bad so who cares" but over time his understanding of the world.and desire for liberty grows as he becomes less of a faggot.
test results.png
I did the thing, but I don't think my answers are right. Does the test lower your moral score if you say things like "Religion influences my morality" and "Communes are shit" and "Other cultures are inferior"?
Don't take this test too seriously, there are a lot of better ones if you want something accurate. I suggested 12wackies because it gives "off-compass" answers.
I don't take it seriously, I think it was funny. One question asked if I think my country should be anonymous to the world! What kind of wokeandan clown thinks a country can remain anonymous? Sure, maybe if you hid a sufficiently large and sufficiently populated bunker sufficiently well in a sufficiently rarely-visited area you could call the interior of that bunker a "nation". But aside from that, I just don't see how it could be possible. And the words used to describe these ideologies... I've never heard of "Urbanism" or "Destructionism" or "Ochlocracy" (turns out it means mob rule) before.
I don't see how any of this strangeness could make for an interesting fictional faction of baddies.
I've been thinking of an evil fictional terrorist group sort of like Team Aqua/Magma from Pokemon but for energy, eco-nuts who (on the surface) insist the world should be harmed less but are really violent thugs smashing shit for fun and self-interested thieves trying to sabotage the nation's industrial capability and waste govt money on useless shit because they're funded by an evil foreign nation that exists to be the baddies. That should help confused viewers figure out they're evil, right? Especially if there's a scene where the hero says "There must be a better way to settle your grievances with the big businesses and find a balance between the needs of the people and the needs of their world!" to the evil leader of the evil organization who says "Mwahaha, you thought this was actually about energy? Who do you think's paying me to blow up those mines and solar farms? Eviltopia, of course!"