Dead-eyed and emaciated, Twilight Sparkle trudged wearily behind her master. Her hooves were caked with the mud of many a long journey, her once lustrous mane and tail now hung thin and limp against her bony frame, her once vibrant coloration a dull sickly gray-violet. Her cutie mark had long since faded and there was now only a thin patch of discoloration on her flank to hint that one had ever been there. Each day she yearned for Death's sweet embrace, yet she knew that Death would not come. She would not enter that cold and blissful eternal sleep until her hated master lay dead and defeated, and she knew by the rules that bound her that his defeat could not come from her hand. Hoof. Horn. Whatever.
She noticed that her master had stopped walking and was now scanning the air around him attentively. The silhouette of his flabby form stood upright in that peculiar way these "human" creatures had. His ponderous bulk, wrapped in sweaty garments and capped with a strange hat that Rarity had once, in a time long ago, told her was called a "fedora", cut a misshapen and corpulent figure against the murky autumn sky.
"What is it my master?" said Twilight wearily. "Must I once again slob your malodorous and unwashed tiny shlong?"
Nigel turned to her with irritation and waved his flabby arm, motioning for her to be silent.
"Quiet, wench," he said. "I was thinking about YuGiOh cards. And yes, I will need you to do that later. Or, actually, yes. Go ahead and do that right now."
Twilight sighed heavily, but did not protest. Nigel slid down his soiled sweat pants and the squat, stubby mushroom-shaped protrusion that he laughably referred to as his member popped out. Twilight approached with resignation and open mouth. Her lips closed distastefully around the hated little protuberance. Although the length was hardly a problem, being close enough to Nigel to inhale the aroma of sweat and moldy cheese that clung to him like a miasma meant that it always required all of her concentration just to avoid gagging. She could hear him breathing heavily and babbling about YuGiOh cards as her long-misused pony mouth worked its magic, and she thanked whatever powers might exist in this decaying universe that he never lasted very long.
He rubbed his grubby paws through her mane, which she knew meant that she would be scrubbing Cheeto dust out of it for the next week and a half. She didn't even know why she both
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