This thread begins with Tracy and Trump stuck in a curious sort of trap, their only hope of escape being Infernius who is operating a control panel with around 40 buttons, only one of which will set them free and most of which result in some form of torture or death. The buttons bear the same obscure script as elsewhere which Infernius couldn't read even if it was comprehensible.
Welcome back to the Nuts RP thread, where we're about to go Saw on 2 of the party members!
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1238 replies and 144 files omitted.
I need to read more, cause I just realized I get to add +4 ability points to Torc
>>50988Conscious of her unborn child, Tracy descends on the horsedong (engorged by her oppressive grip),
carefully.
>>50989We get 4 ability points?
>>50990You've already applied three of those four, and torcuil hasn't, but yes
>>50991>Cleric>not a mageYou could use a Miracle, if you were
really desperate. But it's hardly worth the situation.
>>50987That makes much more sense.
"Ooooh!" she says with a start. She doesn't stop him though, until <whooooof> she's straddling his face.
>>50994STOP GIVING HIM IDEAS
>>50992Uh, gotta think which one I use the most
>>50993>acute angel >>50995*bits nipples gently*
>>50994You're right it wouldn't be worth it.
>>50998Between being blue balled for too long, and the excitement of being a pony again... Tract fills herself being filled up with semen already
Trumpaladin gives an incredibly embarassed smile
"Sorry... it'd been a while"
*motions with hooves*
"You can keep going. I can go on"
*smiles embarrassed*
>>51000*continues pumping up and down*
*caresses cheek*
"There, there.. Who's a good pony?"
*pumping continues*
>>51002"I - I am?"
So
this is what it's like to be the horse, Trumpaladin thinks to himself. At least it's pretty sexy
Hey, you could probably permanently turn a hoo-man into a pony with the Polymorph Any Object spell.
>>51003"Would you like to be
my mount, ~Flashy?" she implores, with not a shred of irony peeking through
>>51005>>51006Hey, you captured my responce perfectly
>>51005You'd even get to keep your intelligence score...
[1d20 = 3]>>51008"I am the one who mounts!"
grapple check (to switch positions)
"You can ride me sometimes though"
>>51011Ha, you fucked up
>>51010Maybe a unicorn so he can at least hold and move stuff?
>>51013Better as a pegasus.
Actually, it'd be easier to turn a creature into a pony before turning it into a unicorn, because it'd then get the +5 modifier towards permanency, being as how they're both ponies.
>>51008failing to move himself over her, Trumpaladin think he should lash out with his wings, enveloping her in a wall of orange feathers, and grabbing her with them. Then, with all the power of his hind legs and his rear legs, he would buck and flap to thrust deep in to her. Then, she would know his power and her place. But as his wings wrap around her shoulders, Trumpaladin remembers a line in a nature documentary many years before. Something about a Zebra's penis being able to give a female an abortion. He lays his wings and legs down and submits to the silver haired pregnant woman, as he contemplates the power that lies between his legs
[1d20+4 = 8]>>51018>all this while he's lying on his backlol that's a 10 DC ride check to stay in control, max
>>51019Uh... That's what he doesn't do
>>51021She falls anyways?
>>51023She's a bit clumsy in this body
She stabilizes herself by holding onto his dong.
>>51025It's solid as a rock, that is for sure. But it's slippery
>>51026You should see some of the things you type,
pickle rick [2d20 = 22]>>51017While I try to consider what benefits I would get from making Torc a pegasus, both him and Mr. Snek try to find a wand machine
>>51027Tracy grips tightly; a little too tightly (she's not used to having fingers).
>>51030>making Torc a pegasusOh, I thought you meant Trumpaladin.
Torc would be a unicorn, because unicorns have beards.
[3d20 = 39]
>>51024
*sad pony body language*
*Surprise kiss attack*
>>51031That would have set him off, if he hadn't been set off earlier. She maintains her grip
>>51032>Unicorns have beardsKek, he is like sunburst
>>51029I was inquiring about the abortion via dick part. M-morty
>>51030Of course Torc
4 can't find shit but Snek
18+9 thinks he may have found something
>>51032If Torc could do levitation with his horn as a unicorn I would have no objections.
But what will Death think... >>51033Considering the current configuration, that surprise kiss attack would be directed at horsepussy, which is also why grappling horsepussy failed.
>>51036>Hooman. This one.Snek indicates to Torcuil a machine. Its says "Wands" on it.
>>51037This
>>51035I definitely heard that. I have no idea if a My Little Pony stallion with a human could do that, even one as well endowed as Trumpaladin. But Trumpaladin willfully misinterprets reality in ways that favor his idea of his own sexual prowess. So he thinks he could abort a female
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>>51039Yeah, but I'm still not sure if it makes wands
>>51038Torc pats Mrs. Snek on the head
"Thanks lad, now shall we see if we can get this thing working?"
Do I roll knowledge engineering to understand how it works, or would it be spellcraft? Craft?
>>51037Fair point my friend
>>51039*Jumps up (front half, not rear) and licks weird silver haired woman*
>>51040[giggles]
*turns around and bends over*
>>51036>>51028I need confirmation on this.
>>51040Ive never heard that before. Thats the strangeat thing ive heard an animal do, and it doesnt seem very practical from an evolutionary stand point.
>>51041She sinks further onto his face.
>nommed pony noises>>51047Well, if the female is with another male's child, it makes
perfect sense from a competitive-evolutionary standpoint
>>51047It's extremely practical. A mare that is pregnant with someone else's child is a mare that cannot become pregnant with your child, at least any time soon. So it makes sense that if that pregnant mare's foal is aborted, that the zebra could then impregnate the mare whereas he could not otherwise. Remember that lions will kill the children of other males to make the females go back into heat, so there are other species that do similar things
>>51044*mounts human*
That's kind of a weird thing to type, but he stretches out his wings and sets his hooves on her slim shoulders, and mounts her
*horsey happily humps human*
Actually, she's probably a little larger than she normally is, so she's probably no more likely to be hurt than she normally is... although there's probably a pretty good chance of her being hurt under normal sexual circumstances as well
>>51051Tracy could take it. Her vag is trained well enough.
>>51046Seriously though, would a creature under the affect of that spell be an effective unicorn?
>>51058>>51054>Tracy is such a slut that her vagina is substantially larger than normalTrue, that's why I never thought it would be an issue
>>51055>>51053>>51049But those are not as sexy as horses
>>51056It shouldn't. Polymorph doesn't let you take the new form's supernatural or spell like abilities
>>51054*continues humping less adorable weird woman*
*nibbles ear*
>>51059Yeah, although Animal Shapes shouldn't turn you into a Pegasus, let alone one able to speak.
>>51063Four heads are better than one
>>51062And Infernius shouldn't be able to cast spells of that level because his wisdom score is not high enough to access even half of his spell list. And he should only be able to cast the spell once a day, not on all five of us. We're bullshitting a lot here for roleplay
>>51064She gets that from being an earth pony
>>51068But why spend a whole wish when human is just fine?
>>51070Animal Shapes - 1 willing person per caster level
>>51070>But why spend a whole wish when human is just fine?Why do anything?
>>51071What is Infernius' wisdom?
>>51068>Wish it is thenThis should work.
I've been reading into it for this purpose.
Wish can do literally anything.
>>51070>whyPonies are the superior race.
>>51073>Why do anything?This.
It's all for fun and games.
>>51076>>51075>>51073Im not sure but i think thats right.
>tfw no .txt >>51071I didn't imply that it did
>>51074But that's a whole Wish
>>51077*continues humping*
>>51072Well that makes it more useful
>>51079>that's a whole WishBah, just 5000 XP to turn into whatever you want to be.
>>51081But then Trumpaladin is going to have to try to fuck him...
>>51082IDK what you're getting at with that. She's currently straddling his face.
>>51083Thats pretty gay, Trumpaladin fucking a stallion
>>51083Stallion on stallion aktion
>>51087Oh right, Infernius is a hoers too. Carry on.
>>51083If you do that, you fall.
Okay, so as per the wording of a wish, say the spell works like Polymorph Any Object, only the subject transmuted also gains the functional abilities of its new form?
>>51092*jumps off of woman and onto the floor, looking satisfied*
"You should probably get out of here before my girlfriend comes back, but it's been nice knowing you"
"Thez, you should-"
*looks over to Thez*
"Nevermind"
>>51093*knife lands right next to head, taking a lock of hair with it*
*long, green-eyed stare*
>>51096"Uh, you can stay longer if you like"
*smiles*
Mubbles, "why are they always crazy?" >>51101"Uh brad..... that tracy"
>>51097>Word it very carefullyYeah, it'll tke a bit of planning to dream-up a good ponification spell.
>>51109>the virgins sorcerer and paladinHas lesser waifus
The chad cleric
Convinced a level 40 demon dwelf monk to be his waifu and to switch alignments
>>51112*Death's waifu is the NEET
FTFY
>>51110>Convinced a level 40 demon dwelf monk to be his waifu and to switch alignments*sad paladin noises*
>>51111>Has never died and is often unscathedHe exploded not too long ago.
Nice digits though.
>>51112Eant to bare knuckle box over it?
Night goyim
>>51111>has never diedOnly cause you deleted the post where I rolled a 20 to shoot Trump, then killed Torc anyway>>51112Also, wouldn't Death technically be a god?
>>51115Night
*Trumpaladin goes and lays in a corner, curls up in a ball, and thinks his life over, crying subtly*
>>51116A crit from that gun wouldn't kill him. It does harm, sure, but far from draining all his HP
>>51118Snek grappled Trumpaladin, not Fae
>>51120Torc didn't really get a chance to specify what went on though.
Snek would've gotten an attack of opportunity when Fae entered that square.
>>51119>implying a 20 wouldn't allow a headshot>virgin paladin needs 2 sets of armor to feel safe>chad sorcerer know the best defense is a goo offenseIn the meantime, I'm calling it a night. See you faggots tomorrow night
>>51121He did specify because I asked him. the posts are
>>33547 →>>33548 →>>33550 →He clearly sent snek to grapple Trumpaladin
>snek had attack of opportunitySo? He couldn't kill Fae before she made her attacks
>>51122Rolling a twenty gives double damage. Not instakill
unless you have a sword of sharpness, which occasionally can do that >>51123The high saving throw is kick ass, but it's actually not haxx at all. That really is what happens when you put a cloak of resistance on a high level paladin
>>51122Chan Paladin is armor proficient, and is perfectly capable of offense
>>51124>He couldn't kill Fae before she made her attacksHe could grapple her.
And if he'd grappled Trumpaladin, Trumpaladin could've died very quickly afterwards.
>>51125>That really is what happens when you put a cloak of resistance on a high level paladinSupernatural affects that increase saving throws do not stack under normal SRD rules.
>>51126>Could grapple herIf he had sent snek after her, yeah, he may have. But that is not what he chose
>could have diedA constrictor snake doesn't deal enough damage to kill a full health level 16 paladin in one round
>>51127In general, bonuses of different kind stack
>>51128>bonuses of different kind stackNah, they just overlap. It's in the Magick Overview.
>>51129Maybe if there were a second supernatural bonus. But there isn't. It's 10 base 1 luck 1 ability 4 resistance and 5 from divine grace. All entirely different types and only one supernatural
>>51129Under Combining Magical Effects.
>Spells that provide bonuses or penalties on attack rolls, damage rolls, saving throws, and other attributes usually do not stack with themselves. More generally, two bonuses of the same type don’t stack even if they come from different spells (or from effects other than spells; see Bonus Types, above).>Usually, a bonus has a type that indicates how the spell grants the bonus. The important aspect of bonus types is that two bonuses of the same type don’t generally stack. With the exception of dodge bonuses, most circumstance bonuses, and racial bonuses, only the better bonus works (see Combining Magical Effects, below). The same principle applies to penalties—a character taking two or more penalties of the same type applies only the worst one. >>51131Trumpaladin isn't using any spells for his saving throws, so all of that is irrelevant. I don't see why you're so hard at understanding
>>51131>or from effects other than spellsBy this, it refers to Items or Supernatural Abilities.
>>51131>A bonus that isn’t named stacks with any bonus>a paladin gains a bonus equal to her Charisma bonus (if any) on all saving throwsCheckmate, the paladin bonus is unamed
>>51133Look, if the divine grace bonus were a Resistance bonus, then sure, it wouldn't stack with a cloak. But it isn't a resistance bonus, it's an unnamed bonus. So there's no more conflict between divine grace and a cloak or a cloak and the ability score bonus
>>51123Why are you being such a dick tonight? The only reason I got in the contest with Torcuil is because
he started it and it doesn't concern you. So why are you being an asshole to me and reading the rules wrong when I did nothing to you?
>>51133It's really not that big of an issue though. We all do shit that doesn't work under normal rules.
It seems as though the makers of the game were pretty keen on making sure shit didn't stack, not because they thought buffing saves would break the game (not an issue, just throw-out bigger monsters), but mainly because stacking negative penalties with magick could produce attacks so potent they'd 1-shot any creature.
>>51134>unnamed bonusinteresting point.
>>51135No hard feelings.
>reading the rules wrongThat's just how I've come to interpret them. I'm trying to get a better understanding of this as well.
Either way, you're allowed to do it anyway.
I'm going to bed too now.
>>51136Divine Grace is a saving throw bonus.
Cloak of Resistance is spell resistance.
Two totally different augments which do not conflict with one another.
>>51139>Cloak of Resistance is spell resistanceOh, my source said:
>Cloak of Resistance: These garments offer magic protection in the form of a +1 to +5 resistance bonus on all saving throws (Fortitude, Reflex, and Will).I guess I was looking at the wrong cloak.
Tracy heads off to the workshop to forge some undead-bane weapons, because her faggot likes acquiring things.
What's the best type of mundane weapon for an undead-bane? They're immune to critical hits, so threat range doesn't matter. Tracy's proficient in all simple and marital weapons, although I'd prefer something light so she can use weapon finesse and multiweapon fighting.
>>51141Now that I think of it, it's gotta be something with an edge, because Tracy.
Daggers are always great.
>>51141The shortsword has the highest damage die of the light weapons
>>51143Ah, yes.
Daggers may be more easily concealed for up-close Sneak Attacks, but Shortswords are the light-weapon of the martial PC.
>>51145You can throw a shortsword too
>>51146That's something to remember.
Tracy's claws are easily better against living targets, even if they're not so easily concealed (actually, I think animated objects should have a penalty on that); best for rending your enemy to pieces once stealth isn't an option.
Swordswords are seemingly the best weapon damage-wise, seeing as how they're martial weapons as well.
Daggers are great for Assassins and Rogues though, because they get a +4 benefit for Sleight Of Hand checks: if you want to stab someone while you're talking to them for an easy Sneak Attack, use a dagger.
>>51147Oh wait, that's a +2 bonus. Kunai get the +4 bonus.
>>51147I guess if what you're relying on to kill a person is the 10d6 of sneak attack damage, or a Death Attack, then the small size of the dagger doesn't matter
>>51148The weird oriental farming tool is much less sexy than a dagger
>>51141Maces n flails r best against corporeal undead. Incorporeals are pretty much any weapon, as long as they can hit.
>>51152>macesYeah, sounds better for skeleton who get that damage reduction.
>>51149>the small size of the dagger doesn't matterWell, it does if you don't want your enemy to see your weapons before you're ready for your lethal pincer-attack.
>tfw no fingers to use hand crossbow >>51156They'd be even better as maces of Disruption, but idk how much time the characters would spend preparing before the next plunge.
Actual image of the leader of the banshees, whose wail was intended to drown out the truth of Trumpaladin's own holy word
>>51158>whose wail was intended to drown out the truth of Trumpaladin's own holy wordYou think he could use Blasphemy?
>>51159Oh that will be the powers of the lichs yet to come. He is but a novice, capable of only the soulless banshee wail
>>51160>powers of the lichs yetBlasphemy is a Divine spell, so only a Clerical lich (a Rabbi?) would be able to cast it; probably a Death/Evil-Domain Cleric.
[1d20 = 5]
Rolling to invent zero point energy
>>51154I wanna find some living enemies to rob and murder.
>>51162>>51163*looks up from mace she's working on*
*keks*
>>51165"Almost had an idea there, red guy?"
>>51165"Don't Roman salute her, she wishes harm upon the white race"
>>51169"Alright then, 'wants to harm very large numbers of innocent white individuals, even as she is indifferent to the race as a whole.'"
>>51167It just dawned on me that I've recolored as almost as many red cows as my mother has paintings of red cows... kek
>>51170Nah.
It's not really a factor of quantity or innocence.
I was going more for the psychopath archetype, you could compare my objective to what's described in the BoVD.
>indifferent to race as a whole"Fuck yaks."
>>51172"If a Somali pirate captures an American tanker, kills the crew, steaks the ship and cargo, and disrupts international trade in the process, do you really care what his perspective is on why he did it? I don't care what the motives are, the result is the same."
>>51174"I don't really care what a Somali is and that's missing the point. The point is the people victimized by highywaymen, robbers, and other high criminal's. They are who I care about"
>>51177Trumpaladin gives an untrusting glare, then moves for the door
"We're not done here. We'll never be done here. Always a keg of powder, waiting to explode."
He leaves
>>51173"Negros deserve the rope."
>>51177>>51178"Y tracy want white race to die"
>>51180"She doesn't want it to die, she just wants to do harm to it"
>>51180"I really don't know what he was talking about." she says, looking somewhat confused; seemingly trying to preoccupy herself as she pounds on a mace with her her special forging-shoes.
"Could you cast Heal on these?"
>>51158APPROVED>>51161APPROVED>>51173I trust I don't need to point out the logical fallacy there,....
>>51175So naturally, Trump would have no objection to a vigilante who murders those same highwaymen, robbers, and other high criminals?
>>51186"Hey thez can me ask a favor?"