This thread begins with Infernius pushing random buttons on an already random object of ridiculous power.
Welcome to the next page of the thread series that everyone knows about but no one mentions cuz autism.
Its a role-playing thread, welcoming involved/random shitposting in addition to participation.
There's plenty of material if you wanna get a glimpse, otherwise I'll get back to it.
The first effect that is discharged by the rod is a ridiculously compressed stream of air, blowing back everyone around Infernius.
The second effect is that Infernius himself becomes invisible.
The third effect is someone adjacent to infernius is hit by Flesh to Stone.
The fourth effect is that Enlarge Size is cast on the statue-character..
The fifth effect is the rod summons a mouse.
Players should roll a d100
[Read more] 923 replies and 120 files omitted.
Now now, I did say "for example". That was a hypothetical illustration, and not intended to be a lasting scenario.
>>46633>>46636Rolling d2 to detirmine 1 user or 2 target
[1d2 = 1]And rolling d3 to determine color for shits and giggles
[1d3 = 2]1 purple
2 green
3 blue
>>46636So
now you're making an effort to avoid turning into Princess Fiona
>>46635>Better start recoloring.ReeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeAngry content-producer noises!
>>46636Yeah.. sure it was..
>>46638I haven't gone down the list, but I know she's the one turned into a statue this time
>>46641Your character is green now
She still looks okay though
>>46642A green statue, 'cuz the color-change took place after the flesh to stone
>>46643The invisible again too? I figured I'd go over it after a bit.
Ogre Fiona is hotter than human
.... I want the random-rod..
>>46648I know, I'm shocked by this revelation.
>>46649Fuck, I wasn't expecting this
>>46645Do I need to cast a spell on her or something?
I can tan her
Orange Master-race
>>46648I fucking love pushing buttons, man; even imaginary ones.
I'm pretty autistic that way...
>>46650It necessitates a complete overhaul of current strategy, by sheer inconceivability. Who could have guessed.
>>46652More secrets, completely unknown before this point
>>46652Your character can borrow the wand, just don't hurt yourself with it
You'e going to hurt yourself with it though I'm sure
summon another creature, I want to make Fae eat another one
\r
>>46654Do we know which button summons creatures though?
*presses button*
[1d100 = 72]>>46655Everyone roll a 1d100; lowest roll just got slowed.
[1d100 = 78]>>46655I need something to point this thing at.
*summons dire rat*
*presses random button*
>>46665Oh, snap. I totally missed that, that was before the facepalm even. Fair point, Trump and Fae are clear.
Torcuil then, is slowed.
"Put a snail symbol next to that one!" Thez says
[1d100 = 69]*presses yet another button*
>>46667carves snail
>>46667Reeee stop with the haxx!
There's more than enough as is
[1d100 = 28]>>46668Yep... I just hit the landmine...
[1d100 = 39]>>46670Oops! I pressed another button!
Tiny Tracy runs away, pointing the rod ahead of her as she continues to push buttons.
>>46670You're too small to hold the rod.
>>46669Oh, it just bit him in the ass.
>>46673She was formerly on the borderline between medium and small
Now she's like tiny
Tracy just got reduced to 1/12 her height.
I'm not quite sure the exact numbers and thus the size, but its 1"/foot tall
>>46673*assumes monstrous shape*
She should be ~just big enough to press buttons now.
*Presses button once more (if she already pressed one, reroll)*
>>46676You are now five inches at the shoulder
>>46677The grass is now high enough for Fae, who swallowed whole a creature Tracy's size, to sneak around
>>46676Stahp w/ the buttons!
She's literally toy sized!
[1d20+39 = 41]>>46677Rolling to Gide in grass (bonus because size).
"You'll never find me! Squeals a tiny voice."
[1d20+20 = 29][1d20+23 = 25]>>46681Spot Check Listen Check from Fae
Hey Trumpaladin, your god just declared me Anon Filly. Does this mean I turn anon filly ingame?
>>46681"Are you fucking kidding me?"
>>46684Wut?
[1d100 = 52]>>46683Lol!
Runs off Pressing yet another button she hasn't marked
[1d100 = 83]>>46686Everyone roll to see who got bigger
[1d20+23 = 32][1d20+20 = 30]>>46686Sounds and grass movement
Okay, so if I'm understanding this correctly, Thez is Green, Tracy is diminutive, and Torcuil is Anon Filly?
>>46692Torcuil's Faggot has now been bestowed Faggotry over Anon
Griffon Filly.
>>46693Thez is lots of things. She took every "against an opponent" effect that was pressed.
>>46693The room is also full of elephant grass.
>>46696Huh, that fits with the motif of Tracy running off,....
This is what happens by the way, its not crazy haxx that result of such items, its shenanigens.
[1d20+20 = 34][1d20+23 = 25]>>46697>>46696Spot and Listen Check!
>>46698So long as the buttons aren't marked
[22d100 = 1109]
*mashes a bunch of buttons*
>>46695>I now have 3 charactersIs it the real Anon Filly, or just the griffon in disguise?
>>46699No one ever gets a chance to mark the "shrink" button.
>>46700Can you wait for just a minute?
[2d100 = 81]>>46700Rolling for the two summoned animals
>>46701Griffon? We did have the real anon filly show up, but I think there are many anon fillies
>>46704No, the act of being shrunk made Tracy lose track of which button it was. What happened after the shrinking is subject to a
SERIOUS review, and and can be considered 'potential'.
[1d100 = 26]
*presses button*
[1d20+16 = 24]
[1d20+16 = 25]
Elephant on Fae: gore attack and slam
[3d20 = 25]>>46711I really need to Armor Fae. Neither attack landed. Fae: full attack
[22d100 = 1221]>>46709*Trots on remote with all four hooves, pointing it at any random entity, pressing as many buttons as she can*
[1d100 = 29]
I think I preferred being chaotic neutral, desu...
*Presses yet another button*
e\\_/e
Thez leans over to GM and whispers, "Crimson Sky."
>>46715Stahp
GM, can I get stats for anon filly?
[1d20+16 = 29]
[1d20+16 = 19]
Attack on Fae
The normally peaceful and placcid blue skies above port barry turn a sick and deep red color, as the sun darkens in brightness and intensity.
[4d100 = 183]>>46719I
need to press EVERY BUTTON!
*Hops with all four hooves, pressing four random buttons*
[2d6+10 = 21]>>46720Poor Fae is slammed. Damn good think she ain't a bitch
>Fae has taken more damage now from her Master's madness than from a room full of mummies, sort of like how her master took more damage from jumping from a horse than a lich, or from sexually assaulting a horse than from a room full of mummies [3d20 = 30]>>46724Fae responds with full attack
>>46721Can I at least confirm if it is the griffon?
[4d100 = 115]
[maniac cackling]
[3d20 = 33]>>46729What a hell of a difference those last two AC make. Trachemar would have taken damage
Kill elephant
>>46727It is a griffon wizard (sigh), currently operating under an alter self spell, expressed by faggot to intend to cast wish to break up Infernius and Thez and/or make Thez' baby Trump's.
Thez and Bones are the only characters who know Anon is a Griffon
>>46731Where is Trump in all this?
[4d100 = 102]
Tracy continues hoping on the rod with all four hooves, spinning the rod like a bottle
*Press, press, press, press!*
[1d20 = 11][1d20 = 18]>>46733Watching the fights like a roman emperor watching a lion kill exotic imported animals. Should he enter the ring? Fuck it, ENTERS RING
Rolling for intiative
[1d20 = 17]>>46735Elephant charges Trump and attempts gore attack
Why the fuck did I not put on the ring shield and the ring of protection
[4d100 = 156]>>46737Because fireballs are flying out every once in a while.
Good thing the deck is fireproof
>>46732Does anyone see any reason to keep the griffon?
>>46729Well I am, I don't think Torc is though
[2d8+15 = 28][2d100 = 74]>>46737FUCK. Lands against his lower 31 AC rolling for damage and those other two creatures Tracy summoned
[4d20 = 58]>>46736There are two other new elephants if Thez wants to kill something, besides the one attacking Trump and the one Fae killed
Trump: full round attack
>>46739Because that faggot may come back?
Before anyone rolls anything else, can
I get a quick rundown?
[2d20 = 37]>>46742Tracy's Faggot is a Psycho, and Trumpaladin is killing elephants that have been summoned en masse by Tracy
rolling for Gore and Slam attack against Trumpaladin. A 15 or higher lands
[1d20 = 6]>>46744Jesus Christ. Rolling to confirm threat
>>46742Tracy is hidden, rolling the rod around the room, using the advantage of her fine size and high Dex to be un-findable.
Every once in a while, she spins the rod like a bottle, and jumps on it with all fours for 4 random buttons.
[2d8+15 = 25][2d6+10 = 15]>>46745THANK GOD. Not a crit. Rolling for damage on Trump
[4d20 = 34]>>46747Sigh, Full round against elephant
[4d10+30 = 53]>>46748FUCKING KEENED SWORD OF SHARPNESS!!!
>>46742>rundownI'm leaving, see you guys later
>>46746The room is also full of Elephant grass, making it appear like the jungles of India, and making it easier for the fine-sized psychopath to Hide.
[1d20+4 = 9]>>46752Tracy has Improved Evasion. Can she roll a Reflex save?
>already knows she wouldn't make it, but rolling anyway >>46754No, its purely armor class based. Thez has a +43 to attack, and Tracy gets a +4 to AC for size.
[4d20 = 54]>>46751You're fucking lucky there are elephants to kill. And that I am equally psychotic
Trumpaladin dons the shield ring, and exchanges his engagement ring for the ring of protection. AC is now 38
MOUNTS LION DRAGON
BOTH ELEPHANTS ATTACK!
[7d20 = 101][2d6+10 = 16]>>46756Fae is slammed. But Trumpaladin and Fae strike back!
>>46756I'm having so much fun right now.
[4d10+30 = 52][7d6+14 = 41]>>46757All attacks landed and Fae took 16 damage
>>46758I am too actually
[4d20 = 21]>>46759The elephant is damned near kill, but they strike back
[7d20 = 75]>>46760Pls no squish Trump and Fae for gladiatorial combat
>>46761Weak ass rolls from them. Trumpaladin targets the next elephant while Fae targets the near death one
>>46762Its not a fatal squish, its a "stopping Tracy from pushing anymore buttons, so I can make sure she isn't unraveling space time by this point" squish
[4d10+30 = 48][5d6+10 = 26]>>46763Fae trips on elephant corpse, but first elephant is kill I think and every attack lands on the other one
>>46764Tho I will say, check your ID
[4d20 = 37]>>46764F
>>46766Last elephant attacks. Twice, because Fae tripped and so lose a turn, but Trumpaladin dismounts to face the Elephant alone
>>46768An unseen force disrupts Thez' balance, unsquishing Tracy.
[4d20 = 42]>>46769But an elephant can't Touch Trumpaladin
Full round attack
[4d10+30 = 55]>>46771Even a two lands, and Trumpaladin wonders to himself why he doesn't use Power Attack or Drunken Sword
[2d20 = 15]>>46772Elephant, with 1 hit point left - no really, 1 hp - attacks back defiantly
[4d20 = 45]>>46773Weak. Trumpaladin finishes
[1d20+15 = 32]>>46770*urge to resume pressing buttons arises*"... Heheheheh..! S-sorry about that.."
her face betrays her feelings thoughRolling Bluff, because that's what she'd do
[1d20+27 = 47]>>46768Rolling sense motive on Pony, Because Trumpaladin is a fucking Jedi with his sense motive
>>46770I killed 4 elephants! Even if Trumpaladin got gored twice and slammed, and Fae got slammed twice... for 68 and 37 damage respectively
[1d20 = 13]>>46776Thez' eyes narrow, and throw a darkened kunai next to the rod
>>46777>TRIPS>Natural 20>My ModifierI AM GOD. ALL THE PONY'S SECRETS SPILL OUT!
>>46779This should have been covered in the quick rundown. Who am i kidding, Thez is probably still a statue
>>46780You can instantly tell that she's not at all sorry for what she just did.
She's smirking a little bit too.
[minimum-sized pony noises]
"... At least I know what all of the buttons do now.."
[1d20+20 = 22][1d20+23 = 29]>>46782I KNOW YOUR SECRETS
>>46781At least Trumpaladin has no problems besides being two thirds dead
Spot and Listen check on Pony, since Fae has only eaten alive one small animal today. And fucking mauled to death two huge ones
>>46783You may want to stay quiet
[Read more] >>46783No, in all the commotion Tracy would have had NO chance to mark the buttons.
[1d20+23 = 24][1d20+20 = 30]>>46786You were heard, that's for sure
>>46786By your own description/admission, this was all done on the fly and in the heat of the moment. IDEK what happened, given all the buttons Tracy pushed.
>>46788She was
completely focused on the buttons, looking down at her hooves as she jumped up and down on them.
She did not care one bit what was going on around her.
[1d20 = 9]>>46789Fae has Track damn it! And she knows pony was near the rod
[1d20+23 = 31][1d20+20 = 26]>>46785Is succeeding on a listen check good enough for a grapple?
>>46789Denied. Please. Stop. For one fucking second. I'm not saying "you're restricted from doing anything ever", I'm saying I have no idea what all these fugging dice rolls mean. This gives me 3-ish options. 1. is let it play out, and see where it lands.
2. is stop it here, assess, and continue.
3. is nerf all this shit and go back to before Tracy started,... "acting".
>>46794But I killed Four summoned African Elephants...
That's probably better than Tracy being permanently changed colors or whatever the fuck she did though
>>46795You know, I'm sure she shot fireballs straight into the thick grass
WHERE IS YOUR COVER NOW!
>>46795You know what, no. Nevermind. Forget I said anything.
>>46798THAT ALSO BURNED!
Although there was rain as well. I'm really confused as to what happened
She probably also turned herself green
And then Permanently Blue
TRACY IS BLUE NOW!
[2d20 = 26]>>46799It returns to the status quo anyways, since none of these are permanent. Except color change. But let's ignore that
*heal check on self and Kitty*
A fine-sized voice emanates from an indeterminate direction:
"... If I come out now, will you be mad at me...?"
>>46801SELF STARTS TO HEAL!
Should cure serious wounds anyways, even though I'm sure that isn't enough
*kitty cures light wounds then falls the fuck asleep*
>>46802*puts kitty to sleep*
*NOW she decides to come out*
"For what?"
Trumpaladin is covered in blood and bandages, but is holding several full sized Tusks
>>46804"... I made a bit of a mess..."
"... That was pretty badass of you, fighting all of those pachyderms at once..."
>>46805Trumpaladin blushes at the compliment, then poses like a conquering Brit, with refined expression
"I fucking drove those endangered elephants to extinction"
\r
>>46806"I know, and it was
~sooo cool of you."
*humps proportionately colossal leg*
>>46807Tries to pose heroically. Like Pic related, but with a small blue probably invisible pony on his leg
>>46809>no peach rings*turns into monster to fly up onto shoulder*
*reverts to pony form, and sits on shoulder, also posing*
>>46810*Hair waves majestically in the wind*
>>46812*A cold fear goes down his spine*
>>46814*does not look at pony*
"You're small now. But you'll be gig again. Yuge, even. And..."
*beat*
"It's not that my hand was crushed at the exact moment I needed it. It's that I can never do that again without fear of...
I want to have a horse I can mess around with"
>>46813"...Is there something wrong, Flashy?" (aside from the obvious)
>>46815>has no memory of crushing his hand"Well that won't do at all...."
*crawls down arm*
"Come on! Stick your pinkie in."
>>46818*still feels extremely awkward*
>>46820"This is... weird" he says to the Green statue of Thez
>>46821Isn't she an invisible green statue?
>>46822Yes. Yes she is. I think the green came after the invisible though
*sighs and sticks pinkie out*
>>46823You still have another Break Enchantment for the day, right?
It'd free her of transmutations
she might be mad though..>>46824*eases back onto pinkie*
".. Hnnng..! There..! Th-this isn't so scary now, i-is it?"
>>46825I had to use his second 4th level spell on cure serious wounds because an elephant got several good rolls against a not-fully armored Trumpaladin
*stares at the small horse making love to his pinkie*
>>46826Why U no Lay On Hands? It cures exactly the right amount.
>>46826*Makes sweet love to pinkie*
>>46827I hate using up spells. Lay of Hands is an awesome weapon against undead. Also I didn't think of that
>>46828*Stares in baffled fascination at tiny pony going at his pinkie*
>>46830I gotta stay in-character.
>>46830Kek
>>46831"I still don't know if I trust putting a penis in your larger form"
>>46832[strained mimi-pony noises]
She doesn't respond, but she's clearly trying her hardest to impress him.
>>46835*moves pony around like finger puppet on his pinkie*