Welcome back to the RP thread.
Darkemeter is now a party asset. Tracy tends dutifully to her little-giant birdies, Infernius seeks to get closer to Hitler, Trump just wants a dagger or something, Torcuil is,... doing stuff? Thez tries her best to stay upbeat and focus on nice things. Lenos has been ahem not-seen since Kiynen the lady-dragon showed up, and for the moment nothing grandiose is happening, which is good cuz reasons.
This is a 3.5ed (ish, its off the wall) continuous RP thread/game, if you're seeing it for the first time. Anyone and everyone is welcome. Speaking of which, Taylor Swift and Sad Alex haven't been seen for a minute. Norfilly's situation is difficult to align with, and Yak Lee has taken to Thez' previous position of liberally and regularly beating the participants of Fight Club. I think that's everyone,....
889 replies and 130 files omitted.
*Finishes butchering monsters and feeds the giblets to her angels*
>*sounds of monster bird-thingy sizzling in a deep fryer*
[relaxed pony noises]
>>35533 →>Lenos is GoneRIP Lenos. May he make a great coat or suit of armor
>>35539*Boops Pony*
*Back rubs pony*
>>35536Norfilly is making
the supreme, ultimate Fasce with all those sticks. Creatures of all kinds shall migrate from across the continent to behold its glory; minstrels shall sing ballads of it's power. We're talking about an artifact-tier relic here; a true legend in the making.
>>35542*weeps at the sheer beauty*
>>35542>Making an artifactThe ability to craft artifacts has been lost
>Image of a Mercury DimeWhat'd Tracy do with that dime Trumpaladin gave her?
>>35543It is really pretty. Especially the first image. Definitely want that as a decoration in government buildings
>>35545id like the pillars of my cathedral to be stone fasces.
>>35546How are you going to make the axe head appear at the top?
>>35547Oh I see. The axe is in the bundle on the edge, not necessarily at the top
>>35543You know what Johnny Cash asked about the faggot behind the faggot? This is the ultimate faggot, crafted from 88 hand-selected rods.
>'Many rods of common grain: Together they form an unbreakable faggot.'>>35544>dimeIt's in her room, beneath the jibbernigger skeleton.
>>35546That goes without saying.
>>35547The axe blades could be omitted if we're talking about stone columns. Think of the Lincoln memorial
>this is where Lincoln logs come from >>35540Oh he's just fraternizing, don't read too much into it.
>>35549Oh look, someone caught one of the many metaphors to the riddle
>>35550It was really late; I had to re-read it the next morning.
>>35550Are we(the faggots) characters in a rpg?
>>35545>Especially the first image. Definitely want that as a decoration in government buildingsThat's one of the two in the U.S. House of Representatives, beside the speaker's podium.
>>35553Yeah I know. They exist on the top of Congress as well, and in the Supreme Court
Behold! The Almighty Faggot!
Tracy is okay with Trumpaladin having multiple waifus
>>35552My faggot might be a noob...
>>35560Hehehehehehe
>>35564Does the outcome of a fight alter the truth?
>>35565it proves who the best husbando is.
>>35564Cuz this is grade-school n sheeit
>>35569>Why wouldn't it matter?Any excuse for a nice duel.
>>35572So you cede to me that thez is best waifu?
>>35573By Paladin's code I am not allowed to lie
>>35575it wouldn't be a lie though.
*makes anti-mage daggers*
>*Faggot researches a bit*
Hey, could Tracy make a Chu-Ko-Nu crossbow attachment to one of her animated gauntlets, like Guts's repeating bow-gun in Berserk? Now that I look at it, a Chu-Ko-Nu doesn't actually require fingers to operate, since it has a pump instead of a trigger.
>>35577It doesn't even normally require a crank. Guts's bow is modified so it can be reloaded easily.
>>35577A pair of dubs confirm, I'm surprised it took this long for you to suggest it. Its a relatively simple mechanism too. Range isn't the greatest, but for a repeating crossbow, who cares?
Fucking hell, You guys where active while I was gone. Whats up?
>>35580thez is confirmed best waifu.
>>35579The repeating crossbow is one hell of a lot larger than the gauntlets. That's not an attachment
>>35581Wrong
>>35581Tell me something I didn't know
>>35582>wrongYou are fake news
>>35582well that's just like your opinion man.
>>35581*blushes, cuz doesn't know how to handle flattery*
>>35582As an attachment, yes. I just meant the crossbow in general.
>>35585i head off to the bazaar.
>>35586Looking for anything in particular?
>>35587Anything that can get 2 men, a minotaur, a smol hoers, and a dwarf/elf to LEO
>>35588Call it, they've got mundane items coming out of the gills. Its magic stuff they're short on.
>>35589Law Enforcement Officer?
>>35582It could be built into the bracer, like Guts's bow (he doesn't have an arm inside that thing; it's just all mechanical). His bow, in canon, would only fire 30-40~ feet, but it saved him countless times when he was getting charged by a hoard of monsters.
>>35586I thought the bazaar was kill after the Drow left?
>>35583Sighs... wondering if there was anything to defend...
I just wanted my waifu to be best waifu... >>35591>no arm>mechanicalYou just gave me an idea.
>>35591No the bazaar is still active, but they're not getting swank-ass items in since no drow.
>>35590LEO= Low Earth
Is this an earthlike planet? Orbit
In the meantime, where is everyone and what is going on?
>>35591I don't know what Guts is but I'm guessing it's not D&D. Get a proper repeating bow so it can have some degree of range and damage and not be added to that heap of weapons you never use.
>>35589They used dimension door or something mundane I'll bet. Do you know the plane?
>>35594Why? Besides, I've already been to Low Earth Orbit
>>35594LEO
You mean like the Tower?
>>35595Guts is from BASTARD. Its essentially D&D but not quite, but its passable. I'll think on it.
>>35597T-the tower can go full Saturn V?
Also, can Torc get some skills/feats/stat upgrades because lvl or????
>>35598We have a holodeck where you can train to get feats
>>35595>it's not D&DThis is not D&D: it's mixed nuts.
And she'll definitely use it if she can load it with anti-magick tracking bolts
>Wizard/monster would have to fish every single hooked projectile out of their flesh before they can use any magick> heap of weapons you never useWhich ones? She's got a sword, knives, and a chain. I guess there's that composite bow, but I really only wanted a crossbow in the first place.
>I don't know what Guts isGuts is from Berserk: one of my favorite manga.
>>35600>Wizard/monster is disabled because of shot from small arm crossbowI don't think that's how it works
>>35601Is Thez not good enough for you? Why you gotta make her look like other girls?
>>35598I had hinted at it back when Trump wanted some levels in space-marine,....
>>35601"I dunno about the Wendy's outfit, but Raven and Zelda are hawt."
>leash/rope"THIS"
>>35602Yeah, I have to agree, that's a bit of a stretch. Dimeterium is an otherwise unknown ore in
this world. It will take alot of trial and error to make stuff like insta-no-magic arrows.
>>35604As long as it goes Apollo 11 and not Apollo 1 I'm will be happy.
Did Torc ever get telescope mirrors?
>>35600>This is not D&D: it's mixed nuts.this.
>>35601>pics relatedfor infernuis.
>>35603why you gotta fuck trollestia when you have tracy?
>>35604Wait. We can get dog leashes?
>>35601Pls. Pick up second dog leash. Strong. Very strong. Like a steel chain or tough leather
>>35601Remember in the Witcher III, when Dikstra slipped a dimerterium ring onto Philippa's toe while she was in owl form, so she couldn't change back?Dimerterium nerfs the crap out of mages: they can't do shit if they're touching it. By far one of the best materials in the game (and one of the most expensive).
>>35608Plz no hurt my precious mage
>>35606>why you gotta fuck trollestia when you have tracy?In retrospect not one of my smartest moves
>>35608Yeah, we need to preserve some balance and fairness, so no silver bullets
>>35604"me glad me picked out something you liked."
>>35611Oh god, If thats my fucking alternative I'll take Tracy fucking up Torc's haggis anyday
>>35615You keep your haggis away from my waifu
>>35614Um... Can I get the girdle and Suigoto from Thez? Also, can I get a listing of Suigito's stats and abilities?
>>35616Actually, considering haggis is guts, with some blood, Tracy should probally eat haggis to help curve her thirst for blood and guts
>>35617+3 base attack, +7 on sunder attempts
Mythrium (hardness 25).
Shaped like a Bokken, with a jagged (cutting, but crude) edge on the backside of the (blunt) 'blade'.
>>35618>haggis prevails"Is there more haggis?" Darkie pokes his head in.
>>35618Are we talking literal haggis or metaphorical haggis here?
>>35619What is the damage die?
>>356201d8 (with bastard sword rules for 1 or 2 hands)
>>35620Yes
>>35619GM, do I get to pick any feats or skills for Torc because leveling up or am I wasting my time asking?
>>35609Ikr. I used the bombs every time I had to fight a construct or elemental. Works like a charm. The only annoying part is that you can't cast signs while you're in the cloud, but it's worth it if you know how to roll properly.
>>35612>no silver bulletsWhat if we need to fight werewolfs? Or vampiric werewolfs? Or vampiric werewolfs with class levels? Or vampiric werewolf NPCs with more levels than us? Or swarms of epic-level wolfpires? I'd like to have some silver bullets.
>balance and fairnessTo Tartarus with that Bolshevik nonsense. Mages could go for some buttdevestation anyway.
It wouldn't work unless they're touching the metal anyway, unless you managed to make a splash-weapon/bomb that could scatter shavings in the air.
>>35622Normally, only on level up. However, cuz holodeck you can work on and develop them whenever
>>35623>What if we need to fight werewolfs? Or vampiric werewolfs? Or vampiric werewolfs with class levels? Or vampiric werewolf NPCs with more levels than us?Then use the shit loads of other haxxor GM gave you. If that's difficult, then get creative
>>35624"hey thez uh do you still have those arms?"
>>35623That second pic was from /qa/, in reference to the /mlpol/ merge, btw.
>>35629No, I remember it. I remember...
>>35628"you know me wasn't in me right mind then, me sorry me gave them back."
>>35625If it's too easy, just up the difficulty.
Why do you care so much about "balance" anyway? Weren't you complaining about mages being OP just last week?
>>35632Newb question, what does OP mean in this context? Its obv. not Original Poster
>>35632It's far more difficult to craft things right than you appreciate. It's very easy to break a game with something being off kilter. The D&D rules are fine tuned for the best play, and deviating from them creates risk of making things too easy, too difficult, or unfair
>>35637I'm arguing for why it shouldn't deviate too drastically
>>35636I'm not convinced of this. There are an exceptional number of details that I get the impression were half-assed or ill-conceived.
>>35638more rules don't necessarily make a better story.
>>35639>>35640Then deviate from those details. But just tossing in more shit doesn't necessarily make anything better either
>>35636>break a game>Dimerterium boltsHow is that a game-breaker? It'd mostly just be useful to stop monsters from using annoying spell-like abilities easily, or to nerf a mage long enough to slash him before he can fish the bolt out, it wouldn't do shit to a melee fighter or a large monster.
>Muh D&DThis isn't D&D.
>>35641as long as we have gm to sort it all out,i'm not to worried.
>Torc's faggot leans back as everyone os debating about D&D rules
>Remembers killing Klefka with a well thought out meme and a bit of luck
I'm fucking glad
>>35645Fug, I didn't finish
I'm glad we stray from D&D rules
>>35646>>35645That was the Implosion Spell. It's in the D&D list. You should read the wizard spell list sometime
>>35647Don't ruin my fucking fun
>>35640This, desu…
>>35641>tossing in more shit doesn't necessarily make anything betterWhy not? More shit to play with = more fun.
>>35649>>35647No. He should only use memes. The memes count as arcane preparation.
>>35651>should only use memes.he should do whichever one he wants.
http://www.dandwiki.com/wiki/SRD:Sorcerer/Wizard_Spell_ListGM, will you accept this?
If so, what lvl
srry I always forget and schools of magic?
>>35652The memes are what make it fun. Like when he used Recreational Nuke to finish Kefka.
>>35653>I always forgetThis is another reason to use moar memes.
>>35654yeah you're right that was pretty funny.
>>35642Can Darkie give an overview of the past party - his party?
>>35656This RPG needs moar memes. I feel like the players have rulecucked themselves a little bit and forgotten to shitpost.
Is there a place outside the stables that Tracy can semi-safely take her birds? It can't be healthy for them to be cooped-up in there.
Also, their official names are Sam and Bunny, because reasons.
>>35656Can you post Infernius's Character sheet?
>>35660You are right next to a forest in a mountain range
>>35662Awww, now I want to build a Flesh Golem..>>35663They're as big as elephants, you know.
>>35659>needs more shitpostingA dial appears infront of Torcuil labeled "OP SHITPOSTING POWERS." It is currently set to "calm, you can't be that weird." Torc turns it to "THIS TRAIN HAS NO BRAKES"
Remember, you unleashed this evil...
I can't wait to have my PC back this week. Then my shitposting can be better >>35664What's your point? If you can't take them outside, you can't, and if you can, then you can
>>35666OH NOW YOU TURN THE TRIPS BACK ON
>>35661yea.
infernuis Preston
CG
HD 15d8 + 60
Str=21/38 +5/+14
Dex=9 -1
Con=18 +4
Intelligence=10 0
Wis 13 +1
Cha 16 +3
ac 17
hp 135
Fort Refl Will
+10 +5 +10
Armor
the bracers of armor +4
Weapon(s)
Zweihander(fire)
Spell like abilites
"Uatchit"(girl) (ooh-wad-jit) and "Shoo-fly".
"burn" flaming sword. "shush" to turn off
Feats
>Dodge>battle leader(gets a banner) gives +1 to cohorts>Soul-Mate>Favored of Deity>Leadership 25>Two-Weapon Fighting psionic powers
catfall
farhand
Precognition, Defensive
inventory
the Infernal Arms of Relentless Might. +12 str,
(wedding)Regen ring(minotuar horn) ,
belt +5 str
gloves of sparking
8 grenades
cleric domains
natsoc
memes
truth
skills
14 craft(blacksmithing)
10 knowledge(religion)
10 Concentration
3 knowledge(history)
6 Heal
4 intimidation
2 tracking
>>35664fucking do it!,please?>>35666>>35664awww he's got a point though you gotta take em outside sometime
>>35663It's an idea though.
She just wants to take them out a bit. They need to be properly trained too.
*gives a little bit of fried fiend to each bird as special treat*
>>35666quad-nerfing meanieI meant like a balcony or something. Somewhere high-up where they can get some fresh air look down at the world.
>>35667Ikr
>>35668I want to build all kinds of constructs.Is there a facility in the shop that assembles constructs?
>>35668Don't you have at least one level in Wilder
>PrestonWait. Your character has a surname?
>>35672yea to both questions(its psion)
>>35674"uatchit,we are going bear hunting."
>>35670>>35667It's not back on, there's just a feature in the code that means that posts from moderator logins still receive trip or quad numbers
>>35675But did you pick up the cosplay items first?
>Torc is the only one without a mount or waifu>This would be fine, but when everyone else is adventuring with theirs I get boredWelp, I guess Torc decides to investigate that one place him and Thez ended up
>>35680This
>>35681>Torc is the only one without a mount or waifuDude. Are you shitting me. Have you LOOKED at the d&d wiki entry for the Celestial Charger?
*Face Palms*
>>35658Yes
>>35659This
>>35664You're not a wizard
>>35668Cuz Y?
>>35670Constructs are complicated. There are machines that build the components of constructs, but no "Insta-golem" machines.
>>35681I've been envying that Horse for a long time. If you're not going to use her then can I have her?
>>35686Me playing Torc. I honestly don't even know what I'm doing 420% of the time
>>35684As long as your waifu doesn't kill her first
Honestly, I never wanted a Torc/Troll relationship, but you guys layed the shit down so I tried and now regret it.
>>35689maybe gm will let you have
Ponk >>35690Waifus are Drama. But Goddamn I'd love a Celestial Charger as a Paladin's mount
>>35689>As Long as your waifu doesn't kill her firstAdmittedly that's a bit of a hurdle to overcome
*Puts anti-magick daggers in pouch*
Btw, how big are the stables? It has dividers, but how many spaces?
>>35689Care to help get rid of her?
>>35691Oh God. If you think Trollestia is pure evil (and she is) Ponk will be a billion times worse
>>35693I never approved the anti-magic daggers, I just said that daggers were available, and that was directed mostly at Trump, cuz he doesn't have any.
>>35696hey i want to go weapon shopping now.
>>35696Okay..
Can she still make some hooked punching daggers?
>>35697I want to raid Cardishore asap. I'm a Thief, but I haven't stolen anything yet.
>>35662>>35695Torc should create his own waifu. It'd be a breakthrough in NEET-Wizard innovation.
>>35699>ASAPOne does not simply raid Cardishore. That's enemy territory and unlike last time they know who you are
>>35702You'll get more weapons in the tower
>>35703i bet they have some super high quality stuff though.
>>35702>do they have weapons They'd better freaking still have her knives, or people are going to get hurt really badly.
>>35701>they know who you are>DisguiseI feel like a challenge.
>>35696Um.... Any chance I can get Trollestia as a Paladin's Mount? I've noticed she has very strict motivation requirements, where any request has to be framed through one of two things that she cares about (reducing suffering, and sowing discord) but once you have one or both of those, she'll do almost anything to that end
>>35705>>35706ill help for some dope ass weapons and maybr torc could find a robo pinkie pie there.
>>35706Just take Trumpaladin with you...
I want to pose as setting up a reality TV series
>>35708It's not a shopping mall. It's an enemy stronghold and an allegorical representation of social media
>>35708>steampunk robo-pinkie pieJust when I thought this couldn't get better
>>35705Now you're talking.
>>35703>You'll get more weapons in the towerI still want to steal things! I didn't play a rogue to get everything fair and square.
>>35713What is there to steal? I think you are not understanding what this location is like
>>35712Oh thats just fucking cold as ice m8
>>35711>Steam-PonkFund it.
Try talking to the gnomes about it.
>>35717ill help you in cardishore.
>>35717THIS
Krenshall is Japan in this game. It has Hitech stuff. You want stuff, go there. Cardishore is Facebook. It has nothing but soulless drones.
>>35718See
>>35719Cardishore is basically morodor, more so than the Court City. there's nothing of value there, but much evil
>>35719Has Torc been to Krenshall before? Where is it?
Help, plz I confused.
>>35717>>35718>invests 2 bitcoin >>35720im sure they confiscated some nice weapons, and plus i suspect (((they have something vaulable there.
>>35709Trumpaldin would have to be lawful and wait in line though...
He could still come though., She'll just do her thing separately.
>>35714>What is there to steal?EVERYTHING! Weapons, clothes, body parts, wonderous items money. Literally anything she can get away with, she'll take.
>>35721It's only been visited by Tracy and Trumpaladin and only briefly. But they will craft anything for you with money
>>35723>Wait in lineKek. I'm much too important for that. I'll be making my own reality TV series, commercials, WWE fights, and so forth
>>35724I'm assuming its the red one.
Torc needs a ride...
>>35727"uh c-can i be a part of that?"
>>35729>Torc needs a horse to get a horse>>35730He can't teleport somewhere he hasn't been..
Can he?
>mount spellThat'll work
>>35731Oh you'd dominate in Cardishore
>>35732RIDE. TROLLESTIA! They will be impressed that you have a pretty Unicorn! They were impressed when I had Fae the last time we were there
>>35733*excited minotuar noises*
"will you be my manager?"
>>35735Oh My God we have our story. We are infiltrating the fuck out of Cardishore
"Hell yes I will be. You ready to beat the shit out of a bunch of people?"
>>35734>Implying my shitposting powers won't be enough to impress themNo, no Trollestia....
Also, where the hell is GM?
>>35736"Infernuis ready to open up a can of Whoop-Ass"
>>35734Why would he ride something when he's on a quest to assemble the parts to replace it? That's both insensitive and counter-intuitive.
>>35737If you fail, you can use your pocket spaghetti defense system
>Where is GMGM is kill
>No TrollestiaYour neglect of your literal godtier mount makes me sad
>>35738"Only one can?"
>>35739Krenshall is the better location for sex robots, Desu
>>35741My new goal is to piss you off by ignoring Trollestia as much as I can