Welcome back to the RP thread.
Darkemeter is now a party asset. Tracy tends dutifully to her little-giant birdies, Infernius seeks to get closer to Hitler, Trump just wants a dagger or something, Torcuil is,... doing stuff? Thez tries her best to stay upbeat and focus on nice things. Lenos has been ahem not-seen since Kiynen the lady-dragon showed up, and for the moment nothing grandiose is happening, which is good cuz reasons.
This is a 3.5ed (ish, its off the wall) continuous RP thread/game, if you're seeing it for the first time. Anyone and everyone is welcome. Speaking of which, Taylor Swift and Sad Alex haven't been seen for a minute. Norfilly's situation is difficult to align with, and Yak Lee has taken to Thez' previous position of liberally and regularly beating the participants of Fight Club. I think that's everyone,....
889 replies and 137 files omitted.
>>36442>>36441Torc gets to go on a solo adventure.
I want to do
something.
>>36447Entirely by yourself. You've done a lot of those. Why you doing this one that is both dangerous and that everyone else wants to do?
>>36445BTW, you said something about a boss,....
>>36449Can I'z call Fae and ask her the results of the Seige engine testing? Like how many people it takes to man them and so forth?
>>36449Ah yes, I'll send you a message
>>36446"me know feel,can me help cheer you up in some way?"
>>36454I want to go it alone just to test the water and gather info. And Tracy want to get in without waiting in line this time.
>>36456oh just say your gonna scout then.
>>36455Eyes tear up. "You already have." Long, lengthy hug.
>>36456All it takes is one high level opposing rogue or some spell we don't know about, Tracy is dead and she loses her stuff. No one even knows she's gone, so no one will even think to get it or revive her
>>36458"me excited to start life with you, me want to shield you from all pain."
>>36443As a war-hoers, her ground-speed is 100, right?
Actually, change that disguise to a deer.
>>36465I want to go faster in hybrid form..
Fug it. Doe is best disguise. Doesn't attract attention, and less likely to get shot than a buck.
Well if Tracy's faggot us going to try to take up GM's limited time by making him map out an adventure specifically for him on a weeknight, then damn it, I'm going to do something too.
Trumpaladin goes to the Tavern (possibly the wicket where Thez is?)
Actually, make it the widget
>>36466A deer is a medium sized creature. You're claiming to be using a large class form. Wrong size class. You're also claiming a speed of 100 thanks to haxxor shoes. But deer, like horses, only have half that speed. Nothing is going to be going 100 and not stick out like a sore thumb. And GM has also said the modified forms do not easily disguise
>>36468>acting like I've never done this beforeShe's not turning into a deer, she's using the glasses to disguise herself as one.
Also, there aren't any penalties on Hide or Move Silently checks due to speed: her stealth is not impaired. She's just moving along the side of the path as to not attract unwanted attention.
Sure, she might look like an unusually big deer, at a glance, but 4 ranks+10 from the glasses is easy enough to fool most casual onlookers, especially since the spell can make her look a whole foot shorter.
Regardless, she should get there fine.
>>36469Actually, I'd better pull up my sheet and get a look at those ranks again,
because I keep forgetting. She has at least 4 in Disguise though.
>>36462"You're off to a good start," she admits grudgingly.
"Yer still an oaf tho" she says clutching him tightly.
>>36459If it's that important to you, I'll delay the trip, but I still want her to go on recon by herself at one point.
Tracy dissects her new corpse in her room, while reading a copy of
Hags Illustrated. Studying the specimen
This is my way of saying I'm setting her to grind on Knowledge Arcana:
she's learning about monsters. She preserves the hands and the head, and she later gets to work on another True strike scroll.
After that, she takes one of the Nithing Poles from in front of the Stables, and ties it to her bag.
>>36476Do those things harm good creatures just by being near them? What do they do exactly?
>>36476*feeds birdies*
>>36477The area around the Skull, wherever it goes, is treated as if it had Unhallow cast on it (minus the cool area spells), and thereby also functions as Magic Circle Against Good. In a sense, anywhere the skull goes is considered to be Unholy ground. Idk how Magixc Circle Against X even works in this game though, because Tracy should've had more than several reasons to have a problem with goddamn unicorn living in the stables.
In Nordic and Scandinavian tradition, planting a Nithing outside is a gesture to wish doom upon a household, usually planted as a decree of revenge for high crimes that caused suffering upon one's clan or family. In nordic folklore, the practice invokes a powerful runic curse that inflicts mortal illness or even death upon a person and/or their family, specified by the wicked runes carved on the pole. In modern times, it's very, very occasionally used as an expression of absolute vendetta and loathing upon a person. Vikings were incredibly vengeful people...
>>36478That is exactly what I want.
I wonder if there are any monster-hunting contracts around town..
>>36479>Tracy should've had more than several reasons to have a problem with goddamn unicorn living in the stablesKek! What are these reasons exactly? I get that in their first encounter Trollestia was pissed that Tracy killed some horses and she was bitchy about it, and then Tracy's efforts at stabbing were cut from her. And then there was a period of time when Trumpaladin seemed more interested in Trollestia than in Tracy romantically. There's also the whole had sex with him thing. But did I miss anything? Trollestia has been a primary caretaker of the birds and has been a pretty good babysitter.
Shouldn't Tracy plant a pole in the stable just opposite Troll that stares directly at her?
Also, is there any place Tracy can keep her birds other than the stables? I've been asking this for a while now.
>>36481A long time ago, GM said they could perch directly on the tower
>>36480>miss anythingI'd rather not be a metafag so I won't just say her motive, but she has at least 3 more reasons. I don't have the charting anymore, so I can't just list her feelings off the bat anymore, although I still do a bit of math out of habit.
>babysitterThat is exactly the opposite of what she wanted.
>>36482Idk what it looks like, but it'd be better for them to have a place in a more open area.
Tracy walks out into the woods to vent stress by collecting jibbernigger skulls.
>>36483Why not metafag? No one is ever going to discover her motives in game play. You've already said she isn't rational, and there's not really a way of figuring her out. So why not entertain me and give the reasons why the condemned unicorn is condemned? After all, it's only proper to read out the charges against the accused before the execution
>>36486Scratch that
>>36485Tracy takes it to herself to build a nest on the tower's balcony for her birds, so they can look down at the Port from their perch.
>>36487>Why not metafag?Because it's gay, and it detract from dialogue the characters could've had other wise.
Also, now that I threw-out the booklet, it's not as easy for me.
>give the reasons why the condemned unicorn is condemnedBecause he FUGGED HER!
*goes out into the woods to collect branches*
>>36492>'Building an open nest for my birds, so they won't be cooled-up like chikuns'>>36495>'I'll see about that later.'*Moves deep into the woods*
>>36497What? She's good with woodworking
Tracy is in the woods, by the tall tree where she found the Jew gold.
>>36481I told you a long time ago. There's the holodeck, and you can always take them outside. The tower has all gravity on the outside. If you wanted, you could almost arrange a mini-maze in the strip-mall section to take them on walks and such, and that would only take up one floor.
>>36510Why lurk ehen you can shitpost?
>>36508I didn't realize it was that sophisticated. I'll have her try that.
>>36511Work 'n shit.
Also laziness.
>>36503>>36486Do jibberniggers only come out at night, or could she coax them out by burning down their tree?
>>36508Torc walks out of the inn after a nap and some food.
What he find?
>>36514Regardless, Tracy sets the tree on fire just because.
>>36517The only place to find those is up Infernius' ass
>>36519thats a funny way to spell torculi
>>36514>>36516Is this a way of taking out frustration for when Trumpaladin recommended she ask Slovenia for help building a nest, which offended her for some reason?
>>36521Tracy's faggot is just feeling CE tonight.
>>36520That a strange way to spell trumpaladin
>>36523Was user banned for this post? Check the ban list to find out!
\r
>>36524I swear to Hitler if you fucking ban me
>>36526Then you'll be unable to post
>>36522Well if you're looking to do evil things and have fun in the process I can think of a CR13 monster right now
>>36525This
>>36527>inb4 GM is ban>>36515A sprawling array of workshops. Gnomes wander about, some with clip-boards, others are wearing glasses. They mutter to themselves and to one another constantly without any spacing or punctuation. Still others have pencils behind their heads.
>>36529I wasn't really expectng gnomes...
Torc begins to walk around, lookin for a shop that would suit his needs.
Do I have permision to continue with my stupid ass idea? >>36528>CR 13 monsterThe unicorn? Wanna do it now?
>>36532>Faggot is legit and honestly sad for killing this NPCUh... I don't know how Tracy reasons but it's already been a while since the pact was made. The Unicorn's master is out of town, and both Thez and Infernius are out of the tower, so if you're going to murder an NPC...
>>36533He is not her fucking master
>>36533>masterStop making shit up.
>>36533>he Unicorn's master is out of town, and both Thez and Infernius are out of the tower, so if you're going to murder an NPC…He won't (meta) get cold feet will he? he'll actually do it?
>>36536>>36534Unicorns don't have masters. They're worse than cats in that regard (at least cats sometimes
pretend to be domesticated).
>>36534well, Torcuil isn't the last guy to fuck her
>I still feel sorry for her>>36536Kek
>>36535That's definitely the sort of thing that should have in-character dialogue
>>36537I'll figure out how to break her
>>36539Pretty sure the coldfeet was in reference to GM letting Troll die
>>36539>should have in-character dialogueOkay then...
>'Flashy... Soon...'>>36540No, it was to see if Trump's faggot would get any dumb ideas.
>>36543*Trumpaladin sets down his glass*
>"............" Trumpaladin realizes he should head back to the tower...
He calls Fae, and they speed off
>>36549>"If you need me to">>36530What are his needs exactly?
>>36552Trumpaladin speeds back on Fae. Fae can certainly sense that he is uncomfortable, but recieves nothing more than an "I don't want to talk about it..."
>>36552>"Are you sure she must die? Maybe she can pay you back in some way? Do something for you? Anything else?" >>36553>'Kill the troll, Flashy.'Tracy leaves her nithing in its spot in the forest, and returns to the tower.
She takes her birds to another room, then returns to hers to fit her leather armor.
>'You have the Rope and those cuffs, right?' >>36557Trumpadin arrives in the Tower. He dismisses Fae, apologizing to her for he is not sure what, and then goes to the shrine
>"I have both, Tracy. Please though, there is one thing I must do first" Before going to do the deed… Trumpaladin went to the shrine of Elway in the tower. He knew he needed to consult first…
Speaketh Trumpaladin: Paladins must maintain a code of conduct to stay in favor with their god
What would Elway require?
John Elway takes many forms, the majority of which are so Football it would cause the average person's eyeballs to melt out of their sockets and pool on the floor, then bubbling through the floorboards and dripping down onto the neighbors in the apartment below, who would then become timber wolves.
He appeared in the form of a tall horse, cast in the image of Sleipnir, the eight legged horse ridden by the Norse god Loki. His long flowing mane glows bright orange and dances like the fires of pure Football. His coat is pure and white as the rocky mountain snow, a snow like the crystallized tears of the Oakland Raiders when they realize that they shall never be truly football
Well, first and foremost you must be Football. This is pretty important.
Elway does not expect you to be 100% football, that would be unreasonable.
Only Elway himself can be 100% football.
However, a minimum level of at least 65% football would be the floor.
Ideally you should try to remain between 75-80% football.
There was once a disciple who attained levels of I think 93% football, and that proved too much for his fragile mortal body to take
he discorporated into football and became part of the river of football that encircles the Tree of Life, which is also a football
so basically, I'd aim for like 70% football on an average day. if you feel like it's too much of a strain, you can ease back, but don't drop below 65% or Elway can't materialize.
The second thing to take into account is that you must be true to the path of football at all times.
many agents of football, though well meaning, are led astray by the path of false football. You must be wary, for it is easy to fall into the trap of false football.
the Oakland Raiders are false football most foul
you must never heed their words
they may appear to you in disguise, and you must be wary of their tricks
the same goes for the Seattle Seahawks, although their tactics are different.
they may appear to you in the guise of Peyton Manning, or even Dan Reeves. I think I saw one of them pull of a Terrel Davis impersonation at one point.
However, do not be deceived.
if in doubt, you must ask them to become Football, for only true Football can become Football.
if they cannot become Football, they were never truly Football.
Hence, false football.
Football.
And now, for the big question
If, lets say, you see this Unicorn and she's smoking hot, but this psycho succubus earth pony forces you into a relationship and later you get engaged with her, and you later promise a coworker not to have sex with the unicorn because it's sort of his, but then he pisses you off, and you get an opportunity to have sex with the unicorn so you fornicate with her, but your psycho fiance is absolutely pissed, so she forces you into an agreement to kill the unicorn, is eating the flesh or making the unicorn's hide into a jacket a step too far?
Well, when I was a young Elway, perhaps only about 71% football myself, I had a similar situation. In one of the infinite timelines in which I attempted to travel back into the past and assume the form of Dan Reeves so that I might impregnate Rainbow Dash and father myself and become Football for all time, I accidentally tapped into the power of pure Football and made a seismic ejaculatory field goal right inside Rainbow Dash, who oddly enough was a unicorn in that timeline. Needless to say she did not survive. In accordance with what I like to imagine her dying wishes might very well have been, I removed her hide and fashioned it into a technicolor dreamcoat of pure Football, and emblazoned upon it the logo of the Denver Broncos, so that wherever I may go, the emblem of True Football would shine throughout the heavens, forevermore.
When later I encountered the pegasus Rainbow Dash in another timeline, it was that very jacket with which I was able to initiate the conversation that led to my becoming Dan Reeves and creating Football. I believe you should know the rest of the story.
So, in summation: yes, making a jacket should be fine.
Thank you Elway. Praise be
Take, and be Football my child
in fact I may add that segment into the Great Manual of Football, which is a guide for Paladins of Football to become more Football in the ways of Football.
And with that, Trumpaladin left the shrine, and went on his way to Tracy
>>36562What did he mean by this?
>Needless to say she did not survive. In accordance with what I like to imagine her dying wishes might very well have been, I removed her hide and fashioned it into a technicolor dreamcoat of pure Football>So, in summation: yes, making a jacket should be fine.So it's okay? We can go leatherface on her plot?
*Listens in on glorious prayer, from a non-vaporizing distance*
>>36563I feel you bro...
>>36561After having spoken to his Patron, Trumpaladin takes a moment to take in what he has heard.
He gets back up, and uses his detect evil to find and go to Pony
"Tracy... I think I am ready. I want you to know that I do not want to do this. I
really do not want to do this at all. But yet I will do this. I will do this, because I love you, and I want you to forgive me"
>>36566"I love you too, Flashy."
*puts tower sheild and Lance in bag*
*adds crossbolts to gauntlet*
>>36563>>36565Well, my Patron is a meme god based upon this series of shitposts made up by a guy who I'm friends with on Discord. He's a super talented bullshitter so I figured I may as well involve him in this because I like his work>>36567*hugs pony*
"How do you want to do this, exactly? I had this magazine that says a lot about the demi-god unicorns which I'd look at for all the pictures of the mares in it. I mean, I used to look at it. Used to. Anyways, I saw that it had quite a bit of information on these creatures. I don't think she can teleport outside of her forest, and even then, only once a day.
What's your strategy, little pony?"
>>36569>"I don't know if she's able to teleport out of the stables. We're outside of her forest. If she does get out, well, I can ride you. We could try to use the cuffs, but I can do a hell of a lot of damage to her with my sword.Well, in the past GM has let us do it in a single die roll while doing bullshit between each other, really it should require at barte minimum a full grapple. That would be an attack of opportunity (she might fail, because my AC is insane) followed by an opposed grapple check. But she'd probably win a grapple check, because she has a size category advantage.I'll probably give them eventually....*places cuffs in pocket of holding*
>>36562What the fuck is this?
Also Sleipnir is the horse Loki gave birth to for Odin to ride, not Loki's war horse
>>36573Loki
In his own fucked up way was the original horsefuker
>>36572>>36573>Implying Loki didn't take back the horse he gave birth to to ride himself, or didn't ride him first>>36573GM did say explicitly that Trollestia cannot teleport when I asked a few weeks ago.
>>36576He didn't ride it. It would've been awkward.
>>36577More awkward than a male human-shaped God turning into a mare and being fucked by a stallion?
>>36578Well, yeah, because the awkwardness would've been cumulative, imo..
>>36579I mean, he didn't really intend to get pregnant. He was just trying to distract the stallion, but he was really fast.. That had to be embarrassing...
>>36581It was the opposite, but sure.
>ITT 2 faggots discuss the logistics of a Norse Trickster God becoming a mare, and then giving birth to a 8-legged horse
*yawns tiredly*
Goodnight, faggots.
>when it's late December but your apartment has only heat-pump and air conditioning settings so they set it to heat-pump, but the weather becomes hot again, and so now it's 77 fucking degrees inside your apartment. And this has happened every single December you've lived here. Every single December
>>36586*dies of heat exhaustion*
I want a good fight out of the poor girl when she goes...
>>36567*Adds a second Lance to the bag*
>>36591*Makes armor-spikes out of Hydra teeth just because*
>>36569>>36570>plotting to kill a particularly significant unicorn cuz reasons>Elway approvesDidn't Trump give the others shit over going right wing safety squad on a giant commie cesspit?
>>36594Didn't mean to spoiler the whole thing.. just parts.
>>36593Hey. 1. Commie nations tend to have 20% or fewer actual communists, with the rest being oppressed victims of leftist totalitarianism who long for freedom, tradition, and the nation. 2. Infidels must be given a chance to renounce their previous convictions and to follow the true path of America, Capitalism, and Football before they are put to the sword. 3. We still don't have any miners for that mine because all the laborers were killed
DO YOU HAVE A WAY OUT OF KILLING HER that will leave Tracy satisfied
>>36594>eating body and wearing skinI take it back...
\r
>>36593>particularly significant unicornCould you tell me why she is important so I can consider my path of domestic relations? I promise not to meta fag, +Torc hasn't been involved yet so he could stll stop this...>Elway approvesCan we get the
TEN COMMANDMENTS OF FOOTBALL so we don't have to guess what pleases Elway?
>>36597>inb4 Trumpaladin is the Moses of FootballAnd why would I go ahead and spoiler?
>>36597Here's the rule page from /sp/
No he can't get involved. He's in Krenshall and he has no idea Troll is in danger. No meta-fagging in the way of Trump and Tracy's secret covenantThe Entertron exists, if you want to give her another go. >>36598>MosesFeels like more of a clerical archetype, desu.
>>36599>Entertronlol no
>>36597>so we don't have to guessI crafted two Phylacteries of Faithfulness for a reason.. They're supposed to warn you before you do anything against your alignment...
>>36596>take it backIt's too late: Lord Elway has spoken. You must strip the raw-hide of the unicorn, and present the jacket to the shrine as an offering.
>>36604Infernius deserves a spiritual experience more...
>>36605Oh fuck off. I've been doing my due diligence to talk about football wherever possible, to spread it and so forth. I've given freaking philosophical analyses of football, what it is, and it's roll on society, and I haven't heard any of the like from you
>>36606He still deserves it though.
>>36605And there's also the fact that I took the effort to contact him, set up a dialogue, get all of that, and do it all at 3am the night before I had an exam.\r
>>36608>ingrateI didn't say I didn't appreciate it. I just said that Infernius deserves the same, especially since he's been trying so hard to get something like that.
>>36609I saw that "more"...mlpol's own Atlas is an actual national socialist, and he has a pretty funny sarcastic attitude that would make a great Hitlrr or Rockwell character. He's joined in RPG's before so maybe he'll be interested. He works all the time but he's free a few hours late at night every now and then, so maybe I can ask him to provide something, if we can get a few questions for Infernius to ask him
>>36610Atlas was the first guy who came to mind too.
>>36598Fine, steamponk his going full steam ahead then.
>>36615Actually... Nazis are the reason anyone got to space. Great question for Hitler
>>36614SoonBTW for reasons, how tall his Tracy in the game?
>>36616>how tall his Tracy in the game?Gosh, idk anymore... Four feet? She goes about alternating between bipedal and quadrupedal though..
>>36617>4 feetThanks, that satisfys my autism for now
>>36620Are Thez and Tracy that small though? That's super small
>>36621gm made this, so i think its cannon. and if thez is that smol thats super cute.
I don't like the math for Steamponk.
I assumed a volume of 0.75m^3
At densitys of the metals I assumed (gold at 19300kg per cubic meter, and bronze at 7700kg) We are looking at a hoers that weighs over 100 US tons. (Distribution being 1 part gold per 2 parts bronze)
>TLDR, steamponk needs to lay off the cupcakes
>>36623That's not the way to do it. Just take the weight and density of pony, and then adjust it to the density of metal, maybe subtract from that number any way the robot is leaner
>>36621>>36622Thez is an Elf/Dwarf: she's just a bit bigger than 4 feet.
She just seems a lot bigger to us, because of her personality.
>>36623Ponk's body is mostly air in the first place.
>>36624Okay, major fuck up in my math.
Its 9.5 tons, but original weight doesn't matter just the volume. And if you can get me the volume of a poner I would be glad to use it.
>>36625I'm sorry best pony >>36626she can fit in infernuis' pocket.
>>36628Horses aren't solid cubes so that's not quite the way to go about it. A few years ago I calculated out the size of the little ponies with a few friends in college. We determined they were approximately the size of human females, but smaller. So maybe something like 100 pounds. I figured for this game that Tracy is about 80 pounds. I can't find the density of horses, but I suspect it's a little less than the density of water. Bronze is 8.7 times the density of water. So a solid bronze Tracy statue is something like 720 pounds. I seriously doubt a pony robot would be solid metal though
>>36623>Steamponk>BronzeBrass is the only acceptable material for steampunk beings.
Did a couple posts get deleted just now?
>>36636
>>36635
>>36634
>>36633
>>36632
Wtf?
>>36638Calm your autism. We don't need every flame war that errupts
>>36639[disapproving nerd noises]
>>36642He does it to me all the time too...
>>36643Does he fucking permaban you from all boards then reject your appeal?
>>36652Yes, GM is kill. He has not been seen since that post many hours ago. He probably has meat space stiuff. I know I had to move today then so family stuff
and be asked by my dad about the job search...\r
>>36653I'll be les kill tomorrow
And I'll bake a new bread