/vx/ - Videogames and Paranormal

Hi overboard, sorry about the >rape.

So, apparently Torc needs to do somethin (according to Trump). But what the hell is it?

>>29896 →
Get a shovel and a Gold prospector's shaker box!

>>29902
Reeee! You made it this time

>>29899 →
She can only barely pick-up non-knife objects.
"Tries to pic-up silver spoon*
*slips*
Her knife-wielding ability is an uncanny trait.

>>29903
That was me replying to your smart ass remark with a reference to my earlier smart ass remark to balance it out

>>29905
But don't Earth Ponies have dexterous hooves? In any event, 19 dexterity ought to do something

She could also bring in a husbands to help, you know

>>29906
Now my brain hurts,
I guess Torc enjoys having nothing to do...

Nah that would be borring.
GM, gib drama

>>29905
So Tracy is in her dungeon right now, tearing up dirt, and collecting everything she can find?
>>29903
Where is Torcuil right now?
Is anyone in the tower ATM?

>>29907
>dexterous hooves
Not really.. Their cartoonish abilities are rather inconsistent. They can always pic up items they're familiar with though.
>>29909
Yes, to give Trump's faggot one less thing to complain about.

>>29909
Because I went back with Tracy, I would have started in the Tower. But a Sparintenar delegation sounds important

>>29909
Nah, he's probally just walkin out of the bar he and Infernius where at last night

>>29909
Btw. We haven't seen that Ogre from the beginning in a long time. Where does he spend his days?

>>29912
Oh yeah... You two were doing that while Tracy and Trumpaladin were playing Space Cowboy

>>29913
That was the leader of the Tree Orcs Infernius enslaved

>>29911
It does sound important. However, being in the tower you do hear some unusual sounds from the stable are, along with Trollestia very clearly and unmistakably saying:
"Um,"

>>29916
Oh shit...
Did they...
Hatch?

>>29916
Oh noes!

"Trollestia? What do you need?"

Oh wait? Is no one in the tower atm?

Oh god, oh god.

Fug this boring shit.
Tracy flies back to the tower like a fiery comet.

Go back to stables.

Fuck yeah I'm gonna corrupt these birds... Into perfect patriots

>>29920
>>29921
>meta gaming this hard

>>29920
But why though? She was clearly intent on searching every inch of the dungeon for buried treasure. I can't imagine why she would divert from that,....

Torc decides to head back to port barry to browse the markets.
Luckly he no longer needs a mount because of polymorph,
DRAGON TIME

>>29923
I'll call her as soon as I have explained the Bill of a Rights and why (half of it) is so sacred to these young creatures

>>29922
Don't you police me on meta-gaming.
I had her sit on those eggs for two weeks, instead of killing commies and whatnot. I'm not about to let her miss this.
>>29923
She wasn't making very much progress picking them one-by-one, so she got bored and gave up.

>>29925
>not starting with the declaration
smh
>>29926
You can meta game better than THAT

>>29926
I'll invite her in as soon as I can't handle it

>>29928
Oh fuck. That's a good point.

>>29928
>*realizes that she forgot to refill the hot water-bottles for the eggs*
"I'm coming, kids!"

>>29930
You'll never be able to complain about me mega-gaming ever again

>>29931
>mega gaming
Is that like mega evolution in pokemon?
>>29927
Would you shoot a dragon wearing a giant kilt?

>>29932
>Would you shoot a dragon wearing a giant kilt?
Idk, probably.

>>29930
I don't think so, I'm inclined she was pretty successful, kept finding piece after piece and was difficult to distract from her task.
>>29932
#megagaming

>>29934
So does Trollestia have anything important for me (or anyone)?

>>29933
Agreed

>>29932
What color dragon?

>>29934
*makes hasty and deliberate efforts to speed the fuck up*

>>29933
Rude
>>29934
>Your Tracy's Cage-ite is reacting with your meta-braclet
>animation
>Your Tracy meta evolved into Meta Faggot
>>29935
Uh, based on his kilt and shit, a dark dark yellow

>>29936
She's getting called in the moment it becomes obvious Trumpaladin doesn't have the animal handling skills to teach these younglings the pledge of allegiance

>>29938
You bastard.. If she misses this, it'll break her heart and mine.

>>29939
Alright, fine. She's getting called in the moment it's confirmed that what is happening is that the eggs are hatching

>>29939
"Holy shit, something in the stables"
Is communicated over empathic link.

>>29941
Hey! I said that would happen after it's known what is happening

>>29941
*sounds of rocket launching, as Tracy speeds towards the stables, spurring herself*

>>29941
And obviously, Trumpaladin goes to Trollestia and the stables

*sonic boom*
*lands outside the stables, like a meteor*
*rushes in*
[worried hoers noises]
"What's wrong?! Are my babies fine?!"

>>29943
I love that fucking sound

>waiting for confirmation that Tor hasn't been shot

>>29946
*beats you to it*
Already there

"Trollestia, what is it?"

T> "Banana?" (more awkward than normal face. A beak pokes through the top of one egg, while the other egg wiggles sideways and rolls on the floor. A shrill sound of "BEEEEEEEEEEP" can be heard issuing from the brokwn egg.

>>29950
*shoves Troll aside and runs right up to egg*
"IT'S HAPPENING!"

>>29950
Approach egg more closely, taking a banana from Trollestia as he approaches. What kind of beep?

>>29951
Alright, Trumpaladin goes to the other egg

*hormonal tears streaming down face*
*room temperature rises rapidly*

>>29954
They're warm blooded. Unnecessary!

>>29955
It's involuntary.

[sobbing steamy pony noises]

>>29952
I dunno, its like a bleat, except avian and giant-sized-infantile.
>>29954
>steam
The egg that's already broken breaks a bit more, and though it goes against all evidence, a bird head peeks out.

>>29958
"Hey little birdie"

>>29937
>I said yellow
>there is actually a yellow dragon
Uhhhh
https://dnd-wiki.org/wiki/Yellow_Dragon_(5e_Monster)

[1d20 = 10]
>>29959
B> Bite

*gasps*
*Stares straight at it, amazes

>>29960
I now see it is homebrew...

You can sacrifice me to kek, I don't care anymore

Trump finds his face completely (though barely) enveloped in the mouth of this wee bird

>>29965
"Tracy..."

Listen GM, I just wanna browse the markets.
Please, I at the very least want a compass

>>29961
>Is too flushed and hormonal to respond like normal
"~Teehee.. he's hungry..." she chuckles deliriously
>>29966
*dumps out a broom-closet's worth of Elephant meat*
*grows to full size*
*begins pre-chewing*

>>29965
Removes self carefully

>>29968
You dumped that out for the dragon

>>29969
She got more
*finishes chewing*
"Come here, birdie.." she whispers softly to the massive fuzzball

*offers Trump Angus Steak*

[1d20 = 5]
>>29967
Is that all? I thought you wanted to go random-magic-item shopping. Thats what the bazaar is btw.
You find lots of compasses.
>>29969
B> Bite
The fallen-over egg begins to crack from strikes.

[1d20 = 17]
>>29972
reflex?

>stomach is slightly bloated with elephant
*pets birdie*
*giggles deliriously*
"So.. ~fluffy...!"

>>29973
Well that too, but at the very least Torc wants a compass
He is gonna start map making so he knows where the hell everything is
>>29975
>elephant
Wut?

>>29976
Rocs eat elephants. Tracy wanted to raise them on a natural diet.
*gently pets bird while holding eye contact*

>>29975
Um... Horses don't have crops. And they can't throw up except with extreme difficulty

>>29976
We have Infernius's map though

>>29977
Oh god no,
If you do what I think you're gonna do...
I'll be back in an hour

>>29978
Uh, horses biologically cannot throw up, at all
And Torc wants his own map with notes and shit

>>29982
You specifically stated she was in Nightmare form. And whatever may be the powers of a mud pony, a Nightmare is more like a normal horse.

>>29984
What the hell is warhorse form? I'm definitely inclined to say THAT can't vomit

I'll back off if you just agree to stop the hiding cannibalism and shit

[1d20 = 19]
>>29984
It doesn't take much insistence to be able to have a face get nommed, which could then be spewed into.
The one on the ground breaks out of the top and grapples Trump's leg.

>>29985
Whatever, just back off and let her have her moment.
[hysterical pony noises]

>>29986
>Someone is on my leg and it isn't Tracy

Well then

*Good thing my full plate armor includes a helmet*

>>29986
"Hi birdies!"

>*sounds of muffled barfing and deflating pony*
*feeds baby bird*
*withdraws head* (because even birds gag when they do that shit)
"There, there.." she coos softly
*moves to fill stomach again and move on to birdie #2*

[happy pony noises]
*finishes chewing*
*nudges second bird's cheek*

>>29992
>You quoted the lines from Cowboy Bebop said by a villian to a protagonist as part of an evil plan
That makes the scene so much less nice

>>29993
Sorry...

>>29994
Like were you trying to make it have secret malevolent meaning?

>>29995
No. I didn't realize it.

Y'all are waitin' for the quads, aren't ya?

So Fluffy!

Roc is best bird.

Claiming Trumpaladinfor Tracy.

>>30000
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DELETE THIS!

*breath*
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

why...

>>30000
>>29999
Kek

>>30007
Dude, stop deleting posts ITT. It's uncool.

>>30010
This time ten

>>30010
Quiet, I'm grieving

>>30011
You're hostile to me anyways, like him

>>30012
>I do anything you don't like
>hostile
Bruh, nah
I just want you to stop deleting
And who is "him"?

>>30013
The other Florida guy

>>30014
Ah Tracy's faggot
If it's any consolation, Texas is a very nice state.

>>30012
>hostile
Oh hush, you. Learn to handle the bantz.
>>30015
Certainly good urban stability.
There's hardly anyone else in this state who was born and raised here.. Almost everyone else either moved here from somewhere else or is planning to go somewhere in the future..
Florida is still best state though.

>>30016
Can confirm, I was not born and raised in Florida.
Florida is fairly nice, I'll give it that

>>30018
Does Texas have gator riding orange slingers?

>>30018
I'll bite you to death!

>>30019
>>30020
Had a gator in our pool, gators across the road in the ditch, in the neighbor's yard, my county has more gators than people, and we have a special festival for alligators

>>30019
Ah fuck, it hurt to write something against my home state. I love you Texas
>>30021
Wait, really? A festival?
Also, how do you feel about gator tail?

>>30022
Are you also a Texas native?

Yes, a whole festival. I haven't eaten gator tail, although of course they sell it. I don't like eating strange animals

>>30020
I'll wrestle and ride you!

>>30021
Hmmm.. Impressive..
Could never compete with our irl shitposting though.

>>30023
If you want to wrestle a Floridian, you'd best come prepared!

>>30024
You don't go to the best country held captive by the Union for the shitposting. You come for the superior food, low cost of living, and homely feel

>>30025
Of course. Laso first, then tie legs. Like they do at the Rodeo

>>30026
[growls in Floridian]

>>30025
>Florida man strikes again
Uh... My predilection for bestiality stops at horses. Legal in Texas by the way

>>30027
"Yee Haw!"

>>30028
Only certain kinds of bestiality are illegal here. It's illegal to have sex with porcupines (they do it on a case-by-case basis, because they don't want to deal with the resistance)...

>in character again
*feeds birdies again*

>>30023
I was born there, but moved when I was pretty damn young
>>30029
TIL

>>30030
>In character again
*Rapes pony*

>>30032
>not in character again
"AGAIN YOU FUCKING RABBITS?"

>>30032
No, staph. Go greet the Spartans and come back when the birdies are a bit less hungry/hostile. They're hungry for hands right now.

>>30033
That's actually an interesting question. How much time has passed in game since the Space Cowboy sequence?

>>30034
>implying you have a choice

>>30035
Not in front of the children, man..
>How much time has passed in game since the Space Cowboy sequence?
A few hours at best.

Also, going through Torc's items and I have a question
What the absolute fucking hell is a damn ass "ear cuff"?

>>30036
>FCC censorship
Hmmm...

>A few hours
That's technically enough, if not optimal

>>30037
I'm betting on those being the cuffs of holding from Korak, although those are on the hands

>>30038
Nah, thats something else. Those are cuff links
I'm talking about the ear-cuffs of blinking

Ah, holy shit.
So after some math:
Out of the 30050 some posts on /vx/ right now, 27620ish are mixed nuts related...
Wow

*pets birdies*

>>30042
*Pets non-raped pony*

>>30042
What class is Tracy mostly, I'm going full autism right now

>>30044
Mostly Rogue.

>>30045
Figured

>>30043
[happy pony noises]

>>30047
D'aww

Before leaving with Fae, Trumpaladin sets up a music player to play in infinite loop a set of American patriotic songs to slowly drive the equines insane ingrain the spirit of patriotism into his fiance's adopted children

>>30048
Do we have music players?

Is GM alive?
>>30049
Since the eggs just hatched and the birds likely dont have feathers....

Are they man?

>>30049
I don't know, but if Thez can do pop concerts and I could arrive in Port Barry to "Shoot to Thrill" I can play America the Beautiful and the Marine Corp Hymm on loop in the stables

>>30051
Should add some John Denver and Johnny Cash to the mix

>>30050
They have adorable downy fluff.
>are they man?
Idk yet.

Tracy spends the remainder of the day feeding the birdies and keeping them warm, and watching to prevent cainism.
>>30051
>>30052
Let them sleep first.

>>30053
It plays while they sleep

>>30053
What if she were invited to go to a Football Game with Trumpaladin?

>>30054
Birds take priority. You have to watch birds of prey at this age, to make sure one doesn't kill the other.
>playing music while they sleep
>being this bluepilled on falconry
Don't play music to chicks, especially not when they first hatched. It makes them retarded and unable to understand commands.

>>30055
I'm being a bit stingy because I love raising birds...

*coughs up 40 pounds of elephant meat*

>>30055
I just figured she'd want to do something like that with husbando eventually. She'd have many hours until the game, and then could just have Trollestia watch them.

We can play other things to them (like Locke's Second Treatise on audiobook)

>>30056
That's half her weight. No. Not possible

>>30055
Again, TIL
Would they be drowning-in-the-fucking-rain retarded?
>Ihavestorys.png
>>30056
What kind of birds did you raise?

>>30058
>could just have Trollestia watch them
lol no
>play other things
Wait until they're mature, or else it fucks with their heads and command comprehension.
>Tracy's faggot raised falcons as a teenager, and a couple eagles.
>>30062
>Would they be drowning-in-the-fucking-rain retarded?
With recorded music? Yes.

>>30063
*sighs*
I'll go with Slovenia then

>>30063
Holy fuck today I really fucking learned.
You lucky bastard that sounds cool.
>now I know music turns falcons into turkeys

>>30065
Don't rip on turkeys; they're smarter than most birds.

>>30064
Tell her to send the mill workers to renovate the stables while you're at it.

>>30067
That will end poorly one way or another. Let it wait for proper supervision

>>30067
>>30064
And ask her if she needs any help with the GhostMobile. Tracy knows her way around a chisel.

>>30069
Ha ha no

>>30060
Hello.

>>30066
My father raised turkeys, you couldn't leave them in the rain because they would drown.
Fucking retards.
Torc desides to turn in because nothing concerns him, but his faggot will still lurk

>>30072
Ah, domestic turkeys. Yeah, fuck those retards.

>>30073
Yeah, the wild ones are great though.
Why did GM just disappear on us?
I wanted to see what intresting items Torc could find.

>>30020
oh no hes gonna eat my face!

>>30073
You still need to recover the gems or at least tell someone else so they can do it

>>30075
I'll eat everything but your face.

>>30077
yea i saw congratulations.

>>30078
[happy nerd noises]

[happy pony noises]

>>30079
>Pony is happy with some one else
*Jealous Paladin Noises*

>>30022
>>30021
>>30023
gator is fugging delicious.

>>30080
*confused minotuar noises*

>>30080
Oh hush, she lets him appreciate other things.

>>30083
What?

>>30083
Oh, you mean the happy noises were for the chicks

>>30085
What did you think it was about?

*pets birdies while feeding them*

>>30048
*changes music to all star*

>>30087
No music!

>>30086
It was in a reply to an Infernius post

*delivers tea to Slovenia before leaving on Fae to meet the delegation*

>>30087
Now that will DEFINITELY stupefy the birds

>>30089
>>30088
Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me
I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed
She was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb
In the shape of an "L" on her forehead
Well the years start coming and they don't stop coming
Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running
Didn't make sense not to live for fun
Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb
So much to do, so much to see
So what's wrong with taking the back streets?
You'll never know if you don't go
You'll never shine if you don't glow
Hey now, you're an all-star, get your game on, go play
Hey now, you're a rock star, get the show on, get paid
And all that glitters is gold
Only shooting stars break the mold
It's a cool place and they say it gets colder
You're bundled up now, wait till you get older
But the meteor men beg to differ
Judging by the hole in the satellite picture
The ice we skate is getting pretty thin
The water's getting warm so you might as well swim
My world's on fire, how about yours?
That's the way I like it and I never get bored
Hey now, you're an all-star, get your game on, go play
Hey now, you're a rock star, get the show on, get paid
All that glitters is gold
Only shooting stars break the mold
Hey now, you're an all-star, get your game on, go play
Hey now, you're a rock star, get the show, on get paid
And all that glitters is gold
Only shooting stars
Somebody once asked could I spare some change for gas?
I need to get myself away from this place
I said yep what a concept
I could use a little fuel myself
And we could all use a little change
Well, the years start coming and they don't stop coming
Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running
Didn't make sense not to live for fun
Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb
So much to do, so much to see
So what's wrong with taking the back streets?
You'll never know if you don't go (go!)
You'll never shine if you don't glow
Hey now, you're an all-star, get your game on, go play
Hey now, you're a rock star, get the show on, get paid
And all that glitters is gold
Only shooting stars break the mold
And all that glitters is gold
Only shooting stars break the mold

>>30090
Whelp....

Looks like Infernius has thrown a wrench into Tracy's bird revering program

kek

>>30090
*covers birds' ears*
"Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!"
Birds go "REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

Staph! You don't play music to baby birds. It makes them retarded!

>>30091
Stupid bull, recorded music is going to make them retarded like you!

>>30093
jej i was singing itbadlyto myself.

"Oh come on Infernius! That's not even the best of Smash Mouth!"

>>30090
My nigga

"Can I sing for the birds?"

>>30098
"Serenade them!"

>>30096
[growling pony noises]
Idk if that's allowed, desu. I used to hum to my birds, but only when they were adolescents.
Also, isn't he still at the bazaar?

>>30099
>Torc softly sings shadilay
>>30100
GM never came back, so Torc is at the tower, and has popped in to see this clusterfuck of emotions

>>30095
>>30101
"Infernius. Torcuil. You know what we must do.

We must attempt Bohemian Rhapsody"

>>30102
>one of the few songs I can sing well IRL
"Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy?"

>>30101
Tracy is hugging her fuzzy, category 9 monsters, humming to giggling and sobbing hysterically, between mouths full of elephant past.
It's not a pretty scene, but it's still cute as fuck.

>>30104
Like I said, clusterfuck of emotions

All of you, stop trying to brainwash Tracy's birds!

>>30103
>>30103
Trumpaladin jumps in

"Caught in a landslide, no escape from reality"

>>30104
Not cute

>>30106
I 100% fully intend to brainwash these birds. The real training will begin when they are older