/ub/ - Überhengst

Among the biggest societal symptoms of narcissists and narcissism is the inappropriate degree to which narcissistic manipulation has infected dominance hierarchies, replacing competence and integrity with cronyism and self/group-serving and protecting behaviors, where the needs of the team/faction outweigh the interests of the group as a whole. A person can be the most functional and diligent participant in a group, and still find themselves ostracized, maligned, and defamed simply for not aligning with the interest of a/the narcissist and those in thrall, regardless of how effectively their efforts align with the group's professed intent.
>pic related
/mlpol/ can readily observe this dynamic in places such as derpibooru and even 4chan its self, even without knowing the names and identities of the players, as well as far more obvious examples such as news and media. Hell, even Congress has 'the squad', which while being a largely ineffective attempt at making/maintaining such a dynamic still indicates an attempt to exalt a small group above others while being a highly illegitimate 'authority'.
Narcissism is everywhere and has infected every aspect of society without exception, and my premise is that one can only hope to navigate all of it with knowledge (and it is my hope that experience be unnecessary).

So let's go over the basics.
What is narcissism
Narcissism - often confused with self love relating to Narcissus of Greek lore - is typified by a few characteristics. The first and foremost is the perception that everything the narcissist does is justified, reasonable, and appropriate, even when a preponderance of evidence indicates otherwise. To a narcissist, the ends always justify the means, and no abuse of propriety, rules, norms, etc. can change or upset that position. Additionally, narcissists display an observable lack of empathy (though they can be seen to affect the appearance of empathy in their manipulations).
It is important to point out that there are unclassifiable types of narcissists due to their behavior patterns, and this thread is particularly focused toward the malignant narcissist; the person who will coerce your behavior through threats, demands, and decrees, and will gladly/readily punish you in covert/overt ways in response to any 'misbehavior'.
Narcissists are inherently lacking in self esteem, which is largely why they seek to control other's behaviors as the ability to and perpetuity of manipulation gratified and justifies any control methods employed. If the narcissist 'knows better' than others (without qualification) then 'of course' it is right and proper that they dictate to others. However, a narcissist's insinuation of control often has little/nothing to do with their ability and competence as a leader and more to do with their complete aversion to NOT being in control. The third video highlights how narcissists are the result of adverse circumstances beyond their control at one or more points in their development, however this does not justify predatory behavior on others in the aftermath.

To summarize then, narcissism is a mix of things. It begins as a coping strategy designed to minimize adversity in a person's experience. Along the way, in whatever capacity it devolves into the perception that only through direct control of a situation can it be likewise controlled in order to eliminate negative consequences to the narcissist. In short, narcissism isnt about self-love, it's about selfish predisposition to one's own interests and desires, to the direct exclusion of those not similarly aligned, and we unto those who defy the narcissist, because in many cases NOTHING is off the table.

>>3867
It's certainly logical. People with bloated egos are naturally drawn to positions of power over others, however small that power may be.

>>3913
While that's true, narcissism goes way beyond bloated ego. If one hasnt experienced one (with the 'mask' off) it can be difficult to imagine. These are people for whom the only 'rule' that exists is 'what they want is justified' (no matter how unjustifiable). Often what that amounts to is power, control, and a steady supply of thralls but at the heart of it is a very fragile and easily upset sense of self which once upset triggers a feeling of self-loathing for which a narcissist will do anything and everything to be rid of; nothing is off the table. Their feelings are ultimately what drives them, and the elimination of bad feelings means FAR more to them than whatever injuries and damage they cause to others.

Now let's take a moment to look at Narcissist enablers (I call them thralls, but enablers is the technical term)
[YouTube] 6 things narcissist enablers say to you [Embed]

I don't really understand what you're trying to say. Are you trying to give tips on how to resist narcissists from manipulating you?

I already reject simping, e-celebs, etc. What power does a narcissist have over chad rule 8?

>>3924
The intent is to make available a selection of videos and concepts so that anon can avoid being manipulated by a narcissist, as well as engage in any relevant discussion.
People are often conditioned and/or coerced into rationalizing a narcissist's manipulations and behavior as being less onerous than it is, and will subject themselves to this behavior at no benefit and often more or less injury without even knowing it. Imagine a person who likes to play tennis. They know a person who has their own tennis court and has a regular group that they play with. Now imagine that another tennis court is made available. Some players like the idea of playing more tennis, but the original court owner is a narcissiat.
The narcissist doesnt like the idea of competition, they are rather offended and insulted by it, and may display a series of behaviors. They might forbid any in their active group from playing at this new tennis court. They might send one of their enablers/flying monkeys to spy on the other group and report back anything that goes on, or they might even try to directly (or through proxies) sabotage the other tennis court/group.
In this scenario, the issue is not one of tennis, the issue is the narcissist's pride and entitlement, and the duplicitous and observably inappropriate behaviors and expectations they are wont to employ.
But the bigger issue is not the narcissist's behavior, it's the response from the other tennis players. Some of them may not realize or recognize the behavior as inappropriate, or perhaps some of them do but are more afraid of the narcissist's reaction should they confront them.
In this scenario the connection to the narcissist is not as severe as say a sibling or a parent, but many people (being that depending on geography narcissism has a prevalence of 5-40%) have already been conditioned by a narcissistic person to view this dynamic as 'normal', and may accept these manipulations later in life. Unless exposed to informative material, a person can go their entire lives at the behest and under the thumb of one or more narcissists, resulting in all manner of physical and emotional/psychological injuries throughout. Naturally a person is responsible for their own choices, but at the very least it does no one any harm (excepting the narcissist) to be more well-versed on the topic especially for individuals who may be entirely nescient through no fault of their own.
Thank you for asking
[YouTube] The 5 types of narcissistic parents [Embed]
[YouTube] Narcissistic siblings [Embed]
>Chad rules
Unless you're referencing a different set of rules, I fail to see how limiting exposure to women later in the week (unless sex is guaranteed) has any bearing on the topic.

This video more precisely addresses what I was trying to get at in my previous post. Theres literally hundreds of videos, so please bear with
[YouTube] This cognitive trap keeps people stuck in relationships with narcissists [Embed]

What causes narcicism?
I'm aware of NPD, but can it also be caused by bad upbringing?

>>3927
A very good question. Rarely do narcissists come from a completely viable upbringing. In some cases they were conditioned by a narcissistic parent or caregiver, in other instances they were in an otherwise healthy environment that was lacking in one or more aspects. There's no cut and dry 'if X then narcissist' equation, at least not that is available by contemporary analysis.
But at its core, narcissism is a behavior pattern and disposition that tends to emerge as a result of a conditioning phase (whether childhood or even into adulthood) that was adverse and unhealthy. What that means is, narcissism is its self an attempt at a self defense mechanism. Having said, when it comes to a point where a person A. feels entitled to, and B. actively manipulates, controls, undermines, gaslight, etc. those they interact with that the relationship becomes toxic/predatory.
In short, narcissists are themselves the product of troubled (but often to the outsider appearing 'normal' or even admirable) upbringing, who then conclude that in the pursuit of avoiding negative feelings/emotions, they are justified in causing trouble for others.
[YouTube] How a Narcissist is Created [Embed]

[YouTube] The narcissist and the straw that breaks the camel's back [Embed]
[YouTube] What are "boundaries"? (Glossary of Narcissistic Relationships) [Embed]
The ultimate tool to navigating and mitigating a narcissistic relationship really boils down to boundaries and enforcement. A person ought to be very firm in their resolution/conviction of what is acceptable and appropriate, AND be willing to either leave the situation or confront it head on. 'When' a person reaches that point varies by individual and temperament, and people with a recognizable history of narcissistic abuse are often the most sensitive and quick to address/confront later instances involving narcissists.
And of course, depending on the degree of control/influence a narcissist has in a given context, that confrontation can often result in the complete dismissal or loss of status/position for the person confronting it. In a workplace for example, a person who confronts a narcissistic co-worker or boss is all but guaranteed to be gaslit, undermined, and defamed to all the people the narcissist has in their grip, resulting in unfair disciplinary practices, demotions, and even termination (and in a few cases, legal action) simply for setting and enforcing clear, stable, and reasonable boundaries.

[YouTube] What happens to the scapegoat in adulthood? [Embed]
Im'a keep posting these. With any luck they only pertain to my experience, but on a statistical level I highly doubt it

>>3944
Experience? Do share.

>>3945
Father is a covert narcissist, mother was a codependent enabler who spent most days passed out drunk, older brother was physically abusive with no respect for boundaries who was also a golden child (so why would he?) and me being the scapegoat/black sheep. My role was cemented in place because I quite embarrassingly (social/family reputation and all) went and got physically/sexually abused by a caregiver for most of a year at age 4, who had developed unaddressed narcissism/low-functioning sociopathy because she had been likewise physically/sexually abused by her father as a child.

[YouTube] The #1 Way To Identify A Narcissist [Embed]
Here's another guy. Hes got a PHD in psychology and works as a psychotherapist with emphasis on narcissism. He tends to ramble a bit more than Dr. Ramani, but his content is decent.

[YouTube] 8 Cues Narcissists Watch For As They Seek Narcissistic Supply [Embed]
And one more for good measure

>>3866
How can i tell if i'm a narcissist?

>>3957
Easily. Do you want to be a good person?

>>3958
Yea i do

>>3958
No, this is anything but an actionable criteria. This seems like the watered down criteria by which a person excuses themselves from narcissism 'cuz some guy on the internet said it'.
>>3958
Tough question. Theres no easy answer or quick rubric by which to gauge.
The problem is one of perspective. Let's take >>3958 this perspective for example.
A narcissist sees their intentions and desires as being 'good', thus any person who aspires to the same ends that they aspire to would appear 'good', and summarily any who detract from the narcissist are 'bad'. Therefore, perception is an insufficient guideline hy which to gauge or refute narcissism.
If I (and you, no offense) were being honest, how many attempts have you made to manipulate and control othera' behavior? To what degree have you manipulated and/or conditioned others to comply with your will?
The biggest eliminator of narcissism as a possibility is the degree to which a person will accept and allow ignominy/dishonor, from a socialized standpoint. Narcissists cant bear for their reputation/social-image to be tarnished, and wont abide being alone (because alone means no narcissistic supply). Social perception is directly tied to a narcissist's
Self image, which when threatened is probably the BEST indicator.

If/when things dont go your way, do you respond by restricting/demanding from others? Have you ever used your dissatisfaction of a situation as a justification to impose unacceptable limits or expectations on others?
If we're being honest, and again I mean no offense hy this line of inquiry, how often has YOUR satisfaction depeneded on the compliance of others? Does compliance even enter into your worldview?

Tl;dr. Rigorous honesty. Narcissists are ALL about rationalization (not to say that non-narcs dont display uhm,.. 'mental blind spots' for their own machinations and agendas), so the best test one can self-impose pertains to one's own bullshit. If one is willing/able to fearlessly address their own failings without resorting to excuses, rationale, or other tactics, it's a good sign of an absence of narcissism. I could point to other traits, but can't articulate them in a manner that doesnt offer an easy out for a narcissist.

Heres a bigger and more generalized rhetorical question. When adverse situations arise, how often is it 'someone else's fault'? Taking and owning responsibility is something that a narcissist can only appear to do. Personal integrity is key.

Whoops, second citation was supposed to be directed at >>3957

>>3960
Further to my point
[YouTube] Affirmations You Won't Hear From a Gaslighting Narcissist [Embed]

[YouTube] Is your dad a narcissist? [Embed]
Fin

Hello, everyone! Have I posted in this thread before?

>>3866
It's not the narcissists here, it's you, you sick sonofabitch. You just attack all these "narcissists" because you, shall we say, looked at the mirror a bit too much yourself and let some jew doctor finish the job? Now you've really been backed into a corner here, because if you stop attacking people to get a momentary hit of relief from the psychic pain you're most certainly going through, you're gonna have to follow through with that little plan you've been thinking about, the one that involves you sucking on lead instead of your next cock?

Isn't that right Ninjas? The truth hurts, doesn't it buddy. But the clock's still ticking, pal. This isn't a question you can run from; not for much longer anyway. Are you gonna do the right thing, or are you gonna wipe yourself from the planet and try to take as many people closest to you as you can? With the way things have been going, I'd put my money on your continuance in taking the latter option. But I guess I'm open to being surprised. Stranger things have indeed happened than a self-professed nazi tranny. Than a militant troon getting himself out of dire straits.

And hey. If you don't like someone going out of their way to help you, please. Keep it to yourself. You might have convinced yourself with surging levels of E that you're the one helping people here, but if you ever did get off of it, I think you'd take a more realistic perspective of what's going on. You're trying to fix people like a naggy woman would and are basically just trying to fuck with their emotions and bust their nuts, but with the rage stemming from that problem I've alluded to up above you're not able to act like a lady would and keep her peace at the very least on occasion. Which kind of goes with the territory of "straddling the line gets you nowhere," that sort of thing. But I suppose you could've already guessed that one, what with your general disposition and all.

I hate your fucking guts, you're the scum of the earth as far as I'm concerned, the worst of the worst. Degenerate and sadomasochist beyond measure. But I assume like everyone else here does, I respect that you've got a screw loose and are generally pissed off enough to make implicit threats here and there, dig into your deep well of rage about some poor decision you made alongside the excuse that you don't like the cut of someone's jib. Unstable mentally speaking, pretty much. All in all I can most definitely say that it's been a massive displeasure ever knowing you and I very well hope that this is the last time we ever have any contact with each other whatsoever. At this point I couldn't care less what you do as far as getting better or joining the 41% is concerned, and I suppose that's saying quite a lot. To put it lightly. I'd rather you hurry up and skip the foreplay, but I guess that's not really up to me.

Well, good luck, I guess. Or not. This is the point where I'd say it'd been nice knowing you, but, you know. It's been anything but.

>>4370
You get angry at OP for overplaying the effects of narcissism, but you seem to have taken this thread awfully personally... Curious.

>>4370
I feel like youre having trouble opening up, that youre putting up walls to avoid speaking your mind. Its okay anon, you can say what you really feel

>>4370
What the fuck nigger. It's been 60 days more or less. Unless you're referencing something else.
Go here next time
>>2676 →
Then reference the post(s) or something. Otherwise it's a shot in the dark. Or don't.

>>4370
>>4373
Imagine having an ego so fragile that you'd bump a thread that hasn't been posted to in two months, because you can't handle the thought that you might be narcissistic.

From the screenshot just posted at >>>/mlpol/320710 →

>>4377
mixed nuts 2. I had expressed an interest in it being deleted several months ago, but it wasnt until I started openly naming narcissists (and an oddly intervening time period) that it seems to have finally been deleted.
How odd, the archive for /vx/ doesnt seem to be operating. It couldnt be that I said some things in that thread that individuals want not to be seen. It probably isnt, but its still 'funny' that the archive seems to have neglected /vx/. It works for /üb/, I cant imagine what the issue could be.
But enough of that, this thread is about narcissists and narcissism and as OP (he's not wrong) I do a disservice by engaging derailing conversations and inquiry.

>>4379
Four seconds to go to the “search” bar, type in “mixed nuts 2,” and click on the most recent result.
https://mlpol.net/vx/145842#145842

Addendum
After painting myself 6 shades of idiot, I have to publicly acknowledge several oversights, including that mixed nuts 2 is not gone. I wont attempt to excuse the fault, Ill just acknowedge it and move on, while retracting the premature speculation that resulted.

>>4374
Me >>4373 and other Anon >>4370 are different users.
There wasn't much for me to say itt. Uhhh Political Ponerology is nice to know.

>>4383
Wifi fuckery atm

>>4439
What the fuck?
I know Rand said these fuckers want us to die more than they want to live and want us to starve more than they want to eat, but...
Holy shit.
Those demons actually want to be slain, and they hate us for not putting them out of their misery.

>>4440
Yup.