RIP MarbleMac ship…
It never would have panned out, anyways, but at least it means that Marble is free for the claiming.
>>194046>You know what?>You've been through your fair share of bullshit trips that have had shit go wrong before.>That one fucking yak princess was the absolute worst.>Key word being 'was'.>Because now?>"What in the world were you thinking, Anonymous?!" your mother almost screams at you.>This definitely tops the fucking list.>You didn't even know that ponies could punch that hard.>Or that that stupid fucking cunt princess could return fire like that.>Seriously fuck her with a chainsaw you never want to see her again Jesus Christ can you just go home already.>"Are you even listening to me?!"
"Not really.">"Do you even realize what it is that you've done?!"
"Defended myself?">"Defended yourself?! Against what? What could that poor young lady have possibly done?"
"'Poor young lady', she says.">"Are you--?!"
"Mom, you weren't there.">"Did I have to be?! You picked a fight with a close ally's princess! Do you have any idea what--?!"
"First off, those crystal horses aren't allies.">"For the love of God, do not call them 'horses'!"
"But it's true.">Good, she's losing her cool.>The sooner she leaves you alone, the better.>Right as she opens her mouth again, the door to this little infirmary room is heard creaking open.>Oh Jesus Christ if it's dad you're going to flip your fucking shit-->Oh no wait, it's that one effeminate gaylord horse from before.>Mom gasps upon seeing who it is, and darts over towards him.>"Mr. Armour! Oh, I am so, so sorry about what--">"N-no, I should be apologizing, Mrs. Augustulus.">Holy fucking shit he has a fucking surfer dude voice why the fuck how the fuck what the fuck man.>"Actually," he continues, "Could I have a word with you alone, please?">"O-of course, whatever you need!">And of course mom fixes you that oh-so-frightening 'big trouble' glare of hers, like that's supposed to fucking mean anything.>"Don't you dare move from that spot, young man."
"Whatever.">After a moment of grumbling, she leaves the room with that other horse.>Alone at last, thank fucking God.>Jeez, this shit stings.>Fucking pony magic only does so much.>Fucking cheating hooves, might as well have been bringing clubs.>At least you got to ruin the dumb cunt's stupid fucking outfit.>Seriously, just fuck her.>Not like you had to care either: the Crystal Empire is technically separate from Equestria proper.>So it's not like you'd socked that one Twilight princess in the jaw.>See, you think of these things!>Besides, she was actually kinda nice, unlike that fucking cunt princess.>Yeah, you'd like to see her act all fucking tough without her trashy fucking outfit.>Actually, you'd prefer never seeing her again.>Fuck this trip so hard.>You don't even care about your fucking phone anymore, you just wanna go home already.>The doorknob turns, and the clenching commences.>Clenching that soon lets up when you see it's that fairy fucking white horse from before.>The hell does this faggot want?>"Anonymous, was it?">Oh Jesus Christ you're not answering him.>Just fucking listen to his voice!>"W-well, ah, I suppose I'd best start by apologizing for what my daughter did to you.">Seriously where did he even get his fucking accent from anyways--
"Wait, what?">"I'm not happy that you fought back, but I do understand that she started it all.">Wait wait wait, he gets it?>Double fucking wait up, is he actually implying that the cunt princess is his kid?>"And, well, I'm sorry about that. I hope you can forgive her.">Oh Jesus Christ, he is her dad, isn't he?>Snrk.>Wow, okay, that explains a lot.>"I-is something funny?"
"Oh, yeah! I mean, geez, now I see how she just flew off the handle like that!">Oh boy are you still fucking mad but boyohfuckingboy is this also so fucking funny.
"What, you never hear of spanking before?">"I-I'm sorry?"
"Spanking, genius! Maybe that bitch wouldn't fly off the handle so much if you'd done your fucking job right!">Whatever soft look he had just evaporated.
"Nonono, wait, lemmie guess! Too buys working on your surfboard, brah? 'Nah, bruh, this parent shit is too wack for me, dude bruh man duuuude
"Yeah, I fucking figured you were fucking useless the second I saw you bring her in!">On comes the musical number:
"I never spanked my kids, and I raised a piece of shit, and I drop my kids off at soccer practice every Tuesday~!
">This has to be one of the most humourless laughs you've given to date.
"Hey, who knows? Maybe she'll grow up to be the next fucking Ponichet or something! Hell, not hard to see that fucking psycho throwing people off of that giant dick you call a palace--"
>>195336>Oh wait, he left the room.>Hahah, you've still got it!>You know what else you've got?>Anger, endless fucking anger!>Seriously fuck this place will somebody please just get you the fuck home already you don't even fucking care anymore!>Aaaaaaaaaagh this fucking suuuuuuucks!>The door opens again, only this time-->"My boy!">Oh fuck no not him anyone but fucking dad why has God forsaken you tonight-->"Ahahahah! Still kicking after that little thrashing, eh?"
"Oh just go away.">"But how am I supposed to bring you home then?">Wait what okay nevermind.
"Oh fucking finally!">"Incidentally, you can forget all about that quaint little phone of yours--"
"Don't fucking care! Just get me out of here!">And would it kill him to stop with those fucking smirks of his?!>"Of course, son. Up and at 'em!">Was there any reason he emphasized 'son' there?>Nah, you're just imagining things.>Through the halls you go.>Step after step closer to fucking home, thank the lord Jesus Christ.>Only your sojourn is cut short by the fucking surfer dude horse.>"Mr. Augustulus!">"Please, please! No need to be so formal, Shining! Just Nito will suffice, my friend!">"Nevermind that! What in the world is the matter with you?!">Oh, now he asks the important questions?>"Ahahahah! Not enough, my friend!">"I-- w-what?">"Indeed, the shorter answer may be to ask what's right with me, wouldn't you agree?">Never thought you'd empathize with a horse as beta as him, but damn if that eye twitch wasn't a perfect summary of your own feelings right now.>"Ohh, but do go on, Shining! You were about to say something, weren't you?">"You're darned right I was!">Oh Jesus he can't even swear holy shit how fucking cucked can you get?>"I sincerely hope you're going to punish him for what he did today," he half harrumphs, eyes flicking to you.
"Yeah, look who's talking--">A brief WHOOSH, a blur of orange ending in a hand right in front of your face, and a mild jump on your part.>"Ah-ah-ah, it's not nice to interrupt, son."
"Oh whatever.">"See?!" the dumb fucking horse snorts, "I thought it was my daughter that started it, but now I'm--"
"She did start it, genius!">That hand grabs your shooooouldeeeeer--!>"I don't particularly enjoy repeating myself, son.">ow ow ow please stop squeezing it hurts losing feeling losing feeling>"Sorry about that, Shining. I completely understand your concerns, and rest assured, I've arranged for the appropriate disciplinary action.">"Oh, thank goodness.">"You should be thanking your wife, Shining!">"Wha? C-Cadance?">"Why, yes! She's the one who came up with the idea! You know, it never ceases to amaze me how creative Candy can get when it comes to soothing relations!">Wait, who the fuck is 'Candy'?>"Wh-what do you mean?" he stammers, now looking a bit nervous. "What did she--?">"A magician never reveals their secrets, my good man! You'll find out soon enough!">"But--">"Oh, relax!" dad laughs, finally releasing your shoulder to clap his hands for a moment. "I think you'll quite like what we agreed upon!">"I-I don't think--">"Now come along! I don't want any of you to miss this!">You know, you've got a seriously bad feeling about all of this.>A bad feeling that only gets worse when you hear mom's voice off in the distance:>"That's unacceptable! Y-you can't just--">"Not tell you?" some voice you don't recognize sing-songs back. "A magician never reveals their secrets, Minny~!">"Y-you're incorrigible!">"I know! Old habits die hard, after all! Teeheehee!">Why does this other voice make you super fucking nervous?>Dad can barely keep the excited grin off of his face as he opens the door in front of him, and is met with-->Wait, that's the same pink alicorn Dad was with!
>>195337>"Ahahahah, Candy! Is everything ready?">"You know it, Nito! She'll be here any minute!">Mom filters in after the pink horse, followed by--
"You?!">"You?!">Oh hell no, not that fucking psycho horse!
"Get her out, get her out!">"Get that crazy ape away from me!">"Incognito!" mom yells across the hall, "What are you playing at?!">"Cadance!" the surfer cuck yells across the hall, "What are you playing at?!">All dad and the pink horse do is laugh, even as you and that fucking psycho white horse take cover behind the two of them.
"What the fuck are you animals doing, letting her in here?!">"Right back at you, asshole! Mom, what the fuck is your problem?!">The pink horse wraps the psycho one in a one-legged neck hug, and you feel a hand on your shooooouldeeeeeer--!>"Now, now," dad starts,>"There's no need for such language," the pink one finishes.>jesus christ of latter day saints it hurts please stop doing that>"Now, we're going to let go of you two," dad starts again,>"And when we do, you two are going to settle down," the pink horse finishes again.>okay okay fine just please stop doing that it hurts oh god no more please>You gingerly caress your poor oppressed shoulder the moment dad's hand comes off of it, and that psycho horse takes a lot of deep breaths after her mom lets her go from that death grip.>Jesus Christ what is going on here.>All of a sudden, a big door off to the side flies open in a flash of purple magic, and through it is-->"Whew, sorry I'm late!">Wait a minute, that's that Twilight princess pony!>"Ahahahah!" dad booms yet again, "You're right on time, princess Twilight!">"Yep, just like always!" the pink one concurs, both her and dad smiling widely.>Dad pats your shoulder and the pink horse pats the psycho's withers, then they both head off to that Twilight pony for-->Oh good God in heaven, are they seriously doing a group hug right now?!>Mom is left utterly speechless, same as that gaylord surfer dude.>It's weird, but in this exact moment, that psycho looks just as confused as you feel.>"Cadance," Twilight starts, "You didn't tell me you knew the Dominion's Emperor!">"Oh, we go way back, Twilight! We just haven't had the time to connect until now!">"Yes," dad booms, "And we're so very glad you could make it today!">"Well, any friend of Cadance is a friend of mine, Incognito!">"Ahahahah! Took the words right out of my mouth, Twilight! Oh, it's good to see you again!">What the hell is going on?>"Now," Twilight says after they all break the group hug, "Let's get this friendship problem straightened right out, shall we?"
"What?">"What?" the psycho concurs.>"What?" mom double concurs.>"What?" surfer dude triple concurs.>"Well," dad booms, "We can't very well let this little tussle harm our diplomatic relations, can we?">"Yeah, those minotaurs can be real geezers," the pink horse concurs, "And I don't want our children to hate each other!">"So, we've come to a little arrangement!">"Twilight here is going to sort this little friendship problem out, lickety split!">"They'll be her guests down at her lovely Ponyville castle for the next few days!">"Becoming the best of friends while we straighten this little incident out!">"I've already gotten your bags packed and ready," Twilight concurs, floating a long slip of paper out. "And a whole list of things that'll be sure to help you two become best friends in no time at all!">As if processing this wasn't enough, the three of them decide to strike a pose together.>Sparkles fly from the tips of their limbs as they fall into place, and a small blast of air accompanies their loud, simultaneous proclamation:>"It's the perfect solution!">Utter silence dominates the room, their simultaneous pose standing tall in the midst of what they just said.>Actually, one thing does come to your mind during all this.>Just one, singular word.>What.>Excuse you?>What?>They don't actually…?>No.>No way.>Uh-uh.>No.>No, no, no.>No.>No!>This is not fucking cool.>This isn't even remotely fucking cool!>Almost as if God himself synchronized all four of you, those not part of the magnificent pose all called out in one voice:
Did I seriously take a week to get this updated? Damn, guess I really wasn't gonna hit my goal of 'smut by xmas' goal after all. Oh well, we'll get there eventually. I lay the blame completely on the post-gifting festivities. And the booze. Definitely the booze.
I'm considering Pastebinning this madness, but perhaps later. Threads being permanent here and all, it only makes sense for the /mlp/ crowd to get Pastebins. Fishing opportunity, mayhaps?
Incidentally, thanks to the other guys who bumped the other porn thread, and inadvertently kept the links in >>164943
working and ready. Catch you all later! Hopefully not another week later
Yay, an update!
I love these. Anon is so relatable.
I can see the setup to an extraordinary hate-fuck coming up. The image is already glorious in my mind.
The story by itself is great as is.
I'm looking forward to the smut.
>>196237>ywn cuck shining armor by cumming inside cadence
>>195338>No sooner does this bombshell of bullshit drop on you than everything starts glowing purple and-->Holy shit what the fuck you're floating--!>"Oh, I'm really looking forward to this, you two!" that Twilight pony says-->Her horn's fucking glowing!>Oh, hell no!
"Put me down!">"Cut it out, Twilight!" that psycho half screeches.>Wait she's being floated too?>Oh, no.>Oh, hell no!>Hell the fuck no, you are not staying anywhere near this fucking psycho!>That Twilight horse wraps the still struggling psycho in a full-body hug, complete with very one-sided cheek nuzzling.>"Oh, it'll be just like old times, Flurry!">"Those didn't involve holding me prisoner!">"D'aww, you'll do just fine! I'm sure of it!">"I'm not going anywhere with that crazy ape!">"Uncle Spike's really missed you, you know! You'll have lots of time to catch up with him now!">"Twilight I swear to Epona--!">The psycho is briefly silenced by a big kiss to her cheek, before her purple assailant turns her gaze to you.>"And I'm so happy to see you again too, Anon!">Dad and that pink horse just look on with big smiles on their faces.>"I know you really enjoyed your last visit with your parents, so I went out of my way to make this little sleepover as enjoyable as possible for you!"
"I never agreed to anything like a sleepover!">Oh dear God, if you have to bunk with that psycho--!>"You remember Spike, don't you?">Only that he was kind of cool.>Dragons have that effect.>Didn't he have some kind of pony girlfriend over then, too?>"Well I had him stock up on all kinds of meats, special for you!"
"Is that supposed to make me feel better about being abducted?">Okay, context completely aside, that was quite the gigglesnort she had.>"Don't be silly, your parents okayed the whole thing!"
"My parents are demons from hell that want to see me suffer!">"Yeah," the cunt princess cries, "What he said!">This time, it's the nearby parents that laugh alongside this Twilight pony.>"Now wait just a minute, all of you!" mom calls from behind, sounding quite agitated.>"We never agreed to anything like this!" that surfer dude concurs.>Great, the only two adults on your side here, and they're completely fucking useless!>See, these three are only laughing harder!>"Ohh goodness," dad chortles, "I remember when I called my father the same thing!">"Me too," the pink one giggles, "And that was just over me being out too late!">"But in all seriousness," dad says, eyes pointed straight at you, "You will be attending this little excursion with princess Twilight.">"And you will make up with each other," the pink one adds, her eyes aimed at the psycho. "And we'll both be very, very disappointed if we hear you've caused Twilight any trouble.">"After all, as a princess of Equestria proper, causing a stir in her domain would be quite… unwise.">Uh-oh.>"And I can't say it would go over well with my ponies, being such good allies with Equestria and all that.">Oh Jesus Christ they planned it like this didn't they.>It's right then, when the implications dawn upon you, that you finally see it.>That evil sparkle in both dad's and that pink horse's eyes.>"I don't care let me go already I don't wanna go!" the psycho screeches, flailing against her magic floating.
"You said you were gonna take me home," you grumble at dad.>A few moments of that evil sparkling in his eyes later, and he finally responds in his normally jovial tone.>"Ahahahah! Why yes, I did! But alas, you failed to clarify as to which home it was going to be!"
"Cheating son of a bitch.">"Ahahahah! Complaining about cheating in politics! Ahh, you've still much to learn, my boy!"
"You are the devil and I resent your very soul.">"So, will there be any problems with this arrangement, my boy?"
"How long?" you sigh.>"Until it's sorted, of course!">You fucking knew he wouldn't give you a straight answer holy shit you hate this asshole so fucking much.>You fold your arms and grumble, and somewhere along the line you're finally set down onto the ground.>Holding your fucking country's alliances over your head like that, what a fucking dick.>Fucking shit fuck god damn son of a bitch orange juice looking piece of shit go die in a fucking fire.>"Now!" that Twilight chirps, "We all set and ready to go?">She'll get nothing but grumbles out of you, and apparently the psycho feels the same way.>"That's great! Come on, right this way! I even got the heated carriage for this! Eeeeeee, I can't wait!">Wow, isn't that just so fucking luxurious?>You don't even bother looking at any of your bastard parents from hell as you march to your doom behind Twilight, making sure to keep a healthy distance from the grumbling psycho horse.>And there it was, a big flashy chariot that was as garish as it was covered in gems.>Seriously, what's with ponies and gems?>Gold is the objectively better choice.>"Now it'll take a few minutes to reach the castle, so I went ahead and got some tea ready for the trip there!">Well, at least there's some good news.>Ponies do have some bomb ass tea, after all.>You step into the carriage, and okay, you'll admit, it's pretty nicely furnished, gay pink and purple colour scheme aside.>And the tea set was pretty balling, too, all loaded with antigravity magic and shit.>So this Twilight was still at least somewhat based, despite her jailkeeper role for the forseeable future.>Ooh, and the tea's good, too.>Perfect temperature.>Unfortunately, the psychotic cunt went for some as well.>A brief glaring match passed between you and the now unclothed twat, until it settled into sipping away, trying to avoid all eye contact.>Yeah, this is gonna go from sucking to blowing, real fucking fast.>Fuck your life sideways.…
>>196480>"This is absolutely unacceptable!" Mrs. Augustulus screeches at her husband.
"What were you thinking?!" you nearly yell at Cadance.>"Well," she replies in an ever-cheery tone, "I was thinking of getting this little rough patch between them straightened out, of course!">"Indeed!" Mr. Augustulus booms, as if unaware of any wrongdoing, "Those pesky minotaurs are a persnickety bunch! Why, their own little prince was on the scene when those two had their disagreement, after all!">"D-Disagreement?!" his wife gapes, incredulous as can be. "You call that a disagreement?!">"Why yes, my love! A small trifling scuffle that a little proximity can fix right up!">"Yep!" Cadance adds, cheery as can be. "Oh, I'll bet they'll be best of friends by this time next week! I can feel it!"
"Honey, I know this isn't the first time I've said this, but have you lost your mind?!">"What, you don't think your sister can do it?"
"That is not what I am saying!">"Did the pair of you just… just forget everything that happened between those two?!" Mrs. Augustulus repeats.>"Oh, just a little tussle is all!" Cadance chirps to your ever-growing disbelief.>"They called each other horrible names, some of which I'd never heard before!"
"And did you just forget about the bruises that had to be treated with magic?!">"Bah, no need to be soft on them, my man!" Mr. Augustulus booms. "Why, I remember getting and giving far worse on a weekly basis with my best friends!"
"Y-you beat up your friends?!">"Absolutely! Why, nothing could separate us!"
"That doesn't even--! Aaaagh, you're missing the point!">"Who, me?">His face becomes even as his eyes settle upon you, and his tone shifts to something more… serious.>"Or do you mean you, Shining?"
"Wh-what?">"Well, think about it," Cadance chimes in, her own tone matching his. "Equestria's trying to avoid war, and the Federation is chomping at the bit to fight it out with the Dominion!">"Oh, my son is quite right about us being able to defeat them militarily, but that wouldn't paint the best picture of us, now would it? Why, just imagine if those slimy griffons decided to join the fight against us!">"Mmhmm. Those guys are super angry at humanity all the time! And of course, the buffalo would do almost anything to help their minotaur friends, even after everything Twilight did for them!">"This is a real powder keg we've found ourselves plonked right atop of. And now, as if things weren't strained enough, our children have a public tantrum, for all the other royal children to see!">Both you and Mrs. Augustulus can't help but shrink back as they lean in closer, no trace of a smile on either of their faces.>"Leaving us to perform damage control while they make up with one another," he intones.>"So as you can see, this is about a lot more than just a pair of old friends playing catch-up," she intones with him.>"We'll be stuck in this castle for as long as they will be in princess Twilight's, repairing far more than I'd bargained for.">"Mmhmm. And there's no way I'm letting war break out, especially not with one of my very best friends.">"Understand now?">"Understand now?">U-uhh, w-well…>Oh gosh darn it, Cadance looks so scary when she's serious!>But that Incognito, geez…!>That look of his might as well be staring right through your soul!>"Wh-why didn't you tell us about this first?" Mrs. Augustulus whispers.>"I'm terribly sorry my love, but there was no time to deliberate.">"To be honest," Cadance says, "Twilight was the real lifesaver here. I still don't know how she's so good at making plans!"
"M-me neither. But still, you should have--!">She cuts you off with a swift hug.>"Oh I'm sorry Shiny, please don't be mad!">No no no don't make the puppy dog eyes!>You're supposed to be angry!>"Pleeeeeease?">Aaaagh, this mare!>Every time!>Why does it work every single time?!>"Come now, honey!" Mr. Augustulus booms, embracing his pouting wife. "What's done is done!">"I'm still not happy about this," she grumbles.>"I know, and I am terribly sorry about that.">"You actually think he'll, well, make up?">"Absolutely! Why, he picked up on the gravity of the situation right away! I'm sure it'll be nothing but a runaway success with him and that young lady!">Aaaaah, Cadance, seriously?!>She had to gasp that loud, right next to you?!>"Nito!" she squees.>Uh-oh, she has that sparkle in her eyes…>"NitoNitoNitoNitoIjustthoughtofthecraziestbutbestestideaever--!!">Said human reaches out to shush her with a hand clamped around her muzzle.>"Sorry Candy, but not all of us have that enviable princess stamina. Can your idea wait until tomorrow?">Wow, he does look tired, doesn't he?>"Oh, fine!" she huffs. "Gosh, you used to be so much more energetic!">"The hottest stars burn out the quickest, I'm afraid. Well, that and I lack a literal magic star right inside my soul.">"Nito, you've gotta stop reading that thaumaturgy tripe! Talk about fake news!">"But it's so entertaining, Candy! The action! The drama! And that antagonist with the Biblical name, my goodness!">"But it goes on forever and ever! Honestly, are they ever going to write the ending to it before the publisher shuts down?">"I've got faith, Candy! The writers just need to stop getting sidetracked with all those side projects!">"So, never?">"Ohh, really now!"
"Ahem.">"Ahem," his wife concurs.>"Fine, fine!" Cadance huffs. "Well, you two will be happy to hear that I got the best diplomat's suite in the castle!">"Candy, your people skills never cease to amaze!">Sleep sounds wonderful right now.…
>>196481>"And the day after tomorrow's going to involve so much outdoor activity, you two! I've already made reservations at the lake, gotten all the temperature spells ready to go, and have all the swimwear sizes for Rarity to do her thing with!">Sweet merciful Christ riding a burning unicycle, how much can this princess talk?!>You only just got inside her freaky castle, and she's still going on about her day plans!>"Now, the meal plan for that day will involve a lovely continental breakfast of…">Yeah, you're just gonna tune that right out.>And do your best to ignore the presence of the cunt princess.>Wait.>Jesus, she's still going!>And-->Wait.>Did she…?>No fucking way.>She didn't even stop to breathe!>Holy piss, she's been going on three minutes of uninterrupted talking, and without a single fucking breath!>Fucking alicorns are freaks of nature what the actual fuck man now you're starting to get kinda scared by this whole fucking prospect.>"Aaaaaand I've still got to get to work on planning the days after that!">Oh thank Christ she's finished with that shit.>"Now, this is where you'll be staying!">Huh, when did you get to this big ass door?>Twilight whisks it open with magic, and…>Uhh, okay, this is different.>Good different, that is!>Look at this place, a fucking four-post bed!>And is that a fucking thaumputer on the desk there?>Oh please say it has a good Visternet connection, for the love of God.>You know, maybe this won't be that bad!>"Well, get comfortable! We'll be having dinner soon, so I'll be back in half an hour to get you two!"
"Okay!">Yeah yeah whatever, you're hitting that machine like-->"Twilight," comes the irritating voice of the cunt princess, "You are not serious right now.">"Mm? Well, why wouldn't I be serious, Flurry?">"Don't play that with me! Where's my room?!">"This is your room, Flurry!">Wait what the fuck is she whining about now?>You turn towards the bickering alicorn pair, but your head whips right back to the room after you catch sight of something very, very horrifying.>The same exact bed, desk, and thaumputer setup mirrored on the other side of the room.>Oh, no.>Oh, hell to the fuck no!>Murphy you absolute fucking son of a bitch, you're gonna fucking kill his fucking family in front of him!>Back to Twilight you turn with the fury of hell itself burning in your gut.>"I am not staying with him around!" she screeches, pointing at you."I am not staying with her around!" you bellow, pointing at her.>What may have been a gigglesnort for her was a huge eye twitch for you.>"Oh, it's not such a big deal!""Yes it is!">"Yes it is!">"Well why else would I give you two half an hour before dinner to get used to this? I think of these things!">"Witch! Tirek didn't get locked up for this!"
"Everywhere I go, I'm surrounded by fucking demons from--!">A zap of purple fires from her horn-->Yaaaaaagh!>"There will be no swearing in my house, Mr. Augustulus," Twilight says, curt as can be.>Jesus Christ that fucking hurt what the fuck is her problem?!>"Now, me and the others are gonna be hard at work getting dinner ready."
"Wait just a minute--!">"Twilight don't you fucking dare--">ZAP>"Yaaaah, fucker--!">ZAP>"Holy shit stop--!">ZAP>"Oowww! Okay, okay, I get it!">"Remember, half an hour! Be ready by then, you two!"
"This zapping business is highly illegal in the Dominion!">"See you two later!"
"Hey, don't you walk off--!">Aaaaaand she just teleported away.>Bitchtit gargling son of a monkey's whore what the fuck man?!>The autistic screech that just escaped your lungs was somehow matched by the twat princess beside you, not that you fucking care because holy mother of God this fucking blows you want out of here right fucking now!>Oh fuck this so hard man!>No you know what, fuck dinner, you just wanna fucking deepthroat an S1000 right now!>And fuck this gay noise, at least you can see if the thaumputer fucking works right!>Funnily enough, your shit was already laid out on the right half of the room, making the thaumputer choice a no-brainer.>Flicking the power on, you're met with-->Are you serious?!>A fucking time lock?!>And she set the fucking supervisor password, too?!>No fuck this, fuck everything, this is the literal fucking worst fuck this fuck that fuck every living being on the planet fucking Equus you're so fucking done right now Jesus Christ have mercy!>In the end, you just flop onto the bed, completely ignoring the awesome cloud mattress in favour of tossing around and occasionally glaring at your similarly flopping cunt roommate.>Dinner comes, and you're all too happy to leave this prison cell.>Twilight was there along with that Spike guy, a head shorter than you and with the arms of a serious lifter.>And some other pony.>Starbright Twitter?>Fuck if you know, hell if you care, but she was obviously Spike's bitch.>Yeah, that's the fucking secret to Equestrian dominance right there.>Not the alicorns, not this Element of Lobotomy shit, none of that.>They've just got an overabundance of smoking hot women that they use to fuck their way into peace.>And it works, too!>There's a reason they monopolized the whole fucking porn industry!>It's like they're fucking built for it, man!>Well not you, nosiree!>No fucking quadruped thots for you!
>>196482>Dinner ends, and you get sent off back to your-- fuck, the bedroom.>The door shuts behind, and-->"Let's get something straight here, shitheel.">Oh, pwincess wants to tawk shit again?>"I fucking hate you and I want you to die in a high speed carriage crash."
"And I hope you win the lottery and die the next day.">"We're not fucking friends, and we never will be. Got that?"
"Yeah, well I don't fucking wanna be friends either.">"I don't make friends with piece of shit fucking princes like you!"
"And I don't make friends with knock-kneed political chess pieces like you!">"I'm just going along with this to get out of here!"
"Finally, something intelligent to relate to!">"We're not friends!"
"Damn right we're not!">"Yeah!"
"Good!">"Glad you understand!"
"Yeah, glad you understand too!">Have you mentioned yet how punchable that face is?>"Good!"
"I'm going to sleep.">"Yeah, me too."
"You better not fucking snore.">"Look who's talking."
"Eat me.">"You wish.">A glaring contest ensures, one that remains even as you both shuffle over to your bathroom doors.>At least this hellhole has separate fucking bathrooms!>Nightly cleanup later, and you slink into bed without further incident.>Man, fuck today.>And fuck tomorrow.>Fucking princess cunt and her fucking mouth.>Fucking dad and his bullshit politics.>Fucking everything sucks.>Go to sleep already, Anon.>Sleep!>Oh for fuck's sake, sleep!>Sleep!>Aagh, what you wouldn't give for your phone right now!>Okay, count sheep!>1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16-->Fuck, this is supposed to work?>What a fucking load!>1, 2, 3, 4… 5…>… #@>=-=<@#
Finna got this written out. Man, I've gotta give the movies and booze a rest, I'm never gonna keep writing at a good pace like this!
Anyways, I'll erect a Pastebin later on, but for now you get to bask in the proper formatting. Found a way to do it that was far less tedious and far less error-prone than my copypaste schema from before, so there's that!
Hope y'all enjoyed, and I certainly hope y'all are hyped for the next segment!
10/10 loving every single detail of it. It brings out the best (and worst) side of every character involved.
post some anon x cadence
I'm a bit busy right now. Might post more later.
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Indeed. I'm waiting for when they're finished with the comic so I can post the whole thing.