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game1.jpg
Ebil Nuts
Anonymous
3ZTGM
?
No.64148
64150
>Mixed Nuts
To some, its a delightful role-playing venture based (loosely) on 3.5e D&D rules. To others especially a particular german poster,… love you btw its the worst thing to happen to Mlpol (which is saying something, cuz there's,….).
>What it do
On weekends we engage a dynamic storyline based largely on the GM's capacity to create and illustrate the situation. Sometimes he's a faggot tho.
>What about me?
New players and shitposters are always welcome. We have prohibited excessive >lewd, and non-players can assume casual roles as available (at the moment the world is a desolate wasteland tho so not for a bit). Ordinarily we have several side-characters with their own existing backstories, as well as a few player contributions including a very sad Alex Jones or Yak Lee, a literal MLP yak trained as a monk. If wanting to play, make a post about it in thread and there's plenty of anons who can steer anon in the right direction.

For the time being the party has successfully conquered the Gigajew, and through the tunnels beneath has all-kinds-of tortured to almost death (there will be more) James Alefantis and several patrons/staff of Comet Ping Pong. Through this tunnel network, there is only one direction to go, and that is the upper path, which seems to lead toward the usurped Trump Tower.
1121 replies and 29 files omitted.
Anonymous
1uaV9
?
No.64976
>>64974
"Me can handle it."

Anonymous
1uaV9
?
No.64977
>>64973
"No she say me and addy both cant die."
Anonymous
NoyBA
?
No.64978
64979 64980 64981 64982
"Stix, Addy, and Torcuil should maintain the middle of the formation, so that they can't be immediately targeted by melee. Infernius and I (highest HP) will lead, with Trump and Fae on the sides. Tracy can flit around and stab opponents, tumbling through the formation as she feels inclined. Am I forgetting anyone."
"Yeah."
The area fills with smoke,... far more smoke than was necessary, but as it clears a very scarred and abused, but much older Ponimaru stands at the edge of the area.
Anonymous
rZoLl
?
No.64979
>>64978
"Do I know you?"
Mrs. Sentry
rjnHI
?
No.64980
64984
>>64978
"... And to think I was just ablout to throw his ears in the machine.."
"So you're still alive, weeboi." Tracy says
"How long have you been watching?"
Anonymous
1uaV9
?
No.64981
>>64978
*hugs ponimaru*
Anonymous
UCAK4
?
No.64982
>>64978
“Ponymaru!”
Stix is pleased to see his strange acquaintance.
“You made it!”
Anonymous
NpdlP
?
No.64983
*lenos pops neck and rolls shoulders* alright are we all ready?
Anonymous
NoyBA
?
No.64984
64985 64986
>>64980
"Long enough. This plan is suicide."
Thez makes a discouraging shake of her head, which does not go unnoticed.
Mrs. Sentry
rjnHI
?
No.64985
>>64984
Tracy's eyes narrow a bit
"And when did you get here?"
Anonymous
UCAK4
?
No.64986
64987
>>64984
“Did you have another idea of what we could do?”
Anonymous
NoyBA
?
No.64987
64988 64989 64990
>>64986
"No. But if you're going to go getting yourselves killed, I'm going too."
Anonymous
1uaV9
?
No.64988
>>64987
*hugs ponimaru*
Anonymous
rZoLl
?
No.64989
64993
>>64987
Torc leans towards Trumpaladin
"Am I supposed to know this guy?"
Anonymous
UCAK4
?
No.64990
>>64987
“That’s the spirit! We just need to fix what happened here. We can’t let all this death and destruction come to pass. If the price to pay is my life, I think that is a decent bargain. I’m sure everyone here agrees.”
Anonymous
NoyBA
?
No.64991
64993 64994
Ponimaru places a hoof on Trump's shoulder. "I know what happened. I tried to free them from the Gay marriage curse that had been placed, but every day the grounds keeper returned, to restore them to undeath and ignominy. I would,...." he says, turning away.
Anonymous
NoyBA
?
No.64992
64994
"I guess we're ready,... ish, then. Tracy would obviously lead the stealth group, while the rest 'presents' themselves at the gate. Any additions?"
"I will be there for the infiltration." Ponimaru says glaring from his one good eye.
Anonymous
eLfii
?
No.64993
64995
>>64991
Trumpaladin looks at him in the eyes, barely withholding crying, silent for a few moments

"....Thank you"

>>64989
It's Thez's message boy. He;s delivered multiple messages over the past few months, such as the letter Thez sent when she was in self-imposed exile, and he helped to locate the kidnapped loggers. Also the Blue one killed him. Twice."
Anonymous
1uaV9
?
No.64994
64996
>>64991
"You did all you could."
>>64992
*heals bad eye*
Anonymous
1uaV9
?
No.64995
64997
>>64993
"We get revenge for our men."
*puts hand on shoulder*
Anonymous
NoyBA
?
No.64996
64998 65002
>>64994
He resists the spell.
"Save your energy. You'll need it, and besides, this isn't just a ruined eye." he says firmly.

So the gate to Hell is as was aptly described, a doggie-door of sorts. While precarious in a pinch, no one is beating down the party's door at the moment, so it's not an issue.

<thud>
Anonymous
eLfii
?
No.64997
64999
>>64995
The sadness is not erased from his expression, but Infernius's hand and display of solidarity gives Trumpaladin strength, and he stands straighter, taller.
"Indeed we shall. When we get back, we're going to wipe everyone of those bastards out as they would do to us"
Anonymous
rZoLl
?
No.64998
65000
>>64996
"Uh guys, what was that noise?"
Anonymous
1uaV9
?
No.64999
65001
>>64997
"You will have no control of my brutality,just so you know."
Anonymous
1uaV9
?
No.65000
>>64998
"Dunno."
Anonymous
eLfii
?
No.65001
>>64999
"Just be discriminate as to who you take it out on"
rjnHI
?
No.65002
65003
[1d20+5 = 16]
>>64996
"Oh, just what we needed.." Tracy says, her ears turning towards the sound like satellite dishes
Untrained Listen check, because why not

Anonymous
NoyBA
?
No.65003
65004 65007
>>65002
"There's peoples." says one of the children, looking out from the main entrance. A chorus of light sources reflect from the wall.
Mrs. Sentry
rjnHI
?
No.65004
65005 65006
>>65003
Tracy, not really thinking, swiftly moves to put herself between the children and the light sources.
Anonymous
1uaV9
?
No.65005
>>65004
"Dont worry kids. We'll protect you."
Anonymous
NoyBA
?
No.65006
65008 65009 65011
>>65004
Thez looks at her. "There's really not much time or option for that. We have a job to do, and it looks like we may be running out of time to do it," she says walking to stand adjacent to the miniature portal.
Anonymous
rZoLl
?
No.65007
>>65003
>"Uh, Torc?"
"I see it, I'm not blind."
>"Well what is it magic-ass?"
"I said I wasn't blind, I didn't say I was a genius"
Anonymous
rZoLl
?
No.65008
65010
>>65006
"Guess there's no time like the present for us to leave"
Torcuil gestures to Mr. Snek
"Ladies first"
Mrs. Sentry
rjnHI
?
No.65009
65010
>>65006
Well, she didn't say anything before doing it, but she turns hesitantly towards Thez.
Anonymous
NoyBA
?
No.65010
65012 65013 65017
>>65008
Snek of all the party, has the easiest time of things, simply slithering through the portal. Next would be Lenos (in Brownie form) who could simply walk through. Followed after would be Tracy.
>>65009
"What are you thinking?"
Anonymous
1uaV9
?
No.65011
65014 65022
>>65006
"Me not leave the kids!"
Mrs. Sentry
rjnHI
?
No.65012
>>65010
Tracy doesn't say anything, but bites her lip indecisively
rZoLl
?
No.65013
65016
[1d20+9 = 28]
>>65010
As Snek disappears through the portal Torc hears a faint hiss
>"Pearls before Swine"
As Snek pops out the other side he looks around for anything threatening Spot check
Anonymous
NoyBA
?
No.65014
65015 65017
>>65011
"And take them with us? To Hell?!"
Anonymous
1uaV9
?
No.65015
65016 65018
>>65014
"They will be raped again, they're not staying."
Anonymous
NoyBA
?
No.65016
65019
>>65013
He finds himself on a dim landscape covered in shattered stone. The ground around him is literally a pile of rubble. The air is stagnant and still, where if a dust particle were dislodged it would remain still in the air. The sky is a deep and foreboding red without more than a glow to suggest that maybe somewhere beyond whatever blanket covers the sky there might be a source of light.
>>65015
"You're not making things any easier!" she says, relenting and waving children through the portal,... into Hell.
"This is what you get for throwing random shit in there," Thez quips to GM
Mrs. Sentry
rjnHI
?
No.65017
65025
>>65014
>>65010
"Oh bucking roadapples..! I'll be back, girls!" Tracy cries back at her Angels before disappearing through the portal.
Mrs. Sentry
rjnHI
?
No.65018
65021
>>65015
Can you still cast Reduce Animal?
Anonymous
1uaV9
?
No.65019
65020
>>65016
*turns into a pickle*
Anonymous
NoyBA
?
No.65020
65021
>>65019
"YOU.... OAF!" Thez says, grabbing and retaining the pickle because now is not the time but its too late to do anything about it.

Anonymous
1uaV9
?
No.65021
65023 65025
>>65020
>>65018
*turns sam and bunny into kiwi birds*
Anonymous
eLfii
?
No.65022
65030
>>65011
"Are you daft? Their salvation comes in resetting this horrible timeline. Not in being literally sent to Hell"
Mrs. Sentry
rjnHI
?
No.65023
65024
>>65021
*grabs tiny-ass, blind birbs and bolts thru the portal*
Anonymous
eLfii
?
No.65024
65026 65028
>>65023
"Are you trying to double your number of birds here?"

Trumpaladin puts his hand on his face
Anonymous
NoyBA
?
No.65025
65030
>>65021
You can't do spells as a pickle
>>65017
As Tracy jumps through the portal, the two birds nod to themselves in a manner. They both fly and position themselves at the entrance to the tower, perched in such a way to protect and block the increasingly inbound presence. As they do so, several magical effects and spells streak out from the tunnel and sting at them.
Anonymous
NoyBA
?
No.65026
65028
>>65024
Sorry, no
Anonymous
rZoLl
?
No.65027
65029
"These absolute fucking idiots, what do they not ge-"
Torc realizes he's wasting his breath and gets in the newly formed line for the portal.

He then questions why he has to wait behind these children and decides to cut to the front.
Mrs. Sentry
rjnHI
?
No.65028
65029 65031
>>65024
"I don't want to leave them again!" Tracy shouts back
>>65026
Two Rocs is already more than enough.
Anonymous
eLfii
?
No.65029
65032 65035
>>65027
"Hey! You're a filthy cutter, you dirty line butter!"

>>65028
"So you literally send them to Hell?"
Anonymous
1uaV9
?
No.65030
>>65025
*unpickles and casts it.*
>>65022
"Me dont care, they come with us now."
Anonymous
NoyBA
?
No.65031
65033 65034
>>65028
By no I mean, I'm not allowing Infernius to alter them in pickle state, and thereby their giant asses are perched (literally) at the entrance so the party can get their happy asses through the portal like they ought to be doing.
Anonymous
1uaV9
?
No.65032
>>65029
"They be raped here, me not let that happen, and the rocs can help us."
Mrs. Sentry
rjnHI
?
No.65033
>>65031
[sad poner noises]
Anonymous
1uaV9
?
No.65034
65036 65039
>>65031
As a mage once said, "Fuck your plans"
Anonymous
rZoLl
?
No.65035
>>65029
"Ah fuck you too, now get over here before I find a way to drag you through"
Anonymous
NoyBA
?
No.65036
65037
>>65034
Not this time. Sammy and BunBun have made their choice. They're making sure the party still has a chance.
Mrs. Sentry
rjnHI
?
No.65037
>>65036
[sad poner noises]
".. I-I promise I be back this time..!" Tracy says, tears streaming from her faces as she dives through.
Anonymous
NoyBA
?
No.65038
65043
Thez, in her best Arnold impression, yells, "Get to the portahl!"
Anonymous
eLfii
?
No.65039
65041
>>65034
"Infernius. They'll be fine. Better actually once we reset the timeline. They will be worse off if they follow us. Give it up"
Anonymous
rZoLl
?
No.65040
"Welp, stay if you guys want. But my Snek is on the other side"
Torcuil dives through
Anonymous
1uaV9
?
No.65041
>>65039
"Fine"
*disgusted Minotuar face*
*turns back into a pickle*
Anonymous
UCAK4
?
No.65042
65044
Whenever everyone gets done fooling around and goes through the portal, Stix will follow in
Mrs. Sentry
rjnHI
?
No.65043
65044
>>65038
Tracy has passed thru, regretful but determined.
Anonymous
eLfii
?
No.65044
65046
>>65042
*shrugs*

Trumpaladin goes through

>>65043
"They're damned birds. Calm down"
Anonymous
NpdlP
?
No.65045
Lenos is through and waiting impatiently arms folded and foot tapping for everyone else
Mrs. Sentry
rjnHI
?
No.65046
>>65044
"I AM CALM!!!"
Anonymous
NoyBA
?
No.65047
65048
Fae stands there looking dryly at Thez.
Anonymous
eLfii
?
No.65048
65049
>>65047
"I'll call you from the otherside"
Anonymous
NoyBA
?
No.65049
65051
>>65048
Fae sighs and joins Sam and Bunny, as a large contingent of armed and armored troops collide with them. Thez ushers Addy through, and then follows behind.

Anonymous
NoyBA
?
No.65050
65052
On the other side is a wasteland. As each person pops through they're immediately impressed by the silence of it all. Sound hardly seems to travel, and the sky is a deep red. In the distance is a mountain of sorts, dotted with light sources.
Anonymous
eLfii
?
No.65051
>>65049
Trumpaladin kisses her before going through
"don't worry, you'll get that hellish business trip you've always wanted"
Anonymous
rZoLl
?
No.65052
65053
>>65050
The silence is broke by a hissing
>"Finally, you idiots made it"
Anonymous
1uaV9
?
No.65053
>>65052
"No u"
Anonymous
NoyBA
?
No.65054
65055
"I take it that's where we're headed?" Ponimaru asks, indicating the obvious structure. Thez looks down and kicks at something buried in the rubble. "Yeah, that's the place."
"This place smells funny," Addy whispers.
Anonymous
NpdlP
?
No.65055
65056 65057
>>65054
"Addy you havent smelled your father much if you think this place smells funny" lenos stage whispers
Anonymous
rZoLl
?
No.65056
65057
>>65055
"I was just about to say the same thing"
Anonymous
1uaV9
?
No.65057
65059
>>65056
>>65055
"Hey me bathe every now and then."
Anonymous
eLfii
?
No.65058
65060
Trumpaladin now CALLS FAE
Anonymous
rZoLl
?
No.65059
65063
>>65057
>"(((Now and then)))"
"Noodle here is right"
NoyBA
?
No.65060
65068
[1d20 = 3]
The ground beneath crumbles beneath everyone's feet, more arid than one would imagine anywhere could be. The silence of the surrounding environment has an eerie nature to it, as though the landscape its self is looking back at each expectantly.
>>65058
Who appears sweating and excited, and not in a lewd sense. Thez meanwhile lifts the portal device over her head to send it crashing down against the ground.
Anonymous
NpdlP
?
No.65061
*tosses snek another choclate covered cygnomebyte*>ya now and then is right
Anonymous
NoyBA
?
No.65062
65066 65069
Despite the crappy roll, its still a success cuz crazy BAB. The large group of children who someone thought it would be a good idea to bring along are all looking unemotionally expectantly at the party, a few of whom have started stirring rocks with their feet.
Anonymous
1uaV9
?
No.65063
65064 65066
>>65059
"Have you smelled torc?"
Anonymous
NpdlP
?
No.65064
65065
>>65063
I try not too
Anonymous
1uaV9
?
No.65065
65067
>>65064
"He smell like shit and mountain dew."
Anonymous
rZoLl
?
No.65066
65067
>>65063
"At least I try to bathe"
>>65062
"Who... Who brought the fucking kids"
Anonymous
NoyBA
?
No.65067
65071
>>65065
"Its your fault he smells like shit though," Thez quips.
>>65066
"It certainly wasn't my idea," she says, raising her hands. "I thought we were going to war. Against that, by the way," she says, gesturing at the obvious mountain.
Anonymous
eLfii
?
No.65068
65070
>>65060
"What happened?"

Anonymous
eLfii
?
No.65069
65072
>>65062
"Wait. I thought Infenius left them? Are they going to be stuck in hell forever?"
Anonymous
NoyBA
?
No.65070
65073 65074
>>65068
"You seem to have pissed of a whole lot of jews by assaulting the grove. Sam and Rabbit are,..." she looks at Tracy and says unconvincingly, "Fine, I'm sure."
Anonymous
rZoLl
?
No.65071
>>65067
"Well this is fucking great"
>"Welp, we gotta either get rid of them or hide them"
Anonymous
1uaV9
?
No.65072
>>65069
"This timeline will cease to be."

Anonymous
eLfii
?
No.65073
65075 65085
>>65070
Did Fae just lie? She's lawful good

Mrs. Sentry
rjnHI
?
No.65074
65075
>>65070
>rabbit
[audible grumbling]
Anonymous
NoyBA
?
No.65075
65076 65085
>>65073
If everything works out, Sam and Bunny will be fine, so it isn't a lie.
>>65074
I almost had her call him Samuel Xp