That Bitch stares at Trump thoughtfully and appraisingly. At several moments she begins to speak, but then stops. Trump isn't sure if she's having difficulty formulating the words/response, or is unsure how to respond at all. At last, she appears to make some sort of mental connection, and her face brightens. She punches in her ID for a few moments, and turns back to Trump.
"You can have both," she says. "At first I was having trouble recalling this collection of knives, but then I remembered the meme that was shared," she says, holding up her ID to show them.
This thread continues the continuing RP thread that has been continuing - essentially every weekend (and much throughout the week) - and now continues. Playersfaggots are welcome to join, and shitposting/bantz - within reason - is open to faggots and spectators. It's D&D 3.5e+ rules (+ = whatever else we throw in), and since there's so many previous threads with far more effective OP descriptions I'll just get back to it.
Looking at the ID, Trump and Tracy can see a still image of a uniformed individual holding Tracy's Efficient Quiver, with a perplexed look on his face, facing the camera man. Pushing the screen, the image plays and displays the man slowly turning the quiver over and a broom closet full of assorted knives, daggers, kunai, and other assorted blades falls out onto the ground, along with a few pieces of ridiculously elaborate jewelry. As the last of the knives falls out on the floor in a pile about 8' around at the base and 3-1/2' tall, the uniformed man looks back at the camera and says, "What the fuck," before the video stops.
Did I mention that Trump is disguised as an Orangutan (a fashionable one named Clyde), and Tracy as a monster truck?
Meanwhile, Torcuil has been on an enjoyable impromptu date with Death, and has had a delightful time of it all. She's much less intimidating in a hoodie and sweat pants,... and without the skull-face (which is really just a mask that goes with the cloak) she's a pretty down to earth chick,... who goes around and collects the souls of the dead vocationally. They walk together through town after a lovely meal, returning to Trump Tower.
Stix and Snek are likewise returning to the Tower, having located Stix' prized dagger from the previous encounter/scrimmage with Thez.
Elsewhere, an adorable filly adds more sticks to her bundle. A statue of Alex Jones sits in the tower, looking very sad. A Yak is busy putting the Gestapo and the Generals through some martial training drills. Thez however,....
1169 replies and 55 files omitted.
>>62033“Undead? That’s a new one to me. What are they like? Fast, slow, anything I should know going in?”
>>62037"They're boring." Tracy groans
"They don't feel fear or pain or suffering. Just walking bags of stinking filth."
>>62038“Better boring than dangerous... then we can get out of here and do something exciting.”
>>62037Fae seems a bit calmer now, more refined in response to this question than before
"The undead come in all forms. I've killed flying small ones, human zombies, mummies, strangely shapen ones. They are a diverse set. Always terrible tasting. You should expect both fast and slow. Be sure to have a magic weapon when facing one. And be sure you have the fortitude to withstand the curses they may place on you. The Wizard - you may remember him from on the deck - he got mummies rot and did not take it well. Of course, he has a soft neck to him, so I cannot say I am surprised"
>>62038*Glares*
>>62039Fae loses her composure now
"How about a Football game!"
>>62039"They're still dangerous. They're immune to most of the tricks that would otherwise kill most of the living. A lot of them have ability drain on contact, and they carry all kinds of diseases."
>>62040>glaresundead r gay
>>62041>carry all kinds of diseases"A bit like someone else I know"
>>62043If she carried diseases, I'd already have weaponized them.
>>62039>wants excitement>pic unrelated
>>62040“Well... I have no magical weapon. And I don’t suppose I know how to treat a curse.”
>football game“Sounds like an excellent idea for when this mission is complete.”
>>62041“Not sure what an ability drain is, but disease I know I want no part of. Think this bow I have can help slow them down?”
>>62046the double-ended sword is magical. It's a banesword for animals and magical beasts.
>bow"Better than nothing. Stay back and be ready to fire.'
>>62046"Do not worry about a weapon."
Fae turns around and towards Trumpaladin, and touches him with a paw.
Trumpaladin now speaks to Stix. "So you made it here. I'm surprised to see you. Fae says you need a weapon"
Trumpaladin takes a moment and pulls a bow from his back
"This was handed to me from Thez before we went to rescue Infenius in the Court City. It has a history to itself, a sad one. But that is a story for another day. It is magical, and the arrows it fires will help you against your enemies. More so than any mundane bow"
*hands Bob's bow, a +2 shortbow, to Stix*
"So she tells me you are interested in a Football game?"
There must have been telepathy or
something, because you didn't hear Fae say anything to him
>>62029Unfreeze tonight or no?
>>62049Oh no, I have
WAY too many numbers to crunch and values to determine
But I am enjoying the bantz,... almost like waiting on an elevator.
>"Do I get to fight?"
"No, I was planning on not using you"
>"Cool, gives me time to catch up on my sleep"
>>62048“Wow! Thank you. I hope to repay your kindness sometime. And of course I’m interested... I hardly know it, so I want to learn about it.”
>>62051If
I roll a 20
>>62053It has a single arrow to go with, a matte-black shafted arrow with gold fletching and a boxing glove for an arrow-head.
>>62053"I am not done yet, little pony. Hold your forelegs up"
Trumpaladin reaches for the bag on Fae's back and pulls an object from it
>>62055Stix sits down and holds up his forelegs
>>62056Fuck that's cuteTrumpaladin takes two objects and clicks them on to Stix's forelegs
"Bracers of Armor. They emit a magical force that helps you deflect attacks somewhat. I had this set constructed for me before we went to rescue Infernius from the Court City. I got a better set when we re-killed Ruth Bader Ginsburg, so this has been extra for me. As for the Bow, it's the sad story of an elf named Bob whose entire village was massacred before being found in a castle in the abyss by Thez.... I can't remember most of the details, ask her."
>>62052"I hope you practiced with the gun I gave you"
>"I did, and I got pretty good. You where a great inspiration""Awwwwwwwwwwww, that's touching Mr. Sn-"
>"Yeah, sketches of your face make a great target""..."
>>62057“The more I hear about your adventures, the less I feel adequate. I will definitely ask about all of your tales, but for now, thank you. I have no idea how I’m going to pay all of this back.”
>>62059Trumpaladin smiles, and pats Stix
"Don't be silly. You have nothing to pay back, just come to a Football game this Sunday and watch the Generals play the Spartans. Fae will be officiating"
Not sure if cloak should go to Fae to Stix... I guess the other one went to Torcuil
>>62060“Which team do we root for?”
>>62062"In politics and diplomacy you root for both, as they are both from great cities, and are stocked with great and noble men. But when the first pass is thrown, you
always, always root for the Home team. That'd be the Port Barry Generals. I trained them both of course."
Trumpaladin smiles
>>62063“Always root for home team. Got it. How many games have your team won?”
>Thez is glad Torcuil doesn't talk much
"No offense,"
>loving the dialogue, you guys r the best, just expressing her character in context
>>62064"We haven't had foreign teams to play, so until now we've always had the team split into two, bring in the reserves, and played those against each others. Thanks to Baz's exchange program, we now have a team in Sparintenar. I'm hoping to set up a stadium there as well. Now if you asked me about the team I played for in college...."
Trumpaladin goes silent for a moment
"This was supposed to just be a quick stop on the way to Gatesil. I wanted to expand Football to that domain, and see about some meaningful opposition to Kefka and his Court"
>>62066“Kefka? I don’t recall that name.”
>>62067"It's a name you best learn and remember. Emperor Kefka is an archmage who has reached an incredible degree of magical power. He thinks that meaning can only be found in destruction, and that is how he governs, exacting terrible tribute and destroying wontonly. After much of Port Barry was destroyed in a demon attack the coffers were emptied in the reconstruction. the Port missed a payment and kefka himself came down. He rode atop a dragon type lizard - the Tarasque. We had to fight him in the Stadium. We sliced at him and shot him, and it seemed he was slain by spell from the wizard when Kefka was down on his luck. His tarasque came later. We had six party members when that happened, plus Thez and Trollestia and Fae, and never since have we been at that level of strength. But he came back, easily, which only discovered recently. So did his Tarasque. He was messing with us"
The goldfish/orangutan cosplay is still in full effect for the next hour in game btw.
>>62057Is your character carrying all of the party's equipment?
>>62070If so, give Tracy the Wand of False Life.
She could also use the rope and the cuffs, so she can capture the enemy before they teleport away.
>>62070No, I've just managed to gather enough equipment to stock a new player
>>62071He keeps the wand of life on his horse
>>62072Does that mean she can use it?
Also, are those the +3 Bracers Tracy stole from Korak?
>>62073Yes. I'm less sure about the bracers. She should have upgraded to the +4 bracers dropped by Nanci Pelosi, although she won't stay still long enough for a sequence. As I said in the post itself, Trumpaladin should have an extra set from the Court City mission
Do the AC from those bracers stack, like armor?
>>62076Actually, do armor and deflection stack at all? I ditched the Hydra skin when I saw the bracers provided more AC.
>>62077I never paid very close attention to armor rules, because my character only ever wore light barding, but I was just wondering what stacked and what didn't.
[1d20+20 = 25]
[1d20+20 = 32]
Trumpaladin realizes there are not one, but two ponies within reach
HUGS!
>>62080You cannot grapple two targets at once.
>>62081YES I CAN HUG
ALL THE PONIES MOM!
*hugs*
Are do undead still need to make Concentration checks when casting spells under stressful circumstances?
>>62083I mean, I know they use their Charisma for Concentration, but I was wondering if it was worth using caltrops or setting casters on fire, since they don't feel pain.
>>62084Your character is being HUGGED
>>62084Whatever, Tracy has her tanglefoot bags.
*Readies ball of disgusting goo* (still hiding behind the other PCs)
>tfw discord doesn't work on mobile
*sharpens knives on sharpening stone*
>>62088She's being hugged
>>62089She can still do that.
>>62082*hugs back*
>>62068“Sounds like quite the character. I’m sure he makes his mother proud.”
Chuckles
“He may be tough and all, but he doesn’t sound all that sane. Perhaps we can out wit him.”
>>62091*eyes dart around to see if anyone is watching*
*rubs nose on pony*
"At the moment we are looking for ways to weaken him. The thing is that all of us together can barely fight him. But it's not just him. It's an entire army or more. I was heading to Gatesil for allies to help us. Anyways, there may be weakness in his own alliance. He appeared to us while in Sparintenar. He seemed to be showing off and taunting us, but I think he had a different purpose. The Lady here, here in Cardishil. She told me she did not trust the Court. That is what we are here, in this room for. To fight representatives of the Emperor's Court."
>>62092“Hmm...he likes destruction, this Kefka, right? Then could we convince him to destroy our enemies? Don’t they stand in his way of destroying all he can, even more than we do?”
>>62065"Um, none taken? What are we talking about?"
>>62093"I think he's getting us to destroy
his enemies at the moment"
>>62095“So it’s either we help him or we lose to one force or another. Interesting move. I will admit.”
>>62096"In the smarter days of the Crusades, the Crusaders exploited the distrust between the Emirate of Damascus and the Mamluks. It was when they invaded Egypt, and set themselves at war with the both of them that they truly doomed the whole venture."
>>62097“Then we need to make sure we don’t invade any Egypts.”
>>62076>>62077You can have armor AND a deflection bonus, but can't stack deflections.
>>62083Yes
>>62087U need an app
>>62094"Nothing at the moment, but I should warn you,... it may be a bumpy landing." She says, since it'll be put to a dice roll.
>>62099Depends on the method. By mundane means? A while. Magical? Not so much.
>>62101*dabs on creatures*
>>62099
Okay.
Tracy takes off her Ring of Protection and instead puts on that Ring of Fire Resistance.
>>62103"Do you want to use the ring, pony?
I'm sure that Ring of Animal friendship you have on your neck will be much more helpful than the +3 AC from the ring that is tied to the hairs in your tail and will be a literal pain in the ass to remove. I'm sure of it"
>>62104The Ring of Protection doesn't stack with her +4 Bracers. And the Ring of Animal Friendship is mostly for novelty.
>>62105The Bracers provide an Armor bonus, not a deflection bonus. Yes it does.
>>62105How else do you think high level spell casters have any armor except by wearing bracers at the same time as rings? All three of the Lichs had both
Ah, it appears I was mistaken.
>>62109That shadow armor mess-up was a shame...
[1d20+20 = 29]
[1d20+20 = 34]
Rolling to pet ponies simultaneous with hugs
Someone use Detect Undead to tell us if we're about to fight zombies or not.
>>62112>>62101Trumpaladin Casts Detect Undead
Yes, Bracers of Armor give an armor bonus. Hmmm. That would suggest that they don't stack with mundane armor.
Which is absurd desu
>>62116What about Brad's second suit? Do they stack, or is it just for the magical properties?
>>62099
Infernius, would you help Tracy rebuild Durpistan with your magick?
>>62119Technically they shouldn't, but I'm not ready to nerf that shit yet
Game will be on hiatus for this weekend.
Surely you know what it is,... look at the date
Trumpaladin turns turns to Stix and pats him on the shoulder, but he says nothing as he moves to mount Fae's back. He pulls a helmet, polished and steel, from the bag she carries on her back, and carefully attempts to strap the helmet onto her. Though it does not fit her skull, he is able to rest the helmet upon her head well enough. He says to her, "take us up." Instantaneously, the helmet activates a portal that send her, and he on her back, 100 feet up. They enter in wooden walls and take damage as the y are pushed aside to open air. But Trumpaladin removes the Cardishore ID from his pocket and looks at the instant map. He follows it to a gate that then in turn sends them to the main stage area. Fae unfurls her bat like wings, and flies upward. Away from the party deep below, through the open hole in the dome, past the waiting robots and the hovering airship.
"East. We go east," he commands her, and the Dragonne places her legs back as she glides Eastward over trees, towards greensil and gates up in the far distance, and away from Cardishore, the party, the airship, Sparintenar, and Port Barry. The sun was setting, and the trees were dark where they shaded each other. He thinks of looking back, at the direct I'm b if the people who had shaped and denied so much of his second beginning at life. But when he tries, the sun fills his eyes and he winces, then turns back as he flies toward the darkness.
Please be kind to him. He was very important to me.
>>62138Stix cries a bit, seeing his friend leave as he did. But Stix holds out hope that he will see his friend once again...
“Till next time, Mr. Knight.”
Haven't I made it clear that nobody dies?
Alright. Two things happen simultaneously.
First, Torcuil has an immediate and fatal brain aneurysm, because the mad bastard tried to comprehend an artifact given by Trollestia. He wakes up in the Entertron, and he's still hungry.
At the same time Trump pours a pint of grain alcohol into the willing mouth of Vandereim, who belches soundedly.
This scene will be allowed to play out, though it has little bearing on the conclusion of the previous session's situation.
>>62144Okay, first question, and this is to Vanderium
"Do you have a preferred variety or brand of Alcohol? For future reference, I mean"
>>62144>SighTorc walks from the entertron to the stable and puts all his gear back on
"Fucking aneurysms"
>"Get rekt"
>>62144The artifact is Stix’ mysterious acorn, and acts like a radio.
“So... have you a reason for calling, Trollestia?”
>>62145"Yeh, in me mouth." he slurs a bit.
For reference, Torcuil was examining an oversized acorn proffered by Stix, which had recently begun talking with Trollestia's unmistakable voice. They were going somewhere with that, oh yes.
>>62147"Do I ever?" she says, after which Stix has a brain aneurysm and dies suddenly, waking up in the entertron across from Torcuil. Apparently there are multiple entertrons now,... that's new,.... Its almost as though the party is going to die a whole lot more for some reason.
I'm too autistic not to ask: why is a dagger less effective than a weighted chain against zombies? A zombie's DR is 5/slashing, while a weighted chain deal bludgeoning damage.
>>62143>>62148Just saying...
Stix is terribly confused... and hungry.
“Wha? What just happened?”
He looks around.
“Torc, were we attacked?”
>>62149"Because you're using it wrong."
>>62150I assume Torcuil and Stix would then rejoin Trump and Vandereim, wherever the hell they happen to be.
>>62151"A dagger can do piercing OR slashing damage. XP"
>>62150"Fucking brain aneurysms"
>>62149Oh so
now you come out to talk
>>62152Trumpaladin entered the Stables after Stix
[1d20 = 1]>>62148Well, if I'm going to die anyway.Tracy sunders the acorn.
>>62154“What? How? Did Trollestia do this to us?”
[2d20 = 19]>>62155As Stix and Torcuil return to the stables, Vandereim belches a huge gout of fire. Rolling saving throws for Stix and Torcuil in that order.
>>62156Hey.. that’s mine.
>>62156>gets a 1 trying to destroy a gift from TrollestiaThis has to hurt. I have to make this one hurt.
>>62158Oh come on
>>62161>FilenameOH COME ON
>>62148"So.... you're an older artifact, err, sword, right? Who owned you before me? That Cecil guy?"
>>62162I almost expected it, desu.
[2d6 = 9]>>62163Torcuil gets burnded
>>62164"Nae, not that lilly bastard."
>>62165For the strangest reason, Tracy suddenly feels like giving up all her worldly belongings.
>>62166"Aye. Who then? How'd the Rats get you?"
Trumpaladin takes a note to never attempt to sever an artifact
>>62166*Sells swag and uses shekels to build an orphanage*
>>62168My God... who are you?
>>62167"Itz a long story lad, but me last proper owner was a lad named Ga'ren. Not a paladin mind ye, but a proper cavalier. He lived the paladin's code even tho he got no magic or benefits for it. Strong as that Bull (Infernius) and smart as that skinny boy (Torcuil) on a good day."
>>62170"He's the reason the game came into being in the first place."
>>62168*walks away slowly*
>>62170>>62171"Who is this Ga'ren? Where did he come from and what did him in"
>>62169"I'm sure the children will be much happier having a new home than I was carrying around all that junk." Tracy says with a smile
>>62172"Its been a long time, I forget the specifics, but basically he was killed because the GM didn't like Ga'ren's player and pulled some meta shit."
>>62168Immediately upon doing so, Tracy snaps back to her old self. She has nothing.
>>62173Only Tracy can make that statement sound almost disgusting
>>62174"Fascinating. So how did you come to be?"
>>62176"Oh I was there the whole time! I was only an Intelligent Sword with a few bonuses back then, but I've been refined a wee times like I was the master sword n shit."
At this point in the story, I would like to make a comment about devices. Have you ever seen a metal lathe? If you hadn't, would you have any idea what it does or how it operates? This is how it is with the machines in the strip-mall area of the tower. Its not that they're one machine designed to do a particular thing, its a variety of machines with a variety of purposes, all together which achieve a precise function.
>>62177"So I know you're super sharp, you can talk, you can shoot fire, and you can cleave. What else can you do? Also... who made you then?"
I can't post pics for some reason
>>62180What is the error message?
>>62181There is none. Nothing happens when I click the box.
>>62174The mace was cursed...
>>62179"His name was Warzdid the Wondrous Mage Most Magnificent - a compatriot of Ga'ren's - after a long and rich campaign."
>>62178How does one learn to use them?
"Lets see, I can detect alignment, I'm light as a feather sometimes,..."
>>62186... Somewhere once, in the stables of the tower ...
>>62187Find yourself a professional. Someone who can take a 10 on a DC 35
>>62185"And they made you to be an intelligent sword? Did he want company?"
>>62183This was the problem we had with the drag and drop system. You may have accidentally selected that, it may be something with your browser, or it may be a new problem caused by updates to the Javascript that have just been added. My guess is either you just didn't click something right, or there's something on your end. Are you using a phone?
Posting test image
>>62188"Well I knew those...... I just forgot...."
Looks away in shame
>>62188What happened to the acorn?
>>62189I'm using a phone
It works on /test/
>>62189"Nae, it was so we could cause trouble to evil-doers! Since he had no magic and no steed, Warzdid figured he'd give him a unique advantage. Nobody expects the sword to *be* a character!"
In game terms, that allowed Warzdid's player to role-play shenanigens while Warzdid was memorizing spells and meta couldn't join in.
>>62192Is it also in the stables?
>>62195Yes, it was on the floor when Tracy struck it and then went temporarily insane. Its still there now.
>>62194"I see. Want to tell me more about yourself? About Aeons gone by?"
>>62198"You just don't learn do you?"
[1d20 = 7]>>62200Tracy relentlessly continues her attempts to destroy the acorn.
What's it's hardness?
>>62199"Aye lad, in time. In time. Now, fetch me some more booz! I hear they have a tap in this version of the tower!"
>>62201No u
[1d20 = 8]
>tfw no daggers to cut through wood
*Crushes with hooves*
[1d20 = 17]>>62203Fuck you, tree egg!
>>62204The acorn disappears from Tracy's hooves.
>>62205*Snorts a tiny whisp of smoke*
"Grrr..!*
"Fucking white cunt is still around..!" Tracy curses, clearly put off after hearing Troll's voice
>>62202"Uh... okay"
Trumpaladin heads towards the kitchen, and once there, retrieves whiskey from the tap
*sniffs ground, just making sure the acorn is gone*
Fucking acorn.
This isn't over.
>>62188>Looks towards LenosOn what check? Crafting or use magical device?
Detect Good to sense traces of magick from that acorn.
>>62215Like that'll stop me.
>>62173*Constructs plaground, school and Gay marriage field behind orphanage*
*takes birdies for a walk*
So whatever happened to the acorn?
>>62229It "disappeared from her hooves", but did it ever reappear?
>>62230I'm going to kill that acorn.
>>62229>>62230>>62231She can't just keep getting away with it!
If it has hit points, you can break it. Nothing is indestructible.
I will find da wey.
Hey, Torc, remember to send Felicia back.
Fug, we're gonna have a lot of players...
*continues grinding in holodeck* for combat expertise
*Grinds in Holodeck for Weapon Focus*
>>62266*trains improved bull rush*
>>62268Didn't he do that already with Tracy?
Learn Awesome Blow.
>"Torcuil and Death sittin in a tree"
"Damn you"
>"K-I-S-S-I-N-G"
"What are you, 10?"
>"First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes Torcuil pushing a baby carriage."
"I hate you"
>"No you don't"
>>62271I love snek and torcs comedy act. Ever think about becoming a comic?
>>62272Honestly? No.
Mainly cause I can't draw
*brushes birdies*
*Fixes their bows*
>>62266*training regime abruptly changes to Spring Attack*
Alright then, let's begin. When we last left off in any sort of story-line sense, the party was speeding in their variety of ways to Infernius' rescue/retrieval. Trump, Fae, Stix, Torcuil, Snek, and Tracy all stand before a thick set of vault doors, themselves in a room maybe 30'x30'. At the same time, Thez and Torcuil speed toward Infernius through the floor and underground structure of Cardashil via the ethereal plane, this time without the aid of flying midgits.
As the Double doors come forcefully to a halt, they can see the room is dark, apparently having no light source inside. A few dozen feet out, they can see the beginnings of remains, bits and pieces. Beyond that, there begin to be larger portions, legs and arms. Then torsos, then bodies. An eerie silence issues from the open doors.
>>62234What spell was used for this anyway? Was it Lesser Planar Binding?
>>62278*Is still hiding behind rest of party as cover, hoping for a sneak attack*
>>62278>"Uh, where's the idiot who feeds me?"Meanwhile, on the ethereal planeTorcuil (not being burdened with leprechauns) says something quite calmly and rationally to Thez.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"
>>62278Cast Daylight into the room, if that is possible
Isnt lenos with trump and tracy?
>>62283Yes, and Stix and Fae in the 30x30 room looking into the dark, opened room
>>62278I forget do i have my items or not?
Are there any stix or something rigid at least 2 feet long?
>>62286Are you looking for a staff?
>>62286We have a pony named stix that is at least 2 feet long
>>62283Yes, I forgot Lenos in the initial description.
>>62282Beaming light of purest Footbal springs forth from Trump illuminating further into the room showing further in the amount of debris along into this room is excessive and massive in scale. So much so, that the way in is more of a path of the lowest wedge between two piles. The way forward is narrow and difficult to maneuver.
A
*ding!* sound emits from all the assembled IDs.
In response to the sunlight rays that pierce the darkness so obviously a wave of screeching hiss sounds can be heard all over in the distance.
>>62289*reeeees at hissing*
>>62289Trumpaladin checks his ID with a move action, and Detects evil as a standard action. If both are not possible, check ID for the message
>>62289*Ducking for cover intensifies*
*Readies weapons*