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Dysfunctional Nuts
Anonymous
BK2bC
?
No.51841
53658
Can the party avoid tearing each-other's throat out? Can they successfully complete the dungeon and rid Port Barry of the giant glass octahedron that sits motionless a short way off the docks? Will GM have an aneurysm from it all?

Welcome back to the Nuts RP thread, where new faggots (players) are always welcome and previous faggots interact based increasingly loosely on D&D 3.5e core rules.

This thread begins with Thez completing a marvelous and unplanned concert now that she can cast "Dancing lights!" again, and a large crowd has formed around the square, where both Infernius and Trump appear to be intending to address the crowd, Thez having vacated the impromptu stage with several bouquets of flowers and adoring cheers from the crowd.
She has obscene skill pertaining to "Perform"
1730 replies and 204 files omitted.
Anonymous
C6gcl
?
No.53395
53397
>>53393
>>53390
*hides erection*
Mrs. Sentry
PHGLm
?
No.53396
53409
I'd rather put the symbol right on her plot, but idk if that's allowed. Putting it on the robe would make it into an even more effective weapon, and would effectively allow her to attack her enemies with Cloak Dance.
Anonymous
YTOhe
?
No.53397
53398 53399
>>53395
reeeee
*pulls pony ass away from Minotaur and hides it*
Anonymous
C6gcl
?
No.53398
>>53397
"Not my fault,*mumbles something about ponies and childhood*"
Mrs. Sentry
PHGLm
?
No.53399
53400
>>53397
"Don't worry, Flashy. My plot belongs to you now."
YTOhe
?
No.53400
53401
[1d20-9 = -2]
>>53399
"D'aww"
*put pony in his lap*
Mrs. Sentry
PHGLm
?
No.53401
53402
>>53400
*gets in lap*
Anonymous
YTOhe
?
No.53402
53403
>>53401
Tracy notices that Trumpaladin failed to hide his sexual penetration of her

*hugs pony, and nuzzles*
Mrs. Sentry
PHGLm
?
No.53403
53404
>>53402
*nuzzles back*
Anonymous
YTOhe
?
No.53404
53405
>>53403
*nuzzles a little more*
"Well, I can't say I know where to go from here"
*puts both hands on pony rump and humps*
Mrs. Sentry
PHGLm
?
No.53405
53406
>>53404
"What you you mean?"
*pushes back*
Anonymous
YTOhe
?
No.53406
53407
>>53405
"I feel like I'm shit out of luck. Like what I thought I knew was wrong, like now it will all come down crashing upon me"
*thrusts into pony*
Mrs. Sentry
PHGLm
?
No.53407
53408
>>53406
"Does that worry you, Flashy? Even if things get tough, I'll be here for you."
*humps back, pushing her soft, pillowing plot-cheeks into his groin*
Anonymous
YTOhe
?
No.53408
53410
>>53407
*hugs pony*
"I guess it does worry me. What are we to do?"
but he's already deep inside her, pushing against her walls with great force
Anonymous
BK2bC
?
No.53409
53411 53412
>>53381
Yes, now is the time for that
>>53386
Kek
>>53396
So, an enchanted tattoo? "I've got one of those!"

Mrs. Sentry
PHGLm
?
No.53410
53413
>>53408
"Well, that's for you to decide, isn't it? What do you want to do?"
*plot cheeks flatten against him, her insides winking and clamping down with herculean might*
Mrs. Sentry
PHGLm
?
No.53411
53418
>>53409
Great, she could use a thin veil of the AoD to slightly obscure Cage's face, but use it as a weapon on other times.
Is mooning your enemy considered a free action if you're not wearing pants?
Anonymous
C6gcl
?
No.53412
>>53409
"Hey thez me got something for you."
Anonymous
YTOhe
?
No.53413
53414 53416
>>53410
"I don't know... I guess look for allies? We can't do this alone"
And now, Tracy learns the strength of Man, as the invading appendage hardens almost to a diamond and pushes back against the walls with incredible might, invading and retreating repeatedly, second by second
Mrs. Sentry
PHGLm
?
No.53414
53415
>>53413
"What kind of allies are you looking for, and for what?"
*clamps down*
Anonymous
YTOhe
?
No.53415
53417
>>53414
"Anyone to fight or distract"
Alas, she does not have the power to stop him. *thrusts anyways*
Anonymous
C6gcl
?
No.53416
53418
>>53413
*changes into pegasus*
Mrs. Sentry
PHGLm
?
No.53417
53419
>>53415
*walls hug tightly*
Anonymous
BK2bC
?
No.53418
53420 53421 53426
>>53411
I suppose so, but the process of getting an enchanted tattoo as that will be extensive
>>53416
o_O
Anonymous
YTOhe
?
No.53419
53420 53421
>>53417
"Tracy, I'm really glad to have you here"
*hugs pony*
but is still strongly resisting the hugs inside of pony, where he maintains a sort of freedom of movement
Mrs. Sentry
PHGLm
?
No.53420
53422
>>53418
When I asked for it on the robe, I was referring to how Symbol of Insanity could be made permanent o objects or places with the Permanency spell. I figured a robe with such a deadly spell cast on it could make for a very effective weapon of disruption and chaos.
>>53419
"I'm glad to have you here too, Flashy."

Anonymous
LJZcR
?
No.53421
53423
>>53419
Oh great, the idiots are fucking again
>>53418
Cardishore time?
Anonymous
YTOhe
?
No.53422
53424 53425
>>53420
"I love you"
Tracy learns her resistance has not been in vain, as the invader halts, and let's forth a stream of liquid in aquescence
Mrs. Sentry
PHGLm
?
No.53423
53465
>>53421
I need to murder shit really quickly, if I want to recover the levels I'm about to give up.
Mrs. Sentry
PHGLm
?
No.53424
53425
>>53422
>resistance
>implying
Anonymous
LJZcR
?
No.53425
53427
96vpa50zuviz.png
>>53422
>>53424
Pic related marches in, slaps Trump with the stop sign and speaks
"Stop fucking already, Torc wants you at the airship."
He then disappears
Anonymous
C6gcl
?
No.53426
sketch-1517486733966.png
>>53418
>>53418

Mrs. Sentry
PHGLm
?
No.53427
53428
>>53425
*stops*
Anonymous
YTOhe
?
No.53428
53429 53430
>>53427
"Stab him!"
Mrs. Sentry
PHGLm
?
No.53429
53431
>>53428
"Stab who?"
Anonymous
C6gcl
?
No.53430
53433
>>53428
"Hey man back off! Thez my waifu!"
Anonymous
YTOhe
?
No.53431
53432
>>53429
"The guy who interrupted us and slapped me. Who else?"
Anonymous
LJZcR
?
No.53432
53434 53435
>>53431
He gone
Anonymous
YTOhe
?
No.53433
53438
>>53430
"Huh?"
Mrs. Sentry
PHGLm
?
No.53434
53436
>>53432
this
Anonymous
YTOhe
?
No.53435
53439 53440
>>53432
If only there were someone who were faster than you, could run, and could spot and search
Anonymous
YTOhe
?
No.53436
53437
>>53434
Well fuck you too
Mrs. Sentry
PHGLm
?
No.53437
53441
>>53436
He's gone though. There's nothing to stab
Anonymous
C6gcl
?
No.53438
>>53433
"No stab!"
Anonymous
LJZcR
?
No.53439
>>53435
You mean Snek?
Mrs. Sentry
PHGLm
?
No.53440
53443
>>53435
The thing, whatever it was, disappeared, probably stopped existing altogether.
She would've stabbed him otherwise.
Anonymous
YTOhe
?
No.53441
53442 53445
>>53437
You can't just attack and then move out of space suddenly
Anonymous
LJZcR
?
No.53442
53444
>>53441
But it was a summon
Anonymous
YTOhe
?
No.53443
53445
>>53440
Do you think I forget when that weeaboo horse disappeared and Tracy said "oh no you don't"?
Anonymous
YTOhe
?
No.53444
53447
>>53442
You didn't declare that. And stab the summon
Mrs. Sentry
PHGLm
?
No.53445
>>53441
Most conjurations stop existing as soon as their purpose is fulfilled.
>>53443
Fine, she stabbed him in the stomach right as he was disappearing.
Happy?
Anonymous
YTOhe
?
No.53446
"Whatever..."
Trumpaladin gets up and slouches off, away
Anonymous
LJZcR
?
No.53447
53448 53450
>>53444
To be fair, I never said it was Torc either
Anonymous
YTOhe
?
No.53448
53450 53451
>>53447
That's not how the phrase "to be fair" works
Mrs. Sentry
PHGLm
?
No.53449
53451
Tracy goes to the airship.
"Hey Torc, could you help me charge this wand?"
Anonymous
C6gcl
?
No.53450
1517225584337.jpg
>>53448
>>53447
So to speak
Anonymous
LJZcR
?
No.53451
53452
>>53448
To be fair...
Damn it you got me there.
>>53449
Torc picks it up and inspects it before turning towards the pony
"What is it?"
Mrs. Sentry
PHGLm
?
No.53452
53453 53460
>>53451
"True Strike."
Anonymous
YTOhe
?
No.53453
53454
>>53452
Trumpaladin slouches onto the airship
"Is there a reason not to take the generals, to at least have them protect the ship?"

He looks over at pony somewhat dissatisfied
Mrs. Sentry
PHGLm
?
No.53454
53455
>>53453
"Where are you going?"
Anonymous
YTOhe
?
No.53455
53456
>>53454
"I don't know. I thought I'd follow you all"
Mrs. Sentry
PHGLm
?
No.53456
53457
>>53455
"I was going to go get my knives back."
Anonymous
YTOhe
?
No.53457
53458
>>53456
"All of these things happen and what you care about is a few knives? You already have a plethora of weapons"
Mrs. Sentry
PHGLm
?
No.53458
53459
>>53457
"My knife-collection is special. I want it back."
Anonymous
YTOhe
?
No.53459
53464
>>53458
*Shrugs, then falls to the ground and lays there*
Anonymous
LJZcR
?
No.53460
53462
>>53452
"I guess, but it'd take a while"
Anonymous
C6gcl
?
No.53461
"Fine, me guess me will go farm."
*mumbles something about getting blue balled*
*goes and plant a watermelon patch*
Anonymous
LJZcR
?
No.53462
53463
>>53460
8 days exactly.
Mrs. Sentry
PHGLm
?
No.53463
>>53462
Ah, I guess it'd be keen to go craft the Greater Invisibility wand then.
Tracy can put two charges per day in the True Strike wand herself though.
Mrs. Sentry
PHGLm
?
No.53464
>>53459
*sits on*
Mrs. Sentry
PHGLm
?
No.53465
>>53423
Not entirely sure how much faster she'll grow though..
Anonymous
C6gcl
?
No.53466
53467 53469
Any npcs running around?
Mrs. Sentry
PHGLm
?
No.53467
>>53466
What kind of NPCs are you looking for?
Tracy could draw a crowd with her acrobatics.
PHGLm
?
No.53468
53471
[1d20+29 = 41]
Rolling to put on a performance anyway, because good stuff can happen if you do it every day.
Anonymous
BK2bC
?
No.53469
53470 53472
>>53466
Well if the party is headed to Cardishore, Darkie will be participating, looking for clues as to any activity by his former associates
Anonymous
C6gcl
?
No.53470
>>53469
I wanted to talk to my men about negros.
Anonymous
C6gcl
?
No.53471
53473
>>53468
Say that we are starting a watermelon patch while you perform.
Mrs. Sentry
PHGLm
?
No.53472
53505
>>53469
"Say, Spidey, mind telling us something about what this Cardishore place is like?"
Mrs. Sentry
PHGLm
?
No.53473
53474
>>53471
What's your watermellon farm called?
Anonymous
C6gcl
?
No.53474
>>53473
Uncle tom's watermelons
Mrs. Sentry
PHGLm
?
No.53475
53476
"Today's Performance was brought to you in part by Uncle Tom's watermelons."
Anonymous
C6gcl
?
No.53476
>>53475
"Yay!"
*claping Minotuar noises*
Anonymous
LJZcR
?
No.53477
53480
Torc begins to inspect the ship, with Snek helping
Mrs. Sentry
PHGLm
?
No.53478
53479
*feeds birds*
Can Tracy bring her birds on deck?
Mrs. Sentry
PHGLm
?
No.53479
53482
>>53478
*brings birds on deck to see what happens*
Anonymous
C6gcl
?
No.53480
53482 53483
>>53477
Can Infernuis bring his niggers on deck?
Anonymous
LJZcR
?
No.53482
53485
>>53479
"Cute birds"
Torc resumes the inspection, humming shanties as he goes along.
>>53480
I guess, but Torc won't be happy
Mrs. Sentry
PHGLm
?
No.53483
53484
>>53480
When did you get niggers?
Anonymous
C6gcl
?
No.53484
53485
>>53483
/sp/
Mrs. Sentry
PHGLm
?
No.53485
53487
>>53482
"I know right. They're absolutely adorable."
>>53484
Are they followers?
Actually, I could use some followers.
Mrs. Sentry
PHGLm
?
No.53486
53488
I'm assuming Kefka's blood won't be a good tempering fluid?
Anonymous
C6gcl
?
No.53487
53493
>>53485
What can followers do?
Anonymous
LJZcR
?
No.53488
53490 53494
Why we on overboard again?
>>53486
Ehhhh, maybe
Anonymous
BK2bC
?
No.53489
53491
We're way over the previous thread record
Anonymous
C6gcl
?
No.53490
53492
>>53488
Because i want some more consistent players
Anonymous
C6gcl
?
No.53491
>>53489
Muh watermelon
Anonymous
BK2bC
?
No.53492
>>53490
I could work to make the OPs more user friendly I suppose
Mrs. Sentry
PHGLm
?
No.53493
53495
>>53487
Not much combat-wise, because they're low-level NPCs.
I thought the Gestapo were your followers.
Mrs. Sentry
PHGLm
?
No.53494
>>53488
I want to make a special weapon for killing Abominations.
Anonymous
C6gcl
?
No.53495
53496 53498
>>53493
Nah i want fighting niggers, not house niggers.