This thread begins with Tracy and Trump stuck in a curious sort of trap, their only hope of escape being Infernius who is operating a control panel with around 40 buttons, only one of which will set them free and most of which result in some form of torture or death. The buttons bear the same obscure script as elsewhere which Infernius couldn't read even if it was comprehensible.
Welcome back to the Nuts RP thread, where we're about to go Saw on 2 of the party members!
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1238 replies and 134 files omitted.
>>50780>A Harem of knivesShow some devotion to
one of them anon
>MasterworkI think Sugoito's +7 magical bonus against stuff and Adamantium makeup is more usefull
>>50780Also, the Hardening spell has a permanent duration, so we can make tools even harder than the material the temple is made out of.
Torc, go reset the Dimensional lock on that temple before it gets away. It's a goldmine.
>>50781I'll find an occasion for him to bant soon damn it!
*Trumpaladin fills up several flasks full of alcohol*
>>50782You could always try slamming it into the glass to see if it works.
>>50782Says the guy who never tried hitting the temple with it,... cuz it would have worked
>>50786Yeah I thought about using it against that door
How do you create a +7 Enhancement bonus shatterspike anyway? Isn't it normal a +1 weapon?
>>50787Why didn't you? They were going to die.
>>50788It's a +3 longsword
>Why notAt first I was afraid that the dimetrium would cancel out the +7 magic bonus and could harm the weapon. If Trachemar had kicked it I would have had him try to attack the door with Sugoito
>>50788A "normal" shatterspike is a +1, +4 on sunder weapon/tool. This is a +4, +7 on sunder. Its uber cuz it helps fill out Thez' backstory and give personality and precedence with characters the party probably won't interact with.
>>50783Its also a death-trap,....
If we make glassteel tools oversized (like gargantuan), the hardening spell could reduce them in size, while granting them at lest +17 hardness.
>>50792>deathtrapWe'll just have to reduce it to little itty bits from the outside then.
We'll start by putting holes in the roof, to let the sunlight in and piss-off all of those spooks.
*readies diamond (enhanced glass) pickax*
>>50794>Letting in sunlight to disinfect the TempleNot a bad idea, so long as what's inside doesn't escape en mass
>>50794Maybe garganbtuan is an overstatement.
Glasteel is like super-mithril though. It's pretty light, despite it's
*carries over bags of material, and sets aside list of mundane tools that could be made out of diamond*
>>50795>long as what's inside doesn't escape en massWe'll just kill it as it rushes out then.
[1d20-8 = -12]*Sleight of Hand to undo own pants buttons subtly*
>>50796>Just kill itEh, the General's could use some xp too. Just remember that the area we are currently exploring is the portion below the waterline
>>50797>General's could use some xp tooI thought followers didn't earn XP?
>>50800I want to add some Druids or Sorcerers to Tracy's syndicate then.
>>50801GM would only let me give them Fighter levels though
>>50801>SyndicateJust don't commit crimes Trumpaladin would care about in places he'd care about against people he'd care about
>>50802Fighter is an elite class, just like Druid though.
I guess druids have a complex starting age.. Sorcerers will be fine.
>>50804You understand the difference
>>50803Nah, it won't be centered in Port Barry.
>>50802That's cuz they're not training in a way that makes sense for other classes.
>>50807I read through the Complete Divine and The Book Of Vile Darkness to try to make an NE cult. Can I train some shadow adepts?
>>50809Patience, I've only just finished the table of contents on the D&D sex book
>>50808They have no experience
as a paladin or cleric. They've
seen a paladin and cleric, but without a player they can't into specialized classes.
>>50811Eh, what I want them to do for right now is better done as Fighters. But they
are fighters for a holy cause
[1d20-8 = -2]
*tries to see if he has as much luck in buttoning back up his pants as undoing it*
>>50812BTW, where was shining armor in the movie?
>>50813(not with stealth)
>>50811>Fighter isn't a specialized classIs there any difference in training elite PC classes and Non-elite NPC classes? I read that their ability points are quantified differently , but IDK.
Fighters are in every way superior to Warriors, but it seems as though NPC followers are usually not given that class for some reason.
>>50814I don't recall seeing Shining Armor anywhere
>>50815>In every way superior to warriorsThey are in every way but one identical to warriors. That one way is the set of feats, which makes a difference, but isn't giant
>>50816>set of featsMakes all the difference when you don't really use skillz or magick.
I think they earn XP differently as well.
>>50817Not having skills or magic makes a big difference
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>>50818Hence, the new feat at every level.
Oy vey! Buy the complete martial SRD,
goyim! >>50823I outta go to bed as well pretty soon...
>>50823>>50825I finally
almost got my Bar application done... But I need to get a haircut tomorrow morning and make up for lost sleep
>>50825Between levels 20 and 26 there's a gap where I am not sure what class to advance Trumpaladin in. Because Divine Emissary allows advancement in spell casting as you take each new level it makes sense to give him a spell casting class, but it also makes more smiting sexy as well. What do you think?
>>50829Divine Emissary is only for literal demigods under vanilla rules, as far as I can tell...
Might check out the SRDs I read and see what I can suggest about advancement for an epic-level paladin after 20th level (I read it because most story themes that apply to paladins generally also apply to blackguards). There are always different ways to approach it and content to consider.
Of course, first they'd have to GET to epic-level first though, and that could take a while at this rate..
>>50830You missed the State of the Union event
>>50833I was there, I was just withholding my shitposts...
>>50830I gotta find a way to increase Tracy's Charisma too, desu..
>>50835Reeee I need the charisma!
That's what happens when you multi class into classes that are radically different from each other. You find you need too many diverse abilities
>>50836Well, when I first took the class, I for some reason thought her Char and Wis were 13 each..
>radically differentNot much, really. Rogues use their charisma quite a bit with their skills (diplomacy, Use magick device, disguise, bluff, Gather Information, Intimidate). Blackguards get Sneak Attack too, and I've been using her BG spells to produce her Darkness Kunai.
It also opens up the potential for all sorts of ebil story thematics.
What are your stats, anyway?
>>50837Use Magick device is my favorite. With a good check, a rogue/assassin/bard can use any weapon.
>>50837>Wants charisma for skill checksTrumpaladin has a Circlet of Persuasion that provides a +3 to charisma based checks, in the chance you ever want to trade
Trumpaladin's highest score is his charisma, which was 16 when the game started, then I raised it to 18 with the allotted ability points. The armor adds +3 to make 21, and I'll probably need to add his gained ability points to charisma as well to ensure he's at where he needs to be for level 21. My entire epic level advancement plan for him depends on him getting to 25 Charisma.
Strength is... in question. It started at 13, and then I raised it to 14 with ability score increases. The ion stone adds +2, so it's at least 16. I thought it was 20, and was upset when that was in question. But I didn't really know how magical bonuses worked on swords, so now I don't care as much. Trumpaladin is basically a glorified Fighter, and virtually all of his damage is done by means of melee combat, so strength really should be the most important ability.
Trumpaladin was extremely fortunate to start off with 14 wisdom, which coincidentally is the ability score he needs to cast every level of spell he has. I got the Periphat, which Gm seemed fine to rate as +4, I think originally as a gift for Tracy. But it really helps him because the Paladin spell set is pitiful (it's a glorified fighter class) so the added spells from the extra wisdom really helps. I also like the benefits to will saving throws and to skills like sense motive.
For some reason he has a curiously high Intelligence score, at 13, which it also frustrating because it's an odd number. I've thought about giving his extra ability point to intelligence so he could get the extra skill point per level gained, but it's probably better in charisma or strength.
Con is 12, and dexterity is 11. I hate the odd number on dexterity, but now that he has a set of half-plate armor (which allows an AC bonus from dexterity of 0) that has enchantments too high to not use, I don't think that ability will be evened out. I like to make fun of how non-dexterous he is, like the sleight of hand checks earlier with a -8 (armor penalty) modifier to it
>>50839Aww.. Tracy's stat total rolled-up 3 points lower.
Tracy has 16 strength, although she never really uses it now because Weapon finesse. Her Constitution is 11
(really hoping to get that Gaunt deformity), as well as her Charisma. Her Wis is an abysmal 9, which kind of sucks, because it means she takes penalty on perception checks. Her Dex is 19: I allocated every point into that before I knew what the stats even did; I don't really regret it at all though. Her int, as I recall, is 13.
>>50840... Perhaps.. I might be mistaken...
>>50840I definitely remember her strength as 13Remember that when a character attains level 16, they gain an ability point, so she has another you can distribute. You could probably also get GM to let you move the 19th Dexterity point to somewhere else
We've been building up our characters in different ways, I've noticed. you mostly want to create the perfect Assassin, able to get in and kill a single target, get out, but above all else,
make damn sure that target is dead. I've been operating on the theory that Combat is a numbers game, dependent on five statistics more so than any other - Combined attack bonus, Armor Class, Damage, Hit Points, and the Fortitude saving roll bonus - so most of my advancement of him has focused on those five stats, or on the only set of skills he has any aptitude at (and that I want to roll play), persuasiveness. He's almost immobile when not riding because of how damned heavy the armor is. But I want to roleplay as heavy calvary anyways and Paladin's have awesome mounts
>>50839>Circlet of PersuasionNah. Tracy already has her head slot full with her Headband of Intellect, and I don't like the image of having to spend a move action to put on a magick tiara before rolling a crucial bluff check.
>>50842The circlet adds more to skill checks than the charm does, and the cloak of resistance adds more to saving throws than the cloak of charisma does. The headband only helps with arcane spells, which she only has a single level in anyways
I really, really, really, really need that +2 charisma before level 21. I'm hoping for a tome, but if not, will trade>>50842WHY DO I KEEP POSTING ITALICS WHEN I MEAN TO SPOILER
>>50844>The circlet adds more to skill checks than the charm does, and the cloak of resistance adds more to saving throws than the cloak of charismaI already made the cloak, so I never thought of getting another.
I wasn't exactly thinking of optimization back then. I just wanted an awesome weapon that moved on its own and gear that matched the aesthetics I was looking for.
>>50733Your back!
and thanks for the pdf ive been looking for it for awhile.
*hugs pony*
>>50735*boops thez*
>pic related >>50734Everyone is now a pony, except tracy shes a hooman now.
Torc is the colt version of Leslie faire. So to speak.
>>50849"Thez you still love me right?"
>>50848Torc wakes up in the middle of the kitchen floor
"Huh, wha? Why am I a pony now?"
Torc then worders if he polymorphed himself while sleeping, as Mr. Snek slithers in and looks about as suprised as a snek can look
Tracy pets the trumpony in her lap as he sleeps. She's well aware that she's been morphed into a hoo-man, but it's not the first time she's been exposed to this breed of autism.
>>50853Torc doesn't have the feat for that, sorry
>>50856"Call me that one more time and I'll consider it a violation of my NAP. In the mean time, did you do this?"
>>50852Give her arcane sight too while you're at it. That way, she'll automatically be able to tell if NPCs are carrying magick items before she decides to rob them, and she'll be able to see the magick aura of a trap even if she fails to see the trap itself. Well worth the extra XP.
>>50856I like the idea of a green, kilt-pattern pony with a beard and bagpipes strapped to him better, desu.
>>50858Only if you promise not to rob anyone who is European in port barry.
>>50857"Kek me did its hilarious."
>>50860"How do you expect me to use
THOSE?"
Torc gestures a hoof toward the pile of his items laying in his robe.
>>50858*black and yellow kilt pattern
>>50859Oh, Torc could do that
>>50860Eh, if the guys at Port Barry had anything worth stealing, Tracy at least would've had a chance by now.
Sure, Tracy won't bother them.
Travelers a good distance from the Port (horizon limit) are fair game for robbery though, although that'll probably never happen.
>>50861>How do you expect me to use THOSE?[disgruntled mudpony noises]
"You'll get used to it eventually, mageboi. Life without magick isn't impossible."
>>50862"life with out mag-
I'm a SORCERER"
He then sits down and trys to REEEE angrily, but he fails cause he's a colt
>>50863*laughs in Minotuar-pony*
>>50862>travelersReee that's precisely the group I was planning on shifting focus to. Like the Knights hospitalar who protected pilgrims going to and from Jerusalem
Trumpony wakes up one size class smaller than he was when he fell asleep. He finds that he's laying in the lap of a pale, silver-haired woman clad in a beautiful black dress. She peeks down at him with her bright, jaded eyes, feeling he's woken up; and she smiles affectionately.
"Good morning, Flashy." she says calmly
"You're looking awfully cute this morning."
>>50867>low-level NPCsI mean NPCs like Aristocrats and Experts in cities. Ones that look like they'd have deep pockets.
I maxed-out Sleight Of Hand, and I'm not going to miss-out on pick-pocketing in this game.
Besides, there's many other benefits to being able to see magick.
>>50868*jumps right the fuck out of strange lady's lap*
>>50873"And you, you're looking fine this morning as well"
>>50839>I'll probably need to add his gained ability points to charisma as well to ensure he's at where he needs to be for level 21.What's so special about lvl 21 though?
>>50842>you mostly want to create the perfect AssassinTbh, I kind of considered going for Duelist after reaching lvl 5 Blackguard. Sure, she'd miss out on stealth, but I really want that Acrobatic Charge: she can make spirited charges and ride-by attacks with her shoes, so she'd be incredible if she could charge in any circumstance. Will probably take a lvl in Assassin first though, so she can cast Invisibility. I put ranks into perform really early on, so that Shadow Dancer and Duelist would always be on the table.
Of course, that's thinking
really far ahead in the future...
*Tracy, looking somewhat crestfallen, takes advantage of this spare time to
finally finish her Mobility training, although she appears somewhat clumsy as she waddles off to the holodeck by herself*
>>50875It takes a lot longer than that to get an entire feat. It's supposed to take three levels of progression
>>50876GM said a week, and I've been trying to do it for a long time now.
>>50872"I've had a perfectly delightful morning, but it isn't this one"
>>50876So you get a feat every 3 levels?
>>50877Yeah, a week
devoted to it, where the character isn't spending 10 hours a day doing other things. It hasn't been much time at all in game
>>50878Yes, plus one at the first level. Humans have an additional feat at the first level as a racial quality
>>50875>Level 21It's the first level you can obtain epic feats
>>50881Yea you have to be over lvl 20 to get em.
>>50881Which ebin feats?
I've got my eye on Sneak Attack Of Opportunity, Lingering Damage, and Blinding Speed (if I could get her Dex high enough).
>>50883Level 21, Epic Leadership. Level 24 or 23, Great Smite (doubles Smite damage, which would be 40 per smite if he multi-classes and higher if he doesn't) and is a prerequisite for Divine Emissary. If he can get a bonus feat, then probably Epic Weapon Focus or Epic Toughness. Level 27 is where the true fun begins - Legendary Commandership, although I have to limit his multiclassing options to casses with diplomacy as a class skill for that to work out
>>50884All three of that sequence of feats require 25 Charisma
>>50886No no, that's correct. There's a bonus feat at level 1
[5d100 = 176]
These rolls will come into play after I ask GM a question, you can ignore them for now.
>>50892After you get unponified, maybe one or two of the PCs could go to [insert forgotten name here] and ask the gnomes for any diagrams for hard-as-diamond pickaxes. Gnomish hooked hammers are essentially pickaxes, and I'm sure a city of gnomes would have craftsmen who could give advice on creating better tools.
After we get some uber-tools, we could just demolish the temple piece-by-piece, using the parts we break off to produce more diamond pickaxes for the generals and the gestapo, who would be a combined force of ~70 workers.
>>50893Torc wants to go anyway so that works
>>50893We should kill the very strong undead inside first
>>50896Trump and Infernius can fly on either side, and destroy all of the undead goons with Turn checks as they fly out.
>>50898There are undead in there that can't be killed with a simple turn check. Lots of them.
>>50899Then we'll kill them the old fashioned way, if they survive the blast.
>>50900just stop trying to make up new silver bullets and clear the dungeon first. The bottom half, which we're going through, is below the waterline anyways
>>50897Diamond canons/canonballs, when?
>>50903Sure, shoot that. But if you open up a room full of banshees...
>>50902Why do you (you) yourself so much? Who are you talking to?
>>50904If banshee's have a turn resistance of ~+6, Infernius or Trumpaladin should be able to turn them once they leave the unhallowed environment, especially if they buff their charisma.
>>50905Usually, because the next thought is meant to be in relation to the previous thought, and I consider it a continuation of said comment.
>>50910I was going to have him try to fuck her, since she'd been blue-balling him for a while by then, and GM wasn't on so going after Felicia was not an option. Then I realized that pants are a thing, and the process would be considerably more difficult than I had initially anticipated. And things that seem like a good idea in the morning aren't as good when your mood changes...
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>>50911She's preoccupied training, so just ignore her spot/listen ranks for the sake of whatever. She's not wearing pants either.
She's probably still hoo-man though.. Sorry...
>>50910You should buy a balista so you can sneak attack with it.
Yes its in the rules.
>>50909We now need that as a mortar for the airship
>>50915This is the first post I'm seeing. I have a bad feeling about this.
>>50916If you give a mouse a cookie, GM. If you give a mouse a cookie
>>50915Or a gigantic, Death Star tier cannon on top of the tower.
Then we could convert the tower into a Diamond Colossus, with rocket thrusters and a drill lance. >>50850"Of course! How could you ask such a thing? You didn't do anything did you?" she plants hooves on her hips.
>>50892>bad feeling intensifies>>50902Kek
>>50908Oh gawd
>>50913It is,... but don't think I'm going to let anyone
carry a ballista
>>50918"There was this demon lady who played once,... she wished that all those cannons from Durpistan were mounted to the tower. It worked."
>>50919>>50916Oh come on, a guy asks for ONE mortar and everyone gets a bad feeling.
>dice rollsExpect a rabbit PM, its not bad at all.
>>50920Okkay, that wasn't as bad as I anticipated
>>50921See, I may be unorthodox, but I'm not game breaking
Is that Animal Shapes spell still in effect?
>>50919"No me just asking, me had bad feeling about it this morning"
>>509231hr/level
>>50925"Well, you
did boop me with a benis as my faggot was walking out the door,...."
[1d20+21 = 31]
Rolling to Move Silently
Trumpaladin, realizing he had blundered, backs the hell out
[1d20 = 8]>>50929lol no
Sneak Attack to grab unsuspecting pony by the dong
>>50926"Dont act like you dont love it."
*smug horned pony noises*
Torc looks around for a little bit, then trys to see if there is anything the polymorph staff can do to help him
>>50928... maybe
>>50931"I think its endearing, but he's the one who has to live in meat-space."
>>50933BTW, being a pony does not conflict with Torcuil's spellcasting; its still innate magic.
>>50932The best part is that you know it landed, because his equipment was merged with his body when he was morphed.>>50929*squeezes dong*
"I know you recognized me back then, Flashy..." she says, a little too monotonous for comfort
>>50935What about already-learned spells with somatic components? Are they tailored to the new body?
>>50935Yeah, but how can a earth poner use staffs and shit?
>>50937Roll Use Magick Device
Technically, a Sorceror would have to roll a use Magick Device check to use a staff in the first place, if he didn't already know the spell. Staffs are for wizards.
What's your charisma?
Wait, don't they all have pony-stats atm?
>>50934"Me guess me can see."
>>50937Tracy use knifes.
>>50936Can i make a color request?
>pic related >>50938>staffs are for wizard>a Sorceror would have to roll a use Magick Device check to use a staffI suddenly regret deciding on a magic class now
>>50936Fair point, there would be some restriction, but he's not null-magic
>>50941I tried earlier but most (((apps))) are garbage.
>>50940It's a trained-only skill too (only thieves get it), so sorcerers are normally fugged under the regular SRD rules.
Of course, a sorcerer could cast a spell from a staff if he already knew the spell inherently, but the staff is then pretty obsolete at that point.
>>50944I never use anything but this garbage app:
https://pixlr.com/editor/ >>50945Staffs are useful to clerics too though.
They're convenient to any class that prepares costly spells ahead of time.
>>50947I didn't know they had an app. Thanks
>>50948I hate the fact that you brought this up.
In the meantime, Torc has Snek pic him up and carry him to the crafting area of the tower
>>50950They have an app to i just downloaded it.
>>50930Trumpaladin's eyes widen and his pupils narrow, as he realizes why you should not turn your flank towards a rogue. And while being a stallion has its advantages, it has its disadvantages as well
He's not running off now
>>50936"You have my attention"
>>50953*grapples horsedong*
"You're looking really cute today, Flashy.."
>>50955I thought Torc was also turned into a pony
[impatience intensifies]
*picks up pony*
*slams pony on his back, on nearby couch*
*crawls/stands over pony on couch and stares into his eyes*
>>50958*pets cheek*
"..
yes...."
[heavy breathing]
*grip on dong remains firm*
Though he may be immune to fear [i]effects, Trumpaladin is not immune to being made to fear.
*no words, only the feeling of terror*
>>50962Thez watches with a bag of popcorn
Torc and Snek hopefully arrives at the crafting area and looks for a machine to make the things I talked to GM about
>>50964*ruffles chest fluff*
[heavy breathing intensifies]
"You're such a p-pretty pony, F-Flashy..." she stutters out, her eyes darting around every corner of his body with their violating haze
*hand moves to base of dong*
"And so well endowed too.."
>>50966There's
lots of machines. Where is Torcuil starting from?
*fluids drip down and get caught in his fluff*
>>50963"Wanna share with me? No communism"
>>50968Preferably the door, but I won't object to hanging from the ceiling by Mr. Snek's tail mission impossible style
>>50971*poof you are now filly leslie faire*
>>50967>>50965*bites apple, awkwardly, moves it aside with tongue a bit*
"uh... you, too?"
Trumpaladin looks up at the wierd silvered haired woman and tries to pet back with a free additional appendag, and - is that a wing? That's what it looks like, and he seems to be able to move it about like a fifth arm, so he pats her with it
>>50969she can feel some liquid on her hand>>50961Tracy believes she may have found something new to cut and shatter glass steel with
I take it back. Animal Shape gets no saving throw, but it can only be cast on a willing recipient, and they can revert to their true form as a standard action (but not back into an animal, reverting ends the spell).
>>50977Actually, I forgot you get to apply Wisdom so +10
>>50975*shoves carrot in mouth*
"Shhhhh.."
*pets mane*
*positions self over pony carefully*
>>50978It doesn't change gender or age category though.
>>50978I like this fact.
Torc reverts, and Mr. Snek
shocked by this development drops Torc while lowering him from the ceiling.
"ow"
>>50981Polymorph would've worked.
>>50980*wraps rear legs around woman's head*
"You can't fit the whole thing in there you know"