This thread begins with Infernius pushing random buttons on an already random object of ridiculous power.
Welcome to the next page of the thread series that everyone knows about but no one mentions cuz autism.
Its a role-playing thread, welcoming involved/random shitposting in addition to participation.
There's plenty of material if you wanna get a glimpse, otherwise I'll get back to it.
The first effect that is discharged by the rod is a ridiculously compressed stream of air, blowing back everyone around Infernius.
The second effect is that Infernius himself becomes invisible.
The third effect is someone adjacent to infernius is hit by Flesh to Stone.
The fourth effect is that Enlarge Size is cast on the statue-character..
The fifth effect is the rod summons a mouse.
Players should roll a d100
[Read more] 923 replies and 125 files omitted.
>>47330A loud clanking sound, like throwing a tool box down a stairs and knocking over a china cabinet, is heard throughout the tower
\r
>>47327Jej! If i had some materials i would do it.
>>47322What's with the detection?
[1d20-14 = 3][1d20-14 = -5]>>47331Trumpaladin collects himself from the heap at the bottom of the stairs, puts out the fire he managed to set on himself, and continues
*moves stealthy*
>>47327EPIC!!!!
[1d20+23 = 38]>>47335>>47333"Nopony expects the Trumpaladin Inquisition!"
HUGS PONY!
>>47336Tracy is still in the woods hunting owlbears, until I can reintroduce her.
Also, I think I might just play her as Chaotic Neutral again, since it'd be easier for stealth, and Neither BG or Assassin have advancement restrictions on alignment.
[1d20+23 = 28]>>47337You had her come back and deliver a corpse. She's hugged
Rolling to continue hug
>>47339The comment where I had her re-enter the scene.
>>47341*cries*
"I don't want to lose you"
>>47342*materializes in front of him*
*Boop*
>>47344*licks nose where boop was done*
>>47345*pets pony and licks back*
[4d20 = 29]>>47349REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!
FULL TICKLE RESPONSE!
>>47350*rolls over and giggles, hooves pawing the air*
>>47351*Wubs*
"Now where have you been?"
>>47336>>47342>>47341Where was he when he was looking for Tracy?
>>47352*wipes traces of blood off of her muzzle*
"Hunting."
>>47353>>47353>WhereI... Don't know. Time is weird here
"Now what are you hunting and why is its blood on your muzzle?"
*seems proud of himself*
"I killed two elephants"
>>47353Oh. You said "where." I would assume to the location specified earlier, where the owl bear was dropped off. I think That's her room. If not, then probably in the vicinity of the airship or on it. Maybe he returned to the bar area
>>47354"Some hairy beaked thingy I saw in the woods."
*shows head through bag*
>why"I normally only hunt on weekends, but this little glutton just always wants moar protein lately."
*holds abdomen*
>>47355Say they're in the tower.
>>47356"That's... that's a strange new animal I've never seen before. If you're craving meat we have four elephant corpses that haven't been touched yet.
Also, we have meat of our own"
*Holds up Trump brand Angus Steak, smiling as he does so, like he's posing for commercial or a cover image*
"And we can cook it"
Infernius should Awaken Sparkle before the party delves the dungeon again.
>Spakles reveals his last name to be Menendez-Alvaro
>Was smuggled in by pirates, he claims without his consent, at a very early age
Hey, at the risk of sounding like a metafaggot, where does the meat for the steakhouse come from? Is there a ranch/farm near here?
Also, how are the Generals and Gestapo paid? Sure, they're willing followers, but they have to eat and sleep too.
>>47359I want to develop awesome hitler-doggo's character sooner rather than later.
Also, Infernius should probably use Commune With Nature first, to test if he's worth awakening.
>>47361>meatWell, there are a few possible options. Port Barry itself has farmland surrounding it. Presumably at least some of the city's food supply comes in this way. It's also at a trading cross roads, so importation would be easy. But really, it would be very easy just to send a bus boy to the tower and retrieve free steak from its replicator. At least the steak served in the Tower is probably replicator
>Payment for the GeneralsMy original intention was that the American Football League would collect tithes basically like a real church, except of course it's a football league, so it's more like cable subscriptions. That and merchandising. Tickets are still free. I also set up Trumpaladin to have partial ownership in industries which would give an income based off of capital. But these were paid for by loans, so interest payments kind of balances it out. And if all that fails, just use treasure money. I looked up prices of things and they mostly aren't that expensive even for many people. The Kiynen money would last many weeks.
>>47362>>47363Alejandro Menendez-Alvaro will be a fun character to add
[Read more] >>47363Clerics can't have familiars, but Adepts can get them at lvl 2. So If he's an NPC worth having, Infernius can be his familiar.
>>47364What's with the Spic name though? He's German.
>>47364I want to hire a spellcaster to craft shit for Tracy.
>>47364>it would be very easy just to send a bus boy to the tower and retrieve free steak from its replicator.Anon.. isn't that cheating?
>>47365Well adepts are combinations of several spell casting classes
>Appropriate nameGM said he is a Chihuahua
>>47366I'm not perfectly sure what we can do with NPCs, although I think it's very difficult to find high level NPC spell casters. I would like a very basic adept for the Generals to cast "bless" and basic buff spells.
Hire Torcuil. He needs a job
>>47367>CheatingGM needs to learn why it's dangerous to give so much haxx
[Read more] >>47368Torc is a memeber of my gestapo.
>>47368>I think it's very difficult to find high level NPC spell casters.Not according to what I see on the wikis, they're just somewhat expensive. I'm not looking for any kind of spell further than third lvl anyway.
>I would like a very basic adept for the Generals to cast "bless" and basic buff spells.Both you and Infernius have that spell. It's what the religious PCs do before the start of every battle.
>>47369Well give him more work to do
>>47370>We have that spellAnd so does Fae. I want someone to be able to cast it right there and go through the process of distributing arrows and such while I'm a hell of a lot closer to the center of the action
>>47371>someone to be able to cast it right there and go through the process of distributing arrowsWhat does that have to do with Bless?
Also, you're the only PC who uses a bow.
>>47371Hes supposed to be studying rocketry.
>>47373Do sorcerers get knowledge engineering?
>>47372I see the spell I really wanted - magic weapon - is not available to adepts of any level. Eh, the +1 bonus on attack rolls from having an adept makes it worth it
>>47373>Giving an employee paid leave to "study"Anon...
>>47376Its not paid leave hes magical support. And i thought you imto space?
>>47377Then I'll ask a stupid question - does she have any interest in buffing Bows or Bolts for NPC archers before larger battles so they can overcome damage reduction
>>47379Magic Weapon doesn't last long. You're looking for actual magic weapons.
She can only use it once a day too.
>>47380Yeah it's one minute per caster level... I think. At least a minute is 10 rounds, so there could be time to cast it and move into place before an initiative roll and still have it last for a battle.
It's a Glory Domain spell, level 2, so i believe Fae will be able to cast it when she reaches Cleric Level 3, and since "Glory" is one of the two domains (the other being Law) I thought would be good choices for Elway-Columbia
>Actual Magic WeaponsI think those are relatively difficult to obtain. At least to obtain in quantity. Slovenia or someone can probably produce a decent number of Masterwork bows though
>>47380It only lasts 1 minute per caster level.
It's literally only meant for a character to be able to attack a monster with huge DR.
You could, yourself, also use Greater Magick Weapon to buff 50 arrows at once though.
>>47381>Elway-ColumbiaI'm pretty sure Clerics can't be polytheistic, or at least they can't choose domains from multiple deities.
Gllory is definitely Elway's domain though.
>>47382That's really all I need though
>Greater magic weapon for 50 arrowsNow that'll work!
I wish the BG spell list were as big as a Paladin of Slaughter's.. Sure, it's a prestige class, so it nerfed, but they could've given it Unholy Sword.
Then again, I guess that spell didn't exist when the class was written.
>>47383>PolytheismBut anon, it's not Polytheism, it's the Holy Trinity! Football, American, Elway. Or the Son, Holy Spirit and Father respectively.
>>47386Multiform deities are treated as one god and have the same domain.
>>47388I looked into deities quite a bit after killing Kefka, but didn't look very much into the worship aspect.
>>47389The books don't seem to give very much guidance on worship or building religions. You'd think they'd try to help-out Cleric PCs a bit.
>>47368Wait, what is Torc getting hired for?
>>47390Yo, thanks for the page.
Now a question for GM
when he gets back about it. You said Mr. Snek counts as Torc's familier, and of course Snek is also an item cause snek steff. What would happen if the staff became a item familier?
Hey, can Etherealness be used to materialize ethereal objects? I assume it can, since Devourers use that ability to travel to the material plane.
>>47395Tbh, idk about Snek. He seems to bend established norms in several places.
>>47302"Oooh, crookneck squash, and brussel sprouts, and asparagus!"
That's the first post we're responding to?>>47316>two moreYes. Only two. DEFINITELY not more.
>>47395>item familiarA what now?
>>47397Yes. Objects get no saving throw.
>>47398Oh cuz that's new for this thread,....
[Read more] >>47399>not newWasn't say that was new, I just don't know how to apply stuff to him.
Does that Item Familiar UA apply?
>>47399>what nowI was reading Unearthed Arcana and saw a variant familiars page:
>>47390 >>47386I contest this. It should be Football,
the Denver Broncos, and Elway
>>47258Please do, I've been melancholy for days wondering if Thez' grand conclusion was gonna be turned into an ethereal statue and lost to time.
>>47250I know those feels all too well. I'm sorry about the circumstances, but I would be quite the liar if I said I wasn't overjoyed to see dozens of "Mrs. Sentry" as I scrolled the recent posts.
>>47402>>47401I've only skimmed it, but desu that seems the optimal way to explain Snek as an item/familiar/npc/mobile pistol turret
>>47404If he were made intelligent, he could transform into Snek at will.
>>47406Again, I've only skimmed, but conceptually that doesn't sound disagreeable
Okay, I have the stupidest question that will be asked all night.
How much bludgeon damage would Snek do if he was swung at an opponient from above?
>>47404Sold.
>>47406Sold.
Also, could Snek wheear a singular ring on his tail?
>>47408>>47409>ringsI'll allow it. Rings don't
have to be worn on the hand, though outside a (what's it) Magic Hand, one can still only use 2 at a time.
>bludgeon damageIs he in Snek form?
>>47409Pony tails don't work that way. Unless it's going on her dock. I can see that
>>47408>How much bludgeon damageSnek is a +1 Quarterstaff, and wizards are proficient in staffs.
https://dnd-wiki.org/wiki/SRD:Rod_of_the_Pythonhttps://dnd-wiki.org/wiki/SRD:Quarterstafftl;dr enough to be considered a decent weapon, despite your weak-ass NEET arms.
>>47410>what's itYou mean a Hand of Glory?
Hey, since Kang Doot is still kicking, does that mean the curse on his arms are still active? I want to use his arms to make Mummy Rot weapons.
>>47412That's a good thing, because he'll need it when he's trapped in a Dimetrium cage and about to be sold as a sex slave by Griffons
>>47412That's the one.
>>47413I know it was only a few days, but gawd I missed you. Yes, his arms are still heinous. One of them is missing (unless recovered), but he's still got one dangling from a small chunk of 'flesh'.
>>47411That's what I had imagined
>>47412>>47410No no no, damage as a snek
Some monsters, like Hecatoncheires, have abilities that make them immune to almost all weapons except those tempered with the blood of a deity: does that imply that god blood can be used as an ingredient to craft superior weapons?
>>47415She definitely would've taken those arms.
>>47416Improvised weapon. You'd do more damage with the dagger.
>>47416I'm confused. Are you wielding a Snek as a weapon, or are you asking his unarmed melee damage?
[1d20+23 = 42]Alright, this is probably a terrible idea, but fuck it
>>47393Grabs tail of pony
>>47417But he's fucking huge
>>47418>Snek as a weaponThat's exactly what I'm asking. If I somehow used snek as a club, how much damage would he do?
>>47415Am i on the ethereal plane?
[2d20 = 31]>>47419[yelps]
*involuntary, instinctive kick* (sorry)
>>47422reeeeee>>47421Just retrieve Thez, get out of there before you get soul sucked by part of the undead army waiting there, and get her where she can be de-stoned
>>47420>he's fucking hugeYUGE weapons would be impossible for medium characters like Torc to wield.
\r
[1d20 = 20]>>47425>>47418*boops thez*
*casts break enchantment*
>>47421I didn't see the post where you actually declared his chosen action (nor the lead up where Infernius would have an idea where to even go), but sure. As long as the airship wasn't moved or anything, she should be right there, an oversized statue of a dwelf trying to correct their balance, floating in the middle of the Ethereal plane.
>>47426D'awww, the audience wants them reunited.
>>47430Of course, everyone loves a lub story.
>>47431
Why do you not want Thez to come back?
[1d20+23 = 29]>>47422Secondary Natural weapons have a -5, so attack fails to land.
pulls pony closer and grabs hair near base
>>47434Retrieve your waifu. You, unlike the other one, actually heard from lenos where thez is located and ahve a motivation to get her
>>47435Also, take off your armor if you're going to fug her, you AC whore.
>>47436
You think the Ethereal plane is bad, try finding something in Limbo ~_~
>>47440So is thez out of the enchantment?
Fine I will reveal my method for using Snek as a weapon.
1:hold staff by the bottom end.
2:swing staff at enemy
3:transform into mr. Snek and let go
3.5: snek keeps momentum from swing
4:IMPACT
5:¿¿¿
6:Profit?
>>47435>attack fails to landArmor doesn't necessarily make attacks fail to land, it only prevents them from doing damage.
>>47438That was never the intent
>>47443Whatever. For a grapple to fail, the attack has to deal damage
>>47441Nope. A 20 didn't make the DC for the enchantment. Xp
>>47437
Lenos did that already
>>47449He did? I missed that one too.
>>47450He cast discern location when Infernius and Trumpaladin asked him to find Thez, and found her
>>47451That wouldn't have worked. Discern location doesn't cross planes.
>>47453And now I know why. Discern Location
does cross-planes.
>>47449M8, why do you respond to comments you delet?\r
[1d20+23 = 37]Trying again.
Grabs pony's tail little past the dock, but definitely does not "pick up" the pony, or other wise pull strongly on the tail
>>47456You got Thez and rolled a 20 on dispel magic. That's as good as we're likely to get
GM, would you mind chatting with me in rabbit some time later on?
No hurry; I'd just like to do it some time.
>>47456Plz pardon my candor, which one are you?
>>47459Sure. Just leave a mention and I'll check
>>47460>>47460Hash zQ3r is Infernius from an alternative IP
I have a request I would like to make of all players.
When are we gonna make one of these?
>>47465Soon, I hope.
I wonder if the library has any golem manuals.
>>47467But what is your question?
I read that Reincarnation or Wish could be used to change a character's race. Is this accurate? I read it in context of a UA supplement when reading about racial paragons, when it was explaining how the UA was different from normal gameplay, so I'm not sure.
>All hypothetical, no ulterior motives
>>47469I'm not saying I'm now considering doing that.
BUT I WANNA FUCKING DO IT
>>47472Wish can technically do anything. And Reincarnate by definition transplants an ego into a new body.
>>47472>>47472Do you not enjoy being a filly?
>>47472>>47473Actually, I'm certain Wish would work.
In fact, Wish is the only spell that can reverse Reincarnate.
>>47469Reincarnation, yes. It randomly respawns the character in a new originating story, but with the same previous memories.
>>47473PREPARE FOR DE FEKKIN SCOTTISH UNICORN
>>47474I-Is Torc the filly? I thought
I was Filly
>>47477Fuck yeah I'll fuck the Scottish Unicorn
You are the filly. You
are the filly
>>47478TORC-ICORN (uni-Torc?) IS NOT FOR FUCKING LEWDS
>you are the fillyYAY I AM FILLY
>>47476What about Wish? Could it alter the bodies of living creatures, like a permanent Shapechange?
>>47476Druid is a strange class.
>>47479Trumpaladin recognizes that all unicorns are for lewds
>>47483It's a gay old time alright
>>47485I'm starting to feel like you're literally bisexual irl, Anon.
>>47486You'd think so, but no. It's just fun as fuck to chase after player characters
I mean, I like some mlp stallion on stallion, but that doesn't really count. Right? Right?>>47488"It's okay little pony"
*holds tail hairs close together*
>>47489>that spoiler...Really?"Wh-what are you doing with my tail, Flashy?!"
>>47488*puts pony's hind over knee*
"I'm going to see if I can help keep you from getting nearly killed like you did with the mummies"
*takes out a ring of protection secured from Nancy Pelosi (since Torcuil already has one) and starts to run tail hairs though it*
>>47492"I.. It's a bit tight.."
".. but it's fine, because it's from ~you.." *dreamy eyes*
Tail remains in air.
GM, have you been rolling our saving throws for fear affects off screen? Several of the enemies we've faced had high DC Frightful Presence, but nobody was ever effected.
>>47493*tries to run hundreds of horse hairs through a simple ring*
*finally gets it on*
*dock is kind of large, a bit too big in circumference to really fit well*
*Contemplates stopping*
*Pony is basically presenting herself to him, so it's excruciating*
*figures, "fuck it" and wraps pony hairs through the ring so its held in place on the end of her tail bone*
"There you go little pony"
*tries to force tailbone down*
>>47494She actually did.
\r
[Read more] >>47495This is the first time you're calling me on being lazy with saving throws? We're what, 6 months in?
>>47494Depends on the definition of "killed". Thez and Torcuil also fit the bill.
>>47499I'm a faggot. Pls ignore.
>>47500I'm just saying, there've been PLENTY of saving throws I have deliberately/accidentally nerfed,... its probably a long list by now.
>>47501The collar is less lewd desu
>>47502>Less lewdI feel like what you're trying to say is that both should be used
>>47498Ring of Sequestering would be /bestring/ for her, but invisibility would be alright too since Sequestering is a bit expensive.>>47501Wedding ring on tail-dock because lewdness.
Animal Friendship on collar because /mlp/ reference.
Like the time those minions of Soros were supposed to have an aura of nauseum, or the time when (insert numerous opponents) should have cast "(insert nerf-spell)" for the umpteenth time,....
What? Its true,....
There's never a day that goes by that I don't stumble across "Hey, you forgot about this shit!"
>>47505>"A bit expensive">Costs 300,000 GP and requires 20 caster levels and an epic feat, costing twice as much as the ring with three Wishes in itI'll see what I can do for ponfu
I like the ring of protection on the dock though, since it would be of "protection" and would rest over top of her vagina (since it's further down the tail bone) but of course she never practices safe sex and is against it on principle
>>47506That's how I'm feeling
>>47505Good thing I've buffed up saving throws [Read more] >>47507Trump turns into a newt. No saving throw. Don't worry, he'll get better by the morning.
>>47508REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!
>>47509See look? He's back to normal. ^_^
Srsly tho, I have to re-re-re-evaluate now. I'm not complaining, but atm none of it makes sense.
>>47512Cuz there's anyone ITT who would fight off a cute poner, even
if she was >edgy >dark
*contemplates taking advantage of Flashnewt*
I totally didn't mean to attach that image, but apparently its too late so revel in the wolf-elf-girl-rapeage
Going to bed srsly,... plz keep it above the belt? ^_^
[1d20+17 = 37]>>47512>>47512Kek. He got better I think
>>47517Uh. Uh. Counter grapple?
>>47514It's a weird question, but do Drow bleed red? I see them painted with blue or purple blushes pretty often.
>>47521>Dat modifier.You don't have any of that while you're a freaking newt, but that natural 20 implies that you have somehow managed to overpower her.
I think I'll go to bed as well...
>>47523>>47523*Manuevers around horse's behind horses neck, grabs her by the collar, and puts her down on the ground*
"Good girl"
*Stays hidden in mane of pony*
*pets her sort of*
*eventually curls up and falls asleep on poner*
>modifierWell, it's his base attack bonus with no strength modifier. There should probably be a high negative size modifier though
I can't facetiously post shit, everything is taken literal Xp
>>47526It's more fun this way.
Pic entirely unrelated (I just like it)
So about that question with the Hecatoncheires..?
>>47531Like where the hell are you going to get god blood?
>>47534Kefka ain't a god and never was one. He was only referred to as a god in the metaphorical sense of having very strong powers. But he was human
Gods don't bleed, and they don't die when they roll a 4 on a fort save for an implosion spell
>>47535GM said that Kefka was literally a god.
He used Life Drain: a Divine Power, which would've meant he had at least 1 divine rank. Creatures with 1-5 ranks are considered to be demigods.
>He was humanDoe he
look human to you? He looks like an ebil demigod, if I ever saw one.
>gods don't bleedThen what's with that description with the Hecatoncheires? There must be some way to acquire bloodforged weapons, if that's one of two listed weapons that could harm them.
>>47535>they don't die when they roll a 4 on a fort save for an implosion spellA rank 1 demigod could plausibly be killed by that, especially if he were naive enough and had just been shot in the head moments earlier. It was said that he'd momentarily lost his spell resistance in that time.
>>47536I think you're misinterpreting GM
[YouTube] It's a metaphor, daddy
[Embed]We've seen several images, but most show what appears to be an underweight human male of European breed.
A demi-god ain't a god, and it's blood ain't good enough for whatever ebin haxx you want
>>47537I'd think a demigod would prepare for something as basic as rolling a fort save
>>47538>I'd think a demigod would prepare for something as basic as rolling a fort saveI think he was just really fucking vain and underestimated the party. He did't even use items.