Well how about that,... air pirates. And they call their ship a derivative of "Cunt" too. I wonder if there's a connection, GM says dryly.
This leg of the game has the players either onboard or somewhere in the vicinity of the 'random' pirate airship that has taken to firing upon Trump Tower, as well as several of the characters. Unfortunately, a spell-caster onboard has placed a spell of Peace on the ship, and now there's a shimmering wall of force surrounding the captain.
Thez is hovering about 45deg from the front, ready to attack. Lenos is preparing for a Meteor Swarm, Infernius is speeding toward the ship, and Torcuil said "Fuck the Bullshit" and just teleported to it.
Trump wants to engage in diplomacy, but he rolled a 1 so he has to wait, and Tracy can't stab at ALL, which is an entirely new sensation for her.
1185 replies and 129 files omitted.
>>42702I'll talk her out of it
*pets pony with wing. The blue pony*
>>42706"I don' know. You flying us all while buzzed?"
>>42704What's the handle animal check to have sex with a horse?
>>42708"I...
That d-depends, are you a horse right now?"
>>42704Ones that aren't just drastic stat changes like bull's strength, but rather the ones that change the function or form of objects/people, like Animal Shape, Corrupt Weapon, or Air Walk.
>>42710*Trumpaladin displays his beautiful wings, gilded armor, and natural splendor*
"Yes"
>>42709[happy pony noises]
"It's been a while since I've seen you like this, ~Flashy."
Hey wait, isn't Pegasus a magical beast, not an animal?*shoots self for obnoxious metafaggotry* >>42714"But not long at all since I've seen you"
*Nuzzles pony with adorable pony nuzzle
FUCK YES I'M A PONY NOW!
That's correct, and shut the hell up. I was hoping GM wouldn't notice>>42715"Probably best not to trust food and drink you didn't prepare yourself"
>>42716"Well, if you can't beat em..."
Torc polymorphs into a snake
"Polymorph party?"
>>42716Oh please, animal form is legit, and I've been watching the whole way. Besides, I'm letting Infernius do this pickle-shit.
>>42717*Tries to avoid stepping on snake*
"Sure"
>>42719*Nuzzles harder*
*Much harder*
"You never got over that night, did you?"
*kisses poner*
[2d20 = 36]>>42720"Finally!"
First strike is a stunning blow (DC34 v Fort), second strike is (at -4) putting the bottle of air in Infernius' mouth.
>>42718Under normal game rules, if he shifted into an inanimate object, would he have even been able to shift back?
>>42721"~Hmmmm... I almost thought you'd forgotten..."
*rocks hips*
>>42722There has to be a way to give Snek proficiency in one of those gunz
>>42724Is Snek an Animal or a Construct btw?
>>42724>snek gets a gunI really like this idea, since there's 2
>>42725She once killed a creature immune to melee damage with a 20 and 100 roll
>>42723*Muffled concerned Minotaur noises*
>>42724*nuzzling*
"You've never let me forget"
*Moves back and positions himself to get on top of her*
*trows forelegs over pony, and is now watching, along with Tracy, the scene in fornt of him*
>>42722"I'll stay off your property"
>>42727Kek
>>42724I was thinking about it
>>42727I love my snek
Torc finds a way to summon him so they can have a snek party
I like the idea that Mr. Snek is big and derpy until action happensCan we do the gun thing?
>>42729[Happy tongue flick noises]
Also, can I free Mr. Snek from the staff?
Basically effectively destroying it, but as a result Mr. Snek just follows Torc around always in snek form?
>>42732>get ancap pony as Torc's stone horse>give her this>>42734Make the staff intelligent, so it can transform whenever it wants.
>>42735Sneks in hats are a beautiful thing.
Consider it done, but what kind of hat?
>>42728Though his ability to take in air from outside, the air supply of the bottle currently lodged in his throat is sufficient to sustain him.
"Well? Are you waiting for something?"
>>42731>gun thingKind of like the image with the snek having a luger
>>42737And convert him into a rod after you use up all of his spells.
>>42739"outside is* compromised*, the"
>>42740Actually, there's a rod that already fits his description.
https://dnd-wiki.org/wiki/SRD:Rod_of_the_Python >>42739I meant will you allow it, but lets fucking do it.
>>42740>>42737Smart, Torc transforms back and does the intellegence thing.
"There you go Mr. Snek, now to get you a hat."
>>42729"Unf..!
It's been a while since we did it like this."
>>42733*is mounted*
>>42741[happy pony noises]
*bucks*
>>42743Since he's a quarterstaff, can he be made into a two-part weapon?
>>42743Thats what snek is based off of
>>42744Don't get shot training snek, but sure
>>42746"GO PICKLE AGAIN!!" she's pushing him, but not in any particular direction.
>>42745>considers having Mr. Snek break it up.Nah
"Come on Mr. Snek, lets go into a different room."
Torc escorts Snek into a different room.
>>42749"THffff Thfffff" are the sounds of Snek's tongue shooting in and out emphatically.
>>42745"Indeed it has."
*humps pony*
"I like doing it like this"
>>42748>>42750*is watching, really intently*
[pony sex noises]
>>42751Snek wants to watch too
>>42750"Mwahahahaha<whoooof>hahaha!"
Infernius will be busy for some time. Let me reiterate, this was
your idea. Thez on the other hand seems quite flushed.
Can Torc somehow increase Mr. Snek's INT? Actually, are his stats the same as a giant constrictor or something else?
>>42752No he doesn't
>>42751Wait, does he?
Ew
>>42754Don't curse me like this