Well how about that,... air pirates. And they call their ship a derivative of "Cunt" too. I wonder if there's a connection, GM says dryly.
This leg of the game has the players either onboard or somewhere in the vicinity of the 'random' pirate airship that has taken to firing upon Trump Tower, as well as several of the characters. Unfortunately, a spell-caster onboard has placed a spell of Peace on the ship, and now there's a shimmering wall of force surrounding the captain.
Thez is hovering about 45deg from the front, ready to attack. Lenos is preparing for a Meteor Swarm, Infernius is speeding toward the ship, and Torcuil said "Fuck the Bullshit" and just teleported to it.
Trump wants to engage in diplomacy, but he rolled a 1 so he has to wait, and Tracy can't stab at ALL, which is an entirely new sensation for her.
1135 replies and 124 files omitted.
>>42653>has hands-5
>>42654I check every time that happens to make sure it wasn't a script error.
The way I'm gonna play this one is, having just recently engaged in a frivolous sexing in front of the pirates, Trump is still off his game a tad and comically misses one of his lines.
>>42651*intercom noises*
"This is your captain speaking, I would like you to know I'm going to try flying this fucking thing.
Uh, please fasten your seatbelts and hold on to your valuables"
Torc tries to pilot the ship towards the bay
>>42658>no hands, my badStill a 0
>>42659May the dice be with you.
>>42657*Blue balled waifu thief noises*
>>42651So... what are the DCs of the various ponies?
There's a classic ship-wheel, except steering-wheel size attached to what looks like a podium. There's a lever on the middle-right and a smaller one above it. a number of buttons and switches adorn the console.
I should mention, the ship its self is levelled at about 1000 feet, which is relatively clear of any potential landmarks
>>42664Do the buttons and switches have labels?
And what position are the levers at?
>>42665I will not touch altitude controll then
>>42666>doesn't want to get blown upOkay, fine. After a few rounds of daintily messing with the conrols, Torcuil figures out that the upper right is altitude, and the middle right is throttle. He's not particularly skilled, but he can be said to get an idea of how to guide the ship. No, there are no labels on the buttons and switches.
Sorry I had to step out...
>>42636*pregnancy cravings intensify*
>>42674>>42675"look at me, me a pickle!"
>>42671>No labelsI'll let Lenos look at those later.
Uh, mid level throttle, steer towards the bay. Drop to low throttle half way. Then cut gas flip around and thrust until stopped when at the bay
>>42676*drools a little bit*
Fyi, if he didn't already belong to Thez, she may've just eaten him. She's like a cat in that regard."Do they have any food left in the chambers? Something acidic?"
>>42679>that ridiculous modifier>still 1 anywayWtf am I supposed to make of that?
>>42680dont worry ill escape to the sewers.
>>42681>Still a failI know, I'm just having a hard time figuring out how to respond to it..
>>42682"You, get big again," she says, waving one hand about in reference to making magic work.
>>42681*steps over bodies*
*tears into boar*
Did the pirates drop anything interesting? Tracy's about to ransack the ship.
>>42680>wtf am I supposed to make of thatI know right? I'm guessing that means he lights himself on fire, or falls off, or knocks her over, or something that gets him stabbed or raped
>>42684"you don't want to put me in the jar?"
>>42687*puts in jar because why not?*
*closes lid*
"There you go."
>>42689"haha pickle infernuis!!"
>>42681But like a real pick up artist I can roll again with a different target right?
Can certain transmutations be made permanent?
>>42693If they see you hitting on every female in the tavern, you might get a penalty.
>>42690I'm ok with lighting himself on fire
>>42689"Hey!" Pulls pickle out of jar, "
>>42691Easy maneuver. Its not like you're air-dropping ppl over ab enemy site.
>>42693Cuz there's plenty of pones (or females for that matter) to seduce?
>>42694> -5 penalty on retriesEh. I'll take it, and then go to the next tavern
>>42685>>42695What kind of clothes are they wearing?
>>42695>not a lot of poniesTouché. Is Felicia still pissy about that whole stabbing-her thing?
>>42695>piloting +1Torc looks for the rest of the party, where are they?
>>42701I thought we were all on the airship?
>>42694Depends, which transmutation?
>>42696Thats seriously what you're going with
>>42699dubs kek
>>42701They're on the ship, surprised (relieved?) that they haven't died yet.
>>42701"Present"
Trumpaladin has always looked somewhat orange, but he looks more orange than usual
>>42702I'll talk her out of it
*pets pony with wing. The blue pony*
>>42706"I don' know. You flying us all while buzzed?"
>>42704What's the handle animal check to have sex with a horse?
>>42708"I...
That d-depends, are you a horse right now?"
>>42704Ones that aren't just drastic stat changes like bull's strength, but rather the ones that change the function or form of objects/people, like Animal Shape, Corrupt Weapon, or Air Walk.
>>42710*Trumpaladin displays his beautiful wings, gilded armor, and natural splendor*
"Yes"
>>42709[happy pony noises]
"It's been a while since I've seen you like this, ~Flashy."
Hey wait, isn't Pegasus a magical beast, not an animal?*shoots self for obnoxious metafaggotry* >>42714"But not long at all since I've seen you"
*Nuzzles pony with adorable pony nuzzle
FUCK YES I'M A PONY NOW!
That's correct, and shut the hell up. I was hoping GM wouldn't notice>>42715"Probably best not to trust food and drink you didn't prepare yourself"
>>42716"Well, if you can't beat em..."
Torc polymorphs into a snake
"Polymorph party?"
>>42716Oh please, animal form is legit, and I've been watching the whole way. Besides, I'm letting Infernius do this pickle-shit.
>>42717*Tries to avoid stepping on snake*
"Sure"
>>42719*Nuzzles harder*
*Much harder*
"You never got over that night, did you?"
*kisses poner*
[2d20 = 36]>>42720"Finally!"
First strike is a stunning blow (DC34 v Fort), second strike is (at -4) putting the bottle of air in Infernius' mouth.
>>42718Under normal game rules, if he shifted into an inanimate object, would he have even been able to shift back?
>>42721"~Hmmmm... I almost thought you'd forgotten..."
*rocks hips*
>>42722There has to be a way to give Snek proficiency in one of those gunz
>>42724Is Snek an Animal or a Construct btw?
>>42724>snek gets a gunI really like this idea, since there's 2
>>42725She once killed a creature immune to melee damage with a 20 and 100 roll
>>42723*Muffled concerned Minotaur noises*
>>42724*nuzzling*
"You've never let me forget"
*Moves back and positions himself to get on top of her*
*trows forelegs over pony, and is now watching, along with Tracy, the scene in fornt of him*
>>42722"I'll stay off your property"
>>42727Kek
>>42724I was thinking about it
>>42727I love my snek
Torc finds a way to summon him so they can have a snek party
I like the idea that Mr. Snek is big and derpy until action happensCan we do the gun thing?
>>42729[Happy tongue flick noises]
Also, can I free Mr. Snek from the staff?
Basically effectively destroying it, but as a result Mr. Snek just follows Torc around always in snek form?
>>42732>get ancap pony as Torc's stone horse>give her this>>42734Make the staff intelligent, so it can transform whenever it wants.
>>42735Sneks in hats are a beautiful thing.
Consider it done, but what kind of hat?
>>42728Though his ability to take in air from outside, the air supply of the bottle currently lodged in his throat is sufficient to sustain him.
"Well? Are you waiting for something?"
>>42731>gun thingKind of like the image with the snek having a luger
>>42737And convert him into a rod after you use up all of his spells.
>>42739"outside is* compromised*, the"
>>42740Actually, there's a rod that already fits his description.
https://dnd-wiki.org/wiki/SRD:Rod_of_the_Python >>42739I meant will you allow it, but lets fucking do it.
>>42740>>42737Smart, Torc transforms back and does the intellegence thing.
"There you go Mr. Snek, now to get you a hat."
>>42729"Unf..!
It's been a while since we did it like this."
>>42733*is mounted*
>>42741[happy pony noises]
*bucks*
>>42743Since he's a quarterstaff, can he be made into a two-part weapon?
>>42743Thats what snek is based off of
>>42744Don't get shot training snek, but sure
>>42746"GO PICKLE AGAIN!!" she's pushing him, but not in any particular direction.
>>42745>considers having Mr. Snek break it up.Nah
"Come on Mr. Snek, lets go into a different room."
Torc escorts Snek into a different room.
>>42749"THffff Thfffff" are the sounds of Snek's tongue shooting in and out emphatically.
>>42745"Indeed it has."
*humps pony*
"I like doing it like this"
>>42748>>42750*is watching, really intently*
[pony sex noises]
>>42751Snek wants to watch too
>>42750"Mwahahahaha<whoooof>hahaha!"
Infernius will be busy for some time. Let me reiterate, this was
your idea. Thez on the other hand seems quite flushed.
Can Torc somehow increase Mr. Snek's INT? Actually, are his stats the same as a giant constrictor or something else?
>>42752No he doesn't
>>42751Wait, does he?
Ew
>>42754Don't curse me like this