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Hitler's Nuts
Anonymous
MwlG2
?
No.40838
40847
Is it a RP thread? Is it a shit/fun-post thread? Is it a bantz thread?
Its all 3. Welcome to Mixed Nuts, where we do wtfe and have fun (mostly) doing it, while doing our best to coerce and manipulate one another and see what kinda shit we can get away with, while seeing what kinda shit we can get one another to do.
Don't deny it faggots.
The party's latest venture was BTFO'ing Ruth Bader Ginsberg, Nancy Pelosi, and Dianne Feinstein (who eats poo BTW). There's still an awful-big building floating in the water, and the party has designs to try and get inside, but I'm not about to even start that shit until the weekend, cuz in true form, the moment I leave for meat-space there's another 200+ posts when I get back.
These faggots,....
Anyhow, please note that while players are called faggots, blatant and obvious and unquestionably gay shit is not permitted. It is role-play, but keep it hetero, or u will die.

New players are welcome, to start or just to pop in and shitpost, but don't get mad when,....
Pic cuz I fucking felt like it. Xp
1119 replies and 159 files omitted.
Ktiev
?
No.42014
[1d20+21 = 34]
>>42011
Can I make a demoralizing Intimidate check from this range?
I want to do something..
Anonymous
S10Bb
?
No.42015
42036
>>42011
yes.
Anonymous
jUW0k
?
No.42016
>>42013
Trumpaladin's Combined attack bonus with Bull rush is now +31/26/21/16 against evil +29/24/19/14 against non-evil
MwlG2
?
No.42017
42018
[18d20 = 171]
>>42013
You don't have the time or opportunity to attack, all Trump can do is dramatically flip onto the ship's deck, which is firing at him and Tracy.
Anonymous
jUW0k
?
No.42018
42019 42020
>>42017
Uh... AC is now 35 with +5 bracers of armor
MwlG2
?
No.42019
[5d8 = 19]
Three of the seamen hit Trump (a map?) while two hit Tracy; 3 longbows and 2 crossbows.
>>42018
In a fighting stance, yes. Atm he's doing stuff that requires focus.
Mrs. Sentry
Ktiev
?
No.42020
42022
>>42018
She has 26 natural armor, plus 3 with the bracers.. And there's the robe combined with smoke...
Shit... You did take that Mounted Combat feat, correct?
Anonymous
MwlG2
?
No.42021
42022 42023
Both Trump and Tracy sustain minimal damage and have successfully occupied the center-point of the top-deck of the ship. Either character can move or maneuver but there's lots of enemies.
Anonymous
jUW0k
?
No.42022
42024
>>42020
Oh that feat wouldn't give you more than 29 or 29 AC

>>42021
Can we kill something this round?
Ktiev
?
No.42023
42024 42027
[1d20+21 = 33]
>>42021
Tracy, due to her faggots impatience,is in full genocide mode. Kill everyone in sight.
Rolling to Intimidate (demoralize)
Cast Cause Fear, because why not?
Anonymous
MwlG2
?
No.42024
42025 42035
>>41990
Uhm, that's a touch attack spell
>>42022
No.
>>42023
That dice roll. You see it don't you?
Though she shouldn't be able to, Tracy does some weird voodoo shit that makes herself seem more fearsome than she actually is.
jUW0k
?
No.42025
[1d20 = 18]
>>42024
Quick draw bow shoot target of opportunity. Unless something wants to talk first
MwlG2
?
No.42026
42028
[16d20 = 166]
So the assembled and organize pirates on both sides of the ship from Trump and Tracy,....
Keep their fuggin' distance and fire range weapons.
Ktiev
?
No.42027
42028
[1d20+21 = 38]
>>42023
Also, Search check to look for the fastest way to Hindenburg this goddamn boat.
Anonymous
jUW0k
?
No.42028
42030
>>42026
>That's exactly how I'd use them
Remind me to hire some pirates

>>42027
No. We take her a' prize
MwlG2
?
No.42029
[4d20 = 53]
[1d100 = 22]
2 shots hit both, one being a crit (that one to Trump).

Mrs. Sentry
Ktiev
?
No.42030
42032
>>42028
We'll salvage the wreck out of the water later.
MwlG2
?
No.42031
[2d8 = 9]
[4d8 = 11]
First bit is SUPPOSED to be Trump's damage
jUW0k
?
No.42032
>>42030
No. That will destroy more than half it's value, we can't fix an airship, we don't know how to fix an airship, and it would cost more money to fix than money we have.

Take out your frustration on the people shooting us. Leave the loot alone
\r
Anonymous
MwlG2
?
No.42033
42034 42037
Rather the second bit. Oh well, that wasn't much of anything. These pirates are sucking balls. Lenos is first. I think. I can't find the post that says
Anonymous
jUW0k
?
No.42034
>>42033
I don't know. They've already done like 20+ HP of damage and our characters haven't even done anything to them yet. These are probably very low level NPCs designed mostly to ferry around larger cannons, yet they still do some damage and will take time to kill all of. This is why I appreciate ranged weapons on low level NPCs

And yes, Lenos is first.
Anonymous
X/NDv
?
No.42035
42036
>>42024
ok I must have read it wrong I thought it lit the path behind the charging character. so instead he uses the brownie burp at the closest group of pirates (switching back to phone computer is glitch)
Anonymous
MwlG2
?
No.42036
42038
>>42015
"What,... then," she takes a knee on one side. "I don't,... who, how should, this doesn't make sense."
>>42035
Oooh, still out of range for that. The only ones who are in combat range are Trump and Tracy.
jUW0k
?
No.42037
42039
[4d20 = 44]
>>42033
Trumpaladin's move is to ready full round attack at enemies that are adjacent to him once horsey closes range. Trumpaladin orders horsey to attack group of pirates that are close together and have been shooting at them

Quick Draw Vanderiem also
Rolling now for the attack because why not
Anonymous
S10Bb
?
No.42038
42042
>>42036
"me know . me most likely going to lose powers."
Ktiev
?
No.42039
42041
[3d20 = 31]
>>42037
Extend cone to fuck up the attack rolls of anyone who gets close.
Strike at the archers with chain.
Anonymous
X/NDv
?
No.42040
42042
>>41928
So this didnt get him onto the deck?
Anonymous
jUW0k
?
No.42041
42043
>>42039
Horsey didn't move close enough to attack the enemy?
Anonymous
MwlG2
?
No.42042
42044 42045
>>42038
"I,... I've lost powers,... its,... its not so bad when,...." her face betrays emotions she is otherwise trying to shield and restrict,
>>42040
No, because I get a 404 error every time I try and load that page, so fail

Mrs. Sentry
Ktiev
?
No.42043
42044
>>42041
She moves where she's directed to (as a default), but she still attacks.
You could make ride checks to control her movements if you want (idk if the check is necessary). I'm going to get pretty passive because it's really late, but she'll still attack everything she sees.
jUW0k
?
No.42044
42047
[1d20+10 = 27]
>>42042
>>42043
Ride check to make the horse get Trumpaladin close enough for him to use his sword and her to use her stronger and more powerful natural weapons and sword
Anonymous
S10Bb
?
No.42045
42087
>>42042
"me would give up my powers 1000 times to protect you and addy."

Anonymous
MwlG2
?
No.42046
42048 42049 42052
"Zone... Of... PEACE" calls a voice from the captain's wheel. Waves of enervating energy removes any trace of hostile motion or intention from Tracy and Trunp's intention. Both are able to move or declare any action except attacks/combat.
Mrs. Sentry
Ktiev
?
No.42047
>>42044
I used the chain because range.
jUW0k
?
No.42048
42050 42051 42052 42053 42105
[1d20+34 = 35]
>>42046
>Can't attack

Fuck it I'm talking then. Attempt diplomacy
Ktiev
?
No.42049
[1d20+21 = 35]
>>42046
[Angry nightmare noises]
Intimidate
MwlG2
?
No.42050
[1d100 = 59]
>>42048

Anonymous
jUW0k
?
No.42051
>>42048
FUCK YOU
FUCK YOU
FUCK YOU
FUCK YOU
FUCK YOU
FUCK YOU
Mrs. Sentry
Ktiev
?
No.42052
>>42048
>>42046
Light the deck on fire.
MwlG2
?
No.42053
42056 42058
[1d20 = 16]
>>42048
Trump, attempting diplomacy, stumbles in his stirrups and has to spend a moment righting himself. Meanwhile, Tracy attempts to set fire to the flying craft which has surely been warded and guarded against basic flamability.
Anonymous
jUW0k
?
No.42054
42057
Detect alignment on ship captain or officer
Anonymous
jUW0k
?
No.42055
42057
Call Fae
Mrs. Sentry
Ktiev
?
No.42056
42057
>>42053
Did Tracy's intimidation phase them?
*Walk straight up to the faggot who cast the spell*
Anonymous
MwlG2
?
No.42057
42059
>>42054
>>42055
Which is it?
>>42056
No, there's more than a dozen per side, each bolsering the saving throw of the other.
Anonymous
jUW0k
?
No.42058
42061
>>42053
As Tracy is doing that, may as well say "Hello"

Anonymous
jUW0k
?
No.42059
42061
>>42057
Detect alignment and "hello"
Anonymous
X/NDv
?
No.42060
42061
how far away from the ship is lenos
Anonymous
MwlG2
?
No.42061
42063 42064
>>42058
>>42059
A 1 - 59 = lose a turn, meaning Trump can engage pleasantries next round.
>>42060
3 rounds out without incurring an AC penalty.
Anonymous
MwlG2
?
No.42062
42065 42066
"Whistars! Fayntesh! Do your thing," calls the same voice from the captain's direction.
Spell scroll-work weaves its way along the deck fortifying all those aboard, including Tracy and Trump.
Anonymous
X/NDv
?
No.42063
42070
>>42061
So not within range to cast firestorm on the deck of the ship?
Ktiev
?
No.42064
[1d20+21 = 38]
>>42061
Can Tracy find/approach the guy who cast the spell?
Listen check to discern where the sound of casting came from, and walk right up to the guy who cast it in a totally non-aggressive matter.
Mrs. Sentry
Ktiev
?
No.42065
42070
>>42062
Captain?
Fug the Spellcaster, go to him instead.
Anonymous
jUW0k
?
No.42066
42067 42070
>>42062
>>42062
Um... what's spell scroll-work, and what sort of fortification?

Also, tries "hello" again
Mrs. Sentry
Ktiev
?
No.42067
42069 42071
>>42066
>What sort of
He wouldn't know without a spell craft check, so there's no point in being meta.

*Goes to the captain*
Mrs. Sentry
Ktiev
?
No.42069
42071
>>42067
As in, within nose-touching range.
Anonymous
MwlG2
?
No.42070
42071 42072
>>42063
In range, yes, but no line of sight. The ship is still significantly elevated.
>>42065
>>42066The crew assembles around Trump and Tracy. "Wouldn't want ye to trip or fall. Please excuse the lads," says one of the pirates, more to give a personification to the retention-pattern than anything.
>>42066
"Yesh me lord?" says one pirate, while several chortle amongst themselves.
Anonymous
jUW0k
?
No.42071
>>42067
We can get a visual description of whaat's happening even if there's no clue what the magic effect is

>>42069
*forces pony to stay out of booping range*

>>42070
"Why have you been shooting at our base and at our city?"
Mrs. Sentry
Ktiev
?
No.42072
>>42070
Fly right over their heads towards the captain.
Anonymous
MwlG2
?
No.42073
42074 42075 42081 42105 42108
F> Wall of Force
The captain area is covered by a spherical bubble of magical force.
"Now then, if you'll be so kind as to avoid any foolishness, welcome aboard the Sloppy Cunt"
Anonymous
jUW0k
?
No.42074
>>42073
"May I ask who is speaking?"
Mrs. Sentry
Ktiev
?
No.42075
42076
>>42073
Walk straight towards the captain and get as close as possible.
Anonymous
jUW0k
?
No.42076
42078
>>42075
"Stahp. That's enough"
Anonymous
X/NDv
?
No.42077
42084
>>41916
Just curious but wouldnt being able to do this put lenos closer then 600 feet away from the ship?
Mrs. Sentry
Ktiev
?
No.42078
42079
>>42076
*Blows smoke at the captain with frustration*
>'I wanna' stab someone..!'
Anonymous
jUW0k
?
No.42079
42080
>>42078
*pets horsey*
>"This is pretty strong magic. They seem to have stopped the complete hostility anyways"
Mrs. Sentry
Ktiev
?
No.42080
42081
>>42079
>'So?'
Anonymous
jUW0k
?
No.42081
>>42080
>"I want to find out what the hell is going on first"

>>42073
"And welcome to Port Barry. Would you be so kind as to tell us why cannon balls were being hurled at our city and our base?"
Mrs. Sentry
Ktiev
?
No.42082
42083 42084 42086
Meta question because I gotta sleep
Is it going to be mostly talk for the rest of the session? Tracy would let him talk; otherwise, she'd be a killing machine.
Anonymous
jUW0k
?
No.42083
>>42082
*Pets horsey*
Anonymous
MwlG2
?
No.42084
42085
>>42082
Tbh, I was hoping to at least pause at this point
>>42077
Yes, but not necessarily in view of the deck of the ship, else he'd have been far more shot-at than he was.
Anonymous
X/NDv
?
No.42085
>>42084
Pausing sounds good ill be back in the morning
Anonymous
jUW0k
?
No.42086
813279__artist needed_safe_artist-colon-mcsadat_edit_oc_oc only_oc-colon-tracy cage_colored_smiling_when she smiles.jpg
>>42082
FOUND IT! Color feels a bit off though
Anonymous
MwlG2
?
No.42087
42088 42089 42090
>>42045
Thez, waiting patiently for meta-time wanders her way over to Infernius
"I... gave up,... my powers,... its not so bad, not when,...." she betrays emotion.
Anonymous
S10Bb
?
No.42088
42090
>>42087
*hugs*
"you dont have to say it."
Anonymous
jUW0k
?
No.42089
881135__safe_solo_twilight sparkle_meme_screencap_image macro_unicorn_fire_over a barrel_pyromaniac.jpg
>>42087
>Not present but still want to say it anyways
"You're cured Thez. You're better this way"
Anonymous
S10Bb
?
No.42090
42091
>>42088
>>42087
"me now you miss them, but even if we both lose our powers we will be together."
Anonymous
MwlG2
?
No.42091
42092
>>42090
"Then why?"
Anonymous
S10Bb
?
No.42092
42093
>>42091
"why what?"
Anonymous
MwlG2
?
No.42093
42094
>>42092
"Its not about missing anything,..." <whooof>
Anonymous
S10Bb
?
No.42094
42095
>>42093
"thez! where you go?"
Anonymous
MwlG2
?
No.42095
42096 42097 42101 42105
>>42094
Thez reappears high above the pirate ship, which Trump and Tracy are tenatively "guests" onboard, and pulls out what looks like a folding saw shaped loosely like a bird,... or maybe a snake,....
With a flick of her wrist and a KLACK sound, the blade pops out, revealing a scythe-like weapon.
"I will welcome and fight alongside all who do not stand in my way, and any who would stand between us are in my way,"
Her words (said as she disappeared, but taking time to register) dawn on Infernius, as she looses an otherwise simple and unassuming Kama.
That's my last move for the night. Anyone else?
Anonymous
jUW0k
?
No.42096
42098
>>42095
"Hello Thez. Guessing their magic can't be that powerful if you came aboard. Are these friends of yours?"
Anonymous
S10Bb
?
No.42097
42103
>>42095
*flies up to the boat*
Anonymous
MwlG2
?
No.42098
42099 42100
>>42096
Not aboard, high above the ship, outside the spell range (Thez doesn't even know there's a spell yet)
Anonymous
jUW0k
?
No.42099
>>42098
Is she saying that to F?
Anonymous
MwlG2
?
No.42100
42101
>>42098
I'm meta-saying that to you, so that you know where she's at.
Anonymous
jUW0k
?
No.42101
42102
>>42100
I mean are the words in quotes in >>42095 addressed to F and intended to actually be heard?

Anonymous
MwlG2
?
No.42102
42103
>>42101
No, those are iterated to Infernius - by creative license - as Thez teleported to engage the opponents.
Anonymous
S10Bb
?
No.42103
>>42102
>>42097

Anonymous
Bm++O
?
No.42105
Morning
>>42048
>+34
H-how?
>>42073
>Sloppy Cunt
I didn't know pirates named their ship after themselves
>>42095
>Torc sees everyone else disappear to the ship
"Aw fuck, here we go"
Torc teleports onto the deck, next to the rest of the party
Mrs. Sentry
Ktiev
?
No.42106
42108
Tracy is going to tear this abjurer apart from the inside next time she gets the chance.

I won't be able to play until later this evening.
Mrs. Sentry
KlhnX
?
No.42108
42109 42110
>>42106
>>42073
If possible during her next turn, she phases through the deck/floor to travel underneath the wall of force, to get up-close and personal with the captain.
If not, Trump, use your Help to get us up close and personal.
She's casting Doom at this captain every turn with her lenses.
Gas all shieldfags
Mrs. Sentry
KlhnX
?
No.42109
>>42108
Helm*
Anonymous
jUW0k
?
No.42110
42111
>>42108
WHY

Jesus, just let me ask basic questions that I've been waiting hours and hours to ask
Mrs. Sentry
Ktiev
?
No.42111
42112
>>42110
If he has something to say, she can say it right to their faces.
Tracy is already determined to move from point A to point B. She's not attacking in any way; she's just getting close.

Remember to make him pay for the damaged tower.
Anonymous
jUW0k
?
No.42112
42113
>>42111
Eh.... fine. Horsey can try her intimidation tactics. I guess she's got to do something to impress the captain into buying her
She may have to deflate if you want dimension door to work. If that thing is a wall of force, both going around it with eternalness and dimension door will get around it
Mrs. Sentry
Ktiev
?
No.42113
>>42112
I don't normally bother looking up how to get past spells, barriers, etc. because my character wouldn't know anyway, so there's no point in me knowing.
She's just pissed that the faggot who interrupted her day is hiding behind some invisible shield in non-stabbing range.
Anonymous
X/NDv
?
No.42114
Lenos would like to cast meteor swarm at the balloon to try and pop it
Anonymous
MwlG2
?
No.42115
Alright then, before we do anything else, I'm gonna bake
Anonymous
MwlG2
?
No.42117
https://mlpol.net/vx/res/42116.html