Welcome back to the RP thread.
Darkemeter is now a party asset. Tracy tends dutifully to her little-giant birdies, Infernius seeks to get closer to Hitler, Trump just wants a dagger or something, Torcuil is,... doing stuff? Thez tries her best to stay upbeat and focus on nice things. Lenos has been ahem not-seen since Kiynen the lady-dragon showed up, and for the moment nothing grandiose is happening, which is good cuz reasons.
This is a 3.5ed (ish, its off the wall) continuous RP thread/game, if you're seeing it for the first time. Anyone and everyone is welcome. Speaking of which, Taylor Swift and Sad Alex haven't been seen for a minute. Norfilly's situation is difficult to align with, and Yak Lee has taken to Thez' previous position of liberally and regularly beating the participants of Fight Club. I think that's everyone,....
889 replies and 156 files omitted.
>>35947I didn't make that deal
If it was one of the things, pic so related
>>35949I see
*Trumpaladin looks for rapier and continues until he finds it or gets frustrated*
>>35950he loves money and he's an alright guy he won't cross us."
>>35953I don't think Onfernius is in range...
*sad paladin noises*
>>35952
You don't understand. That's not a normal rapier. That's a very high level, very expensive magical sword with the ability to drain constitution from an opponent through a touch attack. It's an epic way to reduce enemy hit points.
If he asked Tracy, she could forge him a punching-rapier or whatever he needed. She and Infernius are in the forge.
>>35945"She'd only talk to certain kinds of creatures. I guess there must be something about you half worth respecting.
>>35955I know. That why I wanted it so much. I just didn't want to be a loot whore, since it seemed people were bothered by it.
>>35957"she a good pony, me feel like she my sister."
>>35958But she's not your sister, so you're okay with your friend having sex with her right?
\r
>>35959you already have a waifu stick with her.
>>35966"It seems like my husband needs me for something."
>>35968"oh me come with me have some buissnes questions."
>>35969"Ah, wait, he's on his way here."
>>35970>>35969*Arrives in forge*
"Hey Tracy!"
*crouches down and opens arms*
*Sees Infernius, looks over at him with an uncertain expression, waiting for a response*
>>35971"Good morning, Flashy. Are you feeling better today?"
*puts down tools and walks over*
>>35971"hey freind when we go to cardishore"
>>35974*picks up pony*
"You want to ride a white knight?"
pic related
>>35975*glad he doesn't seem to be pissed off at him*
"I... I'm expecting it to be dangerous this time around. Darkie knows something about this realm and about Cardishore. I wouldn't want to go without asking him about that place first. Ask Thez and Lenos as well. People who know what's going on. Because we sure don't"
Question time cause I just had an idea for a boss.
Is there a bird/human race?
>>35976Why are you guys going to Cardishore?
>>35976"i haven't seen lennos in a few cycles."
>>35977>whyBecause Tracy's faggot and Infernius's faggot want it. I think it's smarter to delay, because I am expecting something big
>>35978"Yeah. Last I saw he was going to see the bitch dragon"
why does the black dragonne get to live,
while Trollestia, who did nothing wrong, has an execution date pending?>>35980Puts Tracy on his back
"D'aww. You're so cute. What are you up to this morning?"
>>35976>Because we sure don't"That just makes it more fun, doesn't it?"
>>35979Thats exactly the thing I was thinking of, thanks
>>35981>why does dragon live and troll dieBecause
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=3A3hVn2iFjI >>35982Or, it means we piss off the GM with our stupidity and he gladly obliges when you all walk into a death trap, get killed, and lose all of your equipment. In your case, again.
>>35982Wait. That's in character
"Do you want your child to die? Because when you take risks, you're sharing them with your child. Now let's collect information, and know what to expect before we go"
>>35981>What are you up to"I've been making knives." she says, picking up a newly-finished dagger.
>>35985I'm not going in the front door this time.
>>35981"those scales looked pretty good, i bet it would make a nice sleeveless jacket."
>>35986"I'm not afraid.." *trails off*
>>35987Then wouldn't it be a good idea to find out ahead of time if there are lichs or magic shields or whatever waiting for you before you attempt to find a back door?
"Oh neat! what kinds of daggers...
I'z want dagger..."
>>35988"I know right! All sorts of beautiful stuff could be made from her. Armor, bar decorations, who knows what else"
>>35991"shes evil so its okay right?"
>>35992"Evil? Evil is one thing. Bitch killed five of my men.
My men. We killed humans - with dignity and rights - for doing far less back in Texas"
>>35991"Bane daggers."
*she holds out a wicked-dagger with a spiral pattern on it*
>>35993>>35992"I don't know how Lenos would feel about that..."
>>35989"Don't be afraid. Be
cautious"
>>35994*inspects dagger*
"Neat!"
*looks at her*
"Baned against
what?"
"Is Lenos still alive even? Or is he a jacket now?"
>>35994wicked-looking*
>>35995"Magical beasts... Like me."
"Just what could he have run into that could've killed him? He's just on a long date."
>>36001"I find that hard to believe..."
>>35997"You ever have a date that lasts four days? Guy's dead or tied up"
>>35996*turns back to look at her*
"What?"
>>35998"Too great to describe. Wataburger and guns and low rent and republican legislatures"
>>35998I wanna goooooooooooo home
I wanna go home
>>36003You forgot the Alamo
>>35997>>36003"You baned the knife against ponies?"
>>36004Oh right. That too
>>36003im fucking jealous of you texas fags and your whataburger there are none in Louisiana REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
"im getting a vision ohhh ohhh hitler said RE CONQUISTA whatever that means."
>>36003"Yeah, there was that week after you and I-...
..Anyway, he's taking her to her new home by the beach. All he ever does is sit on his ass in the forge here anyway, so I don't see why he'd be in a hurry to come back soon."
>>36005"Well, yeah; ponies and whatnot. Other things too."
>>36007"me just say we should check on him."
>>36009"Eh.. You can go if you want. I've got more important stuff to do."
>>36007"What?
Yeah, he's on the corpse pile"
>>36008"What is it baned against specifically?"
>>36006"Yes, recoquista! and a Blitzkrieg lebensraum to you too"
>>36009"Why though? To avenge his death"
*ready to kill*
>>36006Haha, we have wataburger in Florida
>>36011>baned against specifically"I said Magical beasts. At least that's what the diagrams say."
>>36014>broad"Eh, not really.. I intend to make a few more.
>Like what?"I used to have the perfect knife for every job.. I guess about it's time to build-up again, since I don't know when I'm ever going to see my collection.."
>>36016"Do you have a strategy? No?"
>>36017"You're going to lose much more this time than all of your weapons"
>>36018"me gonna ask for my arms back then barge in."
Could Tracy make possibly Bane knives that turn blue or something when their targeted creatures are around, like in the Hobbit?
>>36018".... I've grown since then.. I'm not dumb enough to go through the front door anymore...
.. Besides, I've got a bone to pick with the security..."
>>36020"Really now? Where are you going in if not the front door?"
>>36019"You know it's run by the same people as the Court City right? They'll be expecting us"
>>36020could you make me a jew hunting knife?
>>36021"me know (((they))) control it."
>>36022Any knife can be a Jew hunting knife
>>36024like a jew bane knife that lights up.
>>36023"Indeed. But one does not simply barge into Cardishore"
>>36026Or one that (((vibrates)))
>>36027>barge into"I prefer a less direct approach."
>>36029Eww...
I had forgotten where she stores her knives
>>36031>>36031"Okay. What's your strategy?"
>>36031"maybe me can distract while you two sneak in."
>>36034"Sneak in where precisely on the structure?"
>>36032She had a box for her collection. Neatly arranged, but seemingly infinite.
>>36033"Through the walls. If I can't phase through them, I'll stab my way in."
I already registered for entry. So I'm sure they won't mind if I skip the line this time." *chuckles a bit*
>>36036*deadly serious look*
"Why do you think you could phase your way in? Do you think they hadn't thought of that? Do you think they can't make a magic barrier like they did in the court city
after you are in? And as for stabbing, do you think they don't have reinforcements? You know you're not super tough. I could take you out in a single round. They don't have smite evil, so it'd be more difficult, but enough guards and you're out. Basic archers damn near took out Torcuil. Then again, a lion
did take out Torcuil. Think. Or else, you're losing yourself, your new weapons, your bracers and your hat and your only ever child"
\r
>>36037"i have simple solution me kill (((everyone)))."
>>36038*facepalms*
"Or (((everyone))) kills you first"
>>36039"with arms and ring me cannot be kill."
>>36037When did archers and a lion take out Torc?"
>>36040"You heard of the Finger of death right?"
>>36041Archers didn't kill you, but when you and Trollestia attacked the pirates they landed hits.
By lion I mean when I had Fae maul you
>>36042"me not a bitch, me can turn undead."
>>36043*sighs*
"All I'm asking is that you wait until everyone is here, and after we can ask people who know something about Cardishore what's going on. Especially Darkie. If anyone knows how to infiltrate Cardishore, if anyone
can inflitrate Cardishore, it's him"
>>36044"so much cool items"
*antsy minotuar noises*
"wait cant you talk way in?"
>>36037Well, the last time when I had already gone through that portal, Thez was able to teleport in and grab me easily, so the dimensional barrier has to have openings in some place.
I don't intend to engage any guards, or to be seen at all for that matter."
Also, gib flanking bootz. She could use those better than he could, especially for sneak attacks. >>36045"I don't know. Do you know? Don't you think that's the sort of thing we should try to collect information about before we leave?"
>>36046I still fucking hate your ethereal bullshit"You know Korak was able to sense you without even trying right? Do you just assume you can go in without a plan or any idea what the hell you're dealing with and get lucky every time?"
>>36049"Thank you. We're going back to Cardishore eventually. We may even need to go with an entire army. But we should do some very basic research first"
>>36047Maybe, how are you tonight?
[b]What the hell did you mean by the subliminal comment? I have no dignity left in these threads so just tell me.
>>36051Well, I fucked up that spoiler tett
>>36051Hella late desu, but there's no anime tonight so
>shrugs >>36050*grasps and humps leg*
"I'm not really much of a mare for grossly premeditated murder (I'm more of a spree killer), but I'll wait for a plan if it makes you feel better.."
>>36053"Well, I woke up this morning"
*sad'angry*
"Alone. So at least he didn't kill us in our sleep"
>>36056*Pets pony*
*shakes leg*
"That's better"
*slightly soothed schemer noises*
>>36057"me told you he a good guy."
>>36059"I don't know. He's
True Neutral. Good, I can understand. Evil, I sort of can understand. I understand the law, and sort of understand chaos. But
neutral?"
*shudders*
"The enemy, you know where they stand. I don't trust these neutral types"
>>36060He's taken a few liberties... In any event,
he clearly likes to have plans*shakes leg again*
>>36061Stahp >>36064"with enough friendship he can be brought around."
>>36065"Can he? I don't know. Maybe. And maybe he'll change his mind after the end of it"
Okay. Darkie's equipment was part of the bargain, but he hasn't been given them yet. He's still enjoying not being stuck in a body-cast, as well as the fruits of the food-synthesizer.
On the road to Krenshall, Torcuil comes across a disheveled old woman, stumbling along in the opposite direction, leaning on a gnarled stick.
DDLC - I ain't sayin' SHIT
>>36067Worst trade deal. Way to give away great lootCan we go speak to Darkie?
>>36067If you won't say shit, why did you mention it?"Good (evening/morning/afternoon?) Ma'am, is there anyway I could assist you?"
>>36068"Oh yes, hello friends!" He's nomming a phatty steak. "How can I be of assistence?"
>>36069His words startle her and she fumbles her cane, falling over. "Oooh!"
Cuz I want you to have the nightmares too >>36072Pulls out Vanderiem. Not in any way to make a threat, but more to present the sword and have Vanderiem in the open... to respond
"Hello. Can you tell us something about the previous parties that occupied this tower? You said before you knew Korak?"
>>36072"what you know about cardishore?"
>>36072Torc dismounts and goes to help the lady up
"Sorry ma'am, I didn't mean to startle you"
But what does it have to do with my failed spoiler and the subliminal comment? >>36074"Korak, yes. An ill tempered man. I never crossed blades with him, but he showed up shortly after I did, though he didn't have the presence of mind to hide, as I did. He didn't appreciate being blown up by the little-one's fire traps, which led to a huge "misunderstanding" that left several (including himself) in the infirmary."
>>36075"I know my previous associates were quite keen on robbing the place, but we hadn't finalized the logistics when we,... parted company."
>>36076I'll think about the boots...I know exactly why you want them>>36078*wobbles leg*
At least she's not humping
>>36079"By the little one, do you mean Lenos?"
"Do you mean to say the drow? How did you part company with them exactly?"
[1d20 = 12]>>36077The old woman lashes at Torcuil as he helps her to her feet. "Awwwr, ern't this one a noble feller?"
[1d20 = 17]
[1d6+7 = 8]
Her jagged nails draw lines of blood along Torcuil's arm, but more than that she immediately clamps down on his arm with unusual strength for her frail appearance.
"Yer softy types be the easiest!"
>>36082"A what? Perish the thought!"
>>36086>Only one>>36085"Who else was in your party?"
>>36085"no you a faggot like trump and me are."
>>36090>is sekrit thread nao>within rangeOf what? More for speed of striking.Idk when she got down. I forget she was on his back.
[1d20 = 12]
[1d6+2 = 5]
Torcuil, though effectively grappled manages to hit her squarely with a shot from his pistol.
"OOooh, fancy trick yer be havin'. Makes me want to eats ye's MORE!
>>36093*waits to see how pony responds to Infernius implying to Darkie that he and Trumpaladin are in a homosexual relationship*
>>36094"I got some real shit for you motherfucker, you been waiting a long time for this mothafucker...
MEGA FAGGOT"
A tricycle flies at the old hag
Torcuil, roll for initiative. This is important.
>>36088"Lets see, there was Thez, who of course you already know, and Korak, likewise. Also there was this brooding Orc fellow named Slag, as well as a right fool named Cecil; he,... had differences and,... was not well received. Also a small fellow named Lenos."
>>36089>like Trump and me are"I'm afraid you've lost me with that one. If you're looking to involve me in some sordid game you play, count me out."
>>36095".... Everyone here is a faggot. Myself included. Didn't that weird fox guy say something about it?"
>>36101>5 initiativeI'll start drafting my new character...
>>36097>>36097"Cecil? I haven't met him. Anything you can tell me about him?"
>>36098>Not participating in the Jokehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G0-VTPYXvfc >>36098"Tracy, that's not... I'm not... I didn't know you were I didn't want to know..."
*looking down*
A faggot is term used to refer to the person playing a character. Not the Character him or herself. None of the characters are faggots. Unless you mean Homosexuals. In that case, Thez probably is, and maybe Tracy - who knows
[2d20 = 17]>>36102Alright. The Hag (literally) stands upright, and when not hunched over a cane and otherwise disguising her stature, stands about 8' tall and is gaunt as fuck. She cackles maniacally. She attacks with Rake (both claws).
grumble grumble snek staff Another clawed hand strikes, but the other can't manage to get a good shot in.
Which is good cuz,... anyway. "Err, this one's got fight in 'im! Tasty that!"
[2d20 = 34]>>36106>mega faggot didn't do shitFug
Torc quickly throws his snek staff away from him
Roll 1 initiative for Mr. Snek, Roll 2 for grapple check.
>>36104"What was it that cat-thing had to say about faggots again? I was only half paying attention."
[1d20 = 8]>>36109Torcuil attempts to break the hag's grip, while throwing down the Snek staff-release.
>>36113>>36114"Johny Cash spoke about the riddle of the faggot. The idea of larger purpose behind every action. But that's not the essential point. The point is that yes, Darkie is a player. Did you not know that?"
>>36116"Space Coyote"
If you survive this, wrap up her head and cut-off her hands, pls.
>>36118Don't worry. This enemy can't be very strong if a 7 doesn't beat your AC
[1d6+7 = 8]Oh snap, Torcuil successfully breaks the hag's hold on him. (dice is damage from 2nd attack)
"Ahhhh, pretty one. Come, lets get CLOSER."
>>36120In a grapple check, its 1d20+str mod, rather than going off AC
>>36120Any enemy can kill you if you fuck up.
[1d8 = 1]
Thats the second 1 in a row.
Test dice
>>36123my whole party got killed by a dire bat before.
e_e
>still highly suspicious
[2d20 = 18]
So Snek is fully snek'd, the hag is within range, and its her move. Torcuil has taken 16 pts of damage so far, and she's attacking with both clawed hands.
[1d6+7 = 8]
[1d20 = 12]
She lands another hit, which immediately clamps down on him again, starting another grapple. She's done this before, he realizes.
[1d6+7 = 11]
Seriously? Another 1 for damage? Are all damage rolls gonna be 1's?
Nevermind, Torcuil needs to beat a,... 19 (after modifiers) to break the grapple (initially)
>>36135Newp, she's got him again. Torcuil's move, and he's at 1/2 hp.
>>36134yes i and gm are the same person.
>>36139Reeeeeee! That's my title!
>>36138You did say I could have your horse right?
>>36142You cannot have the horse.
It's BS that he could have two in the first place. >>36137Which makes Thez and Infernius' relationship weird,... but strangely it makes more sense. And less.
>>36138>TeleportOnly verbal components,... that works.
Torcuil <shwoooomp> is 20' way, out of the Hag's clutches.
Hrmmmhrmmmrhmmm Snek >>36142Also, she's not his to give.
[2d6+4 = 12][1d20+6 = 13]>>36139>>36140It was nice playing with you all
I regret asking for this, so so so much
Mr. Snek trys bite
>>36144I was gonna use Snek, hold your horses
>>36138Seriously, for the love of Kek, use the fucking Snek to grapple the hag.
>>36143She's such a beautiful mare though
>>36144That works? I've been wondering myself for a while now
>>36145I guess I'll try negotiating with her then
>>36148I'm Flash Sentry here damn it!
>>36150I think I know how to avoid being Torcuiled
>>36146>Bite 1d20+6 2d6+4Die rolls
>>36147See
>>36109>>36148In the arms of an angel...