705 replies and 74 files omitted.
>>31910"You know I do not like surprises..."
Casts RESISTANCE on self
>>31912Good, now wear the fucking helmet Mr. Brave Paladin!
>>31914Trumpaladin takes a leap of faith, makes a prayer to the Dice gods, and dons the helmet
[1d20+10 = 26]
If this is what I think it is, there is a Will saving throw, DC 15.
+5 Paladin class saving throw, +4 charisma bonus, +1 spell bonus, or +10 total
>>31916You guessed correct; you win the bonus prize:
That curse only works once though, so you can still continue to use it as a Hat of Glamering (a creative take on a Hat of Disguise): When donned, it can change into a MAGA hat of any color, and changes any armor the user is wearing into formal, casual, or ceremonial business attire.
*takes a couple steps back to admire the armor that has changed into a dashing black suit*
"You look sharp, ~Flashy."
The hat was originally meant to be used on Infernius first before it was given to Trumpaladin, so that he could become LE more easily, but I gave up on that after he went AWOL.
>>31918*Is delerius, because he just avoided being fucking cursed in a way that would force his faggot to rethink the character*
"Thank you... Tracy"
*places thumb up*
Wouldn't he have to reroll to avoid the curse each time it is put on until the hat has actually imparted its curse on someone?
Actually, this is an extremely useful curse >>31920>deleriusNo. He would have no idea that he'd be affected by anything, even if he had failed his save.
>>31920"I'm glad you like it, Flashy."
*disappears to go back to feeding birds*
I g2g for a bit, Tracy is feeding her birds for now.
>>31922He would if he was betting ahead of time that he was at risk, although he wouldn't regret failing
>>31926What's the opposite of Trump Good?
I forgot to say, Tracy left her glass of chocolate milk on the table.
Don't spill it.
>>31927Clinton Evil? Perhaps Trump Good is the opposite of Trump Good? I have no idea. That's why I was so afraid
>>31929That's correct, there is no opposite to Trump Good. It is unopposable
>>31930Word
>>31930THAT CAN BE POISONED! TORC NO!
[1d20 = 18]>>31930*returns*
*sees the fucking wizard drinking her milk*
*stabs him in the back, with the Merciful Dagger*
"You fucking NEET! That wasn't for you!"
>>31933Trumpaladin sighs in relief, as he doesn't have to cast a "remove curse" or "remove poison" spell
>>31907So to allow things to progress, Thez now has the I'nis Compass, complete with a note promising a ridiculously and unnecessarily complicated favor to make up for the inconvenience of crafting so many items in such a small period of time.
>>31931Kek. The combined forces of the other side cannot withstand Trump. But a lot of those Bernie supporters, who were treated so unfairly by the establishment, they are attending Trump rallies now. Believe me
>>31935I can work out the math for attack and saving rolls and AC and everything, can you tell us everything that was actually made?
>>31937>That wasn't for you!I just realized that that statement doesn't rule out the possibility that it was poisoned
*readies spells again*
>>31935So we doing this shit? Cause I want Torc to talk to Troll before the party leaves
>>31944I have shit to do tomorrow, so I wouldn't mind starting tonight.
>>31944Don't make a decision to take Trollestia or not until we know where we are going.
>>31946I'm not taking her, its more of a "If I don't return"
>>31945This, I have shit almost all day tomorrow
>>31946>until we know where we are goingI don't want to know. I've prepared all I can, and I love surprises.
Pence Prod
Resistence Cloak x2
Animated Demon-Murder Claws - No Contagion but can b poisoned
Tracy's 60' chain is now funky-fresh
Hollow-Ichigo Mask (Mask of Skull, but no, its the Hollow-Ichigo mask)
Ring of Spell-Turning x2
Kamina Shades (Doom Eyes)
Fae's speed bracers
Circlet of Persuasion
Periapt of Wisdom
Javelins of Lightning x12
>>31949You forgot Torc's new ring
>>31948Well I don't. I'm a strategic planner, and I need to know whether I am riding Fae or Tracy
Or you can make the decision for me, that will work too
>>31949*Graciously accepts resistance cloak, circlet, periapt, and Fae's bracers*
>>31951I'm assuming that if I asked for something and it's not listed, that's because it was rejected, right?
>>31949>Hollow-Ichigo maskHollow Stripes are great, but can it also be shaped like a troll's skull too?
>>31950As well as Tracy's horseshoes and Leather Armor.>>31953>you can make the decision for mepic
>>31952Its in there, I'm just waiting for the bulk to be cleared out.
>>31953What is missing?
>>31955Ah, understandable
"Thanks Thez, you're a life saver."
Torc accepts the items, thanking Thez way too much, and then makes for the stables.
>>31956You're going nowhere, this scene hasn't played out yet
>>31957Thats true. Those were missing.
>>31958>>31959>>31955Well, I was not sure how much was reasonable to ask for and what was too powerful, so I asked for a Stone of Luck, a Cloak of Charisma (I'm aware this stuff can't all be worn at a time), a helmet of teleportation, a Mantle of Faith, and Bracers of Armor.
>>31954Just have her hump his legs furiously while wearing the saddle if "ride Tracy" and feeding her birds a third time if "ride Fae"
>>31961Well, she doesn't need to hump his legs, since that might provoke a response, but just have her go to him
>>31961Tracy has a cloak of Charisma she could give, but he can't wear two cloaks
>>31962*goes to*
>>31960Finding/taking the Steelhand ring, it'll be just a moment
>>31961Stone yes, cloak no (extra cloak of resistance instead) no mantles (infernal artisans) and bracers yes.
>>31957I forgot the Obsidian Steed Figurine/Pendant.
>>31963I'd take a cloak from pony
If he's riding her, her orders are to "Try to track down the bull, but please make sure our family makes it back - intact. Don't feel the need to be heroic if you're not saving a party member"
>>31964That'll work.
Do Paladin Saving throws count as "charisma based checks" for the circlet of persuasion, given that Paladins add charisma bonuses to these checks?
Quick question cause I'm retarded, how do I calculate roll bonuses?
Once everything obvious (and less so) is retrieved, Torcuil rummages for the Steeland ring which he finds eventually, along with some paper.
>>31965The hoers still wants a steed
>>31966Not universally, but generally
>>31969You have a God-tier horse here. Be happy.
>>31971It's just to have a way home, in case Torc dies.
>>31972Put him in the bag of holding
>>31973Obviously, but who's going to plane shift?
>>31974Infernius when we find him, or Thez, or maybe we should prepare a scroll or something
Just for sheduling, are we going to have any action tonight?
>>31976Why, its a trio of cards. One shows a skull, one shows a moon, an another shows a star.
>>31977You're about to. I was waiting on direction from the I'nis compass, but I threw this in for good measure.
>>31978Done, fukking kek
Hey, could Tracy's Knithing Poles be used to mask good auras, while the party is resting for the night?
>>31980Skull, moon, star?
Any text?
Now can Torc go to the stables?
>>31978Just don't use it on Trumpaladin. Ever. I've been trying my best to buff the hell out of his saving throws, but I am still spooked by these kinds of weapons
>>31983Why would she use that? She'd be more likely to kill him with a Sneak Attack anyway
Also, Energy Drain is worse than death. >>31981Sure, but only when planted
>>31982As soon as he kills the massive grim reaper that materializes before him, no matter which direction he looks. The chest in question appears to have housed the Deck of Many Things at some point, and 3 of the cards appear to have fallen out, which are the cards that Torcuil just found.
>>31984Fine then.
Legit question, how valuable is Trumpaladin's life to Tracy, either for itself, or as a value for giving statistically better outcomes for her foal/being used in the creation of new foals?
\r
>>31986I mean assuming he's insisting on wanting to be her child's father/her husband, not if he breaks up with her
>>31986>meta-fagging this hardCome on, man.. Save it for the in-game drama.
>>31988Seriously, Torcuil is about to get soul-reaped and ur on about what now?
>>31985Really bitch, you had to do this
Lets see
>Moon: You are granted the ability to cast the wish spell 1d3 times.Not bad
>Skull: You summon an avatar of death-a ghostly humanoid Skeleton clad in a tattered black robe and carrying a spectral scythe. It appears in a space of the DM's choice within 10 feet of you and attacks you, warning all others that you must win the battle alone. The avatar fights until you die or it drops to 0 hit points, whereupon it disappears. If anyone tries to help you, the helper summons its own avatar of death. A creature slain by an avatar of death can't be restored to life.I hope you get fucked in the ass by a cactus
>Star: Increase one of your Ability Scores by 2. The score can exceed 20 but can't exceed 24.I guess this is good
IF TORC DOESN'T FUCKING DIE
>>31988I've told you a billion times that I do not understand your character's motivations. So either give me some hints or never complain that I'm being a bad husbando
>>31992She never considered ever having to choose between her husband and her foal, but she considers them to both be really dear to her.
>>31990Does that wraith drop it's scythe when defeated?
Also, good luck.
>>31991
Bad Pony! Stop trying to poison the child!
>>31995Wraiths aren't poison. They're soul food.
>>31990>cackling hystericallyIt seemed a fun thing to do. I don't know how long its going to be before the I'nis compass starts pointing, or even
if its going to at all. It could be that Infernius has already jumped plane, and it would be up to Torcuil to figure that out with his scrying. There doesn't have to have been the deck at all, I'm just visualizing.
>>31994Thanks
Alright. Torc, understandably startled, steps back a bit while projecting his sheild.
"And who thr fuck are you mate?"
>>31993Excellent
>>31996Bottle of Vodka does wonders for the soul as well, but pregnant women should still avoid it
>>32001So "According to this" uhm "Infernius is,... here?" Thez and GM both say quizzically while Torcuil fights for his life.
>>32007*considers following, but figures she's got it covered*
[1d20 = 16]
Torc suddenly has the worst idea ever known to man.
He pulls out his magnet rod and attempts to steal death's sythe.
I really don't want Torc to die. Roll for succsess
>>32006>>32009Trumpaladin Mounts Tracy
he puts his hand on Tracy's belly
"Tracy, before we go out on this quest, I want you to think about the life inside of you. Think of the life ahead of this foal. Think of your foal's younger brothers and sisters, who don't even exist yet, but should. Tracy, it's very important that the three of us return. Please bring us all home safely"
>>32007Recommend new bread