This thread continues the roleplaying campaign previously continued in
https://mlpol.net/vx/res/2421.htmlOur players - one of whom is still munching on some random guy's face - nears the once-distant port city, without the faintest idea what to expect.
Except for Trump, who for some reason thinks that attacking Thez is a good idea (as though he didn't notice she's a Devil).
Luckily for the both of them, his sword bounces harmlessly off some form of invisible barrier in front of her.
"Sorry, did you want some?" she offers Trump some of Barry's face.
>>2959>repeating last post>BarryDAMN IT ALLEN
STOP
FUCKING
THE TIME LINE
>>2965>Allen?Wait, what's wrong with killing Barry? If you knew him, you'd want to eat his face too.
So yeah. Last thread hit bump limit, so here we are. We don't have to start yet, I just had to eat Barry's face. I'll probably do it again before the night is over.
>Implying Trump ever suspected her to be anything other than a devil
*Trump looks over to Tracy*
Little blue pony, you have lead a life full of wickedness and sin. But today is the day you redeem yourself. Help me slay this demon in our midst
*looks to torcil*
Good man, you too may be of great service to justice and to the universe. Seal this demon, and send her back to the hell from whence she came!
>>2966The flash? He probably got here through fucking the time line
>>2970>Good man, you too may be of great service to justice and to the universe. Seal this demon, and send her back to the hell from whence she came!Nah, I'm good
My character needs a bolter
>>2970"Eh, heheh.. If that's what you're going to do, Flashy, then I guess I'll be by your side.."
*draws knife*
*hugs leg*
ITT: OP spends an hour trying to re-write his game plan after Trumpadin attacks Thez.
No, OP tries to compensate for restaurants that can't give accurate times on takeout orders. ~_~
So then, Trump, are you SURE this is what you want to do? I mean, I can roll with it,....
>>2977>>2976Just make Thez have an excuse that Trump would find convincing for ripping off Barry's face
>>2977Ah, I know that feel...
>Thez is most amused at the suggestion of defeating/sealing her by the way. She dispenses with any pretense of Urri.
>>2979Well, he's a twat for starters,....
>>2979>*leg-humping slowly starts*
>>2982"A twat? Explain yourself Demon! I am as dead as you are. I can keep up as long as love of football fills my heart!"
>>2972"Can you at least help get this pony off of me?"
>>2983NOPE
>>2985GM Can I use some Thot-b-gone on tracy?
>>2985Thez chuckles.
"Better. I though I'd have to thump you just for trying to give me orders! Barry, well he's an insufferable bastard of amazing proportion. He regularly and consistently falls short of his job expectations, knowing that he won't have to pick up the slack nor will be disciplined for it. He is a burden on those around him, is utterly contemptible, and he has bad breath.
[1d20 = 6]>>2985As for the pony, hmmmm. There might be something I could try,....
>>2985>[leg-humping intensifies]>>2986Fucking try it! I dare you!
[1d20 = 3]
Thez's tail whips out and grazes Tracy's shoulder drawing a thin line of blood.
Tracy begins to lose coordination and is having trouble standing.
"Oh dear me, you don't look so good. Here, let me help you."
Thez grabs Tracy by the shoulders. I'm assuming Tracy is attempting to resist?
>>2987*Trump lowers his shield from protecting his chest section to protecting his legs*
"Folly thinking you could every thump the Trump. Tell me, what job expectations does he fall short of?"
>>2989Pic related
>>2990I just stand aside, hoping to not get dragged into this
>>2990*grabs leg with all four limbs*
>Glare_so_murderous_that_I_cant_find_the_reaction_image_that_illustrates_it.jpg
[1d20 = 10]>>2991You really want me to explain the finer detail don't you?
>>2993"Odd, that usually works. Hmmm. Oh, duh!"
>>2992"Damn it man, Football is a team sport. It requires work as a team!"
Thez hits Tracy in the lower back (stunning fist) and she momentarily becomes stunned (meaning, she drops anything she's carrying and lets go of anything she's holding.
"You should be thankful, normally when I poison people, I rape them, but I'm not feeling it right now."
>>2994"If ye be of anything other than vile stock, yes"
>>2997"Oh, I never said I WAS anything other than vile stock, but you can rest assured that he had it coming."
>>2998I guess that's what I need to know
>>2999Okay.. I'm done being pathetic....
>>2999Tracy chips a tooth. Nice trips tho.
>>3000"Are we still gonna fight?" she asks excitedly.
>>3001Thez helps Tracy to her feet. Then looks back at Trump.
"Are we?" she appears behind him. "Are we?" She appears upside down, in mid air, sitting indian style in front of him. "Are we are we are we??" she beams.
[1d20 = 13]>>3002*Trump casts DEFENSE for Tracy*
"Tell me she demon, are we?"
"YAY" She assumes a curious stance, her knees bent outward to the sides, her hands by her face in the posture of a peace sign. On her face she adopts a goofy expression and starts drooling bubbles.
"Take all the time to prepare that you need," she says with the same wide-eyed, goofy expression.
>>3005Trump is now confused
>>3007Are you kidding? Thez LOVES to fight, but doesn't often fight things that can survive more than one hit. Because of Trump's level and experience, he can. Maybe even two! But he doesn't know any of this.
*doesn't often get the chance to....
>>3008Trump knows he is dead. And that which is dead, may never die
>>3010Oh, and if you're confused about her stance,... that's Crab-style.
*hobbles to feet and pull another knife out of seemingly-infinite knife-cozy, with maw*
>>3010>*spoons*
>>3012>triple-wielding,... I'll allow it
K, so Trump is buffed with OFFENSE and has his sword and shield ready, while Tracy is now brandishing three knives and has DEFENSE enabled. Thez still has a funny look on her face, is still drooling bubbles, and hasn't moved other than her eyes occasionally shifting back and forth from Trump to Tracy.
>>3014>still staying off to sideAnyone got food?
Some of the guards on the wall have taken notice of the scene, but they seem more entertained that alarmed or concerned.
>>3014not yet
*hobbles to hind legs and pulls out two more autistic movie props out of knife-cozy*
".. A little poison won't stop me. I've shrugged-off more blood-born infections than you could count..!"
>>3014Trump readies a HEAL spell, to be used either for himself or for Tracy as necessary
"Blue Pony, do you wish to impress me? Then help me take down this she demon!"
Trump lurches forth
not to land an attack, but to see how Thez responds, and to encourage her to make a move
>>3015"There's still some of Barry's face,...."
>>3018"..Unf..!
*doki doki*
[1d20 = 16]
With one of her peace signs, Thez grabs Trump's sword by the blade.
>>3017The poison only lasted for a few minutes by the way, you're back to normal.
>>3019Ewww, I meant real food
>>3017"Like HIV?" Torcuil scoffs
>>3018Trump is personally convinced that Thez is actually the one holding him hostage in the game, that he is actually immortal, and that he can defeat her in open combat, but thinks that there is a better place and time to do thisTrump smiles, as if to acknowledge the sexual innuendo of her grabbing his sword. "Very well, please forgive my impropriety. Years in the service have made me a bit suspicious"
"blue pony, I spoke too quickly. You may stand down"
"Awwww,...." Thez is disappointed. "Well shucks."
>>3026I still want some actually food
>>3024"If it's a disease, I'm already immune to it, by now."
She looks at the soldiers standing watch. "What the hell are you staring at??" she shouts, before realizing she's still all purple and nude and such. "Whoopsie!"
she says before putting her mask back on. The guards exchange glances before one steps away from the wall and out of sight.
>>3026With this response, Trump is disappointed in his not taking an opportunity for a learning experience, but he continues onwards to the city
>>3027"Torucil, may we speak in private?"
"I assume you mean cooked food, so yeah we should probably check this place out," she says before following behind. "I hope there's a brothel,...."
>>3034*unmanly screaming*
Feel free to talk amongst yourselves as I describe.
As the group approaches the gate, you can see a sign that says "Welcome to Port City! A port city that would have a much better name if Barry wasn't such a douche and causing others to compensate for his lack of discipline and professionalism."
The city its self is several miles long and wide. Trade shops, lodging and services, and a bustling bazaar are all located near the entrance to the City, while residential and governmental is further back.
>>3032"I can cover you if you are want for money when we get to a pub..."
*looks to make sure Thez is not listening, then whispers*
"So as you know, we are in some sort of limbo in the afterlife. This one here, Thez, is a real demon. She could only be an agent of those keeping us from reaching the green fields of Mile High. We are already dead, and so we cannot die here. But if we could injure that demon - disable her for long enough - we can escape the trance she has left us in, and from those malevolent entities that seek to keep us enthralled, and to our Valhalla of Sports Authority Field"\r
>>3036*Trump begins to wonder if Barry really did have it coming*
Situated near the entrance to the city is a booth that says "Information center", and standing at the booth is this guy. Thez wanders over to ask for directions.
>>3035>Wearing a kilt for easy access
This is the future you chose.
>>3037>I thought I was talking to ThezCan we do names now?
AANNYYWWWAAAYYY
Eh idk
tell you the truth I don't remember much Before(tm)
Possible? Yes
Likely? eh
The thing about Barry is that he works in another department from me, but its a department that I used to work and am exceptionally skilled at. Barry knows that if he does less than his best, the company will call on me to essentially clean up after him which I did, because though I could have said "no", it would only have hurt our productivity come monday, and I am notorious within the company (literally, they call me a nazi,... the irony) for being unwilling to allow unnecessary down time). Yeah, I got OT for it, but I had planned on scripting this session much more meticulously and carefully, but was unable to.
>>3043This is what happens when you blog-post in an RPG..
I know that feel though...
>>3043I'm really fucking confused
Thez addresses the big-nosed fellow. "Excuse me man,... does this down have, like, prostitutes? I'm asking for a friend."
>>3043If this explanation had been given, Trump would have immediately put down his sword. But he's a Paladin, so he wasn't going to let a face of a seemingly innocent person be ripped off without comment>>3042I am banned from using the namefield by Atlas. No really, I am>>3042"Don't you see? We are being held prisoner here in this dimension"
>>3039Trump feels as if he recognizes the man as an ally
\r
>>3046"I'm sorry sir, but there is a 5 shekel charge for information," he chuckles and rubs his hands.
"5 shekels for directions? What kinda town is this?"
"I told you, its 5 shekels for information," he continues to rub his hands together.
>>3047Appreciated, but the way the dialogue was worded Thez wasn't about to comply. She has her pride you know,.... ^_~
>bannedLMAO
>>3048>Slides in, tripping on rockI've got 25 shekels for a full Q&A of how ever many questions you want
>>3047>bannedKEK
EEE
KEK
HOW?
>>3050Yes, yes of course. Anything for you my good goy,... er I mean, honored traveler. What can I help you with?
"He says holding out his hand expectingly."
>>3052>I signal discreetly to Thez that they are indeed fake shekelsAsk away Thez...
>Hands over 25
>>3051Thez, in Urri form, leans over to Torcuil and whispers: "Ask him where the hoes at."
>>3050>>3049something something "must post under anonymous or name and capcode NO EXCEPTIONS" was the rule. Something about starting drama>>3052"Good sir, could you tell us where we are?"
>>3053>Giving a kike fake shekels
They can smell money, you dunce! What do you think those noses are for?
>>3054Excuse me goy, but
BITCH WHERE DA HOES AT
>>3053Thez wasn't expecting that. "Oh,... here man," and hands the shekels to the fellow. "So yeah, I was like, wondering if there's like, prostitutes in this town. I mean you've got lots of sailors so I figured,...." she trails off as the fellow busies himself inspecting the coin. Its of an unfamiliar type (to him) so he carefully pours over ever detail, completely ignoring Thez.
"Uhm," she says as he starts pulling out a pair of scales and a water glass.
"Yes yes, just a moment."
[1d20 = 18]>>3058Oh fuck
I roll to meme the scales
He impatiently points toward the government buildings, not even looking up from his task. Using a couple of weights, he measures the weight of the coins. He narrows his eyes at this, and then marks the glass of water with a spot of grease, and then drops one of the coins into the glass.
>>3059nice timing and rollAfter marking the glass a second time, he then pours the indicated water into yet another glass, with measurements on the side. The whole process complete, he smiles.
"Yes of course, what was it you wanted again?"
Thez meanwhile, immediately starts off for the whores.
>>3060"So where exactly are we?"
"This city is an open port servicing all manner of mercenary and entrepreneurial operations he means pirate town. People come from all over to sell their stolen,... I mean totally legitimately acquired goods and exchange them with others or for services, which are available aplenty".
>>3063He chuckles at the mention of a library. "Oy vey no, there is no demand for books here, other than as black market, I mean commodity trading."
>>3064"Where could the ships in the port take me?"
>>3065Food?
Also where is this "Commodity Trading?"
>>3064"Tell me... Do you know where I could buy a bolter?"
"For food there are several Inns that provide the finest kosher meals. The Sticky Wicket is our most popular, while the Rusty Duck has the finest service."
>>3069And Commodity Trading?
>>3068"Yes, there is a stable just outside the city, on the opposite side of the entrance you came from."
>>3070He begins to chuckle and rub his hands some more.
"Commodities. Why yes, we have all manner of commoditites, and if you don't, we can acquire them! Is there anything in particular you are in the market for?"
>>3071"To be clear, you mean a Gyrojet weapon?"
>>3072>speaks up"Do you have cosplay in pony sizes?"
Another passerby approaches, looking curiously similar to the fellow at the booth.
"Excuse me, I'm looking for,... fish," he says placing 5 shekels on the counter, which the fellow sweeps up immediately.
"Yes of course! Would you like the usual fish, or are you looking for something more exotic?"
"I'm thinking something more exotic."
"Of course! The price will be 500 shekels, cash up front."
"A pleasure doing business with you," he says depositing a phat bag of coin on the counter which also immediately disappears into the booth-guy's ready hands.
"Your goods will be delivered to your room," he calls after.
>>3073"Gyrojet? I've never heard of such a thing. Memes? What is a meme? Meme, meme,... such a strange word."
>>3074His eye twitches at the thought of cosplay. "Ahhhh, a connoisseur I see. What type of costume are you looking for. Will you need any accessories?"
>>3076*Trumpaladin begins to suspect he may not have what he wants*
Tell me, do you know where I may acquire a Tavor TAR-21?
>>3076Okay fine, Where do the pirates sell their stuff?
>>3075He suddenly brightens, smiles, and looks again at Torcuil. "Oh, my mistake, I DO know of some mimi books you are talking about. I can arrange delivery if you would like. Cash up front of course."
>>3077"Good goy! I will not tolerate such language! There are children present!"
>>3078"Wares are available at the bazaar, as well as several of the shops that border it."
>>3076"I could use a jacket-hoodie, spandex, fishnet-stockings, a garter belt, striped panties, a spiked dog-collar, anything latex, and fireproof boots. Could I find any of these items here?
I could also use a saddlebag."
>>3080He begins hurriedly writing down the requested items.
"Yes, yes, of course. Will you be wanting a child for this,... expedition?" he winks 'knowingly'.
>>3079>ThinksGive me a minute to get my shekels
GM can I do alchemy?
>>3079*Trumpaladin is baffled at this point*
"where are weapons sold and what is available?"
>>3082Uhm,... do you have lab equipment on hand?
>>3083"Of course of course, there are two businesses that specialize in weapons, the Belligerent Gnome, and Previously Owned."
>>3086>>3083>buying jew weapons
>>3081*eyes hesitantly dart towards Trumpadin and back, in a torn, nervous frenzy*
"...I-I.. I-I'll... PASS on that...!
*whispers*..For tonight..!"
>>3086"Show me the way to the Belligerent Gnome! By the way, do you know where I can buy Thot-repellent and a new set of leather pants?"
>>3083The Belligerent Gnome stocks the finest in masterwork and magically enhanced weapons and apparel, while Previously Owned specializes in 'previously owned' goods.
>>3089He provides directions. its near the bazaar.
>>3090I'll offer you 100 shekels for a meme book, just one. I can pick it up after I eat
Also I'll go to the Gnome
>>3089>Not using the thot b gone spell
"Sir, as for the items you requested, the price is 50 shekels," he chuckles to himself.
>>3093"Yes, yes, of course. Simply give me your shekels, and I will arrange to have your goods brought to you."
Oh, and he doesn't know about Thot spray. Sorry.
>>3093>>3092"Alright then! Off to the Gnome"
*Trumpaladin goes to the Gnome, waiting on Torucil intending to go with him*
>>3095>throws 100 shekelsI want a big book, not some shitty one
>Follows Trump
>>3095>paying him up front in a fucking pirate town
>>3099Eh
I can kill him if he doesn't deliver
Or you could if ya want
Trump, Torcuil (and Tracy?) head off to the Belligerent Gnome.
Meanwhile, Infernius and Yak Lee are standing in the field, drooling on themselves.
The Belligerent Gnome is an emporium of death and please-don't-kill-me (weapons and armor) of all makes and models. They've got Full Plate, they've got glowing full plate, they've got flaming full plate, they've got (lots of plate,... and weapons too). The guy behind the counter looks familiar, but not identical to the booth guy.
>>3102You got any staffs?
>>3102Good sir! Can you show me your finest weapons? Anything in particular for taking down large or demonic targets? Also do you have something to clean leather with?
>>3103"Yes, of course! Do you prefer basic staves or magical staves?"
>>3105Magical
Any with any type of frogs on them?
>>3104"DEMONIC! Oi you there, bring me on over to that lad over there!"
Shouts a voice from behind the counter. The shopkeep grimaces before holding up his hands apologetically.
"I'm uh, not sure that we have anything of the sort, not for fighting demons I'm sure."
"OH CUT THE CRRRRRAP YA LILLIE LIVERED SON OF A RAT! You there! Customer man (its a scottish accent BTW), what manner of DEMON are ya wanting ta kill?!"
"Sir, there must be something else I can offer you."
>>3107>ScottishFinally! A cultured man
>>3107"A snake like looking one. Also, do you have slings for assault-ponies?"
>>3102>monotone of implied interest"Show me your knives."
>>3107Any staves ye bloody wankstains?
>>3106"You want a staff,... with frogs on it?" he seems like he's expecting more.
"OUT WITH IT YA AVARICIOUS PILE OF TROLL-FECES!"
The shopkeeper finally relents and says to Trump: "I may just have something in the back, let me have a look."
He gestures to someone behind the counter before disappearing into a room further back. He is replaced by another large-nosed man.
"You said you wanted frog-staves? Yes of course," he wanders over behind some shelves, where you can hear a squeaking sound. He returns with a wooden staff with frogs drawn on it in some form of black ink.
"And you wanted knives yes?" he directs Tracy's attention to a side display-case featuring knives.
>>3112Eehhhh
Any other staves? just curious
>>3107"Do you know of anything for humanoid reptilian succubi? Or for Giants."
>>3112"Do you have slings for assault ponies?"
The original shopkeep returns holding a large sheathed sword with brass fittings.
"About bloody time I get some recognition and promotion. You've all gone soft under the watchful eye of VANDEREIM!!" shouts the scottish accent, which is actually coming from the sword. The shopkeep places the sword on the counter.
"THIS is an ancient and holy relic, held over from some holy person I couldn't be troubled to remember. It was forged ENTIRELY for the killing of infernals (devils and demons)!
"AYE! An I can drink any of ye under the table, that's for SURE!" the sword boasts.
>>3110*Patience begins to waver*
>>3116"And you wanted knives yes?" he directs Tracy's attention to a side display-case featuring knives.
>>3112
>>3115>turns to TrumpBuy
the
damn
Scottish
possessed
sword
>>3118"That's the spirit laddie! Once again shall the wicked fall to my magnificence and humility!"
The shopkeep smiles and says "This sword is one of a kind, and is available for the low price of 10000 shekels (he says, as though that's an insignificant amount).
>>3117*lip quivers*
"Wh-what kind do you have here? Show me your top-quality merch!"
>>3119>10000holy shit
Anymore staves back there?
>>3115>>3118>>3119TRUMP BUYS THE DAMNED SCOTTISH POSSESSED SWORD
although 10000 is a lot of money. Trumpaladin died with a lot of money on him... but that's a lot. He may have to kill something for hire or make Tracy steal it for him
>>3122YEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
>>3120"Top quality eh?"
you guys,...."We have all kinds of knives. Bane, Defending, Flaming, Frost, Shock, Ghost-touch, Keen, Ki-focus,... can you be more specific?
>>3121"Yes, can you tell me the intended use? I mean, we have cold staves, and warm staves, and nature staves,...."
>>3122Tempted though I am to inquire where Trump is carrying 10000 shekels, fuck it.
"Yes! YES! AGAIN SHALL THEY FEEL THE WRATH OF VANDEREIM THE MASTERFUL, MYSTICAL, MESSIANIC, AND MOST MAGNIFICENT BASTARD (sword)!!" And as he proclaims himself (the sword that is), a "Ahhhhhhh" sound can be heard from nowehere, and a random light shines down upon him. On the hilt is a face, and it is looking at you.
"Oi, you're not much to look at are you?" he says to Trump.
>>3124Magic.
And slapping people who ask too many questions
The shopkeep takes the shekels and runs to the back so fast that you almost think he does Thez's little teleport thingy. His assistant stands in for him.
"Can I offer you goys, er guys something else?"
>>3125"Hmmmm,... perhaps a staff of Transmutation? That would allow you to perform alchemy,... that is, if you're into that sort of thing,... just an arbitrary guess,... at any time or place without equipment!"
>>3124Tracy stares at the collection for a few minutes, looking briefly into her knife-cozy every few seconds.
"... I....." she trails off.
"Can I test one out first? Keeness of edge is very, very important to me."
>>3124*Trump can still write valid checks for weapons procurement from the public funds*
*Trump looks down at the holy instrument whereby he shall bring liberation and justice*
>>3126"I'll need a sling for my assault pony and a sheath for my Vandereim. And tell me, what special armor or hammers do you have?"
>>3127Interesting, but I want to see one more.
>>3129"No amount of money to help our greatest ally is too much," Trump remembers a politician telling him, and it showed in the budget of the Imperial Guard
>>3131Hearing this, the assistant smiles
"Then I know just the thing," he wanders from the counter, but mentions to Tracy "Yes, just don't bleed on anything. There is a dummy over in the corner (there is)."
>>3132I whisper to the group after he leaves
Okay Idea, I can ask to see the staff knock out the assistant, and then we can take what we want. thoughts?
He returns a moment later with a javelin quiver.
"I'm sorry sir, but we've never had a request like that (assault-pony sling?), this is the best I can come up with. As for you," he says indicating Torcuil.
"THIS is a staff of POWER. It is not known the manner of types of magic contained within it, and many of its previous owners did not survive to either discover or record its secrets."
The staff is oak in design, well worn but regularly oiled.
"I am not very knowledgeable with its use, but I do know that it can do this. Shirak!" He proclaims, and the top of the staff begins to emit a bright light, brighter than any torch. "Dulak," he says, and the light disappears.
"Unfortunately, this is also a very rare and priceless relic, available only for 7000 shekels," he asks with a scrutinous expression on his face.
>>3133"That could attract unwanted attention, and I'm not sure it will be necessary. Either my checks are valid and will pay for our procurement with the credit of the Free World behind it, or they won't know that they are invalid until we are well out of this town">>3134Just a classic sling will do, make it big enough to support the blue pony you see over there. And tell me, do you have any polearm weapons? Preferably long, well-balanced, axe on one side and hammer on the other"
>>3137"We do have some masterwork halberds, but nothing magical I'm afraid. As for the sling, I can make an order with one of the tradeshops, though it may take a day to fabricate."
>>3135I would like to purchase both staves
>>3137oh duh, you have checks
>>3137"Wot the bloody 'ell di ya need a halberd for boy? You've got VANDEREIM THE (he repeats his litany)!"
>>3139"BOTH staves! Goodness, the total price for both comes to 11,000 shekels," he can barely contain his excitement.
>Has already teleported into the testing area and tested every edge in the deluxe category and separated the good knives from the cheap rip-offs, which she has left in a pile in the corner
"They're.. very good.. I was looking more into the specialized-offensive category, but... *bites lip*
I'll take the collection!" She declares, a bit a-matter-of-fact-ly
>>3140Trump my old buddy ole pal ole friend...
>>3141Noice art
>>3141The merchant seems to be having trouble standing upright and he grabs a towel from the counter and places it 'in his pocket'. "The whole,... I, excuse me," and he leaves for the back-room. "Be right back!"
>>3143I test the element staff on a rock laying around
I try for Iron
[1d20 = 10]>>3144>forgot roll
The original shopkeeper returns from wherever he ran off to, clearly excited and enthusiastic to take your money.
"Good patrons, you have excellent and cultured taste. The grand sum for the objects you wish to procure is 18,000 shekels, though I'm sure that's nothing for gentlemen (and mares) of your calibur. Since the sum is so much, we will accept guarantee checks for a small premium (cost of doing business). Your total comes to 18,781 shekels, " he concludes after a bit of math.
>>3140"Can you kill a giant? Or grow a few feet longer?" Trump asks Vandereim
>>3138*At the suggestion of it taking a whole day for the sling to be made, Trump wonders how long it woyld take for the merchants to process a bounced check, and he wonders of the "Assistance to Zion" Act, which authorizes indefinite use of tax payer funds and the public credit for purchases of military arms from those of a certian race, and especially where it could conceivably advance the ends of the chosen race, still applies in this twilight realm*
>>3142>>3147No price is too great for our greatest allies!
>>3147*Rummages through seemingly-bottomless knife-cozy*
"You do pawn, correct?"
>>3145To your moderate surprise, the rock shudders for a moment before assuming a bronze-red color. The transmutation was successful, you have a chunk of pure iron.
>>3146the pic of a drawing made me thing it was oc art, but I knew you werent the faggot who came up with Tracy>>3148My brother, I am indebted to you
But I will not repay you in the "special ways" tracy is
>>3150>I pick it up, keeping if incase it may be usefulAlso COMPLETELY off topic
What are shekels made of?
>>3148"Ah kin kill anything that needs killin' lad! Yew're lookin' at the sharpest blade in this whole Game (it is, I broke the rules making 'him'). I can't get bigger, but ah can fly! Watch this lad, toss me in the air!" Vandereim encourages Trump.
>>3149"In rare cases we will accept quality second-hand goods, but we prefer to deal in new merchandise."
>>3151Shekels = gold
>>3150Oh and, do you have magic arrows? Or improved armor?
>>3152"Impress me" Trump tosses Vandereim in the air
>>3148"Oi! Wait lad,... there's somethin', somethin's comin'. Somethin' WICKED. OI, take hand of me and lets get tah KEEELIN' (the wicked, that is)! Its comin' closer! Ah think its comin' this way!" He gets more excited as he continues.
>>3152Gold? Hmmm.
Hey, you guys pick a place to eat I need to get my book
>>3154Okay, this happens before the caveat.
Upon throwing Vandereim in the air, the sword spins once and then stops, hanging in the air for a moment. It then slowly glides to the ground, as though virtually weightless. You also notice that it has a square tip, not intended to be used for stabbing.
>>3156"Good customer, if you will simply render the funds we can conclude the transaction."
>>3156>>3155>>3157At the suggestion of Vandereim, Trump decides to pay the good man using a check clearly backed by the public credit, and leave the establishment under the pretense of looking for food
>>3156"Alright, do that as you follow me"
"Tracy, I'll pay for your items, just follow me"
"I was hoping to save these to hire Nicolas Cage to appear at our wedding ceremony, but.. *bites lip* I can figure that out later. It's not like they cut well, anyway."
>>3158>assuming I can spell>>3159Three cheers for not starving to death!
Hip hip
>>3159>>3161*quickly shoves all the knifes into knife-cozy, and blushes at the prospect of her husbanbdo picking up the bill like a chad*
As Vandereim continues to encourage Trump, Thez (still in Urri form) walks through the door.
"Here you guys are! This place SUCKS. The whores here act like they,... wait, whats up guys?"
"THERE! THAT'S THE VILE,... NOW JUST WAIT A SECOND! GILANA?! WHAT THE BLOODY, WHAT THE FECK ARE,... YOU'RE THE DEVIL?!" He seems to think for a moment. "Wait a second,... that means ah kin KILL ya now! OI! (Talking to Trump) hoist me so we can put an end to this foul creature!"
Thez however facepalms and says "You've got to be fucking kidding me."
"TO GLORY MAN!" Vandereim seems to tug in the direction of Thez.
"Um, sir?" says the shopkeeper.
"For fucks sake," says Thez.
*unsheathes Cain's demon-slaying knife and licks the edge of it, not even paying attention to the situation*
>>3163I'm assume no good hoes?
>>3162Don't thank me, you can thank the good citizens of (what nation is Trumpaladin from exactly?). It is they, not I, who have paid for this assistance to the great merchant people.
>>3163Sensing that it is not quite the proper time for this, Trump mentions over to the merchant "Excuse men, can I get the sheath for Vandereim?" takes, the sheath, and tries to sheath Vandereim until the time is right
>>3160"Very nice by the way, but I'm afraid not quite of the quality we prefer at the Belligerent Gnome. Have you tried Previously Owned?"
>>3167>Trumpire"Wait! No! You, aw ye pansy," V laments. "You haven't heard the last of me wench!"
>>3166"They wouldn't even let me see 'em! They told me I had to pay to walk in the damn door!"
>>3165I'm not sure which one is Cain's demon-slaying one (though there is a demon-slaying one) is, but sure.
>>3168"No, but I might try it out. It's nice to know who last used a tool..." Tracy say nonchalantly, as she gathers up all the knives in the store and places them into her little sack.
The assistant walks up to the shopkeep and whispers in his ear. He whispers back, they start slap-fighting each-other, and the shopkeep turns back to face you.
"With all that, I simply need a guarantee of payment and our transactions are concluded." ^_^
Trump notices the shopkeep cast the assistant a sidelong glance.
>>3171>leans toward TrumpCan i turn them into silver?
The assistant proclaims. "Due to the immense load of,... business you have brought our fine shop, I have been assured that your lodging and food are gratis at the Sticky Wicket. Their able staff will be waiting to serve you free of charge, whenever you should desire to patronize their establishment."
>>3169"Don't you worry, your time *will* come," Trump says to Vandereim as he sheaths him
>>3171Trump tenders a check with special insignia to the merchant. "This is basically a treasury bond. Credit of the highest order. All the banks in the world will fail, and the sun will fail to rise, before the government skips out on an interest payment. But I'm sure your fine people already know that from decades' experience"
>>3174Thankfully that is unnecessary
>>3175Huzzah! To the Sticky Wicket!
>>3177The merchant doesn't recognize the markings of the document, but given that Trump coughed up 10000 shekels (thats enough to buy a Keep BTW) he's not parsing hairs. He smacks his assistant and directs him to direct the party.
>>3177"Its not ME time that's a comin' lad! That one's not ta be trusted! Say the word, and we can reign not-hell down upon 'er!"
So the assistant leads the way to the Sticky Wicket, a 2-story Inn, bar, and grill situated conveniently in a convenient place. Its convenient.
At the door you are greeted by a large-nosed fellow.
"Good afternoon!" says the door-man as you (?) make your way inside.
>>3178>Trump whispers to Vandereim - "Oh I know. That's why I bought you">>3178*Trump is disturbed by the possibility the credit was not recognized*
Meanwhile, Yak Lee and Infernius are still drooling on themselves.
>>3180Its multi-dimensionality, don't read into it.
>>3179>I leave the group to go get my book I ordered
>>3179Trump is reassured by the appearance of the man, who looks similar to many fine individuals Trumpaladin worked with in his former life
The Sticky Wicket offers an ample buffet of deluxe-priced foods, as well as a bar and grill for more specialty entrees. There's a fireplace, a winding staircase (leading to the rooms) and seating pretty much wherever you could want to sit.
Thez says "Now we're talking," and wanders to the bar.
Another jew (oh lets not kid ourselves) wanders over and asks "Do you have any baggage you need assistance with? Your reservation was called ahead."
>>3183The book was agreed to be delivered.
>>3185"Oh, no thank you. I only have a few items on me"
>>3186Oh, i thought I was going to pick it up
>>3185"No baggage for me
Torcuil runs to the buffet, stuffing a plate
>>3187"Very well sir. Here is your key (no 33), second hall on the left, upstairs. Would you like something prepared for you, perhaps there's a dish you'd like prepared?"
>>3188I stand corrected, that WAS the arrangement. You venture off to the booth, but find it unoccupied for the moment, with a "Will Return" sign.
Thez walks back with a frustrated look on her face. "10 shekels for a drink? What kinda operation is this?!" she crosses her arms impatiently. "Ya'll are lucky I'm lawful,...."
>>3190Trump takes the key,
"Great! I'll take a Taco bowl as an appetizer, an angus steak - well done - and for desert I'll have a chocolate cream pie with not one, but two scoops of vanilla ice cream"
>>3192"Ready in 10min sir! DO you take Ketchup?"
>>3192>>3193Kek
>>3190Eh, I go back and eat
>>3192"I'll have what he's having! Make that rare though."
So basically, the stage is set for everyone to settle in. Torcuil has a pair of staves, one the worn oaken one and the other a weathered-green copper shaft (transmutation). Trump has an ever-talkative bastard (sword) on his back, and Tracy has sooooooo many new knives,.... <3
The food is decent quality, Trump's steak being suitably well-done per his taste, while Tracy's steak is so rare its bluish (the best way to eat a steak FYI). Torcuil fills up on Argentine Joint, potatoes and greens, when the cook appeared from behind the scenes,... sorry, and proffers cakes, pies and pastries. Thez finds herself a vacant spot on one of the couches surrounding the fireplace, and sits in irritated contemplation.
SO not done yet, if that's what ur thinking, unless u have-to go
Except for Lee and Inf, who have collapsed, but are still drooling
>>3196>doesn't know wtf it even is>no sense of taste anyway"I'll take that too."
>>3198Past midnight for me. Like usual...
>>3200I suspected. Shall we wind then?
>>3200same and I want sleep, so see yall laterTorcuil finds his way to his room and retires for the night
>>3195>>3200Aren't you like a pony though? Should you be eating steak at all?>>3202After the meal, Trumpaladin enters the room pr rooms, and is careful to check all possible entrances and exits, and whether the group is split apart across several rooms
>>3203>Questioning what Tracy Cage is eating
Alright! <session-terminating cinematic incoming>
As the evening progresses, the various pirates, er sailors, make their way to their rooms (being on strict schedules of rape and murder). Torcuil retires first, followed by Trump, and then (presumably) Tracy, while Thez contemplates from the fireplace.
Stillness permeates through the building, nothing untoward occurring or registering from inside the party's spacious (you got a good room) accommodations. Everything seems peaceful and calm,... until suddenly one of those big-nosed fellows (though now his face has fur and big whiskers) punches through the floor. The fellow is clearly incapacitated, but also clearly bestial. From below you can hear Thez chastize herself: "I knew it. I FUCKING knew it! Come on then motherfuckers! Let's get MeSsY!!"
>>3206>punches through the floorJust his face mind you.
From inside the room, the presence of several stomping feet can be detected from the lower floor, and an increase in ambient speech suggests that several people have decided to enter the Inn for 'an unknown reason' and are engaged in a heated exchange. Some thumping and shuddering can be felt through the building, and a feeling of uneasiness slowly creeps over the party. Except for Lee and Infernius that is.
[1d20 = 11]>>3203>*door creaks ever so softly*
>>3208ROFLMAO
Nice. We'll leave it at that. ^_^
Afterthoughts:
>>3203You're surprised that Tracy Cage is eating meat? Also, Vandereim proceeds to proclaim that whatever is going on downstairs is clearly a result of you not killing that wench.
>>3202>gave money to a JewGood luck with that. No spoilers but,....
>>3209I see. It's the same as happens in "The Shadow Over Innsmouth" by H.P. Lovecraft. Thankfully, Trumpaladin has prepared for precisely this situation. Since I was kind of expecting it. But not furry jews. That was a total surprise. See
>>3203commence blatant plagiarism the plot of that bookTrumpaladin kicks the rat-jew-whatever back down in its hole and alerts his party (which apparently is in the same room as him), and goes through the door between rooms into the vacant room adjacent, but not before barricading the door to the main room. There, he barricades both doors while looking for a way from the second or third or so floor to ground level. After climbing down to the ground level, Trumpaladin goes through the less well lit and silent alleys to the edge of town, and hides in the river bed under a bridge
Okay, I don't know how much of that my character can do, but that's more or less what I would have him do outside of cinematic mode
>>3212>>tfw when you wake up just as the game ends
>>3214You find yourself in the field you last spoke to the party in. There is a Yak here. You seem to have zoned out for a while. Its night time. In the distance (from the city) you hear a commotion.
>>3214I don't mind, you can work your way into the city if you'd like, but I'll avoid it getting to hairy until next time.
>>3215As i recover from the weed i smoked i charge towards the commotion.
>>3213>tfw I'm plagiarizing HP Lovecraft and I haven't even read himIt happens. As for Trump,... we'll say that he gets to the adjacent room and barricades both doors. We'll work on the rest in due course.
>>3217With a mighty cry of "REEEEEEEEEE", Infernius charges toward the town, his mighty sword in hand, wondering WTF happened while he was stoned. As you enter the city, most of the buildings are closed and darkened, but there are a couple buildings still light, one in particular surrounded by individuals with characteristically large noses.
Cinematics aside, if you guys want to modify the schedule (earlier? later? time-travel?) so to be more accommodating, I'm open to input.
[1d20 = 13]>>3219I perception to see if they are jews
>>3222Don't get me started. Thez could have had her way with you, but she was still pissed about Barry. Speaking of which, I forgot to kill him again.
>>3223There's not a small-nose to be seen.
>>3224I walk over to them, giant swastika on my chest clearly visible.
>>3225As you approach, the trailing one turns and looks at you. "Oy vey!" he exclaims, which alerts another couple, who then turn and "Oy vey!", leading to a cascading domino-effect of "Oy vey!, Oy Vey!, Oy vey!" that travels through the group. There's about 30 that you can see in front of you, as well as more inside the building.
Combat from here on, so probably better to stop
>Like a fucking bull in a china shop
>>3228Sorry about that. Don't worry though, as soon as next session starts, its gonna be killing.
>>3229Ah no worries, its my fault for sleeping so long.
[1d20 = 5]
>Denziens of a mysterious town invite an outsider to, among other things, stay at an inn on a second-or-higher floor. That, night, the entire town masses to try and capture and kill the outsider. In fact, pretty much the entire town is amassed there to the degree that the rest of the town is more or less dead. In fact, I'm betting the furry jews will call forth masses of reinforcements from the sea
>Exactly as happen's in Lovecraft's "The Shadow over Innsmouth
>Exactly as I was expecting would happen
Trumpaladin, I'm guessing now barricaded in the second room with Tourcil and maybe Tracy, says "I knew that cashier's unfamiliarity with the insignia was a red flag. Check must have bounced. And hush Vandereim, I don't trust that snake down stairs, but not everything is her fault."
Trump looks out the window and checks for any way to get from the room to the street at ground level. Roll for detection
>>3231Damn, I had no idea. Its not quite as bad as you describe, but you don't know that yet. As for the rats (were-rats, simplicity FYI),... well Trump doesn't know but Infernius can see no less than 30 of 'em. Also, friendly GM reminder that these were-rats are sentient and will not walk into extended weapons in the same sense that zombies will.
>>3232Yep, unless we notice a present quorum through the week.
[1d20 = 10]>>3233In the book, the protagonist is alone, is a college student, and has at most a revolver. He's also outnumbered with the entire town against him *and* 5 times that number coming in from the ocean. So he has to escape by stealth. In this case, Trumpaladin is well armed and has probably two well armed companions with him, but he doesn't want to engage the were-rats. Partly because he thinks they are after him for a bounced check, so they are sort of in the moral right (Remember that his background is not what you would call "red pilled"; he does not mistrust jews or jewishness); partly because he doesn't want to piss off the were-rats too much (they can burn down the inn with him in it); and partly because he is extremely outnumbered, with possibly the entire town against him, and who knows what or who is docking in the harbor. So Trump seeks to exit by stealth, and spook the were-rats with Varmereim's taunts if they break through the door
>>3235Yea thats the opposite of my plan
>>3236You're not trapped in a small room in a flammable building completely surrounded by were-rats who took your personal information down earlier. Also, your character is an anti-semite
>>3237Infernuis come and find friends, even if he have to kill everyone in town.
Something to be aware of with regard to combat. While individual scores are the rule, in cases of joined combat/maneuvers, combines scores can apply. For example, let's say Infernius had a 30 strength (he doesn't, just saying). This would make it so he can pretty much minotaur-handle any shmoe with a 10 strength unless he rolled a 1 (str check is score +1d20 vs. opponent). Having said, if 3 10-str shmoes worked together to man-handle him, they would collectively have a score of 30, on par with his. Similar bonuses can apply with regard to flanking and other coordinated efforts. Additionally, if a character is rendered 'helpless' (unconscious, bound, held {magic or physically restrained} or otherwise made unable to resist or defend against an attack, they can be automatically 'coup de grace'd by an opponent as a standard action (avoiding attack roll cuz helpless). So for example, while Trump could have essentially waded into zombies cuz they're idiots and he's in plate, if he waded into were-rats (arbitrary example) he's probably get ripped apart. ^_^
Also, this fight is going to lean a bit more on maps, positioning, range, and combat sequence.
G'night!
So who is gonna be on tonight?
or am I a faggot with no life?
>>3240Infernuis have nothing going on today.
>>3240But I had things I wanted to do...
>>3244Take care of what you need to do in meatspace, ~Flaaashy. I will make sure your avatar is well guarded and taken care of.
I'm not set on anything at this point,... but I'd be lying if I said I wouldn't be available. In the meantime,... this is just one of the maps I should have had available,... yesterday.
Blue is windows, maroon is furniture (tables, chairs, stools, and couches), and purple is the secured party area.
>>3246Can Infernuis get a map of where he is?
>>3247Grey = (((them))) but not to scale
>>3249Dank map. Also can i multi class into a witcher at some point?
>>3250>wants to add an entire vidya brand to the game mechanics>is already a MLP Minotaur, cleric, with a greatsword, for Adolph Hitlere_e I'll look into it, but I promise nothing
>3251
While we're adding video games, can I be a space marine?
>>3251Theres a class for it in 3.5 and 5th
>>3254IK, it used to be called Spelljammer.
>sigh>>3252I'll say this; IF certain resources which are/will-be available to the party are successfully utilized, WHICH is reasonably possible, THEN Trump MAY get the opportunity to cross-class as a space marine.
As for 'Witcher', I've never played so I don't even know what kinda properties a witcher has. Curiously, the space marine (getting ur ass to space aside) is the easier to incorporate.
>>3255Would a jedi be easier?
>>3257So let me clarify: are you asking to already HAVE levels in jedi/W? OR are you asking to be able to GAIN levels in jedi/W?
>>3258>>3257>involving Jedis
>>3261Posting from a phone
>>3262Jedi and space marines go hand in hand
>>3263i think you are thinking of the wrong soldiers, Anon
>>3260Well, in D&D jedi powers are called psionics, so its not much of a stretch.
>>3264TR-8R was the best character in that entire movie.
>>3269i thought the emo sith guy was pretty gud
>>3271Felt kind of lame to me desu. Seemed like just an edgy, emotional faggot who always got bullied, so he shot-up the school.
>>3272yea but i feel that hes got potential for the next 2 movies.
>>3273I might give it a chance. Would've liked to see a villain with real ambition though, not just an edgy wannabe Darth Vader.
>>3274im sure they will flesh out his character some more.
>>3274>>3273im not much into SCI FI or Star wars for that matter, but if this franchise is going as badly down the drain as the rest of the post 2000 media, you are in for some terrible shit. Studios these days dont produces quality, they dickride on their name. It was made by people who were not genuine artists, but fans of the product who wanted to film their own bad fanfiction or were hired with current year contracting practices. Either way, people will still pay for it because star wars, but this is also why it is going to shit. The brand name has become an anchor and is dragging the thing to the bottom of the quality sea.
>>3276A trillion times this.
>>3276we need to gas most of the directors in (((hollywood)))
>mfw this is now a Star Wars thread
Come on, I can't even leave for a couple hours to redpill someone? Sheesh.
>>3280"He's just butthurt cuz he hasn't seen any of the new SW yet and can't comment," Thez jibes.
>>3281they're very meh,rouge one is worse than the prequels tbh
>>3282The only real good part was
the part before everybody died.
>>3281so are we gonna play or no?
>>3285ROLE CALL
>lets find out
>>3286*steps out of the shadows*
summoning
Trump
Meme Man
YakLee
>>3285Here!
>Weirdly enough I was summoned by the report queue
>>3246>>3249Okay, so looking at the map layouts, it looks like it might, just might, be possible to go through the second door and into the room closest to the stairwell. Once in that room, exit through the door and onto the main stairwell, then down one floor onto the second floor balcony. Then jump the one floor down to the ground on the opposite side of the building as most of the were rats are located. Inferius will probably inadvertently serve as a distraction to help facilitate this
>>3290I'm sure I had nothing to do with it....
>>3293i scream *im an anti-semite look at me* and then run off into the woods
>>3293I won't say no, but I should point out that the image on the right is a sideprofile and not an overhead (I should have notated). So, your plan could work, except that there are only 2 floors. Other then that though, yes.
>>3241>>3243I would be offended but what the hell, who cares
>>3244Too bad
>>3260BUT MY SCI FI STORY
>>3292Ayyyy
>>3293Mob status?
>>3296Oh I see. In that case, it would be easy enough for all of the characters to escape out of the room they are currently in through the window onto the street only one floor down, probably with the help of curtains or bed-sheets or some sort of rope.
Also, Yak man is here
>>3292
Well shit, that's everyone.
>cracks knuckles
>>3297We can see from the diagram that the mob is located in large measure outside the main entrance to the building, which is on the other side from where the windows would have us exit. I also believe there are some immediately outside of our doors, although it's possible we have a clean shot down to the first level, but we couldn't get out that way without going through the main door were the mob is, and they *could* be in the hallway, so I'd rather go out the window. Thez is in the first floor, and Inferius is coming on the other side of the mob, so I think we'll have enough distractions to make a clean get away out the window
>>3297Good question. Other than the face that just punched through the floor, the mob status is not seen except the outside edge by Infernius. The 'main' room door (for the party's "declared" room) starts banging, though Trump (aptly) secured the first AND second room. You can tell it is a 'decent' sized group.
[1d20 = 19]>>3302>>3303Alright, well I'm going with the "Shadow over Innsmouth" option. Roll to looks for any items that could be of use in exiting from the window to the first floor. Also, look out the window to see if there is danger.
[1d20 = 19]>>3304Damn nice role
I roll to turn try turning a Jew into, ironically enough, gold
just to see if it works
>>3301Wat
>>3304So, you're entering the third room (closest the stairs) and proceeding to the window, yes?
[1d20 = 16]>>3303see
>>3295
>>3307I caught that, I'm just making sure what is going to immediately happen when unpaused
>>3306No, there is a window on the room he is in. We are exiting through it
>>3308just making sure you saw
[1d20 = 18]
>tfw you fall asleep during combat
*wakes up; unsheaves knives*
roll for detection
>>3311Calm down, we're locked in a room together
>>3312You might not have wanted to phrase it like that,....
There is no window in any of the rooms currently occupied, the windows are on the sides of the hallway.
>>3311You detect commotion. Double digits downstairs, double digits upstairs, even more outside.
Oh, b is bathroom. I forgot to mention
[1d20 = 15]
Alone in a field.
>>3292Now then, Yak Lee. You, unfortunately, awaken from being passed out in a field. The same field that sits just outside the city where all the commotion is occurring. You (more than anyone) are free to decide what to do. However, its night time and the only thing lit up at the moment is the city, and that's clearly the center of activity, so,....
>>3313>phrase it like thatNOPE IM NOT GETTING ON THE RAPE TRAIN
So hows the gold jew going?
[1d20 = 11]>>3313>>3318I see. We go through the door between rooms to the first room, then exit out of that door into the hallway,and then through the window from the second floor onto the ground level. Before this is done, it may be helpful to
1. make a rope of bed sheets to help get down to the ground
2. pick up a table and use it to battle through rats, break the window, and anchor the bedsheet rope, and
3. have tourcil cast a spell stunning rats in the hallway
Roll for whatever needs rolling
Also, is killing were-rats going to have consequences? Ideally I'd like the party to get out out killing no one
>>3318>implying we're not already on it
[1d20 = 20]>>3317I stealth towards the town.
>>3318Gold jew? U mean the booth guy?
>>3319>no killingwew! Pic related is what you see on opening the door.
>>3321And Yak Lee becomes the wind and spirits toward the city.
[1d20 = 18]>>3321>perfect roll*stealth after him*
>>3322My character is under the assumption these are reasonably normal town folk who are pissed off that he and his party defrauded them out of lots of money, so it makes sense from his point of view
>>3323You're trapped in the room with my character in the inn, not outside towm
>>3318If you can turn jews into gold then we can buy a ship at the harbor
>>3325Gotcha. Still, there's lots, and some of them draw rapiers.
>>3326I assume she means follow you, which that is a great die roll for.
>>3322No no no
Turning a jew INTO gold
>>3318adolf likes this plan
>>3328Regardless, if they stay and fight, that gives the were-rats time to bring in reinforcements. And this is a town literally based on being a port of call for people whose job it is to kill people for money. They were able to summon ancient weapons of extreme power very easily. It's best not to be bogged down in a confrontation
And the quads go to,....
>>3333>>3310Alright, you scream "I'm an anti-semite!" and then run away, and though you don't know it, almost run into Yak Lee who is sneaking in the opposite direction. Yak Lee watches the were-rats dismiss the minotaur and refocus on the building.
[1d20 = 6]>>3332Alright, proceed to the third room and collect a table or some item, along with a bedsheet
>>3330If you want to test on a rat, test on that rat closest to the window when we exit into the hallway
>>3336K, you have a bedsheet and a table. There is now pounding and attempting on both barricaded doors.
>>3335have i noticed they arent following me?
>>3338Yes. No offense, but you just showed up (from their perspective, you've been outside the whole time; they don't know you're even associated with the party) as far as the town is concerned. Also, they don't call them 'semites' or 'anti semites' here, so from their perspective you just yelled "Purple Monkey Dishwasher!" and then ran off with a big sword.
[1d20 = 16]>>3339ok i charge them then
[1d20 = 9]>>3337Well, we should now be in the third room, the room closest to the window
Charging out the doorway, towards the window, and beating the nearest rats with the table trying to get to the window. Tourcil and Tracy should follow
>>3341Returning to the fray. Also Yak at bottom
>>3341Okay, I rolled a 19 for my gold thing
Can I just turn a couple of rats into gold then
[1d20 = 6]>>3342I sneak through the bazaar. Is that a door by the kichen?
[1d20 = 16]>>3343Break the window with the table, and tie the bed-sheet to the table. I'm guessing Tourcil should go first since he's the least apt in Melee against the rats right there in the hallway that are not gold
>>3341>using the table and not the ridiculous bastard he just spent a mint onThe rat nearest the window is easily able to avoid such an unwieldy weapon as a frikkin table. e_O
>>3344And here I thought I could get away with not detailing the kitchen. Yes, there is a door in the back of the kitchen.
[1d20 = 11]>>3346I run (quietly?) To the kitchen door.
[1d20 = 2]>>3346>using Vandereim on the ratsBut that kills people
Use the table on the window beat him with the shield
[1d20 = 7]>>3346Also he should be Gold right now
>>3345>wasting my 19Whatever, I slide down the bed-sheet, prepairing my staff for combat
*triple wielding*
"I'll stab them! Should I stab them?!"
>>3349Wait, whose gold?
I am confused on whats going on
>>3347K, done. You're on the south end of the kitchen corner
>>3350Wat 19? Oh wait, I found it. Okay, pic.
>>3351You would(will) stab them, but Torc just turned 3 of 'em into gold.
>>3350>The rats near the window are supposed to be goldIn any event, Trumpaladin puts his weapons on his belt, puts his shield on his back, grabs his pony, and jumps down on the bed sheet
>>3351*grabs pony and jumps out the window*
>>3352Which ever rats you cast the spell on. There are about three rats super close to the window that would be in the way in an attempted break through
Tracy is still sneaky, but the ones on the right are moving closer. Also Torc is in brown can't... do... plaid but he's in the hallway too (in order to transmute).
[1d20 = 20]>>3353Push the one in front of Trump to the ground, break the window, tie down the bedsheet to the table, and get out the window
>>3353I walk in the kitchen.
>>3355Tracy stabs Torcuil. Kidding.
>>3357Push, completely successful. You want him to go out the window? Cuz you rolled a 20. Fuck it. He goes out the window, and the window is broken open (its not something you could open anyhow).
>>3358There's a fellow saying "Bork Bork Bork", and various sounds of cooking, but the commotion hasn't made its way here yet.
>>3359>chandelierQUICK
Whats under the chandelier?
[1d20 = 1]
So! Infernius is rushing back at the mob. They wouldn't expect the minotaur to come back (they don't know why he came and left) so he gets an attack of opportunity,... with a greatsword,... against an unsuspecting foe.
[1d20 = 18]>>3359Alright, now the bedsheets are tied to the table, and the party leaves out the window in the order Tourcil, Trump, Tracy
>>3360*like, hey guys how do i get to lobby* i ask to the chefs.
>>3361Look at
>>3246. It's the table in the front lobby
[1d20 = 14]>>3362so is that 1 bad? or good?
i slash the rat closest to me.
>>3364"Hurrgen furrgen?"
>>3363I'll accept it, except that the rats have closed in and I'm assuming Trump would get in their way before the others (since Tracy is still being sneaky)
>>3366So bad, that I'm willing to let it be a "In a charging rage you tripped and went barrelling into them, causing several including yourself to end up prone and disoriented. No one got harmed, but wtf?
>>3364The doors from the kitchen to the main area are marked, and unobstructed
>>3365Eh, nvm
I switch to the wooden staff, and say
"I call upon the powers of Mike "Deus Volt" Pence"
Before trying to cast lightning
I also mumble something about hoping this will work
>>3361Sorry. Yes, there is a table. No one is standing beneath it, but if you want to cut it free I'd be happy to put Barry there.
>>3363*Follows*
"Where are we supposed to be going?!"
>>3370That only works on faggots.
[1d20 = 18]>>3370>>3368Okay, now, Grab pony
>>3367 and head out the window, I guess after Tourcil casts his spell
[1d20 = 17]>>3370>didn't have to roll but wtf ^_~
>>3369I walk into the lobby ready to fight.
>>3372To the Ground level away from the main group of rats. From there, we can either
1. head out of town and into the forests and grasslands, or
2. go to the harbor and acquire a ship
I'm certain Thez will collect the others and bring them to us
>>3370With gestures, his worn oaken staff, and a "please motherfucker", Torcuil unleashes,...
A wave of electricity. It is something like a lightning bolt, but also like a ball. Its not something he has ever seen before. Oh, and it travels down the hallway you came from, and while you can't see ALL the rats that were there, the ones you can see fall over. I'm sure they're just sleeping.
>>3377They are cured of their homosexuality.
>>3370 Now come out the window
>>3378 Planning on it
*jumps*
>>3376Unfs
"How do we know that she'll show up?"
[1d20 = 5]>>3379Alright we should all be on the ground now outside of the inn, and away from the main concentration of rats. We may now consider calling out for the other members, although that would alert the rats to our presence. We must also decide on whether we want to go to edge of town or deeper into it to the harbor. Also I want my sling, and we could raid shops if we have enough time before leaving.
Rolling for whether rats are on the street and within line of site, though none in the main concentration out side the entrance to the inn should see us
>>3375#1
>>3366#2
>>3381>unseenTrue, they weren't expecting a fight, they were expecting a shoah.
I put Torcuil down 1st cuz I figured Trump would hold the rear (no pun) and Tracy would wait for him.
>>3382I run around to the mob
I notice the fighting and come up this a plan
"Oy Vey, YOU GOYS WANT SHEKELS?"
>>3384>runs *into* the mobJust...
>>3383Yes, trump should come down now
[20d20 = 173]So Infernius (unless he wants to die) springs to his feet as a few standing rats approach, weapons ready.
"You are not what we want, LEAVE this place!" he says hissing and spitting.
>>3384 dice
Tracy? Yak?
At the mention of shekels, all but 3 of the rats Infernius are facing are distracted.
>>3387I shout
"Well you can have six gorillian"
And I cast a burst of supersonic shekels from my staff
>>3386Barely awake, but lurking.
[1d20 = 14]>>3386i get up and attak
[1d20 = 3]
So for simplicity's sake, I'm gonna say that all but the 3 that Infernius already knocked over were distracted at the mention of shekels. Infernius gets to his feet as they do. Trump and Tracy (unless stated otherwise) are behind Torcuil, and Torcuil is casting a "burst of supersonic shekels" (IDFK what THAT means, but I can work sommin')
Yak Lee sees from his position that the lounge area has seen better days, that there are rats who have seen better days, and Thez is giving them what-for (with her tongue at the moment, don't be lewd).
[2d12 = 14]>>3391Infernius lands a solid hit that
>>3391Imagine a bunch of shekels just appearing infront of torcuil, and then shooting off at the jews
>>3388"Alright everyone, time to go, and we must decide to where"
>>3392... causes his rat to diminish in its resolve to attack, tho he's still kicking.
Meanwhile, the supersonic shekels (again wut?) manifest as a field of gold that suspends its self in the air in an arc in front of the rats. Though largely useless against militant targets, the fact that there's untold shekels just floating in the air is too much for the distracted rats to resist, and they begin wandering toward the wall.
>>3391I run out the main doors and round house kick the rat on the right of redbull
[1d20 = 10]>>3395i run him through with my zweihander
Fuck. I really should go to bed...
So what are my shekels doing?
>>3402Night loser, I may hit the hay soon too
[2d20 = 24]>>3394That's pretty much where I was at
>>3396That's your plan?
>>3399He's discouraged, but his friends get to attack too
[2d6 = 7]
Both rats strike Infernius, though minimally and nothing to concern himself over.
>>3403Spinning lazily in midair, and distracting the (((rats))). They're technically not yours but,....
>>3403>loser
I have real-life responsibilities reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
sorry though...
[1d20 = 12]>>3405i slash one across the (((nose)))
[2d20 = 23]>>3407K, just checking. Upon darting toward the door, two rats attempt to block your progress. Since you declared a preparation roundhouse the f out of whoever,...
[4d12 = 34]>>3408Yak Lee busts a Tatsumaki Senpu Kyaku on the two that tried to block his path.
>>3408We'll be here. Thank you. Take care, and see you next time. ^_^
>>3406Can I crash Nirbaru into the rats?
>>3413What, that would kill us too. M8
>>3415>>3416Crash the rats into Nirbaru?
>>3417>_< No, you cannot command planets.
>OR uber-force the rats into a planet
[1d20 = 5]>>3419Fine,
But since my supersonic shekals dont do shit
I roll to turn some of the mob into bronze
As Yak Lee finishes laying out (but not killing) the two who got shown he rocked (nice BTW), Thez appears from the other end of that wall-partition and sees Lee standing over two foes.
"Not bad. We'll have to spar one of these days," she says before darting toward the door (the main 'mass').
>>3420>Fine, I WON'T try and control space and time,....The staff goes "Pfffft".
Pffft
>>3421That... that wasnt a meme
>>3422>ideaI sexually Identify as an attack helicopter?
K. Is Infernius attacking the one who is wounded, or one of the other two? He landed btw.
>>3424You just gave me an idea,... and one that fits entirely with the storyline. One moment (don't worry, u just bypassed the boss fight).
[1d20 = 1]>>3425i slash one of the other 2 across his rat nose
Alright! Fight is over! You don't know why, but let me tell you.
I'll start with Lee. After Thez commented to him and dashed off, he looked to the mass of rats still in the entryway, whom Thez just disappeared in the midst of.
At the same time, Infernius slashes away at the rats in front of him, gashing several (but he needs to learn to finish one off before moving to the next) but slaying none.
At the same time Trump struggles to come up with a plan. None of his surroundings are particularly strategic or useful, but that won't matter in a sec.
Tracy,... well I'll leave any lewdness out of it (its implied tho) is "by Trump's side".
Torcuil begins to question his gender identity, to a degree he may regret at some point (muhuhahahahaha).
As this is all happening,... a portal opens in the air over the entryway. Its the same sort of portal that Yak Lee popped out of, and is horizontally positioned over the entryway (so the "forward" position is "down"). This portal shimmers in the air above the general assembly of (((them))) before a sole and unmistakable sound can be heard.
"BBBBBBBBRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPP" (a burp, not a fart)
As this sound issues forth, so too do gouts of liquid (lit napalm) spew forth from the portal.
What happens next is a mix of horror and splendor depending on one's disposition. On the one hand, you have a multitude of over-sized rats literally dissolving and/or burning from chemical and flame-induced burns, on the other hand you have a bunch of (((them))) getting what they deserve for trying to kike the party (you don't know, but I do). Ultimately, only a VERY small handful are able to escape the beautiful and terrible display, and those are mostly incapacitated (all are unwilling to fight now).
After a few moments of peace/calm (the whole party was stunned by this, even Thez), a 2' tall, golden/black-haired brownie (think Spike, except humanoid) flops through the portal. He places his hands in his pockets, looks around, (recognizing Lee and Thez) and says, "What the fuck is wrong with you. I've been watching the whole thing, and you've been acting like bitches. You DO know they were about to go Giga-Jew on you right?
>giga jew
>>3429Hey man like its you, whats up. I could have taken the gigajew man.
>>3429Trumpaladin wanted to run away from the rats and go steal a ship in the harbor, but nooooooo. Everyone just had to stop to fight the rats for an hour, giving them time to form a giga jew. We could have set sail for Tahiti by now, but no
>>3429>Trump struggles to come up with a planTrump leaves to the harbor
>>3431trump we take weapons and armor?
>>3432Quickly, very quickly. Some extra shekels or gold or what have you since we'll probably have to purchase a crew. Now hurry, and let's go
[1d20 = 9]>>3429perception to find plate armor
[1d20 = 12]>>3429Perception for a bowstaff.
>>3435Fail, rats don't use quarterstaves (bo staves).
>>3434Fail, plate armor hinders their agility and dexterity. Rats prefer (and wear) hides and leather (maybe a smidge of chain, but as support-accents)
>>3430"Hah! Maybe you and everyone here in tandem, but being that you'd be its first target, I wouldn't bet on it. If I were to guess, you'd probably have gotten mangled while it chased after the others. How far THEY got would depend on THAT one (pointing at Thez) and that in its SELF is a risky venture,...."
"Hey, you shut up."
"And even then, the best that could've been hoped is an ignoble retreat."
>>3434Failed
>>3436. Let's go to the harbor. No time to waste
The Brownie (Lenos) breathes out a sigh, his hands still in his pockets.
"Man, we gotta buff you guys." he cringes.
>>3436infernuis need to go. need sleep.
>>3439NP, its cinematic dialogue from here on
>>3438Shit yea we do. *Do they have a carpet?*
Now WITHOUT revealing anything to the characters,... this scene was inevitable. (((They))) were gonna come after you from the moment Trump dropped a 10k sack of shekels on the counter and THEN credited another 18k. They were gonna rape, murder, jack, and loot you for everything you had, and then identity theft, fraud, and otherwise kike everything they could from your rotten corpses. That's what they have done, and thats what they would have done. You don't know this, but YOU do.
>>3442Im pretty sure the big guy knew it.
... with Trump's script (even though its literally invalid in this world) they would have stolen fortunes, simply cuz there's no check-scanning, micr-reading tech to validate.
Tl:dr the party has weak opsec (including Thez). Luckily, these were (((rats))), as there are far more savvy creatures, factions, and entities who may have more to gain from molesting the party?
>>3442I thought Trump handed over zero in shekels and paid 18k in credit that was later revealed to be worthless, giving the rats good reason to come after Trump
We're past bump-limit, so until nu-bread, this is a dialogue thread WRT GAME ONLY XP
>>3445Yes, but. (wibbledy-wobbledy flashback blur with harp sounds)
Initially, Torcuil decided to proffer fake shekels. Through meme he made them appear real, but that only lasted until the shekels went to the next (((rat))), who easily and quickly determined they were fake.
Here's the fun part (again, char's don't know this) it didn't matter. Whether or not the coin was 100% authentic, (((they))) would still have found a reason to decide you weren't entitled to your belongings and have come after you. Even before you distinguished a degree of means (again, 10k is a keep, just for reference) they had their eye on you because Torc dropped 25pcs without blushing. I have to stop here cuz there IS a bit of undetermined theme here, but basically: (((they))) have been watching since you arrived, your entire interactions, and you (the party) distinguished yourselves as being "most probably worth the effort". Previously, they have had no difficulty of those worth the effort, simply because random algorythms have no ingenuity, and can't think beyond attack, slash, and steal (you have to understand the NPC mindset for this to make sense). So, when the 'subject' fought back coordinatively, they were caught unawares. Also, Yak reminded me that Lenos was watching this with his feet back on the console, and he does like to brownie-burp (trademark, no spoilers)
Remember the guy who said exotic fish? That was the moment Gm decided that (((they))) were coming after you. ^_~
>>3447Lennos you should burn down the whole town so they can't do this again.
>>3449He probably will in time, Lenos is a char OC I've been given license to.
>>3450Oh cool, i gotta go gm sorry to bail. Ill check in tomorrow and see what else happens.
Now then, the elephant in the room. (u DID notice right?)
Since inception, the party has participated in the destruction of:
137 zombies
4 fire giants
1 7-head hydra
and now
~50 were-rats
>time for swag
>>3448But that was like within two minutes of encountering them
>This is all not to mention that the town had become slowly and incrementally over-taken by (((them))) to the dismay of the existing population which lacked the ability to prevent (((them))).>>3453And? Are you expecting them to wait for you to brandish a unicorn horn?
>>3454But why did they wait until they gave us awesome weapons. And why not poison the food
>>3455Glad you asked.
Vandereim can only be used by a Paladin, and they haven't seen those (ever) so they thought the sword wouldn't work (not that it did e_e). The staves and knives were assumed to be 're-acquired' upon the party's death, so they didn't think they were 'arming' anyone, since they would just take back what had been sold.
What they were doing (again, non-character spoilers) was encouraging the party to stay, to participate, and to feel (ish) temporarily comfortable. They THOUGHT that doing so would ruin party morale, making them easy targets. Its been over a century since the last player (of this "group") who gave a damn. Again, this is storyline spoilers that chars don't know.
Even if the initial coin hadn't been fraud, they'd have accused the party of fraud anyway. They wanted everything the party had AND everything they could manipulate into ownership through the party's means.
The party was a very appetizing dinner plate, in short. ^_^
>>3458Soon, I've got alot of 'splainin' to so.