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mlp____dungeons_and_discords____s6e17__by_kikirdcz-dafqt49.jpg
Anonymous
5JWzM
?
No.2959
2965
This thread continues the roleplaying campaign previously continued in https://mlpol.net/vx/res/2421.html

Our players - one of whom is still munching on some random guy's face - nears the once-distant port city, without the faintest idea what to expect.
Anonymous
5JWzM
?
No.2963
Except for Trump, who for some reason thinks that attacking Thez is a good idea (as though he didn't notice she's a Devil).
Anonymous
5JWzM
?
No.2964
Luckily for the both of them, his sword bounces harmlessly off some form of invisible barrier in front of her.
"Sorry, did you want some?" she offers Trump some of Barry's face.
Anonymous
YpN1O
?
No.2965
2966
>>2959
>repeating last post

>Barry
DAMN IT ALLEN
STOP
FUCKING
THE TIME LINE
Anonymous
5JWzM
?
No.2966
2971
>>2965
>Allen?
Wait, what's wrong with killing Barry? If you knew him, you'd want to eat his face too.
Anonymous
5JWzM
?
No.2968
So yeah. Last thread hit bump limit, so here we are. We don't have to start yet, I just had to eat Barry's face. I'll probably do it again before the night is over.
Anonymous
YR6i1
?
No.2970
2972 2974 2975
Space-Marines-Cover.jpg
>Implying Trump ever suspected her to be anything other than a devil
*Trump looks over to Tracy*
Little blue pony, you have lead a life full of wickedness and sin. But today is the day you redeem yourself. Help me slay this demon in our midst
*looks to torcil*
Good man, you too may be of great service to justice and to the universe. Seal this demon, and send her back to the hell from whence she came!
Anonymous
YpN1O
?
No.2971
>>2966
The flash? He probably got here through fucking the time line
Anonymous
YpN1O
?
No.2972
2985
>>2970
>Good man, you too may be of great service to justice and to the universe. Seal this demon, and send her back to the hell from whence she came!
Nah, I'm good
Anonymous
YR6i1
?
No.2973
Spoilered
My character needs a bolter
Mrs. Sentry
2puKl
?
No.2974
>>2970
"Eh, heheh.. If that's what you're going to do, Flashy, then I guess I'll be by your side.."
*draws knife*
*hugs leg*
Mrs. Sentry
2puKl
?
No.2975
>>2970
>*licks leg*
Anonymous
2puKl
?
No.2976
2979
ITT: OP spends an hour trying to re-write his game plan after Trumpadin attacks Thez.
Anonymous
5JWzM
?
No.2977
2979 2980
No, OP tries to compensate for restaurants that can't give accurate times on takeout orders. ~_~
Anonymous
5JWzM
?
No.2978
So then, Trump, are you SURE this is what you want to do? I mean, I can roll with it,....
Anonymous
YR6i1
?
No.2979
2982 2983
>>2977
>>2976
Just make Thez have an excuse that Trump would find convincing for ripping off Barry's face
Anonymous
2puKl
?
No.2980
>>2977
Ah, I know that feel...
Anonymous
5JWzM
?
No.2981
>Thez is most amused at the suggestion of defeating/sealing her by the way. She dispenses with any pretense of Urri.
Anonymous
5JWzM
?
No.2982
2984
>>2979
Well, he's a twat for starters,....
Mrs. Sentry
2puKl
?
No.2983
2986
>>2979
>*leg-humping slowly starts*
Anonymous
YR6i1
?
No.2984
>>2982
"A twat? Explain yourself Demon! I am as dead as you are. I can keep up as long as love of football fills my heart!"
Anonymous
YR6i1
?
No.2985
2986 2987 2988 2989
>>2972
"Can you at least help get this pony off of me?"
Anonymous
YpN1O
?
No.2986
2989
>>2983
NOPE
>>2985
GM Can I use some Thot-b-gone on tracy?


Anonymous
5JWzM
?
No.2987
2991
>>2985
Thez chuckles.
"Better. I though I'd have to thump you just for trying to give me orders! Barry, well he's an insufferable bastard of amazing proportion. He regularly and consistently falls short of his job expectations, knowing that he won't have to pick up the slack nor will be disciplined for it. He is a burden on those around him, is utterly contemptible, and he has bad breath.
5JWzM
?
No.2988
[1d20 = 6]
>>2985
As for the pony, hmmmm. There might be something I could try,....
Mrs. Sentry
2puKl
?
No.2989
2992
606742__semi-dash-grimdark_artist-colon-aryanne_artist-colon-randy_oc_oc only_oc-colon-tracy cage_big eyes_blood_face picture_female_implied violence_i.jpg
>>2985
>[leg-humping intensifies]
>>2986
Fucking try it! I dare you!
5JWzM
?
No.2990
2992 2993
[1d20 = 3]
Thez's tail whips out and grazes Tracy's shoulder drawing a thin line of blood.
Tracy begins to lose coordination and is having trouble standing.
"Oh dear me, you don't look so good. Here, let me help you."
Thez grabs Tracy by the shoulders. I'm assuming Tracy is attempting to resist?
Anonymous
YR6i1
?
No.2991
2994
>>2987
*Trump lowers his shield from protecting his chest section to protecting his legs*
"Folly thinking you could every thump the Trump. Tell me, what job expectations does he fall short of?"
Anonymous
YpN1O
?
No.2992
2995
7bf.jpg
>>2989
Pic related
>>2990
I just stand aside, hoping to not get dragged into this
Mrs. Sentry
2puKl
?
No.2993
2994
>>2990
*grabs leg with all four limbs*
>Glare_so_murderous_that_I_cant_find_the_reaction_image_that_illustrates_it.jpg
5JWzM
?
No.2994
2997
[1d20 = 10]
>>2991
You really want me to explain the finer detail don't you?
>>2993
"Odd, that usually works. Hmmm. Oh, duh!"

Anonymous
YR6i1
?
No.2995
>>2992
"Damn it man, Football is a team sport. It requires work as a team!"
Anonymous
5JWzM
?
No.2996
2999
Thez hits Tracy in the lower back (stunning fist) and she momentarily becomes stunned (meaning, she drops anything she's carrying and lets go of anything she's holding.
"You should be thankful, normally when I poison people, I rape them, but I'm not feeling it right now."
Anonymous
YR6i1
?
No.2997
2998
>>2994
"If ye be of anything other than vile stock, yes"
Anonymous
5JWzM
?
No.2998
3000
>>2997
"Oh, I never said I WAS anything other than vile stock, but you can rest assured that he had it coming."
2puKl
?
No.2999
3001 3002
[1d20 = 1]
>>2996
>*bites*
Anonymous
YR6i1
?
No.3000
3002
>>2998
I guess that's what I need to know
Mrs. Sentry
2puKl
?
No.3001
3003
>>2999
Okay.. I'm done being pathetic....
Anonymous
5JWzM
?
No.3002
3004
>>2999
Tracy chips a tooth. Nice trips tho.
>>3000
"Are we still gonna fight?" she asks excitedly.
Anonymous
5JWzM
?
No.3003
>>3001
Thez helps Tracy to her feet. Then looks back at Trump.
"Are we?" she appears behind him. "Are we?" She appears upside down, in mid air, sitting indian style in front of him. "Are we are we are we??" she beams.
YR6i1
?
No.3004
[1d20 = 13]
>>3002
*Trump casts DEFENSE for Tracy*
"Tell me she demon, are we?"
Anonymous
5JWzM
?
No.3005
3007
"YAY" She assumes a curious stance, her knees bent outward to the sides, her hands by her face in the posture of a peace sign. On her face she adopts a goofy expression and starts drooling bubbles.
Anonymous
5JWzM
?
No.3006
"Take all the time to prepare that you need," she says with the same wide-eyed, goofy expression.
Anonymous
YR6i1
?
No.3007
3008
>>3005
Trump is now confused
Anonymous
5JWzM
?
No.3008
3010
>>3007
Are you kidding? Thez LOVES to fight, but doesn't often fight things that can survive more than one hit. Because of Trump's level and experience, he can. Maybe even two! But he doesn't know any of this.
Anonymous
5JWzM
?
No.3009
*doesn't often get the chance to....
Anonymous
YR6i1
?
No.3010
3011 3012
>>3008
Trump knows he is dead. And that which is dead, may never die
Anonymous
5JWzM
?
No.3011
>>3010
Oh, and if you're confused about her stance,... that's Crab-style.
Mrs. Sentry
2puKl
?
No.3012
3013
08234b76b39ec874dd400643514f9bf1.jpg
*hobbles to feet and pull another knife out of seemingly-infinite knife-cozy, with maw*
>>3010
>*spoons*
Anonymous
5JWzM
?
No.3013
>>3012
>triple-wielding,... I'll allow it
Anonymous
5JWzM
?
No.3014
3015 3017 3018
K, so Trump is buffed with OFFENSE and has his sword and shield ready, while Tracy is now brandishing three knives and has DEFENSE enabled. Thez still has a funny look on her face, is still drooling bubbles, and hasn't moved other than her eyes occasionally shifting back and forth from Trump to Tracy.
Anonymous
YpN1O
?
No.3015
3019
>>3014
>still staying off to side
Anyone got food?
Anonymous
5JWzM
?
No.3016
Some of the guards on the wall have taken notice of the scene, but they seem more entertained that alarmed or concerned.
Mrs. Sentry
2puKl
?
No.3017
3023 3024
collectibles-supernatural-first-blade-cain-s-knife-3_large.jpg
>>3014
not yet
*hobbles to hind legs and pulls out two more autistic movie props out of knife-cozy*
".. A little poison won't stop me. I've shrugged-off more blood-born infections than you could count..!"
Anonymous
YR6i1
?
No.3018
3020 3025
>>3014
Trump readies a HEAL spell, to be used either for himself or for Tracy as necessary

"Blue Pony, do you wish to impress me? Then help me take down this she demon!"

Trump lurches forth not to land an attack, but to see how Thez responds, and to encourage her to make a move
Anonymous
5JWzM
?
No.3019
3024
>>3015
"There's still some of Barry's face,...."
Mrs. Sentry
2puKl
?
No.3020
>>3018
"..Unf..!
*doki doki*
5JWzM
?
No.3021
[1d20 = 16]
With one of her peace signs, Thez grabs Trump's sword by the blade.
Anonymous
5JWzM
?
No.3022
... and holds it firmly.
Anonymous
5JWzM
?
No.3023
>>3017
The poison only lasted for a few minutes by the way, you're back to normal.
Anonymous
YpN1O
?
No.3024
3028
>>3019
Ewww, I meant real food
>>3017
"Like HIV?" Torcuil scoffs
Anonymous
YR6i1
?
No.3025
3031
>>3018
Trump is personally convinced that Thez is actually the one holding him hostage in the game, that he is actually immortal, and that he can defeat her in open combat, but thinks that there is a better place and time to do this

Trump smiles, as if to acknowledge the sexual innuendo of her grabbing his sword. "Very well, please forgive my impropriety. Years in the service have made me a bit suspicious"

"blue pony, I spoke too quickly. You may stand down"
Anonymous
5JWzM
?
No.3026
3027 3030
"Awwww,...." Thez is disappointed. "Well shucks."
Anonymous
YpN1O
?
No.3027
3030
>>3026
I still want some actually food
Mrs. Sentry
2puKl
?
No.3028
Spoilered
>>3024
"If it's a disease, I'm already immune to it, by now."
Anonymous
5JWzM
?
No.3029
She looks at the soldiers standing watch. "What the hell are you staring at??" she shouts, before realizing she's still all purple and nude and such. "Whoopsie!"
she says before putting her mask back on. The guards exchange glances before one steps away from the wall and out of sight.
Anonymous
YR6i1
?
No.3030
3032
>>3026
With this response, Trump is disappointed in his not taking an opportunity for a learning experience, but he continues onwards to the city

>>3027
"Torucil, may we speak in private?"

Mrs. Sentry
2puKl
?
No.3031
>>3025
*puts away knives*
Anonymous
YpN1O
?
No.3032
3034 3037
>>3030
Eh why not?
Anonymous
5JWzM
?
No.3033
"I assume you mean cooked food, so yeah we should probably check this place out," she says before following behind. "I hope there's a brothel,...."
Mrs. Sentry
2puKl
?
No.3034
3035
>>3032
>rape
Anonymous
YpN1O
?
No.3035
3041
>>3034
*unmanly screaming*
Anonymous
5JWzM
?
No.3036
3038
Feel free to talk amongst yourselves as I describe.
As the group approaches the gate, you can see a sign that says "Welcome to Port City! A port city that would have a much better name if Barry wasn't such a douche and causing others to compensate for his lack of discipline and professionalism."
The city its self is several miles long and wide. Trade shops, lodging and services, and a bustling bazaar are all located near the entrance to the City, while residential and governmental is further back.
YR6i1
?
No.3037
3042
>>3032
"I can cover you if you are want for money when we get to a pub..."
*looks to make sure Thez is not listening, then whispers*
"So as you know, we are in some sort of limbo in the afterlife. This one here, Thez, is a real demon. She could only be an agent of those keeping us from reaching the green fields of Mile High. We are already dead, and so we cannot die here. But if we could injure that demon - disable her for long enough - we can escape the trance she has left us in, and from those malevolent entities that seek to keep us enthralled, and to our Valhalla of Sports Authority Field"\r
Anonymous
YR6i1
?
No.3038
>>3036
*Trump begins to wonder if Barry really did have it coming*
Anonymous
5JWzM
?
No.3039
3047
jew_basic.jpg
Situated near the entrance to the city is a booth that says "Information center", and standing at the booth is this guy. Thez wanders over to ask for directions.
Mrs. Sentry
2puKl
?
No.3041
>>3035
>Wearing a kilt for easy access
This is the future you chose.
Torucil
YpN1O
?
No.3042
3047
>>3037
>I thought I was talking to Thez
Can we do names now?
AANNYYWWWAAAYYY
Eh idk
tell you the truth I don't remember much Before(tm)
Possible? Yes
Likely? eh
Anonymous
5JWzM
?
No.3043
3044 3045 3047
The thing about Barry is that he works in another department from me, but its a department that I used to work and am exceptionally skilled at. Barry knows that if he does less than his best, the company will call on me to essentially clean up after him which I did, because though I could have said "no", it would only have hurt our productivity come monday, and I am notorious within the company (literally, they call me a nazi,... the irony) for being unwilling to allow unnecessary down time). Yeah, I got OT for it, but I had planned on scripting this session much more meticulously and carefully, but was unable to.
Anonymous
2puKl
?
No.3044
>>3043
This is what happens when you blog-post in an RPG..
I know that feel though...
Torucil
YpN1O
?
No.3045
>>3043
I'm really fucking confused
Gm - Thez
5JWzM
?
No.3046
3048
Thez addresses the big-nosed fellow. "Excuse me man,... does this down have, like, prostitutes? I'm asking for a friend."
YR6i1
?
No.3047
3049 3050
>>3043
If this explanation had been given, Trump would have immediately put down his sword. But he's a Paladin, so he wasn't going to let a face of a seemingly innocent person be ripped off without comment
>>3042
I am banned from using the namefield by Atlas. No really, I am
>>3042
"Don't you see? We are being held prisoner here in this dimension"
>>3039
Trump feels as if he recognizes the man as an ally
\r
Gm - Thez
5JWzM
?
No.3048
3050
>>3046
"I'm sorry sir, but there is a 5 shekel charge for information," he chuckles and rubs his hands.
"5 shekels for directions? What kinda town is this?"
"I told you, its 5 shekels for information," he continues to rub his hands together.
Gm - Thez
5JWzM
?
No.3049
3055
>>3047
Appreciated, but the way the dialogue was worded Thez wasn't about to comply. She has her pride you know,.... ^_~
>banned
LMAO
Torucil
YpN1O
?
No.3050
3051 3052 3055
>>3048
>Slides in, tripping on rock
I've got 25 shekels for a full Q&A of how ever many questions you want
>>3047
>banned
KEK
EEE
KEK
HOW?
Torucil
YpN1O
?
No.3051
3054
>>3050
*we
not *you
Gm - Thez
5JWzM
?
No.3052
3053 3055
7f5.jpg
>>3050
Yes, yes of course. Anything for you my good goy,... er I mean, honored traveler. What can I help you with?
"He says holding out his hand expectingly."
Torucil
YpN1O
?
No.3053
3056 3058
>>3052
>I signal discreetly to Thez that they are indeed fake shekels
Ask away Thez...
>Hands over 25
Gm - Thez
5JWzM
?
No.3054
3057
>>3051
Thez, in Urri form, leans over to Torcuil and whispers: "Ask him where the hoes at."
Anonymous
YR6i1
?
No.3055
>>3050
>>3049
something something "must post under anonymous or name and capcode NO EXCEPTIONS" was the rule. Something about starting drama
>>3052
"Good sir, could you tell us where we are?"
Anonymous
2puKl
?
No.3056
>>3053
>Giving a kike fake shekels
They can smell money, you dunce! What do you think those noses are for?
Torucil
YpN1O
?
No.3057
>>3054
Excuse me goy, but
BITCH WHERE DA HOES AT
Gm - Thez
5JWzM
?
No.3058
3059
>>3053
Thez wasn't expecting that. "Oh,... here man," and hands the shekels to the fellow. "So yeah, I was like, wondering if there's like, prostitutes in this town. I mean you've got lots of sailors so I figured,...." she trails off as the fellow busies himself inspecting the coin. Its of an unfamiliar type (to him) so he carefully pours over ever detail, completely ignoring Thez.
"Uhm," she says as he starts pulling out a pair of scales and a water glass.
"Yes yes, just a moment."
YpN1O
?
No.3059
3061
KekProphetPepe.png
[1d20 = 18]
>>3058
Oh fuck
I roll to meme the scales
Gm - Thez
5JWzM
?
No.3060
3062
He impatiently points toward the government buildings, not even looking up from his task. Using a couple of weights, he measures the weight of the coins. He narrows his eyes at this, and then marks the glass of water with a spot of grease, and then drops one of the coins into the glass.
Gm - Thez
5JWzM
?
No.3061
3063
>>3059
nice timing and roll
After marking the glass a second time, he then pours the indicated water into yet another glass, with measurements on the side. The whole process complete, he smiles.
"Yes of course, what was it you wanted again?"
Thez meanwhile, immediately starts off for the whores.
Anonymous
YR6i1
?
No.3062
>>3060
"So where exactly are we?"
Torucil
YpN1O
?
No.3063
3065
>>3061
Library and food?
Gm - Thez
5JWzM
?
No.3064
3066 3068
"This city is an open port servicing all manner of mercenary and entrepreneurial operations he means pirate town. People come from all over to sell their stolen,... I mean totally legitimately acquired goods and exchange them with others or for services, which are available aplenty".
Gm - Thez
5JWzM
?
No.3065
3067
>>3063
He chuckles at the mention of a library. "Oy vey no, there is no demand for books here, other than as black market, I mean commodity trading."
Anonymous
YR6i1
?
No.3066
>>3064
"Where could the ships in the port take me?"
Torucil
YpN1O
?
No.3067
>>3065
Food?
Also where is this "Commodity Trading?"
Anonymous
YR6i1
?
No.3068
3071
>>3064
"Tell me... Do you know where I could buy a bolter?"
Gm - Thez
5JWzM
?
No.3069
3070
"For food there are several Inns that provide the finest kosher meals. The Sticky Wicket is our most popular, while the Rusty Duck has the finest service."
Torucil
YpN1O
?
No.3070
3072
>>3069
And Commodity Trading?

Gm - Thez
5JWzM
?
No.3071
3073
>>3068
"Yes, there is a stable just outside the city, on the opposite side of the entrance you came from."
Gm - Thez
5JWzM
?
No.3072
3074 3075
>>3070
He begins to chuckle and rub his hands some more.
"Commodities. Why yes, we have all manner of commoditites, and if you don't, we can acquire them! Is there anything in particular you are in the market for?"
Anonymous
YR6i1
?
No.3073
3076
>>3071
"To be clear, you mean a Gyrojet weapon?"
Anonymous
2puKl
?
No.3074
3076
>>3072
>speaks up
"Do you have cosplay in pony sizes?"
Torucil
YpN1O
?
No.3075
3079
>>3072
Books on,
Memes
Gm - Thez
5JWzM
?
No.3076
3077 3078 3080
Another passerby approaches, looking curiously similar to the fellow at the booth.
"Excuse me, I'm looking for,... fish," he says placing 5 shekels on the counter, which the fellow sweeps up immediately.
"Yes of course! Would you like the usual fish, or are you looking for something more exotic?"
"I'm thinking something more exotic."
"Of course! The price will be 500 shekels, cash up front."
"A pleasure doing business with you," he says depositing a phat bag of coin on the counter which also immediately disappears into the booth-guy's ready hands.
"Your goods will be delivered to your room," he calls after.
>>3073
"Gyrojet? I've never heard of such a thing. Memes? What is a meme? Meme, meme,... such a strange word."
>>3074
His eye twitches at the thought of cosplay. "Ahhhh, a connoisseur I see. What type of costume are you looking for. Will you need any accessories?"
Anonymous
YR6i1
?
No.3077
3079
>>3076
*Trumpaladin begins to suspect he may not have what he wants*
Tell me, do you know where I may acquire a Tavor TAR-21?
Torucil
YpN1O
?
No.3078
3079
>>3076
Okay fine, Where do the pirates sell their stuff?
Gm - Thez
5JWzM
?
No.3079
3082 3083
>>3075
He suddenly brightens, smiles, and looks again at Torcuil. "Oh, my mistake, I DO know of some mimi books you are talking about. I can arrange delivery if you would like. Cash up front of course."
>>3077
"Good goy! I will not tolerate such language! There are children present!"
>>3078
"Wares are available at the bazaar, as well as several of the shops that border it."
Anonymous
2puKl
?
No.3080
3081
>>3076
"I could use a jacket-hoodie, spandex, fishnet-stockings, a garter belt, striped panties, a spiked dog-collar, anything latex, and fireproof boots. Could I find any of these items here?
I could also use a saddlebag."
Gm - Thez
5JWzM
?
No.3081
3088
>>3080
He begins hurriedly writing down the requested items.
"Yes, yes, of course. Will you be wanting a child for this,... expedition?" he winks 'knowingly'.
Torucil
YpN1O
?
No.3082
3084
>>3079
>Thinks
Give me a minute to get my shekels
GM can I do alchemy?
Anonymous
YR6i1
?
No.3083
3086 3087 3090
>>3079
*Trumpaladin is baffled at this point*
"where are weapons sold and what is available?"
Gm - Thez
5JWzM
?
No.3084
3085
>>3082
Uhm,... do you have lab equipment on hand?
Torucil
YpN1O
?
No.3085
>>3084
Uh... no
Shit
Gm - Thez
5JWzM
?
No.3086
3087 3089
>>3083
"Of course of course, there are two businesses that specialize in weapons, the Belligerent Gnome, and Previously Owned."
Torucil
YpN1O
?
No.3087
metallurgy.png
>>3086
>>3083
>buying jew weapons
Anonymous
2puKl
?
No.3088
Spoilered
>>3081
*eyes hesitantly dart towards Trumpadin and back, in a torn, nervous frenzy*
"...I-I.. I-I'll... PASS on that...! *whispers*..For tonight..!"
Anonymous
YR6i1
?
No.3089
3091 3092 3093
>>3086
"Show me the way to the Belligerent Gnome! By the way, do you know where I can buy Thot-repellent and a new set of leather pants?"
Gm - Thez
5JWzM
?
No.3090
3093
>>3083
The Belligerent Gnome stocks the finest in masterwork and magically enhanced weapons and apparel, while Previously Owned specializes in 'previously owned' goods.
Anonymous
2puKl
?
No.3091
>>3089
>*spoons*
Gm - Thez
5JWzM
?
No.3092
3097
>>3089
He provides directions. its near the bazaar.
Torucil
YpN1O
?
No.3093
3095 3097
>>3090
I'll offer you 100 shekels for a meme book, just one. I can pick it up after I eat
Also I'll go to the Gnome
>>3089
>Not using the thot b gone spell

Gm - Thez
5JWzM
?
No.3094
"Sir, as for the items you requested, the price is 50 shekels," he chuckles to himself.
Gm - Thez
5JWzM
?
No.3095
3098 3099
>>3093
"Yes, yes, of course. Simply give me your shekels, and I will arrange to have your goods brought to you."
Gm - Thez
5JWzM
?
No.3096
Oh, and he doesn't know about Thot spray. Sorry.
Anonymous
YR6i1
?
No.3097
>>3093
>>3092
"Alright then! Off to the Gnome"
*Trumpaladin goes to the Gnome, waiting on Torucil intending to go with him*
Torucil
YpN1O
?
No.3098
3100
>>3095
>throws 100 shekels
I want a big book, not some shitty one
>Follows Trump
Mrs. Sentry
2puKl
?
No.3099
3100 3101
>>3095
>paying him up front in a fucking pirate town
Mrs. Sentry
2puKl
?
No.3100
>>3099
meant for >>3098

Torucil
YpN1O
?
No.3101
>>3099
Eh
I can kill him if he doesn't deliver
Or you could if ya want
Gm - Thez
5JWzM
?
No.3102
3103 3104 3110
jew_basic1.jpg
Trump, Torcuil (and Tracy?) head off to the Belligerent Gnome.
Meanwhile, Infernius and Yak Lee are standing in the field, drooling on themselves.
The Belligerent Gnome is an emporium of death and please-don't-kill-me (weapons and armor) of all makes and models. They've got Full Plate, they've got glowing full plate, they've got flaming full plate, they've got (lots of plate,... and weapons too). The guy behind the counter looks familiar, but not identical to the booth guy.
Torucil
YpN1O
?
No.3103
3105
>>3102
You got any staffs?
Anonymous
YR6i1
?
No.3104
3107
>>3102
Good sir! Can you show me your finest weapons? Anything in particular for taking down large or demonic targets? Also do you have something to clean leather with?
Gm - Thez
5JWzM
?
No.3105
3106
>>3103
"Yes, of course! Do you prefer basic staves or magical staves?"
Torucil
YpN1O
?
No.3106
3112
>>3105
Magical
Any with any type of frogs on them?
Gm - Thez
5JWzM
?
No.3107
3108 3109 3111 3114
>>3104
"DEMONIC! Oi you there, bring me on over to that lad over there!"
Shouts a voice from behind the counter. The shopkeep grimaces before holding up his hands apologetically.
"I'm uh, not sure that we have anything of the sort, not for fighting demons I'm sure."
"OH CUT THE CRRRRRAP YA LILLIE LIVERED SON OF A RAT! You there! Customer man (its a scottish accent BTW), what manner of DEMON are ya wanting ta kill?!"
"Sir, there must be something else I can offer you."
Torucil
YpN1O
?
No.3108
>>3107
>Scottish
Finally! A cultured man
Anonymous
YR6i1
?
No.3109
>>3107
"A snake like looking one. Also, do you have slings for assault-ponies?"
Mrs. Sentry
2puKl
?
No.3110
3116
581393__safe_artist-colon-rainbow-dash-dosh_oc_oc only_oc-colon-tracy cage_blushing_solo.png
>>3102
>monotone of implied interest
"Show me your knives."

Torucil
YpN1O
?
No.3111
>>3107
Any staves ye bloody wankstains?
Gm - Thez
5JWzM
?
No.3112
3113 3114 3117
>>3106
"You want a staff,... with frogs on it?" he seems like he's expecting more.
"OUT WITH IT YA AVARICIOUS PILE OF TROLL-FECES!"
The shopkeeper finally relents and says to Trump: "I may just have something in the back, let me have a look."
He gestures to someone behind the counter before disappearing into a room further back. He is replaced by another large-nosed man.
"You said you wanted frog-staves? Yes of course," he wanders over behind some shelves, where you can hear a squeaking sound. He returns with a wooden staff with frogs drawn on it in some form of black ink.
"And you wanted knives yes?" he directs Tracy's attention to a side display-case featuring knives.
Torucil
YpN1O
?
No.3113
>>3112
Eehhhh
Any other staves? just curious
Anonymous
YR6i1
?
No.3114
>>3107
"Do you know of anything for humanoid reptilian succubi? Or for Giants."
>>3112
"Do you have slings for assault ponies?"
Gm - Thez
5JWzM
?
No.3115
3118 3122
The original shopkeep returns holding a large sheathed sword with brass fittings.
"About bloody time I get some recognition and promotion. You've all gone soft under the watchful eye of VANDEREIM!!" shouts the scottish accent, which is actually coming from the sword. The shopkeep places the sword on the counter.
"THIS is an ancient and holy relic, held over from some holy person I couldn't be troubled to remember. It was forged ENTIRELY for the killing of infernals (devils and demons)!
"AYE! An I can drink any of ye under the table, that's for SURE!" the sword boasts.
Mrs. Sentry
2puKl
?
No.3116
3117
>>3110
*Patience begins to waver*
Gm - Thez
5JWzM
?
No.3117
3120
>>3116
"And you wanted knives yes?" he directs Tracy's attention to a side display-case featuring knives.
>>3112
Torucil
YpN1O
?
No.3118
3119 3122
>>3115
>turns to Trump
Buy
the
damn
Scottish
possessed
sword
Gm - Thez
5JWzM
?
No.3119
3121 3122
>>3118
"That's the spirit laddie! Once again shall the wicked fall to my magnificence and humility!"
The shopkeep smiles and says "This sword is one of a kind, and is available for the low price of 10000 shekels (he says, as though that's an insignificant amount).
Mrs. Sentry
2puKl
?
No.3120
3124
>>3117
*lip quivers*
"Wh-what kind do you have here? Show me your top-quality merch!"
Torucil
YpN1O
?
No.3121
3124
>>3119
>10000
holy shit
Anymore staves back there?
Anonymous
YR6i1
?
No.3122
3123 3124
>>3115
>>3118
>>3119
TRUMP BUYS THE DAMNED SCOTTISH POSSESSED SWORD
although 10000 is a lot of money. Trumpaladin died with a lot of money on him... but that's a lot. He may have to kill something for hire or make Tracy steal it for him
Torucil
YpN1O
?
No.3123
>>3122
YEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Gm - Thez
5JWzM
?
No.3124
3125 3128 3129
>>3120
"Top quality eh?"
you guys,....
"We have all kinds of knives. Bane, Defending, Flaming, Frost, Shock, Ghost-touch, Keen, Ki-focus,... can you be more specific?
>>3121
"Yes, can you tell me the intended use? I mean, we have cold staves, and warm staves, and nature staves,...."
>>3122
Tempted though I am to inquire where Trump is carrying 10000 shekels, fuck it.
"Yes! YES! AGAIN SHALL THEY FEEL THE WRATH OF VANDEREIM THE MASTERFUL, MYSTICAL, MESSIANIC, AND MOST MAGNIFICENT BASTARD (sword)!!" And as he proclaims himself (the sword that is), a "Ahhhhhhh" sound can be heard from nowehere, and a random light shines down upon him. On the hilt is a face, and it is looking at you.
"Oi, you're not much to look at are you?" he says to Trump.
Torucil
YpN1O
?
No.3125
3127
>>3124
Magic.
And slapping people who ask too many questions
Gm - Thez
5JWzM
?
No.3126
3129
The shopkeep takes the shekels and runs to the back so fast that you almost think he does Thez's little teleport thingy. His assistant stands in for him.
"Can I offer you goys, er guys something else?"
Gm - Thez
5JWzM
?
No.3127
3130
>>3125
"Hmmmm,... perhaps a staff of Transmutation? That would allow you to perform alchemy,... that is, if you're into that sort of thing,... just an arbitrary guess,... at any time or place without equipment!"
Mrs. Sentry
2puKl
?
No.3128
>>3124
Tracy stares at the collection for a few minutes, looking briefly into her knife-cozy every few seconds.
"... I....." she trails off.
"Can I test one out first? Keeness of edge is very, very important to me."
Anonymous
YR6i1
?
No.3129
3131
>>3124
*Trump can still write valid checks for weapons procurement from the public funds*
*Trump looks down at the holy instrument whereby he shall bring liberation and justice*
>>3126
"I'll need a sling for my assault pony and a sheath for my Vandereim. And tell me, what special armor or hammers do you have?"
Torucil
YpN1O
?
No.3130
>>3127
Interesting, but I want to see one more.

Anonymous
YR6i1
?
No.3131
3132
>>3129
"No amount of money to help our greatest ally is too much," Trump remembers a politician telling him, and it showed in the budget of the Imperial Guard
Gm - Thez
5JWzM
?
No.3132
3133
>>3131
Hearing this, the assistant smiles
"Then I know just the thing," he wanders from the counter, but mentions to Tracy "Yes, just don't bleed on anything. There is a dummy over in the corner (there is)."
Torucil
YpN1O
?
No.3133
3137
>>3132
I whisper to the group after he leaves
Okay Idea, I can ask to see the staff knock out the assistant, and then we can take what we want. thoughts?
Gm - Thez
5JWzM
?
No.3134
3137
He returns a moment later with a javelin quiver.
"I'm sorry sir, but we've never had a request like that (assault-pony sling?), this is the best I can come up with. As for you," he says indicating Torcuil.
"THIS is a staff of POWER. It is not known the manner of types of magic contained within it, and many of its previous owners did not survive to either discover or record its secrets."
The staff is oak in design, well worn but regularly oiled.
Gm - Thez
5JWzM
?
No.3135
3139
"I am not very knowledgeable with its use, but I do know that it can do this. Shirak!" He proclaims, and the top of the staff begins to emit a bright light, brighter than any torch. "Dulak," he says, and the light disappears.
Gm - Thez
5JWzM
?
No.3136
"Unfortunately, this is also a very rare and priceless relic, available only for 7000 shekels," he asks with a scrutinous expression on his face.
Anonymous
YR6i1
?
No.3137
3138 3139 3140
>>3133
"That could attract unwanted attention, and I'm not sure it will be necessary. Either my checks are valid and will pay for our procurement with the credit of the Free World behind it, or they won't know that they are invalid until we are well out of this town"
>>3134
Just a classic sling will do, make it big enough to support the blue pony you see over there. And tell me, do you have any polearm weapons? Preferably long, well-balanced, axe on one side and hammer on the other"
Gm - Thez
5JWzM
?
No.3138
3148
>>3137
"We do have some masterwork halberds, but nothing magical I'm afraid. As for the sling, I can make an order with one of the tradeshops, though it may take a day to fabricate."
Anonymous
YpN1O
?
No.3139
3140
>>3135
I would like to purchase both staves
>>3137
oh duh, you have checks
Gm - Thez
5JWzM
?
No.3140
3142 3148
1392267899452.png
>>3137
"Wot the bloody 'ell di ya need a halberd for boy? You've got VANDEREIM THE (he repeats his litany)!"
>>3139
"BOTH staves! Goodness, the total price for both comes to 11,000 shekels," he can barely contain his excitement.
Mrs. Sentry
2puKl
?
No.3141
3142 3143
1400832__safe_artist-colon-wootmaster_oc_oc only_oc-colon-tracy cage_implied grimdark_knife_sketch_sword_weapon.jpeg
>Has already teleported into the testing area and tested every edge in the deluxe category and separated the good knives from the cheap rip-offs, which she has left in a pile in the corner
"They're.. very good.. I was looking more into the specialized-offensive category, but... *bites lip*
I'll take the collection!" She declares, a bit a-matter-of-fact-ly
Anonymous
YpN1O
?
No.3142
3148
>>3140
Trump my old buddy ole pal ole friend...
>>3141
Noice art
Gm - Thez
5JWzM
?
No.3143
3144
>>3141
The merchant seems to be having trouble standing upright and he grabs a towel from the counter and places it 'in his pocket'. "The whole,... I, excuse me," and he leaves for the back-room. "Be right back!"
Anonymous
YpN1O
?
No.3144
3145
>>3143
I test the element staff on a rock laying around
I try for Iron
YpN1O
?
No.3145
3150
[1d20 = 10]
>>3144
>forgot roll
Gm - Thez
5JWzM
?
No.3147
3148 3149
The original shopkeeper returns from wherever he ran off to, clearly excited and enthusiastic to take your money.
"Good patrons, you have excellent and cultured taste. The grand sum for the objects you wish to procure is 18,000 shekels, though I'm sure that's nothing for gentlemen (and mares) of your calibur. Since the sum is so much, we will accept guarantee checks for a small premium (cost of doing business). Your total comes to 18,781 shekels, " he concludes after a bit of math.
Anonymous
YR6i1
?
No.3148
3151 3152 3155
>>3140
"Can you kill a giant? Or grow a few feet longer?" Trump asks Vandereim
>>3138
*At the suggestion of it taking a whole day for the sling to be made, Trump wonders how long it woyld take for the merchants to process a bounced check, and he wonders of the "Assistance to Zion" Act, which authorizes indefinite use of tax payer funds and the public credit for purchases of military arms from those of a certian race, and especially where it could conceivably advance the ends of the chosen race, still applies in this twilight realm*
>>3142
>>3147
No price is too great for our greatest allies!
Mrs. Sentry
2puKl
?
No.3149
3152
>>3147
*Rummages through seemingly-bottomless knife-cozy*
"You do pawn, correct?"
Gm - Thez
5JWzM
?
No.3150
3151 3153
>>3145
To your moderate surprise, the rock shudders for a moment before assuming a bronze-red color. The transmutation was successful, you have a chunk of pure iron.
Torucil
YpN1O
?
No.3151
3152
>>3146
the pic of a drawing made me thing it was oc art, but I knew you werent the faggot who came up with Tracy
>>3148
My brother, I am indebted to you
But I will not repay you in the "special ways" tracy is
>>3150
>I pick it up, keeping if incase it may be useful
Also COMPLETELY off topic
What are shekels made of?

Gm - Thez
5JWzM
?
No.3152
3154 3156
>>3148
"Ah kin kill anything that needs killin' lad! Yew're lookin' at the sharpest blade in this whole Game (it is, I broke the rules making 'him'). I can't get bigger, but ah can fly! Watch this lad, toss me in the air!" Vandereim encourages Trump.
>>3149
"In rare cases we will accept quality second-hand goods, but we prefer to deal in new merchandise."
>>3151
Shekels = gold
Anonymous
YR6i1
?
No.3153
>>3150
Oh and, do you have magic arrows? Or improved armor?
Anonymous
YR6i1
?
No.3154
3157
>>3152
"Impress me" Trump tosses Vandereim in the air
Gm - Thez
5JWzM
?
No.3155
3159
>>3148
"Oi! Wait lad,... there's somethin', somethin's comin'. Somethin' WICKED. OI, take hand of me and lets get tah KEEELIN' (the wicked, that is)! Its comin' closer! Ah think its comin' this way!" He gets more excited as he continues.
Torucil
YpN1O
?
No.3156
3157 3158 3159
>>3152
Gold? Hmmm.
Hey, you guys pick a place to eat I need to get my book
Gm - Thez
5JWzM
?
No.3157
3159
>>3154
Okay, this happens before the caveat.
Upon throwing Vandereim in the air, the sword spins once and then stops, hanging in the air for a moment. It then slowly glides to the ground, as though virtually weightless. You also notice that it has a square tip, not intended to be used for stabbing.
>>3156
"Good customer, if you will simply render the funds we can conclude the transaction."
Gm - Thez
5JWzM
?
No.3158
3161
>>3156
>Torucil?
Anonymous
YR6i1
?
No.3159
3161 3162
>>3156
>>3155
>>3157
At the suggestion of Vandereim, Trump decides to pay the good man using a check clearly backed by the public credit, and leave the establishment under the pretense of looking for food
>>3156
"Alright, do that as you follow me"

"Tracy, I'll pay for your items, just follow me"

Mrs. Sentry
2puKl
?
No.3160
3168
Abraham's knife.jpg
conan-the-barbarian-serpent-snake-dagger-gold.jpg
Tut's dagger.jpg
"I was hoping to save these to hire Nicolas Cage to appear at our wedding ceremony, but.. *bites lip* I can figure that out later. It's not like they cut well, anyway."
Torcuil
YpN1O
?
No.3161
3162
>>3158
>assuming I can spell
>>3159
Three cheers for not starving to death!
Hip hip
Mrs. Sentry
2puKl
?
No.3162
3167
>>3159
>>3161
*quickly shoves all the knifes into knife-cozy, and blushes at the prospect of her husbanbdo picking up the bill like a chad*
Gm - Thez
5JWzM
?
No.3163
3166 3167
As Vandereim continues to encourage Trump, Thez (still in Urri form) walks through the door.
"Here you guys are! This place SUCKS. The whores here act like they,... wait, whats up guys?"
"THERE! THAT'S THE VILE,... NOW JUST WAIT A SECOND! GILANA?! WHAT THE BLOODY, WHAT THE FECK ARE,... YOU'RE THE DEVIL?!" He seems to think for a moment. "Wait a second,... that means ah kin KILL ya now! OI! (Talking to Trump) hoist me so we can put an end to this foul creature!"
Thez however facepalms and says "You've got to be fucking kidding me."
Gm - Thez
5JWzM
?
No.3164
"TO GLORY MAN!" Vandereim seems to tug in the direction of Thez.
"Um, sir?" says the shopkeeper.
"For fucks sake," says Thez.


Mrs. Sentry
2puKl
?
No.3165
3169
*unsheathes Cain's demon-slaying knife and licks the edge of it, not even paying attention to the situation*
Torcuil
YpN1O
?
No.3166
3169
>>3163
I'm assume no good hoes?
Anonymous
YR6i1
?
No.3167
3169
>>3162
Don't thank me, you can thank the good citizens of (what nation is Trumpaladin from exactly?). It is they, not I, who have paid for this assistance to the great merchant people.
>>3163
Sensing that it is not quite the proper time for this, Trump mentions over to the merchant "Excuse men, can I get the sheath for Vandereim?" takes, the sheath, and tries to sheath Vandereim until the time is right
Gm - Thez
5JWzM
?
No.3168
3170
>>3160
"Very nice by the way, but I'm afraid not quite of the quality we prefer at the Belligerent Gnome. Have you tried Previously Owned?"
Gm - Thez
5JWzM
?
No.3169
3177
>>3167
>Trumpire
"Wait! No! You, aw ye pansy," V laments. "You haven't heard the last of me wench!"
>>3166
"They wouldn't even let me see 'em! They told me I had to pay to walk in the damn door!"
>>3165
I'm not sure which one is Cain's demon-slaying one (though there is a demon-slaying one) is, but sure.
Mrs. Sentry
2puKl
?
No.3170
>>3168
"No, but I might try it out. It's nice to know who last used a tool..." Tracy say nonchalantly, as she gathers up all the knives in the store and places them into her little sack.
Gm - Thez
5JWzM
?
No.3171
3174 3177
The assistant walks up to the shopkeep and whispers in his ear. He whispers back, they start slap-fighting each-other, and the shopkeep turns back to face you.
"With all that, I simply need a guarantee of payment and our transactions are concluded." ^_^
5JWzM
?
No.3172
[4d20 = 18]

Gm - Thez
5JWzM
?
No.3173
Trump notices the shopkeep cast the assistant a sidelong glance.
Torcuil
YpN1O
?
No.3174
3177
>>3171
>leans toward Trump
Can i turn them into silver?
Gm - Thez
5JWzM
?
No.3175
3176 3177
The assistant proclaims. "Due to the immense load of,... business you have brought our fine shop, I have been assured that your lodging and food are gratis at the Sticky Wicket. Their able staff will be waiting to serve you free of charge, whenever you should desire to patronize their establishment."
Torcuil
YpN1O
?
No.3176
>>3175
Okay maybe not
Anonymous
YR6i1
?
No.3177
3178
>>3169
"Don't you worry, your time *will* come," Trump says to Vandereim as he sheaths him
>>3171
Trump tenders a check with special insignia to the merchant. "This is basically a treasury bond. Credit of the highest order. All the banks in the world will fail, and the sun will fail to rise, before the government skips out on an interest payment. But I'm sure your fine people already know that from decades' experience"
>>3174
Thankfully that is unnecessary
>>3175
Huzzah! To the Sticky Wicket!
Gm - Thez
5JWzM
?
No.3178
3180
>>3177
The merchant doesn't recognize the markings of the document, but given that Trump coughed up 10000 shekels (thats enough to buy a Keep BTW) he's not parsing hairs. He smacks his assistant and directs him to direct the party.
>>3177
"Its not ME time that's a comin' lad! That one's not ta be trusted! Say the word, and we can reign not-hell down upon 'er!"
Gm - Thez
5JWzM
?
No.3179
3183 3184
door-man.jpg
So the assistant leads the way to the Sticky Wicket, a 2-story Inn, bar, and grill situated conveniently in a convenient place. Its convenient.
At the door you are greeted by a large-nosed fellow.
"Good afternoon!" says the door-man as you (?) make your way inside.

Anonymous
YR6i1
?
No.3180
3182
>>3178
>Trump whispers to Vandereim - "Oh I know. That's why I bought you"
>>3178
*Trump is disturbed by the possibility the credit was not recognized*
Gm - Thez
5JWzM
?
No.3181
Meanwhile, Yak Lee and Infernius are still drooling on themselves.
Gm - Thez
5JWzM
?
No.3182
>>3180
Its multi-dimensionality, don't read into it.
Torcuil
YpN1O
?
No.3183
3186
>>3179
>I leave the group to go get my book I ordered
Anonymous
YR6i1
?
No.3184
>>3179
Trump is reassured by the appearance of the man, who looks similar to many fine individuals Trumpaladin worked with in his former life
Gm - Thez
5JWzM
?
No.3185
3187 3188
The Sticky Wicket offers an ample buffet of deluxe-priced foods, as well as a bar and grill for more specialty entrees. There's a fireplace, a winding staircase (leading to the rooms) and seating pretty much wherever you could want to sit.
Thez says "Now we're talking," and wanders to the bar.
Another jew (oh lets not kid ourselves) wanders over and asks "Do you have any baggage you need assistance with? Your reservation was called ahead."
Gm - Thez
5JWzM
?
No.3186
3188
>>3183
The book was agreed to be delivered.
Anonymous
YR6i1
?
No.3187
3189
>>3185
"Oh, no thank you. I only have a few items on me"
Torcuil
YpN1O
?
No.3188
3190
>>3186
Oh, i thought I was going to pick it up
>>3185
"No baggage for me
Torcuil runs to the buffet, stuffing a plate
Gm - Thez
5JWzM
?
No.3189
>>3187
"Very well sir. Here is your key (no 33), second hall on the left, upstairs. Would you like something prepared for you, perhaps there's a dish you'd like prepared?"
Gm - Thez
5JWzM
?
No.3190
3192 3194
>>3188
I stand corrected, that WAS the arrangement. You venture off to the booth, but find it unoccupied for the moment, with a "Will Return" sign.
Gm - Thez
5JWzM
?
No.3191
Thez walks back with a frustrated look on her face. "10 shekels for a drink? What kinda operation is this?!" she crosses her arms impatiently. "Ya'll are lucky I'm lawful,...."
Anonymous
YR6i1
?
No.3192
3193 3194 3195
>>3190
Trump takes the key,
"Great! I'll take a Taco bowl as an appetizer, an angus steak - well done - and for desert I'll have a chocolate cream pie with not one, but two scoops of vanilla ice cream"
Gm - Thez
5JWzM
?
No.3193
3194 3196
>>3192
"Ready in 10min sir! DO you take Ketchup?"
Torcuil
YpN1O
?
No.3194
>>3192
>>3193
Kek
>>3190
Eh, I go back and eat

Mrs. Sentry
2puKl
?
No.3195
3203
>>3192
"I'll have what he's having! Make that rare though."
Anonymous
YR6i1
?
No.3196
3200
>>3193
"With every steak"
Gm - Thez
5JWzM
?
No.3197
So basically, the stage is set for everyone to settle in. Torcuil has a pair of staves, one the worn oaken one and the other a weathered-green copper shaft (transmutation). Trump has an ever-talkative bastard (sword) on his back, and Tracy has sooooooo many new knives,.... <3
The food is decent quality, Trump's steak being suitably well-done per his taste, while Tracy's steak is so rare its bluish (the best way to eat a steak FYI). Torcuil fills up on Argentine Joint, potatoes and greens, when the cook appeared from behind the scenes,... sorry, and proffers cakes, pies and pastries. Thez finds herself a vacant spot on one of the couches surrounding the fireplace, and sits in irritated contemplation.
Gm - Thez
5JWzM
?
No.3198
3200
SO not done yet, if that's what ur thinking, unless u have-to go
Gm - Thez
5JWzM
?
No.3199
Except for Lee and Inf, who have collapsed, but are still drooling
Mrs. Sentry
2puKl
?
No.3200
3201 3202 3203
>>3196
>doesn't know wtf it even is
>no sense of taste anyway
"I'll take that too."
>>3198
Past midnight for me. Like usual...
Gm - Thez
5JWzM
?
No.3201
>>3200
I suspected. Shall we wind then?
Torcuil
YpN1O
?
No.3202
3203 3212
>>3200
same and I want sleep, so see yall later
Torcuil finds his way to his room and retires for the night
Anonymous
YR6i1
?
No.3203
3204 3210 3212 3213
>>3195
>>3200
Aren't you like a pony though? Should you be eating steak at all?
>>3202
After the meal, Trumpaladin enters the room pr rooms, and is careful to check all possible entrances and exits, and whether the group is split apart across several rooms

Mrs. Sentry
2puKl
?
No.3204
>>3203
>Questioning what Tracy Cage is eating
Gm - Thez
5JWzM
?
No.3205
Alright! <session-terminating cinematic incoming>
Gm - Thez
5JWzM
?
No.3206
3207 3208
As the evening progresses, the various pirates, er sailors, make their way to their rooms (being on strict schedules of rape and murder). Torcuil retires first, followed by Trump, and then (presumably) Tracy, while Thez contemplates from the fireplace.
Stillness permeates through the building, nothing untoward occurring or registering from inside the party's spacious (you got a good room) accommodations. Everything seems peaceful and calm,... until suddenly one of those big-nosed fellows (though now his face has fur and big whiskers) punches through the floor. The fellow is clearly incapacitated, but also clearly bestial. From below you can hear Thez chastize herself: "I knew it. I FUCKING knew it! Come on then motherfuckers! Let's get MeSsY!!"
Gm - Thez
5JWzM
?
No.3207
3208
>>3206
>punches through the floor
Just his face mind you.
Anonymous
YR6i1
?
No.3208
3211
>>3206
>>3207
Trump has this response: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q0d-fqTVmG4
Gm - Thez
5JWzM
?
No.3209
3213
From inside the room, the presence of several stomping feet can be detected from the lower floor, and an increase in ambient speech suggests that several people have decided to enter the Inn for 'an unknown reason' and are engaged in a heated exchange. Some thumping and shuddering can be felt through the building, and a feeling of uneasiness slowly creeps over the party. Except for Lee and Infernius that is.
2puKl
?
No.3210
Spoilered
[1d20 = 11]
>>3203
>*door creaks ever so softly*
Gm - Thez
5JWzM
?
No.3211
>>3208
ROFLMAO
Nice. We'll leave it at that. ^_^
Gm - Thez
5JWzM
?
No.3212
3214
Afterthoughts:
>>3203
You're surprised that Tracy Cage is eating meat? Also, Vandereim proceeds to proclaim that whatever is going on downstairs is clearly a result of you not killing that wench.
>>3202
>gave money to a Jew
Good luck with that. No spoilers but,....

Anonymous
YR6i1
?
No.3213
3218
>>3209
I see. It's the same as happens in "The Shadow Over Innsmouth" by H.P. Lovecraft. Thankfully, Trumpaladin has prepared for precisely this situation. Since I was kind of expecting it. But not furry jews. That was a total surprise. See >>3203

commence blatant plagiarism the plot of that bookTrumpaladin kicks the rat-jew-whatever back down in its hole and alerts his party (which apparently is in the same room as him), and goes through the door between rooms into the vacant room adjacent, but not before barricading the door to the main room. There, he barricades both doors while looking for a way from the second or third or so floor to ground level. After climbing down to the ground level, Trumpaladin goes through the less well lit and silent alleys to the edge of town, and hides in the river bed under a bridge
Okay, I don't know how much of that my character can do, but that's more or less what I would have him do outside of cinematic mode
Anonymous
7UVo/
?
No.3214
3215 3216 3220
1506098953793.png
>>3212
>>tfw when you wake up just as the game ends
Anonymous
5JWzM
?
No.3215
3217
>>3214
You find yourself in the field you last spoke to the party in. There is a Yak here. You seem to have zoned out for a while. Its night time. In the distance (from the city) you hear a commotion.
Anonymous
5JWzM
?
No.3216
>>3214
I don't mind, you can work your way into the city if you'd like, but I'll avoid it getting to hairy until next time.
Anonymous
7UVo/
?
No.3217
3219
>>3215
As i recover from the weed i smoked i charge towards the commotion.
Anonymous
5JWzM
?
No.3218
>>3213
>tfw I'm plagiarizing HP Lovecraft and I haven't even read him
It happens. As for Trump,... we'll say that he gets to the adjacent room and barricades both doors. We'll work on the rest in due course.
Anonymous
5JWzM
?
No.3219
3223
>>3217
With a mighty cry of "REEEEEEEEEE", Infernius charges toward the town, his mighty sword in hand, wondering WTF happened while he was stoned. As you enter the city, most of the buildings are closed and darkened, but there are a couple buildings still light, one in particular surrounded by individuals with characteristically large noses.
Mrs. Sentry
2puKl
?
No.3220
>>3214
Ouch...
Anonymous
5JWzM
?
No.3221
Cinematics aside, if you guys want to modify the schedule (earlier? later? time-travel?) so to be more accommodating, I'm open to input.
Mrs. Sentry
2puKl
?
No.3222
3224
Spoilered
>rape
7UVo/
?
No.3223
3224
[1d20 = 13]
>>3219
I perception to see if they are jews
Anonymous
5JWzM
?
No.3224
3225
>>3222
Don't get me started. Thez could have had her way with you, but she was still pissed about Barry. Speaking of which, I forgot to kill him again.
>>3223
There's not a small-nose to be seen.
Anonymous
7UVo/
?
No.3225
3226
>>3224
I walk over to them, giant swastika on my chest clearly visible.
Anonymous
5JWzM
?
No.3226
3228
>>3225
As you approach, the trailing one turns and looks at you. "Oy vey!" he exclaims, which alerts another couple, who then turn and "Oy vey!", leading to a cascading domino-effect of "Oy vey!, Oy Vey!, Oy vey!" that travels through the group. There's about 30 that you can see in front of you, as well as more inside the building.
Combat from here on, so probably better to stop

Mrs. Sentry
2puKl
?
No.3227
>Like a fucking bull in a china shop
Anonymous
7UVo/
?
No.3228
3229
1504565509779-4.png
>>3226
Alright
Anonymous
5JWzM
?
No.3229
3230 3232
>>3228
Sorry about that. Don't worry though, as soon as next session starts, its gonna be killing.
Anonymous
7UVo/
?
No.3230
>>3229
Ah no worries, its my fault for sleeping so long.
YR6i1
?
No.3231
3233
[1d20 = 5]
>Denziens of a mysterious town invite an outsider to, among other things, stay at an inn on a second-or-higher floor. That, night, the entire town masses to try and capture and kill the outsider. In fact, pretty much the entire town is amassed there to the degree that the rest of the town is more or less dead. In fact, I'm betting the furry jews will call forth masses of reinforcements from the sea
>Exactly as happen's in Lovecraft's "The Shadow over Innsmouth
>Exactly as I was expecting would happen
Trumpaladin, I'm guessing now barricaded in the second room with Tourcil and maybe Tracy, says "I knew that cashier's unfamiliarity with the insignia was a red flag. Check must have bounced. And hush Vandereim, I don't trust that snake down stairs, but not everything is her fault."

Trump looks out the window and checks for any way to get from the room to the street at ground level. Roll for detection
Anonymous
7UVo/
?
No.3232
3234
>>3229
Next Saturday?
Anonymous
5JWzM
?
No.3233
3235
>>3231
Damn, I had no idea. Its not quite as bad as you describe, but you don't know that yet. As for the rats (were-rats, simplicity FYI),... well Trump doesn't know but Infernius can see no less than 30 of 'em. Also, friendly GM reminder that these were-rats are sentient and will not walk into extended weapons in the same sense that zombies will.
Anonymous
5JWzM
?
No.3234
>>3232
Yep, unless we notice a present quorum through the week.
YR6i1
?
No.3235
3236
[1d20 = 10]
>>3233
In the book, the protagonist is alone, is a college student, and has at most a revolver. He's also outnumbered with the entire town against him *and* 5 times that number coming in from the ocean. So he has to escape by stealth. In this case, Trumpaladin is well armed and has probably two well armed companions with him, but he doesn't want to engage the were-rats. Partly because he thinks they are after him for a bounced check, so they are sort of in the moral right (Remember that his background is not what you would call "red pilled"; he does not mistrust jews or jewishness); partly because he doesn't want to piss off the were-rats too much (they can burn down the inn with him in it); and partly because he is extremely outnumbered, with possibly the entire town against him, and who knows what or who is docking in the harbor. So Trump seeks to exit by stealth, and spook the were-rats with Varmereim's taunts if they break through the door
Anonymous
7UVo/
?
No.3236
3237
>>3235
Yea thats the opposite of my plan
Anonymous
YR6i1
?
No.3237
3238
>>3236
You're not trapped in a small room in a flammable building completely surrounded by were-rats who took your personal information down earlier. Also, your character is an anti-semite
Anonymous
7UVo/
?
No.3238
1506181676057-1.png
>>3237
Infernuis come and find friends, even if he have to kill everyone in town.
Anonymous
5JWzM
?
No.3239
Something to be aware of with regard to combat. While individual scores are the rule, in cases of joined combat/maneuvers, combines scores can apply. For example, let's say Infernius had a 30 strength (he doesn't, just saying). This would make it so he can pretty much minotaur-handle any shmoe with a 10 strength unless he rolled a 1 (str check is score +1d20 vs. opponent). Having said, if 3 10-str shmoes worked together to man-handle him, they would collectively have a score of 30, on par with his. Similar bonuses can apply with regard to flanking and other coordinated efforts. Additionally, if a character is rendered 'helpless' (unconscious, bound, held {magic or physically restrained} or otherwise made unable to resist or defend against an attack, they can be automatically 'coup de grace'd by an opponent as a standard action (avoiding attack roll cuz helpless). So for example, while Trump could have essentially waded into zombies cuz they're idiots and he's in plate, if he waded into were-rats (arbitrary example) he's probably get ripped apart. ^_^
Also, this fight is going to lean a bit more on maps, positioning, range, and combat sequence.
G'night!
Anonymous
YpN1O
?
No.3240
3241 3242 3244
So who is gonna be on tonight?
or am I a faggot with no life?
Anonymous
5JWzM
?
No.3241
3243 3297
>>3240
Both
Anonymous
7UVo/
?
No.3242
>>3240
Infernuis have nothing going on today.
Anonymous
2puKl
?
No.3243
3297
>>3241
This
Anonymous
YR6i1
?
No.3244
3245 3297
>>3240
But I had things I wanted to do...
Mrs. Sentry
2puKl
?
No.3245
until death do us part.png
>>3244
Take care of what you need to do in meatspace, ~Flaaashy. I will make sure your avatar is well guarded and taken care of.
Anonymous
5JWzM
?
No.3246
3247 3293
Stickywicket.png
I'm not set on anything at this point,... but I'd be lying if I said I wouldn't be available. In the meantime,... this is just one of the maps I should have had available,... yesterday.
Blue is windows, maroon is furniture (tables, chairs, stools, and couches), and purple is the secured party area.
Anonymous
7UVo/
?
No.3247
3248 3249
>>3246
Can Infernuis get a map of where he is?
Anonymous
5JWzM
?
No.3248
>>3247
In-prog
Anonymous
5JWzM
?
No.3249
3250 3293
outSW.png
>>3247
Grey = (((them))) but not to scale
Anonymous
7UVo/
?
No.3250
3251
>>3249
Dank map. Also can i multi class into a witcher at some point?
Anonymous
5JWzM
?
No.3251
3254
>>3250
>wants to add an entire vidya brand to the game mechanics
>is already a MLP Minotaur, cleric, with a greatsword, for Adolph Hitler
e_e I'll look into it, but I promise nothing
Anonymous
YR6i1
?
No.3252
3255
>3251
While we're adding video games, can I be a space marine?
Anonymous
5JWzM
?
No.3253
6eOJq.jpg

Anonymous
7UVo/
?
No.3254
3255
>>3251
Theres a class for it in 3.5 and 5th
Anonymous
5JWzM
?
No.3255
3257
>>3254
IK, it used to be called Spelljammer.
>sigh
>>3252
I'll say this; IF certain resources which are/will-be available to the party are successfully utilized, WHICH is reasonably possible, THEN Trump MAY get the opportunity to cross-class as a space marine.
As for 'Witcher', I've never played so I don't even know what kinda properties a witcher has. Curiously, the space marine (getting ur ass to space aside) is the easier to incorporate.
Anonymous
7UVo/
?
No.3257
3258 3260
>>3255
Would a jedi be easier?
Anonymous
5JWzM
?
No.3258
3259 3260
>>3257
So let me clarify: are you asking to already HAVE levels in jedi/W? OR are you asking to be able to GAIN levels in jedi/W?
Anonymous
7UVo/
?
No.3259
>>3258
To gain yes.
Anonymous
/H7nq
?
No.3260
3261 3267 3297
image.png
>>3258
>>3257
>involving Jedis
Anonymous
7UVo/
?
No.3261
3262
1506217145105.png
>>3260
And you are
Anonymous
/H7nq
?
No.3262
3263
image.jpeg
>>3261
Posting from a phone
Anonymous
7UVo/
?
No.3263
3264
1503801595363.jpg
>>3262
Jedi and space marines go hand in hand
Anonymous
AbegB
?
No.3264
3266 3269
the hidden traitor.jpg
>>3263

i think you are thinking of the wrong soldiers, Anon
Anonymous
7UVo/
?
No.3266
1506281127088-0.jpg
>>3264

Anonymous
5JWzM
?
No.3267
3268
>>3260
Well, in D&D jedi powers are called psionics, so its not much of a stretch.
Anonymous
7UVo/
?
No.3268
1492436756171.jpg
>>3267

Anonymous
2puKl
?
No.3269
3270 3271
1345682__questionable_artist-colon-helloiamyourfriend_crossover_fn-dash-2199_horsecock_nudity_penis_ponified_solo_spoilers for another series_star wars.png
>>3264
TR-8R was the best character in that entire movie.
Anonymous
AbegB
?
No.3270
star wars episode 7 the niggest.png
>>3269

indeed
Anonymous
7UVo/
?
No.3271
3272
mlp__darth_pinkie_pie___dark_side_party_by_darthfluttershy-d66gxz6.jpg
635979569879189339-Card-KyloRen3.png
Product_Images-cf8611e66390.jpg
>>3269
i thought the emo sith guy was pretty gud
Anonymous
2puKl
?
No.3272
3273
>>3271
Felt kind of lame to me desu. Seemed like just an edgy, emotional faggot who always got bullied, so he shot-up the school.
Anonymous
7UVo/
?
No.3273
3274 3276
>>3272
yea but i feel that hes got potential for the next 2 movies.
Anonymous
2puKl
?
No.3274
3275 3276
>>3273
I might give it a chance. Would've liked to see a villain with real ambition though, not just an edgy wannabe Darth Vader.
Anonymous
7UVo/
?
No.3275
starlight_glimmer_as_kylo_ren_in_star_wars_7_by_ejlightning007arts-d9jd9qx.png
>>3274
im sure they will flesh out his character some more.
Anonymous
AbegB
?
No.3276
3277 3278
cocksleeve.png
>>3274
>>3273

im not much into SCI FI or Star wars for that matter, but if this franchise is going as badly down the drain as the rest of the post 2000 media, you are in for some terrible shit. Studios these days dont produces quality, they dickride on their name. It was made by people who were not genuine artists, but fans of the product who wanted to film their own bad fanfiction or were hired with current year contracting practices. Either way, people will still pay for it because star wars, but this is also why it is going to shit. The brand name has become an anchor and is dragging the thing to the bottom of the quality sea.
Anonymous
2puKl
?
No.3277
>>3276
A trillion times this.
Anonymous
7UVo/
?
No.3278
1494491067109.jpg
>>3276
we need to gas most of the directors in (((hollywood)))
Anonymous
5JWzM
?
No.3279
3280
File (hide): ED7205F1D1CD125D14C6F1FDABF8B564-75398.mp4 (73.6 KB, Resolution:480x294 Length:00:00:01, rare.mp4) [play once] [loop]
rare.mp4
>mfw this is now a Star Wars thread
Come on, I can't even leave for a couple hours to redpill someone? Sheesh.
Anonymous
7UVo/
?
No.3280
3281
>>3279
sorry gamemeister
Anonymous
5JWzM
?
No.3281
3282 3285
>>3280
"He's just butthurt cuz he hasn't seen any of the new SW yet and can't comment," Thez jibes.
Anonymous
7UVo/
?
No.3282
3283
>>3281
they're very meh,rouge one is worse than the prequels tbh
Anonymous
2puKl
?
No.3283
3284
>>3282
The only real good part was the part before everybody died.
Anonymous
7UVo/
?
No.3284
1240464__suggestive_artist-colon-ambris_applejack_anthro_clothes_colored pupils_crossover_female_jesse mccree_mccreejack_overwatch_solo_solo female.png
>>3283
this
Anonymous
7UVo/
?
No.3285
3286 3290
>>3281
so are we gonna play or no?
Anonymous
5JWzM
?
No.3286
3287 3288
>>3285
ROLE CALL
>lets find out
Mrs. Sentry
2puKl
?
No.3287
>>3286
*steps out of the shadows*
Anonymous
7UVo/
?
No.3288
>>3286
>Redbull
Anonymous
7UVo/
?
No.3289
summoning
Trump
Meme Man
YakLee
Anonymous
YR6i1
?
No.3290
3291 3294
The moment when you are already listening to this on _4ecd6c6b5ab7f7153e45d18328797934.jpg
>>3285
Here!
>Weirdly enough I was summoned by the report queue
Anonymous
7UVo/
?
No.3291
zimmzamm.jpg
>>3290
good good
Anonymous
osFzw
?
No.3292
3297 3298 3317
1506129822880-0.png
The yakman cometh
Anonymous
YR6i1
?
No.3293
3295 3296 3297 3299
1506277561145_LI.jpg
>>3246
>>3249
Okay, so looking at the map layouts, it looks like it might, just might, be possible to go through the second door and into the room closest to the stairwell. Once in that room, exit through the door and onto the main stairwell, then down one floor onto the second floor balcony. Then jump the one floor down to the ground on the opposite side of the building as most of the were rats are located. Inferius will probably inadvertently serve as a distraction to help facilitate this
Anonymous
5JWzM
?
No.3294
>>3290
I'm sure I had nothing to do with it....
Anonymous
7UVo/
?
No.3295
3307
>>3293
i scream *im an anti-semite look at me* and then run off into the woods
Anonymous
5JWzM
?
No.3296
3298
>>3293
I won't say no, but I should point out that the image on the right is a sideprofile and not an overhead (I should have notated). So, your plan could work, except that there are only 2 floors. Other then that though, yes.
Anonymous
YpN1O
?
No.3297
3301 3302 3303
>>3241
>>3243
I would be offended but what the hell, who cares
>>3244
Too bad
>>3260
BUT MY SCI FI STORY
>>3292
Ayyyy
>>3293
Mob status?

Anonymous
YR6i1
?
No.3298
>>3296
Oh I see. In that case, it would be easy enough for all of the characters to escape out of the room they are currently in through the window onto the street only one floor down, probably with the help of curtains or bed-sheets or some sort of rope.

Also, Yak man is here >>3292

Mrs. Sentry
2puKl
?
No.3299
>>3293
>*spoons*
Anonymous
5JWzM
?
No.3300
Well shit, that's everyone.
>cracks knuckles
Anonymous
osFzw
?
No.3301
3305
1506220961524.jpg
>>3297
Anonymous
YR6i1
?
No.3302
3304
>>3297
We can see from the diagram that the mob is located in large measure outside the main entrance to the building, which is on the other side from where the windows would have us exit. I also believe there are some immediately outside of our doors, although it's possible we have a clean shot down to the first level, but we couldn't get out that way without going through the main door were the mob is, and they *could* be in the hallway, so I'd rather go out the window. Thez is in the first floor, and Inferius is coming on the other side of the mob, so I think we'll have enough distractions to make a clean get away out the window
Anonymous
5JWzM
?
No.3303
3304 3307
>>3297
Good question. Other than the face that just punched through the floor, the mob status is not seen except the outside edge by Infernius. The 'main' room door (for the party's "declared" room) starts banging, though Trump (aptly) secured the first AND second room. You can tell it is a 'decent' sized group.
YR6i1
?
No.3304
3305 3306
[1d20 = 19]
>>3302
>>3303
Alright, well I'm going with the "Shadow over Innsmouth" option. Roll to looks for any items that could be of use in exiting from the window to the first floor. Also, look out the window to see if there is danger.
YpN1O
?
No.3305
[1d20 = 19]
>>3304
Damn nice role
I roll to turn try turning a Jew into, ironically enough, gold
just to see if it works
>>3301
Wat
Anonymous
5JWzM
?
No.3306
3309
>>3304
So, you're entering the third room (closest the stairs) and proceeding to the window, yes?
7UVo/
?
No.3307
3308
[1d20 = 16]
>>3303
see
>>3295

Anonymous
5JWzM
?
No.3308
3310
>>3307
I caught that, I'm just making sure what is going to immediately happen when unpaused
Anonymous
YR6i1
?
No.3309
>>3306
No, there is a window on the room he is in. We are exiting through it
Anonymous
7UVo/
?
No.3310
3335
1164220__safe_artist-colon-khuzang_applejack_amputee_appleborg_augmented_crossover_cyborg_gun_handgun_human_humanized_jesse mccree_mccreejack_overwatch.png
>>3308
just making sure you saw
2puKl
?
No.3311
3312 3313
[1d20 = 18]
>tfw you fall asleep during combat
*wakes up; unsheaves knives*
roll for detection
Anonymous
YR6i1
?
No.3312
3313
>>3311
Calm down, we're locked in a room together
Anonymous
5JWzM
?
No.3313
3318 3319
prep.png
>>3312
You might not have wanted to phrase it like that,....
There is no window in any of the rooms currently occupied, the windows are on the sides of the hallway.
>>3311
You detect commotion. Double digits downstairs, double digits upstairs, even more outside.
Anonymous
5JWzM
?
No.3314
3315
Oh, b is bathroom. I forgot to mention
Anonymous
osFzw
?
No.3315
>>3314
Where am i?
2puKl
?
No.3316
[1d20 = 15]
Alone in a field.
Anonymous
5JWzM
?
No.3317
3321
>>3292
Now then, Yak Lee. You, unfortunately, awaken from being passed out in a field. The same field that sits just outside the city where all the commotion is occurring. You (more than anyone) are free to decide what to do. However, its night time and the only thing lit up at the moment is the city, and that's clearly the center of activity, so,....
Anonymous
YpN1O
?
No.3318
3319 3320 3322 3327 3331
>>3313
>phrase it like that
NOPE IM NOT GETTING ON THE RAPE TRAIN
So hows the gold jew going?
YR6i1
?
No.3319
3322
[1d20 = 11]
>>3313
>>3318
I see. We go through the door between rooms to the first room, then exit out of that door into the hallway,and then through the window from the second floor onto the ground level. Before this is done, it may be helpful to
1. make a rope of bed sheets to help get down to the ground
2. pick up a table and use it to battle through rats, break the window, and anchor the bedsheet rope, and
3. have tourcil cast a spell stunning rats in the hallway
Roll for whatever needs rolling
Also, is killing were-rats going to have consequences? Ideally I'd like the party to get out out killing no one
Mrs. Sentry
2puKl
?
No.3320
289079__semi-dash-grimdark_suggestive_nightmare moon_pinkie pie_oc_oc-colon-mandopony_oc-colon-spinach_oc-colon-tracy cage_4chan_bob ross_exploitable m.jpeg
>>3318
>implying we're not already on it
osFzw
?
No.3321
3322 3323
[1d20 = 20]
>>3317
I stealth towards the town.
Anonymous
5JWzM
?
No.3322
3325 3330
>>3318
Gold jew? U mean the booth guy?
>>3319
>no killing
wew! Pic related is what you see on opening the door.
>>3321
And Yak Lee becomes the wind and spirits toward the city.
2puKl
?
No.3323
3326
[1d20 = 18]
>>3321
>perfect roll
*stealth after him*
Anonymous
YR6i1
?
No.3325
3328
>>3322
My character is under the assumption these are reasonably normal town folk who are pissed off that he and his party defrauded them out of lots of money, so it makes sense from his point of view
Anonymous
YR6i1
?
No.3326
3328 3329
>>3323
You're trapped in the room with my character in the inn, not outside towm
Anonymous
YR6i1
?
No.3327
>>3318
If you can turn jews into gold then we can buy a ship at the harbor
Anonymous
5JWzM
?
No.3328
3334
>>3325
Gotcha. Still, there's lots, and some of them draw rapiers.
>>3326
I assume she means follow you, which that is a great die roll for.
Mrs. Sentry
2puKl
?
No.3329
>>3326
I fucked up
Anonymous
YpN1O
?
No.3330
3336
>>3322
No no no
Turning a jew INTO gold

Anonymous
7UVo/
?
No.3331
1498120379236.jpg
>>3318
adolf likes this plan
Anonymous
5JWzM
?
No.3332
3336
hallway.png
Dammit forgot pic
Mrs. Sentry
2puKl
?
No.3333
3335
>rape
Anonymous
YR6i1
?
No.3334
>>3328
Regardless, if they stay and fight, that gives the were-rats time to bring in reinforcements. And this is a town literally based on being a port of call for people whose job it is to kill people for money. They were able to summon ancient weapons of extreme power very easily. It's best not to be bogged down in a confrontation
Anonymous
5JWzM
?
No.3335
3338
And the quads go to,....
>>3333
>>3310
Alright, you scream "I'm an anti-semite!" and then run away, and though you don't know it, almost run into Yak Lee who is sneaking in the opposite direction. Yak Lee watches the were-rats dismiss the minotaur and refocus on the building.
YR6i1
?
No.3336
3337
[1d20 = 6]
>>3332
Alright, proceed to the third room and collect a table or some item, along with a bedsheet
>>3330
If you want to test on a rat, test on that rat closest to the window when we exit into the hallway
Anonymous
5JWzM
?
No.3337
3341
>>3336
K, you have a bedsheet and a table. There is now pounding and attempting on both barricaded doors.
Anonymous
7UVo/
?
No.3338
3339
>>3335
have i noticed they arent following me?
Anonymous
5JWzM
?
No.3339
3340
>>3338
Yes. No offense, but you just showed up (from their perspective, you've been outside the whole time; they don't know you're even associated with the party) as far as the town is concerned. Also, they don't call them 'semites' or 'anti semites' here, so from their perspective you just yelled "Purple Monkey Dishwasher!" and then ran off with a big sword.
7UVo/
?
No.3340
[1d20 = 16]
>>3339
ok i charge them then
YR6i1
?
No.3341
3342 3343 3346
[1d20 = 9]
>>3337
Well, we should now be in the third room, the room closest to the window

Charging out the doorway, towards the window, and beating the nearest rats with the table trying to get to the window. Tourcil and Tracy should follow
Anonymous
5JWzM
?
No.3342
3344
outSW.png
>>3341
Returning to the fray. Also Yak at bottom
Anonymous
YpN1O
?
No.3343
3345
>>3341
Okay, I rolled a 19 for my gold thing
Can I just turn a couple of rats into gold then
osFzw
?
No.3344
3346
[1d20 = 6]
>>3342
I sneak through the bazaar. Is that a door by the kichen?
YR6i1
?
No.3345
3350
[1d20 = 16]
>>3343
Break the window with the table, and tie the bed-sheet to the table. I'm guessing Tourcil should go first since he's the least apt in Melee against the rats right there in the hallway that are not gold
Anonymous
5JWzM
?
No.3346
3347 3348 3349
>>3341
>using the table and not the ridiculous bastard he just spent a mint on
The rat nearest the window is easily able to avoid such an unwieldy weapon as a frikkin table. e_O
>>3344
And here I thought I could get away with not detailing the kitchen. Yes, there is a door in the back of the kitchen.
osFzw
?
No.3347
3353
[1d20 = 11]
>>3346
I run (quietly?) To the kitchen door.
YR6i1
?
No.3348
[1d20 = 2]
>>3346
>using Vandereim on the rats
But that kills people

Use the table on the window beat him with the shield
YR6i1
?
No.3349
3352
[1d20 = 7]
>>3346
Also he should be Gold right now
Anonymous
YpN1O
?
No.3350
3353 3354
>>3345
>wasting my 19
Whatever, I slide down the bed-sheet, prepairing my staff for combat
Mrs. Sentry
2puKl
?
No.3351
3353 3354
*triple wielding*
"I'll stab them! Should I stab them?!"
Anonymous
YpN1O
?
No.3352
3354
>>3349
Wait, whose gold?
I am confused on whats going on
Anonymous
5JWzM
?
No.3353
3355 3357 3358
hallway.png
>>3347
K, done. You're on the south end of the kitchen corner
>>3350
Wat 19? Oh wait, I found it. Okay, pic.
>>3351
You would(will) stab them, but Torc just turned 3 of 'em into gold.
Anonymous
YR6i1
?
No.3354
>>3350
>The rats near the window are supposed to be gold
In any event, Trumpaladin puts his weapons on his belt, puts his shield on his back, grabs his pony, and jumps down on the bed sheet
>>3351
*grabs pony and jumps out the window*
>>3352
Which ever rats you cast the spell on. There are about three rats super close to the window that would be in the way in an attempted break through
Mrs. Sentry
2puKl
?
No.3355
3359
>>3353
*stabs anyway*
Anonymous
5JWzM
?
No.3356
Tracy is still sneaky, but the ones on the right are moving closer. Also Torc is in brown can't... do... plaid but he's in the hallway too (in order to transmute).
YR6i1
?
No.3357
3359
[1d20 = 20]
>>3353
Push the one in front of Trump to the ground, break the window, tie down the bedsheet to the table, and get out the window
Anonymous
osFzw
?
No.3358
3360
>>3353
I walk in the kitchen.
Anonymous
5JWzM
?
No.3359
3361 3363
>>3355
Tracy stabs Torcuil. Kidding.
>>3357
Push, completely successful. You want him to go out the window? Cuz you rolled a 20. Fuck it. He goes out the window, and the window is broken open (its not something you could open anyhow).
Anonymous
5JWzM
?
No.3360
3364
>>3358
There's a fellow saying "Bork Bork Bork", and various sounds of cooking, but the commotion hasn't made its way here yet.
Anonymous
YpN1O
?
No.3361
3365 3371
>>3359
>chandelier
QUICK
Whats under the chandelier?

5JWzM
?
No.3362
3366
[1d20 = 1]
So! Infernius is rushing back at the mob. They wouldn't expect the minotaur to come back (they don't know why he came and left) so he gets an attack of opportunity,... with a greatsword,... against an unsuspecting foe.
YR6i1
?
No.3363
3368 3372
[1d20 = 18]
>>3359
Alright, now the bedsheets are tied to the table, and the party leaves out the window in the order Tourcil, Trump, Tracy
Anonymous
osFzw
?
No.3364
3368 3369
>>3360
*like, hey guys how do i get to lobby* i ask to the chefs.
Anonymous
YR6i1
?
No.3365
3370
>>3361
Look at >>3246. It's the table in the front lobby
7UVo/
?
No.3366
3367 3368 3382
[1d20 = 14]
>>3362
so is that 1 bad? or good?
i slash the rat closest to me.
Mrs. Sentry
2puKl
?
No.3367
3373
>>3366
bad
Anonymous
5JWzM
?
No.3368
3373
hallway.png
>>3364
"Hurrgen furrgen?"
>>3363
I'll accept it, except that the rats have closed in and I'm assuming Trump would get in their way before the others (since Tracy is still being sneaky)
>>3366
So bad, that I'm willing to let it be a "In a charging rage you tripped and went barrelling into them, causing several including yourself to end up prone and disoriented. No one got harmed, but wtf?
Anonymous
5JWzM
?
No.3369
3375
>>3364
The doors from the kitchen to the main area are marked, and unobstructed
Anonymous
YpN1O
?
No.3370
3372 3373 3374 3377 3378
56c.jpg
>>3365
Eh, nvm
I switch to the wooden staff, and say
"I call upon the powers of Mike "Deus Volt" Pence"
Before trying to cast lightning
I also mumble something about hoping this will work
Anonymous
5JWzM
?
No.3371
>>3361
Sorry. Yes, there is a table. No one is standing beneath it, but if you want to cut it free I'd be happy to put Barry there.
Mrs. Sentry
2puKl
?
No.3372
3376
>>3363
*Follows*
"Where are we supposed to be going?!"
>>3370
That only works on faggots.
YR6i1
?
No.3373
[1d20 = 18]
>>3370
>>3368
Okay, now, Grab pony >>3367 and head out the window, I guess after Tourcil casts his spell

5JWzM
?
No.3374
[1d20 = 17]
>>3370
>didn't have to roll but wtf ^_~
Anonymous
osFzw
?
No.3375
3382
>>3369
I walk into the lobby ready to fight.
Anonymous
YR6i1
?
No.3376
3380
>>3372
To the Ground level away from the main group of rats. From there, we can either
1. head out of town and into the forests and grasslands, or
2. go to the harbor and acquire a ship

I'm certain Thez will collect the others and bring them to us
Anonymous
5JWzM
?
No.3377
3378
>>3370
With gestures, his worn oaken staff, and a "please motherfucker", Torcuil unleashes,...

A wave of electricity. It is something like a lightning bolt, but also like a ball. Its not something he has ever seen before. Oh, and it travels down the hallway you came from, and while you can't see ALL the rats that were there, the ones you can see fall over. I'm sure they're just sleeping.
Anonymous
YR6i1
?
No.3378
3379
>>3377
They are cured of their homosexuality. >>3370 Now come out the window
Anonymous
YpN1O
?
No.3379
3381
>>3378
Planning on it
*jumps*
Mrs. Sentry
2puKl
?
No.3380
>>3376
Unfs
"How do we know that she'll show up?"
YR6i1
?
No.3381
3382
[1d20 = 5]
>>3379
Alright we should all be on the ground now outside of the inn, and away from the main concentration of rats. We may now consider calling out for the other members, although that would alert the rats to our presence. We must also decide on whether we want to go to edge of town or deeper into it to the harbor. Also I want my sling, and we could raid shops if we have enough time before leaving.

Rolling for whether rats are on the street and within line of site, though none in the main concentration out side the entrance to the inn should see us
Anonymous
5JWzM
?
No.3382
3384
1fsw.png
outSW.png
>>3375
#1
>>3366
#2
>>3381
>unseen
True, they weren't expecting a fight, they were expecting a shoah.

Anonymous
5JWzM
?
No.3383
3385
I put Torcuil down 1st cuz I figured Trump would hold the rear (no pun) and Tracy would wait for him.
Anonymous
YpN1O
?
No.3384
3385 3386
>>3382
I run around to the mob
I notice the fighting and come up this a plan
"Oy Vey, YOU GOYS WANT SHEKELS?"
Anonymous
YR6i1
?
No.3385
>>3384
>runs *into* the mob
Just...
>>3383
Yes, trump should come down now
5JWzM
?
No.3386
3389 3390
[20d20 = 173]
So Infernius (unless he wants to die) springs to his feet as a few standing rats approach, weapons ready.
"You are not what we want, LEAVE this place!" he says hissing and spitting.
>>3384 dice
Tracy? Yak?


Anonymous
5JWzM
?
No.3387
3388
At the mention of shekels, all but 3 of the rats Infernius are facing are distracted.
Anonymous
YpN1O
?
No.3388
3394
>>3387
I shout
"Well you can have six gorillian"
And I cast a burst of supersonic shekels from my staff
Mrs. Sentry
2puKl
?
No.3389
>>3386
Barely awake, but lurking.
7UVo/
?
No.3390
[1d20 = 14]
>>3386
i get up and attak
5JWzM
?
No.3391
3392 3393 3396
[1d20 = 3]
So for simplicity's sake, I'm gonna say that all but the 3 that Infernius already knocked over were distracted at the mention of shekels. Infernius gets to his feet as they do. Trump and Tracy (unless stated otherwise) are behind Torcuil, and Torcuil is casting a "burst of supersonic shekels" (IDFK what THAT means, but I can work sommin')
Yak Lee sees from his position that the lounge area has seen better days, that there are rats who have seen better days, and Thez is giving them what-for (with her tongue at the moment, don't be lewd).
5JWzM
?
No.3392
3395
[2d12 = 14]
>>3391
Infernius lands a solid hit that
Anonymous
YpN1O
?
No.3393
>>3391
Imagine a bunch of shekels just appearing infront of torcuil, and then shooting off at the jews
Anonymous
YR6i1
?
No.3394
3404
>>3388
"Alright everyone, time to go, and we must decide to where"
Anonymous
5JWzM
?
No.3395
3399
>>3392
... causes his rat to diminish in its resolve to attack, tho he's still kicking.
Meanwhile, the supersonic shekels (again wut?) manifest as a field of gold that suspends its self in the air in an arc in front of the rats. Though largely useless against militant targets, the fact that there's untold shekels just floating in the air is too much for the distracted rats to resist, and they begin wandering toward the wall.
Anonymous
osFzw
?
No.3396
3397 3398 3404
>>3391
I run out the main doors and round house kick the rat on the right of redbull
osFzw
?
No.3397
[1d20 = 3]
>>3396
>>3396

Mrs. Sentry
2puKl
?
No.3398
3400
>>3396
Ouch...
7UVo/
?
No.3399
3404
[1d20 = 10]
>>3395
i run him through with my zweihander
Mrs. Sentry
2puKl
?
No.3400
3401
>>3398
meant for>>3397

Anonymous
osFzw
?
No.3401
1506183980397.png
>>3400

Mrs. Sentry
2puKl
?
No.3402
3403
Fuck. I really should go to bed...
Anonymous
YpN1O
?
No.3403
3406 3408
So what are my shekels doing?
>>3402
Night loser, I may hit the hay soon too
5JWzM
?
No.3404
3407
outSW.png
1fsw.png
[2d20 = 24]
>>3394
That's pretty much where I was at
>>3396
That's your plan?
>>3399
He's discouraged, but his friends get to attack too
5JWzM
?
No.3405
3409
[2d6 = 7]
Both rats strike Infernius, though minimally and nothing to concern himself over.
Anonymous
5JWzM
?
No.3406
3413
>>3403
Spinning lazily in midair, and distracting the (((rats))). They're technically not yours but,....
Anonymous
osFzw
?
No.3407
3410
1504565509779-1.png
>>3404
yes senpai.
Mrs. Sentry
2puKl
?
No.3408
3411 3412
>>3403
>loser
I have real-life responsibilities reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
sorry though...
7UVo/
?
No.3409
[1d20 = 12]
>>3405
i slash one across the (((nose)))
5JWzM
?
No.3410
[2d20 = 23]
>>3407
K, just checking. Upon darting toward the door, two rats attempt to block your progress. Since you declared a preparation roundhouse the f out of whoever,...

5JWzM
?
No.3411
3414
[4d12 = 34]
>>3408
Yak Lee busts a Tatsumaki Senpu Kyaku on the two that tried to block his path.
Anonymous
5JWzM
?
No.3412
>>3408
We'll be here. Thank you. Take care, and see you next time. ^_^
Anonymous
YpN1O
?
No.3413
3415 3416
>>3406
Can I crash Nirbaru into the rats?
Anonymous
7UVo/
?
No.3414
716px-Iron_Will_glare_S02E19.png
>>3411
oh shit
Anonymous
5JWzM
?
No.3415
3417
>>3413
o_o
Anonymous
osFzw
?
No.3416
3417
1506144661668-3.jpg
>>3413
What, that would kill us too. M8
Anonymous
YpN1O
?
No.3417
3418
>>3415
>>3416
Crash the rats into Nirbaru?

Anonymous
5JWzM
?
No.3418
>>3417
>_< No, you cannot command planets.
Anonymous
5JWzM
?
No.3419
3420
>OR uber-force the rats into a planet
YpN1O
?
No.3420
3421 3422
[1d20 = 5]
>>3419
Fine,
But since my supersonic shekals dont do shit
I roll to turn some of the mob into bronze
Anonymous
7UVo/
?
No.3421
3423
>>3420
shit meme!
Anonymous
5JWzM
?
No.3422
3423 3424
As Yak Lee finishes laying out (but not killing) the two who got shown he rocked (nice BTW), Thez appears from the other end of that wall-partition and sees Lee standing over two foes.
"Not bad. We'll have to spar one of these days," she says before darting toward the door (the main 'mass').
>>3420
>Fine, I WON'T try and control space and time,....
The staff goes "Pfffft".
Pffft
Anonymous
YpN1O
?
No.3423
>>3421
That... that wasnt a meme
>>3422
>idea
I sexually Identify as an attack helicopter?
Anonymous
osFzw
?
No.3424
3426
>>3422
BRAAAAAAAAAAAP
Anonymous
5JWzM
?
No.3425
3427
K. Is Infernius attacking the one who is wounded, or one of the other two? He landed btw.
Anonymous
5JWzM
?
No.3426
>>3424
You just gave me an idea,... and one that fits entirely with the storyline. One moment (don't worry, u just bypassed the boss fight).
7UVo/
?
No.3427
3428
[1d20 = 1]
>>3425
i slash one of the other 2 across his rat nose
Anonymous
7UVo/
?
No.3428
>>3427
oh nose
Anonymous
5JWzM
?
No.3429
3430 3431 3434 3435
1bc.jpg
Alright! Fight is over! You don't know why, but let me tell you.
I'll start with Lee. After Thez commented to him and dashed off, he looked to the mass of rats still in the entryway, whom Thez just disappeared in the midst of.
At the same time, Infernius slashes away at the rats in front of him, gashing several (but he needs to learn to finish one off before moving to the next) but slaying none.
At the same time Trump struggles to come up with a plan. None of his surroundings are particularly strategic or useful, but that won't matter in a sec.
Tracy,... well I'll leave any lewdness out of it (its implied tho) is "by Trump's side".
Torcuil begins to question his gender identity, to a degree he may regret at some point (muhuhahahahaha).

As this is all happening,... a portal opens in the air over the entryway. Its the same sort of portal that Yak Lee popped out of, and is horizontally positioned over the entryway (so the "forward" position is "down"). This portal shimmers in the air above the general assembly of (((them))) before a sole and unmistakable sound can be heard.
"BBBBBBBBRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPP" (a burp, not a fart)
As this sound issues forth, so too do gouts of liquid (lit napalm) spew forth from the portal.
What happens next is a mix of horror and splendor depending on one's disposition. On the one hand, you have a multitude of over-sized rats literally dissolving and/or burning from chemical and flame-induced burns, on the other hand you have a bunch of (((them))) getting what they deserve for trying to kike the party (you don't know, but I do). Ultimately, only a VERY small handful are able to escape the beautiful and terrible display, and those are mostly incapacitated (all are unwilling to fight now).

After a few moments of peace/calm (the whole party was stunned by this, even Thez), a 2' tall, golden/black-haired brownie (think Spike, except humanoid) flops through the portal. He places his hands in his pockets, looks around, (recognizing Lee and Thez) and says, "What the fuck is wrong with you. I've been watching the whole thing, and you've been acting like bitches. You DO know they were about to go Giga-Jew on you right?
>giga jew
Anonymous
osFzw
?
No.3430
3436
>>3429
Hey man like its you, whats up. I could have taken the gigajew man.
Anonymous
YR6i1
?
No.3431
3432
tumblr_oqf4vocZHo1u4g684o1_1280.png
>>3429
Trumpaladin wanted to run away from the rats and go steal a ship in the harbor, but nooooooo. Everyone just had to stop to fight the rats for an hour, giving them time to form a giga jew. We could have set sail for Tahiti by now, but no
>>3429
>Trump struggles to come up with a plan
Trump leaves to the harbor
Anonymous
7UVo/
?
No.3432
3433
>>3431
trump we take weapons and armor?
Anonymous
YR6i1
?
No.3433
>>3432
Quickly, very quickly. Some extra shekels or gold or what have you since we'll probably have to purchase a crew. Now hurry, and let's go
7UVo/
?
No.3434
3436 3437
[1d20 = 9]
>>3429
perception to find plate armor
osFzw
?
No.3435
3436
[1d20 = 12]
>>3429
Perception for a bowstaff.
Anonymous
5JWzM
?
No.3436
3439
>>3435
Fail, rats don't use quarterstaves (bo staves).
>>3434
Fail, plate armor hinders their agility and dexterity. Rats prefer (and wear) hides and leather (maybe a smidge of chain, but as support-accents)
>>3430
"Hah! Maybe you and everyone here in tandem, but being that you'd be its first target, I wouldn't bet on it. If I were to guess, you'd probably have gotten mangled while it chased after the others. How far THEY got would depend on THAT one (pointing at Thez) and that in its SELF is a risky venture,...."
"Hey, you shut up."
"And even then, the best that could've been hoped is an ignoble retreat."
Anonymous
YR6i1
?
No.3437
>>3434
Failed >>3436. Let's go to the harbor. No time to waste

Anonymous
5JWzM
?
No.3438
3441
The Brownie (Lenos) breathes out a sigh, his hands still in his pockets.
"Man, we gotta buff you guys." he cringes.
Anonymous
7UVo/
?
No.3439
3440
61c.jpg
>>3436
infernuis need to go. need sleep.
Anonymous
5JWzM
?
No.3440
>>3439
NP, its cinematic dialogue from here on
Anonymous
osFzw
?
No.3441
>>3438
Shit yea we do. *Do they have a carpet?*
Anonymous
5JWzM
?
No.3442
3443 3445
Now WITHOUT revealing anything to the characters,... this scene was inevitable. (((They))) were gonna come after you from the moment Trump dropped a 10k sack of shekels on the counter and THEN credited another 18k. They were gonna rape, murder, jack, and loot you for everything you had, and then identity theft, fraud, and otherwise kike everything they could from your rotten corpses. That's what they have done, and thats what they would have done. You don't know this, but YOU do.
Anonymous
osFzw
?
No.3443
>>3442
Im pretty sure the big guy knew it.
Anonymous
5JWzM
?
No.3444
... with Trump's script (even though its literally invalid in this world) they would have stolen fortunes, simply cuz there's no check-scanning, micr-reading tech to validate.
Tl:dr the party has weak opsec (including Thez). Luckily, these were (((rats))), as there are far more savvy creatures, factions, and entities who may have more to gain from molesting the party?
Anonymous
YR6i1
?
No.3445
3447
Rainbow_Dash_licking_the_cotton_candy_S2E01.png
>>3442
I thought Trump handed over zero in shekels and paid 18k in credit that was later revealed to be worthless, giving the rats good reason to come after Trump
Anonymous
5JWzM
?
No.3446
We're past bump-limit, so until nu-bread, this is a dialogue thread WRT GAME ONLY XP
Anonymous
5JWzM
?
No.3447
3449
>>3445
Yes, but. (wibbledy-wobbledy flashback blur with harp sounds)
Initially, Torcuil decided to proffer fake shekels. Through meme he made them appear real, but that only lasted until the shekels went to the next (((rat))), who easily and quickly determined they were fake.
Here's the fun part (again, char's don't know this) it didn't matter. Whether or not the coin was 100% authentic, (((they))) would still have found a reason to decide you weren't entitled to your belongings and have come after you. Even before you distinguished a degree of means (again, 10k is a keep, just for reference) they had their eye on you because Torc dropped 25pcs without blushing. I have to stop here cuz there IS a bit of undetermined theme here, but basically: (((they))) have been watching since you arrived, your entire interactions, and you (the party) distinguished yourselves as being "most probably worth the effort". Previously, they have had no difficulty of those worth the effort, simply because random algorythms have no ingenuity, and can't think beyond attack, slash, and steal (you have to understand the NPC mindset for this to make sense). So, when the 'subject' fought back coordinatively, they were caught unawares. Also, Yak reminded me that Lenos was watching this with his feet back on the console, and he does like to brownie-burp (trademark, no spoilers)
Anonymous
5JWzM
?
No.3448
3453
Remember the guy who said exotic fish? That was the moment Gm decided that (((they))) were coming after you. ^_~
Anonymous
osFzw
?
No.3449
3450
>>3447
Lennos you should burn down the whole town so they can't do this again.
Anonymous
5JWzM
?
No.3450
3451
>>3449
He probably will in time, Lenos is a char OC I've been given license to.
Anonymous
osFzw
?
No.3451
>>3450
Oh cool, i gotta go gm sorry to bail. Ill check in tomorrow and see what else happens.
Anonymous
5JWzM
?
No.3452
Now then, the elephant in the room. (u DID notice right?)
Since inception, the party has participated in the destruction of:
137 zombies
4 fire giants
1 7-head hydra
and now
~50 were-rats
>time for swag
Anonymous
YR6i1
?
No.3453
3454
>>3448
But that was like within two minutes of encountering them
Anonymous
5JWzM
?
No.3454
3455
>This is all not to mention that the town had become slowly and incrementally over-taken by (((them))) to the dismay of the existing population which lacked the ability to prevent (((them))).
>>3453
And? Are you expecting them to wait for you to brandish a unicorn horn?
Anonymous
YR6i1
?
No.3455
3456
>>3454
But why did they wait until they gave us awesome weapons. And why not poison the food
Anonymous
5JWzM
?
No.3456
>>3455
Glad you asked.
Vandereim can only be used by a Paladin, and they haven't seen those (ever) so they thought the sword wouldn't work (not that it did e_e). The staves and knives were assumed to be 're-acquired' upon the party's death, so they didn't think they were 'arming' anyone, since they would just take back what had been sold.
What they were doing (again, non-character spoilers) was encouraging the party to stay, to participate, and to feel (ish) temporarily comfortable. They THOUGHT that doing so would ruin party morale, making them easy targets. Its been over a century since the last player (of this "group") who gave a damn. Again, this is storyline spoilers that chars don't know.
Anonymous
5JWzM
?
No.3457
3458
Even if the initial coin hadn't been fraud, they'd have accused the party of fraud anyway. They wanted everything the party had AND everything they could manipulate into ownership through the party's means.
The party was a very appetizing dinner plate, in short. ^_^
Anonymous
7UVo/
?
No.3458
3459
>>3457
Nu bread when?
Anonymous
5JWzM
?
No.3459
>>3458
Soon, I've got alot of 'splainin' to so.
Anonymous
5JWzM
?
No.3465
Oh yeah
>this https://mlpol.net/vx/res/3460.html