/mlpol/ - My Little Politics

>>248102 →
Fuck it
Hit send too early and turned the PC off before noticing, but fuck it, story time.
This should probably get its own thread since discussion of this will probably derail this faggy nyx thread, but fuck it and fuck nyx, story time.
Once upon a time, I was bored and my PC was broken. My half-finished story chapters were inaccessible, just like my planning documents for them. I have my phone, but I can't write anything for my ongoing stories and I don't want to start yet another thing I'll have to continue and eventually complete.
So I make a shit new story for fun to beat my writer's block, uploading it to Fimfiction under a new name.
HIE but slightly better than usual.
Only slightly.
This guy called Dave or something is a DJ named Databass. Some criminals shoot up his nightclub so he tries to take the shooters out, tackles one, gets shot, and dies. His sacrifice helps his fans escape with their lives.
Wakes up in Equestria, befriends the mane six, and there are some scenes where he's NOT a huge cucked pushover who lets everyone walk over him.
That's it, this story is officially everything HIE fanpigs hate. I call people like this fanpigs because they have no tastebuds and no taste. They will eat anything put into their trough, unless it's the wrong colour or consistency compared to the slop they usually eat. Then they'll whine and throw out stock complaints that could apply to anything.
They want another "HIE blank-slate faggy human suicides like a bitch or gets hit by a truck then goes to equestria and bones all my favourite ponies" story. Maybe with a side of "Also it's not his fault sex happens, the ponies want to rape him because he's soooo sexy! it's their fault he fucks ponies and desires them so much, not his!" if they're feeling daring today.
They don't want to see "Brave famous musician attacks armed gunmen to try and save his fans, dies, and is rewarded by god."
and then...
>so now what?
>I don't know. I didn't plan this far.
uh...

He absorbs the power of the Alicorn Amulet to instantly become magically powerful. Then some baddies show up and he has to fight them or something, I didn't plan the story or finish it.
Some ultra-butthurt faggots in the comment section start shitting it up, calling my story trash
don't care, their rage is what i'm here for
I call them faggots back
To my surprise, users come out and defend me
It's their other bullying victims
Faggots get super butthurt because they've never had multiple people stand up to us before
We're like 3 or 4 people and we're winning the shit-slinging contest
all we have to do is call them faggots and correct them whenever they throw out a lie
and they get increasingly mad as their usual child-intimidation tactics fail
no crowd around to be duped into believing the lie-narratives they spin about posts posted like 5 posts ago
just some angry impotent niggers mad because nobody's joining in or giving in
comedy gold
I think one guy got banned for posting something I didn't see before it was removed
but i archive.is'd everything else and put it on some pastebin
Eventually they report me and beg for an admin's help
Badmin shows up to say "No more posts! Everyone shut up and fuck off and pretend this never happened! Victims, this is your fault for being so bullyable!"
faggy wannabe-bullies post laughter and say "Haha ok bye. man this was fun"
I call admin a massive faggot because rule-breaking bullies are right there and he's blaming us for what they did? is he too gay to believe in personal responsibility or something?
I'm not actually mad but holy shit, he is.
badmin gets enraged because I question him
and grr, how dare a peasant writer question an admin!
someone who dedicates months of their life to writing stories for a community of fans on the internet and giving them these stories for free, no patreon early-access or hidden-side-story bullshit to be seen? That someone's just inherently inferior to someone who spends his free time selectively enforcing rules while trying and failing to settle childish disputes on a childish website made because Fanfiction.Net has limits on what you can put in your porn.
I get bored after a while and submit a clopfic to fimfiction.net
where Databass accidentally uses magic to grow his cock to enormous size and will literally die unless Twilight gives him a blowjob
so she does and he floods the room
or something
anyway this triggers the entire fucking site
I put massive penis in this story because massive penis with excessive cum is such a popular fetish on this site, a "Story" with that fetish got into the Featured Box.
seeing that trash get so beloved gave me this inspiration
(Is it a story if it's literally just a sex scene starring a popular canon mare ploughed OC with ten paragraphs of exposition telling you who this shallow male self-insert is supposed to be in-universe? Because that's the kind of shit you see featured when you turn Adult Content on)
now i'm not into big penises shooting out rivers of cum to flood rooms, stunned mares sitting on couches floating in the new white sea
I'm really very boring. Vanilla as fuck, me. I like big titties and slime girls, that's all.
anyway this triggers the entire fucking site
I get over 200 downvotes
it gets posted in numerous "Bad fanfictions" group for vote-brigading
cringe culture creams their jeans and shits their pants in fury at the same time because I'm clearly not bothered
I just correct the lies when they are posted and this plus webarchive'd posts for evidence triggers rage
it gets posted in the faggy discord and everyone cries in the comments about what an assault on their delicate sensibilities this was
I'm having a great time laughing at all these butthurt faggots
some fags say because I told the childish child-bullies from earlier to fuck off, that means I'm actually a sinner

>>248107
(2/2)

because didn't you know? a writer who says anything bad to or about his critics sinned!
even if they're not critiquing the work and are just telling you and the friends you made to go commit die
all these "critics" and trash writers band together to "teach a lesson" to me, this "uppity writer" who dared speak out of turn and slight someone of a higher class than him!
because yeah, someone who wastes months of a life they could spend on anything else, including writing fan content for other and livelier fandoms, but instead chose to write fan content for this fandom in particular...
is definitely inherently inferior to someone who spends between one second and three minutes writing out "Nice!" or "I liked it!" or "Dugg down cause it sucks!" or "This gave my eyes cancer, I want the fifteen minutes it took me to read these 2000 words back!".
don't get me wrong i've seen good critics on this site but I've never seen good critics on that site
not even when I triggered all the site's critics at once
and then
and fucking then
this wild ride gets even funnier
because one faggot pornographer gets so butthurt
he decides to write a "Better" version of my story
a "Better" version of a clopfic I wrote because I was bored
I'm not even into massive cocks, I'm into slimegirls and big titties, that's it
I'm really very boring
but this fecker
decides to write a clopfic of his own starring my character and Twilight
where Databass is sleeping
the narration calls him a faggot, I think (barely remember the minor details, it happened a while ago)
yeah, the ordinary human and famous musician who tackled an armed gunman to save fans at his concert, call him a faggot instead of any of the far faggier HIE protagonists out there. Not like there are stories where a faggot suicides, goes to Equestria, and is given the ability to magically force mares to fall in love with him. Not like there are shittier stories out there with far higher scores. Except there are because HIE is for faggots who think Isekai is the best anime gets, show them anything not written to tickle their fetish for faggy humans getting unearned rewards while ploughing brainwashed cumdolls and they riot.
anyway, Databass is sleeping
in Twilight's house
Twilight comes into his room to check on him
notices his bulge
takes his pants off
and sucks him off in his sleep
molesting him without consent
I don't think he wakes up, it's been a while since all of this happened
and the story ends there
>this gets over 200 upvotes
yeah
you heard me
this gets over 250 upvotes and is put into the Youtube Trending Tab of Fanfiction websites, Fimfiction's Featured Box.
like 280 people within the first week of the story being up thought this story was a massive improvement over my shitpost
and I can't stop laughing for two reasons
one
THIS is what the butthurt brigade considers "Quality writing"?
People are posting links to it in my story's comment section, calling this poorly-written by-the-numbers shlock a massive improvement over my half-assed shitpost
someone's calling bad art by an egotistical faggot who unironically tried his hardest a "massive improvement" over my deep-fried shitpost of a pony porn fanfic.
jesus christ lmao
and two

>>248108
(3/2 finale)

the whole site getting butthurt about my story and celebrating this story's "greatness" unironically and putting it on the front page even with a link to its "Inspiration" in the description
not the comments but the fanfic description
probably a rules violation to encourage vote brigading like that on Reddit 2 but who cares
even though this story is literally just his no-self-control faggoted version of Twilight "I wonder why nopony invites me to slumber parties twice" Sparkle going into Databass's room, looking at his dick, sucking it, and leaving
my story's in six different fanfiction groups labelled openly as trashbins and his story's in numerous "Good Fanfics" group, for all the nothing that means. Angry triggered vote-brigading is happening to this story and my one and
even with everything going "right" for this story
even with all these grown-ass men trying to prop it up as an example of how to write big dick shallow fetish massive rivers of cum fictional children's horse show protagonist porn "Properly"
this story gets 200-290ish upvotes because the site's users are not as numerous as they'd like you to think they are
and certainly not as good at critiquing art as they want you to think they are
for all their self-importance, these videogames journalists who couldn't even get hired...
they truly matter so little, and they don't even realize it.
I've uploaded shitpost videos to youtube that got more views than this "Darling of fanfiction.net" got upvotes.
I practically brought this whole website to a standstill
my username is on everyone's lips, cursed in countless different ways
everyone is raging, the whole site is screaming
and to cause this much of a stink, all I had to do was upload two bad fanfics, insult 5-6 childish bullies, inspire courage in their victims, and laugh as the whole website tries their hardest to beat us all down and re-establish their illusion of dominance
we all get banned eventually but I archived everything and put it on some pastebin set to never expire
so anyone who looks up the unfunny jojo reference post gets to see page after page of butthurt faggots trying their hardest to beat a dick lover down, even though I'm not one
I'm still friends with the friends I made there and we keep in touch on other, better sites
and on a funny side note
the friends I made during this wild 1-2 weeks of fun are real friends who stuck around for years
but the people on MLPforums who made such a big deal about wanting to be every sadsack's friend in the Life Advice forum and look so fucking virtuous moved on to the next photo op in under a week each
I never told anyone this story before, but there's no point keeping it all hidden any longer
was never any point in me hiding this to begin with, I've uploaded shitposts before. Not like I have any reason to care about my image. You don't need a good image to achieve dreams that don't make one necessary.

Fair enough.

>>248127
>>248128
>>248130
What in the actual fuck. YOU wrote that story? That caused the biggest bunch of crybaby circlejerk niggers in bitchfiction to have the single greatest collective screaming outrage for over a month straight! Sometimes of the inner circle mentions that event to milk what few cows even remain on /that/ shitty site. This is absolutely hysterical. All of my salutes.. except for big teats, too much work to maintain. Slimeponies are in the toppest tier though.

>>248130
>even with all these grown-ass men trying to prop it up as an example of how to write big dick shallow fetish massive rivers of cum fictional children's horse show protagonist porn "Properly"
Kek. Good story.
I have never actually had to deal with the mangement there because I never actually wrote anything there. It is intresting what pride can make you do.

>>248182
Thank you! I found the archived butthurt posts, https://pastebin.com/u/TotallyNotDataBass the jojo's references and "You could have stopped this" shit was part of the character.
Nothing pisses off faggots like a guy using the Internet Big Boy Voice against them while being entirely fucking right
>>248238
I think that line's the best part out of my recap.
All these people got so absurdly butthurt, about shitpost stories with titles like "The Cock of Ages".
They take this shit, and themselves, so seriously. They think FIM fanfiction is "High art", but can it really be high art if the prevailing advice given to newbies is "Don't make obvious grammar errors your grandma wouldn't make, don't say Lavender Unicorn when you could just use Twilight's name and alternate between Twilight Said and Rainbow Said for the whole story, and write whatever's popular to gain popularity"? Can it really be high art if the most popular shit is what came first and got popular, and what got in Youtube's Trending Tab this week and this month, rather than anything with truly objectively-good quality?
That corner of the fandom is a circlejerk in the truest sense of the word. It exists to suck off "Famous" authors and tell them their farts smell lovely and their trashy crowd-pleasing porn and pseudo-porn is worth sixty patreon-dollars a month or more for early-access and jarring trashy cameos. Everyone's so… I don't know the word for it. Convinced that popularity is the only indicator of quality, serving the collective is the only moral good, and speaking what the collective doesn't like is the ultimate moral evil, with writing fanfics the collective and smaller collectives don't like as the penultimate evil.
Where are the Video Essays on the great fanfics? Where are the long blogposts that dissect and deconstruct and analyze the great fanfics, while drawing more attention to them?
The fucking Jojo's Bizarre Adventure fandom has more appreciation for what's actually good art and what's not than this. Compare a video essay on why Okuyasu Nijimura is so great to some "omg it has my favorit pony!!! so good! i cried so hard every time!" shallow review by a big name with big name privilege.
Such a popularity-obsessed swamp of entitled schoolchildren... It reminds me of what I hear the furry fandom is like.
I can call Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance high art. I can call Senator Armstrong an excellently-written villain and go into a massive speech on how utterly fucking superb a villain he is.
Why?
Because for all his determination to free the world of Patriot and XOF and Cipher and Whatever The Fuck control, he is ultimately still a victim of them and a product of a world dominated by them. Just like those TV shows and commercials from MGS4. The "Military-style exercise regimen" is the world's idea of a good exercise regimen, an interview with a celebrity is the interviewer's opportunity to preach and push her own ideals, and using war as a business to end war as a business so he can focus on ruling a wild and "Free" America. The strong getting their way and doing what they believe to be just through violence is his idea of freedom. His idea of freedom is ultimately warped, his idea of a free world is one where you're free to murder your annoying neighbour, road rage is legally allowed to end in fatalities, and a murderous military cyborg is allowed to cut a bloody path through America to hunt down and destroy the members of a "Perfectly-legal" war-perpetuating child brain-harvesting and child soldier-producing evil organization.
Raiden can beat Armstrong in a fight, but he can't deny the positive aspects of Armstrong's "Be free to be strong and violent" ideology. It was through embracing his love of the battlefield and his darkness and using it for good that he was able to become strong and protect the weak.
The story doesn't pretend Raiden won an anti-violence debate by being violent. It doesn't pretend a friendship laser or big gun or electric sword being used as a tool of justice makes its carrier the ultimate debate-ending moral authority. The story embraces the contradiction there and admits it, and it's all the stronger for it. And in a sense, even though Armstrong and his mech and his nanomachines and his dreams are dead, part of his memes live on through Raiden. He won't become Armstrong 2 or try to carry on his "Dream", he doesn't try to rule in Armstrong's place. He embraces his own calling, his own idea of justice, to protect the weak through violence, because that's the best freedom this fucked-up world can hope for. He rides off into the sunset, free to be himself and stop those like Armstrong from imposing their will or twisted worldviews on others.
If some FEQfag tried to write a speech on why Littlepip is the best protagonist ever, what would you hear? "Oh she's so great, she's so strong and stealthy and gunny with her great stats!", as if that's writing quality. "She's in such a dark world, and she never gives up and never surrenders uwu, that makes her an excellent protagonist!" as if there aren't darker stories with more realistic and far better-written determined protagonists. "She saves the world by being light in a dark world", like that's never been done better. "she never compromises on her ideals even when this means she has to compromise on her ideals to do so…" Don't get me started on her Nonlethal Medic GF giving away the group's healing items to literal bandits a week after shooting the only group of raiders she'll ever consider to not count. "And the addiction sideplot was well written because it was there! addiction is a thing that exists." Don't make me laugh.
Same with the Nyx story, it's bad Naruto fanfiction with MLP characters shoehorned in so it'd appeal to this fandom, and not the fandom that's more sick of this shit than the MLP fandom will ever be sick of "Human me lives out my fantasies in Equestria".

>>248270
To clarify an earlier point:
The fandom treats pony like it's serious business, but only when it's convenient. Only when acting like pony is something sacred, artistic, and vital to our culture lets them act like colossal faggots.
They don't consider art serious business when they preach anti-art "Popularity is the only measure of quality, write to get popular and make popular pigfeed" trash.
They don't consider pony serious business when someone suggests collaborating on a big art/game/animation project.
They want to "Haha lol imagine caring" away anything the people they loathe bring up, while caring way too fucking much about pony porn.
They excuse the half-assed bullshit of their show while demanding absolute perfection and pure pandering from their fanfic writers.
They expect more from usually-underage amateurs than they do from paid professionals.
Dissatisfy them with your offerings, and they are fagots.
Criticize their show, and they are fagots.
They are just faggoted fagots.

>>248295
This pot doth protesteth blackness too much

>>248297
I was a pretty dumb kid. So convinced that if he spent hours trying to make his stupid pony fanfic good, it'd result in an excellent story.
Sometimes I think that makes me the biggest fool of all.
Faggots tried to make faggy stories to impress the faggy collective and gain "Clout"/"Social Credit" points in their retarded abusive circlejerk of a community. I wanted to write something better, and I don't know if I ever will. I want to be better than this, but I don't know if I am.

>>248389
I'm confused. Were you trying to put in the effort to write a good story, or were you trying to write a shitty trollfic to make the faggots at fimfic lose their shit?

>>248393
I was trying to put in the effort to make my Silver Star story good.
The Databass shit? That was a shit trollfic that made all the faggots at fimfic lose their shit.

>Be Anon
>Therapist, man, and with a total of five clients.
>It pays extremely well mostly due to the hazard pay.
>only two of them are scheduled.

>Client 3
>"Then he just dies! Can you believe the nerve of- of that jerk!"
>The office is really quite comfy and would be a real shame if it was marred by her glowing, and sparkling horn.
>I do want it to last more than a week, my previous best.
"I completely understand. Yanking your chain, your honest feelings, hurts..."
>"I'm just so mad, but I get why he did that."
>I pour another cup of tea for us both.
>"It's just- I want to-"
>Murmuring quietly.
>"I wanted to wring his neck."
>Normally speak a bit calmer now.
>"I needed to get that off of my chest."
"Of course that's why I'm here, and as your friend."
>She very much insisted on that matter.
>Positive reinforcement is in order. I break out some cookies and milk.
>Sugar what an addictive drug to use. Still better than having her try to commit a murder no matter how futile.

>Client 2
>"Have th- you been enjoying the prospects of th- your lucid dreams?"
"Your doing great! I have indeed the book is a tremendous help."
>My imaginary waifu isn't so imaginary any more.
"Any thing you want to talk about this time?"
>"My niece has been pushing me to find a suitor."
>The amount of acid in that one word could melt solid steel beams better than an airplane.
"Is that what you want?"
>"I..."
>"I don't know."
>A companionable silence is what is needed.
>"What do you think?"
"Hmmm... well I do know waiting too long isn't great, and going too soon when you aren't ready sometimes is just as much of a problem."
>"W- I know that. I am asking if you think a suitor would suit me."
>Danger danager!
>Humor might be for the best.
"Well I do hear human males are pretty great."
>Grinning, and waggling my eye brows.
>Maybe one of the other Anons might get lucky.
>That sure is a red blush. Is that a gleam in her eye?
>"Didn't know you swung that way."
"Wha-?"
>Two can play that this. I wasn't a master baiter for nothing.
"Oh no I don't just from a life time of experience."
>"Mhmmm. Lots of expertise too am I right?"
"Well I do have to master my own man meat. For the ladies you see."
>"Ah a professional."
"It's why I'm paid the big bits. It's part of why your sister hired me."

>Real glad I pushed for hazard pay.

>>248586
>"You're doing great! I have indeed the book is a tremendous help."
Typo

>>248586
So I'm assuming you are a OccultFacade since I didn't understand anything I just read.

>>248270
So I looked through the comments section for the lord of dongs 3.0 fic that he wrote, https://www.fimfiction.net/story/353735/the-lord-of-the-dongs-raise-your-boners-high-in-another-fapping-song-30 . A certain dialogue I found funny was between a user and blackmax or whatever his name was. So it starts of with this user Sorren.
>This is a meta fic--an in-joke. It's a circlejerk making fun of Databass.
>I thought that was against the rules?
Niggamax defends himself.
They talk and Max says this.
>By that logic, then every story about Trump at the moment is a meta-fic. Or every story about Halloween on Halloween. A meta-fic is a described in the site rules as "any story about the site or its users", which, as you can clearly see, this story is not.
And then the mod from your comment section shows up to clear up all the confusion.
>Bandwagon != meta. Meta stories are those specifically mentioning users/stories by name and/or clear references. The only thing in this story remotely meta, and not worth acting on, is the title and timing of its publishing.

It is so dumb. Like why do they even have these rules if they are not going to follow them? This couldn't be more of a meta fic. I mean is that all it takes, just don't mention who your obvious buttmonkey is and then it's given a pass?

>>248586
This one is fun. Can we see the other patents?

>>248737
You are absolutely correct here's a cookie, and a (You).

>>248749
On it's way.

>>248586
>Be Therapist Anon

>Client 1
>"And then my love absorbed their evil."
>Her radiant face covered with tears, and with her magic using one of the many emergency handkerchiefs.
>"Do you still think he's alive?"
"Most definitely in mind, body, and soul."
>Dark magic users tend to be really hard to kill.
>So I sat there awkwardly trying to be a reasonable, and reliable pillar for this old mare.

"I don't know if any humans got sent through there too, but starting a channel of communication would help for planning."
>"Hmmm."
>"Oh, you gave me a most wonderful idea."
"I did?"
>She just left.
>I'm sure it'll be fine.

>Client 5
>"My wife is becoming more obsessed with finding everyone a love partner. You've gotta help me."
"Ah, how obsessed?"
>"Every waking moment she thinks outloud about the specific ships."
"Every moment? Even during..."
>"When she screams it's about a match she thinks she found."
"That's not healthy..."

"You can say anything you want here dude. This place is secure, and detection proof. No one, and nopony will know."
>"It's driving me mad Anon. I want my loving wife back."

>I need to send a few letters, and see if anyone has an idea of what is going on.

>Client 4
>"Cherry Root and String Cheese? No. Cherry Root and Soiled Bark?"
>Her eyes are desperate.
"Have you had contact with something called poison joke?"
>Thank goodness that Anon bunking with Zecora knows his stuff.
>And the dozens of letters back.
"It's an entirely blue plant that looks something like this."
"Your husband is getting the cure if it is that."
>A sparkle of hope dashed in her eye.
>"Anonymous Real Name Here and Anonymous ..."

>He took her to the royal baths I'm sure for some fun time afterward. Especially with a daughter hounding them in their castle.
>Some of those pairings she thought of...
>Fucking scary. I hope this works, because being forever alone is better than some of those combinations.

>Client 6?
"Discord?"
>"Is something wrong?"
>Ice cream smeared on the walls. Bananas doing a reenactment of historical ways with live casualties. Can't get lost in the interesting chaos in here.
"Didn't expect to see you here of all places."
>I'm going to have to hire a restoration crew for this.
>He grins knowingly.
"Ah right, What would you like to talk about?"
>He summons a green filly, and strokes her like a cat. Menacingly?
>"What the fuck faggot shoulda gave me a warning you dickhead. Not like I enjoy the ear scratches or anything."
>Well this got alot more awkward, and Discord is enjoying every moment.
>That Anonfilly doesn't have a care in the world.
>"Ooo, what to cover first."

>>248738
I know, right? Leftyfaggots can't even create convincing excuses for why they don't follow their own authoritarian rules any more.
Lefty authoritarianism isn't a thing because they're idiots who believe authority makes right, it's there because they're evil little shits who think THEIR authority makes right.
Leftism is an army of weaponized narcissistic tribalist anti-humanists with anti-truth and anti-justice as their weapons.
They are all easily-triggered tumblrshits who overreact at the slightest hint that their precious artificial "Order" with them on top is being threatened/disrupted.
Were previous generations of lefties better at hiding their true faces or something? Because it looks like the jewish bullshit was always as easy to see through then as it is now. There was a time when musicians like Johnny Rebel could make anti-nigger songs without getting arrested, he was probably able to get them on the radio. I don't know why Boomers and """Le Greatest Generation""" fell under Jewish control so easily and gave up all their civilization's rights for nothing.

I wrote a song about wanting to fuck slime girls, please rate/review.

---

Could be red, could be blue,
I could put my pink in you
Any inch of your goo, could take all six of mine

Give me more, my wet whore
Feel us dripping on the floor
I could split you in half, and you wouldn't mind!

[bridge]
Their bodies are soft, but I'm sure as fuck not
I would shoot anyone who calls you snot
The way you drip, the way you squirt!
I could fill you up and I swear it wouldn't hurt

[chorus]
I feel your slime shiver, it feels sublime and
Your soft wet body's got me hard as diamond
I feel your slime shiver and it feels so right!
Your body coats my own as I'm spitting white
You know what we're doing on the bed tonight!

[verse 2]
Could be yellow, could be lime,
Any colour of slime
A mythical monster that looks like a dream

You've soaked through your clothes,
now you're eating through my jeans
I'm ready to find out if liquid can scream!

[bridge]
Wetter than water, and so much thiccer
You make me say, I want to dick her!
My sweat feeds you, I'm ready to please you
And thanks to you I'm ready to release goo!

[chorus]
I feel your slime shiver, it feels sublime and
Your soft wet body's got me hard as diamond
I feel your slime shiver and it feels so right!
Your body coats my own as I'm spitting white
You know what we're doing on the bed tonight!

I feel your slime shiver, it feels sublime and
Your soft wet body's got me hard as diamond
I feel your slime shiver and it feels so right!
Your body coats my own as I'm spitting white
You know what we're doing on the bed tonight!

>>248103
Once upon a time there was a man who lived on a treehouse.
People picked on him for being so old and living on a treehouse, so one day he got tired of it all and nailed planks to every door and every window, preventing anyone for seeing him.
He knew they knew he was there and he knew they thought he was weird, but he was happy to at least have some peace.
Eventually he grew hungry, and so, knowing he would not need his arms anymore since he was there, where he would always be, he ate them.
Later, when hungry and knowing he would not leave, he ate his legs too.
But then, he got hungry again and by realizing how hungry he could get, he would rather go outside and so he screamt for help, for the people outside to save him.
The people outside have long been gone, since he closed the doors and windows they lost interest.
but he could not see outside, so he assumed that they hated him so much, like they always did, that they did not want to save him.
The end.

OP's pic makes me feel warm inside

>>252889
I think it is the blush that makes her look so good.

Since this thread actually has a description that fits what I'm about to post, I'm reviving it.

With his legs spread wide apart and his arm resting partly backrest, a green man in a black suit sat on a chair in a dark room only lit up by a swining lamp above him.

”Mister Anonymous,” asked a blue mare that came into the light of the lamp. She had black hat with a sun emblem on the front.

”That's me,” the green man said as he jerked his arms back adn forth from him like he was sawing with them in the air while showcasing a cocky grin. ”Is it time for my probing?”

”Nnnnnnn...” The blue mare bit her lipwhile her eyes glacned upwards before she looked back at him again with a questioning experssion. ”Nnn-No.” She shook her head. ”Your going to explain why you were caught peeking at the princess. Are you a spy?”

Anon opened his mouth and then closed it. He gave her a really?-look and then a smile crossed his lips. ”And what if I refuse?” He looked at her cutiemark, which was a speech bubble with an exclaimation point, a question mark, an at sign, a pound sign, and a asterisk. ”Will you start to sing?”

She opened her mouth but before she managed to retort a dark blue stallion appeared in the light. Infront of him, a doughnut was held by the same teal magic that swirled around his horn and over one of his eyes two bandaids with fuzzy teddy bears with large red bow ties around their necks, formed a line as if he had been cut across his eye.

”You will talk or else,” the stallion said and then snapped off a piece from his doughnut with his teeth.

Anon rolled his eyes.

”Implying?” he asked.

”You won't get any dougnuts. It's time for a break.”

Light shone in from from a nearby door as it was opened and a trolley with a tray wtih doughnuts and four mugs that left a steam trail was pushed in by a pink mare with a bright smile. She rolled it in between them.

”Dig in everypony,” she said and then blush while pulling a hoot to her mouth.”Oh, I'm sorry mister human. I should have said everybody. I don't want to make you feel left out.” She gave him a bow.

”Eeeehhhhh... Heh heh... Wha-wha?” Anon was speechless.

The new mare brought out a tray from the lower shelf of the trolley, placed a mug and plate with a blueberry doughnut on, and the gave anon it who grabbed hold of it.

”There you go,” the new mare said and gave anon a warm smile.

As Anon reached for the doughnut on his plate, teal light shone around it and it flew out of his reach.

”He cannot have it yet, he most first tell us what he was doing on the castle lawn unauthorized,” the unicorn stallion said.

Anon raised an eyebrow at him while he smiled and shook his head.

”You're too hard on him!” whined the pink mare. ”At least give him a half of it. It's afterall a coffeebreak, or chocobreak if you will, and he should have something to chew on.”

The unicorn put a hoof to his chin before he nodded, broke off half the doughnut, and put it back on Anon's plate.

Anon shrugged and took a bite of the doughnut, which made the unicorn's teeth reveal itself as he grinned.

”Heh. I wasn't actually merciful though,” he said and Anon looked up at him while he chew. ”I gave you one half to awaken the sweet tooth within you, soon you will be overcome with the desire for another bit. Half a doughnut does not satisfy for long and when the craving starts, the only way for you to get the other half is by telling us everything.” A malicious glint appeared in his eye.

The pink mare gasped as the other mare looked to the side in shame.

”I didn't know that was your plan. That's horrible,” the pink mare said. ”Then the poor guy will be aching for the other half. Please, give it to him. This is too cruel!”

”And what would you have me do then?”yelled the stallion back. ”This is the only way to make him give us the information. I don't like it anymore than you do but we have a job that we must do.”

”Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... Wait,” Anon said as he let his fingers slip into the hair on his neck. ”Is this the good cop, bad cop routine?”

The pink mare flinched as she looked at Anon with wide, sorrrowful eyes.

”I'm sorry,” she siad and hung her head. ”But we have learnt that we get better ressult if there is a sympathetic and a tough interrogator doing the interrogation because the pony will turn to the sympathetic voice in the room.”

”Well, it's a bit shady but since it's national sec-”

”But I took this job because I thought that was too harsh, ” she said and hiccuped.” To make somepony think that they have gained a new friend *hiccups* but then it turns out they haven't. *hiccups* I wanted to actually become their new friend but *hiccups* I still end up hurting you.” Trailsof tears glistened on her cheeks.

Anon reach out a hand to towards her to calm her.

”Well, you don't need to be upset. I'm not hu-” he said.

”I feel so disgusting with myself.” She turned arnd ran out the door. ”Farewell, mister human.”

Anon eyebrows formeda flat line across his eyes and his jaw fell slack.

”Aaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!” came out of his stationary mouth.

The blue stallion stared at the door as it closed itself.

>>264592

”I expected this. I knew she was too soft from the very begining. This is not a job that just anypony can do,” he mumbled.

”What are you talking about?!”

”You may not believe me. You probably think I'm some sadistic ponymonster but I-” He brought a hoof to his chest. ”-do not take any pleasure from this. It i hard on me too.”

”Uh okay?”

He looked towards the ceiling.

”But it is what I believe in. If I don't do this some other pony will and it's not sure that does ponies have the stmach to do it that I do, so I must do this because I'm one of the few that can.” He look over to the blue mare in the room. ”Mean Speech, it is time.” he then lowered himself onto his haunches and covered his ears with his front hooves.

”Okay,” she said, inhaled, exhaled, and then gave Anon a glare. ”Mister Anonymous!

”Uhh. Yes?”

”You dunderhead! Why where you in the princess'es garden, huh? Is is because you're a fruit? No, I see now. It is because you're-” Her mouth closed y itself but she forced the word out. ”-a piece of garbage. An-n-and certainly smell like one!” She pointed at him as she half glared at him and partly seemed to feel that she was out on thin ice with these comments.

The stallion had noticed that she had stopped talking and had removed the hooves from blocking the sound.

Anon took a sniff from his armpit.

”Fuck! You're right,” Anon said as he looked disgusted. The two ponies looked shell shocked by the word, fuck. ”I smell like freshly picked dingl-”

”Ahh!” said the mare as she and the stallion covered their ears. ”Don's say the F-word.”

”The F-word? Ah, you mean fuck?”

”Ahh! Stop him!” the mare said as she pointed at him.

”I'm on it!” said the stallion as he covered Anon's mouth with a piece of silver tape through levitation.

”Mmmph!” Anon exclaimed.

The blue stallion panted as he let his hooves fall from his ears and stared at Anon with wide eyes.

It was now that Anon notice the cutie mark on his flank. It was a feather stroking the underside of a hoof.

”It is time. Although, I'd hope to avoid this, you bring me no choice,” the stallion said as a feather glowing in blue hovered out from the shadows and into the light. Blue light untied on of Anon's shoes and pull it and the sock under it off. The feather's tip was dragged along Anon's foot.

Anon began to strugglebut was held down by a blue magic force. Instead his strained face showed how he felt and his muffled laughs through the tape also added to this.

”You should know, I don't take any pleasure in doing this,” the stallion said while he turned his head away. He gringed every time Anon jerked but he couldn't look away.

With smiling eyes, Anon tapped magic force. It disappeared. As Anon was loose again and the ticling had stopped, he made motions for taking it easy with his hands.

After removing the tape really slowly, so not to pull out any facial hairs from Anon, the stallion spoke.

”Okay, speak! Why where you outside of the princess's room?” he asked.

”The question isn't why I was there? The question is why you weren't? Wooka chicka wooka chicka,” Anon said as he pulled like lucky Luke and fired off a few fingerguns.

”What?” The stallion looked confused. ”Why would I be there?”

Anon looked smug, his tongue licked his lips, and he tilted his head.

The mare shook her head and stepped forward as she did this the stallion pulled back and brought his attention back towards his cup of chocolate and picked up an chocolate coated doughtnut into the air.

”Please, mister Anon. Stop playing games now and tell us why you where there?” she said.

”I already did,” Anon said while chuckling, ”He he he.” He shook his head. ”I obviously came to catch a glimpse of that poonut.”

She looked a bit bothered.

”Poo... Nut?” she asked.

”Yes, the asshole of a pony is like a doughnut so we call it a poonut.”

The stallion who was just about to take a bite of his dought nut froze, looked at his cup of chocolate and chocolate coated doughtnut before they both dropped to the ground as his head jerked forward. He looked like he as about to womit before he ran out of the room.

The mare fell onto her haunches and her face was flushed pink. She looked over at Anon who had his elbows up and hands on his head.

”Uhm...” the mare murmured and Anon smiled towards her. She gulped. ”So... Mister Anon?”

”What's up fam?”

The mare rubbed her hoof tips against each other.

”Why did you wanna see the Princess's p-p... Tailhole. Does she have something wrong with it? Are you a doctor?”

”No.” Anon waved his hand dismissively. ”I just wanna stick mah dick in it.”

”Hhaaaaahhh...” the mare let out a gasped that transitioned into a whimper and huge puff of smoke. ”So... L-lewd!” The mare fell onto her back and fainted.

Anon checked her pulse. She was still alive just sleeping.

He left her there before he exited the room and he navigated himself through corridors towards the exit.

His knees reach high in every long step he took, he leaned back so much that one would think he would fall onto his back, and he swung his arms like pendulums.

He felt like the coolest guy in the world.

>>264592
>>264594

As ever, I would like to start off by recommending you spell-check and proofread your text for grammar before posting it; this is really the easiest-to-fix problem your writing has that I've noticed. There are two glaringly obvious mechanical errors in the first line of your text:

>swining lamp
I'm assuming this is meant to say "swinging" lamp.

>his arm resting partly backrest
Here I'm assuming you meant to say "his arm resting partly on the backrest."

>only lit up by
This one is not technically incorrect, but personally I would go with "lit only by" instead, as it is slightly better linguistically. Sometimes you can make your text flow a little better just by rearranging the wording a little.

Thus, I'd probably reconstruct this opening line as:
>With his legs spread wide apart and his arm resting partly on the backrest, a green man in a black suit sat on a chair in a dark room, lit only by a swinging lamp above him.

Grammar and spelling aside, this is actually a very good opening line. It simultaneously sets the mood and provides a clear visual. Without reading anything but this line, I get an immediate impression that this scene is going to be somehow confrontational, either a prisoner interrogation or an interview of some kind. From the depiction of the scene we can assume that Anon is under some kind of scrutiny here and is thus on the defensive, yet by the way he's sitting he clearly has a casual attitude about it. We get an immediate impression of a confident, unflappable character who remains cool under pressure.

>”That's me,” the green man said as he jerked his arms back adn forth from him like he was sawing with them in the air while showcasing a cocky grin.
This sentence confirms and reinforces the above impression. However, you may want to play with the wording a bit here and see if there's a better way you can describe what he's doing. I'm not entirely clear what he's doing with his arms, and "showcasing a cocky grin" reads a little awkwardly.

The main takeaway here is, again, that he's being deliberately nonchalant in a situation that was clearly designed to put him on guard, thus showing the cop-pony who is interrogating him that he ain't even mad. If the arm-gesture he's making here is too complicated to describe, you could just as easily have him crack his fingers or interlock them behind his head, and it would convey the same impression.

also:
>back adn forth
back and forth. Spellcheck, nigger. Say it with me: S P E L L C H E C K.

Normally when I read your work I notice a number of spelling and grammar errors that I politely ignore, and instead just mention that it's a problem that you need to keep an eye on. However, since it's an ongoing issue and I am nothing if not an irreverent dick, I am going to start calling you out on every single spelling and grammar error that I find.

Thus:
>The blue mare bit her lipwhile her eyes glacned upwards before she looked back at him again with a questioning experssion.

>lipwhile
lip while

>glacned
glanced

>experssion
expression

>Your going to explain
You're. "Your" signifies ownership, as in Your anus is gaping from constant sodomy. "You're" is a contraction of "you are," as in "you're constantly being sodomized, you faggot."

>Anon opened his mouth and then closed it. He gave her a really?-look and then a smile crossed his lips. ”And what if I refuse?” He looked at her cutiemark, which was a speech bubble with an exclaimation point, a question mark, an at sign, a pound sign, and a asterisk. ”Will you start to sing?”

A few things here. It's actually not an ironclad rule, but it's usually considered best to make a new paragraph for each line of spoken dialogue. I would at least start a new paragraph at "And what if I refuse?" and then leave the rest. There are probably a few different ways you could arrange this text, so play with it a bit and see what you like.

>He gave her a really?-look
I'd probably write this as:
"Really? his look seemed to say."
However, there are a few different ways you could phrase it that would work equally well. Again, I'd play around with wording a bit here and see what you like.

Also, at the point where her cutie mark is being described, it would actually be better to just write out the mark instead of describing each character, since they're all ASCII text characters. "!?@#*" in this case. Although I will give you some extra points for not calling the pound sign a hashtag; kudos on triggering the millennials.

And, as ever:

>cutiemark
cutie mark

>exclaimation
exclamation

>Infront of him, a doughnut was held by the same teal magic that swirled around his horn and over one of his eyes two bandaids with fuzzy teddy bears with large red bow ties around their necks, formed a line as if he had been cut across his eye.

This is a huge run-on sentence. Definitely break this up.

>Infront
In front

>dougnuts
doughnuts

> wtih
with

>”Dig in everypony,” she said and then blush while pulling a hoot to her mouth.
I'm assuming you meant "hoof" here, unless she is somehow eating the sound an owl makes. Also, you should use the past tense of "blush" and probably add some commas:

"Dig in, everypony," she said, and then blushed while pulling a hoof to her mouth."

>”There you go,” the new mare said and gave anon a warm smile.
If "Anon" is going to be used as a proper noun, it should always be capitalized.

>he most first tell us
he must first tell us

>which made the unicorn's teeth reveal itself as he grinned.
Awkward phrasing here. First of all, it should be "themselves" and not itself, since "teeth" is plural. However, it's probably better to just say something like: "The unicorn revealed his teeth as he grinned." This is not only better for word economy, but attributes the action to the unicorn rather than the teeth.

Running out of space, will continue in another post.

>>264729
>Spellcheck, nigger. Say it with me: S P E L L C H E C K.
But my verbal IQ. :D

>>264594
>>264592
>>264729
Sorry, I've mostly been shitting on your grammar and spelling. Here are some general impressions of the text so far:

This is actually a pretty amusing take on the whole good cop/bad cop routine. We have a fairly humorous situation here, where Anon is being interrogated by some cop ponies for peeping on one of the Princesses. Anon is just being Anon; casually not giving a fuck and just being an all-around smart-ass.

The mare cop and the stallion cop clearly take their jobs seriously and are trying to intimidate Anon. Anon, meanwhile, is not even remotely intimidated because, well, they're fucking ponies. This is made even worse by the fact that a third pony is now bringing him doughnuts and coffee and being nice to him. In a typical police interrogation this would be the "good cop" who tries to empathize with the suspect while the "bad cop" intimidates him; however, here, it's fairly obvious that the "good cop" is legitimately being nice. This probably frustrates the two serious cops because they are already having trouble controlling the interrogation.

The fact that the "bad" cops seem to think that not letting Anon have a doughnut counts as being rough with him basically confirms Anon's impression that the situation is not that serious, and adds to the humor. Even the other "bad" cop thinks the stallion is going too far when he only gives him half the doughnut in order to get him jonzing for the other half. The "good" cop, being excessively nice, seems legitimately shocked that her colleague would do something so cruel. All in all, a very nice use of the cuteness of the universe for comic effect.

Anyway, this is fairly amusing so far. Pacing is good; the schtick is funny but it doesn't drag itself out for too long. As ever, the main issues here are grammar and spelling, and some of the phrasing of spoken lines should be played with a bit to make dialogue flow more naturally.

That said, I shall now resume shitting on your grammar and spelling for a bit:

> siad
said

>learnt
learned

>we get better ressult
we get better results

>Trailsof tears
Trails of tears

Also, this paragraph:

>”But I took this job because I thought that was too harsh, ” she said and hiccuped.” To make somepony think that they have gained a new friend *hiccups* but then it turns out they haven't. *hiccups* I wanted to actually become their new friend but *hiccups* I still end up hurting you.” Trailsof tears glistened on her cheeks.
Since she's hiccuping in between spoken lines here, you could probably split this into a few separate lines of dialogue with the hiccups written outside of the quotes, and then begin and end lines with an ellipsis, like so:

"To make somepony think that they have gained a new friend..."

*hiccup*

"...but then it turns out they haven't..."

*hiccup*

This is stylistic, though, and it's kind of a matter of preference. The way you have it isn't necessarily wrong. However, do pay attention to where you place your quotation marks:

>she said and hiccuped." To make somepony...
The mark is placed directly after 'hiccuped' here, implying that the marks are concluding a spoken part rather than starting a new one. It should be:
>she said and hiccuped. "To make somepony...

This is probably just a typing error, but again it's something to pay attention to, as it can make the text slightly harder to read.

>Anon reach out a hand to towards her
Anon reached out a hand towards her

>”Well, you don't need to be upset. I'm not hu-” he said.
There's nothing technically wrong here, but the way it trails off leaves the meaning rather ambiguous. From context, we can assume Anon was probably about to say "I'm not hurt," but it could also potentially be read as "I'm not human," which could add a dimension to the scene that you might not have intended. I'd probably rewrite this as "Well, you don't need to be upset. I'm not hurt--" just to clarify this; however, what you wrote is not technically incorrect so it's up to you.

>I feel so disgusting with myself
I feel so disgusted with myself. although if she's getting disgusting with herself I'd like to hear more about it, wakka chicka wokka chicka

>Anon eyebrows formeda flat line across his eyes and his jaw fell slack.
Really, nigger?

Also, it's a little unclear why Anon is screaming at the end:
>”Aaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!” came out of his stationary mouth.

There is no context provided here and nothing obvious is happening that should elicit such a reaction. Also, "stationary mouth" just sounds weird. Also:

>The blue stallion stared at the door as it closed itself.

I basically get what is happening here: the pink mare overreacts in a funny way, feeling that she has been unduly cruel to Anon, and runs out of the interrogation room. Anon suddenly screams for some unexplained reason, out of his mouth which for some reason is stationary despite clearly being engaged in the act of screaming, and then the door shuts. However, the focus here is on the door, and the text seems to be implying that the door shut on its own, for reasons not connected to what is happening. I would probably rewrite this last line as something like:

>The blue stallion stared, as the mare ran sobbing from the room, the door swinging shut behind her.

But play around with it and see what works.

Anyway, that's the end of the first post and I'm running out of space, so I'll split it off here and continue in a new post.

>>264594
>>264748

>It i hard on me too
It is hard on me too

>If I don't do this some other pony will and it's not sure that does ponies have the stmach to do it that I do, so I must do this because I'm one of the few that can.
Okay, fuck. Well, let's get the obvious out of the way:

>stmach
stomach

However, what I'm more concerned about is:

>and it's not sure that does ponies have the stmach to do it that I do
ESL causing the occasional grammar slip-up is one thing, but this...this...suffice it to say that my brain is full of fuck right now. This is like Lovecraftian Cthulu-speak right here. I'm not sure this makes sense in any language; in fact, I don't even want to read it to myself it out loud, because I'm afraid I might accidentally open a portal in my apartment to the realm of the Elder Things. To put it lightly, I'm going to advise a rewrite of this sentence.

>He look over
He looked over

>Why where you in the princess'es garden
Why were you in the princess' garden. Or, if the garden belongs to more than one princess, it would be written as "princesses' garden." Either way, if a proper noun ends with an 's', or if you are dealing with quantities of two or more, always use the trailing apostrophe, rather than an apostrophe followed by an 's' or 'es'. English is an amazingly stupid language sometimes.

>Her mouth closed y itself
Her mouth closed by itself

>Although, I'd hope to avoid this
Although, I'd hoped to avoid this

>you bring me no choice
you leave me no choice

>Blue light untied on of Anon's shoes and pull it and the sock under it off.
Blue light untied one of Anon's shoes and pulled it and the sock under it off.
This one is also kind of a run-on and a little awkwardly phrased.

>Anon began to strugglebut
struggle but, unless there's a new dance currently sweeping Equestria called the Strugglebut.

>He gringed
cringed, unless the gringe is some component move of the Strugglebut.

>With smiling eyes, Anon tapped magic force. It disappeared. As Anon was loose again and the ticling had stopped, he made motions for taking it easy with his hands.
Tickling. Also, the meaning here is unclear.

>Anon tapped magic force
This implies that Anon has magic powers, but it is not clear what powers he is using or how he is using them.

>It disappeared
What disappeared?

>he made motions for taking it easy with his hands.
I more or less understand what you're trying to say here, but it's awkwardly phrased. Both grammatically and in context, this is implying that Anon is making general motions (with some unspecified part of his body) which indicates that the police stallion should take it easy with Anon's hands. This doesn't make a ton of sense. Saying something like "he made a motion with his hands, asking the stallion to take it easy" would read easier. Again, I'd play around with the wording here until you get something you like.

>so not to pull out any facial hairs
so as not to pull out any facial hairs

>Why where you outside of the princess's room?
Why were you outside of the princess' room?

>The question isn't why I was there? The question is why you weren't?
The first sentence isn't a question, so it shouldn't have a question mark. Also, the second bit should read "why weren't you?" Altogether, I'd write this as:
>The question isn't why I was there. The question is: why weren't you?"
Alternatively, you could streamline it further and do:
>The question isn't why was I there, it's why weren't you?"
You could probably tweak it further, as this still doesn't feel quite right to me. You should pay particular attention to the wording of lines meant to be the punchlines of jokes, as nothing kills the humor of a snappy line worse than gringily bad grammar :^)

>picked up an chocolate coated doughtnut into the air
picked up a chocolate covered doughnut. You don't need "into the air" at all here.

>why you where there?
why you were there

>womit
vomit

>His knees reach high
His knees reached high

Aaaaand that should be all of them. Let me know if I missed any..

Anyway, criminally bad grammar and spelling aside, I actually quite enjoyed reading this. As I've said to you before, you have a good instinct for how to properly build and develop a scene, you just need to work on language and execution, and ffs turn on your spellchecker and learn to proofread.

The overall scene here is quite funny. As the cop ponies continue interrogating him, Anon continues not being terribly perturbed, and keeps messing with them. His nonchalant attitude is clearly justified: the worst the cops can manage is tickling him with a feather. Even the pony whose special talent appears to involve coarse language can't do much worse than tell him he smells, and is shocked by Anon's actual foul language. Clearly anyone from our world with a mischievous streak could go hog-wild in Equestria with few consequences. Actually, I think I mentioned this during my review of Past Sins, I'm rather wondering if that's what gave you the idea? In any event I enjoy this sort of thing; misanthropic protagonists can be a lot of fun to write.

The ponut gag was funny as well. "Poo-nut" is pushing it a bit, especially since the officer eating the chocolate doughnut and getting sick drives the fecal aspect of the joke home a little too hard. Obviously I have no problem reading or writing pretty graphic and revolting stuff, but it might make some readers queasy (though if that's your intent then by all means stay the course). You could probably change "Poonut" to "Ponut" and it would work just as well, since one way or the other the reader can tell you're talking about buttholes. I also like the way the joke was built: the doughnuts appeared close to the beginning of the story and were used throughout.

Ending was good. though I would have molested the unconscious police pony a little had I been in Anon's shoes

Actually, as long as I'm here I might as well drop in something I wrote. I might try to post my own writing around here more often; give people a chance to shit on my work for a change.

Anyway, this is something I shitposted on 4/lit/ a few weeks ago that I wound up rather liking:

--------------------------------------------------------

"Braaaaaaaaap."

"What?" said the woman, startled.

"I said I fucking hate niggers," I replied. "Do you want me to turn it down? Well, eat shit you communist, because I'm going to turn it up instead."

With that I threw the table over, scattering books in disarray. Everyone in the library turned and looked at me, so I picked up a copy of All's Quiet on the Western Front and threw it at one of the onlookers.

"Ow!" she screamed as the corner hit her in the eye.

"Serves you right," I murmured, picking up a hardback edition of The Adventures of Tom Sawyer. "How do you read this shit, anyway? I hate books."

I hurled Tom at the same woman, and, as if by divine providence, the corner hit her directly in the eye again. She fell down, clutching at her face and sobbing.

"Hey now, that's enough..."

I never found out who said this, because I suddenly realized that I needed to take a shit, so I ran off to find the lavatory. Unfortunately, I got lost on the way and wound up back at the same table. Actually, I don't think I went anywhere. Time is confusing to me. Life is confusing to me.

I pulled down my pants and shit on the floor. Another of the women started crying. Most of them were crying by then. I could see the librarian who started all of this peeking through the window. She'd gone into the office to hide, the coward. I chucked a copy of The Fault in our Stars at the window as hard as I could.

"Fuck you!" I screamed. "Fuck your cunt of a whore mother."

Plop. I'd forgotten I was pooping, but I remembered as soon as a loaf pinched off and landed on Invitation to a Beheading. I could feel that the turd had hit the waistband of my pants on the way down and left a mark. I always hate it when that happens, and I suppressed the urge to give myself completely over to rage. Now is not the time, I thought to myself. Now is not the time.

I looked around at the little town library, now in a state of absolute disarray thanks to me. A fart involuntarily tooted out of me. No, scratch that; a shart. Damn. Now I need to go to the mart.

"I'm going to the mart," I proclaimed, and waddled out of the library, my pants around my ankles. I'll probably get some looks on the subway, but I'm not pulling these pants up. Not with shit on the waistband.

I need to get my PCP addiction under control.

THE END

>>248968

This is actually delightfully crude. It should absolutely be posted somewhere that feminists congregate, or better yet record an actual performance, and sing it in as musky a voice as you can manage. Not sure how much of it is irony and how much is actual desire to fuck slime girls, but either way this deserves a (You), especially since it's apparently gone five months unnoticed.

>I would shoot anyone who calls you snot
I feel like you could also go with "I would shoot anyone who calls you a thot"

Also, there are some hilarious rhymes here:

>thiccer / dick her
>please you / release goo
>sublime and / diamond

"I'm ready to find out if liquid can scream" is getting a little creepy, but again, if your intent is to trigger feminists that could be a good thing. If you do end up making a recording, don't puss out here; put as much rapey emphasis on your voice here as you can.

All in all, nice work.

>>264788
What the fuck. This reminds me of King battle brits style of writing.

Also, don't think I didn't notice you dabbing with you're number of read books on a illiterate brainlet such as myself. It's sad but true, I only recognise the first title.

>>264792
>WTF
As in what did I actually just read.

>>264792
Eh, like I said the intended audience was /lit/. Figured I'd throw in some references they'd appreciate. btw don't feel too bad, you're not missing much with The Fault in Our Stars

>>264794
Actaully, I lied because I was to lazy to explain myself but I do recognise that that story. I remember it was made by some liberal youtuber. Don't know how good it is just that it's about some girl getting cancer and a boyfriend. It's probably just pityporn but I can say since I know next to nothing.

I just remembered. While I don't want to be a bother to the person who wrote it by shilling it. I clearly have a bias since I sort of like the anon who wrote it but you wanted sugguestions so why wouldn't I sugguest something that I like?

Kingbattlebrit wrote, file attached, like a year and half ago, during the national writing month thingie. I think it's a solid 7/10 mystery story.

I know you don't have time for that though since you're are going to do Fio and then FE but I would regret not recomend it. If nothing else, it can be something fun to read inbetween the other pony madness you read to cleanse yourself.

>>264794
So I had actually intended to ask you to review this story, or well this is half of that story, but in the middle of it I got sidetracked and the pacing became rubbish so I don't want to subject you to it. I'm very merciful in that regard.

Ding-a-ling.

An otherwise orange leg but with a white hoof, like a short sock, shoved a door opened. The setting sun was reflected in the orange unicorn's round glasses that rested on his white striped muzzle. The unicorn took a long sniff of the many pleasant smells that originated from the different glass desks which had all manner of baked goods that had been neatly put on display.

”Oh, if it isn't our new neighbor. Are you done unpacking, Sunburst?” a yellow lanky stallion, who had previously been writing something with a pencil in his mouth, asked the orange stallion.

”Yes, I just finished sorting my books into the bookshelves,” said Sunburst as he moved his disheveled red-brown mane out of the way and simultaneously made the hem of his azure cape flutter. He looked a bit tired.

”Hiya, Sunburst!” a call came from behind the yellow stallion. It had was a pink earth pony with a fuffy mane who was just in the middle of stirring a bowl in the kitchen.

”Hi, Pinkie,” Sunburst said and waved at her.

Sunburst looked at a blueberry muffin, licked his lips, picked it up in his magic, and he and the yellow stallion walked over to the cash register.

”That will be four bits,” said the yellow stallion.

As Sunburst fished up four coins out of the inner pocket of his cape, Pinkie bounced out in the room. Her neck had patches of white flour and a wood ladle was stuck to her mane through the dough.

”The cake is in the oven, Mister Cake,” she spoke to the yellow stallion. ” Can I go now?”

”Yes, but Pinkie.” Pinkie had begun to skip towards the door as Mr. Cake spoke. She stopped and he gestured at the dough in her mane. ”You should probably wash up before you go.”

Pinkie glanced up at what he was referring to and then smiled.

”Ah, no. Don't be silly. That's so I have something to chew on, on the trip.” Pinkie said as she bounded merrily out of the sugar cube corner.

While the sun was halved by the horizon, Pinkie was walking towards Twilight's crystal palace meanwhile chewing on the ladle. She knocked on the great double doors and as she waited to be let inside, she tossed the ladle back into her mane was it disappeared, stored somewhere in the small cosmos of Pinkie's mane.

After a while, Spike greeted her and told her that Twilight was up in the Palace's library.

”Hey, Twilight,” said Pinkie as she jumped into the library.

Twilight quickly hid harharharhar...

Twilight had been haunched over a book with a smile on her face, then Pinkie entered and she got so startled that she tossed that book up into the air.

”Pinkie!” Twilight yelled at her as a thud was heard from the book landing on the floor. ”What have I told you about knocking?”

”Oh, right,” Pinkie said with a sheepish grin before she bounced out of the room and closed the door as if someone had pressed reverse on the universe.

The was a knock.

”Hey, Twilight can I come in?”

Twilight smacked her lips as she looked for her book.

”Yes,” Twilight grumbled and Pinkie bounced in. ”But next time, knock before you enter.”

”Oki-Doki-Loki.” I just realized that I'm a grown man who writes stories about cartoon ponies.

Twilight put the book back on the table.

”Whatcha readin'?” Pinkie asked.

”Oh.” Twilight regained her smile. ”The new Daring Doo book, Daring Doo and Pirate Black Floof's Lost Treasure. It came out today. It's good so far.”

Twilight pushed the front cover over to Pinkie. It depicted Daring Do, looked scared shitless, flying up from the ocean while a green guy held onto her hooves for his life as tentacles from a giant squid tried to grab them. Behind the squid, a small black silhouette of a ship could be seen at the bottom of the ocean.

Suddenly, the sound of glass being shattered was heard throughout the room and then Rainbow Dash appeared in the air above them with the same book in her hooves.

”Twilight!” She shouted. ”How far are you? Have you read the end of the first chapter?”

”Rainbow! From where did you come in?” asked Twilight, frowning a bit because she had sneaking suspicion that she knew what that sound had been. ”Did you break one of my windows again?”

Rainbow Dash waved a hoof dismissively.

”Sssh, Twilight, I'm asking the questions here. How far in are you?”

Twilight sighed.

”Yes, I have and-”

”At first I was like, heh, what a lame kid when will Daring Doo arrive, and then we learn that it's actually Daring Doo. This is the story about how she became Daring Doo! Can you believe it!” Rainbow Dash flew up into Twilight's face.

Twilight shook her head and chuckled.

”Yes, Rainbow. I agree it was very artfully don-”

”How far are you? Have you read chapter three?”

”Yes, I'm at the end of-”

”Oh, Woah oh woah oh woah.” Rainbow Dash landed on the table.

Rainbow suddenly stood attention and then gave Twilight a firm look.

”Miss Yearling,” she said in a voice that was supposed to mimic a stallion's. ”You're father has been ponynapped. Dun dun duuun!”

Then Rainbow leaned on one of her hoofs while she dragged the other through her mane.

”Sure, sweet flanks. I'll help. You can call me, Anon,” Rainbow said with a smug smile then she jumped onto her hooves again stretched out her tongue.

”And I was like, 'Ugh, lame.' But then she actually starts blushing. I'm like, Daring gal, pal, what are you doing falling for this guy's lameness,” Rainbow said as she gestured in the air.

”And then he says something like, 'There's more to me than what meets the eye' Pah! Whatever.” Rainbow snorted

Twilight chuckled in her hooves.

>>265590

”And then comes the shocking twist, 'We'll see girlie. Now Anon, give me that letter,'” said Rainbow dash as she mimicked another male voice while pointing at nothing.

”What? Anon? No, it can't be true! You sold me out?” Rainbow said in her best Daring Doo impression while wearing a faux expression of wide shocked sad eyes before she rolls her eyes.

”Sister,” Rainbow face hoofed. ”I have been here yelling at you several pages, he is a bad guy.”

Rainbow stood still with a look of shame on her features as she hung her head.

”I'm sorry. But you're not the only one who has to family to protect,” Rainbow said in her male voice again before rolling her eyes.

”But then she fights that huge squid. And it's like.” Rainbow waggled her hooves in the air so the would look like pliable wet spaghetti. ”And she is like, 'Ahh!' And it's like, 'rawr rawr rawr.”

Rainbow formed a beck with her hooves and began to make motions so it looked like it was chewing.

”Then Anon shows up and is like.” Rainbow pretended to toss something into the air while making a sound for it.

”Then Daring is like.” Rainbow jumped after the nothing thing that she pretended to toss into the air, she pretends to grab it in the air, and then she slid to a halt while making grinding noises with her mouth.

”Then Anon has this fight scene with pirates.” Rainbow was making jabs and kicks in the air with her hooves. ”Meanwhile, Daring finishes the squid.”

Rainbow pretended to pull out the pin to something with the teeth.

”I'm sorry but I don't eat neighponies' food,” Rainbow said as she did her best Daring Doo impression and tossed her pretend bomb away.

”Booom!” Rainbow shouted as she made a mushroom cloud with her hooves while falling onto her back.

Rainbow Dash flew up to Pinkie and began to boop her nose rapidly which Pinkie seemed to only think was funny.

”Ohhhhhh snap! She said her first one-liner. Daring Doo's first one-liner!” Rainbow Dash was hollering.

”Rainbow! You got to be careful with Pinkie's-” Twilight began but was interrupted by Rainbow again.

”Why did you come back?” she said in her Daring Doo voice.

”There is more to me than what meets the eye,” Rainbow said, striking a pose while mimicking a male's low voice.

Rainbow waggled her hoof into empty space again.

”Okay, Anon, you're kind of cool guy. I'll give you that. Ohhh, it's so good!” Rainbow shouted and flew over to Twilight and shook her shoulders.

”Y-ye-es, Ra-ain-bow. I- Rainbow!” Twilight pushed Rainbow's hooves away.

Rainbow grinned sheepishly and stroke the back of her neck.

”Sorry.”

”I do agree that it's very well written. I especially like the fact that Anon influences Daring to make jokes, it is good character development,” Twilight said and clapped her hooves together.

Rainbow, being please to see that she was not the only one loving the book so far, started to fangasm again.

”Yeah, and did you see that move she did with the wire. Oooh!” Rainbow said as she punched in the air.

”Mm-mm.” Twilight nodded. ”It was very nicely set up as they use it to lower the [Forgot what its called].”

Rainbow Dash was spinning her hoof in the air.

”I know right?”

Pinkie smiled at Rainbow's antics even though her face seemed to suggest confusion, which Twilight noticed.

”Uh, Rainbow?” Rainbow stopped her flailing in the air and turn her attention towards Twilight. Twilight nodded towards Pinkie.

”Perhaps, we could talk about it another time? Pinkie hasn't read the book, after all, right Pinkie?” Twilight asked.

”Nopie! But I don't mind,” Pinkie said.

”See Twi. She doesn't mind. No stop worrying,” Rainbow Dash said.

”Sure, but,” Twilight said as she looked at Pinkie. ”I think it is better if we take it another time so she isn't excluded.”

Twilight's face lit up and she clapped her hooves together.

”That's right we could have a book night! Where we discuss what we have read so far,” Twilight said looking thrilled over the prospect.

A small book was covered in what looked like purple gas and flew over to Twilight from its place on a shelf. She opened it and it was revealed that it was a calendar.

”How far in are you, Rainbow?” asked Twilight as a pencil was levitated over the pages.

”I just finish chapter three, then I knew I had to talk about it,” Rainbow Dash said.

”Then what about tomorrow, on Tuesday, in the evening we could meet up here and discuss it.” Twilight asked.

”Huh? But Pinkie said she didn't mind,” Rainbow Dash complained.

”Yeppie. I don't mind at all,” Pinkie said as she smiled at them.

”See, no problem,” Rainbow Dash said.

”Yes, but I think that Pinkie is just trying to be nice. It isn't very fun to listen to two ponies talk about something you know nothing about, besides Pinkie might want to read the book herself and then we wouldn't want to spoil it for her.”

Rainbow had been rolling her eyes during Twilight's speech but at the end of it her eye widened and she turned to Pinkie.

”Right! Pinkie!” Dash said as she got in Pinkie's face with stars in her eyes.

”Ehh, yes?” asked Pinkie a bit taken back by Rainbow Dash's sudden enthusiasm.

”You should read the book with us.” Rainbow looked like she had just invented perpetual motion.

”Oh,” Pinkie said as she bit her under lips and looked away.

”It's gonna be great,” Rainbow Dash exclaimed. ”You're going to love Daring Doo.”

Rainbow Dash then turned to Twilight.

”I know! We invite Rarity as well. She likes reading some detective series. I bet she is going to love reading Daring Doo. I will go tell her right now!” Rainbow said as she took off towards where she came from.

>>265591
”Rainbow!I sure do like to repeat myself.” shouted Twilight and Rainbow stopped in the air.

”What?”

”You don't even know if Pinkie wants to read the book.”

Realization crossed her face and then she flew down to Pinkie.

”Will you read it,” asked Rainbow.

Pinkie back away a bit, looking a bit bothered. Rainbow Dash looked at her with two big pleading eyes. Looking at these eyes, Pinkie found herself unable to deny them.

”Oh, okay. I'll read the book with you,” Pinkie said although she looked a bit bothered.

”Yessss!” said Rainbow Dash as she jumped into the air.

Twilight walked up to Pinkie and put a hoof on her shoulder.

”You don't have to if you don't feel up for it,” Twilight said. Rainbow Dash immediately stopped jumping up and down and looked over.

Pinkie saw how Rainbow Dash's face had a small strain of dread on it.
Pinkie shook her hoof in the air.

”Nonono, it's fine. Really, I love to read with you guys,” she said with a bright smile.

Twilight lingered a bit on the smile though, maybe it was her imagination but it seemed strained somewhat.

Twilight finally nodded and smiled back.

”Okay, I don't think the book will have sold out by tomorrow so why don't you come with us and, if Rarity also joins, to books and quills to buy it tomorrow and then we meet to discuss everything till chapter four on Friday? Does that sound good to you?” Twilight asked.

Pinkie seemed a bit lost in her own world as Twilight talked but snapped out of it when she finished and gave her a reassuring smile and a nod.

Rainbow Dash was also nodding along with Twilight until she realized something.

”Wait. Did you mean one should have read chapter four till Friday or that we can't read further than that?” Rainbow Dash asked.

Twilight brought a hoof to her mouth.

”Both actually. It's not fun for the others if we spoil the story for them and it will be boring if we can't ponder the future of the story together with the rest of the group. So I say we should wait the others in,” Twilight said.

”What? With the speed I'm going have, I'll have chapter four read by tomorrow. I'll have to wait four whole days to read the next chapter?” Rainbow Dash said.

”At least you have more to read, I am already at the end of chapter four and was just about to finish it,” Twilight said.

”I bet. Egghead.”

Twilight gave her a raised eyebrow but let the comment slide.

”And besides, you know that not spoiling the story for the rest of the group when we meet and discuss it would be agonizing.”

Rainbow scratched her chin.

”Yeeeaaahhh, maaaybeee. Okay, let's say so. See you tomorrow. I gotta tell Rarity the great news!”

”Rainbow! It ten P.M! Rainbow! ” But where there once had been a Rainbow Dash there was now just a rainbow blur as Rainbow Dash disappeared off to Rarity.

After Pinkie and Twilight decided upon when they should meet up tomorrow to plan their trip to the bookstore, Twilight and Pinkie spent and hour just hanging out.

As Pinkie traveled home towards Sugarcube Corner, she looked up towards the star clad sky above with a sad expression.

She was careful to not wake up the Cakes, the parents or the twins, as she walked upstairs to her room.

Her pet alligator, Gummy, was having one of his night walks on the windowsill, stargazing. She walked up to Gummy, opened the window, and leaned her front hooves and head on the windowsill next to Gummy

”Oh, Gummy what should I do? They'll think I'm stupid,” she spoked to the alligator who only opened and closed his eyes in response.

From her window she could see the lights from the top window of the house next to hers being lit. She saw that it was Sunburst who was sitting in the room, reading a book that he held in his magic grasp.

Her eyes widen for a moment before she downcast them again.

”No. This is my problem. Not his,” she said to herself and went to bed.

The next day Rarity, Rainbow Dash, Twilight Sparkle, and Pinkie Pie were going to the book store.

Rainbow Dash was hype itself and was constantly flying back and forth between the group and the store's front door.

Rarity was wearing sunglasses and a summer hat with a wide brim due to not getting enough beauty sleep last night because a certain rainbow-colored hooligan had entered her house and rambled on about Daring Doo into the late hours of the night.

Whenever Rainbow Dash came back from the store, she and Rarity would have minor squabble about Rainbow Dash not respecting others' needs as Rarity put it or as Rainbow Dash put it, being a special snowflake that needed to be pampered all the time.

Twilight was trying to keep the peace between her two friends if she hadn't she might have noticed that Pinkie was different than usual.

Pinkie was not her normally hyper self but quiet and tense. She hadn't gotten much sleep, which the bags under her eyes could attest to. She was quite rigid and tense as she walked and she let out a ragged breath as they entered the store.

They bought the books and left the store.

Rarity had been won over to read the book by the handsome green man on the cover and had to the joy of Rainbow Dash left for home with a promise to have read to chapter four by Friday.

After that, they had all gone their separate ways.

Pinkie, with the book in her saddlebag, had walked straight up to her room and put the book on a small table she had in the middle of the room.

Then what happens is that Pinkie goes to Sunburst for help. The reason is that Pinkie has a secret: She can't read.

>>264788
Fuck. I hate my own writing at times. I wish my writing could be like this>>248103 at all times. Just not wasting people's time with garbage and nonsense nobody asked for, jusst quick onto the point and the substance.

>>265590
>>265591
>>265592
I'm not a great literary critic but I really like where this short story is going. It gets right to the punch early on and it depicts the characters in their beloved cartoonish yet realistic personalities. One issue I see is that you tend toward beige prose where the sentences are a bit short, almost like a children's story. For example, "they bought the books and left the store" is excessively unembellished and it feels like it's forcing the plot along. Saying that Pinkie "hadn't gotten much sleep" rather than elaborating on details that allows the reader to come to that conclusion is another fault. Nonetheless, I love the body language you present in the text and it really feels like Rainbow is sperging out consistent with her character. There's also a buildup to a good moral lesson which is that one shouldn't expect others to have the same level of enthusiasm regarding your favorite things. I never imagined Pinkie as illiterate but I suppose it's not impossible, either.

>>265598
>I'm not a great literary critic
I think you're pretty solid as for pointing out something like this:
>Saying that Pinkie "hadn't gotten much sleep" rather than elaborating on details that allows the reader to come to that conclusion is another fault.
I would say something about this here but I hate arguing orr defending myself from any kind of criticism so I won't. I'm not here to defend myself I'm here to learn and your input has been helpful.

Can I ask you some questions? How was it to read? Did you ever or how many times did you think, "I got it. Move on, please."?

I also, would like to apologise for whining. In the end, I'm sure eveyone has problems of their own. So yeah.

>>265593
Maddeningly, I don't agree with this today. While I probably have a lot of pacing issues, One style of writing might have advantages over others so maybe I'm being too hard here? I know of story's that has a lot of textt othem but they don't really feel that long. I guess certain things just take more words and that's okay. I don't know nothing of this is probably intresting to anyone else, it is just something I have been thinking about to day.

Regardless, I wrote something today that truly encapsulate the ideal style, in my eyes, andd the style that I'm going forward, will try to adhere to. What I mean is that, I like this style not that I have proven that it's objectively superior.

”So... Getting sleepy yet?” asked a pink mare.

A pair of half-lidded red eyes were blinking from time to time.

”Yeah, I-”

A sudden yawn interupted the mare and she brought a grey hoof over her mouth.

”I might take you up on your offer now,” the grey unicorn mare said.

The grey pony walked over to a wooden bench which was covered in a blanket and laid down on it.

As the grey pony was getting comfortable on the blanket and tried to use her own cape as a cover, a similar cape hovered over.

”Here, use mine if you're freezing,” said the pink unnicorn mare.

”No, I mean- I can't. Then you'll freeze instead.”

”Eh. It's fine. Its only for a while and I'll warm myself by being up and about.” The pink mare began to walk on the spot in a way that it looked like she danced.

”See?” she said.

The grey mare let pink energies drape the cape over her. Then she grinned coyly at the other mare.

”Well, you know what is even warmer than a blanket...” the grey mare said as her tongue poked out between her lips.

She shifted her back to the backrest and lifted the cape out of the way to reveal some space next to her on the bench.

Red covered pink cheeks.

”Ar- Are you sure?” the pink mare stuttered.

”Of course, that's what friends are for

”I hope you brought your fire extinguishers and a can of cool-aid because the fires this lady creates, and I'm not just talking about my the one in loins, are so hot they melt steel beams. Give it up for, Red Dawn!” an announcer's voice rung out from the speakers.

Ponies and green humans alike were stomping their hooves respectively slapping their hands as yellow unicorn mare with a short, Derpy Doo styled, red mane with pinks streaks in it walked up into the arena.

The stadium was as large as the arena. On the arena a house was built, a garden with everything from flowers to vegetables grew, a well, a wagon loaded with sandbags, and dirt, grass, and trees. Red Dawn stood at one end of the arena, in the garden, near a pair of fat pumpkins.

The arena's headlights flickered out and were replaced with swirling red headlights that danced around and heavy metal music blared out of the speakers.

”And in the other corner, we have the filly who teleported out of her mother! Hold onto your loved ones or they might disappear when you aren't looking! This is Fair Star!” The announcer's voice boomed out throughout the stadium.

A grey mare with a spikey version of Twilight's mane but white walked up on the arena's other end. She stood next to the well.

Electonic techno music with wubs and bleeps and boops exited the stereos and lights of the arena rapidly flickered on and off.

A pegasi mare with a cap and a white and black striped shirt landed in the middle of the arena and the two ponies made their way over to her.

”Ladies! Please, try not to wear us out rescuing you. Okay?” the pegasi mare asked the two ponies that were now staring at each.other.

”Right,” said Red Dawn as she gave the Fair a smirk and smacked with her lips.

Fair only nodded towards the pegasus before continuing to focus her stare at the other unicorn.

”Alright,” said the pegasi. ”You know the rules: Ringouts and tap three times to give the match. Take your starting positions.”

The two unicorns walked back to where they had stood originally on the arena.

The judge held her hoof up into the air and the swung it down at the same tie as she blew in a whistle.

”And the match is on good folks and gentleponers! We, Swirl Swirl and Anonymous, are your commentators for this evening. So... What do you think about today's match, Anon?”

Another male voice could be heard through the speakers.

The green man was walking down a dirt road on his way to a large red barn.

His eyes caught glistening orange legs extending with full force into a tree and a cloudburst off apples falling onto the ground.

He cartoonishly cat-whistled, lobbed an apple on the ground to his hand with his feet, jumped up on a nearby white fence, and began to chew on it.

”Didn't know Sweet Apple Acres also offered a lunchtime entertainment but I stand corrected. How's it going, Sugarcube?” asked Anon.

”Hay! Who told you, you could eat our apples?” asked Applejack.

”Oh,” Anon began to loudly suck on the apple's exposed fruit flesh. Threads of apple juices and saliva hung for a brief minute between him and the apple after he stopped sucking on it.

Applejack looked weirded out by his action.

Smug af Anon then tossed the apple over his shoulder, jumped off the fence, and walked toward Applejack with wiggling fingers.

”That's not the only apple I'll eat out today,” he said

Applejack growled at him but the turned around. Anon's eyes lit up.

”That's a good girl,” she said as hands were about to grab the wide hips in front of him.

Then he felt pain in the nuts as he was sent flying across the trees after one swift buck.

”And don't come back!”

Anon landed in front of a small cottage with animals scattered around it.

Oh, you poor thing.”

”Ahhh! Fuck!” shouted Anon as he watched the bleeding wound on his arm. ”It hurts like hell!”

”Yes, and it will hurt a bit more now. But I gotta clean it so it doesn't get infected, okay?” said the yellow pegasus with a long pink mane as she poured a whole bottle of alcohol on the wound.

”Fuck!!!”

Fluttershy dried up the blood and the alcohol out of the wound and then bandage around it. Then she blew on it.

”See! All better now,” Fluttershy said.

Anon bawl his eyes out as he covered his face with his hands.

”Ooooh! I need you to blow something else,” he said as he thrust his hips in the air just in front flutter's nose.

”Oh,” the yellow one realized what he meant. ”I don't think you need treatment there.”

”Oh, but I do. Mean Mapplesmack get my balls in to orbit and that's no good

And I just can't do this scenario anymore. I thought if I had a simple story that revolved around one gag, I might be able to write it but this clearly isn't it. It's so bad. Hehehe

Will come up with something better to write about. Wanna write just don't know about what yet.

>Pic unrelated

The pony was crying and trembling on the stone floor.

”Go on. Bite her.”

A blue filly felt herself being shoved forward by a hoof towards the pony. Two white fangs stuck out from beneath the filly's upper lips and in place of a mane, she had black smoke drifter off her head and neck.

Tears rolled down the pony's cheeks as her wide eyes looked up at the filly who had equally big wide eyes.

”So-so. Go on. The longer it takes, the more painful it will get.”

The filly shut her eyes tightly.

”I- don't-”

The filly's voice broke as she let out throaty croaks.

”-Want to.”

From the shadows, a mare stepped out. She had fangs like the filly but blue flames danced from her head to her neck.

With one hoof, she brought the filly to her chest. The filly dug her muzzle into her chest floof.

The mare stroked the filly's neck in silence.

The mare sighed.

”Listen. You need to get over this. It is good that you can treat your livestock well but they are still livestock,” the mare said.

The mare lifted up the filly's chin so their eye met but only for second before the filly looked away.

”It's okay to kill them. In fact, the ponies live for us,” the mare whispered.

”I-I know that but...” the filly said. ”She looks so afraid. I don't wanna hurt her.”

The mare looked at the filly with sympathy.

”That's why I grabbed her. This is something you must overcome to

>Pic unrelated. Might just post some fun comic while I'm posting.

”...and that's why mares choose their mates according to hypergamy,” a green man said.

A purple aura swirled around a teacup that was placed on the table.

”I don't think every mare is like that. It might be a general rule but there are definitely exceptions to it,” a purple alicorn said.

”Oh, yeah? Can you name even one time where a mare hooked up with a stallion below them?” Anon gave the alicorn a smug look from his chair.

Twilight looked at him with a condescending look and wiggled her eyebrows.

”Heh. You know, I didn't elaborate to spare your feelings but I am such a mare.” She gestured to herself.

Anon's eyebrows went through the roof. He nodded at her with a sarcastic smile on his face. Twilight's smile only grew more.

”Ah-huh? Do you think you're better than me? Listen Twi. You're a very smart pony but please.” Anon held out his hand in the air.

”We both know you married me because of my superior intellect,” Anon said. ”Not to mention THESE. MASSIVE. GUNS!”

Anon flexed his biceps.

Twilight giggled in her hoof. She waved her hoof downwards.

”Anon. You may be physically fit but you aren't smarter than me. You and I are like Star Swirl the bearded and Clover the Clever. Smart but cannot hold a candle against a far greater mind,” Twilight said before she slurped on her tea again.

”Is that so? Then why don't you prove it, Galaxy brain? I challenge you to a game. Don't worry. After your defeat, it will be my pleasure to let you cry in my arms. While in bed... Naked.”

”Ooh, you're so on. Pinkie.”

”Yes!” Pinkie appeared at the table with a bright smile. ”You called?”

”Yes, I and Anon are going to play a game. I need you to-”

”Oh! Are you gonna play I-spy-with-my-little-eye? That's one of my favorites,” Pinkie exclaimed.

”Uhh, well... Actually, we some solid rules then why not?”

>>265981
You're in for a surprise if you do lose the dick measuring contest.

What is Twilight going to do, magic herself to have one?
thats cheating.

I wanted to get some discussion started on this concept, and where else but the scribble block. Hope its not too out of context but for the writefag thread.

So me and my girlfriend are a writer and an artist respectively and we wanted to combine our talents to make like children's books or illustrated novels or something. We'd been toying with sci-fi but we both kinda lost motivation on that. Sci-fi often feels too restrained, too thought out.

Theres this concept thats arisen a lot recently, I call it "weird fiction" as a reference to the experimental genre that HP Lovecraft helped pioneer, even though it doesn't really fit. You know how cartoons and comic books often play with shit thats just super far out there? Adventure Time did post-apocalyptic sci-fi fantasy, regular show did like a combination of slice-of-life and eldritch horror. There's just these super specific niches that need to be filled in the fiction universe. I was curious about any books that I should read that contain these super strange genres.

I as a write don't want to copy, I simply want to take inspiration from what I see, and put it into my mind, this out there, part sci-fi, part-fantasy stuff thats seeping into the collective conscious and maybe even help contribute to it. I was curious about how you think I could go about it? My girlfriend is an awesome artist and she'll definitley bring her own flair to it -- I asked her if she could look at cartoony styles and study them and she said that she would. Thoughts? Emotions? Sorry if this is incoherent or rambling I'm not in my best mind. Ask me if I can make anything clearer if need be

>>266031
You sound excited. So what is the basic premise. What will you be focusing on (the core of the writing / art, is it comedy slice of life, action, wholesomeness)? Dr Seuss Cosmic horror?

Praise football... There's nothing wrong with that right? Well, what if I told you there's another side to this story that you have never heard of.

Have you ever wondered how John Elway went from a mediocre coach to the most famous name in all of football? Well, the truth might shock you.

John Elway's club, Denver Broncos, started its career by guilt-tripping bigger clubs into friendly matches at their home stadium. Fans of the superior clubs were like moths to light and came to see their club completely demolish the smaller, upstart club. After a few heartful laughs at Denver's humiliating defeat, they left the stadium as victors.

However, they had just been deceived! The money that John Elway gained from pimping out his clubs to be shagged by greater clubs he later used in his devious scheme.

He gathered his most loyal poners.

”I want you to get close to the management of the most successful clubs. Don't tell them, you're connected to Denver and then tell them at the right moment that you can lean them money. A loan that doesn't look like much; We want them to be indebted not to gain money from the payback. Then when all clubs are good and indebt we'll pit them against each other. We'll be in control,” John Elway told his imps, the ponies.

That's what happened. The official tale that is propagated in everything from ”history” books, movies, and other types of media, as you know, is that the underdog Denver Broncos was very American in its rise to fame. Don't believe their lies.

America does not exist. America is just another diaspora of the germanic race. If you look closely, you can see the signs. For example, what is the most popular dish in Germany? Bratwurst with bread. And Americans? Hamburgers. Nothing has changed. They are just pretending to be different but their true loyalties will always lay with the führer, Arch Grand Wizard Dragon John Elway. Or as he is really named, Gottfried Libenhaug.

There's more but I don't know how much more time I have. They are no doubt coming for me now. But I will tell you, the whole truth. You probably lifted an eyebrow before, when I mentioned ponies. Here's the real kicker. Gottfried is not from earth. He is an interdimensional shapeshifting alien alicorn princess from the land of horses, Equestria. And they are bringing more and more of their kind; disguised, blending in like regular people, here. Soon, they will have enough of them to conquer the world. They will replace us.

So next time you say praise football, know that somewhere John Elway is laughing wickedly at you as he sips on his apple cider.

[Dr. Mochi was later found with his hands and feet cut off and a new tatoo branded on both of his buttcheeks.]

>>266050
Ben 10 arrived in Equestria through a dimensional door.

”Oi! Gwen you cunt! That gash chucked us into horseland, mate,” he said.

”I know right. I'm mean, oh my gosh I just can't even with all these horses,” Gwen said.

The poners around them smiled and looked at them with innocent curiosity.

”My fuckin' watch is broke man! It only shows horses.” Ben swiped the watch's display and different stallion profiles appeared.

”Oh, really? That's like. So like. Annoying.” She put her hands on her waist so her elbows stuck out like chicken wings and brought her face next to the watch. ”I mean, heeellooooo!”

The watch did not respond.

"Did you eat a fruit that looked like this?!"
Tigger had to ponder, a very un-tigger like thing.
He was waiting for someone. Someone very important.
"Oi brat did you eat it?"
The Hundred Acre Woods still clear in his Tigger mind, full of boundless places to bounce.
"Luffy? Luffy?"
It really was a very long tiggerificaly long wait. Christopher Robin never did come back, and then...
Then...
Something happened...
If Tigger were a silly old bear this is where he would say oh bother. Tigger however is Tigger.
"Luffy, snap out of it. You're scaring me."
Shanks, spoke.
Bouncing bounderific through memory lane, between the blank pages, further and further foward, and now another story began.
One about a boy named Monkey D. Luffy.
A queer tale in an even odder world. Monkey D. Luffy had no tail to bounce with. Not even a good pounce.
All caught up on memories Tigger knew just what to pounce on first.
"Uoh-hu-hu! Oh Narrator!"
"Luffy?"
Yes Tigger?
"Whaths goin' on here?"
Well it appears you are in a bar with pirates.
"Pirates!?"
Hiding under the bar stool looking at all the strange people. The skulls and bones. The scary faces.
That's the current conclave of pirates. They were eat and drinking. Fortunately Tigger you're friends with them.
"I am?"
Getting back out and swaggering ontop of the stool perched. Looking around everything.
"Brat is your head screwed on right?"
Yes Tigger, here let's go back a few pages and re-read what just happened.
"Hey, do yah think he's hearin'..."
The narrator and Tigger got caught up on what is going on. Unfortunately they got a little caught up in the story reading ahead. Terribly sorry about that.
"Uoh-hu-hu-hu! I'm going to be King of the Pirates! Christopher Robin, and everyone should be there if what I read right. Right?"
Right.
"Luffy?"
Pouncing on the red headed man with a strawhat in a very tiger like crouch.
"Nice tah meetcha I'm called Monkey D. Luffy, but the name's Tigger. T, I double Guh Er. Tigger."

A What If crack pot idea that from what I've seen hasn't been made yet.

Necroing this thread because I bring with me some motherfucking content! Some of you with ironclad memories might remember the first bit of all this as something that I wrote for a writing competition some time ago and before you ask, I have made improvements based on what criticism was given, but it was supposed to be part of something much bigger that I have finally brought into the real world! I hope you all enjoy the full story of Sergeant Anonymous!

>Be Anonymous, Adeptus Astartes Brother-Sergeant of the Imperial Fists' Second Company
>Be in the Battle Barge Dorn's First Light, mid-warp
>You and your company are heading back to Holy Terra now that your previous mission is finished
>You'll have to report to the captain about what you and your squad did eventually, but in the meantime, your weapons need cleaning
>No, you're not having a techmarine do it
>At this point, you can do in 10 minutes what it would take him 10 days to do
>No offense to him, he's still the go-to for anything larger than a standard-issue bolter
>You just like having your equipment ready for the next mission as soon as possible, and asap is what happens when you cut out all the extra Mechanicus-required BS from maintenance
>Tech-Heresy, what's that?
>Anyway, you're finishing up reassembling your bolter when you hear an alarm go off
>You also hear what sounds like shit hitting the fan when you get hit by a very distinct feeling of dread
>Did the Gellar Field Generator just fail?
>You put your helmet back on and grab your weapons to go see what just happened
>Judging by the fact that there are a lot more tentacles in this hall than you remember there being, the Gellar Field Generator did indeed fail
>Well, at least things physically can't get worse from here
>You go back inside your quarters to grab your chainsword, then start cutting your way towards the sound of fighting
>It's slow going, given how despite the fleshy appearance of the tentacles, they still have the full durability of the ship's walls supporting them
>Nonetheless, your chainsword's carved through far worse without fail before
>A few tentacles try to grab hold of your arm and restrain your blade, but these warp-formed entities have heavily underestimated your strength
>So, without much effort, you rip your arm free and continue upon your path
>However, your path is soon blocked briefly by something exploding in a burst of warp-fire out of the wall to your left!
>A small blue monstrosity of indeterminate shape begins grumbling at you about something, but you don't have time for this heretical groxshit
>So you shoot it
>Several times, just for good measure
>Back to cutting!
>After several minutes of combatting assorted warpspawns and a major warp-induced headache, you hear a distinctly non-daemonic sound behind you
>"Sargeant, over here! We require your assistance in the hold!"
>Good, some of your men are still around
>You charge over to them to see that they built a barricade in front of an accessway
>That accessway also holds much of the sounds of fighting
>Now that you're here, you turn around and keep watch over what's happening behind you all to make sure no ambushes can happen
"Do either of you know what is going on?"
>"The Gellar field went down and a traitor used the opportunity to open a portal, luckily there were still a few of us around to sound the alarms and build up defenses."
"Any idea of what caused the field's failure yet?"
>"We heard over the vox that a squad took the tech marine down there with a few magos to check, they said they would radio back when they get there."
"Are there any Librarians around to close the portal?"
>"We sent a call, but last we heard they were protecting the Navigator and Astropath."
"Then we are on our own."

>>268038

>The two other marines step aside as you move out of the makeshift bunker and over to a door on the other side of the accessway
>You cautiously open the door, only to have it blown off its hinges by a ball of warpfire
>Across the entire room, all you can see are marines and daemons fighting
>Bloodletters, Horrors, even a few Plaguebearers and Daemonettes
>Most of the marines you see have managed to convert much of the cargo in the hold into a form of cover, but a few are attempting to press forward into the rest of the hold
>You decide that you're more needed in helping to press enemy lines than in helping your own lines remain unpressed
>After all, there's no objective the Imperial Fists can't hold!
>Why else would Holy Terra remain untouched by heretics and xenos?
>Without further ado, you draw your bolter and begin firing into the assaulting hordes of chaos, hoping to open a path to this 'portal'
>Seeing you leading a charge, many more marines begin pressing out of fortifications and aiding with the assault
>Soon enough, this full-scale attack breaks the disorganized enemy lines and gives you an opening to move farther into the hold
>This repeats until you finally make it back to the center of the room, past multiple stacks of crates and many of the slain hordes of the Ruinous Powers
>Once you get there, you see it
>An unmistakable portal, with a dead marine next to it and daemons pouring out of it
>Emperor save us
>You begin thinking to yourself about a way to deal with this problem while the rest of your squad and everyone else nearby begin setting up proper defenses around it
>The hordes are still pouring through while this happens, but it all grows easier to keep at bay as time goes on
>This slight reprieve even gives you an opportunity to look at the body of the fallen marine from afar
>Blood-soaked mono-knife in hand, a hydra tattooed onto the side of his head
>Fucking Alpha Legion!
>Your thoughts are briefly interrupted by some commotion from the other side of the portal
>It seems the first greater daemon has arrived and threatens to breach your circle
>This portal needs to be closed before any more get through!
>You find someone with a voxcaster and get his attention
"You! If you haven't already, send for a librarian!"
>"I already have, sir; nothing but static came back!"
>Then the battle is already lost
>Without a psyker to close this portal, it will keep spitting out bigger and bigger daemons until the entire ship is overrun
>Perhaps there is another solution, but it will take time to think of
>Time you may not have
>Regardless, you have to try
>Eventually the greater daemon is felled, but it is replaced by two more as soon as it falls
>Not all is bad though, as you've just gotten an idea!
>If one traitor sacrificed himself to open this portal, maybe one brother can sacrifice himself to close it?
>That may be, but you shall not allow any but yourself to make this sacrifice
>If your guess is wrong, none should bear the consequences but you
>You reach into the ammo crate next to you, grab out as many bolt rounds as you can reasonably carry along with a krak grenade, and steel yourself for what comes next
>Without any warning, you leap over what's left of the barrier surrounding the portal, charge past the two greater daemons, and surprise everything in the room by leaping inside the portal
>Whatever steeling you did, it certainly didn't prepare you for this
>You're instantly hit with a wave of pain and fatigue as the raw energy of the warp begins gnawing at your psyche
>Despite this, you stay upright and see many things before you
>The beginning of the universe, the end of time, the faces of at least two of the four chaos gods, and something that looks important
>Keeping hold of every ounce of willpower you can, you shut out all the voices now screaming at you from inside your head and run over to the important-looking thing
>As you get closer, you feel this mental assault increase in power
>Still, you charge boldly forward to this object with all your might and courage, shooting or cutting down anything that gets too close
>When you finally reach the base of this object, you can see that it's some sort of a pylon directing energy into the portal
>As you begin falling from consciousness, you use the last of your strength to arm the krak
>With the destruction of this pylon hopefully secured, you finally allow yourself to drift
>The last thing you remember is a deafening explosion being cut short, followed by all the pent-up warp energy being released in a blinding flash
>. . .

>>268039
And from here, it's all new!

>When you finally come to, the first thing you notice is that the mental pressure that was present is now gone
>The second thing you notice is that you're lying in the middle of a forest
>If this is what The Emperor's Peace is, then you're not complaining
>It's just not what you'd expected
>Sure, it's peaceful, but shouldn't there be more good brothers and servants to The Imperium here?
>Come to think of it, there are no signs of civilization anywhere
>Also, if you're dead, then why do you still have all your armor and weapons?
>All these questions and more, but answers lacking in all fields
>A good way to find a few answers may be to take a walk and establish your surroundings, though
>You take a cursory glance at your hud to see if you can learn anything from any nearby imperial forces, but what you see just confuses you even more
>No signal
>Not a lack of imperial signals, a complete lack of any broadcasting equipment near enough to you to send a proper message
>If you're not dead, then it could very well take a long time before anyone can find you
>This could very well just be a feral world, but even those usually have ships passing by once every few years
>If you have to wait, you're doing it in the only way you know how
>fortifying the shit out of a position and holding it until someone comes to relieve you
>You just so happened to get dropped in a forest too, so you have no shortage of usable materials
>However, without any proper logging equipment, you're forced to use your chainsword to do the brunt of the woodcutting
>The blade's built to handle ceramite though, what problems would it have with wood?
>Probably more than what common sense would dictate, but that can be worried about later
>Luckily, later never comes and you finish up cutting apart all the trees you need to to make a passable bunker
>After you've got this basic camp set up for yourself, you decide that it's time to see what's around you in terms of other resources
>Now, the things that you're going to need to keep yourself moving are food and water
>Those should be simple enough to find, you just have to find out if what you find is something that can keep you alive
>Sure, you could go the laziest route and just eat the dirt off the ground, but that's not optimal in the slightest
>Nah, you're going to get some actual food
>You step out of your wooden fortress to go walk around, making sure to leave a waypoint on your hud to come back to just in case
>Now, the hunting begins
>Problem is, you're not exactly the stealthiest of guys around here with all the bright yellow
>Not much of a problem if you catch the eye of a predator, unless they're all somehow immune to both blades and bullets
>That, or just smart enough to run away when they see you
>Thinking about what may happen won't help you, though
>Not when dealing with wild animals, at least
>You walk around for a decent while before finding a pond
>This could be a decent source of fresh water, assuming you can properly clean it
>As you're marking down another waypoint though, a large animal springs out of the water at you
>You sidestep it easily and retrieve your combat knife
>No need to waste your chainsword on an easy kill
>Wasting no more time, you deftly sink the knife up to its hilt into the creature's skull and kill it instantly
>You then pick up and drag the (what you assume to be) large aquatic lizard by its tail back towards your fort
>Some movement catches your eye on the way back and you instinctively drop the creature and draw your bolter
>You rush over towards it, but whatever it was was gone by the time you reached where you saw it
>As long as it doesn't bother you, you should be able to let it go
>Now you just need some fire to cook your dinner...

>Be Twilight
>Zecora informed you a few days ago of a new monster stalking the Everfree
>Several others have as well, with varying experiences to tell of
>Some ponies saw it but it didn't see them, others were nearly killed by it
>Some ponies say they saw it with a massive blade, others say they saw it using something to cast spells that blew holes in the trees around them
>The only consistent description is that it's a gargantuan yellow biped of steel and fury
>Luckily, Zecora only encountered it once after it had apparently killed a rockodile
>Still, this thing has been sighted closer and closer to the edge of the forest and you fear what might happen if it decides to attack Ponyville
>How do you deal with it, though?
>Monster wrangling isn't something you do
>Not to mention that your friends might not be of much help against it, given what you've heard
>Hmmm....
>Maybe the guard could help?
>You begin drafting a letter to Celestia and call for Spike when it's done
>He sends it in a puff of fire
>Now all you have to do is wait
>A little while later, you get a response
>Celestia has authorized you to receive a squad of guardsponies, and they should arrive in a few days!
>Good, this monster should be dealt with soon

>>268040

>Be Anonymous
>You've spent a long time in this forest, but you haven't seen anything that would tell you what planet you're on
>You're definitely not dead either, otherwise you likely would've seen someone by now
>Not for lack of looking though, you've been patrolling farther and farther from your base to try to find signs of civilization
>So far, the only thing you've found is what looks like a destroyed castle from a feudal world
>It was completely abandoned though, surprise surprise
>You've definitely encountered multiple varieties of xenos, though
>Nothing that you would recognize as anything too threatening, but xenos all the same
>The most common so far have been these four-legged creatures with hooves, but none of them stuck around for long after receiving a warning shot
>Today though, some newcomers to your forest have shown up!
>More of those four-legged xenos, this time with a crude set of armor
>They're still far off from what your hud can tell you in its signal-limited state, but so far your spot inside your bunker leaves you relatively hidden from them
>Good thing you've done even more fortifying in your free time, their limited defenses shouldn't hamper your instruments in the slightest!
>One thing that surprises you somewhat is that one of the xenos unfurls a pair of wings and flies up over the canopy of trees
>A flier
>It still shouldn't be able to handle more than a single bolt, but it will definitely be able to dodge one easier
>You'll have to aim carefully
>Account for wind, judge their flight path, estimate drop over the distance...
>BLAM
>...
>Solid hit, the flier has its torso liquefied by the bolt and its remains fall to the floor!
>The others are alerted by the noise though, and then shortly hit by the blood shower and the remains of their comrade
>In response to this, one of the other xenos uses a protrusion on its head to summon a wall and shield the group from anything in your direction
>Heh, they've just activated your trap card!
>Now that all their focus is on you, many of your traps are set off and begin ticking as they advance
>After another few seconds, some trees begin falling around them
>This just spooks them more, and another one of them with that same protrusion begins halting some of your traps from fully springing
>None of the big ones, but enough that the others have a path towards you again
>They then make the foolish decision to charge your bunker, which they've no-doubt seen by now
>Even more traps!
>Pitfalls, tiger pits, tripwires, et cetera!
>This catches a few more of them, but a few still make it near enough to your base to begin concerning you
>You can also begin hearing what some of them are saying
>"... What in tartarus are we up against? It killed Raptor in an instant, it's built enough traps to get Lance and Hal, and the shield captain's probably been crushed behind us!"
>"I'm not sure, but we still have orders. If we don't stop this thing, then Ponyville's population is still at risk."
>Well, they've made it this far
>You decide to grace them with the sight of one of the Emperor's Angels
>You step out of your bunker and stand before them, chainsword in one hand and bolter in the other
"I am Sergeant Anonymous of the Imperial Fists Space Marine Chapter. You xenos will surrender to me, or I will use force to find a communications array strong enough to contact my brothers myself. Do you understand?"
>The one without a protrusion speaks first
>"Sorry buddy, we aren't letting you terrorize this forest any more. Either you're coming with us alive, or in a body-"
>You decide to interrupt him with a bolt to the head
>Suffer not the xenos to live!
>You then turn to the other one and stare it down through the lenses of your helmet
>You see it flinch back a bit, but it soon readies itself again and even creates a colored aura around the protrusion
>Oh well, you still have enough bolts to go around!
>*click*
>Oh
>Chainsword it is!
>You begin running towards the xenos, blade revving
>It's still a bit of a distance away, so it takes you a moment to get there
>Well, it would have if for some reason you didn't immediately stop moving
>Are these creatures warp-sensitive?
>Well, you'd like to figure that out, but it seems that for some reason, you're going unconscious again!
>. . .

>>268041
I'll drop more tomorrow, but it's late as shit here and I shouldn't be going to bed at 4 in the morning like I have been. Hope you all like it and want to see more, and if you don't, too bad. As always, like, dislike, tell me how I suck massive dicks and should kill myself or something, or just tell me calmly what I need to improve on. Good night!

>>268042
Ah, crickets. Oh well, better for nobody to see my shame.

>When you awake again, you find yourself in a bright room with a very sterile look to it
>You also notice a distinct lack of armor or weapons on you
>It's clear that you underestimated their craftiness and abilities, now you're paying the price
>Once you finish your musings to yourself, you notice another one of those xenos staring at you from across the room
>Maybe you could take it as a hostage and get yourself some leverage?
>It's certainly scrawnier than the ones you dealt with back in that forest, but it has both a set of wings and one of those other organs on its forehead
>Not that it's especially noticeable, behind the veil of violet covering a decent part of the xenos's face
>The distance seems to be short enough, perhaps you could take it by surprise before it can retaliate?
>Well, it's worth a shot
>From your position on the ground, you spring forward at the creature but are immediately restrained by another unseen emanence, the only telling detail being a magenta glow around you and its forehead
>Hm, these creatures do seem to have some sort of psychic ability...
>They probably are psykers, at least the ones with the protrusions
>After a moment of further suspension before the creature, you're brought back to your previous position on the floor
>You attempt to move again, but find yourself still thoroughly restrained
>Maybe if you just try to move one limb?
>Nope, not even
>Well, it looks like you're stuck here for now
>"Are you ready to cooperate now?"
>Time to channel your primarch as best you can and give an answer worthy of him
"No."
>"Then I'll just keep you there for as long as it takes."
>You close your eyes and begin to meditate, seeing as it's the only thing you can do to pass time in your current state
>Some time goes by before the xenos tries to talk to you again
>"How about now?"
"No."
>"Do you have a particular reason why, or do you just not want to?"
>You open your eyes and stare the xenos down from your position as best you can
"I will not divulge the secrets of Mankind to any foul xenos races. No amount of torture or even asking nicely will make me."
>The xenos sighs to itself before speaking again
>"Let's start over, then. My name is Twilight Sparkle, what's yours?"
>You simply ignore the xenos and resume your meditations
>Another time goes by before it lets out an exasperated sigh and speaks again
>"Then it looks like we're doing this the hard way."
>You open your eyes again and see the xenos walking towards you
>You attempt to move away, but you're still restrained
>Struggling seems to be about all you can do right now though, so fuck it
>You keep struggling against the psychic restraints placed upon you all the way up to the point where the xenos finally reaches you and puts its protrusion to your forehead
>It's at this point that you begin feeling mental pressure again, but differently this time
>Instead of feeling like your head's going to pop, you feel your head get a bit lighter
>Not for very long though, as the feeling subsides when the xenos removes itself from your presence
>What did it just do?
>You make a quick runthrough of all your memories and thoughts, only to find no disturbances
>Well, whatever happened, the xenos seems to be quite surprised by the result
>Did you somehow fend off a psychic attack?
>Humanity wins again, then
>Oh, wait
>It's speaking again
>"Oh my... Starswirl's beard, this is a lot! I'm terribly sorry, but I'm going to have to cut things off here."
>You begin staring at the creature again, not giving it a response other than as steely a glare as you can muster
>The xenos then leaves the room as another one with a similar protrusion enters and ignites it
>Oh, hey, that thing's happening again!
>This is getting annoying...
>. . .

>>268136

>Be Twilight again
>The amount of cursed knowledge that has been copied into your mind from that human (if he could even be called that!) is certainly concerning
>The thought of not just a planet, but millions of them, a literal galaxy at war for the better part of ten milennia...
>Not to mention everything out there that's fighting!
>A species of animal-fungus hybrids that do nothing but fight, a race of human-like creatures that are so much more advanced fighting their way back from the brink of extinction, insectoid ravagers that consume entire planets within a matter of weeks, and the list goes on!
>You need to tell all of this to Princess Celestia yesterday!
>Good thing you're already running down the hall to her office, then
>A few more passes through various twists, turns and assorted passages, you make it and throw open the door
"Princess, I bring urgent news regarding the creature that was found in the Everfree!"
>Celestia finishes getting over the surprise of your entry and responds after moving a large stack of papers away from the middle of her desk
>"Go on."
>You close the door behind you and cast a spell of sound blockage within the room to prevent any eavesdropping, just to make sure no panics happen
>"Is that really necessary for what you have to tell me?"
"Believe me, it is. I hope you don't have anything coming soon either, because there's a lot for me to say."
>"Then it seems there's no time to waste here. Please inform me as best you can."
"Okay, so apparently that thing is a human. Not just any human, but a genetically modified human built specifically to fight in a multi-milennium long war against numerous alien factions and even some other factions of enemy humans, many of which seem to be able to call upon supernatural entities to aid them in battle. Somehow, this human got here through some of those supernatural means. That means that any of those other factions, many of which use some variety of those means for faster-than-light travel, to follow him here. To make a very long story very short, we have a big problem."
>Celestia sits in stunned silence for longer than is comfortable before finally responding
>"This stays between us. I'll have a research team try to understand his armor and weapons to see if we can reproduce them, and if we can, they'll be integrated into the country's armory. I'll entrust you with supervising this human in the meantime, maybe something more can be gained from him that we aren't aware of yet."
"Understood, I'll get right to work on integrating him and attempt to find out anything more when he's ready to tell me."
>"Good, we haven't a moment to waste on this; I'll get that research team put together immediately, and I suggest you get him back to your castle quickly as well. Please forward me any relevant information as you acquire it too, and farewell for now."
>With that, Celestia stands up and exits the room, popping the bubble of silence in the process
>Well, you should probably get Anonymous home
>He certainly won't be happy when he wakes up again, but it'll hopefully be manageable like today

>>268137

>Be Anonymous again
>That purple xenos put you under again, didn't it?
>Given your throbbing headache and change of locales, that's clearly the case
>Also, your change of company
>That violet xenos is still with you, but this time it's joined by four others
>One pink, one orange, one blue with a multicolored patch of fur, and one white with a carefully tended patch of indigo fur
>You again notice the violet one exuding that same magenta aura, and you assume that you're still restrained
>One failed attempt to rub your temples later, your suspicions are confirmed
>The violet one speaks up first again
>"Sorry for keeping you out for so long, I wanted to make sure you got here without any problems. How are you feeling?"
>These xenos...
>In what world should they be showing you, a known combatant and threat to their survival, any degree of mercy?
>Confusion aside, you're still alive and they're attempting to get close to you, so they clearly want something
"What do you want?"
>"I'm... sorry?"
"What do you want with me? You have stripped me of my armor and weapons, yet you keep me alive. I resist your attempts at interrogation, yet I am not disposed of. It is clear that you still desire something from me, so what is it?"
>The xenos recoils a bit, but soon resumes its stance and continues
>"What I want from you is for you to integrate into our world until your comrades arrive to rescue you. Once that happens, I want you to ensure that all of us on this planet won't be pulled into the galactic war you're supposed to be fighting right now."
"So you did take something from my mind when we last met."
>Again, the xenos recoils
>However, it returns to its position quicker than before and continues
>"Yes, I did. You weren't being cooperative, so I made sure that I got what was needed anyway. That's also part of why you're still alive, since you'll no doubt ask. I learned from what you know that we're woefully unprepared for what you deal with daily, so I was hoping you'd aid us in preparing."
>The other four xenos seem to be taken aback by this knowledge themselves, but you don't concern yourself with it
>The violet one begins to speak again and you act like you're paying attention, but you actually begin asking the Emperor for guidance
>Should you aid them, or will that only lead to more conflict down the line?
>May the Emperor guide you properly
>"... And that's everything that we're going to do today, got it?"
"I will be awaiting the guidance of my Emperor. What you do is up to you."
>"I take it you weren't listening then, so I'll repeat it for you: We're bringing you on a tour of this town to show you that this world is worth being a part of while you're here. Hopefully that'll also stop you from trying to kill more ponies too. After that, I'll help you get settled in here for your stay. Understand?"
"I do not believe that I am in any position to deny this despite my wish to do so, so I will begrudgingly agree."
>"It's a start! Now I'll just ease up on your mobility restraints, and we can go!"
>You attempt to move your arm again to find that it responds to your command this time
>Could you make a move against them in time, escape and find your equipment before retreating back to your bunker?
>Probably not
>In order to discern the location of your equipment, you'll likely need the violet one to be conscious
>If it is conscious, then it will be fully capable of restraining you
>All in all, not the best of ideas
>So you will continue following them until you're presented with a proper opportunity to free yourself
>You use your regained mobility to ease yourself up from your prone position to find that you were placed upon a bed that is significantly too small for you
>From there, you follow the xenos through a myriad of passages and eventually out a door that's actually large enough for you
>Oh, that's the front door
>And this is a castle
>A castle that appears to be made out of some crystalline matrix in the shape of a tree
>A bad choice for construction, if the crystal fractures under stress then the entire building's liable to come apart
>Not to mention how bad of an idea it is to have a building of such magnitude's weight supported by a base such as this without any additional supports to keep it stable
>The castle back in the forest was of a far better design
>One of the xenos is talking now
>It's the blue one
>"Twilight, are you sure this thing is okay to take into town? It almost killed a lot of ponies and completely tore apart an entire squad of guards!"
>The violet one responds quickly and assuredly
>"Don't worry Rainbow, everything's still under control. If he tries anything, all I have to do is reactivate the binding sigil on his chest."
>You look down at yourself and notice that not only is there a magenta mark glowing on your chest, but that you're completely without clothing
>So they wish to break your pride, too...
>You will not give them the satisfaction!
>From there, you're dragged around the town you're in to see what there is around
>However, all you can see is the abundance of flammable materials making up the town
>All these buildings seem to be of wooden framework and with straw roofs!
>If one building catches fire, then the entire town is done for!
>These xenos don't need protecting from the terrors of the Milky Way, they need protection from bad architectural practices!
>They clearly have the ability to harvest stone, given its use in the roads and that castle in the forest, why not make use of its structural stability here?
>A few more assorted nitpicks later, you realize that they've lead you through the entire town and back with you catching none of it
>These xenos will not be able to brainwash you, of that you are assured
>"So, how did you enjoy the tour?"

>>268138

"Your town's architecture is as primitive as it is backwards. That castle in the forest was a far better structure and has obviously withstood the test of time, unlike these flimsy buildings and that unsound crystalline fortress. I'm not even going to go into detail about the myriad of problems surrounding the idea of constructing an entire building out of confectionery."
>The xenos all give varying reactions from confusion to disgust with the orange one giving you a glare somewhere between insult and admiration
>After a few more moments pass, that same orange one decides to break the silence
>"An' what do y'all reckon we shoulda' used instead?"
"Stone or ceramics. Both are simple to produce and are far less prone to rot and combustion than wood and straw. Should you have access to concrete or steel, use those. Should you even have access to adamantium or ferrocrete, use those instead."
>"Now what in tarnation are those last two?"
"Adamantium is a metallic alloy of great strength and ferrocrete is quite similar to concrete, but with added ceramic and metallic elements that serve to strengthen the final product."
>The orange one then takes a moment of silence before seemingly coming to terms with what you've told it
>"I don't reckon you'd know how to make either of those, would ya?"
>You wouldn't divulge the secrets of mankind even if you knew what they were
"I am not a member of the mechanicus, I am not knowledgeable of their secrets."
>It's at this point that the white xenos pulls the violet one aside
>"Twilight, darling, are you sure that this... Creature... Will assimilate?"
>"Rarity, it's fine. It'll happen eventually, we just have to give it time. Not all redemptions happen as fast as Discord's, after all."
>The violet one then has a flash of inspiration cross its face, from what you can tell
>"That just gave me an idea! Everypony, we're going to Fluttershy's house!"
>The five xenos begin leading you around town again, but this time in a different direction
>Eventually, the buildings thin out to the point that you can see parts of the forest surrounding the town
>Could this be the forest you appeared in?
>You're not entirely sure, but that may be worth investigating when you have the time later
>As you draw closer though, you notice that you aren't being lead towards the forest
>You're being lead towards a very well camouflaged building somewhat near the forest's edge
Upon further inspection, you find that it isn't actually a building, rather a hollowed-out tree
>Quite resourceful, you have to admit
>While the structure suffers from many of the same problems that the town at large does, it more than makes up for it with both the ability to expand itself over time and naturally blend into the landscape it's situated within
>The one thing you'd change about this building is the size of the doors, but you'd change that aspect of every building in this town
>You'd rather not bend over every time you enter one
>All praises and complaints aside, this tree is certainly where you were heading as the xenos accompanying you stop in front of its small door and knock
>After a moment, a sixth xenos, this one being a shade of yellow with pink hair, opens the door
>This xenos then express some minor surprise at the number of visitors it has, particularly you among them, before speaking in a hushed manner
>"Um... I'm sorry, I'm not able to take visitors right now... I'm sure this is important, but I'm already entertaining company and-"
>"Is it Discord?"
>"Y-yes. I'm really sorry, again, but this is the time I've set aside for him this week, so I'd like to get back to it, if that isn't too much of a bother."
>"That's actually the reason we're here, funnily enough. Can Discord come out and show our guest here that it isn't so bad being friends with us?"
>The yellow one's surprise returns, this time with a look of understanding replacing it
>"Okay, let me go ask him. Be back in a moment."
>The yellow one then shuts the door again, retreating back into its home while the rest of the xenos wait outside with you
>You take the moment of quiet to sit down and resume your meditations, hoping to find a nugget of the Emperor's wisdom now resting within your mind
>A small time passes and your search turns up nothing, but you do hear the door open once again
>You turn your attention towards it as you return to a standing position and observe the yellow xenos exiting the structure entirely
>Another moment passes before another being appears in front of all of you, a being which you can only describe as downright heretical
>A cruel amalgamation of many different beasts appears before you all in a cloud of multicolored particles
>This abomination seems to ilicit no reactions from all of the xenos surrounding you, but you know exactly what needs to be done
>This warpspawn must be banished back to the hellish realm from whence it came!
>You charge it immediately before any of those around you have time to react and tackle it to the floor
>You may lack your armor and weapons, but your superhuman stature and abilities make you an effective fighter even without them!
>You're about to throw a punch into the fiend's face before you're restrained within that magenta aura again
>It's around this time that the others begin catching up to your actions as well, with gasps of varying audibility
>After another moment, you're somehow teleported off the daemon in another flash of magenta
>These xenos are in league with the ruinous powers, how utterly surprising...

>>268139

>"Anonymous, that is NOT how we treat others around here!"
"You seem to be either unaware or downright malicious in intent, as that beast is clearly an agent of chaos which deserves no less than the full fury of the Imperium brought down upon it."
>"Discord may be chaotic, but he's definitely not one of the demons you're used to fighting. In fact, he's not even a demon!"
"This 'Discord' reeks of chaos influence. Not only does it have psychic abilities as evidenced by its use of teleportation, but it also bears uncanny resemblance to many of the daemonic opponents I have faced in my centuries of life."
>"I will concede on that point, but he's been drained entirely of his magic at one point with no detriment to his health beyond the inability to cast spells. From what I understand, if one of your demons was to have that same treatment applied to them, they would simply perish and then disappear. He's not a demon."
"If you will not believe that he is a daemon, then you truly are lost to the ruinous powers."
>The violet xenos doesn't reply this time, instead walking up to you and placing the tip of her protrusion against your forehead again
>Ah, yes
>The execution you have been waiting for
>May the Emperor's peace find you at last!
>Except it's not, instead you feel more psychic pressure and strain being put on your mind
>You also begin feeling some new memories being placed inside your mind
>They are trying to corrupt you from within?
>This will not stand!
>You begin struggling against your psionic restraints again, yet to no avail
>However, a moment later, the violet xenos begins backtracking to where she was standing before
>"If you won't believe my words, then I guess you'll just have to see it all firsthoof from my own memories."
"I will not fall for your tricks, xenos witch."
>The violet xenos begins displaying frustration at your continued resistance, finally
>"What do I have to do to prove to you that this isn't a trick?"
"Release me."
>"I'm not releasing you unless you promise to look at the memories before doing anything else."
"And how do I know that there aren't any chaotic spells within those memories?"
>"Because everything I know about chaos has come from your memories."
"And how would I know this?"
>"Look at the ponies around you! They're all struggling to understand what we're even arguing about right now, so why would I know any more than them other than from the fact that I pulled that information directly out of your head?"
>That is a fair point
>It also has yet to divulge any information that you didn't already know regarding daemons, so that's another point to it
>You may have to go against your better judgement here
>After some more time thinking about this and mainly trying to find a way out of this since these xenos seem highly adverse to killing you, you come to that same conclusion
"Fine. I agree to your terms, now release me."
>The violet xenos's frustration melts away and is replaced by a warm smile as the aura fades from around you
>Now it seems to be your turn to uphold the deal
>You sort through your mind and come across many memories that aren't yours, all of them featuring the warpspawn by the name of Discord
>Let's see, the first set of memories involve the being unsealing itself from stone and immediately casting the six xenos around you into a series of trials for its own entertainment, with them eventually passing them and using some ritual to rebind the creature within stone
>Next, they unbind the creature again at the behest of a xenos of higher stature, a white one with more technicolor hair and having both exceptionally sized wings and a protrusion
>The six xenos then spend some time working to bring the daemon into submission and change its mindset to one of theirs, with relative success
>The next memory features the violet xenos witnessing the psionic power being pulled from the daemon by a different xenos, one with six limbs and the upper body of a primate on top of a body similar to the other xenos
>The daemon then acknowledges the bond between it and the violet xenos with a trinket that leads the six xenos to another ritual to stop the larger xenos
>From there, things seem to drift more and more into the mundane until eventually you reach a situation much like today
>That seems to be everything of note
"I have reviewed the memories, and while I remain distrustful of this situation, I will withhold my fury until such a time when it is both necessary and deserved."
>"It's a start. Are you at least willing to apologize to Discord?"
"No."
>"Any particular reason why not?"
"No."
>The violet xenos then sighs before continuing
>"I'd rather you did, but I guess I can't make you..."
>It then stands up and walks back over to the daemon, who has been helped up off the ground by the yellow xenos by now
>"Sorry about that, he's... He's got some hangups that still need to be worked on, but we were hoping you'd be able to help convince him to be... More cooperative, for lack of a better term."
>The daemon responds, glaring at you the whole time
>"I would've been HAPPY to, had I not been tackled so rudely without even an apology. The nerve of some people!"
>The violet xenos sighs again and bows its head before capitulating
>"I understand. I'll work on that with him, and hopefully by then he'll be more open to you."
>With that, the xenos that brought you here begin to lead you back to the crystalline castle you started from again

>>268140

>When you arrive there, all of them save for the violet one clear out
>It then opens the door for you again, before directing you inside
>Once you both are in, it begins talking
>"What am I going to do with you..."
"I am not sure what you are going to do with me. That is not for me to decide."
>"I figured, but if you have any ideas, I'm open to hearing them."
"Let me continue doing what I would've been doing had I not been interrupted by the series of events that placed me here."
>"And what would that be?"
"My daily routine as an instrument of the Imperial War Machine. If I am to continue to remain at peak performance in preparation for my brothers' arrival, I must keep my body and mind at peak performance."
>"You know what, sure. Just don't kill any more ponies and that'll be fine. Also, don't kill Spike. Spike's my assistant, he's a purple and green baby dragon and will stay out of your way if you just tell him to, so there's no need to do anything rash with him either. Okay?"
"Sure."
>"Alright, good. So... I'll leave you to do... whatever it is you're supposed to do for all that."
>Seeing as the conversation's over, you leave the room to find a calm place to do your daily routines

>Be Discord
>You've gone home to your own personal pocket dimension after unceremoniously being tackled by that weird hairless ape
>At least now you can go relax in one of your inverted chairs and watch your entropeonies repeatedly bloom and close to help ease your anger
>...Nope, this isn't working
>He didn't even apologize!
>Hopefully he has better manners the next time you two meet, which is hopefully never
>However, he did bring some interesting things to your attention while he was arguing with Twilight
>Apparently, you're not the only chaotic entity out there
>Maybe these other chaotic entities could help you get more lulz?
>Maybe not too, but that jerk was acting like they're the worst things since the Dewdrop Decimal System so they can't be that bad
>Maybe, but you're probably not going to find out since they're all trapped in wherever that jerk came from
>Maybe we aren't as trapped as you think. Maybe we've learned about the world you live in from that servant of the Anathema crossing into it. All possibilities are possible, so you can't rule out anything.
>Hm?
>Who is this?
>How are you talking inside my head?
>Maybe I'm one of those powers you seek, maybe I'm simply another traveler riding the currents of the warp, maybe I'm some lesser being trying to sucker somebody out of their power. Except that last one, I'm anything but lesser.
>You still haven't answered any of my questions.
>But what are questions, really? Mere queries, seeking responses that lead exactly to where you think they should, or open pages where anyone can write any answer regardless of how true or false it is. Who I am does not matter, nor how I am doing this. What does matter is what you are willing to exchange for some of that help you want, especially to deal with that pesky human.
>I still have no guarantees that you even have this power to give me!
>Then you just have to take a gamble. Simply throw the dice and let the Architect of Fate decide!
>That's not exactly a good idea, you know that, right?
>I know a great many things, including that you're being awfully predictable for a supposed being of chaos. Where's your sense of adventure? All that time with those pastel equines has left you soggy, nothing like the crispness of the power you could have.
>Predictable? Soggy? How dare you!
>I'm only stating the facts. It's up to you to change that, not me.
>You know what? Fine. I'll take that deal of yours on one condition.
>Hmmmmm?
>Tell me your name.
>Oooh, already something unpredictable! Well, since you asked so nicely, I'll tell you one of my names since telling you all ten thousand would leave us here for weeks; my name is Tzeentch.
>Alright then, Tzeentch, give me the power to retake my former position as a god of chaos!
>I can't give it to you yet, but I can tell you exactly what you need to do for me to give it to you.
>Why can't you give it to me now?
>Aren't you supposed to be powerful?
>Do not doubt my power for even a moment, I simply need to know whether you are willing enough to claim it. Gotta have standards, after all.
>Fine, what do I need to do?
>First, go get a pen and paper because this is going to be a laundry list. Or will it be a grocery list? Or maybe even a to-do list!

>>268141

=A week later=

>Be Twilight
>Anonymous hasn't been doing much since you agreed to let him keep himself maintained
>He hasn't even been expanding his horizons, or even training his mind from what you can tell
>All he does is eat, sleep, sit around and work out!
>What's even worse is that he hasn't even tried to be friendly with you
>He just keeps calling you a 'zeenoss' and brushing you off
>It wasn't bothering you at first, but after a wile the astonishing lack of effort he's putting into assimilating is just getting tiresome
>Time to see if you can change that at all!
>Now let's see, where is he?
>You'd honestly be surprised if he isn't in one of the three rooms he's usually in
>Either he's eating three meals' worth of food in the kitchen, sitting in his room, or moving shelves in the library
>Not even looking at any of the books, just pushing or pulling shelves in various directions!
>At least he puts them back when he's done, but it's still irritating
>And seeing as you don't hear heavy objects being moved around or sense the pantry being raided, you assume he's in his room
>You teleport up there to check for yourself, and sure enough
>He's just sitting there with his eyes closed in the middle of the floor
"You know, when I said that you could keep doing whatever it is that you normally do, I didn't expect that that would mean sitting around the castle, eating everything, and moving the contents of my library."
>"What you believe to be meaningless tasks, sloth, and simple indulgence is actually the closest I can get to my normal routine. What you believe is 'sitting around' is meditation, to keep my mind honed. The rearranging of your literature is the best I can manage for a full-body workout. Finally, my body requires a caloric intake much greater than a regular human's to be maintained, especially when I am doing the other work required to maintain it."
>Huh
"Still, I think it might be a good idea for you to get outside and do something else. I'm sure you can do all that while doing something more productive than pushing the same shelves around the same room day after day."
>"You are correct."
>So he says, yet he doesn't even open his eyes
"So... Will you?"
>"I will finish my meditations first. Speak to me in a few minutes."
>You sigh and sink to the ground next to him, deciding it would be more effort to leave the room and come back over just waiting
>You wait a minute or so, watching the large, muscular form before you sit nearly motionless
>At some points, you can barely even tell he's breathing
>As you observe him further, you begin to many subtle things about his activity, or lack thereof
>Flawless posture, despite all muscles being seemingly relaxed
>The complete lack of all motion that isn't directly necessary to life
>Eventually, you even decide to take a small peek inside of his mind
>You don't even find any conscious thought happening, yet somehow an insane amount of concentration is present anyway
>"If you are going to interrupt, then I must ask you to leave."
>Even that little?
>You quickly pull yourself away from Anonymous, not wishing to disturb him further
>However, you don't completely leave
>You still wish to observe, if only to find any other noteworthy things about this process
>Eventually, after another minute of observing, you decide to try to emulate him
>Obviously not in form, your biology isn't structured for the same upright posture
>Rather, a modified position where you hope to achieve a similar effect
>First, you move yourself into a comfortable sitting position (while being as quiet as you can, of course)
>Next, you close your own eyes and begin controlling your own breathing
>...
>.....
>.......
>This isn't working, you're still fidgeting like mad
>If anything, this has only made you more aware of how much you shift even while "staying still"
>No, this isn't something you could just hope to accomplish in one sitting
>He's obviously been doing this for quite a long time
>Well, nothing left to do other than wait then
>You continue to sit in silence for another few minutes, occasionally casting glances at the human before you in between glances around the room
>Finally, you hear something other than your own heartbeat
>A long, drawn out inhale followed by an exhale of a similar length and intensity
>"I have finished, now we may go."
>Without another word, the form before you begins moving again
>After another second, both of you are back up and standing
>"Now, where are we going?"
>You think on it for a moment while Anonymous stares down at you before getting an idea
"Applejack's in the middle of harvest season right now, I'm sure she wouldn't mind some help getting all the apples put away."
>"And which xenos is this 'Apple Jack?'"
>He hasn't even learned any names yet!
"She's got orange fur and a cream mane?"
>"Ah, the orange one."
"Just a quick question, do you even know my name?"
>"No."
>Even after you introduced yourself!
"Would you use it if I told you?"
>"No."
"... Why not?"
>"Because you are xenos. Until you are proved beyond a reasonable doubt to be a worthy ally to the Imperium, I shall continue keeping mental distance to ensure that my own combat effectiveness does not drop in the event of war."
>Does he only think about war?
>It's almost like he's had the ability to think about literally anything else hardwired out of his brain!
>Well, this can still be worked with
>At least he said that it's possible that you two can make it to better terms, so long as that Imperium judges your species worthy
>And if not...
>You'd rather not think about the nuggets of information on that subject that you've seen
"Well, let's get going!"

>>268142

>You trot out of the room with Anonymous following behind, all the way down to the front door and out into the town
>From there, you lead him through town all the way to Applejack's orchard where you can already hear her hard at work
>You tell Anonymous to wait for a minute, to which you get no response, before teleporting over to Applejack
"Hey, how's it going?"
>The mare gives the tree she's standing in front of a quick kick before replying
>"Not bad. Harvest's goin' fine, if a bit behind schedule. You bring that feller over to help or just to stare at the sky?"
>You follow her gaze back to the human under your care to find that he is, in fact, just staring upwards
"Yeah, I did. I'll go bring him over and you can tell him what to do."
>So, you teleport back over
"Okay, Applejack's okay with you helping out! She'll be telling you what to do, but it'll probably be pretty simple, so..."
>Anonymous looks back to you and nods before making his own way over to the trees, you following close behind
>"I have been informed that you require aid. What with?"
>"If yer askin' what I need ya to do, how 'bout ya start by takin' these baskets over ta that barn? An' while yer there, bring a few empty ones back over, please."
>Applejack first jestures to the baskets of apples fresh off the tree she kicked, then over to, well, a barn nearby
>Anonymous remains silent, but he still begins his task
>He grabs the handles of two different baskets, brings both of them off the ground, and then carries them over to the barn with the same ease that he had on the trip here
>Not to be outdone though, you grab a pair of baskets in your telekinetic aura and carry them over to the barn too
>However, you find yourself having to jog to even keep Anon's pace
>After a few more trees and a few more trips, it's clear that Anonymous doesn't need your help in doing any of this
>So, you decide to stick near Applejack and help her with collection instead!
>Things are getting a bit quiet though, so why not strike up a chat in the meantime?
"So, do you know if anypony else needs help after we finish up here?"
>"Leaving already?"
"No, just for when one of us finally breaks. Judging by Anonymous's pace though, the first one to break will probably be either you or me."
>"If that's the case, then Ah'm not sure y'all should keep goin' after that. Ah can keep goin' for another few hours, Ah'm not too sure about you."
"Yeah, that's probably a good idea."
>A small stretch of silence passes, only broken by the thud of a kicked tree and the sound of rustled leaves and fallen apples
>"So, what's the occasion?"
"What occasion?"
>"Ya know, fer finally bringin' yer friend outta the castle fer once."
"Oh. I just wanted to get him outside, since he was spending pretty much every second inside. It also didn't help that his idea of working out revolved around him rearranging my library shelves for multiple hours a day."
>Applejack looks over towards Anonymous for a few moments, nodding softly the whole time

>>268143

>"So Ah've got one more question. What was all that y'all were talking about a week ago?"
>Well, you did already kind of screw up the secrecy on that
>She's one of the elements though, so she should know matters of national security
"Well, it all has to do with the fact that Anonymous comes from... a less-than-hospitable environment where you'd be hard-pressed to find anything other than an active battlefield. In fact, he's even been modified by other humans to be able to fight in those battles better than a normal human would. Finally, since he's here... Well, let's just say it's possible for any of those other groups of combatants to get here too."
>"That's a problem."
"A big problem. That's why I'm trying to get him to like us too, so that we can hopefully get some help in dealing with those other combatants when they get here."
>"Do any of those 'other combatants' have anythin' to do with him tacklin' Discord?"
"As a matter of fact, yes! I'd tell you more, but from my understanding that would just make them stronger."
>"Huh..."
>And from there, work continued on until Applejack insisted that you two go home since you both had helped out more than enough
>Once back home, Anonymous unexpectedly walks over to the fridge and pulls out an armload of food before you have an opportunity to do anything
>Well, you were going to the market tomorrow anyway...
>You grab something yourself and follow him to the table, sitting across from him
"So, how did you enjoy helping Applejack today?"
>"It was a change from before."
"Was it a good change, or...?"
>"It was a change from before."
"So it didn't really matter to you which you were doing?"
>"No."
"Okay, but if you had to choose between pushing around my shelves until your buddies find you or helping out around town instead, which would you do?"
>"I would push the shelves. It allows me to not only maintain my physical form, but also practice the art of fortification."
>Oh
>Oh...
>You sigh in defeat before getting an idea
"Hey, I think I have an idea for you to help out around here while still doing what you want to!"
>The human looks up from his food at you in what you assume to be an intrigued manner
"Since I happen to be royalty myself, why don't I pull some strings to get you your stuff back, and in exchange you can guard me?"
>"I would not be adverse to this."
>Fantastic!
"Alright! I'll go get that letter sent and you should have your stuff by tomorrow!"
>"It will be returned to me in the condition I lost it in, correct?"
"It should be. If it isn't, then those engineers weren't doing their jobs right."
>"So you were attempting to reverse engineer my weapons and armor?"
"Yeah, I hope you don't mind. We're just looking to have a backup plan in case our introduction to your world doesn't go as we'd like it to go, I'm sure you can understand."
>"While I do understand, I still must express my displeasure at this."
>You wait for him to do so for a moment, but he remains silent
>After another few seconds, you decide to ask about it
"So, are you going to express that displeasure?"
>"I already have. You are aware that I am displeased, that is sufficient."
>Oh
>Ok then
"Then uh... I'll get that letter sent."
>And with that, you leave to write that letter

>>268144

=Another Week Later=

>Be Fluttershy
>Discord was acting rather odd today
>He didn't seem nearly as engaged as he normally is when you two spend time together
>He was much quieter and more distant, too
>You even had to ask him a question three times before he answered it
>You hope it isn't something you did or said, that would just be awful!
>Now that you think about it, you did try a different recipe for the scones today, maybe he didn't like them?
>Maybe you should ask him about it, he did say that he'd be here for a while running errands
>But just in case, you're making a quick run to Twilight to ask her!
>You come in for a landing in front of her castle, being careful to not come down on any of the flowers out in front
>Once all four hooves are on the ground, you reach up and knock on the door
>As soon as the sound ceases, the door opens to reveal a giant yellow monster with angry red eyes and an unmoving grimace
>The monster then bends down towards you so that its face is mere inches from yours and bellows in a harsh, rattling tone
>"What is your purpose here."
>You're left paralyzed for a few moments, with little more than squeaks coming from your throat as a response
>After another moment, you finally manage to compose yourself and take a deep breath in preparation to talk
>However, the monster has other ideas
>It pulls out the black object on its hip and cocks it before pointing it at you
>"Speak. Now."
>Aaaaand there goes all your courage!
>You immediately flinch to the floor and cover your face before belting out your reasons as fast as possible
"I'mjustheretoaskTwilightaboutsomethingpleasedon'thurtme!"
>As you're cowering, you hear a few thuds in front of you
>So, naturally, you peek out to check
>The monster has stepped aside!
>"You are allowed entry."
>Not wanting to spend any time around this monster than necessary, you scurry inside
>However, you realize that you have no clue where she is as soon as you reach the stairs
>(Un?)luckily for you, the monster was following you
>"I shall escort you to her."
>Without another word, the monster begins climbing the crystal staircase and beckons for you to follow
>You just barely manage to keep your fear in check as you climb the stairs after it, its thudding footsteps far drowning out your own
>The yellow giant continues to lead you around and through the castle until it eventually stops at a door and opens it
>"There is a visitor. The yellow xenos with the pink mane."
>A familiar voice calls from inside the room in response
>"I get your reasoning for not wanting to use our names, but do you really have to refer to us as 'xenos'? 'Pony' fits better and should fit your same needs."
>The gargantuan yellow figure then steps aside to let you see into the room, revealing Twilight in the process of adding some new pieces to her personal library
>However, as soon as she sees you, she drops what she's doing and trots over
>"Hey Fluttershy, I hope Anonymous didn't give you too much trouble; I've been working with him to tone down his responses, but he insists on his measures because 'relaxing his guard could lead to cracks in his mental fortifications'."
>Once again, the furious eyes of the yellow beast are turned upon you and you insinctively flinch back
"N-n-no, everything's q-q-quite f-fine."
>Twilight sees right through your lie immediately and turns towards the monster with a stern look
>"We'll discuss this later; you're dismissed."
>And with that, the yellow monster you now know as Anonymous strides out into the hall again without a word
>"So, what brings you here? I thought this was one of your Discord days."
"That's actually what I'm here about. He seemed distant today..."
>"How so?"
"Well... He wasn't listening to what I was saying and he wasn't talking much either. Do you have any ideas about what's going on? It's okay if you don't."
>"Have you already tried asking him about it? I know you're not the type to take the initiative, but if he's not meeting you halfway then you're just going to have to go further if you want to figure this out. I wish I could give you any more advice, but I can't until I know better what's going on."
"That's fine, I was going to do that anyway..."
>"Oh, good! Feel free to tell me how it goes if you need any extra help working things out from there!"
"Alright. If it's okay, I'm going to go talk to him before he goes home now."
>"Go ahead, and I'll tell Anonymous to just let you in next time."
>Twilight mutters something else under her breath before continuing
>"Also, if you wanted me to, I could probably teleport you to him if he's still here; I just need a moment to find his magical signature."
"Oh, you don't have to, it's fine."
>"We're not sure how much longer he'll be here, so it'll get you to him faster. It only takes me a few seconds too, so it's really no problem."
"Well, if you insist..."
>Twilight then closes her eyes and ignites her horn for a few moments before turning her attention back to you
>"I found him, he's in the outskirts of the Everfree Forest. Now, just hold still..."

>>268145

>You hear/feel a pop and see a stunning abundance of purple immediately crowd your vision
>When it all fades, you see Discord only a few yards away with his attentions elsewhere
>Particularly on a bird that he's holding
>The bird appears to be a raven, from what you can tell
>After inspecting the bird for a few more seconds, Discord manifests a bird cage into the air and puts the raven inside it before making the bird and the cage disappear
>Odd, but he is a god of chaos, so you guess that makes it okay...?
>Well, no time like the present to get this off your chest
"Um... Discord?"
>The draconequus turns to face you with a look somewhere between surprise and confusion before responding
>"Oh. I didn't expect to see you here, Fluttershy; is there something I need to know?"
"Um... I'm just here to ask you if anything's happening with you right now. You just seemed a bit... Distant, is all."
>"Distant?"
"I'm sorry if that came off as worse than I wanted it to, I'm just worried that you might not be alright."
>"Oh, don't worry, I'm completely fine. I'm just working on something special, something secret, something that I've been thinking about for quite some time."
>You feel a wave of relief wash over you
>So it wasn't the scones!
"Oh, okay! That's good, I thought that something had happened between us... So, can you tell me who the surprise is for? I'd love to help you out with it, if you'll let me."
>"Terribly sorry, but no. This is a very special secret surprise, so I'm managing it solely by myself and telling no one so that it can all go just as planned!"
>Aww...
"Well, then I hope it all goes well..."
>"I do too! Anyway, I've got a schedule to keep, so ta ta!"
>You wave to Discord as he teleports away with a snap of his fingers

>Be Discord
>You've finished doing pretty much everything that Tzeentch told you to do
>You've built this... Thing
>A massive eight-pointed star with a giant blue eye in the middle and a fire pit built into the pupil, all on top of your castle
>You've waited for a long enough time
>You've amassed all the necessary materials
>You've mixed them together and then lit them all on fire, all within the span of 7 minutes
>... Now what?
>Now comes the final part! Remember that bird I told you to get?
>Yes, but I'm still not sure why it had to be a raven.
>It had to be a raven for many reasons.
>Many reasons?
>Many of them.
>... May I know some of these reasons?
>I don't know, ask Kairos. He's the one who keeps all the stuff I can't be bothered to remember.
>So then can I ask this 'Kairos'?
>After you sacrifice the bird! Throw it into the fire and I'll be able to give you all that power!
>This guy...
>Well, it won't hurt to humor him if you've already gone this far
>Fluttershy won't be happy that you did this, but...
>You summon in the caged raven, plucking it from its perch and tossing it into the blue fire you see before you
>Just as planned! Now, I shall bring forth my daemonhost to conquer this realm and you shall get your reward!
>You feel what feels like a bolt of lightning strike you from the center of the fire as it begins to coalesce into a blue disk
>The lightning strike then branches out and intensifies to a burning sensation spread across your whole body as you feel parts of your skin being atomized by the power radiating from the disk as it grows in size
>After a few more agonizing seconds, a tendril somewhere between an octopus's tentacle and a bird's talon snakes its way out of the portal and grabs you around the chest
>As it begins to tighten, you feel all the air squeezed from your body as the burning only intensifies
>The last of the oxygen in your system is crushed out of you, and you fall unconscious

>>268146

=A Weekish Later=

>Be Twilight
>Things have been pretty odd recently
>The weather isn't sticking to the schedule, the Everfree is throwing more monsters at the town than usual, some ponies are even getting similar cryptic nightmares!
>That last one's even gotten to the point where Princess Luna herself is working to find out what's going on
>The other two started out bearable as well, but after the second bugbear you're ruling that enough is enough
>Well, you would've ruled this if any of your books had anything to help you in this matter
>You've even looked into the history of the Everfree Forest itself to figure out things
>Formed from the magical fallout of Princess Celestia's fight with Nightmare Moon, the naturally erratic nature of the forest should only be shrinking over time, not growing!
>And yet, here you are
>Pouring over books, hoping to find even a miniscule clue as to what in tartarus is happening
>As you finish flipping through a book on prehistoric Equus, a scroll appears in front of you
>With the seals of both princesses on it
>You open this obviously important letter carefully so as to not damage the contents only to find that it's actually two separate letters sent at once
>Let's see, the one from Princess Luna's on top, so you'll read that one first
>"Dear Twilight,
>We bring you this knowledge in faith that you may act upon it and remedy the situations that lie ahead. Through our investigations of the commonponies' dreams, we have come to the assessment that said dreams are prophetic in nature. Their contents spell nothing but disaster for not only Equestria, but the planet at large on a scale unmatched by anything you and your friends have faced before, perpetrated by a being far beyond even our power. We know not how this disaster could be avoided, but we are sure in our conviction that you are the only pony with the power to stop this disaster from happening.
>Godspeed and best of luck, Princess Luna."
>Oh
>Oh no
>Oh no no nonononononO
>NONONONONONONONONONO
>This can't be happening
>A power beyond even the princesses?
>Unspeakable horrors happening across all the planet?
>This reeks of Anonymous's world!
>The question is though, will the planet be pulled into an extradimensional realm of pure malice and hostility, consumed by unfeeling insectoid monstrosities, brutalized by sentient mushrooms, or turned into a barren rock through sheer volume of fire?
>Let's hope Princess Celestia sent some good news...
>"Dear Twilight,
>I am writing this to you to aid you in avoiding the disaster you've no-doubt read about in my sister's letter. She has likely left the majority of the details on these dreams out of the letter, and this is simply because they all have crucial differences to remember. However, the majority of them feature the supernatural entities you mentioned in your report to me regarding Anonymous's world and one other being that bears a striking resemblance to Discord. I'm not sure whether it is him for sure or not, it could end up being another of his kind, if such a thing exists. Despite that, I want you to find him and see for sure. If you have any questions about how to reach him, ask and I shall tell you all I know. Meanwhile, we here in Canterlot will begin preparations for this disaster and use what we've gleaned from Anonymous's equipment to bolster our own forces.
>Kindest regards, Princess Celestia."
>You sigh and crumple to the floor, placing your hooves over your face as you try to return yourself to a calmer state
>It's okay, you have a lead!
>All you need to do is check in with Discord and see what's going on!
>That's it!
>Nothing else to worry about right now, just find Discord...
>Now, how do you do that?
>It would probably be a good idea to start off asking Fluttershy, since she's the closest to him
>In a flash of violet, you're outside her house and immediately hammering on the door
>After a very long second, the door opens to reveal a more-than-slightly startled yellow pegasus
>"H-hello, Twilight, wh-wh-wh-what i-is it?"
"Hi Fluttershy, sorry for being so urgent right now but do you know where Discord is?"
>"Not really, sorry. Why do you ask?"
"Because apparently those nightmares that have been happening around town are prophetic and he's got something to do with them that I'd like to ask him about."
>"Oh, that would certainly be important! However, I'm terribly sorry to tell you that I don't know where he is. He didn't even show up for our meeting two days ago, so I've been a bit worried. Please make sure he's okay when you find him?"
"I'll do what I can, thanks for the help."
>Well, that wasn't as helpful as you would've hoped
>You teleport back to your castle and go in search of some stationery
>You pen a quick letter to Celestia asking for assistance in this matter and she responds almost as quickly
>An upgraded teleportation spell, capable of breaking through the fabric of our reality and embedding itself in another?
>Sounds dangerous, but if your mentor's telling you about it then you're probably going to be fine using it
>Well, here we go!
>The spell charges and fires without a problem, though you do feel quite drained after casting it
>Now that you're here, you should probably assess your surroundings
>Let's see...
>Non-Eweclidian geometry, irregular gravity, patchwork landscape, a sky of an undefined color...
>Yep, this is probably Discord's realm
>You're not sure what you expected
>Let's see if you can locate him here!

>>268147

>You ignite your horn and focus, trying to pinpoint any and all magical signatures around you
>However, you find nothing due to the insane levels of background mana
>Casting may be a bit difficult here, note to self
>Well, maybe
>You don't have too much experience in environments like this, much like the rest of Equestria's best and brightest
>So, why don't we test it?
>A simple transmutation spell targeted at that tree in front of you
>Wood to stone, not too difficult
>You ignite your horn and surround the tree with a mutagenic aura, causing it to begin petrifying before you with startlingly little effort
>Good to know!
>Enough stalling though, time to find Discord!
>You wander around for a little while before deciding that it would be a better idea to fly given how the gravity repeatedly slams you into walls
>This flying takes you to such a point in this pocket dimension that you can see what looks to be Discord's actual house
>Or rather, castle
>A large, oddly-shaped protruding mass of assorted materials jutting from the landscape around it with no definitive entrypoints from what you can see
>However, you do see something on the roof!
>Something big
>As you fly closer to take a better look, you also notice someone near it
>The scene becomes so much clearer when you finally make out exactly the figure standing above the mysterious something as well as the something itself
>The someone is clearly Discord, judging by the body type
>However, from what you can see, there are some notable differences
>What really catches your eye is the something
>A large platform with an eight-pointed star embedded in it, all of it featuring a bright blue eye and a certain sigil
>A shrine to one of those chaos gods you learned of from Anonymous's memories!
>An involuntary gasp escapes your mouth as the shrine begins disgorging what you recognize to be demons of all shapes and sizes onto the castle and Discord just welcomes them in
>A second or so later though, Discord turns around and looks directly at you
>As soon as his gaze catches yours, you feel something
>Something that you've never felt out of any villain you've ever faced, no matter what
>Pure, refined malice
>In this hateful glare, you also feel a stifling presence
>A presence far beyond any you've ever felt before or likely ever will again
>A presence so utterly alien that it barely registers as the presence of something sentient and yet registers as well beyond that
>All of this in a brief moment though, as you immediately make the panicked decision to teleport home
>As soon as the purple fades from your vision, you push through whatever miniscule discomfort that traveling through dimensions brought you and begin penning a letter to Celestia
"Dear Princess Celestia,
Your suspicions have been entirely correct. Discord has become an agent of the supernatural entities from Anonymous's plane of existence and is currently bringing through an army that I can only assume will be targeting all of Equus. I'll immediately begin my work in finding a solution to this and putting it into effect, so if you don't hear from me again, assume the worst.
As always, your faithful student, Twilight"
>You wrap the letter and don't even bother calling Spike to send it, rather teleporting it directly into the princess's lap
>Time to get to work on that plan!
>You shout out to Anonymous and begin waiting anxiously for him to arrive
>While waiting, you receive a scroll teleported directly into the air before you
>You catch it before it hits the ground and note that it isn't even sealed, merely folded
>When you open it, it reveals a message just as hasty penned in Celestia's writing style
>"Godspeed, Twilight."

>>268148

>Be Anonymous
>You're currently in the process of polishing your weapons and counting out your reserve ammunition when the violet xenos calls for your attention
>Quite loudly, too
>Well, you're currently stationed under her, so you should go see what she wants
>You gather up your gear and leave your room to find her in the process of what looks to be a nervous breakdown
>"Oh, good, you're finally here! Anyway, I called for you because I have something very urgent that I need your help with. You remember Discord, right?"
>You know exactly where this is going
>You nod though, just to get her to confirm it
>"Well, you may have been right about the demonic stuff. He's currently summoning a massive army of demons that he's going to use to pull this entire planet into that extradimensional plane and I'm not sure how long we have before that happens and we need to stop him somehow-"
"This is a manageable problem."
>"... It is?"
"Yes. Invasions like this are somewhat common in the Imperium."
>"But we don't have anything like what you have! We don't have any guns, tanks, ships, our armed forces are still armed largely with spears!"
"But your species has many psykers, and a trained psyker can prove very effective against daemons."
>The violet xenos stares at you for a second before shaking her head
>"Our magic isn't the same as being psychic! Remember, none of us here except for you and me know anything about the massive problem that we're facing down or what caused it, so I doubt that magic will help us in the slightest."
"Yet that ritual you used against that daemon worked before, why wouldn't it now?"
>She inhales as if she was going to respond, but turns away and ponders your suggestion for a moment
>"You know, that actually might work. If the Elements of Harmony were used to bind Discord before and their power now lies directly within my friends and me, we could conceivably get him turned to stone again! Anonymous, you're a genius!"
>Huh, so that's what the ritual is called
>"Now that we've got that figured out, we need to get my friends together so this can actually work and you're coming with me."
"Why?"
>"Because you can speak from experience to give them a better idea of what we're up against. Any more questions, or are we free to go?"
"I have no questions left to ask at the moment."
>"Good, then we're leaving!"
>What appears to be a violet flashbang goes off in front of your eyes, forcing you to recoil slightly
>However, when your vision returns, you find yourself in a very different location
>A room that looks to be the seating area for a restaurant of sorts, containing more than a few xenos
>All of them look surprised at your sudden entry along with the violet one, but the pink one behind what looks to be a service counter is relatively unfazed
>"Heya Twi, what's up? And you brought your friend too, what's the occasion? Is it a birthday?"
>"Sorry for the short notice, Pinkie, but it's an emergency. Head over to my castle while we grab the others, okay?"
>"Ooh, I wonder what it is this time! Is it a monster? Some ancient prophecy from a thousand years ago? Hmmmmmm?"
>The violet xenos turns to you, as if asking you to explain this
"The details will be spared due to the situation's urgency. There is an army massing to take over this planet and you are among the few that this one trusts to help drive them back."
>"That's a new one! Okey dokey, I'll make like a banana and get to the castle!"
>The pink one then leaps over the counter and charges out the door as another violet flashbang goes off in front of you
>When it clears again, you are in yet another new location
>This time, it's a hill overlooking the town
>Who are you two supposed to be finding here!?
>As you continue looking around, the violet xenos calls up to something
>"Rainbow, I need you to get to the castle as fast as possible! Something's come up and I'm gathering up all the elements to stop it!"
>You look up to where the violet xenos is calling to find the blue-technicolor xenos somehow sitting atop a cloud
>"Is it really that bad?"
>Once again the violet xenos looks to you
"This threat has the potential to doom this entire planet."
>"That's bad! Heading over now!"
>The xenos then bolts off the cloud at astounding speeds towards the castle, leaving a faint afterimage in its wake

>>268149

>At that moment, the flashbang returns
>How many of these are there?
>Another new location, this time within what appears to be a clothing store
>Odd, you haven't seen a single xenos wearing anything except accessories aside from that subjugation force you eliminated
>"Rarity, you're needed at the castle immediately! There's a big problem, so I'm calling everypony to help!"
>The white and indigo xenos appears from around a corner and replies
>"Just a second, darling, I'm almost finished with this dress."
>Thisbitch.holovid
"There may not be a second to wait! An army of daemons is massing to ravage this planet and can strike at any moment!"
>The xenos appears from around the corner again, this time in full view
>"Then it's a good thing that all I needed was a second, I'll be there in a flash!"
>This xenos disappears in a flashbang of its own, this one colored light blue
>Less than a second after the blue fades, the violet flashbang goes off yet again
>Again, when it clears you're at a new location
>It's that orchard from the other day, and the orange xenos is nearby kicking trees again
>The violet xenos speaks up again to its target in an urgent tone
>"Applejack, Some major things are happening and everypony but Fluttershy's already been told. Please go to the castle immediately!"
>The orange xenos turns its attention fully towards the violet one with a look of mild surprise
>"Then why didn't y'all tell me sooner? Never mind that, I'll get there doubletime!"
>The violet xenos nods in affirmation before unleashing another flashbang across your vision
>This is starting to get annoying
>However, by now you're getting more used to the process
>Violet fades, new location, new xenos
>Inside of tree, yellow with pink
>"Fluttershy, there's been an emergency involving Discord and I'm organizing the elements to fix it; hang on and I'll teleport us all back to the castle."
>The yellow xenos rises from its seated position on a couch to reveal its barely contained happiness
>"You found him? That's great news! What's going on?"
>"Nothing good. I can't say too much, but he's definitely back to his old tricks but this time to a much more drastic extent."
>"What? But I thought he was- is our friend!"
>"There are stronger powers at work here than even the royal sisters; he's been duped into becoming a pawn to them."
>The xenos begins shaking upon hearing this information, but it suppresses its fear response in but a few moments through what you can only imagine is sheer willpower
>Some of the guardsmen you've seen could learn a thing or two here
>"Alright. Let's go save him."
>Once more the flashbang crosses your visor, this time fading back into the crystalline walls of the castle you both started at
>This time, with the other xenos all standing in the room with you
>"Alright, time to brief you all on what's going on: all the nightmares that ponies were having around town were prophetic in nature, many of them detailing an invading army of monsters spearheaded by what we can reasonably assume is Discord completely consuming this planet. After being called to investigate this by the royal sisters, I confirmed that these events were preparing to transpire, hence my call to arms. As for what we'll be facing, I'm sure Anonymous can explain it all better than I can, so I'll turn it over to him."
>All eyes turn to you expectantly
>You remove your helmet to let your expressions add more weight to your words and begin your presentation on what you know
"Viol- No, Twilight- ready our insertion method while I explain."
>The violet xenos's face lights up upon your usage of its name, but you're doing this simply for efficiency in a combat scenario
>Nothing more
>As it begins readying the spell that will bring you all to your battlefield, you proceed to the proper briefing
"What we are up against is an army of daemons, likely lead by a daemon prince. Now, I cannot say for sure which varieties we will be facing as I was not the one to scout, but I know that all varieties of them are weak to psychic influence. You, white with indigo-"
>"My name is Rarity, seeing as you're willing to use names now."
"Yes, that will be useful to know for the time to come. You have an innate advantage over the daemons that your comrades do not. However, this also makes you potentially more vulnerable, as your greatest strength here is also your greatest weakness. Keep your mind strong and the warp and all things from it cannot touch you, and that goes for all of you. As for the rest of you, some of your own abilities may also prove useful in their own ways. Yellow and blue-
>"Call me Rainbow Dash."
>"I'm Fluttershy, if that isn't too hard to remember..."
"-Your wings give you excellent mobility that few warpspawn can challenge. Orange and pink-"
>"The name's Applejack, pardner."
>"And I'm Pinkie!"
"-You both seem sturdy; your physical prowess will give you extra resilience against their assaults, however much that may be. However, this mission will likely not end without a cost being incurred. We are venturing far into enemy territory as a team of seven, woefully outmatched should we encounter any sort of organized resistance. There will likely be casualties, so do not expect to make the trip home when all is said and done. However, in that event, you ma-
>"Alright, I think that's good. We wouldn't want to go into this thinking we're already dead, so let's save that for later."
>You sigh and return your helmet to your head
"I believe that they should be knowledgeable of what is to come, but you do make a point. Low morale does not win battles."
>With that last word, Twilight teleports you off to Emperor-knows-where and to the site of the battle for this planet

>>268150

>The violet flash ends and your mind is immediately refreshed with a certain sensation
>The feeling of a certain pressure, though not as oppressive as it was during your stint in the warp, is still present at the borders of your mind all the same
>At least due to your prior experiences and the lessened version of it, you're now able to resist it in a way that lets you be of greater use
>However, it looks as if none of your companions are suffering to the same extent, so you shall weather through it with even greater strength
>Now, to make up for the lack of intel that you need to get through this!
>You ckeck your surroundings in a full 360-degree sweep, making sure to check your hud for anything of note in the process
>You see no immediate dangers, so that's a good thing
>Some very warped architecture however, so that's some level of chaotic confirmation
>At least you have some time to go through the processes required to get things going properly
>As such, you turn towards your companions and start giving orders
"Time to get into formation. Twilight, you're on point; I'll guard the rear. The rest of you, organize as you deem acceptable as I am not as aware of your aptitude in this situation."
>After all the xenos get themselves organized, you take your position at the back and draw your bolter preemptively
>This landscape is quite reminiscent of what you imagine the warp to be like, but 'Twilight' seems to know where she's going
>You all navigate further into the chaotic landscape, maintaining vigilance as you all move further in
>After a while, you finally get a blip on your hud!
"Two contacts, coming from twelve o'clock above us! Under that tree!"
>You gesture to what appears to be a nearby tree, minus the fact that it's completely made of stone and begin ushering your companions over
>Just as you all cluster underneath, you hear the telltale screech overhead of a pair of screamers
>The blue creatures glide overhead, kite-like flaps outstretched as their smooth, spined tails trail behind them
>They pass overhead uneventfully, much to everyone's relief
>Once you can't see them on your hud anymore, you direct the xenos back out from under the tree
>Before the infiltration can resume though, 'Rainbow' speaks up
>"What the buck were those!?"
"Screamers."
>"Equish, please?"
"Aerial scouts for the chaos god of change."
>It sighs in defeat before turning to 'Twilight'
>"Twi?"
>The violet xenos shrugs before issuing its response
>"I know what he does, and that's about it."
>It sighs a second time before resuming its position in the formation, allowing the party to begin moving again
>As you all move deeper into the chaotic realm, you begin to see what you imagine to be your target location
>A large, imposing fortress of indeterminate dimensions that seems to fluctuate in size on the horizon
>Large towers splintering off only to fade away or merge back into the central structure, said central structure disappearing halfway up before reappearing further up, and a strange haze surrounding it all and heavily obscuring most detail from what you can see
>Even 'Twilight' seems surprised by this, as if the structure has changed since it was last here
>However, its certainty of destination is unwavering, so all of you continue on towards it until you reach another obstacle
>A large wall stands before you all, seemingly made of creeping crystalline vines and bushes of indeterminate type
>Even more suspicious are the seven gaps within the wall itself, each exposing yet more walls within its borders
>As you're processing this, you briefly notice a look of realization cross some of your companions' faces
>Only briefly though, as suddenly more of the walls spring up and separate you from your party
>You immediately snap your gun up and survey your surroundings, only to find that you're now forced to continue through the passage before you
>However, before doing so, you do a check for your companions
"Sound off!"
>"I'm alright! Blocked in, but alright."
>"Still here, darling."
>"I ain't left yet!"
>"I'm still cool."
>"I'm here too!"
>"I-I'm still here, please don't worry..."
"Twilight mentioned being blocked in. Am I correct in assuming the rest of you are too?"
>You hear 'Applejack' reply first
>"If this all is what I think it is, we aren't leavin' the way we came, that's fer sure."
>Next to chime in is 'Rainbow' with its own input
>"I still have my wings, let me see if I-"
>A loud pop and a fizzle follows before anything else is heard from it
>"Okay, don't try flying over, there's a ceiling and it hurts to touch."
>"I think we just have to go forward. Remember what happened the last time and stay on guard, everything will be fine."
>So this is an analog to one of the trials faced by these xenos when battling this fiend before...
>Well, with the light of the Emperor and the Praetorian of Terra's steadfast will, you should be fine too
>However, you shall still remain on guard against chaos tricks
>All the advantages in the galaxy mean nothing if one is taken by surprise
>The sounds of steps around you signify the rest of your party moving deeper into this labyrinthine construct, so you follow suit

>>268151

>Be Twilight
>Discord's sealed you all in another maze, but this time you all have the powers of your own elements within you to give you strength to resist Discord's influence
>You hope
>If not, then all is already lost
>Wait, Anonymous doesn't have an element to protect him!
>Hang on, remember who you're thinking about
>Someone that stubborn would be able to make a brick wall move before they did, he's not going to have any problems with trickery!
>You push away the rest of your worries and push on further into the maze, confident in your ability to overcome all you come across
>Speaking of coming across something, you notice that the walls of the maze have shifted from crystalline plants to crystalline books
>Something's not right, and you know it
>However, the only way forward is through it, so you're forced to enter
>As soon as you do, the maze closes behind you yet again with another shelf
>You also hear a voice enter your head
>Good afternoon! Or is it morning? Night, maybe? What even is time...
"Whoever you are, I'm not interested and I'm not listening."
>So eager to cut me off when I haven't even done anything! I'm surprised that somepony as level-headed as you is being so close-minded.
"If I hear you out, will you leave me alone?"
>Mmmmmmmmmmmmmaybe, maybe not. That will all depend on your answer to my offer!
"Then make it so I can make you go away."
>You're a smart magician, right? Well, I happen to be one of those myself, so I figure we could help each other out. I'll share with you some of my knowledge and power, and you can go use it to gather more to share with me!
>Knowledge and power?
>Of many things! I can give you knowledge of things far beyond your wildest dreams and give you power to eclipse that of those creatures you call princesses!
>... Is this really worth it?
It is, I assure you! Once you have all the knowledge and power to build a new world for yourself, you won't care that that other one's gone!
>In an instant, a tidal wave of memories drown your mind
>Memories of your family, of your friends, of your mentor, and of all the experiences you've had with all of them
>No amount of knowledge or power could ever replace them if you lost them
>Besides, your true power comes from your friends, and they'd never forgive you if you let yourself get tricked here!
>Ah, a stubborn one. I see that human's already gotten to you, but he hasn't shown you everything in the picture, so I'll supply you with what he hasn't to help you make an informed decision!
"I know what I'm here to do, I won't give in!"
>So you still won't hear me out, how uncharacteristic.
"No I won't, get out of my head."
>A shame, that is. Maybe one of your friends will take my offer instead! Nyehehehehehe!
>And with that, the voice disappears along with the bookshelves along the maze walls
>You've beaten your challenge, you can only hope the others are faring as well

>Be Applejack
>Your trip through what you assume is another one of Discord's dirty tricks is so far uneventful
>However, that uneventfulness ends as soon as you round a corner into an open field dotted with crystalline trees
>Upon further inspection, these trees are also bearing crystalline fruit!
>You give one tree a swift kick, sending a cascade of these fruits down to the grass
>Now that they're within grabbing distance, you can see that these are a form of crystal apple
>Right as you're about to pick one up though, you hear a voice
>I see you've found my orchard, I grow fruit of knowledge here.
"Now what in tarnation is that supposed ta' mean?"
>It will give you unparalleled knowledge. Or, it will put you entirely under my control, or both, or neither. Fate will decide, as it does everything.
"I'm leanin' more towards it puttin' me under yer control, am I right?"
>A bold guess, but how can you be sure it's true?
"It seems like it would be yer best bet at stoppin' us from gettin' rid a' Discord if one a' us wasn't there ta' fight him."
>But if I really wanted to do that, then I could've locked you all forever in this maze, or even sent hordes of my minions to dispatch you all.
"You don't seem the type to do that, more lyin' an' cheatin' an' less brute-forcin'."
>But what is a lie, really? It's merely an alternate position from the truth, and the truth is merely a statement of what the originating party believes. Nothing more, nothing less.
"Now that just sounds like yer tryin' ta prove me right."
>Being right from one perspective is still meaningless from another, especially in this world where right and wrong lose all meaning. Fact becomes opinion, truth and lies are interchangeable, and nothing matters but the will of fate itself!
"Then it's a good thing I don't come from that world, isn't it? Now, why don'tcha tell me the way outta here?"
>You mortals are stubborn... Left.
"Got it, right."
>Or was me saying left merely a ploy trying to get you to go right? You never know.
"Got it, right."
>With that, the voice briefly huffs in frustration before leaving to never be heard from again
>Once the voice leaves, the large open field collapses in on itself as the trees and fruit are reabsorbed into the maze walls until you're left with a branching path
>Left and right
>So, you stay true to your own word and go right

>>268152

>Be Rainbow Dash
>You've been wandering through this maze for a while with no signs of any trickery, so that's cool so far
>Oh wait, there's something up ahead
>Jinxed yourself, didn't you?
>Well, let's get this all over with
>You walk forward into the obvious trap, not even bothering to pay attention to your altered surroundings other than to discern your next move
>The one thing that finally makes you pause is a voice popping into your head
>Aw, you're not even paying attention to the scenery I put together specifically for you!
"Well duh, I know you're just going to try to turn me against my friends so I'm tuning you out completely."
>You're not even going to hear me out? Not even for a moment?
"Nope."
>Ten seconds, that's all I need.
"Nah."
>You sure?
"Yes, now get lost!"
>But-
"No."
>The unknown voice screeches a bit, but it dies down after a few moments
>Wow, somehow you're getting on my nerves more than that angry skull-obsessed paraplegic. Have fun with horrible luck from now on!
"Cool."
>The maze returns to normal, not that you treated it like it wasn't
>Now, where were you going next?

>Be Rarity
>Walking through this maze is bringing up some memories of times you'd rather not remember...
>Flashes of the name "Tom" and the smell of silica dust still permeate your mind on lonely nights, you'd rather not give them any more territory inside your head
>However, those memories are likely to stick around for longer than comfortable, seeing as you still haven't found a way out of this maze
>After another few moments, you begin seeing some other things that begin bringing more of those memories to the forefront
>The polished blue crystal of the labyrinth is now transforming into a more opalescent white, studded throughout with other gemstones
>Oh dear...
>Just tune it out, don't let it get to you
>One drunken night with a large rock is enough for a lifetime, any more is just excessive
>After a few more moments, you come across what appears to be a stunning example of a cut sapphire and decide to pause briefly to inspect it
>However, the instant you do, you immediately regret it
>Good evening! Or is it morning? One never knows for sure around here, but what is time, really? Something to discuss at another time for sure, because I can't help but notice you inspecting some of my priceless gemstones.
"And if I was?"
>Then I'd be happy to show more of them to you, and even show you some of the nicer ones!
"Nicer?"
>Oh yes, these are but mere pebbles compared to some of the pieces my followers have offered up to me, and all in exchange for a little bit of knowledge and can-do attitude. So, would you care to hear more?
>Even nicer gemstones than these?
>It seems like another trick to be sure!
>Oh no, I assure you these are all real. I may lie, trick, decieve, bamboozle, and even pull the wool over others' eyes, but I always love bragging about what my followers do for me. You too can also experience the same riches that they do, all you need to do is just join me.
>Hmm....
>This offer still seems too good to be true, I should test one of them to be sure
>Go right ahead, I'll even make the job of extracting one easier for you.
"Wait, can you hear my thoughts?"
>I'm surprised you didn't catch that after the first time I did that! Yes, I can.
>After you get over the surprise about this... Thing... being able to read your mind, you notice that one of the vines making up the wall has extended out, bearing that same sapphire you were admiring
>Go ahead, pick it.
>Almost hypnotized by the sight of this lustrous azure drop, you envelop it in your magic and break it free of the vine
>It looks alright from every angle you can see it from
>However, you haven't yet checked it for the one thing that you remember most clearly from the last deception you experienced
>You raise the stone up to your nose and smell it
>
>No dust
>No scent
>Just air
>Told you, now come on so that I can show you some more of them!
>A door opens out of the wall of the maze, exposing a staircase leading into an underground passage
>Still entranced by all of this, you take a hesitant step forward
>To think, all of this that you can see and then tell your-
>Your friends
>Your friends that this- this FIEND is trying to make you abandon!
>You immediately turn away from the yawning chasm that almost swallowed you whole and continue back down the maze without another word
>And I was so close, too! Oh well, there's still a few more of you that I can break, I guarantee that at least one of you will be broken by the time you reach the castle... Especially when the last two are almost as weak-willed as you! Nyehehehehehe...
>After one final disgruntled huff, you too vacate the premises and hope beyond all hope that whoever those last two of your friends are, they can make it out alright

>>268153

>Be Pinkie
>This maze is pretty neat!
>It's a lot more twisty and wind-y than the last one, and it's not just boring bushes anymore!
>You just hope that you don't get caught in another one of those traps again, that was almost as un-fun as that time you forgot your own birthday and thought your friends were conspiring against you
>After another few twists and turns, however, you run into another one of those traps
>Well, you assume
>Ahead of you, you see a pink blob of indeterminable shape sitting in front of a piece of paper and laughing uncontrollably
>You would try to avoid it, but there's no other way around it
>Well, that and you want to see what's so funny too!
>So you walk up behind it and look over what you assume to be its shoulder
>The creature notices you and gestures at you towards the paper, stopping its mirth only briefly to sharply inhale before resuming its giggling
>So, against your better judgement, you look at the paper
>And... See an incomprehensible mass of scribbles and shapes
>Your confusion is only outweighed by your disappointment!
>You know, I can show you what's on that page.
>Almost to punctuate this statement, the pink thing extends a limb and holds the paper up to you while whiping a tear from what you assume is one of its eyes
"I do wanna know what's so funny... But that would mean I have to make a deal with you, which I know is a bad thing!"
>Is it really so bad? After all, morality is entirely subjective. From my point of view, I'm only doing what I must to sustain myself. Is that really evil?
"But do you really need to destroy a planet to do that?"
>Do you know the answer to that question yourself?
"No, but that doesn't matter. What does matter is that that planet has all my friends on it, so I won't let you touch it no matter how funny that joke you're looking at is!"
>The voice is silent for a few seconds while you continue to stare grumpily at the pink mass chortling before you
>You must think I'm that minion I put in here. I assure you, I'm much more impressive to be around, and my sense of humor is unparalleled throughout this plane! I could tell you jokes for eons and only exhaust a small portion of my repertoire, all you need do is join me.
"You know, I could do that, but then I couldn't tell all these jokes to my friends."
>And what if they've already joined me?
"Hehehe, that's a good one! I know they wouldn't, since we came here to stop Discord and all. Besides, they aren't all of my friends!"
>But what if those other friends of yours also joined me? Then would you be persuaded to join them with me as well?
"Mmmmmmmaybe, but then it wouldn't really matter because all my friends would still be fine."
>And how do you know they won't be?
"Because you don't seem to be very trustworthy, mister disembodied voice. I bet you're named something slimy and dark, like 'tzeentch' or something!"
>I-
>The voice sputters for a moment, somehow emiting an aura of surprise
>I got that name from throwing darts at a wheel with spinning letters, yet somehow you guess it within a moment. Time to make a new name and change my address again...
>Tzeentch sighs for a solid thirty seconds before responding again
>I still don't quite understand how a being dumb enough to mistake my minion for me managed to guess my primary name, but I suppose weirder things have happened. Very well, mortal, you have bested the Architect of Fate himself this one time; you may ask me one question and I will answer it.
>Hmmm, what question should you ask?
>Well, there's the obvious one of how to beat him, but you've already got a plan for that
>You could also ask about how your other friends are doing, but you already know they're fine
>You've already made it through something like this before, you all should know how to get past it without trouble!
>...
>.....
>.......
>Well, the old standby it is!
"When's your birthday?"
>You wait a minute for Tzeentch to reply, eagerly waiting with a pencil and paper on hoof
>Why, out of all the possible questions you could ask, is that the one you choose? You could've asked for the answer to one of your race's great mysteries, or asked for the secret to infinite wealth or power, but you ask me for my birth date of all things.
"Well, I just want to make sure I know everything I need to in case we end up having to redeem you too and make you one of our friends! After all, what kind of friend would I be if I didn't make sure you always had a super fun birthday to look forward to every year?"
>I exist far beyond your simple concepts of redemption or friendship. I have existed for as long as life has sought hope, or the passage of time has been logged. I was born from the first thought towards the nature of change, and thus the first thought to ever be thought. I am timeless, and thus have no birthday. However, if it will get you to move on so that I too can move on, it's February 30th.
"Alrighty, thank- wait, that's not a real date!"
>It is here in the warp! Goodbye and good riddance!
>Tzeentch then exits your mind with an auditory pop, leaving you still sitting there with your pencil and paper yet without a proper date to write
>Slippery, tricky Tzeentch...
>He really got you good with that one!
>Something tells you that when he's redeemed too, he'll be really fun to play pranks with!

>>268154

>Be Fluttershy
>You are not happy in the least in your current situation
>First, Discord ends up getting brainwashed by some monster
>Now, you have to go help your friends get him back and save the world again
>All your work helping him?
>You can assume gone!
>So here you walk, wandering through this crystal labyrinth and hoping that you and your friends make it out intact
>Well, until you make it to a section of the labyrinth that looks quite different from what the rest of it looks like
>A more natural looking forest, populated with many strange creatures
>Some look vaguely familiar, others completely alien
>None of them are from Equus, though
>You'd like to keep going this way, but given how you don't know any of these creatures or what they're capable of, you'd rather not risk running into any predators that you can't subdue for whatever reason
>So, you turn back and look for a new way to go!
>Don't worry, none of them bite. At least, not harder than any of my minions can. Besides, there's no other way forward, so you'd have to go through either way.
>You jump a bit at the sudden alien voice inside your head before managing to collect yourself a bit
"Wh-who are you?"
>Simply a being with a proposition.
"A proposition? Well, as long as it's nothing too out of the way, seeing as I'm kind of trying to get somewhere right now..."
>Oh, you don't need to worry about that at all! In fact, if you accept this proposition, I'll lead you to where you're trying to go myself!
"Really? That would be so helpful, thank you!"
>It's no problem at all, and once you're there you can be properly reunited with that other friend of yours, what'shisname!
>Fantastic, that will make things much easier for you!
>Precisely, now just hop in here and you'll be right there!
>As the voice finishes its statement and opens up a portal before you, you take pause briefly to bring up something
"Wait, I don't even think I've heard this proposition yet. Can you please inform me before I make any further decisions?"
>Don't worry about it, it's nothing too much. Just hop in and he'll fill you in on everything so that you can get to work on it.
>And that's where it all clicks
>Well? Neither of us are getting any younger here, so I'd appreciate it if you didn't keep us waiting for any longer.
"You... You.... You-you MONSTER! YOU'RE the one who took him from us, aren't you!?"
>Cease these accusations, I merely enlightened him to his true purpose in this world! It's not my fault that these perspective shifts have brought him to a new way of thinking, you know.
"I know Discord better than you, and I know for a FACT that he wouldn't have done any of what you're making him do if he hadn't been tricked into doing it! How could you even try to argue with me, you don't even know his name!"
>To be fair, I have many princes which I have bestowed power to and many other powerful servants that I can't be bothered to remember the names of either.
"You do realize that that doesn't help you, do you?"
>Nggahhh! Just get in the portal or I can tell you for certain as the Architect of Fate himself that this 'Discord' will never be able to be brought back to your way of thinking!
"I've done it once before, I can do it again."
>Those who tempt fate often meet an ill fate themselves; I'd advise you not challenge me further, mortal!
"And if I do?"
>That's for me to know and you to find out. Now, if you'll exuse me, I have a certain Ass-tartes to take out all of my frustrations on. See you very soon!
"Likewise."
>Well, now you at least have a voice to put to the being responsible for undoing all that hard work you put into Discord...
>Hopefully, you'll get a face too at some point
>Then you'll be able to properly pay him back for everything he's done!
>Oh, and for trying to destroy the world
>That too
>The scenery before you collapses back into the maze, leaving you a single path forward yet again

>>268157

>... What?
>Not important, the rest of my personal life will remain personal. Now, look upon the beginning of your Imperium's end and weep with those salty tears I crave!
>"Now is not the time to weep for battles lost, but to fight onwards even just to spite those trying to put you down."
>Again, what?
>You turn towards the source of this voice, only to see a young girl
>About the age of ten, with dark hair and golden eyes
>You'd think it a third time, but... now is not the time?
>You again!? First you disrespect me by getting through my entire home defense system INCLUDING the unsolvable maze and the unanswerable riddles, and now you've come to ruin my gloating!
>"Tzeentch, your meddling knows no bounds. Surely you can understand when it's time to let someone else cut in?"
>You may be technically correct, but you can at least wait your turn!
>"I have waited, now I'm taking it."
>Nnnnnggah! Hmph! Fine, be that way! It still won't change a thing, so... I don't even care!
>And with the simulated sound of a door slamming, Tzeentch's voice cuts out
>"Now that he's gone, I'll show you that not all of this battle was lost. Come with me, there's much to see."
"Excuse me, but before we continue on, I must ask. Who are you?"
>The girl turns back to you and answers in a strange firmness
>"You will know in good time."
>She beckons you forward, and as you walk to her a bright light begins to envelop your field of vision
>After the point where all you can see is white, the light begins dimming again until it reaches a much more manageable level
>Before you sprawls a new scene
>Not like before, where the battlefield is fully encompassing the planes, but this time more restricted
>Like a diorama in a museum, except clearly a frozen version of real events
>Within this scene sits two clearly defined figures, one being a woman clad in power armor and radiating light from every inch of her including a rather impressive pair of wings, and the other being a pale, gaunt man clad from the neck down in inky black armor that puts even yours to shame in sheer size
>The woman appears to be floating behind the man and brandishing a sword wreathed in flame, which is currently being driven through the man's back
>"This was one major point that Tzeentch left out of his highlight reel. I'm sure you recognize Abaddon the Despoiler, and I'm sure that you can also recognize a living saint as well?"
"Yes, I can. Does this mean that Abaddon was finally slain? Is the Black Legion left leaderless?"
>The girl looks to the ground briefly before returning her gaze to you
>"No, he still lives. However, he has taken a heavy wound and will be unable to lead more battles for the foreseeable future and thus won't be able to put further pressure on the Imperium in this trying time, which is a breath of life that it desparately needs in this hour."
"Then how will the Imperium move forward? If Cadia has fallen to chaos, then what stands between them and destroying all that remains?"
>"I'm glad you asked that. Follow me, there is yet more to see!"
>The girl begins walking away yet again, beckoning for you to follow
>You do as she instructs, once again seeing light gather in your vision until you can see nothing but it
>However, it fades after another moment just as before
>This time, a much greater scene lies before you
>A large, gothically-styled room filled with Ultramarine iconography is now the setting of this vision, the centerpiece of it all being a blonde man in blue and gold armor towering above you both and surrounded by Ultramarines
>However, something else you note is the presence of another Eldar
>For some fucking reason
>"Yes, I'm not too aware of why the Eldar have elected to help us in this hour either. Despite that, they've more than earned our trust by bringing the peace offering they did."
"And what would that be?"
>"Do you not recognize Roboute Guilliman standing before us both? One of the primarchs has returned thanks to one device that the Eldar brought. This is the breath of life that the Imperium needed, and hopefully the other primarchs that remain loyal will return in due time. Until then, though, Guilliman has already taken up the mantle of running the Imperium in their abscence and is currently heading the forces tasked with reuniting the Imperium and fixing the damage caused by the fall of Cadia."
"One of the Emperor's sons finally returns! This can only mean good things for the future of the Imperium!"
>"Indeed! As always, humanity will continue to endure and we will again rise to our spot at the head of the galaxy, all you need do is keep holding the line against those that would seek to stop us and never let them tell you that we can't."
>You breathe a sigh of relief, once again sure of humanity's bright and prosperous future
"Thank you, young girl. I know not who you are, but you have helped me immensely."
>"You are welcome. Now, I believe you have unfinished business to attend to back where you came from; show those who doubt us of our strength and those who welcome us our honor!."
>The girl then steps aside and gestures behind her, where you can see another portal forming
>With one final nod, you stride forward into the portal without another word and arrive back in the maze
>However, when the portal closes behind you, you notice that you've actually appeared in a small courtyard at the exit of the maze where the xenos were waiting for you!

>>268158

>Upon your somewhat dramatic exit via portal, all the xenos turn around to look at you
>They all immediately run up to you upon your exit, much to your surprise
>'Twilight' especially, seeing as she ends up putting her forelimbs on your shoulders while the others either stay on the ground or stay at a more comfortable distance
>"What happened in there? We were waiting for so long, we were about to go inside without you!"
"Tzeentch took me elsewhere to take out his frustrations before I was rescued by some other force. I do not know how long I was gone in truth, but it was only minutes for me."
>The next one to speak is 'Pinkie'
>"Nuh-uh, we were waiting here for almost an hour! I even kept count!"
"Time moves differently in the warp."
>"Or you just weren't as fast at solvin' it as ya thought."
>You look down at 'Applejack' and see her smirking up at you
"While it is true that I was slow in my progress initially, I highly doubt that you all were able to escape this trial within mere minutes yourselves."
>"He's right, I made it out first and it still took me longer than we've been waiting."
"Either way, we still have little time to waste. Resume formation, we're entering the castle."
>You wait as the xenos reorganize themselves back into their formation, then take your spot again when they're done with it
>Soon after, 'Twilight' opens a door before you all and you all enter the castle
>Once you're all inside, the door shuts behind you all on its own and leaving you all locked in
>That's never a good omen
>Around the large room you now find yourself in, you see many torches and candles placed around its walls igniting in blue fire
>This messes with your hud's night vision feature, but not too much
>Once it all clears up though, you take a good look around the room you're in
>Large and circular, it extends upward so far that you can't see the ceiling
>Also studded around the room are large support columns that seem to be made of obsidian
>A poor choice compared to more structurally sound materials, but has anything in this world conformed to your standards yet?
>No, not in the slightest
>Upon further inspection, you also notice a large stairway in the center of the room
"I see a way up, but you all should still understand that this is most likely a trap we're in before we proceed."
>'Rainbow' is the only one to respond audibly to your warning
>"Yeah, but the only thing you can do with a trap is spring it!"
>It begins flying towards the staircase somewhat cautiously, even going so far as to touch it before rocketing back to the formation
>"Huh, I guess it's nothing."
"At first glance, that appears the case. However, vigilance should still be maintained as we continue on."
>And so vigilance is maintained, from the bottom of the staircase all the way up until it ends on the next floor
>From there, there's an elevator to go to the next floor
>Similar decorations as the last floor, again nothing special
>Wordlessly, you look towards 'Rainbow' to see if it's willing to check again for traps
>It looks back towards you and nods in agreement
>As the blue xenos begins stalking towards the door, you ready your bolter asn 'Twilight' readies some psychic thing
>The xenos touches the open button for the elevator and rushes back over, but again nothing happens
>Weird
>Two floors up on this mess and you still haven't seen a single daemon
>... You've probably just jinxed yourself, but it would've been a matter of time anyway
>Regardless, you and the others pile into the surprisingly roomy elevator and begin the journey upwards
>Much like with the staircase though, the elevator only goes to the next floor
>And when the doors open, you see a room much the same as the last two with one exception
>A large crowd of indiscernible pink masses across it and blocking the ladder that leads to the next floor
>Horrors!
"Twilight, if you can make a shield for us, then do so quickly!"
>As you say that, you crouch down, ready your bolter, and begin spraying into the crowd before you
>The horrors, now realizing that they're under attack, begin running in various directions while throwing balls of warp fire at you all
>Luckily, 'Twilight' gets that shield up before the fire gets there
>Also luckily, the shield also is letting your own fire leave and continue dealing damage!
>So you do exactly that, and continue laying into the crowd of pink horrors before you even as they begin dying and splitting into blue horrors
>'Twilight' also begins going on the offensive herself, bending and changing the shield to create spikes that impale any stragglers you don't catch
>With all this happening, the crowd is cleared within thirty seconds and the room is left empty save for you and your team
"Since I'm assuming you'll ask, those were pink and blue horrors. They're the general infantry of Tzeentch, and we'll likely see more of them. Pink horrors split into blue horrors when they die, but blue horrors disappear after being killed like any other daemon."
>After finishing your explanation, you notice 'Pinkie' moping around and looking at the piles of ash that were once the daemons
>"Aww, did we really have to kill 'em?"
"They would've killed us otherwise, or worse, been let loose upon your world if the invasion is allowed to happen."
>"But did we really have to kill them all? I saw one of them in the maze and it was being nice there, so-"
"Whatever you saw in the maze was merely what Tzeentch wanted you to see. Were it left to its own decisions, it would've reduced you to ash with a smile on the distorted grimace it calls a face."
>'Pinkie' develops a surprised expression at this realization, but doesn't respond further
>Instead, formation is resumed as you all continue up the ladder

>>268159

>The floors proceed to continue in this pattern as you proceed up, with you all eventually passing through seven full repeats
>Along the way, the formation grows tighter and actions become swifter and more uniform
>Around the fourth repeat, you don't even have to shoot anything anymore as 'Twilight' immediately covers the room in psychic bolts before anything else happens
>You're honestly a bit surprised that nothing's changed this far in, given how you're supposed to be up against the shiftiest of the Ruinous Powers
>So, with the set pattern in mind but expecting something entirely different, you enter this elevator after the xenos
>Upon completing the ride up, the doors slide open and you notice something
>This room is different
>Instead of it having more horrors and another way up, it has a hallway leading to a door
>'Rainbow' starts moving forward to open the door, but 'Twilight' stops it before it can take another step forward
>"This is it, I can sense Discord just past that door. Everybody ready?"
>The other xenos nod as you make a last check of your ammunition
>A few mags are left, the one you have is currently about half empty
>Not the best situation, but you still have your chainsword and combat knife if things get worse
"Then let us face this daemon prince and quell the chaos before it's allowed to start."
>'Twilight' throws open the door as you all move into it, revealing the room that Discord's prepared for his ascension
>An obvious shrine to Tzeentch dominates the back end of the room, casting a perverted blue glow across the entire scene of iron chains and spikes and other heretical symbols drawn in blood and leaving Discord's form cloaked ominously in shadow as he does something before the altar
>Without turning around, the daemon begins to address you all
<"I knew you would all make it up here, but I had planned for that anyway. I'd also deal with you all myself, but I have... Other matters to attend to, so that all of my plans can turn out just as fruitful as this one!"
>As it finishes saying all of this, it lifts up what appears to be a struggling bird and cuts its head off in one swift motion all at once
>As the blood hits the altar before you all, the monster also begins saying something alien
<"beW nupS eht fo iarroC egnahC fo droL ,eeht nommus I!"
>The entire room begins to shake around you all as Discord teleports away, leaving you all alone with the altar and the massive being now climbing out of its center
>After the creature finishes climbing out, it stands up to its full height on two avian legs and brandishes a gold scepter in its talons as its long, feathered neck cranes up to reveal a beak resting underneath a hood that extends the length of the Greater Daemon's body, all the way down to its long, lizard-like tail
>It's a Lord of Change
>The daemon doesn't even wait for you all to react, waving its scepter across the air in front of it and creating a massive scythe of pure warp energy before sending it towards you all
>A purple flash appears before you as you begin ducking out of the way, prompting you to look up and see that 'Twilight' managed to catch the blade with her own power and is now holding it at bay
>The daemon shows some surprise at this, but begins readying another attack
>However, you're now ready to counterattack yourself!
>You grab hold of your combat knife and throw it at the daemon's torso where it manages to embed smoothly and slightly stumble the beast in the process
>As such, it turns its attention from 'Twilight' and on to you for the target of its next spell
>You begin running along the wall, bringing its attack away from your allies to buy them some time for a response
>Once you've reached what you think is a satisfactory distance, you duck behind one of the many large spikes present around the room and begin firing more bolts at it from some reasonable cover
>This keeps the daemon's attention until it finishes casting its spell, upon which the spike in front of you is vaporized and you're blown back into the wall
>The Lord of Change begins charging another spell, but 'Twilight' comes to your rescue again with a large blast of energy directed precisely at the creature
>It staggers again under the weight of the attack as 'Twilight' shapes the blast into a refined beam, but it soon regains enough of its balance to begin blocking it with a barrier of warp fire
>By this point though, you've managed to sneak around behind it and are in a prime position to ambush it!
>Taking the opportunity you've been given, you begin unloading a fresh magazine's worth of bolter fire into the creature's back as you charge it
>It reacts fairly quickly, but by the time it gets around to blocking you off too, you're already close enough to turn this fight into a melee
>So, you do!

>>268161

>You put your bolter away in one fluid motion as you pull out your chainsword, revving it and slamming it into the Lord of Change's side
>As you do so, you feel the rotating adamantium teeth of the chainsword bite into the monster before you and begin spraying warp energy from the hole you're now excavating in it
>Not wanting to give up just yet, the Lord of Change begins to claw at you
>You barely jump out of the way, but almost lose your grip on the chainsword
>It keeps swiping at you and you keep barely jumping out of the way, but you realize two things
>One, it's only using one arm so that it can keep the warp fire barrier up
>Two, its reach with that one arm is pretty shit since you're behind it
>It attempts a few more swipes at you, but Lords of Change aren't very good at any sort of fighting that isn't long-range warp-fuckery to begin with, so you're able to dodge its swings fairly easily from now on
>After a few more painstaking seconds of dodging the talons of a Lord of Change while maintaining your grip on your chainsword, the daemon lets out a horrid screech of pain as you finally sever its torso from its legs
>Upon this happening, it also loses its grip on the warp fire barrier it's been casting, causing the barrier to disintegrate and letting Twilight finish the creature off with a final blast to the head
>The beam pierces not only through the head of the Lord of Change, but also through the ceiling behind you both and creates a very large opening
>As the warp-dust begins settling from the battle, you retrieve your knife and dust it off before putting it back in its sheath and rejoining your party
>"He only went to the floor above, with that hole in the ceiling I can easily get us up there."
>Huh, didn't even need to ask!
"Before that, is everyone alright?"
>"Ah'm fine."
>"Me too."
>"Some minor scratches, but nothing serious."
>"What was that thing? It looked like a bird, but it really REALLY wasn't!"
>You'd wait for 'Fluttershy' to respond, but it appears to be in some kind of a trance
>So, you give 'Pinkie' a reply while moving towards 'Fluttershy' to administer what first-aid you can
"A greater Daemon, known as a Lord of Change. They are also servants of Tzeentch, holding a large fragment of his power."
>You kneel down before the yellow xenos, carefully inspecting it for any wounds
>After coming to the conclusion that it's perfectly fine, you are left without any idea as to why it's like this
"Do any of you know why this one's like this?"
>This seems to snap 'Fluttershy' out of its trance, seeing as you get a response directly
>"I-I'm just... A bit shaken. Let's just- let's go, okay?"
>The yellow xenos begins walking towards the hole in the ceiling with the others as you are pulled aside by 'Twilight'
>"Discord was a friend of ours before all this started, but he was her friend more than he was any of ours. She probably won't be back to herself until he's back to himself too."
"As long as this attachment doesn't stop her from doing her duty, it can be overlooked."
>'Twilight' nods as you both walk back over to the others
>"Are we all ready to teleport?"
>You drop your empty mags and nod
>"We were ready to begin with, Twi! Let's go!"
>The violet xenos accepts the words of 'Rainbow' as everybody's acceptance, teleporting you all to the next level
>Once you all appear there in another flash of violet, you take in the scene before you
>The very top of this tower of madness, wind howling around you all with the daemon you're here to kill standing on a ziggurat and facing away from you beneath a yawning opening swirling with warp energy
>Even from this far off, you can see that the Ruinous Powers have left their marks on him
>Its physical form is no longer even stable, with his limbs shifting and changing before your very eyes
>It even seems to fade out slightly at the edge of his shape, every so-often letting a small bead of his body float off and dissipate without any noticeable change to his overall size
>All this changes though when a radiant blue beam strikes him from the portal above, showering it in harsh, blinding light as its form is solidified under its pressure and power
>As the beam begins to shrink and fizzle out, you see the monster turn around and expose its full form to you all
>Now sporting may more avian features, the creature's body appears to now be more of a chimera than before
>Its goat head now holding a beak, both wings on its back now belonging to a raven, even the tail previously studded with scales now shines with lustrous feathers
>But the true centerpiece to the chaotic form before you is embedded into the flesh of its chest
>A single blue eye, glaring directly into your soul

>>268162

>Once again, without being prompted, the daemon speaks
<"I'm a bit surprised that you made it past that last encounter, but a plan's always more fun when it starts going off the rails a bit! Besides, that just means I get the fun of killing you all myself!"
>Your companions respond to this by stepping forward and beginning their ritual
>"Discord, we're putting you back into stone until you can be brought back to your senses! If you have anything else to say, say it now while you still can!"
>All of the xenos before you begin levitating within an aura projected by 'Twilight' as they begin changing themselves to harness the power they need, all the while the daemon begins laughing to itself
>The aura around your companions begins to glow brighter and brighter as more energy is gathered within the sphere now being projected around them, soon reaching a point where you can no longer look directly at it
>All the while, the daemon's laughter has grown to manic levels as it now begins clutching its midsection and pointing at them mockingly
>After another tense moment, all the gathered energy is released in a blinding, multicolored beam that impacts the daemon before you all
>As 'Twilight' said would happen, the daemon begins petrifying, all the while continuing its cackling until it physically can't due to its mouth freezing open
>Once this is over, the cackling begins to echo and die out as your companions drop to the floor again and revert back to their normal forms
>After another few moments, 'Twilight' turns to all of you and begins speaking
>"Well, now we just have to report this to Princess Celestia and it'll all be over."
"No. The daemon must be banished back to the warp, otherwise it will find some way to return."
>"Are you sure? The only ones who can break Discord back out are us, and we aren't doing that any time soon."
"Chaos's machinations are far-reaching and all-consuming. It may take years or even decades, but eventually your resistance to the dark powers will be eroded and it will be released again."
>'Twilight' inhales like it's going to reply, but refrains from speaking after a moment
>You begin walking towards the statue that remains, intent on sealing the fate of the monster within once and for all, but stop yourself as you hear something
>Softly at first, almost unnoticeable if not for your superhuman senses, yet growing in volume as time passes
>Within moments, the sound grows to the point where you can hear clearly what it is
>Laughter
>Instinctively, you draw your bolter to firing position and begin sweeping the area as the laughter grows in volume, seemingly coming from all around you, until it reaches its peak and begins focusing back on one position
>The statue
>As this realization comes to you, you swivel your aim back to face the statue and notice with a nagging feeling of dread that it's now covered in blue warp fire
>As the fire burns, you turn back towards the xenos and yell a command towards them
"Take cover!"
>Within moments of you yelling that, the statue explodes, sending warp fire coated debris flying everywhere and you face down into the floor
>The pieces that hit you plink harmlessly off your armor, but if any of those pieces hit the others-
>You pick up your head and look back towards your companions, noting with a measure of relief that 'Twilight' got a shield up in time
>Now all that's left to do is confirm your suspicions
>You pick yourself back up on to one knee, once again aiming towards where the statue was, only to see the daemon freed from its prison
<"Now that wasn't very nice of you, but it definitely tickled! I hope this didn't put too much of a wrench into your plans, but you have to understand that I've got a schedule to keep to now. I'd love to mess with you all some more, but-"
>You begin unloading your bolter's remaining magazines into the monster, cutting it off with a storm of explosive shells
>However, the daemon doesn't bother to remove itself from your line of fire even as chunks of it are blown out of its body and across the area
>After your final magazine clicks empty, the creature resumes speaking
<"Are you finished now? Because if you are, I'd appreciate not being interrupted so rudely a third time now that you've already tried to kill me twice!"
>You rise up to a standing position, dropping your empty bolter and drawing your chainsword in the process
"I will continue trying as many times as it takes to send you to the hellish realm you belong to, daemon."
>You begin charging forward, chainsword raging in your hand, until you get blown backwards by a powerful shockwave
>This time, however, you keep your balance and manage to stop yourself from flying too far
>After your boots stop sliding along the ground and catch on something you can use to stop yourself, you once again begin charging at the daemon
>This time, however, you also shout something back to your companions
"If you can conduct that ritual again, do it with intent to destroy this time!"
>After a moment of hesitation, 'Twilight' calls back to you
>"I'm not sure what we can do, but I'll try to make it happen!"
>As you continue charging forward, you come to an abrupt stop about halfway there
>A psychic wall is now blocking you off from your target, leaving you unable to close the distance
>As you recover from this new development, you see something else distressing

>>268163

>The daemon is now bringing forth more blue energy from the portal hanging above you all and absorbing it
>The energy flowing out of the portal circles the monster, flowing into its open wounds, and begins growing fleshy growths that expand and patch the holes before integrating into the rest of its body properly
>You grit your teeth, sigh to yourself, and lament the fact that you aren't a Gray Knight as the wall before you dissipates once again
>You also take one last look behind you at the behest of a voice coming from there
>"I think I've worked something out, but you need to keep Discord distracted until we're ready!"
>Understood, Twilight
>You turn back to face the monster you're tasked with occupying, leveling your gaze with it
<"You're supposed to play the distraction? Well, I was going to save you for last so that I could take my time, but I guess if time's what you want!"
"Then come and fight me, daemon! Come and face one of the Emperor's Angels!"
>It strikes a pose, points one finger towards you, and uses it to beckon you forward
>So be it
>You begin charging again, chainsword still at the ready, all the way until you close to melee and swing
>The daemon tried to dodge out of the way, but it wasn't fast enough!
>You rev the chainsword harder, causing its blade to dig deeper into the right shoulder of the warpspawn all the way until it comes out the other side
>The creature stumbles back with a horrified expression, looking between its lost arm on the floor and your chainsword
>You just stare back with your helmet's in-built glare until it finally speaks to you
<"I'm not scared because I'm down an arm, I'm scared because that hurt a surprising amount! Now back up, I need a new arm."
>You barely have a moment to process the words before you're once again blasted back by a psychic shockwave and are forced to witness as more energy is pulled from the warp into the stump where the daemon's arm used to be
>The energy amasses and flows into the stump with seemingly no effect, surprisingly enough
>At least until a large mass of tentacles explodes from it and begins twisting and forming into the shape of the arm that was lost before the flesh fuses and finishes recreating what was lost
<"Now don't do that again! I just got this and it would've cost me an arm and a leg, but it was half off for the first purchase."
>Once again, you ignore everything that the daemon says and begin closing the distance
>This time though, it teleports away as soon as you begin your swing
<"If I can't trust you not to do that again even after asking nicely, then I guess I have to take matters into my own hands."
>You turn towards where the voice came from and begin charging at the daemon
>It may be all you can do, but you're going to do it well
>After a few more teleports though, you realize something
>Every time it disappears and moves somewhere else, it's getting closer to your allies!
>Hah, like you're letting that happen!
>After this realization, you stop trying to chase the daemon and instead run back to where the xenos are stationed
>Upon turning to observe their status, you see aomething mildly concerning
>'Twilight' seems to be in a state of agony, holding the elevated form you saw before while discharging a kind of psychic energy you've yet to see
>A series of black, green and magenta sparks are flying off of the protrusion on its forehead, with lightning of similar color arcing into the ground near it
>Another kind of warp attack?
>Fearing what may be happening, you hasten your return as much as you can
>After reaching a suitable position with you standing between them and your target, you begin talking
"How is the process coming? Is everything alright?"
>After a brief moment, you hear a somewhat strained reply from behind you
>"... We're fine, I'm just- Ngh! -Getting the last of it ready! Keep him off us for another minute!"
"I shall do my best, but it seems that the daemon's also noticed your progress and seeks to stop the ritual. Can you create a shield?"
>You wait for a reply, continuing to track the warpspawn as it continues to teleport around and grow gradually closer
>"... I think. It'll make this take a bit longer, but I think I can."
"Then do so, you may need it."
>As soon as the words exit your mouth, a holographic violet wall begins erecting in front of you and surrounding all of you
>The wall continues growing and curving inward, only stopping once it has met itself in the middle of the bubble it created
>As the wall finishes, you notice something else
>The daemon has vanished completely from your line of sight!
>A wave of panic briefly crosses you as you rapidly swivel your head, looking for where it went, until you find it
>Directly outside the shield, on the opposite side of it from you and 'Twilight,' staring inwards at 'Fluttershy' and raising one clawed hand to the shield
>With a single tap of a talon, the shield completely implodes, leaving everyone within it completely defenseless
>The daemon, now sneering with prideful malice, casually steps inside the boundary that was supposed to be protected and towards the xenos it had selected, a ball of warp fire already burning brightly in its other fist
>Springing back into action, you jump over 'Twilight' while the rest of the xenos are still recoiling in shock and charge over to the monster as it grasps the small yellow being within its psychic hold and raises it up befire it
<"Sorry Flutters, but I've got a new friend now."

>>268164

>The daemon raises the fist containing the warp fire, and begins winding it up to cast it into the xenos's face, blue flames streaking back against the wind as the fireball exits the talon which spawned it
>However, the warp fire dissipates immediately as the daemon's concentration is broken due to your chainsword being lodged firmly into its torso!
>Feeling the blade bite into its ethereal flesh once again, you rev the sword harder than you've ever revved it before as you plunge it as deep as you can!
>With this new development, the daemon immediately loses its grip on the xenos hovering above you and drops it back to the ground, instead opting to claw helplessly at the implement of your fury now embedded within it
>After a few more moments, you feel the daemon's flesh give even more as your sword pierces through its back, causing it to screech in pain and begin to fade around the edges again
>It doesn't take a genius to see why, either
>Beneath the strain of your blow, the blue eye placed within the daemon's chest has cracked!
>Seeing this new development, you capitalize on it even more by drawing your combat knife and digging it into the eye as well, pushing it in until the hilt bottoms out
>With the eye now all but destroyed, the daemon's attempts resume in a fury driven entirely by self preservation, each blow now covering your armor in warp fire and beginning to score and melt the ceramite
>Even your hud begins screaming warnings at you, telling you that your armor's integrity is dropping rapidly!
>This needs to be solved now
"Twilight, is the ritual ready!?"
>You hold your position as best you can while awaiting an answer
"Twilight, I cannot hold it back for much longer! Is the ritual ready!"
>".... Yes! get back and we'll handle the rest!"
"If I move, then this thing will undoubtedly kill us all!"
>"And if you don't move, you'll get hit by it too!"
"I accepted my fate long before I first came to your world. Whether you send me to it or the daemon does doesn't matter to me. Start the ritual!"
>'Twilight' doesn't respond for a moment
>In that moment, your visor cracks too
"Twilight! Now!"
>You look back to the xenos, only to see a tear fall from its eye
>"May you find the Emperor's Peace, Anonymous."
>All of the xenos then begin generating the same powerful aura, this time glowing a violent shade of red as they all begin levitating once again
>With all of the energy gathered, it's all released in a powerful beam that strikes both you and the daemon hard
>Your armor finally buckles and gives under the strain, vaporising completely and leaving you completely exposed to the harsh beam
>The daemon seems to be faring even worse though, with its entire body beginning to bubble and boil away under the intense barrage of light
>With one final scream of rage, the daemon begins a futile attempt to battle back the laser with its own warp energy, but ultimately fails as its body decomposes further
>After another second, you feel an explosion tear what's left of your body apart and, as a result, once again black out
>. . .

>Be Twilight
>Anonymous has just volunteered to keep Discord held at bay while you and your friends... Do what needs to be done
>After saying your last goodbye to him, you unleash the tide of corrupted elemental magic upon both him and Discord
>As it all begins pouring out, you notice the world around you and the portal above you all beginning to destabilize
>You've got to hurry it up!
>You push it all as hard as you can, pouring as much of the energy into the beam as you possibly can and increasing its strength
>However, with a final large explosion, the beam peters out and reveals a large crater blasted through the castle and into the ground outside with neither Anonymous nor Discord anywhere to be found
>You all did it...
>But at a cost
>You feel yourself drop out of your elemental form and collapse to the ground, but you struggle against your body as it screams in pain to get back up
>Your own weight continues to drag you down, but you struggle against it as hard as you can!
>If you get left here when this place comes apart, your friends will be stuck here too!
>You're
>Not
>Letting
>That
>Happen!
>With one final concerted effort, you push upwards with every muscle that you can and bring yourself off the ground
>As you finish pushing yourself back to a standing position, you see that the destabilization of everything has only sped up
"Everypony, get over! I'm teleporting us out so we don't get erased along with everything else in here!"
>All of your friends also finish struggling to their hooves and crowd around you as you begin the teleportation spell
>As the spell begins charging, you feel yourself struggle to push the spell to completion
>You may not even have the magic left to cast it!
>No!
>Unacceptable!
>It's one thing if you get left here to be torn apart with everything else, but not your friends!
>You push your mana pool to its absolute breaking point, pouring every ounce of what you have left into the spell as you begin seeing the world fade inwards from the horizon
>Beyond it, you see the same oblivion resting above you through the fading portal
>With a newfound sense of desperation, you push yourself beyond your limit and scrape together just enough mana to cast the spell!
>With every ounce of what you can gather, you cast the spell and bring all of you back to the safety of Equestria
>Now, back within the walls of your castle, you allow yourself to collapse
>. . .

>>268165

>Be Anonymous
>You awaken to a new feeling
>A feeling not unlike pins and needles, a sort of...
>Sensitive numbness?
>Whatever it is, it's an odd feeling
>You'd like to muse more on this, but you hear something near you
>Slow clapping
>Slow clapping and a voice
<"Congratulations, you delayed the inevitable! I bet you're so proud of yourself, having gotten us both killed. The difference between us, though, is that I can kill you again and then just come back once the time is right!"
>You open your eyes, revealing the twisted hellscape surrounding you and the monstrosity before you
>The daemon you just got done killing now stands before you, looking stronger than it did before and bearing a grin twisted with anger
<"The best part of all this? I have all the power I want here, while you're just another soul waiting to be fed to the never-ending tide of chaos!"
>The monster picks you up off the floor and holds you aloft, warp fire beginning to cut through the numbness and burn what's left of you
>However, the blue sting of the warp fire is replaced by a cool golden glow permeating you and beginning to burn the daemon before you
>"That's where you're wrong, daemon. That soul is mine to collect and mine alone!"
>You look towards the source of such an imposing voice only to find a giant of a man clad in golden armor
>It's the Emperor of Mankind!
>The daemon turns towards the Emperor too, and upon seeing his glowing visage, drops you and begins shielding itself from his healing light
>It looks as if it's trying to find some way to get away and still destroy what's left of you, but it's soon forcefully removed with a wave of the Emperor's hand
>With the threat to your life now gone, the Emperor walks up to you and pulls you off the floor, giving you a true incorporeal body
>"There, that should give you some measure of mobility. Come, there's much to do and I've already told you about what needs to be done in the labyrinth."
>Wait
>The labyrinth?
>The Emperor turns back to you, smiling proudly
>"Yes, that was me. I take that form whenever I want to mess with Tzeentch, but the sentient cephalopod still hasn't figured out it's me. Anyway, I'll be happy to answer any of your other questions while we're walking to where we need to go."
>You begin thinking about whether or not you can talk as a soul, but find that the words come out almost as naturally as you would speak before
"So... If this is the warp and the daemon I helped to kill is here too, does that mean I'm dead?"
>"Yes, and it was one of the more valiant deaths I've seen one of my atartes experience. That is why you're now being granted My Peace."
"Do not all loyal brothers experience your peace?"
>"All fallen humans loyal to the Imperium experience peace, but only a select few get to experience My peace."
"Then what is the difference?"
>"The difference is that I feel no peace and refuse to do so until the enemies of mankind are wiped out. Those who get to experience My Peace are those who are worthy of continuing the fight to do so even after they've already fallen, and the part you played in saving a world from the touch of chaos certainly earns you the right."
>So even in death must you fight on for humanity
"But how will I do this?"
>"I'm sure you've heard of an ever elusive legion whose members are wreathed in flame as they fight for humanity when all else seems lost, have you not?"
"The Legion of the Damned?"
>"You may know them as that, but I refer to them as The Emperor's Chosen. Now, we've arrived, so grab your armor and go meet your new squad."
>The Emperor gestures down behind you, so you turn to reveal a glowing golden stand holding your new equipment
>A jet-black set of armor, a bolter, and a chainsword all of the same pattern you had before dying
>You reach out to put them on, but find that they're all already equipped the second you touch them
>As you look down to inspect yourself, you see your armor ignite upon you and begin coating itself in the fire that your new legion is known for
>You turn back to thank the Emperor, but see that he has already left
>You also see that the twisted hellscape that you were in is now an irridescent golden palace outfitted with intricate details and sprawling out as far as you can see in any direction
>You turn around in place attempting to grasp the sheer magnitude of it all, only to see a door manifest before you
>So, you pull it open and go inside
>The Emperor's Peace awaits you on the other side, after all.

>>268166

>Be Twilight
>You awaken from a fitful slumber to an unfamiliar sight
>A strange ceiling atop a strange room, full of strange objects and even a strange pony
>You try to sit up, but decide not to after your body groans at you to stay lying in bed
>Upon seeing you move, the pony hurriedly moves to your side and begins talking
>"Princess Twilight! Please don't try to move, you're still recovering from... Well, from whatever happened that made you discharge your entire mana pool all at once, so please take it easy."
"How long have I been out?"
>"34 days and some change, but don't worry, your friends and everything else are fine thanks to your efforts."
>Well, at least you have some good news to come back to
"Where am I?"
>"You're in Canterlot, the castle's own infirmary. You've been transferred here from Ponyville General Hospital at Princess Celestia's request, but she wouldn't elaborate as to why."
"Then can you go ask her for me?"
>"You can ask me yourself."
>You look over from the nurse at your side to the doorway, now fully occupied by Princess Celestia
>"Would you mind leaving us alone, nurse? I have some matters that I'd like to discuss privately with Twilight, if that's alright."
>The nurst hastily bows and nods, leaving the room after Celestia enters it completely and shutting the door behind her
>Once the door is closed, the princess casts a spell of sound blockage across the room and takes a seat at your side
>"I'm not sure what happened in there, but it seems that you and your friends have saved the world yet again! The prophetic nightmares have stopped and life has returned to normal."
>The princess looks as if she wants to continue, but she stops before doing so
>After a few moments of processing and then waiting for her to continue, you decide to prod her on yourself
"Is there anything else that needs to be said?"
>"Yes, but that can wait until you're completely healed. I don't want to put any extra stress on you, so just concentrate on getting better and I'll handle it until you get back."
>Saying it like that's only going to stress you more!
>You sigh to yourself as Celestia gets back up and exits the room, letting the nurse back in
"So, how long before I'm discharged?"
>"In your current state, I'd say a week."
>You slump your shoulders and groan at the thought, but ultimately bear it
>The next week is spent in bed, either reading or getting visited by family and friends alike, and pondering what exactly Celestia wants to tell you
>As soon as you're given the clean bill of health, you immediately teleport to Celestia's office without any hesitation
"Alright, what do you need to tell me?"
>Once again, the princess clears her desk of paper and casts a spell of sound blockage across the room
>"The royal astronomers saw something happen at the edge of our solar system two weeks ago. They described it as a hole being torn in reality itself, but they saw nothing else happen from it. However, three days before you woke up, a large object was found moving through space towards the center of our solar system from a vector consistent with the tear's location. Since then, it's passed all the way through the asteroid belt and is approaching our planet. As if that wasn't enough, it's also been hailing out on every available radio frequency we know of."
>Could it be?
>A thousand possibilities of what's to come all shoot through your mind while Celestia pulls a picture and record out of a nearby stack of papers
>"This is an image of the object that one of the astronomers managed to catch, I'm sure you'll find it familiar. This is also a recording of one of their messages, it should also be something you know."
>The record is set to play and the picture is set down before you, and as you inspect the object and listen to what's being said, you are brought a measure of relief from the horrors of your imagination
>You look upon the picture and see an unmistakable Imperial vessel, one no-doubt belonging to more of those humans that Anonymous called his brothers
>In your ears, the record scratches a mildly distorted, but clear message to you and the creatures of Equus
>"Attention, this is the Imperial Battle Barge 'Dorn's First Light.' We have been informed of a settlement here, so we have come to bring you into the Imperium of Man. Prepare, for you will soon be brought into the Emperor's light."

-=]End[=-

>>268167
Realized that I haven't had name on this whole time... Well, either way, that's it for now. If anyone ends up reading this, then I hope you liked it. If not, then bitch and moan to me and I'll probably see it.

Well, I'll now read a bit on it and comment on it but this is quite long and I don't have the time. I'm writing something myself.

>>268620
Okay, will read the entire thing. It seems fun.

Your style is different than mine so I don't know if it makes sense for me to comment on it. Like, we are almost opposites of each other when it comes ot certain things in presentation. Even if I were to write the same story with the same substance it would have turnout radically different to read.

I'm obiously bias towards my style. I can also see moments were your style is more fitting than mind and were I think my style is more fitting than yours.

>>268136
>one of those other organs on its forehead
No. A horn is not some mythical thing. He should know what that is.

>>268146
Ugh. So Discord still haven't learnt? One think he would have remember Tirek's betrayal from last time. But no. What's this? A disembodied voice promising me powers? What could possibly be the catch?
It is a bit contrived.

>>268147
I'm here now.

>>268038
Can't believe I never commented. Thank you Placeholder for the most excellent green. I do like the fact the Emperor of Mankind fucks with the chaos fucker for the lols.
RIP royal guards you did your duty even if it came at the ultimate price.
>>268169
While I would have liked to see some chaos vs chaos action everything holds up nicely.
>>268629
It does provide a good point of contact for the crossover.

>>268623
Thanks for reading, Sven! Sorry it took me this long to get back here, I didn't expect anything after I finished it but I've been proven wrong and pleasantly surprised!

>>268629
Yeah, now that you've mentioned it, I can see the problem there. I was trying to make it happen similarly to the TTS cutaway where Tzeentch ends up duping Magnus into breaking into the webway, but I wasn't able to pull it off as well.

>>268633
>Spoiler 1
I'm glad you did, I try to keep some light-heartedness in things when they get especially down, so I guess I did it right.
>Spoiler 2
Now that you say that, I probably could've solved Sven's problems with that addition. Oh well, hindsight and all. I'll keep all that in mind if I ever decide to build more on this, and I'll keep on trying to do what you liked and stop doing what you disliked.

I guess I have to formally add this to my pastebin now that people actually read it... Huh

>>268867
Do you feel up for a lowkey collab? I would like to do a writing chain or writing tennis thing started; a thing were you/me write the first section and then the other person writes the next and the first person writes the next section and so it continues.

If you're up for it feel free to start or tell me you want me to write hte first section. The sections don't need to be long or intelligently written. It's just a fun experiment were we have to leave setups that can either be used the next writer for a payoff or not (we don't have to finish everysetup the other one make but as long as we act as what happened in the previous sections are canon it is all fine.)

>>269137
Sure thing, I'm always down for something interesting. Thancc for patience, by the way, I have been bogged down with finals for a little over a week and I just saw this. So, who goes first?

>>269876
Well, you can begin. I'd like an adventure story with anon as the mc and if you could set up a goal for him to acomplish as well, that would be great. However, I'm fine with wahtever you write so feel no pressure, just write whatever comes to mind. Just telling you my prefrences,.

>>269881
Alrighty m8, I'll get to thinking!

>>269990
>thinking
Just don't over think for this. The fist tiem I did this with someone I just had a character mention that Anon was with Daring Do who's mission was to bring a secret scroll to Celestia. Canada then filled in with what Anon's motivation was for helping daring do. In this case, he was being paid before, and was a mareinizer before he got more serious leraning of the contents of the scroll.
So I actually like to retract what I said about my prefrences. That's just how that story was doesn't mean it is the only way to do this. In fact, none of this abopve you need to follow. I neither you or I have any idea where the story might be goping from hte begining tha's fine, we'll figure that out on the way.

>>270069
I'll try not to overthink and take your advice here, but I'm still running with your earlier recommendation because it's better than my complete lack of ideas.

>>270081
I know what you mean. It feels like every idea you create is not good enough. I think it really is to just not get hung up on the tropes you use being overused or silly but instead focus on making it good.

For example, I have been looking at mlp transcript from the first seasons lately and found that you can learn a lot from these stories. A story is justa problem that character solves, an arc isn't even always needed, and they finally solve it. Simple does not mean bad.

Anyway, this is one of the threee writing things I'll juggle nowdays. The other two are part of roleplaying in occupied Equestria and writing on a project that I put more effort in than this one.
Basically, I don't think you should put too much effort into this because I won't.

>>270083
>don't put in too much effort
m8 either I put in effort or I make a 4-line shitpost, I haven't found the ability to do a happy medium yet!

>>270081
For example, your latest story about sargent Anon is an example that inspire me. It is quite simple but it was still enjoyable and I respect that you stuck with. Don't get me wrong, it isn't bad. What I mean with simple is that yeah, plot is that Anon gets displaced in Equestria and the rest is slice of life for a while before the horrors he came from hunts him down in peaceful Equestira. Like, I who have been in this fandom since s2 e1 has read this many times before. But it is about how you do it that seperates it and as I said, I still enjoyed your story.

>>270084
I can relate. It is hard when one is an perfectionist. I guess, just don't double guess yourself.

>>270085
I appreciate the further compliments, it really helps me stroke my e-peen. More seriously, what I meant by I have no ideas is that my brain felt completely empty so I just decided to go with your adventure suggestion to kick off the process. I still managed to put down something that I think is pretty good in this time, so don't worry. Speaking of...

"I'm taken from my home in the middle of the night and dropped out in the middle of fucking nowhere... Could this shit get any worse?" Anonymous thinks to himself as he sits next to a fire, burning peacefully in the crudely made pit before him.
Today has not been the best in his relatively short life so far, and currently, he'd actually rank it as one of the worst. Despite being an avid camper and survivalist, he still reacts much like any other person would when faced with such a scenario: spend the first hour or so pissing and moaning before actually trying to figure out a solution. So far, his solution has been an educated move from what he's learned over the years, which is to stay put and wait for help while doing what he can to bring it to him, but he hasn't seen even a trace of another human yet. At least he seems to have landed in a particularly hospitable area, as there was a source of fresh water nearby while small game has also been relatively abundant here.
"Oh well, I can get to work on a signal of some sort tomorrow. I wish whoever fucking did this at least had the decency to give me something to work with in the meantime, starting from scratch is not my specialty."
He pokes at the fire before him with a lightly charred stick while pondering what tool would best aid him in this scenario
"Well, a container of some kind would've let me carry water. If I had a lighter or something, I wouldn't have had to go to the effort of spinning a stick to light a fire... However, if there was something I was missing purely for comfort's sake, it would have to be boots."
Anonymous punctuates his thought by casting a sad look down at his feet, lamenting the fact that he's stuck with the shitty pair of shoes he wears when it's cold inside. At least it's better than nothing at all, but it surely isn't ideal.
With nothing better to do to pass time, Anonymous decides to retire to the small structure he built to provide himself with shelter through the night and call it just that. However, just as he gets settled within his humble amassment of tree-based materials, he notices something. A strange sound seems to resonate in the air around him, first starting as more of a loose vibration permeating the wood of his hovel, but soon straining and quaking to the point that audible snaps and cracks can be heard around him! Heavily concerned about what exactly is happening, Anonymous springs up and out of his prone position and back out into the night just in time to see the tiny wooden frame collapse before somehow beginning to rebuild itself. Mesmerized by this event, our hero stands in awe as the wood begins moving of its own accord and rebuilding itself into something distinctly unnatural. After a few more moments, the wood settles into the form it wishes to take and becomes surprisingly animalistic in shape, now looking more like a common wolf but sculpted from timber yard rejects.
Taking a moment to let this all settle in, Anonymous stands still and waits for his mind to catch up with his surroundings, pretty much the exact opposite thing you should do when faced with something like this as opposed to getting the fuck out of there, while the wooden wolf-thing stands there and looks around in mild bewilderment of its own at having been removed from its own place of rest unknowingly to arrive at a new fate. What this fate will be it likely doesn't know, but it probably will be much like its previous one albeit starting about 300 feet to the north. Once the creature finds this out for itself, it soon turns towards the only other thing in the environment, Anonymous. Taking a moment to size him up, it elects to not face him in one-on-one combat especially with the fire nearby, and instead bounds off back into the woods.
After another moment, Anonymous's brain finally catches up to the string of events that just took place and gives him back control over his body as well as the quick rundown on what just happened. The structure he made to sleep in for the night shape shifted into a wolf, ran away, and left him without shelter for the night. The fact that it shape shifted alone leaves Anonymous completely stunned and at a loss for what to do lest his next house get up and walk away too, so seeing no other alternatives, he sits back down next to the fire and utters a single word.
"Fuck."

>>270086
Will post soon.

>>270086
Anonymous rubs his forehead with two fingers.

What the fuck?

The previous events are played over and over again in half of Anon's mind while the other half is straining his eyes to look into the woods where the creature disappeared. His eyes glanced to where his shelter had been and back again to where the wolf had disappeared. His eyes extend their search by scanning around him as well. Looking closely for the reappearance of the wolf.

He looks down into the palm of his hand. In it was a small scratch that he had gotten from one of the sharp sticks while building the shelter. It had been annoying then, now it was terrifying and also reassuring. He wasn't mad and hadn't imagined things but he was in the same woods as a monster.

His head snapped to the fire. It was still going strong. Looking around he found a rather thick tree branch that reminded him of a trident that it began as a stick and branched out at the other end. He put it down next to the fire but did not lit it on fire yet.

Is that enough? Can I defend myself with that alone if it comes back?

The creaking of wood made his head turned towards the source. He turned to his left and ended up starring into the darkness between trees, not sure if he was imagining shapes or not.

He began to wipe around to every sound that he heard. Some part of him thought it was just the tree crowns creaking in the wind but... Considering that what was out there was made of wood, he wasn't too sure.

”Haa... Haa... Hooo...”

Anon was sweating bullets and he waggled back and forth where he stood. He could not sleep here.

Then he froze. Two green orbs that shone weakly in the darkness stared at him. He saw how the green orbs in the shadow of the trees attached to a dark shape. It was the tree wolf from before.

”HA-” Anon interrupted his gasp by clogging it shut with his palm.

Without moving his head his eyes peered down at the stick and then back up at the wolf again. His fingers dug into his cheeks as he saw two more pairs of eyes behind the first.

The three wooden wolfs walked slowly out of the shadow of the darkness and into the light of the fire. There the wolves gave the fire a sideways glance before beginning to circle it.

Anon stuck the branching side of the stick into the flames and then reached out into the path of one of the wolves. The wolf in question flinched back and the other three stopped. However, the flames had not yet caught on to the branch and the thrust towards the wolf extinguished them.

Anon's mouth gaped. He dropped the branch but quickly dove down to the fire and grabbed the only firewood which wasn't burning on both ends. He had put that one on last.

He grabbed the unburnt side of it and with an extended arm, he put it between him and the lone wolf that had gone around from his right side. It stopped its advance at him stood ready to pounce at him and growled at him.

He was about to move forward to keep the two other wolves coming around from the other side of the fire between him and the fire in a similar fashion that he kept the wolf in front of him at bay but then he noticed how one of the other wolves had turned back was circling from the other side of the fire, at a safe distance of course but still. He did not have enough fires to keep three wolves at bay.

It was clear now, that these wolves were intelligent and used to work as a team. The wolf in front of him had moved a bit forward again. It was trying to herd him so that he had the other two wolves behind him.

It was like one of his heartbeats hammered ice and shattered and send its shards through his body. His head hung forward and his eyes were wide. He grabbed onto the fabric of the shirt over his chest. He let out a whining sound.

His face shook for a second before it contorted into that of rage. He smacked himself in the head with his free hand and roared. Then he spun around and kicked off one of the burning firewoods and lobbed it straight at the closest wolf behind him, right towards their face.

The wolf dodge rolled out of the way. It smashed into the ground and were upon the sticks, branches, and twigs that made up its front paws and wooden ribs scattered on the ground. But green light eminated around them and it began to reassemble itself again.

Anon wasn't watching though, as fast as he had kicked the firewood, he had turned back to the wolf he was fending off and lunged at it. It also jumped aside with fear for the fire but it managed to land on its feet unscathed.

Realizing his opportunity, Anon ran. The two whole wolves followed suit.