/vx/ - Videogames and Paranormal


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sketch__29__steampunk_by_hunternif-d9b33w3.jpg
Mass Transit Nuts
Anonymous
ymqgH
?
No.42116
42119 42121
Well how about that,... air pirates. And they call their ship a derivative of "Cunt" too. I wonder if there's a connection, GM says dryly.
This leg of the game has the players either onboard or somewhere in the vicinity of the 'random' pirate airship that has taken to firing upon Trump Tower, as well as several of the characters. Unfortunately, a spell-caster onboard has placed a spell of Peace on the ship, and now there's a shimmering wall of force surrounding the captain.
Thez is hovering about 45deg from the front, ready to attack. Lenos is preparing for a Meteor Swarm, Infernius is speeding toward the ship, and Torcuil said "Fuck the Bullshit" and just teleported to it.
Trump wants to engage in diplomacy, but he rolled a 1 so he has to wait, and Tracy can't stab at ALL, which is an entirely new sensation for her.
1185 replies and 136 files omitted.
Anonymous
WjJfm
?
No.43366
43367
>>43365
>twice Fae's speed
No she's not
Mrs. Sentry
lK8Ew
?
No.43367
43369 43370
>>43366
She is with her horseshoes.
WjJfm
?
No.43368
43372
[2d20 = 18]
>>43365
*quick draws keen-edged letter opener*

*Stabs at medusa tentacles*
Mrs. Sentry
lK8Ew
?
No.43369
43371
>>43367
>>43364
Let's see where he goes though.
*tentacles flail*
Anonymous
WjJfm
?
No.43370
43372
>>43367
What are you alleging her ground speed to be?
Anonymous
WjJfm
?
No.43371
43372
>>43369
>Implying you don't know the answer to that question
Mrs. Sentry
lK8Ew
?
No.43372
43373 43375
>>43368
You slash the tentacle clean off.. but they just grow back, two-fold! The hydra-hairs wriggle in pain and fury with an eldritch hissing sound.
>>43370
Last time I heard it was 50 base speed, but idk.
>>43371
Bring us there.
Anonymous
WjJfm
?
No.43373
43374 43375
>>43372
>Hydra fluff
reeeee!!!!

Tracy finds the trail leads her down into Port Barry. Across the bridge where the activist judge was killed - again, through the Northern Gate. Past around empty lots and new developments. Past the monastery. And then... to Mile High stadium
Mrs. Sentry
lK8Ew
?
No.43374
43375
>>43373
Tracy continues to pursue her husband, her gargantuan mass of fluff wriggling in every direction.
"....~Flaaaaaaaaaaaashyyyyyyy..!"
Anonymous
WjJfm
?
No.43375
43376
81c 7rxGuML._SY450_.jpg
>>43372
>>43373
>>43374
Through the front gate, past the ticket booth. Cuts through some doors onto the lower level. Onto the field, and - what's that you see over by the 50 yard line? A Gatorade water keg?
Mrs. Sentry
lK8Ew
?
No.43376
43377
>>43375
*tentacles reach out and grab the kek, the wriggling monstrous hairs parched for fluids of any kind*
Anonymous
WjJfm
?
No.43377
>>43376
It does have the electrolytes plants crave
Anonymous
WjJfm
?
No.43378
43380
"Sanctus Footballus Elwayus Americanus" They say in unison
Anonymous
+HpHa
?
No.43379
I think the mad bastard actually pulled it off
Mrs. Sentry
lK8Ew
?
No.43380
43382 43384
>>43378
*tentacle heads turn towards the voices, with an eldritch hissing hsound*
Mrs. Sentry
lK8Ew
?
No.43381
>>43334
Oooh Pali
Mrs. Sentry
lK8Ew
?
No.43382
43383
>>43380
The gargantuan expanding mass of man-eating fluff barrels towards the source of the sound.
Mrs. Sentry
lK8Ew
?
No.43383
43384
>>43382
"~Flaaaashy... Come out now... My fluff won't hurt you, ~silly.. Don't you want to cuddle?"
Anonymous
WjJfm
?
No.43384
43385 43387
Praise Elway.jpg
>>43380
>>43383
Trumpaladin and Fae now turn to face the Tentacle monster. They grab the keg, already grabbed and elevated by the tentacle monster, elevating it higher, and removing the lid

They stare down the tentacles
"Oh blessed Elway, who art football, who created the universe with that Football he stole from Peyton Manning, and who was the very first to cum inside rainbow dash, and did so from the 30 yard line, bless this holy gatorade that purifies. For as we anoint our super bowl victors with it, so to do we cleanse evil with its holy electrolytes"

Pours Holy Gatorade onto tentacles, pony, pony fluff, and into open mouths
Mrs. Sentry
lK8Ew
?
No.43385
43386
>>43384
'reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee' Go the sentient hair tentacle, as half of the colossal mass is burned away by the holy nectar
Anonymous
WjJfm
?
No.43386
43388
>>43385
"Praise be to Elway" as Trumpaladin and Fae drink holy Gatorade from red solo cups, and several Generals come in with with more kegs of the blessed electrolyte-filled liquid
Mrs. Sentry
lK8Ew
?
No.43387
43388 43391
>>43384
In a last-ditch effort, the remaining half of fiendish fluff reaches out to grab the paladin.
"....Become one with me, Flashy.. We'll rule the Plane of Fluffiness together..! Come with me, and I will make you God Emperor..."
*tentacles bow their heads, as two tiny green lights shine through the colossal jungle of fluff*
lK8Ew
?
No.43388
43389 43391
[3000d20 = 31372]
>>43386
>>43387
Also, there's 6 gorrillion tentacles, any you only burned 3 gorrilion, so the remaining half make grapple checks.
>site won't let me roll 3 gorrilion, so rolling 3000
Anonymous
+HpHa
?
No.43389
43392 43394
>>43388
>3rd dice roll is a 3
The rest are fail cuz fumble
Anonymous
+HpHa
?
No.43390
43392
*a 1

Anonymous
WjJfm
?
No.43391
43393
Fae is having none of this.jpg
>>43387
Trumpaladin hears the offer. He ponders the offer. He starts to speak...

And then Fae and two Generals poor more Gatorade onto the fluff "Back to /qa/ where you belong tentacle monsters. This is a Broncos Neighborhood

*Fae glares at Trumpaladin*

>>43388
*Pours more Gatorade*
"We got a hell of a lot more red solo cups where that came from," the sexually frustrated kitty priestess proclaims
Mrs. Sentry
lK8Ew
?
No.43392
43394
940674__safe_artist-colon-accu_artist-colon-candy-dash-muffin_edit_oc_oc-colon-aryanne_oc only_earth pony_eyes closed_female_floppy ears_laughing_open .png
>>43390
>>43389
My sides!
Mrs. Sentry
lK8Ew
?
No.43393
>>43391
*tentacles flail, wriggle and scream in pain, appearing not unlike salted snails.
'reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee'
Mrs. Sentry
lK8Ew
?
No.43394
43395
1ba7d40ec1e236a89660f210b6d117e1.jpg
>>43392
>>43389


Anonymous
+HpHa
?
No.43395
43396
>>43394
That 17 is a good roll though. Is crazy-tentacle-Tracy(?) holding on for dear life?
Mrs. Sentry
lK8Ew
?
No.43396
>>43395
Of course it is. It's not letting go any time soon.

*tentacle suspends Trumpladin high in the air flailing him around, but seemingly unable to absorb him without the combined fluff of its sisters*
It lets out a tenacious hissing sound.
Anonymous
WjJfm
?
No.43397
43399
"Oh Blessed Elway, give me guidance"

*Fae sprinkles more holy Gatorade from a red solo cup onto Tracy, splashing her in the face*
Anonymous
WjJfm
?
No.43398
43400
"O Football, creator of Love and Life, ye who hath banished Basketball and the Oakland Raiders from thy sight, and expunged all false football from thy Heaven, hear now the prayer of your humble servant"
Mrs. Sentry
lK8Ew
?
No.43399
43401 43404
>>43397
"Ack!"
*tentacle collapses, dropping Trumpaladin on top of Tracy before fizzling away*
Mrs. Sentry
lK8Ew
?
No.43400
43404
>>43398
[gatorade-smelling pony noises]
*shivers*
Anonymous
+HpHa
?
No.43401
43402
>>43399
Tentacle is also deafened, for as Trump spoke the holy word of Football in such context, he did speak the holy word, which if the tentacle stuffs were to be considered equal HD (which they probably wouldn't be) then the minimal side affect is deafness (temporary)
Mrs. Sentry
lK8Ew
?
No.43402
43403 43404
>>43401
[deaf tentacle noises]
*thrashes as it dissolves on the football field*
Anonymous
+HpHa
?
No.43403
43406
>>43402
Into?
Anonymous
WjJfm
?
No.43404
43405 43407
>>43399
>>43400
>>43402
Pointing at the monster/tracy, he proclaims

"This creature is evil in mine eyes, o Football. See ye this foul presence, which hath strayed from the path of Football and possibly even Baseball, going thence into Volleyball and possibly even down the path of Foosball; this presence in the world which should not be."

"I call forth the everlasting light of Football and summon His Almighty Majesty, John Elway"
Anonymous
WjJfm
?
No.43405
43408
>>43404
"Come forth, John Elway, expunge this false football from the world, journey forth from thy alternate dimension and punt this cuck over thy goal post of righteousness. Make thee now a field goal that shall resound with thy everlasting glory, and shall echo throughout the very furthest reaches of space and time; a sonic rainboom of pure Football, which is now and shall evermore be The Denver Broncos."
Mrs. Sentry
lK8Ew
?
No.43406
>>43403
Frothy slime and matted goo.
It looks like shampoo.
Mrs. Sentry
lK8Ew
?
No.43407
43412
>>43404
*shudders*
[wet pony noises]
Anonymous
+HpHa
?
No.43408
43409 43412
>>43405
A rainboom from where you might ask? From motherfucking Rainbow Dash, that's who. Learn about it, while all you cucks have been trying to come inside Rainbow Dash, this balla-supreme is the only one too 1337 that he wanted to come OUT of Rainbow Dash. And so he did, which was the penultimate birth of Football. For Football had existed, does exist, and shall exist forevermore Football, this was whence Football was to be revealed, unknown even to those of what would become Denver.
Mrs. Sentry
lK8Ew
?
No.43409
43412
>>43408
Amen.
Anonymous
+HpHa
?
No.43410
And with that <dramatic flourish> I bake
Mrs. Sentry
lK8Ew
?
No.43411
*goes to bed*
Anonymous
WjJfm
?
No.43412
43416
Elway gives his approval of Fae. Specifically, he approves of the fact that Fae is dander-free
"it's good that the lion is dander free; if there was dander involved this sort of exorcism could get complicated"

But he issues a warning to Trumpaladin
"just out of curiosity what was the dander situation with the fluffy pony that turned into the tentacle monster? I feel like you might not want to touch your eyes after that one. When I was just a small Elway, I once touched my eyes after petting a fluffy camel that was only 34% Football, and my eyes puffed up to twice the size of Peyton Manning's forhead, which caused my skull to explode, and long story short that's what created the situation that liberals are calling global warming.

I would be careful with those dander particles if I were you
sometimes they can bore your way through your eyeballs and into your brain, and if they can figure out how your brain works they might be able to control your body and make you dance a hearty jig"

Trumpaladin promptly leaves to wash his hands and clothing, and to purify it of pony dander

>>43407
Fae says

"You've never been baptized, have you?"

*poors another red solo cup onto pony*

>>43409
>>43408
Praise American
Anonymous
+HpHa
?
No.43414
https://mlpol.net/vx/res/43413.html
Mrs. Sentry
lK8Ew
?
No.43416
43419
>>43412
>He makes this speech while the piece that covers his crotch is still missing
Anonymous
WjJfm
?
No.43419
>>43416
Uh... better to cumshot ponies with?