So the party is gathered around the still smouldering piles of what remains of the (((were-rats))), except for Thez who is covered in charring and burn. "Where in hell have YOU been?" Thez asks/demands. "Fun fact folks, magic is her weakness," Lenos smirks. "I was there the whole time, but your dumb-ass couldn't detect invisibility if the spell was tattoo'd to your body!" he begins laughing at the mental image. Visibly agitated, Thez starts back into the Inn, making sure to step on a few skulls for the satisfaction, muttering something about "Where's Barry?" Lenos looks at the assembled. For such a short fellow, he's got quite the attitude. He looks at Trump and says "Let me guess, paladin? Heh, lets see how long this one lasts," looks at Tracy and idly says "No words," then Infernius "Dude," then Torcuil, "Mage? Stay outta my way," and then Yak Lee "I'll let her deal with you." He turns back to the group and sighs, while lighting a cigarette. In the background, peasants are slowly and gradually encircling the party (non-aggressively). "You guys owe me for this BTW," Lenos says, oblivious to the peasants. "Normally I don't intervene, but it was too good," he says pleasantly inhaling the odor of burned rat. "So are we gonna just stand here, or are we going inside? I could use a drink..." and as he says this, a large-ish (none of them are LARGE, but of them this one is sorta) human steps forward, leaving behind an apparent wife. "Did you do this?" he asks incredulously. Lenos's shoulders slump at the inquiry and he whips out a fancy-looking knife. "Yeah? And if I did?" he challenges. The man however, is neither insistent nor aggressive, and in fact his countenance softens at the rebuke. He turns to (his wife) and they embrace. Behind him/them, several more townspeople start to cheer and clap, with some running off to other houses to rouse their neighbors. Apparently, killing the (((rats))) consitutes a habbening. The man explains that the (((rats))) had infiltrated the town several months back, after the progenitor of the City (some dude named Korak) set off to sea. Korak and his crew had been gone for several weeks when the first of the rats started to show up in town. Immediately they began harassing the local businesses and patrons, used all manner of shady tactics and shenanigens, and ultimately either weaseled their way into possession/ownership of the major businesses in town and either intimidated or eliminated any competition. They had established a network of spies and informants, keeping 24-hour surveillance of the city, and had even taken possession of several of the ships seen docked in the harbor. Word was, they planned to spread to the hills by way of the waterways. "So,... it sounds like YOU guys owe me as well!" Lenos concludes with satisfaction. "Hey, lets finish this inside, I need a drink." He leads the party (and the guy, who kisses his wife and continues with the party in case the GM needs a resident to explain something residential. Upon re-entering the Sticky Wicket, there are several bodies strewn throughout. Some of them are contorted from various broken bones, one is a mess of gore, and of another one all that remains is a foot. Thez is seated at the bar with a 5th of something in her hand, less-than-patiently waiting for Lenos, the party, and random dude #647 to arrive. "Did you have to wait until I was in the middle of them to do that?" she asks, less but still irritated. "Have to? No. Consider that payment for the time you knocked me into a puddle of burning oil." She almost retorts, thinks for a moment, and then shrugs. She then realizes that no one (except Lee) knows who 'Lenos' is and says: "Oh right, this is Lenos Tri'Anu. He's an asshole, and if he sets you on fire, its probably deliberate. You can thank him for all the firetraps," she says with a dry expression. Lenos, diving behind the bar, emerges with a bottle of his own while muttering something about "more than firetraps".
"Oi! You've got some LONG explainin' to do ye crazy wench!" yells Vandereim from Trump's back. "I don't owe you a damn think you drunken letter-opener," Thez retorts, wry-eyed and unimpressed. "And speaking of which, maybe you haven't noticed but we're on opposite ends of the spectrum now. Shall I introduce you to my sword?" "As long as ye don't mind bein' BURIED with it!" he quips back. Thez looks at Trump. "I don't know where you found -that- but,... well you'll see." <interject Trump/Vandereim Zangetsu-moment (its like a trance if u r unfamiliar, I'll illustrate it in time)>
So in the pursuing dialogue, Thez and Lenos predominantly swap stats and observations with regard to the game reset. Thez tells of Slag's arrival and the squishing of his bug (which Lenos thinks is hilarious, cuz Slag is a twat), and Lenos describes how he was just glad someone figured out how to turn the power on. Also he comments "The ants are back btw." "Well, Cecil's not here this time (not technically true, his skull is on display in the mess hall in case he 'needs' to be resurrected), so hopefully it won't go erm,... south,...." to which he starts laughing uproariously, and even Thez can't help but giggle at. "Any sign of Palazzo?" she asks. "Nope. With luck, his schitzo-nature went off into left field again. We should be good for now." "Nice!" she says taking a phatty swig. "Oh yeah, I haven't introduced everyone else, I forget who knows what at this point," she's about 1.3 sheets. "This one,... Tracy! Tracy is good at stabbing things. She's a little weird (Thez is one to talk) but she's got fire in them hooves! This one is Trump. He can be kind of a dick, but he's decent, and he hasn't died yet. The tartan fellow over here is Torcuil, who's got some weird magicky thing goin'. This one is Infernius. He's,... sufficient," she says with a wink. "And finally there's Yak Lee," "Yeah, I've met him, he showed up while you guys were out. I sent him to you, remember?" "Oh riiiiigght. He's got some seasoning, but I think I can shape him up a whole lot more."
Peasant #647 graciously interjects, "Sorry to butt in, I really (REALLY) don't want to offend; My name is Sechs Veirseiben (Veer - see - Ben; he doesn't say that, I'm just emphasizing the joke). I know that this may seem, I hate to say submissive, but the truth is our player hasn't been heard from in a significant amount of time. I, we the townspeople, are forever in your debt for what you have done so far, but would it be improper to ask favor to call upon you in time of need? Many invaders and undesirables find their way in and around our city, such as these douchy giants with a hydra just 2 days ago. We as a people cannot possibly last against increasing threats without benefit of a Player, and without Old Captain Korak,..." he trails off for a shakespearian moment, hamming it up as it were. "We will offer you access to whatever is available at the Belligerent Gnome, as well as any of the other trade-shops, as well as any services, or gestures your fine group should require, in exchange for your protection." he slows for a moment. >services >gestures "Well, its been a long and exhausting evening so I'll just <whooof>" Thez = out w/ skis.
>>3468 Plate armor doesn't help much against giants though. It's great armor; it just doesn't make a difference against targets that large >tfw you killed two giants with nothing but some kitchen knifes
>>3468 Uhm, you hadn't started playing at that point so I won't bully. The giants r kill. U can have plate though, if that's what you want,.... >>3469 Damn near cut one of their heads off. >>3471 Okay. If Lenos hadn't napalmed them, you would have found out that the information booth rat was actually the leader. From the info booth, he kept a shrewd eye on the comers and goers. The 'something exotic' exchange was all encoded. The guy requesting was inquiring about whether or not the leader felt they should follow and/or prepare to kill/jack shit. Fish = we gonna get 'em? Regular/exotic? = Yes. Exotic = I'll see to the others. Also, the depositing of shekels was to lower your guard (which worked, you lost shekels you'll never get back, muhuhahahahah) and give legitimacy to the transaction. The rest was fishing for info by the guy, which was relayed to the Belligerent Gnome operator, who determined roughly the degree of means (which, you'll note he jizzed in his pants discretely) which reaffirmed their interest in taking advantage. So, they arranged (as have done previous) for gratis lodging at their INN. Had Trump only locked the doors, it would have gone far different, as they had keys.
So for starters, everyone leveled but don't get TOO excited. Levelling (traditionally) means 'gaining enough experience to acquire new skills and abilities. Meaning, you haven't gained the new buffs yet, and in order for that to happen you (as characters) need to find suitable resources. For example, Yak Lee will have no difficulty finding a suitable trainer, in that Thez is a monk of legendary status which has been largely lost to the ages; Thez can train (whup) monks (into shape). I recall Trump indicating a desire to Space Marine, and that's in the works, but if that is his chosen course he only gets a hp increase (for now). Tracy, being surrounded by two monks can EASILY beef her rogue-qualities, as well as backstab (Holy shit, I've been totally neglecting the backstab. More in a moment. Infernius, who expressely wanted to pursue psionics (force abilities) only needs find the correct resources or inspirational impetuses. Sorry, that's not something you can 'read into'. Torcuil has gained competence in his magic. He is no longer required to meme for ANY spell (cuz that's just silly, I recognize now) though he can augment his spells WITH memes, and there ARE still spells that require memes, and there is guaranteed to be NO books on Memetephysics, so its seat-of-ur-pants status.
Descriptively, Lenos is a 2' tall Browine (think the proportions of a slightly overweight human, except 2' tall). His hair is golden (like, golden, not "gold-ish") with streaks of black. His eyes are shimmering, like tiger's eye, and he wears a fitting embroidered robe. Belted to him is an adorned jewelled knife, and hanging from his belt is some manner of cylinder or device of unapparent origin. About him is a slightly sweet scent bordering on sulfer but not quite, and though he is permanently looking up at you, you feel as though he is looking down on you.
>Infernuis A package arrives, but the name is wrong and you are denied it's contents until the end of time. J/k, Infernuis get plate armor. >tempted to Oprah-meme >Tracy So,... you can backstab. If a strike comes from concealment then the attacker does additional damage. Up until now you've attacked from the open so it hasn't come up, but ur backstab I'd murderous (like, crit-dmg murderous, and you almost decapitated a giant last time). >Trump You have a crazy-trance-moment inbound. For effect, I'd like to do so when both are on, or I can do my best to illustrate. It's a dialogue between Trump and Vandereim. It could be postponed till later session(s) or neglected entirely if you prefer. At the very least, I should describe the ducats that have come of this progress! Being the rats r essentialy reduced to varying densities of fluid and tissue, the searching of the rats is over almost immediately: you find nothing. There are household items (clothing, leather, bits of chain, rapiers), but nothing worth any consideration. It's almost as though they wanted the premeditated satisfaction of denying their victorious opponents a lasting victory and stashed it all Just kidding, there's 3 solid gold statues upstairs c/o Torcuil. Get creative. "Plate armor" is weak. Are you looking for simple armor class or an effect?
You don't want plate armor then. You think you do, but you don't. What you want is these (a pair of bracers clunk on the counter). Plate armor sounds all fine and good, but this is as effective without encumbering the user. The bracers are quite elaborately designed, simple yet intricate with accenting stones and runes along its surface. Plate (ac +7) = Bracers of Armor +7
During previous, the shopkeeper was trying to fleece you, but now the dude will be helpful and offer suggestions to meet or improve on whatever the characters would like to accomplish, as well as ideas that will help characters consistent with their personality.
>>3489 Pretty much, except it wasn't yet giga jew. Lenos is returning from the last Game, before the reset (and you guys subsequently joining) as is Slag and Korak (though Korak has been repurposed into an NPC cuz his faggot moved away). Also Cecil, but he's just a skull. >>3491 >sharpening For that, you'll want a device thats back in the pyramid. Don't worry, it'll happen soon (especially if you still want force powers).
Also, while I appreciate the commitment to role-playing, you don't need to speak in character when describing what your character is doing. You're welcome to of course, but it will be easier for me to correctly identify what your character is seeking to accomplish, do, figure out, etc. otherwise. For example, "I want these" will result in getting "these", but indicating that Infernius is asking the clerk for his input on how to augment his equipment will be much faster and accurate to respond to. This especially with regard to fabricating and crafting magical items, as there are so goddamn many different types and effects - without incorporating homebrew (which I have) - that players should not hesitate to ask as it will speed things up significantly. >hoping to avoid spending over an hour in a shop next session Xp
>>3498 Uhhhh, well for strength (the clerk looks at you ironically) there's Bull's Strength. For Dexterity there's Cat's Grace, Eagle's Splendor - Charisma, Fox's Cunning - Intelligence, Bear's Endurance covers Constitution and Owl's Wisdom is self explanatory. Every potion is associated with (and created by) a corresponding magical spell.
... meaning, there are potions for personal protection, potions of invisibility, potions of cocaine (lul, speed), potions of,... oh here's a list: https://dnd-wiki.org/wiki/SRD:Potions Nothing over 750 gp from the list is available (but not at those prices)
>>3507 >vent Nah, posting that meme was satisfaction enough. Douches will be douches, and surviving douches makes surviving douches a little easier. Besides, I've got a comfy place to reside in outside of,... stuff. ^_^ Have a Pinkie-spooder
>>3511 As long as it isn't >black widow >brown recluse >brown widow I'm completly fine with spiders Ecspecially fluffy ones Also GM Can I use "I sexually idnntify as an attack helicopter" as a spell or would that be OP?
>>3582 Alright, you find yourself in a room. You're not entirely sure how you got there, and its relatively bare. The walls are an opaque glass, with what appears to be a sliding door. There is no furniture except for a chest of the same glassy material, and the bed you find yourself on. No spoilers!
>>3595 No, but you'll like this part. >>3592 And you explode. Not only do you explode, but you also trigger a series of goldberg-machines involving acid, fire, ice, electricity, napalm, and weighted stones (pressure). You are very dead. I don't know how you found yourself in this world, but there is no God or entity which would sponsor a Trap, Earth-pony, Barbarian, etc. etc. I appreciate that you have taken bait this far, but I have no reason to conclude that you are ITT for any reason than to troll. If you would like to fashion a more plausible character,....
>>3599 >there is no God or entity which would sponsor a Trap... I have no reason to conclude that you are ITT for any reason than to troll Fucking thank you >>3601 > trap-trap Kek >>3602 >No traps. I didn't think I had to write that down. Amen
>>3605 Well, at the moment traps are raining down in the form of giblets and blood spatter so traps (or this one in particular) can't be observed as anything other than giblets and blood spatter. >Thez is eating sum giblets "A bit gamy desu."
I hope I didn't offend anyone (of consequence). I could've turned them into a pillar of salt at the beginning, but I wanted them to walk into it, and since Yak Lee pissed Lenos off (cuz he wasn't singed when they met) it made perfect sense that the next player to 'join' was going to end up a grease-spot. I didn't plan for a trap, but I did lay a trap, and a trap happened to have sprung the trap.
>>3611 "Okay bub, let me 'splain something to you. There is a wide difference between devils and demons. Demons are chaotic-evil, whereas devils are lawful evil. Ever notice that I don't attack anyone who doesn't in some way attack me first? Yeah, that's cuz devils have rules and dignity and propriety n shit (even if it goes against the 'normal' standard),...." >is a sore spot for her
Alright nerd-gasm incoming. Thez is half Pit Fiend. Its a very long story, but her particular adventure sent her through the outer planes (starting in Limbo, and working her way through whatever portals, gates, and what-have-you. While traveling through Hell, she caught the attention of one of the 9 Principalities, who took an interest. That interest only grew when she didn't die no matter what varieties of adversary was placed in front of her, so said Principality opted to make her "Her's". Her physiology was artificially reformed from her previous state into what the party sees now. She used to be a Half Grey Elf, Half Grey Dwarf hybrid; she is now a Grey Dwarf, Grey Elf, Pit Fiend trifecta, and the process drove her a little bit batshit. To the subject at hand however, Pit Fiends are immune to disease (even trap AIDS).
>>3639 All about Vandereim. +5/+7 Holy Avenging Bastard Sword of Mighty-Quick Cleaving Sharpness. Regularly a +5 weapon, he gets an additional +2 vs infernals, as well has has the ability to detect them (tho can't differentiate varieties). Has the ability to quicken himself (Feather Fall) giving an additional attack per round, and any attack that slays an opponent gets an additional attack if in range (Mighty Cleaving), with no limit. Any successful 20 attack roll AT LEAST cuts a limb off the opponent (Sharpness - usually fatal in and of its self). He's a damn drunk and can osmosis any alcohol he is nearby, and if he's drunk he loses his quickness but after several attacks will vomit liquor onto one's opponent. His blade is geometrically flawless, except for the tip which is square rather than pointed (no stabby). He speaks with a thick scottish accent, is about 1000 years old (though he spent the last 300 being traded, stored, and changing hands), and rejects any wielder who is not of nobility. Non-good aligned characters take damage if they attempt to wield him, and in the hands of anyone but a paladin he is only a +2 weapon.
As for the events of last night, rest assured that I was not - nor ever will - planning on condoning, accepting, or allowing any sort of faggotry ITT. In the moment I saw an opportunity to reduce whoever that was (Zald?) into mushy paste, and that was the first and last time it will get that far. No faggots. For character safety, the trap room has been permanently quarantined and sealed irrevocably.
>>3643 But since you're here now, let me tell you about some of the daggers you picked up. Of the lot, the few you'll be most interested in is: The Wicked blade +1 causes continual bleeding damage against its victim. The Defender's dagger +2 can transfer attack bonus into AC bonus (I figure this will be the teeth-blade, but its up to you). The last blade is so minimalist (its a wire-frame with a blade attached, rather than a standard hilt, grip, pommel, etc.) and the blade its self is semi-translucent. It is called the Shifter's blade, and it does increasing damage depending on how "of the material plane" its target is (the more outer-realm, the more damage).
And then Torcuil's swag. Staff of Transmutation isn't as useful as it sounds, and staves in general are non-rechargeable. Spells include: Blink (character strobes in and out of ethereal plane) Alter Self (change shape and size, think Maleficent in Sleeping Beauty) Disintegrate Spells are very limited, be advised. Staff of Power: Magic Missile (unlimited uses) Continual Light (unlimited) Levitate (u) Lightning Bolt Fireball Cone of Cold Wall of Force Sphere of Invulnerability >Don't break it, its bad
The board indicates whether the bonus has been applied, so if you don't I will. Also note that attack bonuses do not increase the critical hit threshold meaning in order to crit w/ the +2 dagger you have to land a 22 total (until you stick it in the keen machine that is).
>>3641 >Non-good aligned characters take damage if they attempt to wield him I like this >He's a damn drunk and can osmosis any alcohol he is nearby, and if he's drunk he loses his quickness Good thing he's paired with a teetotaler
>>3653 And uno homo The latter. It had 2 charges of polymorph for example, but u used those. This doesn't detract from your normal magical abilities mind you, but yes the spells are finite and few. I could tell u how many, but that would spoil the fun
Alright, getting everything situated, I'll be ready to go in about the next 20 minutes. Infernius is resplendent in his recolor, I suspect Tracy is lurking as usual, Trump I imagine to be in the vicinity, and Yak Lee, are you about this bitch?
Yes way, you literal faggot. >homosexual avatar >tries to >rape my husband knowing that my character would stab him and cause chaos >doesn't show up to most of the plays, like a fucking casual >A fucking Yak! I knew it was you from the start, zaldo I just didn't say anything, because I had planned out a scenario where I was going to murder you feed your steaks to my husband.
>>3870 No >>3871 Gladly. >faggotry aside, Lee, you got some splainin to do The party finds themselves suited in their newest gear. No mention has been made as of how to utilize or transport the two golden statues (one of them is missing), but otherwise each character has some new equipment to play with, and the means to advance their class in whatever direction aside. The generally described (often biting and sarcastic) method to do so is to return to the pyramid. Additionally, some of Tracy's blades have lost that keen edge, and that won't do. Also nothing seems pressing in town and to my understanding, the party has expended the available resources of the town.
>>3873 Alright, so Trumpaladin, triumphant in his new found purpose of being a protector to the citizenry of Port Barry (or whatever the city is called), forgets all plans of abandoning the city on a ship, or slaying Thez (well... It's not on his mind at the moment), or from getting away from the weird midget thing, or really much of anything else (legs are unguarded, and he pulls Vanderien from his sheath and raises him to the sky in a heroic pose
>>3880 Port Barry it is. That was awesome btw. Don't feel compelled to follow along too much if you're busy, but wow. Also Sechs mentions "We seem to have everything under control if you wish to depart. Do not feel compelled to stay if you have other pressing business."
>>3891 Uh... Maybe? But what are we going to do with that? Put incense in it? Besides, Port Barry could use a new Cathedral to Elway. Actually that might be a good use of the golden rats. A down payment to a Cathedral. Ooh! Toucil, how much of a cathedral do you think you could build with meme magic? Try to make one like Mile High"
"I'm not sure all the minutiae of what you're talking about, but from what I DO gather, we should probably head back to the pyramid. I mean, we can hang out here but there doesn't seem to be any impetus. There are a couple Galley-grade ships but no crews, there are commercial businesses and operations but no apparent trade, and there is an agrarian social base that seems pretty self-sufficient so long as there arent giants and jews." Thez, curiously insightfully opines.
As a sidenote to Infernius (or anyone) wanna know about a quick and easy proxy, definitely not intended for any sort of raiding or shenanigens which definitely wouldn't occur during the Mlpol anniversary?
>>3901 "what do you need? Anything for this task" >>3900 *Trump's mind is absolutely blown* >>3902 "I am saddened by the economic woe of Port Barry. But don't worry. The forgotten men and women of Port Barry are forgotten no longer. It's time to make Port Barry Great Again"
So THAT was weird, it was like a momentary dream. Anyway, everyone seems generally interested in returning to the pyramid, cuz it would be boring otherwise. Has anyone secured mounts? You probably should.
>>3912 *Nah, those are still degenerate, and the Furher would not approve of smoking." *stares off into the distance, thinking about how much of his previous life had been in dedication to who he now knows to be evil*
Thez pulls the fly from her hair and plops it on the ground, vocalizing a buzzing sound, producing her oversized fly-mount. "Are we taking the easy way?" she asks, stepping on the fly. >>3921 So get back in then
"So I take it there is a desire to retrieve the book collection, the essential parts of the shrine, and more, from the pryamid? We should recruit a party, perhaps with a wagon or several wagons pulled by oxen. And is there a library in Port Barry to put all of this in? If not we should begin construction"
So, with the exception of Tracy, everyone has a suitable mount,... except for Yak Lee who is in some form of temporal stasis. I (the GM) would like to dialogue with Lee's faggot (no bully), but now is not the time. For now, Lee is a pretty statue. The party can be said to depart on available horses and mounts, Thez making most look silly with the degree of nonchalance she affects, and Lenos going one step further and stepping through a 2 dimensional plane. The party arrives at the pyramid.
We arrive at the pyramid with everything we expected to have (and any last-minute additions),... except we are stopped before we make it to the pyramid.
Am I missing something to do with salty weebs? Nevermind.
Surrounding the grounds of the pyramid, and the mass of gore is almost entirely depleted, are some oversized ants. They're about Tracy size (3-4' tall) and they're busy taking everything biological and not nailed down..
The building its self seems untouched, and the ants seem largely oblivious, but several of them do take notice and make no move. Thez (and Tracy) fly all the way into the building, while the horses could easily plow through if commanded. There is one fellow amongst the ants who seems out of place, but not for any reason other than novelty at this point.
>>3970 Several ants are bowled over as Torcuil's mount easily plows through, also arriving at the entrance to the pyramid. He notices upon entry, that a trough has manifested its self, providing food, salts, and hay (sleeping) for mounts. Its odd, but then everything is odd here.
Thez looks at the ants and ruined gore from a good vantage. "My bath,...." Tracy I assume wants to re-sharpen her blades (esp the recent ones), and idl about Trump yet, but there are bunch of insects and a small number of them are making their way toward the entrance,... and there's a potato with them.
So Infernius finds a book that is able to simplify the concepts of psionics and mentalism,... except that doing so offers no immediate benefits. Sorry, but psionicists are kinda screwed, in that their first level is essentially a melee combatant who has ideas. You are an established minotaur cleric so that won't be a problem, but you get no immediate bonuses from your increased comprehension.
>>3993 Thez looks over at the ants, then at Tracy, then back at Lenos. "Baby steps with these ones," she says to Lenos. "I'm gonna go wreck some shop!" she pleasantly mentions, before disappearing. Also, a number of the ants appear to start exploding, resulting in an overall excitation of them (meaning they're angry now)
>>4010 In building. Thez dropped you off mid-way on the stairs, and the others are making their way into the building as we speak. I'm also 'engaged' in 'shenanigens' so no bully if delayed response. ^_^
Its not at all what I was planning, but its what is happening. The raid has begun
Also, I will point out that while the ants are an immediate threat, with my next post I'm going to introduce 2 new threats. It will be most complicated from here on, entirely and explicitly combat-oriented, and I plan that several people will die. I'm disappointed that no one has as yet, and I intend to rectify that.
>>4016 >I'm disappointed that no one has [died] as yet Poor Barry >>4018 >there are terminators and demons at the pyramid Unless I have my blaster and chapter brothers to face the Necron, Demonic, and Tyranid menace, it may be best to just to stay in Port Barry
>>4030 They're more troublesome than you initially expected, and you've taken several grazing wounds (I'm speeding up the pace a bit). They work in tandem, and some seem extensions of the others, given how the operate. >>4029 I misinterpreted, I apologize. Unfortunately "Spit hot fire" is burning hands (ish), which is not a terribly effective spell. One ant lies dead. >>4028 Not yet. Thez however has been waiting for a moment like this. Before teleporting away, she deposits a red string on Tracy (the foremost ally) and runs it out (she appears to be flying, but not quite). Upon that string getting taut, she situates herself (still above the ants, just out of range). "You guys should probably cover your ears for the next part,... you might die." She cheerfully offers before pulling a strange navy-colored stone from,... wherever she keeps things.
>>4034 Your strike glances off the head of the most advancing ant, not scoring a significant blow, but disrupting its balance. Thez looks at Trump "Are you gonna say that one word you said that one time? I mean, we can fight them off through attrition, and I could smite them with the quick (though everyone would be mad if I did), but you also have one of the axiomatic words, you spoke it that one time. It is the word John Elway spoke unto you."
>>4039 Summoned as if from distant lands, Trump instantly comes into view and on center stage, eyes lighted as he let's forth a cosmic howl of "FOOTBALL" and filled with a powerful energy scarcely seen before
>>4038 Tracy continues to flash and flurry with her deadly kitchenware. Thez proceeds to mangle ants from a number of angles. Infernius hasn't said much, so I'm assuming he's idle? Yak Lee,....
Yak Lee, why would you do this? Did you think I was kidding when I encouraged you to participate? I won't allow trap-faggotry ITT, but any character who wants to BE a trap (and not describe HOW they're a trap) I'll allow. I don't care the character proclivities, but I DO want there to be A. and increasing number of participants and B. that the participants enjoy themselves enough to come back. If I can help you/others to feel more welcome, I will do what I can. If you wish to subtly and discretely troll others in the party, BY ALL MEANS. Just please, leave out the unnecessary descriptives of the faggotry. There have been several graphic events which I've neglected to illustrate. If you wish to play, and play sincerely, I leave an open invitation.
>>4041 And so, as Trump descends on the foremost mass of ants, he does decry/command the word of Football, which IS the Holy Word (lit, there's a spell) and which renders woe and strife upon the ants. Not all of them of course, but enough that they're not aggressing on the building anymore.
>>4045 With a magnificent shockwave extending out from him, several rows of ants fall like stricken dominoes. Brandishing Vandereim in his hand and his tower shield in the other, Trump begins to feel a sense that there is a purpose behind all this, even if he doesn't particularly grasp it at the moment. >>4046 Again Trump's commanding voice, this time more resolved and resolute, utters the phrase of "FOOTBALL!" unto the ants, shockwaves of which are blown apart/aside by the sheer awesome.
>>4047 Trumpaladin calls upon, in spirit form, the 1997 Denver Broncos. You know, that year they won the Superbowl. They trample upon the ants like so many blades of grass in Qualcomm Stadium, and with the frenzied pace of a team ready to win. John Elway himself leads the pack, carrying the ball and charging towards the ants. Meanwhile, Trump Jumps up in imitation of Elway's famous "Helicopter" move, a move great for simultaneously taking out two opposing quarterbacks, disposing of Leftists, or in this case, slicing ants with Vanderiem's fury, drunken off cheap American beer between commercial breaks https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K_vOHy_uoQA
With wave upon wave of FOOTBALL, the ants are blown back in rows. They appear to have lost their will to fight, and indeed a potato (retard) makes its way to the forefront, at the goading of the ants. "Gweetings Hewowes!" he durps at you
The potato gesures toward the diminshed pile of gore (meanwhile, there is an ant behind him displaying the exact characteristics and motions, almost though synchronized) You have done a great gesture to (he sighs contentedly) The Hive" "We will make great use of your donation and contribution, such that it will benefit (he sighs contentedly) The Hive"
>>4054 Well, u can stealth to the point of being undetectable, from which you can essentially kill anything (backstab). Also you can climb, tumble, and maneuver well above anyone else. Ants are tasty btw. "I am He. This is just a name given to me by (sighs) The Hive. We apologize for encroaching on your shiny glassy thingy in the ground. We have long been curious about your shiny glassy thingy in the ground, and welcome you to (sigh) The Hive, to peacefully and not-further murderously explore the importance of your appearance to (sigh) The Hive.
>>4057 That's an awesome set of memes to pull from! Also, what sort of Cage are you going for? At its best is Lord of War, which is pretty reasonable and not bad by any means. But then there's Vampire's Kiss, which is... well. It's Nicholas Cage at his Cagiest
You should definitely sneak around eating ants, so long as they are talking to us
>>4059 Just announcing it is usually enough, except in combat. >>4062 Yes, though they have stopped attacking. They don't seem to mind that you're still killing them.
The potato notated as He continues: "We of (sigh) The Hive, wish to bid you welcome to Our land. We wish to celebrate your contribution to (sigh) The Hive, at a time of your convenience, at the base of (sigh) The Hive!" And with that, he and his ants depart, leaving a clear trail to be followed if/when the party wishes to pursue that avenue.
>>4075 If you mean venturing to the Hive, then the path is clearly marked. Beyond that, the zombies and giant gore is removed leaving a clear plain with a trio of curious craters in the ground. Also, its a shame Yak Lee wasn't being honest about his intention to play legitimately, cuz otherwise this would be far more combative than what you see.
Its complicated, but he was an integral part of putting the party into more shit
SO since things have changed, I'll assume Tracy has keened her blades again, and likewise Infernius who would have at some point wandered that way (it takes Tracy a few minutes to sharpen the whole bandolier, so the noise at least would draw attention) so I will conclude that Infernius' sword is now keen too. Trump's sword cannot be keen, cuz its awesomer then keen already.
So with the departure of the ants, Thez wanders around the field. "At least they cleaned up the place. I hope no one minds if I do a thing,...." she says while walking a very deliberate circle. She begins to sing. https://youtu.be/6YgAw1G-4zY
As she begins to sing, various runes and images begin to slowly float up from the ground, and a number of lights begin to play themselves over the clearing. "Sorry, I've been waiting to do this for a minute." As she is describing this, Lenos is analyzing the the computer, determining that the ship has to be removed from the ground in order to go anywhere, least of which being space.
>>4088 "I hope you enjoyed that!" she seems particularly interested in her performance. "It seemed particularly fitting given what's going in in faggot-world," Thez seems weirdly prescient about what is going on 'in the real world'.
Throughout this all, there is an entity (or entities?) that have/are smiling, and indeed laughing uproariously. The proceeds of this party have NOT gone unnoticed, and there are some who wait on updates like it is a breath of air. Its not what your're probably thinking. >>4093 Thez and Infernius are already long (for a moment) gone. Don't worry, they'll be back in a second, and Infernius won't be sure what just happened. >imagine sky-diving, free-fall sex
So Infernius finds himsef deposited on the ground in an abrupt manner, Thez however immediately whooofs away again. He is spent, but any injuries he incurred have been melted away. Additionally, there is a spring to his step that belies a certain degree of gratification.
Alright, I have to apologize (again) for the metre of this particular session. To begin, I hadn't anticipated Lee (and his associated (maybe literal?) faggot) being disingenuous, and so I hinged a bit of developing plotline on his character cuz I thought "Monks are easy to get/keep going". Big mistake. At the same time, the raid I was trying very hard to make seem nothing' (cuz as I predicted, there have been cross-board voyeurs) kicked off entirelly before I was ready. I am glad that we weren't still in a fight at the conclusion. Also, no worries about the ant-corpses, an ant is like a hair for the queen; crunch 'em all you want, she'll make more.
And to that end, Thez's faggot (GM) is also running on empty. Tracy seems non-responsive, as is likely Torcuil and Trump (tho has suspicions on that one). Well, I guess its time to adjourn for the night. Given the shenanigens wrt the 6/mo, I can't say when next we'll convene (prolly sat, but who knows?).
Tidbit for next time though. Every opponent that the party has met can be EASILY defeated by one method, or ridiculously DIFFICULTLY defeated by others.
Alright, finishing off this thread. It is now apparent that (sigh) the Hive is built entirely around, and even to a small degree (in the lower chambers) IN the glassy building that looks like a pyramid but is in fact much bigger. Said ants, who at first seemed hostile seemed quite gracious and welcoming, after the party squished a couple of them that is, and have left an open invitation for the party to visit them. The entrance to (sigh) the Hive is just outside the clearing to the west.
Infernius struggles to grasp the contents of "Babby's First Mindfuck". At the moment, all he can do is wiggle objects right in front of him with his mind,... but he CAN wigglesmall objects in front of him with his mind. Thez has always wanted to try free-fall sex, so she's skipping around whistling, while Lenos analyzes the computer (with Torcuil looking over his shoulder). Tracy is still the size of a full-size horse, and probably trying to corner Trump, but I'm paraphrasing. Trump on the other hand is getting an info-dump from Vandereim in the Football shrine.
In the midst of all the idle goings on,Thez walks up and looks at what Infernius is doing. "Have you ever been ridden before?" she asks, eye-balling his nose-ring. She ponders for a moment and then wanders off. not an immediate question, just setting up something
[1d20 = 13] >>4111 Thez jumps up and grabs the ring, flipping herself so she's now seated on his shoulders. "Giddy up horsie!" she says, pulling on the ring. You are now engaged in a grapple of sorts. You need to roll an 18 or better to break her hold, and she's riding you around for the duration. Each failed die roll means another round of riding (6 seconds). https://youtu.be/yPxJnvSZrU0
>>4138 Thez doesn't wear anything, its just assorted gold and jewels, literally glued to her body, so much so that she looks clothed. "K!" I've been wanting to pull this one for a while now. So she grabs you by the arm, and you both teleport. "You'll find the sun is much stronger from,...." and her voice trails off, because she teleported you both to 3500 feet, but forgot that Infernius cannot air-walk. After just over 6 seconds, you splat against the roof of the pyramid.
>>4139 30 seconds later, Thez appears at Infernius' remains, holding what appears to be a random gnarled stick. She pokes him with the stick, and - just as painful as the first time - his body recontitutes its self (though the blood splotch remains). She giggles. "Sorry, I should'a asked if you would be okay first. Maybe you'll be safer on the ground," she winks, before teleporting back up to elevation.
>>4153 Actually, while you were dead you had a remarkable dream of standing beside the Fuhrer in front of over a million troops, all lockstep and pristine regimented unity. Banners waved in the breeze as all cheered in percussive unison.
>>4155 Well, the moment you act against someone else, you automatically un-stealth, unless they're asleep or you can immediately kill/incapacitate/overpower them. At the moment, you are still 5'-6' tall though.
>>4132 Now Trump has spent quite a few moments inside his head. Or perhaps he has been walking around the building while time has been frozen. Maybe it was another dimension? Whatever the case, at some point Vandereim decided to interject, and when he did so, the world stopped and became rather monochrome. Trump is free to do whatever he likes in this frozen time-ness, except all objects are fixed in stasis and cannot be moved. During this time Vandereim talks a little bit of shit, but mostly describes about how his last master - one Ga'Ren Stavenglen, a Paladin and elven prince - was the leader of the FIRST group to play the Game. It was that group that first created the pyramid/crystal tower, and they did so intending to defeat the Game. The Game is tied to a particular magical beast, known to some as the Terrasque. During this time, the party consisted of a whole troupe of adventurers, who had their designs on terminating the Terrasque who had plagued ALL the realms since time immemorial. They developed a very calculating plan and set their plan into motion. That plan hinged on a rather new member of the party, a surly grey-skinned, red-haired elf/dwarf named Gilana. Gilana possessed an item that allowed her to create a temporal rift in time that allowed the party to heal, recuperate, and prepare to continue the fight. Upon reaching the Terrasque, several things happened. For one, there was a tremendous explosion, and everyone was separated. Additionally, Vandereim's owner (being the noble and stout fellow he was ~;_~) was at the forefront of the fight, and when Gilana's magic never occurred, he was immediately and unceremoniously ripped into many pieces. The party its self was presumably killed or fled (probably kill) and the Terrasque continued on unmolested. What was once the most magnificent assemblage of adventurers ever was reduced in moments to grease-spots, blood spatter, and slowly digesting tissue. The kicker is that this 'Thez' that everyone refers to is the same Gilana from 300 years ago, and she seems younger now, and worlds more dangerous, then she was then.
>>4161 Trump takes immense interest in this story. He asks Vanderiem, "how do we make this Terrasque leave us and all realms alone? Need we kill it? If so, how do we do so?" >>4164 Wrong. Trump's horse is Inferius's Copper maned mare, which he takes from Inferius after Inferius finds the mare is too small for him
>>4169 Sorry,.... >>4170 The Terrasque is tied to the Game. In the sense that the outer reaches of space are the "exterior border" of the Game, the heart of the Terrasque is the "interior border". Destroying the heart has been fabled as the only way to escape this realm. As far as how to kill it, thats difficult to say. The beast has an insane amount of vitality (it has more hit points than a castle), it regenerates constantly, its immune to most direct magic, and while it is larger than any dragon its also many times more agile. Its unintelligent, entirely feral, and always hungry. But the general plan is(was) to kill it.
>>4173 Yes, I just reviewed, again, and detected the part where you and Infernius switched cuz the copper mare didn't care for the huge. I originally described the salt-pepper as a mare, but it was intended to be a ninja-stallion. I apologize for any inaccuracy in reporting.
>>4172 "Where is this Terraesque? And will killing it free us? Is it harming anyone besides players?" >>4175 >>4177 There can be a ninja horse in the stable (the one Inferius actually rode?) but the one Trump rode in on was the copper maned mare