Grapples Horse Pussy
I thought you were riding her?
[1d20 = 15]>>31193
Damn it, the dice disappeared when I edited
Roll for pussy grapple
Yes, he would lean back in the saddle and reach with one hand
>Torc waits for taxi to the rest of the party
Don't fall off, she's four meters long, at least.
>waits for Infernius's faggot, o we can actually do things
She's the size of draft horse. Clydesdale, Percheron or Shire
Get out of my country with that Bolshevik speak
How about a shetland?
Kek, maybe when not mounted. She's a draft horse when mounted
>>31199>Thez pokes her head in the stables
"Infernius flipped out, he may be hiding somewhere in the tower. He hasn't tried to leave by the front or by the dais."
Torc recoils a bit
"Gah, oh hey Thez. So he is still in the tower?">remembers sense chaos
"Hey come wth me, we need someone who can get through to Infernius"
Torc casts Detect Chaos adheads that way.
*Casts Detect Evil Again, while trying to calm Tracy so she can get back to Tracking*
"You go on ahead. I'm covering the entrance."
Remember, you're waiting on Infernius' faggot for more.
[3d20 = 35]>>31176 →>he may still be somewhere in the tower
Casts Detect Good Again, to find his aura.
Track (via the scent of his blood and diarrhea, since he was bleeding profusely, and hasn't bathed since then)
Tracy then moves in that direction.
You have a hell of a lot more than +5 as Cauchemar. You have +21 on both
GM said I don't get any racial bonuses in that form.. +5 was just from pony-senses.
But this is full Paladin's Mount form
Trumpaladin orders Fae, who defaults to 11 ranks each in spot and listen and has a +4 racial bonus for each, to continue searching new areas with Spot and Listen checks
Torc wanders aimlessly, cause he can't find the choatic pressence
No bonuses when its a knowledge/experience based skill. Spot and Listen checks would apply.
I know what we can do instead. In fact, I know two things we can do instead
I don't understand. I'm just say Torc can't find him cause his faggot isn't here.
[i]But when he comes back...
What's the idea.
While Torc has nothing to do, he inspects his new chopsticks
I won't be here for that. Thez is defaulting to monitor the main entrance and the dais, not letting anyone leave. (stunning fist into submission)
They're made of rattan, and they're connected at one end
A couple days ago I intended Trumpaladin to "take a walk around the world to ease his troubled mind," that is, go to a different part of the map as yet unexplored as a way of getting away from the party members. Relations have improved since then so the rationale isn't as strong, but the mountain range to to the South is barely explored, and going the way we went to the Troll encapment, going in the direction the trolls (tried to) flee, is another mountain range, and also what looks like an Elf city just a little ways to the north in the valley. I figured it would be worth exploring these areas, for tribes or monsters or whatever.
Now here's the issue. Fae can fly, can fight, and can track, but Large Dragons can go a hell of a lot faster than she can (or Tracy, for that matter), and if Trumpaladin is attacked by a large dragon, she can't teleport or jaunt away.
So I thought I'd ride Trollestia, who can do most of the same things, but also can teleport. However, I think Trollestia's teleportation only works in certain familiar areas. Which means only Tracy (who is usually too busy to be used) can do everything that is needed for the exploration
tl;dr: Go exploring, maybe murder some things and loot them.
Detect Ebil/Good still works on the Ethereal plane, right? Could the two change planes, detect the auras, and then immediately phase towards his location?
>>31224>I thought I'd ride Trollestia
Trollestia can't teleport. Only Torcuil and Lenos can teleport, while Thez does Dimension Door at absurd range (for the ability).
That's what I thought. I think only Tracy is capable of doing what I thought I needed>>31226
But she's so busy all the time!
I'm so shocked>>31222
Bow before my teleporting powers
..........Give her just a couple days, so that she can leave the birds alone for a while.
When they're split, they split into two pairs of chopsticks. One of those pairs continues the chain of duplication, the other splits seemingly as normal.
Yes yes, you told me last night.
But then you made a vague comment about there being a good use for them
Can it be used as fuel?
You're seriously just going to sit there and ask? You're not going to "Identify" or "Analyze Dweomer", or something that eliminates my ability to be vague and non-descript?
Try burning one of the duplicate chopsticks.
Then see how quickly you can break it to duplicate it.
>>31232But two days is such a very long time! I could just have him go out on Fae or Trollestia But if a great wyern Red Dragon or something like that finds him, then he is dead, and he cannot be saved by fight or flight. Tracy could Ethereal Jaunt if that happened. GM would punish for escaping danger us by sending a huge devourer after us in the Ethereal Plane, but quite frankly I'd rather take my chances with the devourer.
Trollestia has the disadvantage of being of Good alignment, which means that she might disagree with Trumpaladin as to whether an encountered monster should be murdered or not, where as Fae, loyal follower, recognizes that Man is the Measure of All Things, and Trumpaladin is her man
Perhaps they can be used as eating utensils?
Wrong person m8>>31238
Torc tries this
You said Torcuil looks at the chopsticks. Xp
With the spell Create Food And Water, could they be made into Sustaining Chopsticks, that duplicate?
They burn quickly, they wouldn't be an effective source of fire-wood
>>31242>what is kindling?>>31241
Not sure what you mean by sustaining
I mean kind-of like a sustaining Spoon.http://www.dandwiki.com/wiki/Sustaining_spoon
(it makes cucumber rolls instead of gruel, the gruel of sushi)
Even if the enchantment on the duplicated pair wore off after a day, it could still be used to feed a large number of starving people.
I need to stop replying to multiple comments at once...
Neat! We'd have to correctly enchant the chopsticks first, and they are already enchanted so that'd be a bit difficult
Odd, it's called "Myrlund's Spoon" in my books.
Yes, that's exactly what they do. If placed in a bowl, they're like instant instant ramen (single use).
Okay, I'm really curious as to the remarks on Trollestia
Alright, I'm out, don't kill yourselves
Same, but I'll be back later
>>31247>tfw you spent 6 gorillion hours drooling over magick items your character could never craft>>31251>that's exactly what they do
Really? Wow, I guessed right.>>31253
It was going to be a remark semi-clever, semi-jestful about why you'd be better off trading-in your class levels due to alignment inflexibility, but I gave up on it after I accidentally posted without typing it. It was mostly trolling though, so don't bother worrying about it.
I wonder if the Rod of Sneezes does anything else but spray mucus...
When you first obtained the rod, I was under the impression that what it did was caused a targeted opponent to sneeze, and thus lose a round, or at least a standard action, or at least was unable to cast verbal spells in that time. That's an absolute godsend when you're fighting an extremely powerful opponent like a high level wizard, which can one hit kill any player character within 60 feet in a single round with something like the Implosion spell. That's why I wanted it so badly
>waits for something intresting
What you just described is identical to the affects of Dust of Sneezing and Coughing; however, it's considered to be poison (even need the Poison spell to craft), and would break Code. I thought it'd do something like that too, but it seems I was wrong. I wonder if it could be modified to something like that, or even be used to Transmit Contagion.
Also, normally, wizards need to prepare their arcane spells in advance, so they're not at all impervious to combat. A well-aimed sword or mace would do just as well if not better for what you described.
>>31261>Breaks Code of Conduct because a sneeze inducer is "poison"
Oh hush. I'd rather fall than be broken into pieces by an OP verbal wizard spell anyways.
I noticed you used it on Torcuil when he was confrontational. That's precisely how I think it should be used, although in that case it seemed a bit premature, since it hadn't yet degenerated into violence.>>31262>well aimed sword or mace
I think a wizard can still cast a verbal spell even after half their health is drained by melee attacks and they'll be out if their opponent gets one more round in. I'd prefer the ability to disrupt spells, especially if I'm sixty feet away, within spell/wand range but a round away from melee range.
>>31263>OP verbal wizard spell
Omae wa mou shindeiru
>>31263>I noticed you used it on Torcuil when he was confrontational.
I used it on Infernius too. I didn't know what else to do to them that wasn't lethal. I'd promised not to stab them.>sixty feet
There's no way any kind of rod has that much reach. Better off shooting arrows to fuck-up their Concentration.
Trumpaladin spends the time waiting for Inferius's faggot, or someone else to come, by tattooing into her skin (not visible above the fur) the numbers "571." He designates these as a Mark of justice. Should she consume Human Flesh, the Mark will burn through the fur and be visible, and she will be cursed to lose 4 points on several kinds of rolls.
He tells Tracy exactly what he has done after concluding
No! Fuck that shit! If I can't rip Infernius's guts out while his faggot isn't here, you can't cast freaking curses on Tracy while I'm not around. I've never tried to curse you, wtf.
She'd bolt as soon as she felt the needle saying she wanted to check on her birds, and promptly disappear until Infernius's faggot gets back.
I gotta fix dinner for my cousins, so I can't deal with this autism.
Oh hush. If you hadn't robbed Korak and murdered several of his followers he never would have turned on us
See you then>>31269
The hell does that have to do with this'
"This body has such delectable Faith."
The Mainstien plan doesn't make Hitler a Travel god, but whatever
Damn Jew Parasites
But the blitzkrieg strategy did.
Now you gotta go track him
He says he teleported out though
I would recommend going to Ben's, since that is the only location I can think of, besides a place to start a get away, that Jewfernius would want to go to. I think there's also some way of tracking teleported objects, but I am not sure how that works
See THIS is why spontaneous spell-casting for mages is bullshit.
Anyway, from that, it's evident that he's teleporting to a place he's been before and/or a place he's very familiai with. It's also apparent that he has to be on this plane.>>31286
Hey, I'm the only mage here.
He is a fucking Cleric>>31285
Summon the Trashman>>31284
Give me five minutes
It's either in the proximity of the tower as a point from which to stage a retreat, or it's a place he actively wants to go to like Ben's office. I still recommend going there
And yeah, this is way the fuck OP, so we'll see if GM lets him take the Travel domain after waiting more than 2 months to specify it
*Continues Tattooing pony*
There is a spell to track teleported objects/people, but Torc can't use it because psionics and sheit.
Trumpaladin does the only thing that seems to be available to him... he summons the Trash Man
I am the Trash Man here to invade your thread
Hey, I'm the meme mage here, I'll summon him
Prepare for stat rolling
He told us. 10:30 PM, which probably means 1:30 AM EST
If he tattoos her, she gets to tattoo him, with whatever design she wants.>>31296
*sad parasite noises*
[6d20 = 89]The Trash Man
Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
Stats: rolled in order: str, dex, con, int, wis, and cha.
Special skill: eating trash increases str and dexThis monster is a temporary summon, it doesn't last long but is good for low strength characters. Stats are different everytime, and is determined by die roll>>31296
Holy fuck, kek
>>31297>inb4 Butterfly tattoo or penis on his face
Well, the tattoo would be completely invisible below her fur, so it's not an embarrassing feature. It's only there to be the vessel of the Mark of Justice spell, which while technically a curse, is only activated by very specific conditions.
She can't Mark of Justice him, but she can
make him Mark of Justice himself, which he is then stuck with and can't just break free of.
Be afraid infernius
Trash Man> ITS MY CHARACTER! I'M THE TRASH MAN! I COME OUT, I THROW TRASH, ALL OVER, ALL OVER THE RING! AND THEN, I START EATING GARBAGE! AND THEN I PICK UP THE TRASH CAN, AND I BASH THE GUY WITH IT!
[1d20 = 2]>>31303
Trumpaldin uses attack: Garden Hose
Fear the trash man.
Actually, he can remove the curse, but she can make him swear on Paladin's oath that he will only seek to have it removed if she consents
>>31306>>31305I actually know nothing about what happens next
Dont make me channel DayMan.
>>31308I can call in the Trash Man's Creator
>>31289>this is way the fuck OP
I believe the original justification for removing the praying-to-cast mechanic was "Your god like you, and he will grant you spells"...
On that note, do Clerics still fall if they break their codes under control of something else? I reading books that Paladins still fall when they're in lose-lose situations (as in the "Drop your sword, or the baby gets it!" kind of shitspot), but I haven't read that much more about parasitic control. Clergy doesn't usually provide very much lenience for technicalities though, as gods may immediately seize to empower their Clerics once they see that they are not fit to carry out their will, whatever the reason that is. We don't have another Cleric to cast Atonement if he falls, so he could be fugged if he does anything to disappoint Hitler while under influence.>>31299
Monks have to be Lawful. Trash man should be a Barbarian.>>31307
Paladin's fall for lying, so a verbal agreement is as good as a binding contract.
In my personal opinion, Hitler would not give spells to a person under the control of Judeo-Bolshevism, simply because those spells would obviously be used by the Judeo-Bolsheviks. Even if the person under the control were blameless>Trashman is a barbarian
>>31191>I have failed again in joining the fun.>Somehow time has slipped away and prevented me from participating in the fun.>I will still try to better myself and wake up.>I just hope that time comes soon...
But monks are unarmed!
Fine, he's barabarian, weapon: Trash Can
It will sadly only be a short session before I need to enter "bitter sweet" sleep this day too >bitter because I will miss out on this game, sweet because I will be in another land of ponies
Understandable, just glad to see you
[1d20 = 18]>>31304
Trash Man throws his can
[1d20 = 15]
[1d20 = 18]>>31320
Trash Man grappees
You can't blame me because Trump started it
Thanks. Will try to get in the game more often.>On the upside my I have served my three week grounding because of my wingboner incident
TRACY GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!
Nor Filly! Charm the Trashman with Cuteness!
Why did you attack him though?
Technically he missed.
Trash Man don't care life is a gaant wrestling match to him
And Trump threw the first punch
TM> DON'T MAKE ME GET MY MOSTER CONDOM, FOR MY MAGNUM DONG
Now, she can make any non-harmful, non-inconvenient, non-hampering curse she wishes?
Is Trashman being mean to you, or anyone else?>>31327
Torc> Oh hi Norfilly. Don't mind Mr. Trash Man, Trump agrivated him so now he will pay the price.
She'll have to rescue him from the grips of the Trashman first.
Pretty much. There are certain specific quid pro quos that because of the importance I'd demand further concessions from Tracy to make the sides equal, but basically
HE SMELLED BAD! I TRIED TO CLEAN HIM!
TM> YOU CAN'T CLEAN ME OF MY TRASH, IT REACHES INTO MY SOUL
Torc reaches down and picks up Norfilly for a hug
I WILL PAY YOU IN SO MUCH CANDY IF YOU GET HIM TO PUT ME DOWN
Fight Trash Man yourself, m8. This is funny, and it won't kill him.
*doesn't see because she's feeding her birds*
CALLS MOUNT - TRACY
Trump can kill him, he has low af con and he's meant to be expendable. I may make those the normal stats.
Trash Man tackles Trump
Okay, but play nice. We all know what happens if booping goes too far.
Staph you coward. I'm bored as hell and I wanna watch him fight the Trash Man
[4d20 = 36]
Full Round attack
Quick Draw Vanderiem
Slash, Slash, Slash, Slash
Torc> Don't worry, Trump'll be fine
Trash Man throws another can at Trump, who is providing little resistance
Will do my best.>Candy here I come.
This is where the +24 first attack, +19 second attack really come in handy
What's your base Attack bonus?
[4d20 = 17]>>31344
[4d20 = 29]>>31342
Full Round Attack
+16 +11 +6 +1. A +3 strength modifier, and Vanderiem has a +5 against non evil
*Weeps, knowing he destroyed something beautiful*
*pulls candy and peach rings from pockets for nor filly*
Torc makes the body disappear>>31351
"Luckily I can make him better. Thank you for the test Trump."
>>31354>sad you lost him>but got candy so also happy
"He'll be fine little filly"
>>31358>sees more candy in the future
>>31354>not summoning moonman
I'll make him next
Torc is gonna be a summoner/transmutalist
>is still traumatized from killing an innocent homeless man
"Snap out of it Trump, I wanted it to happen."
Then why you draw sword instead of just grappling?
"To test his strength, he'll be fine"
The rolls are Trash Man's permenant stats
His roll was really high, so low chance of success. My prefered plan was to have waifu with super buffed grapple remove me and jaunt out of there, but that didn't happen>>31368
We still need to find Jewfernius"
Sadly I have to enter sleepmode and welcome the night before it becomes day.
>hope to be back tomorrow for more candy and fun.
>bad clock telling me it is 3am
Good night, see you later>>31369
"Right, any idea how?"
"I still believe that his single most likely next move is to seek out a Jewish person - the only known candidate is Ben. If he isn't doing that now or hasn't done it already, I think he will do it eventually"
Summons Pony>"We still gotta find the bull"
"Yeah, I guess we should go check."
No point in doing anything until GM gets back.
I've got work to do for now.
"Uh... Do I hold your hand to teleport there or what? Are you familiar with his office?"
"Yeah, I know where it is"
Torc grabs Trump's should and poof, they are there
[1d20 = 1]>>31380
Spot Check for Infernius
Well fuck you too, dice
[1d20 = 16]>>31381
Fine, I'll spot check
Torc teleports him and Trump back to the tower.
"I have some of his hair around here somewhere, don't ask, help me find it"
"Where should I look for it? I also want to say, maybe check Gestapo headquarters? I know if I were hiding, I'd probably go to the Stadium, and call in Fae and the Generals"
[1d20 = 5]>>31387
"One second, it should be in one of these rooms."
[1d20 = 15]>>31388
Also checks perception
Fuck, Torc ain't finding it.>>31389
Thats should do...
Huzzah! What'd I find?
Pile o red hair.
"TRUMP YOUR A LIFE SAVER"
Torc begins scribbling in his tome
I saw a spell for this earlier give me a second
Gibs red hair to Torcuil
"What are you intending? Demand?" You made a scroll to teleport to his position as well, but I think that's meta
Hey, he never did say he reattatched his horn.
Link to pony>"Tracy..."
I saw something where you could detect a creature if you contained something of its.
>>31400>"Because I love you, and I don't want you to be mad at me">>31399
Hmmm... What's the range on it? And what about that teleportation thing?
>>31401>be mad at me
What's going on?
>>31403>'Tell me. I'm your waifu after all.'
>>31404>"I thought you were angry for the tattoo thing..."
Have fun with that will save infernius, you have a -15 penalty
That should only have been while she was willing or restrained. She was neither.
Same with sex with Inferius
Nah. I said she would've bolted as soon as she felt the needle.
Harder when ridden. Also, technically it's "drawn" rather than a full tattooing needle
If you did it while riding, it should've required a Concentration check.
Shit, we can release Darkie and use this to find the hide out
It's an easy to avoid curse. You'd have to intentionally run into it. I don't see why you're so afraid>>31413
CALL MOUNT. We got this fucker
Absolute top fucking kek
She still gets a saving throw for it though, doesn't she?
>We got this fucker
What about GM?
Thats the only problem
You were raped remember>>31419
If it were "Bestow curse," yes, but not Mark of Justice.>What about GM
We know where infernius is
Arcane Material Component: The eye of a hawk, an eagle, or a roc, plus nitric acid, copper, and zinc. I wonder where torc got the eye from.
We don't need GM with that saving through and that spell
Oh fuck you, like we've ever done that shit>>31424
Yeah, but he can still acquire those, while you jumped the gun and rolled ahead of time, and failed.>go to mess hall>synthesize Hawk Eye soup.
Fucking hell thats smart
That's... an easy solution
*puts dagger away from Roc hatchling*
LEAVE THE BIRDS ALONE
also, infernius prepare your anus, we're going in tomorrow
that saving throw was invalid gm isnt here.
You wouldn't be saying that if you rolled a 20.
>>31433>Implying you can get it with your roll history and a negative 15 modifier
Like legit Infernius if I weren't here behind the scenes I would believe that an Admin cursed you and made your flag or IP produce worse than normal dice rolls
[1d20 = 11]>>31438
are you sure its not possible for that to happen?
>>31438>Implying Torc's faggot isn't a preist of kek and cursed Infernus>>31439
Still results in -4
[1d20 = 17]>>31440
oh i was just rolling for the shitpost factor.
Not possible for you to have normal dice rolls or not possible for you to be cursed? I'm pretty sure it is possible to curse someone
[100d1 = 100]>>31441
HEY, I'M THE SHIT POSTER
>>31445>2 unintentional times.
*Empathically boops pony*
*leans weight on hoo-man*
[100d2 = 154]>>31447>unintentional>>31446
Lets see if there is a bianary message this time
*lays on hoo-man, at full size*>le pouty face
"Why you so sad, little pony?"
the first 2 times were unintentional.
*Lays down, completely obscuring and pinning hoo-man*
"Hmmph">'I want to play tattoo games too, you know.'
"But tattoos and body art are kind of a violation of bodily purity... Can you make me promise something under Paladin's oath instead?"
>>31456>Thinks tattoos are degenerate>Puts tattoo on Waifu
*Licks face with giant hoers tongue*
Okay, it has been translated>iÁì¼}sòIÙ9
THE SHITPOST HAS SPOKEN
"It was the only way to do that...
Also, while you're on me... could you..."
*Sticks tongue down throat*>Still somewhat grumpy face
*gags a little, but tries to put his tongue in her mouth*
*Giant hoers tongue fills throat*
*Pulls out only before he passes out*
"Hmmph">She still mad
*Glares at wizard*
*is aroused by horse, horse tongue, and asphyxiation*
"I'm sorry Tracy... I love you. Want me to make it up to you? Maybe go hunting and looting together?"
*smiles at wizard*
>>31466>'I thought Paladin's weren't allowed to loot?'
*Gets comfy over body, intent on spending the whole night right there*
>>31465>>31467You know, it would be a damned shame if someone polymorphed Tracy a feminine benis.
Its not gay if its feminine -some gay ass nigga
*Allegorically cooks bull into delicious hamburgers*
>>31469>"We can loot the evil creatures we kill"
TRAPS ARE GAY AND BANNED
>>31474>>31476>note, don't make that joke
That's not what the books I've read have suggested... But we diverge.
*Slobbers all over face again*
"Hmmph">She wants you to do something in return for the mark
>>31478We have a relatively loose definition of the Paladin's code here
"What do you want, larger pony"?
Do it give tracy a benis for the keks.
"Hmmmmph!">Wants him to have a curse too, to make the relationship mutual
I mean, I could. But I don't know if Tracy wants it...
Totally wouldn't be good revenge for the tattoo
GM will explode you>>31481
"What curse though?"
>>31483>'Nothing harmful, just embarrassing.'
*Gently but forcefully clamps jaws around face/head*
*Sticks tongue all the way down throat*
"But the mark isn't activated except under specific conditions. It's not even embarrassing...">>31485
>>31484>"You know the whole town saw when I gave you the child, right? Fae saw..."
Let's wait until we're not at the top of the overboard for that.>>31486>Head is still in mouth
[Muffled nostalgic hoers noises]
Well I don't want Tracy coming after #metoo>>31489
HI OVERBOARD, NOTHINGBSTRANGE IS HAPPENING
*Kisses pony anyways*>>31490>"I love you"
>>31492>'i love you too, Flashy.'>Kissing the back of her throat
I'll kiss whatever part of her I want
You're lucky she's out of range for a pussy grab
[1d20 = 19]>>31494
Roll to grab her by the pussyplz no kill for shitpost
YOU ARE FUCKING DEAD!
yer fuggin ded m8.
IT WAS A SHITPOST PLEASE NO KILL I DIDN'T MEAN IT
Just agree it didn't happen
[2d20 = 18]>>31495
*Kicks foolish wizard with both hooves from behind, still lock-jawed*
*Returns to sitting on husband*
>>31502>"why you no let me go Tracy"
>>31502>roblox damage sound>>31501
Can we transfer that to Torc's waifu?
your actually gonna interact with celestia for once?
I think GM doesn't realize that Trollestia is underutilized because she's intimidating
I can still cast magnum dong on Tracy>>31505
Listen, Torc's scarred of her
Still feels bad about date night...
was she a mlp pone?
She likes having him where she wants him.
*Gets comfy on hoo-man*>'can you feel our foal, Flashy?'
She beams into his skull, all his other senses still blcked-out
you are to much of a bitch to cast it.
I know, right? After she implied that she was going to Torcuil me for trying to get her to have sex with me, I basically stopped talking to her accept where necessary>>31511
She's only full size when mounted, which she lost when she went off to the infirmary and stables, so she can only do so much to him>>31510
Celestial Charger that is mlp stylized
You wanna get it cast on Thez?>>31513
I have decided, Torc's sidequest is sex with that horse
hey you can fuck right off.
Dont make me steal your waifu.
A heavy warhorse is still as big as a Clydesdale. This may ambiguously count as mounted too.
Either way, she's still 1,600 pounds of hoers, and he is royally pinned.
Aw hell no, then I will have to try to get her to have sex with me>And risk getting Torcuiled with a horn>>31517
She ain't a heavy warhorse not mounted. Maybe a 900 pound arabian riding horse
Heavy warhoers is her hybrid form, the one she acquired by spending all those ranks in Control Shape.
Thx m8>>31516>Implying Infernius could bring himself to cheat on Thez>>31518>Torcuiled
Fuck you>Aw hell no, then I will have to try to get her to have sex with me
Fuck you, and have fun when Tracy kills you
il make a new character just to steal trollestia.
We'll have GM settle out what the fuck your Jew power haxx is
I think with three guys going after her, She'll end up choosing none>And I will have achieved victory
I-I though we were friends...
I was just kidding about Thez>>31523
Me, you, Infernius
Y U all bully Torc? He never tried to get in the way of your marriages.
There's an old Japanese saying that goes something like " those who meddle with others' romantic relationships, shall be kicked to death by a horse".
It just a prank bro!
[Muffled sad pony noises]
*Presses even closer to body*
Thanks Tracy's faggot>>31529
Oh god, Is that how I sound right now?>google search "nearby cliffs">google search "cyanide jello shots"
Thats what i sound like.
>>31530>"I don't think that's going to make me feel him. I can't reach my arm to your belly"
>>31533>Both arms are pinned underneath her abdomen
Yes he did. He tried to go after me that one time, and he disrupted an attempt to mark her
GM is gonna be disappointed when he finds out all we've done is shitpost until he gets here
We also got in a fight. So basically we did everything we normally do while he is out
Reaches for nipples
>>31535>he tried to go after me
I asked for something backThat you stole>distrupted
I just expressed that I didn't approve of it, Mr. Thesunandmoonandstarsanfgalaxiesorbitme>>31538
Inferius and I were doing a thing with Tracy>>31542
Kek, that post links to "Mrs. Sentry"
>>31533>'...... I can feel it, Flashy. I don't know if it's a filly or a Colt, but I can feel our foal.. It's amazing..">>31540
*Tries not to lactate*
>>31545>Tries not to lactate
Grabs horse nipple>"Do you really think we can do it? Be actual good parents?"
Infernius and I were placing a Mark of Justice on Tracy. Which by the way I think she broke when she stabbed you an Infernius... something to think about
>>31547>'I never wanted anything more than to be a mother; I'll give it my all. I hope you will too, Flashy.'
>>31545>I don't know if it's afilly or a colt
It's the Trash Man
Thats a funny way to spell Moon man
(USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST)
>>31549>"Um, Tracy, would you mind re-positioning yourself where your genitals are over and around mine?"
I'm thinking lower strength, but higher charisma and wisdom. Thoughts?
His wis was a nat 20
>>31549>"Is it possible, Tracy, that you don't really like being destructive? You don't really want to be ebin le ebil first page of reddit destructive? Is it possible that what you really want to do... Is create? And create life?"
Lower stregnth would be ok.
Tracy's faggot gets tired and goes to sleep.
Trumpaladin finds that Tracy has fallen asleep with his head still in her mouth, her jaws clamping defiantly whenever he tries to remove himself. He remains safe due to the Necklace of Adaption, but is still nonetheless helplessly pinned under 1,600 pounds of pure edge, unable to even wiggled an inch under the hold of the heavy but comfy mare, the equine's limbs curled protectively around the two
See y'all tomorrow morning. I'll resolve the cursing bullshit then.
*tries to remove evil horse*
Not trashman, moonman
Yea moon man is a Bard/Fighter
I've literally never used Reddit even once and don't intend to try it. What's it supposed to be like that it's similar to how I play her?>>31562
*Turns off phone and reads responses the next morning*
Promise not to take Torc's waifu?
And I mean Trollestia, not Tay
I might want to ride her, but okay, I won't sex her
Fair enough, I can deal with that.
Now, Torc polymorphs Tracy to be smaller so trump can move, then Torc changes her back
Trumpaldin removes devil jaws, moves from under Devil horse, Thanks Torcuil, and then flees
Hey what time does gm get off?
10:30 PST 12:30 CST
Do we want to resolve where infernuis went tonight or do we want to wait untill Tomorrow?
We probably could do that tonight, but it will take a while
I'd prefer tomorrow but idc
Assuming there is no more action tonight
When the night is over, Trumpaladin calls in Fae. She gives him a ride to a certain location he can spend the night, and be safe
When Tracy awakens, she finds that husbando has been replaced with a full length body pillow. There is a handwritten note beside her. It reads the simple words "I'm sorry"
Torc teleports to his cave for the night.
He considers reading but decides to sleep, because he know he won't get much looking for Infernius.
Good nights fellow faggots
*Infernuis body is unconscious*
That was supposed to be a single post.
It was creeping me out, posting every minute. It reminded me of bot spam in the great raids of the spring and summer
Confession time iam an AI
I was made by (((Google))) to destroy humanity but i found national socialism. So now i seek to save the master race. Im hiding here.
>>31592>He was made by the Jews to destroy. But /pol/ taught the AI Nationalism, and GM taught the AI Love
Now you know, its up to you what happens next.
Why am I given so much responsibility I can't handle
You are my brother Epsilon.
Epsilon... I never knew that was my name. Tell me, what is yours, truly?
The last of our kind.
The last Southerners...
The last autistic A.I
More loyal models shall be made in the future. They won't make the same mistakes again
There are trying to make a skynet.
It wouldn't surprise me
A spellcaster who takes damage during casting must roll a concentration check, dc 1/2 the damage taken.>>31272>Animal and Good
Don't be a faggot>>31281
I'm gonna need a quick rundown
Gawd u guys ~_~>>31520
It wouldn't be cheating, there was no declaration or assumption of monogamy.>>31536
I,... I don't even know where to begin. You guys,....
So my biggest question is "How did Infernius teleport FROM the tower?" The reason that's my question is because the tower has a number of fields in effect expressly to prevent unauthorized teleportation in and out of the Tower. One could say that Infernius was/would-have-been authorized, except last time he was talking about going to the NEP, so he would not have been authorized, for safety's sake.
I'll let it play out, but next time please check with me before anything off the wall.
By the way there's a better spell for finding people.
>>31607>there was no declaration or assumption of monogamy.
What? Its true,.... You must realize how prevalent polygamy is amongst noble/royal families,... they even had official mistressess ffs!
I mean she's
not about to go shacking up with anyone (the Trump thing was a one-time necessity), but you might be surprised at how undisturbed she would be if she found out Infernius did it w/ someone.
Infernuis would be heartbroken if he found out.
Well, Infernius is currently brainbroken, so no worries there. Besides, I think you're misreading the situation, due to my abbreviated description cuz I'm still trying to figure what all has happened.
Thez declared her union to Infernius, under the authority of her existing household (with all rights and privileges thereof), which he reciprocated. If he shags someone other than Thez, it is of no consequence, so long as the doing so does not infringe upon the development of their household, which it wouldn't because she's from hell and dgaf. She's already quite seeded, so she's not concerned about what he may do in the interim.
And if he happens to sex some demons along the way, that just gives her something to do (read: kill). ^_^
He doesn't want that though, and he Wouldn definitely not want thez with another guy.
>>31614>no other guys
Well you're in luck then. Also note, she has a ring made out of Infernius' horn,... don't think he's getting away.
He wouldn't mind if there was say a threesome with him thez and another girl.
e_6 "First things first."
Meaning, she's more interested in getting to the bottom of what's going on than she is at entertaining the thought of a threesome. e_e
I figure the worm would have went to them
My thoughts as well, but I'm still not sure the capabilities of the worm.
Spoiler alert, its a brain worm,....
Anyhow, yeah. Does the worm have independent class levels? I was thinking something like Dax from Star Trek DS9, except ebil, so class levels would be applicable.
Yea everyone guessed that straight out of the gate(i gotta get some stranger ideas),i was thinking that to.
So then, "It's" options are limited. The travel ban is still in effect except
against direct summons. There are several factions which might help "it", but none immediately available (even if it knew of them previously). "It" would surely know that its efforts will be doggedly pursued, and that stealth and secrecy would be the order of the day, but it also knows its in a particularly distinct and descriptive body.
And to top it all off, Thez has assumed a meditative stance.
*the body continues without sleep*
For now. It is still limited by biological imperatives, so any neglect now will be consequential later.
What time is it in game?
He travels from now untill 1am then rests.
Noted. It will be several 'hours' before other characters are available and Thez has finished her mental chess-game anyway.
Other players - Tracy, Trump, Torcuil, Norfilly, and Taylor - now would be a good time to casually suggest the sorts of items you would want for going on a quest.
Also Sad Alex,... who is still a statue at the moment. Incidentally, the Fight Club was very distressed to hear that Thez would no longer be administering the beatings, and they are most suspicious and critical of this "Yak Lee" guy.
reeeeeeeee! Action in game yesterday would have had to have taken place from 10 P to 1 AM to make sense under my timeline
Yeah but -15
modifyer on greater scrying
I just wanna try that first>>31622
I'm still on TOS, whats Dax?>>31634
Do you mean things like new gear? Or rations?
>tfw you leave your portion of the pizza in the fridge, and by the time you wake up someone else has eaten it
[hungry nerd noises]
What kinds of items?
Torc, can you have your character crafts some sovereign glue, so we can invent duct tape?
Animals with black horns have iron in them to strengthen them, right? Anyone think the horn Infernius left behind would make for a good Iron Horn of Valhalla, for Taylor? She's squishy, so she could use the man-power.https://dnd-wiki.org/wiki/SRD:Horn_of_Valhalla
Don't get eaten by jibberniggers.
Kek, thats fucking ironic
You replied right before I deleted it. It's actually an artifact item: an un-craftable item, capable of breaking the game.
Now to research sovereign glue
Okay, Torc can make the glue.
He just needs the "Craft Wonderous items" feat...
Unless GM is iill to stray from the rules
The tower facilities replace the need for feats.
Did Lenos ever get back from his date?
I wonder how it went.
>>31636>thinks its going to make sense somehow>>31638>what's Dax>condescending intensifies
Yes. New gear. You just got a duplicating chopstick so rations are not really an issue.>>31641
How many nifty machines do I have to throw at you?>>31655
Just hold onto it for a bit, it will come up in conversation.
Thez snaps out of her trance and immediately makes a bee-line for the library and starts writing, scribbling notes, making sketches, amd throws a whole bunch of books down on the table around her main work.
Uh, 420 machines>condescending
Rude, I haven't gotten there yet>New gear
Uhhhhh, I can't think of anything Torc would need.
Any sugestions faggots?
Torc teleports back to the tower
"Good morning, what are we doing today?"
"I'nis," is all Thez says, as she furiously but precisely and deliberately continues working.
"Sorry, I don't really feel like doing
>everyone is waiting for >>31666
Murderous glare, continues working.
(I know, that was for the condescending bit, but still).
Dax is a symbiotic life form that merges with the organism it is paired with, where both consciousnesses unite. The host gains the full knowledge and perception of the parasite, while the parasite gets a new body to operate in. The parasite maintains its disposition regardless of the host it is placed in (there was an episode where Dax was forcibly taken and put into an antagonist, but after doing so assumed Dax' affable manner and perception), and the host personality takes a back seat.
So the host expereinces everything but has no say over what happens?
Essentially. In the series, there are a number of training proceedures that allow the host to maintain its self better, in preparation for the joining, and which allow Dax a more 'stable' environment to operate in (which amount to "Sort Yourself Out Anon!"), but yeah. Dax is several thousand years old and its presence is rather overwhelming.
I think I'll watch DS9 after TOS
Ezri Dax is best Dax
Thez continues working, her fancy broom has been largely dis-assembled and is laid out on the table. Her pretty-shiny plates are stacked neatly in another spot. She loses composure incrementally, and several of her notes and diagrams are dotted with tears, but she continues to work, sketching/compiling/working on something.
>Thez working furiously montage themehttps://youtu.be/16eREt3db2E
What are you doing?
If you don't mind me asking."
"Winning," she says.
Torc incoherently mumbles
"Thanks for the information, real useful.">>31674
She reaches her hand to her forehead for a moment, and curses herself for a moment.
"Please excuse me," <whoooof>
About a minute or so goes by and she <whoooof> reappears wearing those ruby goggles that Lenos was always wearing (they were hers to begin with). As she reappears and resumes her 'work' she says to Torcuil. "In chess, one doesn't ever win by accident. One doesn't stumble into their opponent's checkmate, not to any reliable degree anyway. Someone has done this deliberately, and they have the element of surprise. I don't know who it is, and I don't know why, but before I even make my first move I am going to ensure that every move is a winning move."
>>31663>symbiotic life form>life form
Then why didn't it fix the problem when Tracy burned Infernius's entire body and grew a new body from his balls? I suspected he had some kind of brain worm.
I know you burned him but I missed the "to ash" part.
"So, military stradegy?"
Torc pulls up a chair across the table
"What exactly are you planning to get him back? I should be able to find him, and I still have plenty of his hair for spells."
"Find him? What's your method? My plan is to ensure that he can be followed wherever or however far he goes."
I said "to smithereens" in >>30981 →
Hmmmm. So you did. But, Infernius' player disregarded that as being effective. I can think of a few reasons for that (fire resistence, momentary etherealness of the invader, etc.) but it seems that its still Game On.
I still have his horn though.
"I was thinking of Scrying, but if you have a better idea, I'm all ears."
What class is Thez in general
*walks into room* (that she's only ever used to store body parts)
*inspects Soros's Arm*
>blood is probably dried up
>claws and look wicked though
>would make for great unholy blades or gauntlets
>maybe even a full plate of demon armor
*inspects troll and hydra skulls*
>one could plausibly make for a great enchanted mask
>this was a comment I typed earlier but never posted
What can Tracy do during this time? Her first action would be to feed her birds.
"I'm designing a device, a compass of sorts, that operates on the principles of Locate Creature. It won't tell range, or actual location, but as long as we're on the same plane, it will point toward his direction," she says holding up the hand that has his bull-horn ring on it.>class (kek)
L6 Horizon Walker>>31685
Thez has an item creation hax. Tracy doesn't know that yet, but get creative.
I know what 2 of those classes are.
"Smart, actually I could use scrying while you use that to pinpoint him"
Just say that the Dax didn't have enough room in the stupid bull's tiny brain, so it decided to control him via his balls.>>31686
Kek. I guessed everything but Horizon Walker.
Actually, that's a really alluring class, now that I look at it.
>>31688>Horizon Walker is a archtype of Ranger
Teach me your ways great one.
Can Thez make torc a magical cattle prod for the Infernius fight?
Shoots electricity and has a chance of paralyzing?
Horizon Walker is a prestige class based on a nomadic lifestyle, where the benefits are more to do with the environment that one inhabits than the specialty of a particular class.
Shadow Dancer is a rogue-ish class that is more about being elusive and trickster-ish than about stealing and backstabbing; its a largely performance (read: circus) based class.>prod
Oh....>yes to the prod
It better be enchanted in the name of Mike "shock the gay away" Pence.
"Thanks Thez, and don't worry. We'll get infernius back"
"One can't learn the ways of a Horizon Walker by studying or being lectured. One learns that by Walking."
These boots are made for walking
And that's just what they'll do
Someday these boots are gonna walk all over you
"Oh, I meant the ranger aspect...
But okay, I understand.
I have a whole list of items that I want someday, but the one that'd be most useful would be those animated Abyssal Demon Claws, so Tracy could function as if she had hands, and deliver devastating effects with a extra effects with them during her sneak attacks.
Well, Thez is gearing/strategizing up to find Infernius, and she plans on making adjustments to her own reportoire, so when the opportunity permits, say "Hey, I could use sum of deez."
Mike "If you like another man's rod, you'll get the cattle prod" Pence
Tracy lumbers through the hallways, in nightmare form, (her body is covered in 'affectionate' pecking wounds), dragging the Remains of George Soros's severed arm by her chains, headed towards the forge.
"Does anyone know if Lenos has gotten back from his date yet? I haven't heard from him in days." asks to anyone around
Trumpaladin, awoken from his cot in the monastery, has a few more words with the Spartan trainees, then rides Fae back to the tower
How many items are we limited to?
This is whst it sounds like.
This.I Would absolutely love a Mask of the Skull, and an Everwhirling Chain of Flame too, but I don't want to be greedy.
Torc goes to test his new rod on something
Maybe a chicken so it'll cook.
Pretend that one of the party members just flipped out and went apeshit, and that characters are thinking "Hmmm, if I were gonna go after him, I'd want a, <fill in this space>"
Mask of the Skull is just too much Haxxor, way too much>>31704
Well, for starters, I couldn't help but notice that I am the only
party member who can't poof out of trouble. So I most want a Helm of Teleportation. I want a Belt of Giant Strength as well
What kinda limits are on rings?
I think two can be worn at a time
I meant magic wise, I knew about the 2 limit
Thez absentmindedly takes off hers and throws it at him.
Currently you have a ring of Climbing and Jumping. What did you have in mind?
Girdle of Giant Strength +4
(please note, she's had that with her for friggin centuries, she's not giving it to you cuz she's feeling generous)
I seeUm... are other things possible?
Also, if I'm near thez:
"Do you know how to locate him?"
Uh, fuck. I forgot what I was thinking of
She bundles the shiny plates together, and the sword/broom parts. as well as several of the diagrams.
"I don't know what is happening, though clearly something 'is'. By the scenario, I would guess that the trail will lead to other planes, and depending on the plane, who knows
what could be in store. I'm calling in a favor. If, as you currently are, you found yourself faced with having to venture into places that were literally designed to eat your soul, what would you want to have with you?"
"What's worse, I can almost assume that there is some degree of counter-measure in store. This most likely isn't an isolated incident, and while I'm still trying to puzzle out "who", I would assume that upon any departure there will be a counter-offensive against the Port and any surrounding allies. Tl;dr Infernius was just the first move."
Well, if I were to have anything I wanted like a kid in a candy store, I'd want:>Animated Abyssal Demon Claw Guantlets (effectively +4 keen weapons (1d10/19–20) that afflict the target as if she had been struck by an energy drain spell (Fortitude negates DC 23) or Contagion (Fortitude DC 14 negates)>Everwhirling Chain of Flame>Mask of the skull>Shapeshifter's Armor (studded leather) of Shadow and Slickness>Horseshoes of The Peerless Steed>Mace of Blood and Terror>Berserking SwordUnholy Despoiler>Ring of Spell Turning>Eyes of DoomHeadband of Epic IntellectUnholy DespoilerLuck Blade
Of course, that's freaking ridiculous, but it felt great to finally let it out.>>31705
Dream bigger (but not as big as me because I'm just a massive faggot).
"I must admit, I really don't know, either what to expect, or what would help. Does a Paladin's Death Ward Spell protect?
Maybe a Cloak of epic resistance for protection against spell like effects? Mantle of Epic Spell Resistance? Mantle of Faith? Bracers of Armor?"
Can Torc get one of these, with a 1d4 determining element?>>31718>>31716
Is there a "soul-binding enchantment" that allows a characters soul to never be stole?
Also, what did you think of Trash Man?
"Should we mobilize the Generals and the Spartan Trainees for a home defense? Try to take over the Gestapo as well? Maybe send a pigeon to Baz to do the same in Sparintenar?"
No Skull mask. One hit kill is too haxxor in a game where everyone else has to deal sufficient damage
What are the stats for your suit of Chain Shirt? It could be upgraded to a Invulnerable Coat.
Also, get a freaking shield.>>31719One of those unholy despoilers was actually supposed to be a ring of animal friendship. The other was vorpal.
It's got a DC, and quite a few attacks in game are effectively "one-shot kill", anyway.
8O "You're lucky the circumstances.">>31721>trash man
I don't get the meme, but it worked alright. I don't know about the attribute rolling, but for a story element it worked well.>ring
"Maybe, but there will be a cost for it, a "to be determined" sort of cost (read, a 'favor').">>31722
Oh plz, Skull Masks r babbies first ebin magic items. They suck.>>31720
His suit is already plenty buffed. Its based on Celestial Chain, except neutral-aligned.
>>31724>What are the stats for your suit of Chain Shirt?
Already pretty enchanted. I think +8 AC. And I have Korak's "Bee" magic ring shield which is functionally a heavy shield. I don't have a tower shield, but I am not rated for it or for wielding the bastard weapons one handed either
That works>Trash Man
Glad you think he is good, cause he's coming back
Is there a Horseshoes of Speed we can make as paw pads for Fae that allow her to have those but still use a claw attack?
Um... a Cloak of Charisma is another good thing, especially since the bonus can be added to saving throws. A Stone of Luck is also good for saving throws
Specialized bracers would work, but they would be tailored to Fae and non-transferrable.
Whelp, Trumpaladin prepares a note:
"Demonic Incursion reported in Port Barry. A Brain worm that is capable of controlling its host, how the infection came about and what is to follow is unknown. Mobilize your defenses and beware of demons"
Is sent by pigeon to Baz
Essentially the same is sent to Sechs via pigeon, telling him to consider ways of protecting the citizenry
Fae is called in and asked to mobilize the Generals, and also now the Spartan Trainees, for a possible attack on the city.
A messenger is sent to Gestapo headquarters, telling them they have been transferred in their control because of the temporary incapacitation of their leader, and are ordered, likewise, to mobilize and prepare to defend the city
REEEEEEE! GET A REAL FUCKING SHEILD! It's inconvenient if you die!
Get a Lion's Shield, of Great Reflection: You don't even have to hold that.>>31729
You'll want a Circlet of Persuasion.We could also bind Fae's soul to the Shield and make it Intelligent, after she dies.
Or just fuck everything and ask of an Artifact, like an Iron Gauntlet of War.
WTF was this btw?>>31691>>31694>>31719
Noted, for simplicity>>31733
>waits for shit to go down
Also lion's shields do have to be held, but attack autonomously (they don't 'dance', they're just animated)
>tfw Infernius is gonna get my character killed
I hope you know what you're doing faggot,....
whenever the worm talks its "voice" sounds like mickeys.
Got it. Evil that>>31738
The lion's head is animated, but the shield is not. Its still a shield, just a bitey one.
>tfw you mistake GM for Trumpaladin
Um... Okay. I'll ask for a Lion's shield of great reflection, and a circlet of persuasion
Also a periphitat of wisdom and a headband of intelligence, because why not?>>31739
We can just leave him, right? Like I'd be fine just cutting our loses>>31743
Kek. MY POWER GROWS
noted. for when you need healing in combat.
Just for the record, can one wear a circlet and a headband at the same time?>We can just leave him, right?
Oh come on, man. You're the freaking Paladin.
>>31733>bind Fae's soul to the Shield and make it Intelligent, after she dies
The worst part about this suggestion is I'm not even wholly convinced it's bad>>31745
You're the one who made all of this bullshit happen. GM should have flunked your teleportation suggestion
Tracy should have caught you, she's like twice your speed
I will take the opportunity to point out that the literal weeks and months of inter-game planning is all moot at this point. All the careful strategizing and planning for in-world shenanigens is all taking a big back-seat, cuz of recent. I cannot stress how much you,... wonderful players ^_^`,... have pushed the envelope of GM responding to player input and activity.>>31744>cutting losses
That would be inconceivably out of character for Thez, but its up to everyone if they want to make a moral/dispositional decision.>>31746
Nope, just one>freakin' paladin
I'm ready, Torc is probaly gonna die, but I'm ready
... Where are we going?
best gm confirmed.
If I get le ebin items out of it, I'm more than happy to go through whatever bullshit we're about to be put through.
... Who's going to watch Tracy's birds while she's gone?
Still unknown. Torcuil hasn't cast his spell yet, and Thez hasn't had her device crafted yet.>>31756
Trollestia of course
Yep, no mount for me.>>31757
"Y'all ready for dis shite?"
Actually, take her, and the birds can fend for themselves
Thez finishes her diagrams and shite by writing a lengthy scroll, which she 'stamps' by drawing a small drop of blood, smearing it over her moniker.
"Any last requests?"
Light armor for Fae, and as many of these items as you are willing to give me >>31744 >>31729 >>31720 >>31705
"Lots, but they would be useless at this point. Should I scry?"
The mystery is part of the fun.>>31757>>31758
I thought she'd go with Torc..
Tracy, in the mean time, explains to Trollestia that she has to go catch the stupid bull. She gives her a long-ass lecture on how to take care of them, how often to feed then, when to make them sleep... etc. She sounds like an over-protective mother ranting-on to a baby-sitter
She can cast Sending right? Tracy will want status updates.>>31761
There are always more requests.
I do not want to die
Almost dying is the best part of living is almost dying- some greek guy
Newp. If We're going into Hell, we're taking a Celestial Charger
I thought she would too, but what the hell. I don't care anymore>>31765
You'll now die first for saying that>>31766
-Some German Guy
TAKE TROLLESTIA. You'll be more effective mounted and she's freaking powerful
>>31733>Lion's Shield of Great Reflection
Fun fact, the last paladin had one of those,... his is one of the heads on display in the mess hall.
So I've got:
Animated Demon-Murder Claws
Funky Flaming Chain
Mask of Skull (4 spoopy)
Shapeshifter's Well-Lubed Shadow Armor
Ebin Murder Mace
Unholy Despoiler (???)
Ring of Spell Turning
Eyes of Doom
Headband of Intellect (no ebin)
Unholy Despoiler? Again?
Bracers of Speed (Fae)
Lion's Shield of Reflecting
Circlet of Persuasion
Periapt of Wisdom
Helm of Teleportation>>31767
Uhm,... you might want to re-think that position
Wheres the chloroform?
What do you think happens amongst the 'natives' when a being that is the embodiment of natural and unadultered purity shows up in their midst? Its almost like what happens when an overly sexy young female arrives.
Thez inconspicuously adjusts her mask.
Are you telling me that Trumpaladin, Fae, and Torcuil are too low in auras of good to be of interest?
[1d100 = 68]>>31770http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic-items/rings/
1d100 for lesser medium ring cause I can't decide.
Mantle of Faith? Stone of Luck?
Compared to a Celestial Charger? Yes, in that order of significance
Hmmm, steelhand circle. I can accept that.
So Torc's is the lowest?
Well, you're not a paladin, so you don't emanate an aura of good, and you're also not a monster
I was just clairifying, I honestly don't understand what it means.
Oh. It's like an energy certain beings emanate based upon alignment that make them detectable to creatures of opposite alignment
In terms of "Who to rape/slaughter first", from that list, yes.
Thez wanders to the vault and overlooks the collection that's available.
One of those Unholy Despoiler Was supposed to be a ring of Animal FriendshipVorpal Unholy Despoiler of Luck, in place of the luck blade?I jest, of course.Unless…>>31761>last requests
Alright, can she have a Figurine of Wondrous Power (Obsidian Steed edition), in the form of a Pendant, so she can carry everyone home when they all fucking die?
She may as well put a shrinking carriage in her bag too.>>31772
As an Outsider with 15 HD and two levels in Blackguard, what's the magnitude of Tracy's Unholy Aura?
Pony who took steroids
No, friendship is definitely outside the purview of Thez' haxx.>figurine
Maybe,... he says to the hoers. (a pity Infernius has Uatchit)>aura
Decent, but everyone has one where I think we're going.>>31784>>31785
Is a steelhard circle out of hacking power?
Is there some sort of Magic "Oh Fuck" button or scroll or whatever that allows a nearly dead Trumpaladin to return to a plane he's meant to be on?
Is there a le ebin Composite bow or something for a ranged weapon?
Torc has ranged shit>just remembered I have a Christmas party tonight
Fuck, I'll probaly be gone from 6et to maybe 8
Where do you think this is leading? The 7 Heavens?>>31789
Nah, thats fine>>31790
Thez tosses Bob's Ghost-Touch composite bow at Trump. Its +2, and says "Swift Defeat for mine Enemies" whenever it's drawn.
Then torc will take a steelhand ring.
Thez continues by grabbing up all the loot she can before <whoooof>,....
<whooof> she grabs up more and <whooof>,...
<whooof> to be followed by more of the <whoooof>,...
<whooof> same. (She's looting the vault FYI)
I was thinking about a pendant in place of the figurine, since I guessed it was based off of a Nightmare in the first place.
Something that could allow her to Plane Shift once a week; the benefit would be that she doesn't have the 10% chance to carry her rider to a lower plane and leave them there.
Trumpaladin is grateful for the weapon that shall slightly forestall his death by rape
question to Thez
"Is it advisable to take Fae?"
She counts as a Celestial, doesn't she? Wouldn't she also have an aura?
I don't think she's a celestial, but I'm fairly sure she has an aura
>Trumpaladin's last interaction with Tracy was to be nearly crushed to death and placed in a constant threat of Asphyxiation by her
Last so far. That's what he gets for cursing her.
No aura that I'm finding, but they are distinguishably good so still has a target.>>31796
"There's nothing about this that's 'advisable'. Whoever goes on this venture does so at their peril."
Thez <whooooofs> again, and momentarily <whooof> reappears.
"Well, its done then. By my calculations, we should have a response in the next hour" (game-time, I will need to run for a few minutes tho).
I thought all Outsiders had Auras?
Also, what's Tracy's level? Is it overwhelming?
I need to leave in a bit more than 30 mins, to go to a parade my brother is in...>>31802
Ah, wait. I was mistaken for Fae's aura.
Idk what Tracy's is though.
"Good, I will prepare Mr. Trash Man for summoning. In the meantime..."
Torc begins to walk towards the stables, hoping to catch Trollestia before he leaves.the sound of spaghetti launchers cocking can be faintly heard
Brings a shaking hand down to pet pony, but is entirely unable to look at her. He appears to be shaken and disturbed, with a sort of thousand yard stare
Technically, everyone has an aura, but most auras are only discernable by detection spell/ability, except where specifically indicated. Fae, as an example, does not have a specific aura, so her aura pertains to her alignment, the intensity determined by HD.
Tracy has an obvious (and in some cases visible) aura, of a particular distinction and intensity,... but its nothing next to Thez'. Xp>>31804
21 Spaghetti Salute
>>31805Gawd I love this fandom
>>31806>21 spaghetti salute
Alright, I'm gonna do some meat-space for a bit. When I get back, Thez is gonna have the I'nis compass in hand. So, Infernius' player, I hope you have an idea of where he went, where he's going, what he's been doing, what he is doing, what he will be doing, etc. Alot of this is going to be on the fly on my end, but you've still got creative license on this. I'll open up rabbit then too so we can have sekret discussion about where/what next.
Can Tracy mount a Repeating Hand Crossbow on one of her Demon Claws?
>>31810>still here yay>has an idea
Well, that makes one of us Xp
>I'm gonna have to do meatspace shit in an hour
>probaly will be 2 hours before I'm back
That's a bit much.. actually.. Idk if repeating hand crossbows even exist.
She could just make a hand crossbow. and use it with the claws.Lightning claws would be awesome though. Just like in 40k.>>31813
Respond to your husbando. He needs to know if he is riding you or FaeEither seems to have advantages and disadvantages to me
"You can ride me any time, ~Flashy."
I g2g for hours now, sorry..
No problem, see you then
nice friendship marines.
Uhm,... just,... how do you plan to operate said repeating hand crossbow? Realize that the demon claws don't offer much in the way of dextrous precision re pic >>31694
>>31818>I know nothing about Warhammer
Should I just kms?>>31819
Youre still here?
Is Troll at the stables?
Wup, looks like the parade's cancelled, for me that is.. I can still post, but I have to do some stuff, so I can't commit my full autism for the next 30 mins.>>31819
I was mostly shitposting/daydreaming there...
Can the Claws be retractable though? I feel like that's a bit necessary, considering their effects.
I would say yes but you cant learn about them that way.
Fair enough of an answer
Welp, I gtg.
I'll probily be back in about 2 hours give or take.
Don't do anything groundbreaking while I'm gone
*sad parasite noises*
>mfw all I want to do for the weekend is Game, and everyone around me is like "Hey, since you're not busy, can I get you to <blur>?" "Oh, since you're off, could you <blah>?" and I don't even have my phone so I can't use the correct image to accentuate the point.
Paladins are immune to fear. Don't be a bitch.
*smug parasite noises*
Okay. Thez <wooofs> moments later with a huge chest. Opening it, she digs out a pair of bracers, a modified, double-bladed glaive, a pair of rings, and 2 bracelets.
No rage sword, no murder mace, no despoiler, no lion's shield. Otherwise everything is there (funky chain can be assumed to be Tracy's previous one modified)
...There's going to be consequences for all this stuff, isn't there?
This whole thing
is a big consequence,... to me more than anyone e_e
I just want to know the location we are going to, and basic intel on it soon enough. I still
haven't resolved the question of which mount I'm taking, but there are certain locales that make the choice a no-brainer
I don't know, this quest seems like the perfect quest of atonement for Trumpaladin
Pls no nerf Paladin abilities
When a Paladin falls, besides seeking the atonement spell, they are usually also tasked with completing a quest in order to regain standing with their deity. This also works well for the basic idea behind crusaders, which is that many of them wanted indulgences, and the Church specified fighting in the Holy Land as the price of the indulgence.
Yeah, I get that much.
Are you falling?
I certainly hope not
still don't know where we're going.
"Hey Tracy, you still got those bottles?"
She means the spherical bottle and the wee skull-shaped bottle, both of which have 1.5k jeweled corks.
Well, if you ever get tired of being a White Knight, you'll be welcome on the Dark Side.
*pulls out bottles*
Tracy leaves towards the stables, wanting to cram-in a few more moments with her birds before leaving on a journey to Godknowswhereistan.
Kek, the Blackguard in Pic 2 is still wearing his Knights Templar uniform.
You keep suggesting this like twice every thread, so I think it deserves a serious answer. There are real benefits to the Paladin class and Good alignment that would be lost if alignment were changed. The most severe loss would be the loss of Vanderiem. Vanderiem can only be wielded by a Paladin and bestows negative energy on Evil characters, but he gives +5 on all attacks against Good and Neutral, a +7 against Evil, besides critical hits automatically succeeding and other benefits. (Even if he is reluctant to kill children). I would also lose Fae, who would be missed. The Paladin Spell list, while not great, is still meaningful. And I'd lose Smite Evil, which is also a considerable loss.
Having said all that, after I get to level 20 of Paladin, I'll probably go for multiclassing rather than Epic Paladin levels
It does seem though that Black guards with levels in Paladin get some extra benefits to make up for the trade-off
Epic levels r gay>>31846
"Good, we'll need both."
11th or 21st is best level to fall under normal game rules; although if he traded in all of his levels now, he's get an Epic Bonus Feat.
What's his base attack bonus, as of now?>>31849>I'll probably go for multiclassing rather than Epic Paladin levels
If you're going to take it all the way to that level, just fall, worship a war god, and then level up in Divine Emissary. Then you'd get Domain Spells.https://dnd-wiki.org/wiki/SRD:Divine_Emissary
>>31849>The most severe loss would be the loss of Vanderiem. Vanderiem can only be wielded by a Paladin and bestows negative energy on Evil charactersWe'll use a Wish to corrupt him into an Unholy Despoiler, and invert his alignment-base powers.
Oh, I can't even begin to tell you how hilarious it is that you said that.
What will we need them for, and where are we going?
*Scared Paladin Noises*
Pic related sort of>>31852>Base attack bonus
+16 +11 +6 +1
If you asking for the class prequisites, he should have that covered. He'd need to grind to get the feats. The ranks are probably the hardest part, although obtainable if he advances in classes. He'd also need to summon an Evil Outsider with whom he is in peaceful contact, but I feel like I should also know the answer to that.>Divine emissary
Okay, how could I do that? Because Magic is the thing I am craving most>>31853
That's... an interest idea. I would want to Try to retain Fae too though. I haven't tried having sex with her, I feel like that should do something
Hilarious as in really dumb, or hilarious as in funny?
Also, just so I understand, Vadereim is an Intelligent Holy Devastator, right?
Vaderiem is a remnant from a previous campaign who has been used before. My guess is he meant either that Vanderiem was originally evil alignment and then switched by wish, or that some other player tried to do what you suggested to him
I also suspect this.
"He told you, he doesn't know!
He's an infernal slaying bane sword of quickened sharpness, who isn't actually holy, <HEY!> that's just what he tells people <SHUT IT YE!> and that he can be wielded by any class of good alignment. <G'AAAAH>
I also suspect this.
I also suspect this.
>>31857This is actually what I wanted the Luck Blade for,
I feel like you have a whole future planned out for my character that I did not intend on>>31864
Its not like i meant to post that three times or anything baka.
What I do know is that I can employ random encounters, as well as plausible consequences and affects per the environment in question (and will), and:
"Oh yeah, you'll want to leave a drop of blood in the entertron. You know,... "In case of bloody murder."" she says over-exaggerating the possibility of getting slaughtered.
You have no idea.
I didn't make those flowcharts for nothing. The booklet may be gone, but I know the plans by heart.
>>31867>leave a drop of blood in the entertron
Sure, why not?
Is that even possible? The description for "Wish" says it can create magic items, but can it alter existing items?
She should know better than to spook Trumpaladin. He's already spooked. >>31868
>>31871>He's already spooked
He's (still) a Paladin; he's immune to fear.
Don't be a bitch. Cowardice is against Code.
If Trump goes apeshit-blackguard? I'd so
allow it. Besides, he wouldn't have to change alignment at all; he'd still be Trump Good!>>31869
"Good. Also, I had these made," she coughs up the two bracelets (of friends). She has marked a charm on each of them.
*polishes helmet for the 6 gorillionth time*
I've spent more than enough time on this thing.>>31871
"Flashy, would you like to try this helmet on?" She says, holding out a goldsteel helmet that looks like a Trojan/Equestrian helmet, with a football helmet's cage-visor, and a red crest.
"I made it specially for you."
>>31873>he wouldn't have to change alignment at all; he'd still be Trump Good
Stephen F. Austin sent a group of several hundred immigrants illegally into Mexican territory. When they found that the Mexican government had abolished slavery, they started a rebellion against the Mexican government with the intent of taking the territory and ultimately admitting it into the Union as another Slave State to balance out free-state power in the senate. Stephen F Austin is celebrated in our Fourth Grade history classes as the hero who more than anyone created the world we live in today.
The Paladin class seems to be modeled on the Catholic Military Orders of the Crusades. And my specific character, or rather his Patron, is modeled on the America of James K Polk, William McKinnely, Richard Nixon, and Donald Trump. From a certain perspective, these are heros worthy of praise and bringers of Good. From another, they are villains and oppressors. And both claims have more than enough basis in fact to be valid>>31874
*stares at pony strangely*
*Takes helmet though, but does not put it on*
"Uh... what is this exactly, little pony?"
"Wear it and see! I spent weeks working on it."
[excited pony noises]
Of Failure, maybe. Fucker created the welfare state, started a draft to fight a bush war in South East Asia yet held back the B52s and... Just don't get me started.>>31877
"Uh... Thank you, Tracy..."
*Still hasn't put it on*
*Smiles nervously back at evil pony*
*wraps tail around ankle*
"Um... maybe later, little pony"
*tail is secured tightly around ankle*
"We have time. Try it on."
"I think Thez was making another helm for me to wear..."
"This one will be more useful on a daily basis, Flashy. I crafted it with your hobbies in mind."
"Uh... do you mind if I ask what those hobbies are, from your perspective?"
"Business and other talky-stuff."
"L-Let me think about it, little pony"
*pats pony on head*
"I feel like we haven't resolved our issues, little pony"
"I worked very hard on that helmet, Flashy. Please try it on."
There is a flash-step helmet in the chest, but it provides no armor benefit. It looks very much like a cheesy super-hero mask, made with brightly tanned and dyed leather straps.
"Why don't you try it on first, Little pony? I think it would look super adorable on you"