Luckily for the both of them, his sword bounces harmlessly off some form of invisible barrier in front of her. "Sorry, did you want some?" she offers Trump some of Barry's face.
So yeah. Last thread hit bump limit, so here we are. We don't have to start yet, I just had to eat Barry's face. I'll probably do it again before the night is over.
>Implying Trump ever suspected her to be anything other than a devil *Trump looks over to Tracy* Little blue pony, you have lead a life full of wickedness and sin. But today is the day you redeem yourself. Help me slay this demon in our midst *looks to torcil* Good man, you too may be of great service to justice and to the universe. Seal this demon, and send her back to the hell from whence she came!
>>2970 >Good man, you too may be of great service to justice and to the universe. Seal this demon, and send her back to the hell from whence she came! Nah, I'm good
>>2985 Thez chuckles. "Better. I though I'd have to thump you just for trying to give me orders! Barry, well he's an insufferable bastard of amazing proportion. He regularly and consistently falls short of his job expectations, knowing that he won't have to pick up the slack nor will be disciplined for it. He is a burden on those around him, is utterly contemptible, and he has bad breath.
[1d20 = 3] Thez's tail whips out and grazes Tracy's shoulder drawing a thin line of blood. Tracy begins to lose coordination and is having trouble standing. "Oh dear me, you don't look so good. Here, let me help you." Thez grabs Tracy by the shoulders. I'm assuming Tracy is attempting to resist?
>>2987 *Trump lowers his shield from protecting his chest section to protecting his legs* "Folly thinking you could every thump the Trump. Tell me, what job expectations does he fall short of?"
Thez hits Tracy in the lower back (stunning fist) and she momentarily becomes stunned (meaning, she drops anything she's carrying and lets go of anything she's holding. "You should be thankful, normally when I poison people, I rape them, but I'm not feeling it right now."
>>3001 Thez helps Tracy to her feet. Then looks back at Trump. "Are we?" she appears behind him. "Are we?" She appears upside down, in mid air, sitting indian style in front of him. "Are we are we are we??" she beams.
"YAY" She assumes a curious stance, her knees bent outward to the sides, her hands by her face in the posture of a peace sign. On her face she adopts a goofy expression and starts drooling bubbles.
>>3007 Are you kidding? Thez LOVES to fight, but doesn't often fight things that can survive more than one hit. Because of Trump's level and experience, he can. Maybe even two! But he doesn't know any of this.
K, so Trump is buffed with OFFENSE and has his sword and shield ready, while Tracy is now brandishing three knives and has DEFENSE enabled. Thez still has a funny look on her face, is still drooling bubbles, and hasn't moved other than her eyes occasionally shifting back and forth from Trump to Tracy.
>>3014 not yet *hobbles to hind legs and pulls out two more autistic movie props out of knife-cozy* ".. A little poison won't stop me. I've shrugged-off more blood-born infections than you could count..!"
>>3018 Trump is personally convinced that Thez is actually the one holding him hostage in the game, that he is actually immortal, and that he can defeat her in open combat, but thinks that there is a better place and time to do this
Trump smiles, as if to acknowledge the sexual innuendo of her grabbing his sword. "Very well, please forgive my impropriety. Years in the service have made me a bit suspicious"
"blue pony, I spoke too quickly. You may stand down"
She looks at the soldiers standing watch. "What the hell are you staring at??" she shouts, before realizing she's still all purple and nude and such. "Whoopsie!" she says before putting her mask back on. The guards exchange glances before one steps away from the wall and out of sight.
Feel free to talk amongst yourselves as I describe. As the group approaches the gate, you can see a sign that says "Welcome to Port City! A port city that would have a much better name if Barry wasn't such a douche and causing others to compensate for his lack of discipline and professionalism." The city its self is several miles long and wide. Trade shops, lodging and services, and a bustling bazaar are all located near the entrance to the City, while residential and governmental is further back.
>>3032 "I can cover you if you are want for money when we get to a pub..." *looks to make sure Thez is not listening, then whispers* "So as you know, we are in some sort of limbo in the afterlife. This one here, Thez, is a real demon. She could only be an agent of those keeping us from reaching the green fields of Mile High. We are already dead, and so we cannot die here. But if we could injure that demon - disable her for long enough - we can escape the trance she has left us in, and from those malevolent entities that seek to keep us enthralled, and to our Valhalla of Sports Authority Field"\r
Situated near the entrance to the city is a booth that says "Information center", and standing at the booth is this guy. Thez wanders over to ask for directions.
>>3037 >I thought I was talking to Thez Can we do names now? AANNYYWWWAAAYYY Eh idk tell you the truth I don't remember much Before(tm) Possible? Yes Likely? eh
The thing about Barry is that he works in another department from me, but its a department that I used to work and am exceptionally skilled at. Barry knows that if he does less than his best, the company will call on me to essentially clean up after him which I did, because though I could have said "no", it would only have hurt our productivity come monday, and I am notorious within the company (literally, they call me a nazi,... the irony) for being unwilling to allow unnecessary down time). Yeah, I got OT for it, but I had planned on scripting this session much more meticulously and carefully, but was unable to.
>>3043 If this explanation had been given, Trump would have immediately put down his sword. But he's a Paladin, so he wasn't going to let a face of a seemingly innocent person be ripped off without comment >>3042 I am banned from using the namefield by Atlas. No really, I am >>3042 "Don't you see? We are being held prisoner here in this dimension" >>3039 Trump feels as if he recognizes the man as an ally \r
>>3046 "I'm sorry sir, but there is a 5 shekel charge for information," he chuckles and rubs his hands. "5 shekels for directions? What kinda town is this?" "I told you, its 5 shekels for information," he continues to rub his hands together.
>>3050 Yes, yes of course. Anything for you my good goy,... er I mean, honored traveler. What can I help you with? "He says holding out his hand expectingly."
>>3050 >>3049 something something "must post under anonymous or name and capcode NO EXCEPTIONS" was the rule. Something about starting drama >>3052 "Good sir, could you tell us where we are?"
>>3053 Thez wasn't expecting that. "Oh,... here man," and hands the shekels to the fellow. "So yeah, I was like, wondering if there's like, prostitutes in this town. I mean you've got lots of sailors so I figured,...." she trails off as the fellow busies himself inspecting the coin. Its of an unfamiliar type (to him) so he carefully pours over ever detail, completely ignoring Thez. "Uhm," she says as he starts pulling out a pair of scales and a water glass. "Yes yes, just a moment."
He impatiently points toward the government buildings, not even looking up from his task. Using a couple of weights, he measures the weight of the coins. He narrows his eyes at this, and then marks the glass of water with a spot of grease, and then drops one of the coins into the glass.
>>3059 nice timing and roll After marking the glass a second time, he then pours the indicated water into yet another glass, with measurements on the side. The whole process complete, he smiles. "Yes of course, what was it you wanted again?" Thez meanwhile, immediately starts off for the whores.
"This city is an open port servicing all manner of mercenary and entrepreneurial operations he means pirate town. People come from all over to sell their stolen,... I mean totally legitimately acquired goods and exchange them with others or for services, which are available aplenty".
"For food there are several Inns that provide the finest kosher meals. The Sticky Wicket is our most popular, while the Rusty Duck has the finest service."
>>3070 He begins to chuckle and rub his hands some more. "Commodities. Why yes, we have all manner of commoditites, and if you don't, we can acquire them! Is there anything in particular you are in the market for?"
Another passerby approaches, looking curiously similar to the fellow at the booth. "Excuse me, I'm looking for,... fish," he says placing 5 shekels on the counter, which the fellow sweeps up immediately. "Yes of course! Would you like the usual fish, or are you looking for something more exotic?" "I'm thinking something more exotic." "Of course! The price will be 500 shekels, cash up front." "A pleasure doing business with you," he says depositing a phat bag of coin on the counter which also immediately disappears into the booth-guy's ready hands. "Your goods will be delivered to your room," he calls after. >>3073 "Gyrojet? I've never heard of such a thing. Memes? What is a meme? Meme, meme,... such a strange word." >>3074 His eye twitches at the thought of cosplay. "Ahhhh, a connoisseur I see. What type of costume are you looking for. Will you need any accessories?"
>>3075 He suddenly brightens, smiles, and looks again at Torcuil. "Oh, my mistake, I DO know of some mimi books you are talking about. I can arrange delivery if you would like. Cash up front of course." >>3077 "Good goy! I will not tolerate such language! There are children present!" >>3078 "Wares are available at the bazaar, as well as several of the shops that border it."
>>3076 "I could use a jacket-hoodie, spandex, fishnet-stockings, a garter belt, striped panties, a spiked dog-collar, anything latex, and fireproof boots. Could I find any of these items here? I could also use a saddlebag."
>>3080 He begins hurriedly writing down the requested items. "Yes, yes, of course. Will you be wanting a child for this,... expedition?" he winks 'knowingly'.
>>3083 The Belligerent Gnome stocks the finest in masterwork and magically enhanced weapons and apparel, while Previously Owned specializes in 'previously owned' goods.
>>3090 I'll offer you 100 shekels for a meme book, just one. I can pick it up after I eat Also I'll go to the Gnome >>3089 >Not using the thot b gone spell
Trump, Torcuil (and Tracy?) head off to the Belligerent Gnome. Meanwhile, Infernius and Yak Lee are standing in the field, drooling on themselves. The Belligerent Gnome is an emporium of death and please-don't-kill-me (weapons and armor) of all makes and models. They've got Full Plate, they've got glowing full plate, they've got flaming full plate, they've got (lots of plate,... and weapons too). The guy behind the counter looks familiar, but not identical to the booth guy.
>>3102 Good sir! Can you show me your finest weapons? Anything in particular for taking down large or demonic targets? Also do you have something to clean leather with?
>>3104 "DEMONIC! Oi you there, bring me on over to that lad over there!" Shouts a voice from behind the counter. The shopkeep grimaces before holding up his hands apologetically. "I'm uh, not sure that we have anything of the sort, not for fighting demons I'm sure." "OH CUT THE CRRRRRAP YA LILLIE LIVERED SON OF A RAT! You there! Customer man (its a scottish accent BTW), what manner of DEMON are ya wanting ta kill?!" "Sir, there must be something else I can offer you."
>>3106 "You want a staff,... with frogs on it?" he seems like he's expecting more. "OUT WITH IT YA AVARICIOUS PILE OF TROLL-FECES!" The shopkeeper finally relents and says to Trump: "I may just have something in the back, let me have a look." He gestures to someone behind the counter before disappearing into a room further back. He is replaced by another large-nosed man. "You said you wanted frog-staves? Yes of course," he wanders over behind some shelves, where you can hear a squeaking sound. He returns with a wooden staff with frogs drawn on it in some form of black ink. "And you wanted knives yes?" he directs Tracy's attention to a side display-case featuring knives.
The original shopkeep returns holding a large sheathed sword with brass fittings. "About bloody time I get some recognition and promotion. You've all gone soft under the watchful eye of VANDEREIM!!" shouts the scottish accent, which is actually coming from the sword. The shopkeep places the sword on the counter. "THIS is an ancient and holy relic, held over from some holy person I couldn't be troubled to remember. It was forged ENTIRELY for the killing of infernals (devils and demons)! "AYE! An I can drink any of ye under the table, that's for SURE!" the sword boasts.
>>3118 "That's the spirit laddie! Once again shall the wicked fall to my magnificence and humility!" The shopkeep smiles and says "This sword is one of a kind, and is available for the low price of 10000 shekels (he says, as though that's an insignificant amount).
>>3115 >>3118 >>3119 TRUMP BUYS THE DAMNED SCOTTISH POSSESSED SWORD although 10000 is a lot of money. Trumpaladin died with a lot of money on him... but that's a lot. He may have to kill something for hire or make Tracy steal it for him
>>3120 "Top quality eh?" you guys,.... "We have all kinds of knives. Bane, Defending, Flaming, Frost, Shock, Ghost-touch, Keen, Ki-focus,... can you be more specific? >>3121 "Yes, can you tell me the intended use? I mean, we have cold staves, and warm staves, and nature staves,...." >>3122 Tempted though I am to inquire where Trump is carrying 10000 shekels, fuck it. "Yes! YES! AGAIN SHALL THEY FEEL THE WRATH OF VANDEREIM THE MASTERFUL, MYSTICAL, MESSIANIC, AND MOST MAGNIFICENT BASTARD (sword)!!" And as he proclaims himself (the sword that is), a "Ahhhhhhh" sound can be heard from nowehere, and a random light shines down upon him. On the hilt is a face, and it is looking at you. "Oi, you're not much to look at are you?" he says to Trump.
The shopkeep takes the shekels and runs to the back so fast that you almost think he does Thez's little teleport thingy. His assistant stands in for him. "Can I offer you goys, er guys something else?"
>>3125 "Hmmmm,... perhaps a staff of Transmutation? That would allow you to perform alchemy,... that is, if you're into that sort of thing,... just an arbitrary guess,... at any time or place without equipment!"
>>3124 Tracy stares at the collection for a few minutes, looking briefly into her knife-cozy every few seconds. "... I....." she trails off. "Can I test one out first? Keeness of edge is very, very important to me."
>>3124 *Trump can still write valid checks for weapons procurement from the public funds* *Trump looks down at the holy instrument whereby he shall bring liberation and justice* >>3126 "I'll need a sling for my assault pony and a sheath for my Vandereim. And tell me, what special armor or hammers do you have?"
>>3129 "No amount of money to help our greatest ally is too much," Trump remembers a politician telling him, and it showed in the budget of the Imperial Guard
>>3131 Hearing this, the assistant smiles "Then I know just the thing," he wanders from the counter, but mentions to Tracy "Yes, just don't bleed on anything. There is a dummy over in the corner (there is)."
>>3132 I whisper to the group after he leaves Okay Idea, I can ask to see the staff knock out the assistant, and then we can take what we want. thoughts?
He returns a moment later with a javelin quiver. "I'm sorry sir, but we've never had a request like that (assault-pony sling?), this is the best I can come up with. As for you," he says indicating Torcuil. "THIS is a staff of POWER. It is not known the manner of types of magic contained within it, and many of its previous owners did not survive to either discover or record its secrets." The staff is oak in design, well worn but regularly oiled.
"I am not very knowledgeable with its use, but I do know that it can do this. Shirak!" He proclaims, and the top of the staff begins to emit a bright light, brighter than any torch. "Dulak," he says, and the light disappears.
>>3133 "That could attract unwanted attention, and I'm not sure it will be necessary. Either my checks are valid and will pay for our procurement with the credit of the Free World behind it, or they won't know that they are invalid until we are well out of this town" >>3134 Just a classic sling will do, make it big enough to support the blue pony you see over there. And tell me, do you have any polearm weapons? Preferably long, well-balanced, axe on one side and hammer on the other"
>>3137 "We do have some masterwork halberds, but nothing magical I'm afraid. As for the sling, I can make an order with one of the tradeshops, though it may take a day to fabricate."
>>3137 "Wot the bloody 'ell di ya need a halberd for boy? You've got VANDEREIM THE (he repeats his litany)!" >>3139 "BOTH staves! Goodness, the total price for both comes to 11,000 shekels," he can barely contain his excitement.
>Has already teleported into the testing area and tested every edge in the deluxe category and separated the good knives from the cheap rip-offs, which she has left in a pile in the corner "They're.. very good.. I was looking more into the specialized-offensive category, but... *bites lip* I'll take the collection!" She declares, a bit a-matter-of-fact-ly
>>3141 The merchant seems to be having trouble standing upright and he grabs a towel from the counter and places it 'in his pocket'. "The whole,... I, excuse me," and he leaves for the back-room. "Be right back!"
The original shopkeeper returns from wherever he ran off to, clearly excited and enthusiastic to take your money. "Good patrons, you have excellent and cultured taste. The grand sum for the objects you wish to procure is 18,000 shekels, though I'm sure that's nothing for gentlemen (and mares) of your calibur. Since the sum is so much, we will accept guarantee checks for a small premium (cost of doing business). Your total comes to 18,781 shekels, " he concludes after a bit of math.
>>3140 "Can you kill a giant? Or grow a few feet longer?" Trump asks Vandereim >>3138 *At the suggestion of it taking a whole day for the sling to be made, Trump wonders how long it woyld take for the merchants to process a bounced check, and he wonders of the "Assistance to Zion" Act, which authorizes indefinite use of tax payer funds and the public credit for purchases of military arms from those of a certian race, and especially where it could conceivably advance the ends of the chosen race, still applies in this twilight realm* >>3142 >>3147 No price is too great for our greatest allies!
>>3145 To your moderate surprise, the rock shudders for a moment before assuming a bronze-red color. The transmutation was successful, you have a chunk of pure iron.
>>3146 the pic of a drawing made me thing it was oc art, but I knew you werent the faggot who came up with Tracy >>3148 My brother, I am indebted to you But I will not repay you in the "special ways" tracy is >>3150 >I pick it up, keeping if incase it may be useful Also COMPLETELY off topic What are shekels made of?
>>3148 "Ah kin kill anything that needs killin' lad! Yew're lookin' at the sharpest blade in this whole Game (it is, I broke the rules making 'him'). I can't get bigger, but ah can fly! Watch this lad, toss me in the air!" Vandereim encourages Trump. >>3149 "In rare cases we will accept quality second-hand goods, but we prefer to deal in new merchandise." >>3151 Shekels = gold
>>3148 "Oi! Wait lad,... there's somethin', somethin's comin'. Somethin' WICKED. OI, take hand of me and lets get tah KEEELIN' (the wicked, that is)! Its comin' closer! Ah think its comin' this way!" He gets more excited as he continues.
>>3154 Okay, this happens before the caveat. Upon throwing Vandereim in the air, the sword spins once and then stops, hanging in the air for a moment. It then slowly glides to the ground, as though virtually weightless. You also notice that it has a square tip, not intended to be used for stabbing. >>3156 "Good customer, if you will simply render the funds we can conclude the transaction."
>>3156 >>3155 >>3157 At the suggestion of Vandereim, Trump decides to pay the good man using a check clearly backed by the public credit, and leave the establishment under the pretense of looking for food >>3156 "Alright, do that as you follow me"
"I was hoping to save these to hire Nicolas Cage to appear at our wedding ceremony, but.. *bites lip* I can figure that out later. It's not like they cut well, anyway."
As Vandereim continues to encourage Trump, Thez (still in Urri form) walks through the door. "Here you guys are! This place SUCKS. The whores here act like they,... wait, whats up guys?" "THERE! THAT'S THE VILE,... NOW JUST WAIT A SECOND! GILANA?! WHAT THE BLOODY, WHAT THE FECK ARE,... YOU'RE THE DEVIL?!" He seems to think for a moment. "Wait a second,... that means ah kin KILL ya now! OI! (Talking to Trump) hoist me so we can put an end to this foul creature!" Thez however facepalms and says "You've got to be fucking kidding me."
>>3162 Don't thank me, you can thank the good citizens of (what nation is Trumpaladin from exactly?). It is they, not I, who have paid for this assistance to the great merchant people. >>3163 Sensing that it is not quite the proper time for this, Trump mentions over to the merchant "Excuse men, can I get the sheath for Vandereim?" takes, the sheath, and tries to sheath Vandereim until the time is right
>>3167 >Trumpire "Wait! No! You, aw ye pansy," V laments. "You haven't heard the last of me wench!" >>3166 "They wouldn't even let me see 'em! They told me I had to pay to walk in the damn door!" >>3165 I'm not sure which one is Cain's demon-slaying one (though there is a demon-slaying one) is, but sure.
>>3168 "No, but I might try it out. It's nice to know who last used a tool..." Tracy say nonchalantly, as she gathers up all the knives in the store and places them into her little sack.
The assistant walks up to the shopkeep and whispers in his ear. He whispers back, they start slap-fighting each-other, and the shopkeep turns back to face you. "With all that, I simply need a guarantee of payment and our transactions are concluded." ^_^
The assistant proclaims. "Due to the immense load of,... business you have brought our fine shop, I have been assured that your lodging and food are gratis at the Sticky Wicket. Their able staff will be waiting to serve you free of charge, whenever you should desire to patronize their establishment."
>>3169 "Don't you worry, your time *will* come," Trump says to Vandereim as he sheaths him >>3171 Trump tenders a check with special insignia to the merchant. "This is basically a treasury bond. Credit of the highest order. All the banks in the world will fail, and the sun will fail to rise, before the government skips out on an interest payment. But I'm sure your fine people already know that from decades' experience" >>3174 Thankfully that is unnecessary >>3175 Huzzah! To the Sticky Wicket!
>>3177 The merchant doesn't recognize the markings of the document, but given that Trump coughed up 10000 shekels (thats enough to buy a Keep BTW) he's not parsing hairs. He smacks his assistant and directs him to direct the party. >>3177 "Its not ME time that's a comin' lad! That one's not ta be trusted! Say the word, and we can reign not-hell down upon 'er!"
So the assistant leads the way to the Sticky Wicket, a 2-story Inn, bar, and grill situated conveniently in a convenient place. Its convenient. At the door you are greeted by a large-nosed fellow. "Good afternoon!" says the door-man as you (?) make your way inside.
>>3178 >Trump whispers to Vandereim - "Oh I know. That's why I bought you" >>3178 *Trump is disturbed by the possibility the credit was not recognized*
The Sticky Wicket offers an ample buffet of deluxe-priced foods, as well as a bar and grill for more specialty entrees. There's a fireplace, a winding staircase (leading to the rooms) and seating pretty much wherever you could want to sit. Thez says "Now we're talking," and wanders to the bar. Another jew (oh lets not kid ourselves) wanders over and asks "Do you have any baggage you need assistance with? Your reservation was called ahead."
>>3187 "Very well sir. Here is your key (no 33), second hall on the left, upstairs. Would you like something prepared for you, perhaps there's a dish you'd like prepared?"
Thez walks back with a frustrated look on her face. "10 shekels for a drink? What kinda operation is this?!" she crosses her arms impatiently. "Ya'll are lucky I'm lawful,...."
>>3190 Trump takes the key, "Great! I'll take a Taco bowl as an appetizer, an angus steak - well done - and for desert I'll have a chocolate cream pie with not one, but two scoops of vanilla ice cream"
So basically, the stage is set for everyone to settle in. Torcuil has a pair of staves, one the worn oaken one and the other a weathered-green copper shaft (transmutation). Trump has an ever-talkative bastard (sword) on his back, and Tracy has sooooooo many new knives,.... <3 The food is decent quality, Trump's steak being suitably well-done per his taste, while Tracy's steak is so rare its bluish (the best way to eat a steak FYI). Torcuil fills up on Argentine Joint, potatoes and greens, when the cook appeared from behind the scenes,... sorry, and proffers cakes, pies and pastries. Thez finds herself a vacant spot on one of the couches surrounding the fireplace, and sits in irritated contemplation.
>>3195 >>3200 Aren't you like a pony though? Should you be eating steak at all? >>3202 After the meal, Trumpaladin enters the room pr rooms, and is careful to check all possible entrances and exits, and whether the group is split apart across several rooms
As the evening progresses, the various pirates, er sailors, make their way to their rooms (being on strict schedules of rape and murder). Torcuil retires first, followed by Trump, and then (presumably) Tracy, while Thez contemplates from the fireplace. Stillness permeates through the building, nothing untoward occurring or registering from inside the party's spacious (you got a good room) accommodations. Everything seems peaceful and calm,... until suddenly one of those big-nosed fellows (though now his face has fur and big whiskers) punches through the floor. The fellow is clearly incapacitated, but also clearly bestial. From below you can hear Thez chastize herself: "I knew it. I FUCKING knew it! Come on then motherfuckers! Let's get MeSsY!!"
From inside the room, the presence of several stomping feet can be detected from the lower floor, and an increase in ambient speech suggests that several people have decided to enter the Inn for 'an unknown reason' and are engaged in a heated exchange. Some thumping and shuddering can be felt through the building, and a feeling of uneasiness slowly creeps over the party. Except for Lee and Infernius that is.
Afterthoughts: >>3203 You're surprised that Tracy Cage is eating meat? Also, Vandereim proceeds to proclaim that whatever is going on downstairs is clearly a result of you not killing that wench. >>3202 >gave money to a Jew Good luck with that. No spoilers but,....
>>3209 I see. It's the same as happens in "The Shadow Over Innsmouth" by H.P. Lovecraft. Thankfully, Trumpaladin has prepared for precisely this situation. Since I was kind of expecting it. But not furry jews. That was a total surprise. See >>3203
commence blatant plagiarism the plot of that bookTrumpaladin kicks the rat-jew-whatever back down in its hole and alerts his party (which apparently is in the same room as him), and goes through the door between rooms into the vacant room adjacent, but not before barricading the door to the main room. There, he barricades both doors while looking for a way from the second or third or so floor to ground level. After climbing down to the ground level, Trumpaladin goes through the less well lit and silent alleys to the edge of town, and hides in the river bed under a bridge Okay, I don't know how much of that my character can do, but that's more or less what I would have him do outside of cinematic mode
>>3214 You find yourself in the field you last spoke to the party in. There is a Yak here. You seem to have zoned out for a while. Its night time. In the distance (from the city) you hear a commotion.
>>3213 >tfw I'm plagiarizing HP Lovecraft and I haven't even read him It happens. As for Trump,... we'll say that he gets to the adjacent room and barricades both doors. We'll work on the rest in due course.
>>3217 With a mighty cry of "REEEEEEEEEE", Infernius charges toward the town, his mighty sword in hand, wondering WTF happened while he was stoned. As you enter the city, most of the buildings are closed and darkened, but there are a couple buildings still light, one in particular surrounded by individuals with characteristically large noses.
>>3222 Don't get me started. Thez could have had her way with you, but she was still pissed about Barry. Speaking of which, I forgot to kill him again. >>3223 There's not a small-nose to be seen.
>>3225 As you approach, the trailing one turns and looks at you. "Oy vey!" he exclaims, which alerts another couple, who then turn and "Oy vey!", leading to a cascading domino-effect of "Oy vey!, Oy Vey!, Oy vey!" that travels through the group. There's about 30 that you can see in front of you, as well as more inside the building. Combat from here on, so probably better to stop
[1d20 = 5] >Denziens of a mysterious town invite an outsider to, among other things, stay at an inn on a second-or-higher floor. That, night, the entire town masses to try and capture and kill the outsider. In fact, pretty much the entire town is amassed there to the degree that the rest of the town is more or less dead. In fact, I'm betting the furry jews will call forth masses of reinforcements from the sea >Exactly as happen's in Lovecraft's "The Shadow over Innsmouth >Exactly as I was expecting would happen Trumpaladin, I'm guessing now barricaded in the second room with Tourcil and maybe Tracy, says "I knew that cashier's unfamiliarity with the insignia was a red flag. Check must have bounced. And hush Vandereim, I don't trust that snake down stairs, but not everything is her fault."
Trump looks out the window and checks for any way to get from the room to the street at ground level. Roll for detection
>>3231 Damn, I had no idea. Its not quite as bad as you describe, but you don't know that yet. As for the rats (were-rats, simplicity FYI),... well Trump doesn't know but Infernius can see no less than 30 of 'em. Also, friendly GM reminder that these were-rats are sentient and will not walk into extended weapons in the same sense that zombies will.
[1d20 = 10] >>3233 In the book, the protagonist is alone, is a college student, and has at most a revolver. He's also outnumbered with the entire town against him *and* 5 times that number coming in from the ocean. So he has to escape by stealth. In this case, Trumpaladin is well armed and has probably two well armed companions with him, but he doesn't want to engage the were-rats. Partly because he thinks they are after him for a bounced check, so they are sort of in the moral right (Remember that his background is not what you would call "red pilled"; he does not mistrust jews or jewishness); partly because he doesn't want to piss off the were-rats too much (they can burn down the inn with him in it); and partly because he is extremely outnumbered, with possibly the entire town against him, and who knows what or who is docking in the harbor. So Trump seeks to exit by stealth, and spook the were-rats with Varmereim's taunts if they break through the door
>>3236 You're not trapped in a small room in a flammable building completely surrounded by were-rats who took your personal information down earlier. Also, your character is an anti-semite
Something to be aware of with regard to combat. While individual scores are the rule, in cases of joined combat/maneuvers, combines scores can apply. For example, let's say Infernius had a 30 strength (he doesn't, just saying). This would make it so he can pretty much minotaur-handle any shmoe with a 10 strength unless he rolled a 1 (str check is score +1d20 vs. opponent). Having said, if 3 10-str shmoes worked together to man-handle him, they would collectively have a score of 30, on par with his. Similar bonuses can apply with regard to flanking and other coordinated efforts. Additionally, if a character is rendered 'helpless' (unconscious, bound, held {magic or physically restrained} or otherwise made unable to resist or defend against an attack, they can be automatically 'coup de grace'd by an opponent as a standard action (avoiding attack roll cuz helpless). So for example, while Trump could have essentially waded into zombies cuz they're idiots and he's in plate, if he waded into were-rats (arbitrary example) he's probably get ripped apart. ^_^ Also, this fight is going to lean a bit more on maps, positioning, range, and combat sequence. G'night!
I'm not set on anything at this point,... but I'd be lying if I said I wouldn't be available. In the meantime,... this is just one of the maps I should have had available,... yesterday. Blue is windows, maroon is furniture (tables, chairs, stools, and couches), and purple is the secured party area.
>>3250 >wants to add an entire vidya brand to the game mechanics >is already a MLP Minotaur, cleric, with a greatsword, for Adolph Hitler e_e I'll look into it, but I promise nothing
>>3254 IK, it used to be called Spelljammer. >sigh >>3252 I'll say this; IF certain resources which are/will-be available to the party are successfully utilized, WHICH is reasonably possible, THEN Trump MAY get the opportunity to cross-class as a space marine. As for 'Witcher', I've never played so I don't even know what kinda properties a witcher has. Curiously, the space marine (getting ur ass to space aside) is the easier to incorporate.
im not much into SCI FI or Star wars for that matter, but if this franchise is going as badly down the drain as the rest of the post 2000 media, you are in for some terrible shit. Studios these days dont produces quality, they dickride on their name. It was made by people who were not genuine artists, but fans of the product who wanted to film their own bad fanfiction or were hired with current year contracting practices. Either way, people will still pay for it because star wars, but this is also why it is going to shit. The brand name has become an anchor and is dragging the thing to the bottom of the quality sea.
>>3246 >>3249 Okay, so looking at the map layouts, it looks like it might, just might, be possible to go through the second door and into the room closest to the stairwell. Once in that room, exit through the door and onto the main stairwell, then down one floor onto the second floor balcony. Then jump the one floor down to the ground on the opposite side of the building as most of the were rats are located. Inferius will probably inadvertently serve as a distraction to help facilitate this
>>3293 I won't say no, but I should point out that the image on the right is a sideprofile and not an overhead (I should have notated). So, your plan could work, except that there are only 2 floors. Other then that though, yes.
>>3296 Oh I see. In that case, it would be easy enough for all of the characters to escape out of the room they are currently in through the window onto the street only one floor down, probably with the help of curtains or bed-sheets or some sort of rope.
>>3297 We can see from the diagram that the mob is located in large measure outside the main entrance to the building, which is on the other side from where the windows would have us exit. I also believe there are some immediately outside of our doors, although it's possible we have a clean shot down to the first level, but we couldn't get out that way without going through the main door were the mob is, and they *could* be in the hallway, so I'd rather go out the window. Thez is in the first floor, and Inferius is coming on the other side of the mob, so I think we'll have enough distractions to make a clean get away out the window
>>3297 Good question. Other than the face that just punched through the floor, the mob status is not seen except the outside edge by Infernius. The 'main' room door (for the party's "declared" room) starts banging, though Trump (aptly) secured the first AND second room. You can tell it is a 'decent' sized group.
[1d20 = 19] >>3302 >>3303 Alright, well I'm going with the "Shadow over Innsmouth" option. Roll to looks for any items that could be of use in exiting from the window to the first floor. Also, look out the window to see if there is danger.
>>3312 You might not have wanted to phrase it like that,.... There is no window in any of the rooms currently occupied, the windows are on the sides of the hallway. >>3311 You detect commotion. Double digits downstairs, double digits upstairs, even more outside.
>>3292 Now then, Yak Lee. You, unfortunately, awaken from being passed out in a field. The same field that sits just outside the city where all the commotion is occurring. You (more than anyone) are free to decide what to do. However, its night time and the only thing lit up at the moment is the city, and that's clearly the center of activity, so,....
[1d20 = 11] >>3313 >>3318 I see. We go through the door between rooms to the first room, then exit out of that door into the hallway,and then through the window from the second floor onto the ground level. Before this is done, it may be helpful to 1. make a rope of bed sheets to help get down to the ground 2. pick up a table and use it to battle through rats, break the window, and anchor the bedsheet rope, and 3. have tourcil cast a spell stunning rats in the hallway Roll for whatever needs rolling Also, is killing were-rats going to have consequences? Ideally I'd like the party to get out out killing no one
>>3318 Gold jew? U mean the booth guy? >>3319 >no killing wew! Pic related is what you see on opening the door. >>3321 And Yak Lee becomes the wind and spirits toward the city.
>>3322 My character is under the assumption these are reasonably normal town folk who are pissed off that he and his party defrauded them out of lots of money, so it makes sense from his point of view
>>3328 Regardless, if they stay and fight, that gives the were-rats time to bring in reinforcements. And this is a town literally based on being a port of call for people whose job it is to kill people for money. They were able to summon ancient weapons of extreme power very easily. It's best not to be bogged down in a confrontation
And the quads go to,.... >>3333 >>3310 Alright, you scream "I'm an anti-semite!" and then run away, and though you don't know it, almost run into Yak Lee who is sneaking in the opposite direction. Yak Lee watches the were-rats dismiss the minotaur and refocus on the building.
[1d20 = 6] >>3332 Alright, proceed to the third room and collect a table or some item, along with a bedsheet >>3330 If you want to test on a rat, test on that rat closest to the window when we exit into the hallway
>>3338 Yes. No offense, but you just showed up (from their perspective, you've been outside the whole time; they don't know you're even associated with the party) as far as the town is concerned. Also, they don't call them 'semites' or 'anti semites' here, so from their perspective you just yelled "Purple Monkey Dishwasher!" and then ran off with a big sword.
[1d20 = 16] >>3343 Break the window with the table, and tie the bed-sheet to the table. I'm guessing Tourcil should go first since he's the least apt in Melee against the rats right there in the hallway that are not gold
>>3341 >using the table and not the ridiculous bastard he just spent a mint on The rat nearest the window is easily able to avoid such an unwieldy weapon as a frikkin table. e_O >>3344 And here I thought I could get away with not detailing the kitchen. Yes, there is a door in the back of the kitchen.
>>3347 K, done. You're on the south end of the kitchen corner >>3350 Wat 19? Oh wait, I found it. Okay, pic. >>3351 You would(will) stab them, but Torc just turned 3 of 'em into gold.
>>3350 >The rats near the window are supposed to be gold In any event, Trumpaladin puts his weapons on his belt, puts his shield on his back, grabs his pony, and jumps down on the bed sheet >>3351 *grabs pony and jumps out the window* >>3352 Which ever rats you cast the spell on. There are about three rats super close to the window that would be in the way in an attempted break through
Tracy is still sneaky, but the ones on the right are moving closer. Also Torc is in brown can't... do... plaid but he's in the hallway too (in order to transmute).
>>3355 Tracy stabs Torcuil. Kidding. >>3357 Push, completely successful. You want him to go out the window? Cuz you rolled a 20. Fuck it. He goes out the window, and the window is broken open (its not something you could open anyhow).
[1d20 = 1] So! Infernius is rushing back at the mob. They wouldn't expect the minotaur to come back (they don't know why he came and left) so he gets an attack of opportunity,... with a greatsword,... against an unsuspecting foe.
>>3364 "Hurrgen furrgen?" >>3363 I'll accept it, except that the rats have closed in and I'm assuming Trump would get in their way before the others (since Tracy is still being sneaky) >>3366 So bad, that I'm willing to let it be a "In a charging rage you tripped and went barrelling into them, causing several including yourself to end up prone and disoriented. No one got harmed, but wtf?
>>3365 Eh, nvm I switch to the wooden staff, and say "I call upon the powers of Mike "Deus Volt" Pence" Before trying to cast lightning I also mumble something about hoping this will work
>>3372 To the Ground level away from the main group of rats. From there, we can either 1. head out of town and into the forests and grasslands, or 2. go to the harbor and acquire a ship
I'm certain Thez will collect the others and bring them to us
>>3370 With gestures, his worn oaken staff, and a "please motherfucker", Torcuil unleashes,...
A wave of electricity. It is something like a lightning bolt, but also like a ball. Its not something he has ever seen before. Oh, and it travels down the hallway you came from, and while you can't see ALL the rats that were there, the ones you can see fall over. I'm sure they're just sleeping.
[1d20 = 5] >>3379 Alright we should all be on the ground now outside of the inn, and away from the main concentration of rats. We may now consider calling out for the other members, although that would alert the rats to our presence. We must also decide on whether we want to go to edge of town or deeper into it to the harbor. Also I want my sling, and we could raid shops if we have enough time before leaving.
Rolling for whether rats are on the street and within line of site, though none in the main concentration out side the entrance to the inn should see us
[20d20 = 173] So Infernius (unless he wants to die) springs to his feet as a few standing rats approach, weapons ready. "You are not what we want, LEAVE this place!" he says hissing and spitting. >>3384 dice Tracy? Yak?
[1d20 = 3] So for simplicity's sake, I'm gonna say that all but the 3 that Infernius already knocked over were distracted at the mention of shekels. Infernius gets to his feet as they do. Trump and Tracy (unless stated otherwise) are behind Torcuil, and Torcuil is casting a "burst of supersonic shekels" (IDFK what THAT means, but I can work sommin') Yak Lee sees from his position that the lounge area has seen better days, that there are rats who have seen better days, and Thez is giving them what-for (with her tongue at the moment, don't be lewd).
>>3392 ... causes his rat to diminish in its resolve to attack, tho he's still kicking. Meanwhile, the supersonic shekels (again wut?) manifest as a field of gold that suspends its self in the air in an arc in front of the rats. Though largely useless against militant targets, the fact that there's untold shekels just floating in the air is too much for the distracted rats to resist, and they begin wandering toward the wall.
[2d20 = 23] >>3407 K, just checking. Upon darting toward the door, two rats attempt to block your progress. Since you declared a preparation roundhouse the f out of whoever,...
As Yak Lee finishes laying out (but not killing) the two who got shown he rocked (nice BTW), Thez appears from the other end of that wall-partition and sees Lee standing over two foes. "Not bad. We'll have to spar one of these days," she says before darting toward the door (the main 'mass'). >>3420 >Fine, I WON'T try and control space and time,.... The staff goes "Pfffft". Pffft
Alright! Fight is over! You don't know why, but let me tell you. I'll start with Lee. After Thez commented to him and dashed off, he looked to the mass of rats still in the entryway, whom Thez just disappeared in the midst of. At the same time, Infernius slashes away at the rats in front of him, gashing several (but he needs to learn to finish one off before moving to the next) but slaying none. At the same time Trump struggles to come up with a plan. None of his surroundings are particularly strategic or useful, but that won't matter in a sec. Tracy,... well I'll leave any lewdness out of it (its implied tho) is "by Trump's side". Torcuil begins to question his gender identity, to a degree he may regret at some point (muhuhahahahaha).
As this is all happening,... a portal opens in the air over the entryway. Its the same sort of portal that Yak Lee popped out of, and is horizontally positioned over the entryway (so the "forward" position is "down"). This portal shimmers in the air above the general assembly of (((them))) before a sole and unmistakable sound can be heard. "BBBBBBBBRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPP" (a burp, not a fart) As this sound issues forth, so too do gouts of liquid (lit napalm) spew forth from the portal. What happens next is a mix of horror and splendor depending on one's disposition. On the one hand, you have a multitude of over-sized rats literally dissolving and/or burning from chemical and flame-induced burns, on the other hand you have a bunch of (((them))) getting what they deserve for trying to kike the party (you don't know, but I do). Ultimately, only a VERY small handful are able to escape the beautiful and terrible display, and those are mostly incapacitated (all are unwilling to fight now).
After a few moments of peace/calm (the whole party was stunned by this, even Thez), a 2' tall, golden/black-haired brownie (think Spike, except humanoid) flops through the portal. He places his hands in his pockets, looks around, (recognizing Lee and Thez) and says, "What the fuck is wrong with you. I've been watching the whole thing, and you've been acting like bitches. You DO know they were about to go Giga-Jew on you right? >giga jew
>>3429 Trumpaladin wanted to run away from the rats and go steal a ship in the harbor, but nooooooo. Everyone just had to stop to fight the rats for an hour, giving them time to form a giga jew. We could have set sail for Tahiti by now, but no >>3429 >Trump struggles to come up with a plan Trump leaves to the harbor
>>3435 Fail, rats don't use quarterstaves (bo staves). >>3434 Fail, plate armor hinders their agility and dexterity. Rats prefer (and wear) hides and leather (maybe a smidge of chain, but as support-accents) >>3430 "Hah! Maybe you and everyone here in tandem, but being that you'd be its first target, I wouldn't bet on it. If I were to guess, you'd probably have gotten mangled while it chased after the others. How far THEY got would depend on THAT one (pointing at Thez) and that in its SELF is a risky venture,...." "Hey, you shut up." "And even then, the best that could've been hoped is an ignoble retreat."
Now WITHOUT revealing anything to the characters,... this scene was inevitable. (((They))) were gonna come after you from the moment Trump dropped a 10k sack of shekels on the counter and THEN credited another 18k. They were gonna rape, murder, jack, and loot you for everything you had, and then identity theft, fraud, and otherwise kike everything they could from your rotten corpses. That's what they have done, and thats what they would have done. You don't know this, but YOU do.
... with Trump's script (even though its literally invalid in this world) they would have stolen fortunes, simply cuz there's no check-scanning, micr-reading tech to validate. Tl:dr the party has weak opsec (including Thez). Luckily, these were (((rats))), as there are far more savvy creatures, factions, and entities who may have more to gain from molesting the party?
>>3442 I thought Trump handed over zero in shekels and paid 18k in credit that was later revealed to be worthless, giving the rats good reason to come after Trump
>>3445 Yes, but. (wibbledy-wobbledy flashback blur with harp sounds) Initially, Torcuil decided to proffer fake shekels. Through meme he made them appear real, but that only lasted until the shekels went to the next (((rat))), who easily and quickly determined they were fake. Here's the fun part (again, char's don't know this) it didn't matter. Whether or not the coin was 100% authentic, (((they))) would still have found a reason to decide you weren't entitled to your belongings and have come after you. Even before you distinguished a degree of means (again, 10k is a keep, just for reference) they had their eye on you because Torc dropped 25pcs without blushing. I have to stop here cuz there IS a bit of undetermined theme here, but basically: (((they))) have been watching since you arrived, your entire interactions, and you (the party) distinguished yourselves as being "most probably worth the effort". Previously, they have had no difficulty of those worth the effort, simply because random algorythms have no ingenuity, and can't think beyond attack, slash, and steal (you have to understand the NPC mindset for this to make sense). So, when the 'subject' fought back coordinatively, they were caught unawares. Also, Yak reminded me that Lenos was watching this with his feet back on the console, and he does like to brownie-burp (trademark, no spoilers)
Now then, the elephant in the room. (u DID notice right?) Since inception, the party has participated in the destruction of: 137 zombies 4 fire giants 1 7-head hydra and now ~50 were-rats >time for swag
>This is all not to mention that the town had become slowly and incrementally over-taken by (((them))) to the dismay of the existing population which lacked the ability to prevent (((them))). >>3453 And? Are you expecting them to wait for you to brandish a unicorn horn?
>>3455 Glad you asked. Vandereim can only be used by a Paladin, and they haven't seen those (ever) so they thought the sword wouldn't work (not that it did e_e). The staves and knives were assumed to be 're-acquired' upon the party's death, so they didn't think they were 'arming' anyone, since they would just take back what had been sold. What they were doing (again, non-character spoilers) was encouraging the party to stay, to participate, and to feel (ish) temporarily comfortable. They THOUGHT that doing so would ruin party morale, making them easy targets. Its been over a century since the last player (of this "group") who gave a damn. Again, this is storyline spoilers that chars don't know.
Even if the initial coin hadn't been fraud, they'd have accused the party of fraud anyway. They wanted everything the party had AND everything they could manipulate into ownership through the party's means. The party was a very appetizing dinner plate, in short. ^_^