The party has found its self overlooking a rocky hillock leading toward a town into which several large and small rivers connect. Chirpy birds 'bweeet' from their nests and posts, while squirrels jubilantly roll in the dirt (they do that FYI) while foraging for resources. It is the very depiction of the phrase "Whatever could go wrong?".
Join us new viewers and anons, for a spectacle of autism and bemusement. ITT we continue,...
>>2424 Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. I have never tripfagged, so thats an ineffective criteria. I am the anon who has created the world of the Game. I alone grasp the 1000s of years that have led from session to session, party to party, and anon to anon. I alone know the secret of that superfuck who keeps firetrapping the rooms, and only through me can the player perceive anything other than a bunch of grown men playing with imaginary dolls. Pic related, shall I go on? Tl:dr This is a sincere and consistent transition from the last session to the current.
For those unaware, the game typically runs on Saturday nights, with wanton bants to be had as available through the week. Meaning, Saturday night (ish, depending on timezones) we get together and pretend to brutally murder shit. We engage in thoughtforms of creation and negation, to arrive at a point where none are truly satisfied and all are wanting more. I can wax idiotic about the metaphysical gainz that result of such practices, but knowing doesn't augment (indeed, it inhibits) progress developed along these lines so I will stop.
>>2430 This aside, players are freely welcome to interact with their environment (within reason) in an agreeable sense to many forms of console gaming (except gainz, those have to be approved. Everywhere r gains.).
>>2426 Ah, I see. You threw me off your scent for a minute there. When logged in as a moderator, a hashed version of the IP address (which is based on a hidden formula and almost impossible to reverse engineer into the raw IP address) appears between the name field and the flag. It is divided into smaller parts, making it very easy to memorize the first few letters of a hash after only a few viewings, and making it way to distinguish familiar IPs from new ones. Effectively, this gives users a global ID. In your case, you had a hash beginning in zMjJ for perhaps a month, and then apparently changed IPs to one appearing as CNFY
>>2433 Wage war then, anon. Tell your body, your organs, your cells, that this (((infection))) will neither be tolerated, nor will it be allowed to last. That your(these) responses are mobilized is a credit to the threat, the only response to which is elimination. Tell your body this with equal conviction, and it will respond in kind
>haz no idea how his IP works,... he thought he did until was proven wrong As long as you all know I'm the long-winded, sadistic devil-monk enabling, game-masterbatoring, conscripting, awesomer-than-eber-else-cuz-reasons DM, thats fine.
>>2462 If u mean Red Bull (sudden inspiration), no worries. If character is 'advanced' (high 'maintenance') then hit me up (ITT) about some of what we (as players and interactors) should be aware of. Note, I didn't say anything goes, but if its reasonable?
[1d20 = 4] >>2494 You suddenly feel very sleepy, and are having difficulty standing properly. "Oh dear, are you feeling well? Do you need to lay down? Let me help you," >Grabs Infernius by the hand >Both disappear for,... about a half hour. >Rape ^_^
Thez wipes her hands off after finishing her last bit of bird. "Mmmnmmm okay. Before we get to wherever this place we're getting to, there's something you should know. Due to the radically unpredictable nature of the Game, you can pretty much count on any edifice of civilization that we find will have a Player behind it. The location will have aspects consistent with the various world or origin of its principle. The place we left - the pyramid - was one such place but as is obvious it has fallen into ages of disuse. So, whatever place this is <indicating the approaching walled city> be certain that there are vested interests that our arrival will not be accounted for."
>>2537 Just be thankful that I can't control your auditory experience. That first encounter with zombies was supposed to have a small orchestral ensemble who played (over computer speakers) the Walking Dead theme on repeat, until the players eliminated them. When the hamsters come out, I would (will) force players to listen to likewise until,.... termination? suicide? madness?
>>2552 Again, you're describing character personality not class. If your character were dedicated to raping pedo priests for example, they would be suited to defeat clerics. Other sorts of rapists would be rogues, barbarians, fighters, etc.
>>2578 Yak Lee, fighting monk and all around cool guy. Okay! You are welcome to begin at any time.
Alright, you find yourself in a room. You're not entirely sure how you got there, and its relatively bare. The walls are an opaque glass, with what appears to be a sliding door. There is no furniture except for a chest of the same glassy material, and the bed you find yourself on.
OH! Not only are you a Yak w/ hooves, but as you open the door your monk-senses start tingling. Diving behind the door as a spark of magic ignites, you easily avoid the subsequent explosion. The door is open to a hallway.
>>2605 You are in a large pyramid structure, still made of the same glassy substance. It is spacious and well lit, and there doesn't seem to be anyone immediately around, though you can hear some noises further in. You're at the base of the 1f on the left
>>2607 >these 20s The stairs are central, with sections to the left and right. The right has a looooooong bookshelf with all manner of books, as well as tables and chairs and magicky stuff. On the left is a set of double-doors, a window-counter thing, and a statue of the greatest man alive. Mr. John Elway.
The doors bang open, revealing a large mess hall ringed with all sorts of crafting and technical devices. Seated at one of the tables is a brownie. A brownie is a 2' tall fey creature, this one having black and gold striped hair. He is smoking a cigarette and drinking liberally from a tankard very nearly the size of him. As the doors bang open, he shifts his eyes to see you. "Yo," he says.
>>2621 Looks at it. Looks at you. "That'll do," he says. "So this is kind of your new home. You probably don't remember it, but you died sometime 'recently'. Now you've been brought here. The name's Lenos." Offers his hand for real this time.
>>2634 "Whatever you want. Me, I mostly just set things on fire and by things he means people, but whatever floats your boat. There are others by the way, but they're off doing,... well I don't know what they're doing, but they left a while ago."
>>2638 "Challenge accepted!" he swigs the rest of his beer and then wanders over to a tap sticking out of the wall. "So. Here you'll find everything you need,... ever,... except raw materials. There's a machine or device for whatever you might want to accomplish,... you'd probably like that burlap striking pad next to the coffee-machine, but yeah this place has it all. Let me know if you have any questions. There generally aren't any actual fights unless everyone else is present, and that's a tangent in its own right, but for the most part this building is here for you and others to utilize.
>>2640 He puts the joint behind his ear and the seeds in his pocket. "They're gonna be surprised when you show up, but when you do don't mention me. Just play it off," he winks at you before heading through the double-doors and up the stairs to the dais. He looks irritatingly at the sphere. With a 'tch' he waves the sphere away, draws up an interface protocol and starts tapping away. The sphere is replaced by a stargate-looking orifice. "If you really want, stepping in that will put you right next to 'em. Tell the purple one that Lenos sent you." >meanwhile Elsewhere (meaning everyone else) a weird upside-down whirlpool appears in the air about 15' up, a little ahead of your progress.
>>2642 You jump through the portal and experience a moment of disorientation. A moment ago you were going forward, and now you're going down, all in the same direction. Since you're a monk though, you successfully land on your feet. Not far off are a Minotaur with a freaky-big sword, a most-resplendent Trump-lookin' dude in overly shiny armor, a light-blue pony with knives and a weird expression, and a hippy in pale hide.
>>2652 This. He's dressed in simple garb with clear signs of wear (he's not flush with cash, to be sure), but everything about him seems clean and disciplined. The Minotaur is holding his massive sword, the blue pony is sharpening a knife (and is the last to notice you), while Trump seems unimpressed and the tartan fellow seems to have caught a breeze and is adopting a statuesque pose.
[1d20 = 10] >>2714 "DON'T YOU DARE GET IN MY WAY, YOU FUCKING SPORTS DRINK PARODY! IMMA FUCKING CUT THIS FAGGOT!!!" *goes for the yak again* >>2716 (in baby-doll voice) "Just defending your honor, ~Flashy!"
[1d20 = 1] >>2720 "WTF is it your problem?! This faggot literally just fell from the sky and assaulted my husband, and now your defending him?!" >>2721 "Oh no you don't" *Pursues on all fours, brandishing knife in maw*
[1d20 = 9] >>2725 Fuck! >I assume I tripped or some shit >>2728 >innocent "IMPLYING!" >>2729 >no memes to create affect "Dumb frog-summoner!" >>2730 Roll to invert the affect of your spell using the demonic power of soccer
>>2741 HAHA NOW YOU HAVE TO LISTEN I paint "Thot" on tracys forhead and put her in an "intresting" positiom with infernis And bandage up the Yak dude still confued where he came from. After moving him safly of to the side I call "The Game" back into play
>my sides Okay, lemmme quick arrange this. You have Trump, who is glaring-face and suspicious. You have Torcuil, who is relatively (literally) the expert, but he's not prominent in the interaction. You have Infernius who likes smashing things (and is looking for an excuse). Also there's,....
So, Tracy is all blades and wariness, Trump is resolved and resolute in his resplendent armor, Torcuil seems indifferent, Infernius has a raging (inclination to do stuff) and Lee is the new guy, steadily making his way through the group
I have to admit to being a little unprepared. It didn't (never does Xp) go how I intend, and I apologize in my inability to roll with 'the punches'. We're on the verge of some story-uniting shit tho, so any inconsistencies will be ironed out quickly. Tracy fully climaxes on Trump, (cuz she said so), and Thez is STILL displaying an IDGAF posture in the midst of it all. Again, it wasn't planned, but fuck it all. >>2794 >rolled a 1 >sighs Whatever you intended, it went awry. We'll leave it at that. >_< >>2795 Sleep well, until next time.
>she can't restrain herself and starts uproariously laughing "Sorry, sorry, I couldn't help myself. (chuckling incessantly) If you've seen Lenos, well that means a number of things." >>2811 Yea u do "Is he around? I looked for him but I didn't see any sign. I thought he'd been reset with the Game." Thez offers
>>2815 She sniffs the air while the other players (?) stare idly. Glancing at them, and then back at you she says finally, through squinted eyes: "Okay! Don't die tho!" (the behavior is inconsistent with the apparent Hippy who is acting out the behaviors)
>>2826 Nitrous, I had oral surgery. It looks like it was fun though. The intent was to allow the characters to interact a bit before entering the city and that seems to have occurred, though there are a couple times where I can tell my mind was wandering and I could have gotten to the fucking point. Oh well, it definitely won't happen again.
>Deep breath Alright. This is not game time, but I'm going to start describing things. The rocky hills slowly calm to sweeping plains as the group continues to plod toward the city in the distance. The city it becomes apparent, is a large and bustling port town at the edge of some waterways that the GM is not proficient enough with geology to render convincingly (yet), but adjacent and attached to the city is a large dock capable of housing (and indeed, is housing) several sea-faring vessels. Excepting a single tower, the city its self is still largely obstructed by the massive walls (which upon growing nearer show signs of wear, abuse, and deliberate non-friendly fire) which are ringed with cannons and ballistae. Several distant roads and bridges can be seen snaking their way toward one another and the city its self. Its too far away yet to see individual people, but you can determine that the city is largely commercial both by land and water.
Thez and Yak Lee finished conferring with regard to his appearance, while the greater party kinda just watched confusedly. The overall perception is that Thez has an idea of what's going on - to do with someone named Lenos - and that Yak Lee is not a threat. He is a yak tho. For Yak Lee's benefit, a description of the assembled party. Most visably commanding is Trumpaladin, a glorious and shining example of charisma, dignity, righteousness, and Football. In brilliant shining armor, a thick tower shield slung over his back (for travel), he is both a radiant banner and a walking tank. Ever nearby Trump is a 3 1/2 pastel-blue pony in imprecisely-torn hide with a bandolier of wickedly sharp kitchen knives. Alternating between quadraped and biped movement she also talks, and displays a personality as sharp and as particular as her cutlery. Towering over everyone except Trump (and Lee) is Infernius, a Minotaur cleric of Adolph Hitler. Mein Kampf in hand and a massive Zweihand slung over his shoulder, he plods with deliberation and focus on his face and in his step. Next comes Torcuil, a bearded Scotsman in a billowing tartan robe. He has a small note-pad with him that he occasionally references and makes notes with, sometimes causing slight bursts of color and magic drawing various looks of satisfaction and confusion. It can't be determined precisely what he is doing, but it is clear he is doing some experimental reasoning. Lastly there is Thez, who though having presented herself briefly in her true purple manner, has reverted to appearing as an old hippy in in worn and ragged suede blankets.
>>2873 >thot spray; monk v cleric Undetermined so far With monks, think shaolin, martial arts, etc; ascetics and all that. With clerics, think anywhere between holy priests to battlefield god-champions.
>>2875 >think anywhere between holy priests to battlefield god-champions Thats a big difference So your >angelic voice heald everyone preaching the wonders of being a Nazi And >the god hitler smites the enemy with gas and easy bake ovens ??? Infernius which are you?
In fact, you've probably had to listen at some point to a rant about ziggers, kikes, both-and, or 'other', through intervening moments that we'll just assume 'happened' while walking across this plain. "You guys need mounts," Thez offers cynically.
>>2911 No, a unicon is a fine mount to choose, but Thez is talking about how you could have been there much faster if you guys had mounts. You couldn't have ACTUALLY been there faster, cuz its real-world time sensitive anyway (meaning, there is no way you could avoid her giving you shit Xp). Still noted, unicorn.
>>2914 >tracy being nice to me What universe have we entered >>2912 I shall name it Robert the Unicorn >>2918 Man-o-tard >>2920 Another intresting fact, there once was a scottish curriency called the Unicorn. Not relevent but what the hell I have a couple shekels
Thez suddenly springs to life as her faggot returns from whatever ridiculous and ill-conceived task that he got roped into doing, and she does NOT look happy. I mean, she still looks like Urri, so I suppose its Urri who does not look happy. So unhappy is she, that a red-faced fellow in navy coveralls - accented by high visibility tape - stands up out of the grass a little in front of the party. He's wearing a nametag that says "Hello, my name is BARRY", and he is quite confused to be here, now. "What the fuck, who the fuck are, wait a minute, jesus, its not even human,..." be stammers out as he looks at the assembled group. Thez however, steps forward. "Let me help you," she says, before ripping his head off and eating his face.
[1d20 = 11] >>2956 "The Demon has unveiled itself!" Trumpaladin yells as he draws out his sword and shield. "For Barry!" He yells, only after uttering a prayer to football. Trumpaladin evokes OFFENSE for a coming attack