The latest segment of our little adventure begins with the party frozen stiff,... because we ended it on a still-frame. Trump is bleeding and bruised, with an almost unnoticeable limp, while Tracy is still shuddering from Trump's ill placed hand earlier. Thez is nearby flicking giant-brain from her shoulder, while Giga-Torcuil - essentially a giant bearded scotsman in a plaid robe - wrestles with a 7-headed hydra (and losing I might add).
By the way, had I remembered that there was a hydra in MLP, I'd have used imagery much sooner.
Crap, wrong image.
There. So that, except with 7 heads, and most of them have a grip on Torcuil's 'not suited for wrestling with hydras' forearms. He's a bit of a bleeder it looks like.
For those not in the know, this is the continuation of a hybrid Dungeons and Dragons campaign which has been modified to suit anonymous image-boards. New players are always welcome, please just announce your interest in playing and we'll figure it out as we go.
Lurkers are welcome, please don't be disruptive. ^_^
Wait. Why am I bleeding and bruised.
Also, do to changes in rules, I don't think I am allowed to namefag anymore, except with my discord/site name
As motion resumes for our players,... motion does not resume for our players. What does happen is that the Hydra resumes snapping and tearing at Torcuil, but he almost immediately falls backward as though he's no longer moving,... because curiously he finds himself unable to move. Tracy also finds herself stuck in that pose of ecstacy , unable to break free of some form of magic that appears to suddenly be operating.
Only Trump and Thez seem unaffected by this sudden change,... oh and the Hydra too.
You got smacked good and proper last session.
Wait wut? Namefag/discord wut?
Besides, we're savvy, ur the guy who keeps saying what Trump is doing
So... how injured am I?
As Torcuil falls over sideways, the Hydra looks around for impending threats, before turning for a moment to look behind it. You can't see what its looking at, but for a moment it flinches. Its seven heads scream and it begins to charge away from the group, before with a sudden jerk collapses, dead.
As the dust settles, a <cli-cli-click, cli-cli-click> can be heard slowly making its way toward the now settled battlefield. An enormously tall and weirdly slender figure begins to appear through the dust, it stands approximately 20' tall. It can't be made out, but the top appears bulbous and awkward while the rest is slender and insectile.>>1806
I'd put you at 55%. You're not going to incur any penalties except movement, until healed that is.
Pic is clearing. Dark red are bodies, black is new figure, colors correspond to characters (giant brown cuz I don't have plaid as a color Xp)
As the figure steps more fully into view, you can see that the figure is actually two. Walking around at about 12' tall is a slender and wickedly barbed, evil corrupted, praying mantis on steroids lookin' thing, robotically prodding its way along. At the end of several of its legs are wickedly jagged claws and it has a sinister air about it.
On its shoulders stands an orc.
Thez breaks into hysterical laughter
"You STILL have that thing! That's too good! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
The orc is not amused. He stands at about 6'5", and is garbed in traditional orcish shamanic attire (beads, bones, feathers, that kinda shit). Though clearly aged and weathered, his muscles are finely chiseled almost as though of stone. He gazes a perma-glare across the settled battlefield.
"You. Explain yourself." He says to Thez.
[1d20 = 15]
>Thez's eye twitches
Now hold on a sec. I know this is weird and you're feeling familiar 'cuz you recognize me but everything else is weird, but that doesn't mean,....
He cuts her off in a sweeping, dramatic gesture:
"If you won't do as I command, then DIE!"
A small green beam fires from his finger and bounces harmlessly off of her.
Apparently, that was supposed to have worked.
"You're still not done with that, are you?" she boringly observes.
He gathers from within and about himself, does a crazy song and dance and from his hand bursts forth a shower of flame that immediately extinguishes its self as soon as it makes contact with her.
She yawns prolongedly.
"Look here zombie-fist, if you wanna have a go, lets do this, otherwise the alcohol-computer is online," Thez shrugs.
[1d20 = 6]
The orc jumps from his crazy-bug-mount, makes a gesture toward Thez, and begins to chant.
The bug slowly advances on her in a weird sideways-forward advance before one of its largely apparent (it has so many) eyes fires a red beam at her.
Thez easily sidesteps the creatures red beam of hate, and calmly closes distance.
"You know I'm gonna break it right?" she taunts the orc as she enters a ready stance.
From his back, the orc produces a wicked staff that looks like a chunk of 6' farming fencepost. He then drives the staff of weird metal agains the ground, the section he was holding turns into a finely wrapped grip, while the remainder turns into an obviously-magicked 4' flanged and barbed and burred and wtfe'd monster-club of metal doom.
As his black mantis-thing slowly flanks Thez, he readies his ridiculously abstract bar-mace.
>Plz note: during cinematics, die rolls are DM-in person (on my kitchen table).
The orc closes into striking range.
Thez - attack of opportunity (due to orc's advance into her threatened area). Ready stance
(at this point I am going to depict some of the finer points/maneuvers of combat), attacking incoming attacks (-4 to attack called shots).
Orc rages, and is surrounded by swirling magic (divine power, atk bonus up major).
[1d20 = 1]
Mantis-creature fires a grey-ish beam at Thez which
[3d20 = 44]
Fails as the creature stumbles on some random debris.
Thez maintains ready stance.
Orc does a song and dance and doubles in size.
To clarify, the orc is now about 15' tall. He carries a 4.5'diameter wicked bar-mace of mauling which he menacingly waves at/around Thez (who is still bored) before attacking.
[1d100 = 74]
His first swing misses as she vaults over it, the second she spins underneath, and the third squarely connects, concussively striking at her lower and upper extremeties a the same time, such that several dislocations can be seen as her body contorts.
But then the Thez that can be seen getting brutalized and the Thez that is standing curiously behind the orc, watching the orc brutalize 'the Thez' become apparent. The brutalized Thez slides apart as though made of shadowy sand.
"You've been slacking on your melee skills, Slag"
Thez chides before golf-swinging 'Slag' about 51' away into a tree-line (with her broom).
After a moment of satisfaction, Thez turns to Trump, Tracy, and Torcuil (who is on his side, but can see her).
"That's Slag. I'm probably gonna have to rough him up for the next hour or so. Please, for your safety, go inside the pyramid so I can proper stomp this ugly motherfucker.
>Thez beams a smile before dispelling the magical hold on Torcuil and Tracy.
Slag stands up from the edge of the tree-line, clearly enraged by being so unceremoniously sent flying. His strange mantis looks at him, unsure how to proceed, its arms waving menacingly in the air at Thez. He makes a quick gesture in her direction and performs another song and dance, this one causing small black flames to erupt acoss his arms, increasing the air of darkness around him.
Thez - Ready stance
Slag - Free action - direct mantis; cast unholy aura.
Mantis - Fire cold beam
Thez fails(?!) her saving throw, and is hit with a beam that causes small ice crystals to grow across the surface of the strike point, and she winces visibly, but is otherwise unmoved.
Thez - Ready stance - Dimension Door on successful attack. Charge 'Juuken'
Slag - Barbarian Rage
Mantis - Close distance and full attack
She holds up her left hand beckoning Slag to 'come get some', as he starts to Hulk out. The mantis closes on Thez's side. She voluntarily forfeits her attack of opportunity and the mantis unleashes a barrage of attacks swiping once, twice, a third time, then it attempts to bite her, swipes yet again before zeroing in on her with its eyes.
As the creature fires another beam, this one yellow and arcing with electricity, Thez vanishes from her spot and the beam passes harmlessly through. She appears simultaneously in the air behind the Mantis, and strikes it in the back of the head.
As she strikes it, the Mantis' head explodes as though hit by a cannonball. The insect begins to flail around and swipe at the air before curling up on its self and becoming motionless.
"I told you I was gonna break it,..." She goads as Slag, his over-the-top chunk of angry murder in hand, charges her in a bloodthirsty rage.
So, we're just watching this?
Thez - Ready Dimension Door; Strike any incoming attacks, wait for opportunity
Slag - Full Round Attack
As he gets faster and faster, he attempts a particularly aggressive strike.
His speed and strength visibly augmented, Slag rashly swings (almost) wildly and without coordination, while Thez playfully dances around the battlefield. One swing after another connects with either air or the ground (He gets 4 when he's raged).
Thez - Rabbit stance, stunning fist, sweep
Slag - Full Round Attack
A second round of swings brings him no closer to even hitting her, let alone doing damage. Still, he shows no signs of tiring.
"Should I even bother using my fists? I know, I think its time for some rabbit-style!" She begins a fluid motion with her hands and feet, ultimately ending in a low crouch with one leg extended to the side, her arms held above her head like bunny ears. Slag lets out a blood-curdling roar and brings his bar-mace down upon her head, or starts to that is.
Upon lifting the mace over his head she did a quick little hop forward, bringing her body forward leading with her now crouched legs,... which both then kick forward in a blow that successfully knocks all available wind from his body, and jars him enough to cause him to drop his weapon and double over. Landing in a crouch next to him, her tail whips out and sweeps his feet out from under him landing him on his back in an undignified heap. The wind is still knocked out from him, so he loses any further action this round.
"You must realize by now that with the size of that thing, there's only two ways you can come at me. And now your bug is dead,...." she laments. "But MINE'S not!" she brightens and pulls a small fly-pin from her hair, which she throws to the ground.
Slag grabs his mace and begins to climb unsteadily to his feet, as the fly-pin grows to a length of about 9'lx4'wx4'h, wearing a gilt-covered saddle. As he readies his weapon, she steps on the fly which takes off immediately, but not before he fails to land another two blows.
The fly flies up about 20 feet, just outside his available range, where she just stands there dispassionately waiting for his autistic rage to wear off.
For the moment. You're welcome to interact/input at any time. Slag comes from an Orc/Barbarian tribe where dominance is established through combat. Though he always loses, he always tries to put her in her place.
Before I go on, a note about ready-moves. Instant actions (pointing, saying something) can be done at any time, and a player can assign a number (not excessive) of ready moves during combat, though only one instant spell is allowed per round. So saying, Thez uses a strategy of readying a dimension door spell, while maintaining a stance from which she will strike any incoming melee attack. The effect is that she blocks any attacks that she can't outright dodge (assuming she has enough attacks per round) and upon a blow landing she releases the dimension door spell, avoiding any damage.
Battle monks are haxx.
Normal actions are essentially 2/round except attacks, and except spells (1/round only). More than one attack per round requires a full round attack, which attacks with all available (unless otherwise desired). Some spells also require a full round to complete, but those are less common. Also, to cover a large distance (30y or more) takes a full round.
Players are not required to be that specific with combat, but are certainly encouraged to at leisure. It allows for a slightly more dynamic combat, where characters can in some ways anticipate their opponent's move and counter it strategically rather than only by a chance die roll.
This is especially useful with mages, where a timely dispel can be the difference between lulz and burning.
Concluding the cinematic fight:
Slag, unable to reach Thez during the last few moments of his rage, thrashes at the ground around him with his weapon before observably returning to himself, his breaths becoming labored and his posture one of obvious fatigue. Still holding her fly, she rotates around its thorax-vagina so that she appears seated on it, but inverted and on its belly.
"Are you doooooooone yet?" she cutely teases.
Even more furious at his disgraceful display, Slag's eyes shoot darts at her before he finally decided he has had enough. With a sharp glance toward Torcuil, Trump, and Tracy (hey, trip T's), he storms toward the pyramid.
"Don't mind him, ever since he first showed up he's been all "Die!" and "I command you!" and "Silence!". I get the impression he is used to being in charge, but here NO one is in charge!" She says looking now at the T's, her ponytail dangling upside down 'above' her head. "Anyway, I'm gonna get busy bringing these things inside," she indicates the recent corpses of the giants and hydra (incidentally, there's still zombie corpses littering the area,... just thought I'd mention). "Trump and Torcuil could use some medical attention, and I should be done by then".
For the next (undisclosed amount of time) Thez will be seen occasionally whoof(that's the Dimension door btw, think Nightcrawler from X-men)-ing around the corpses, and slowly dismantling them. First she collects all the armor from the giants, then she starts harvesting resources from the hydra (scales, teeth, claws, choice bones, etc.). As the last rays of sunlight disappear over the horizon, there is now several piles of neatly sorted items over by the workshop.
The giants didn't have much on them except for their armor (for those that did), but that in and of its self is huge (not only cuz giants either). There are now sufficient stores of metal to craft any sort of melee weapon or armor you would want. The Hydra however, is where its at. The scales of a Hydra grant damage reduction to whatever armor they are applied to, and the teeth can be used to augment bladed melee weapons. What's more, the smell of cooked hydra emanates from the mess hall, in addition to a large (several cows worth) pile of meat (as a commodity or w/e) thats now being stored in the walk-in.
Isn't Hydra blood deadly poison? Hercules tipped his arrows in it to instant-kill several monsters.
I won't be nit-picky though....
Well, not as specified by the listing in the Monster's Manual, but (whoosh) yes, poisonous (plz note, poison use without poison skill can have consequences ^_^). Thez didn't know that in any event, so its all still outside in a pile of hydra.
>>1838>not saying Tracy wouldn't have such skill, just leaving it out there as a cautionary
>*continues to savor the moment*
Thez notices Tracy watching the overall proceedings. She says "You're a little banged up yourself, you want a healing potion?">offers a small vial of bluish liquid
Incidentally, if you're wondering where she is pulling/putting everything from/to, she is wearing a small hand-crossbow quiver at the base of her tail that is of a particularly useful and spacious variety.
>>1843I had assumed he is communing with Football now
>>1844Alright. Give me a few hours to get some work done.
>>1845At your leisure, I've storied it back to 'base' so I'll just be lurking unless inspired
Doesn't Football give Trump the power to heal himself and others?
It does, and himself.
>we started 18 hours ago
Shit im laggin
Give me a min to read whats happened
You new to the game?
OH SHIT I DONT HAVE MY FLAG
Nah its PrinceAnon here, just traveling
Want me to change your flag?
You.. you can do that?
He can. He's a mod.
Sure if you'd be kind enough
Ill be back at about 9
[1d20 = 10]
It looks like I'll have to be a gladiator for quite a while before I can have my happily ever after.
What buffs could I get from making a killer outfit out of that hyrdra/giant skin?
Is there a codebook I can use for those attack patterns?
It's on cinematic mode, so you can do shit now, I guess.
You might want to start by healing your character at the football shrine
*Proceeds to scrape giant skin*
Good idea>slowly crawls to football shite with hydra teeth sticking out of leg
So I guess Trump uses his football powers to heal himself
*Grumbles to self while prepping giant's leather*
"Fucking purple bitch, sticking us all in an endless gladiator tournament..! I'm going to have to reschedule the ceremony..."
*dissects hydra's head for brains*
"I think purple is more of my color.."
Speaking of "salvaging" shit
Is there anything magical thats part of/on the hydra?
I want something to show for this shit
Kek's female form is Snek (Heket, actually). Perhaps materials harvested from the body would be of use for idolic or alchemical purposes.
Use your imagination.
Tracy can you get me some bones, scales, and maybe a bit of blood?
Sorry fam, took a short nap. Reviewing latest
*Glares in annoyance*
"Come and get it yourself, dumb frog-summoner!"
It's all sitting in neat piles. Try googling it to look up magic/symbolic uses of snake body parts.
*Abandons giant's hide and trots off to sharpening room*
"Useless junk. Didn't help the last guy who wore it one bit..."
There's enough bones and scales that you can have some without really affecting the number. I mean as a resource I'll let you know when expended,... but you could probably pull off 3 suits of hydra plate before running out, and you've only got one armor wearer. So yeah, go nuts.
No problem "fam" Am I cool now?
can i join?you goys got a char sheet?
I keep forgetting my name...
You are no longer full of little holes and teeth.>>1870
What kinda character?
Trump successfully heals himself also.
During cinematics, you can just declare "Heals self" and poof, its only during actual combat/ongoing game that I'm gonna be more particular.
Hmmmm. Interesting. Class?
Soo,... Lawful Good?
Honestly we're pretty much winging it at this point
But I have no objections to you joining>>1867>>1868
Ohh I have an idea
Snakes where used by Isis to get Ra's true name
Also cleopatra dies using snakes sticking to the egyptian theme
Do we need to interogate anyone?
Not at the moment. Last living contact was the giants, and that was half a day previous. Good thinking though.
i wanna genocide the zebras
Yeah, quick reiteration: Everything is a resource. ^_~
Lets see>renewal and change
Does this mean I can use them for healing and transformation?>hoards the scales
What a magnificent pali. It is done. So when you say minotaur, you mean "Mlp-world" or no?
As the resedential meme wizard I must do it
ALL HAIL THE GLORIUS DIGITS
DOWM WITH THE ZIGGERS
>>1885>Pony Rogue>Scottish Meme Wizard>A Padalin of Trump>A Minotaur Cleric
What a goddamm team
Do they have a preferred weapon? Other then that (and a name) we can run with this. Let me grab some pasta.
K. Alright, you find yourself in a room. You're not entirely sure how you got there, and its relatively bare. The walls are an opaque glass, with what appears to be a sliding door. There is no furniture except for a chest of the same glassy material, and the bed you find yourself on.
my name is infernius
i go to the sliding door and open it
Wew lad>>1893Spoiler: spoiler
Oh shit son. Wew. Okay. Please note, its a 2-hand weapon only.
>>1897>2-hand weapon only>2-hand
I would have expected that with a name zweihander
At the moment, Thez is in the Mess area tinkering with a weird scepter-lookin thing. Slag is also Mess in the corner, looking like a zombie fist (we started calling him that 'cuz his skin is green and when he gets mad his face scrunches up like a zombie fist,... see like that right there).
Just making sure,.... ^_^
i excpected no less
Stop stealing my digits
In the mean time I look for any books on potions
You immediately find a whole section devoted to potions. Specific interest?
Transformation or healing
There's plenty of information. If you're looking to synthesize healing and/or transformation potions, you may consider yourself having sufficient information. Unfortunately, there's not much in the way of ingredients available, and while the mess hall can synthesize food, it can't recreate the fundamental properties that make components effective. Also, sorry for dubs.
>Thez noms from a big jar of Hydra-jerkey
Alright. As a cleric, you're welcome to use a zweihander, and you can use some armor, but only piecemail (think chainmail with spaulders, greaves, and occasional plates).>not part of the Kreigsmesser master race Xp
>tfw you're the only one here RPing as a mudpony
I didn't realize this would just be three weeks of gladiator style battles. Can GM point me to anything my character could use in this room? Or how I can develop the story of this game?
whats behind the door?
Okay, can I at least have a reciepe for one and/or the other so I can realize how screwd I am?
>>1907>Kreigsmesser>Igonring Glorious Highland Claymore
Why are you even here
>>1908There is a world outside the clearing you know Xp>>1909
The Great Unknown (tm)>>1910
Holy pistol-GET batman!
>>1912>kek confirms Claymore master race with pistol-get
Anyway, whats the recipe?
YOU CANT JUST SAY "sure"
I cannot go: I must fulfill my role as the psychotic stalker.
*trots off to football shrine to find the Trumpadin*
Suddenly Thez springs to her feet.
"Alright! Enough of this lagging around! I say the time has come where we explore this strange world and learn of the cities and the people and the world we find ourselves in and get back my record-contract
! Anyone feeling up for it?>>1913
I'll do you one better. If you're out and about, you can make a simple potion out of simple ingredients, the availability of which can be determined with a die roll (by the way, you might want to "grab some potion making stuff). More complicated potions require the equipment you can find here in the 'library'.
Please note, your character hears none of this. He's still facing the door.
Where is Trumpadin anyway?
I want to talk to him about this "foot-ball"
And its magical propertys
*Ignores Thez and creeps up on Flashy using assasin stealth*>>1917
Idk, but he's gonna get >raped if he doesn't act soon.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN RECORD-CONTRACT?
Sidenote what movie?
So whats Thez doing?
Are we realing going on an adventure to who knows where to do who knows what for who knows who all for who knows why?
The Football shrine's power heals all damage and status ailments, but characters can still take damage within the shrine, correct, even if it's healed instantly?
"Unless you wanna stay holed up here,... me, I wanna know what's changed in the Game and get back my record contract
She's standing on one of the tables, but she's only 4' tall normally, so she stands slightly taller than Trump.
Pretty much. Its essentially a spot where you can <click> You're healed!
Eh, Ill go
Anyone want to join us?
*brandishes giant's bone, looming just behind the praying figure of Flashy, his tacky, golden armor glistening in the light of the football*
Am Inthinking too far into this?
>>1931>Thez is distracted by this and is watching
*kKnocks-out the completely unsuspecting Paladin, just long enough to drag him away from the shrine*
"Praise football." Tracy snickers
Thez calls after: "Here, you might want to drink plenty of water!"
>>1938Where can I get some privacy?
Also confederate anon/Infernius: You're in the room to the right of the one with an X on it (that one was Tracy's room).
>>1939Your room with the smashed foot-locker is marked with an X
*Drags towards personal room, Humming to self*
"We're going to have some fun tonight, ~Flashy."
>*Binds limbs with giant's sinews*
"Good, old-fashioned, all-Equestrian FUN!"
>>1941>>1942*stops* I dont like where this is going
I step outside seeing if there is any supplies at all
"Its times like this I'm glad to be Neutral Evil," Thez giggles and turns back to Torcuil. "Well, you mind waiting a moment for them to,... re-emerge?"
What kinda supplies? If you mean food, you can carry about 2 weeks worth of dry goods, readily available in the Mess. Bedrolls and the like are also available.
Nah, I meant like wood, corpses, magical runes predicting your moms damnation. you know, the norm>>1944
Eh fine you bastard
Assume this is all entirely premeditated and that I already brought all the crap I'm about to use.
(Still humming)"~Hmmhmm..!">*tosses on bed*>*Begins undressing. Keen-edged knives slicing through retarded gold armor like cheese*>*whispers into ear* "It's about time I reminded you of that fateful night you promised to marry me, ~Flaaashy!">>1945I want kinky equipment and drugs. If it's available, I would've already found it.
alright m8, can i perception to listen for any sounds?also ima newfag how do i roll?
Okay first of all, you are welcome to slice through the straps and binding of his armor, but no the keen edge does not just go through armor. Secondly, there's not much to having 'kinky' when you've got leather straps and buckles (there's plenty, 4 giants and their clothes got resourced), and 3 there ARE drugs, but you haven't found any sign at this point
In the email feild>>1947no please, you dont know what youre doing here
[2d8 = 10]>>1948
Enter in the e-mail field:
Dice (# of)d(sides)
Sample roll is "dice 2d8"
[2d8 = 5]
But yes, any sort of listen or skill check is a d20
Also, if you do a dice roll, it will remain in your e-mail field
I go outside, sick of dealing with these idiots
Is there anything out there?>>1954STOP
The three brown circles are now piles of dead things, ignore the lines, but the clearing is relatively,... clear. In the distance, on all sides is a towering wall. The wall is segmented in the north, suggesting a gate or archway, but its obscured by trees.
Also ignore the lines, thats from last time
Spoiler lewds Xp>>1956
Nope. Even though next door (unbeknownst to you) someone is about to get raped, you hear nothing.
Wrong clearing image,....
[1d20 = 11]>>1959
ok i pose menacingly then
shitty oc related
In all these years, *rummages through sack* I've run into quite the multitude of drugs. Ezekiel taught me a few things about Zebra alchemy...
*Produces hydra fang, still attached to venom gland*
"Ezekial used to pay through the nose to get his hands on these. The venom is similar to those of the Nephila variety: in it's normal dose, it would stop your heart instantly, but when diluted a bit..."
*Squeezes into one of Thez's water bottles*
".. It would do exactly the same thing.. after a couple of hours, if you're not given the antidote"
*produces used syringe from knife-cozy*
"In the mean time, it should ensure that your little stallion down here is at his best tonight.."
>*pats bulge in Brads lioncloth*
>>1961>is not shitty, and you get bonuses for oekaki/memes
So you're opening the door?
[1d20 = 10]>>1963
yes i am
[2d6 = 12]>>1964
You explode. Or rather, some sort of spell that was cast on the door is set off, causing an explosion.
Everyone else, you hear an explosion.
Faint laughter can be heard
Except Tracy and Trump, but Tracy feels a decent size vibration.
i get up and rush out into the hall ready to fuck up whoever (i think) blasted me
You're in a long hallway, with a row of doors on one side, including the one you just came from. On the other side of the hall at either end is a door that is also open. In the middle of the hallway is an old and charred sign that says "Please do not firetrap the rooms". You don't see anyone.
i kick open the door to my left
[2d6 = 7]>>1970
You explode again. You now have some healthy charring on your fur. More laughter can be heard from far off.
And for those like me
who are anal retentive about having BGM, I've got a rabbit set up.https://www.rabb.it/ninjas
i yell "who the fuck keeps doing that!!"
Black veins slowly creep across Trumpadin's body from the point at his junk where he was injected. His whole body begins to shiver in a paralytic spazm and he breaks out into sweat, but he remains silent. His tiny, incompetent chink-boner springs to life, twitching at the potent venom's affect.
"There, there... Flashy~kun" She whispers in an eerily-uncharacteristically gentle voice. "It'll all come back soon enough..."
A masked face peeks its head in from down the hall.
"Damn, look at the size of you." the masked figure says. "I wouldn't recommend opening any of the other doors."
YOU BLAST ME!?
The figure steps fully into the hallway, standing at 4'2", wearing an assortment of tattered skins covering their body. The hair is a bright pink, pointy ears, and dark purple skin. In their left hand is a blackened old broom.
who are you and where am i?
I'm still researching to get this shit right. I hope it's slightly entertaining.
Remember: everything that happens to Waifu Thief in this game is official board canon, via popular opinion of userbase.
"No, but you have to admit it was kinda funny,...." shrugs.
"Don't worry, unless you see a 2' tall guy with golden hair running around, that won't happen again. I'm Thez <extends a shiny-black, clawed hand>.
my name is infernus ,i am the mighty cleric of the rage god Adolf Hitler *accepts handshake^
>>1983I better not get into trouble for this>>1982
Where, that's a good question. Welcome to the world of the Game. This world was designed by entities and beings well beyond our comprehension, because they were bored. Throughout your life (you died by the way) you made an impression on one or more impressionable entities, and so upon your demise they decided "No, I like that dude, I wanna see more of him". So you find yourself here, like the rest of us. The building you find yourself in is inhabited by several others, with their own origins and proclivities. Let me show you around for a bit.>removes mask
Goddamn power fluctuations...!
K, so starting from the lower right of that 1F image, moving counter clockwise:
"This facility has been here for an unknown amount of time, but has been essentially provided for our use. Innumerable parties have come and gone through the Game, and now it's "our" turn (approaching northern corner/steps).
Up the stairs to the immediate right the library/magefag area, to the left is the mess hall/workshop and the shrine to Football (ur new so u won't get that meme yet) and at the top of the stairs is a dais for super cereal magicks.
where can i fight dirty stripefags?
>>1983This feels almost a bit too one-sided Almost. I guess I'll just do my best to narrate this, unless objections?
>tfw you'redoing this at midnight after overdosing on autism meds, and your half-braindead with no autism to draw inspiration from.
"Stripefags? I don't understand. Please note, this world exists on a crossing point of many dimensions. I may know what you mean, but not know it by unfamiliarity with the words you use."
You could,... or we could kill things and THEN you could get all rapey,...
you know the horse that arent horses but with stripes. theyre trying to replace the earth ponies
>MFW Thez ISN'T the first rapist in the game
"Striped,... horses,... zebras?"
Oh I'm sure there are plenty. Its been a while since the Game last reset (it does that every so often, inexplicably), but last I recall there was a heavy infiltration from the nation of Obongo. Don't quote me on that, I haven't even been outside the wall on this 'go'.
i dont know what you are saying but, you need to take me to the stripefags.
>>1998>almost threw me off
Well in that case, come on there's a guy outside who's fixin' to kill things
>>1992I've already got him tied-up and poisoned to the point where he can't even crawl back to the Elway shrine.. I need to stay in conjunction with my characters goal anyway: It's gotta be >rape. He's unconscious until he shows, so there's no point in torture porn at this point; I guess I'll just hump him with intent to 1488, until he wakes up.
I was kind of hoping he'd be back here to witness it by now...
ah a fellow warrior taur take me to him
[1d20 = 20]>>2003>>2004
I don't know about 'warrior', but he's a proper bastard.>walking outside to where Torcuil is.
As you approach, you see a long-bearded scotsman in a billowing robe (think of a full-body kilt) glancing around for some inspiration.
You might be pregnant. Happy now? ^_^
ah hello you magnificent bastard
it is i INFERNUIS
Gawd, this is going to end up as a stand-alone greentext isn't it
WAIFU-THIEF COME OUT SO I CAN >RAPE YOU PROPERLY, YOU COWERING SNAKE!!!
I haven't finished drawing their OC offspring, but that was supposed to be the end-game.
>>2011Well, for kicks I rolled on it, and got a 20/28. I'm leaving it at "Might be", in the sense that a woman "might" know if she has been inseminated.Was hoping that Tracy would be the first player rape victim
>>2012Tracy's already been raped 6 gorillion times. I was going to make it a sort of miracle that she'd become fertile again.>*spashes water on face*
"Time to wake up, Flashy!"
Question,... from where does she get this water?
[1d20 = 14]>>2008
Okay, so Torcuil is afb (away from board) atm. Last I checked him he was raring to go, so how about we leave it at an 'unspecified friendly contact' for the time being.
Didn't Thez hand me that water earlier?>*smacks unconscious face in frustration, while humping boner*
alright i ask Thez to take me to the library
Yes she did. And you can be certain then that Trump will be erect for the entirety of his slumber (till he logs in). Also, he will remember nothing.
What happened while I was away
The fuck did I just read?
Since we're doing this on an imageboard, its kinda anything-goes, so it doesn't always mesh just right, but its still lots of fun desu.>leads back to Library, see 2F image
[1d20 = 8]>>2021
i look for a copy of mein kampf
>>2020>>2019This is what happens when you skip-out on game night.
"Oh, look who decided to wake up!"
You can't quite remember
How was your movie? (sweetest of smiles)
With an 8, I'm tempted to be a dick, but since its MK, you find it on a pedestal between two shelves, a light placed above it for ambience and reverence.
>>2025It was great!
Trump instinctively punches Tracy in the faceI will delete or edit all of this I have to I swear
[1d20 = 3]>>2026
i ask for adolfs blessing to kill all the stripefags. and then i turn to a random page to see if adolf is giving me a sign.
Its headcanon now Xp
"Now, Flashy, used one of Ezekiel's tricks to 'help' you out a bit while you were passed out. Don't worry: it's not permanent. We'll have a couple hours of personal time before things get serious, so until then.>*straddles crotch and wraps hooves around your chest*
"Love me!">>2027>Implying you can do shit while tied up and paralyzed
>>2027Let me think of a way to roll with this. You're currently tied to a bed with your nethers exposed
Okay, here's what I've come up with. The first drug mixed with the second drug in his system, negating some aspects but leaving others in operation. The result is that he's now conscious, with an uncomfortable boner, with no memory of what happened in the last hour or so. Good?
Didn't want this to be how Tracy learned not to drink anything Thez offers
"Here. We. GO!"
*inserts*>>2033I demand that he still be doomed if he doesn't acquire the antidote though.
>>2035Pali's are immune to lasting/life-threatening poison, be happy this worked at all>>2037Shamefully, I haven't read MK yet so I can't quote
You get a sign that you should kill ziggers.
[1d20 = 6]
*Grumbles at having scenario foiled*
I should've >raped him when I had the chance...
roll to wear down Flashy's stamina.
>>2039Pssst, u did rape
Trump successfully loosens some of his bonds through sheer force. He's now loosely tied to the bed, and able to move around a bit.
[1d20 = 7]>>2038
i walk back to the room i woke up in because i forgot my sword there perception as im in the hallway to hear anything
>>2042>left his sword on the floor
I had no idea, I thought you had it with you
[1d20 = 11]>>2043
im gonna chalk it up to being exploded 2 times
[1d20 = 7]
"Ah, you're quite the trooper. That's the man I married."
*grasps chest firmly*
Roll to finish him off.
Its all good. We still haven't ventured into the danger zone, so its all bants atm.
Like what the fuck. I leave for three hours in "cinematic mode"
When you say 'finish off', are you being redundant? Its getting to the point where I want to put gloves on, but the deed is done. O_o
Trump is standing exactly where his character left off in the woods returning to the clearing, now healed of his bruises from the fight with the giants
>Inb4 this thread leads to a Trump/Tracy OC
This is NOT what I intended, but I didn't exactly stop it either,....
>>2050>didn't read the box>>2047
You didn't show up, and I was bored. It's 1:30 am where I am now.
So? How do you respond to this predicament?
Yes, that is correct. And nothing else *at all* happened.
>>2053He doesn't remember
>>2053I don't even have time to read all of this. I've been driving
to the danger zone!
>>2057>following his lead
"This guy's got the right idea! Who cares who MAY have raped who, or what MAY have happened,... there's a whole world of shenanigens to get lost in!>Thez beams
>>2055So...? Is that whole play a no-go? Or did he just return to the starting point?
Seriously, what is the status quo? I see there is a new character and... What's going on?
>realizes that no one else has realized the Minotaur.
"Oh, right, this is Infernius. He blew up while you all were busy. He wants to kill ziggers."
She seems happy at the thought of murder and mayhem, as though anyone didn't know already.
Wut? There's a new character - a Minotaur Cleric - and Tracy has been entertaining herself while you have been idle. Nothing that has occurred will be consequential or damaging, but IS headcanon now, and will be depicted at some pointGratz, you've helped inspire a Tracy/Trump OC.
>Thez looks at Infernius
Ya know, you're right. Lets go kill some shit. I was thinking of doing other stuff muh record contract but really, I just want to spill some blood.
It'll be bad blood, I promise.
>>2065>Implying it was TracyxTrump
This was TracyxYOU.
What have I gotten myself into?>>2066>Thez sizes him up
You'd have to bind me first, but yeah, lets kill some shit.>>2068
R U guys ready to kill shit, or do you want to enable him to wrangle his way out of this? The longer we dawdle, the more time he has to try and come up with a counter,....
>Friendly reminder, I'm on NO ONE'S side
I will go with the flow. If targets come I will kill them.
*prowls in the shadows, eyeing Flashy's back*
Trump, having never been attacked by Tracy, stands in full armor and full health with his sword at the ready
She presents a good point. She just got belted across the face. Of course, she had him tied to a bed but,....
>>2074Are we still in the rape-room? If so, he might have to go mend his armor...
Well technically yes, but its far less story-cumbersome if his armor was slipped off him rather than being cut. He was unconscious,....
Never left the wooded area
Dubs confirm, Trump was uh
standing outside the whole time. By Torcuil even, yes they were standing there the whole time>sweat
Nothing untoward happened here. Lets kill some ziggers!>nervous laugh
>>2075Shane on you! And I was beginning to trust Tracy, abs was thinking if letting her closer. Way to violate that trust
>>2079Pssst, NEVER trust other players[/s}
>>2078Where are the Zebras, why are we killing them, and are they armed?
i trust all my party member surely i want be raped
Okay, so for the situation as it stands (kinda modded cuz there was discontinuity) lets assume that Trump stormed his way outside while Thez, Infernius, and Torcuil were standing out there.
Where is unknown, but you can tell by this new fellow that there is cause to be avoidant of and as permitted murderous of, ziggers.
>>2073>being this Awesome
Go ahead; re-write history: it will unrape you.
1. Was I knocked out by Tracy or not
2. Do I have my armor
3. Do I have my sword
4/ are there enemies nearby?
We won't speak for the moment of what may or may not have transpired WRT Tracy/Trump. Ever,... unless it comes up again Xp.
Seriously though, unless players are intent on raping eachother (which, I admit, is not prohibited), there is not much story to develop on that avenue (anymore lol)>>2085
Consider it a compartmentalization that has not become consequent yet.>>2086
1. No, of course not, that would be untenable and improper, I'm offended that you would suggest otherwise. What manner of bread do you think this is, something degenerate?
(so can i get a quick rundown on your character)
Trumpaladin, a Paladin and lawful good, former member of the imperial guard I'm guessing of Equestria?
and served in multiple capacities. Loves his nation and loves killing things. I think I'm a large human also
>>2091>instinctively putting this at an introductory phase
Trump extends his hand in stoic and measured openness to this Bullish (literally) monstrosity that only actually stands about 1/2 a foot taller.
"Pleased to meet you Mr... Mr. Inferius.">wants to say "I've worked with many diverse and colorful characters including Mintotaurs, but doesn't want to sound awkward and kind of racist by bringing it up
i am infernuis, ceric of adolf hitler the god of rage and truth. i seek to save eqrestria from the zigger menace trying to replace them
>>2095>Tracy recognizes mention of Equestria
"I would ask you what brings you out here, but I guess we're both sort of in the same situation"
i like your trump but he dosent compare to my adolf
"I see. I too am a servant of my nation. Or I was, anyways. Perhaps I can help you on your quest."
Thez suddenly remembers something about Trump being literall Hitler, but thats a far-off and unassociated memory.
>>2098>refrains from saying anything on the subject
i would love allies on my crusade
Tell me, do you have any idea on how to get out of here?
*eyes Thez worriedly*
no, i tried to go into some rooms and exploded.
>>2103>whooofs upside down in a legs-crossed sitting position
We (and I'm including me) haven't explored beyond the north gate!
the north gate seems the best place to start
i walk towards the main gate
I'm guessing you must be new here. I have met with Football... Not just a representation of Football, but the one, true Football, and He told me that we are already dead; we have been selected because of our merits and also that blue one over there. This snake lady thing said something similar - that we are already dead, that there is no going back, and that we are to fight endlessly and pointlessly for the amusement of bored minor deities...>>2107
But if there is a way back to save our countries... well, we may as well try the main gate. Onwards!
*walks towards the main gate*
So (unless I hear any objections) the overwhelming party consisting of:
Torcuil - Currently absent, but a stout Scotsman and developming Meme Magician (lit, he has to meme to cast spells).
Trump - Totally not raped in any way, Trump is resplendent in his shiny armor, with his fine Bastard sword and ample tower shield.
Tracy - Totally not a psychopath in any way. Has a bandolier of knives tho, and looks at you weirdly.
Infernius - The new guy. He's not a monster, he's a minotaur. He carries a Zwiehand(Exceptionally-Great-Sword) with augmenting (and useful!) knee and shoulder-plates.
Thez - Archetype, Tulpa, She's here to make sure anyone who is pudding gets to still play; Sadistic rage-monk.
dead,alive it dont really matter all thats matter is we kill those ziggers.
"Cuz if you die, I can just whack you with a stick!" she menacingly adds.
*Trump ponders his memory of an Episode of Star Trek, "The Gamesters of Triskelion"*>>2113
*Looks at Inferius funny*
"First, do we have all of the supplies we need to venture far?"
Yes, ample dry rations have been available such that you would naturally have taken advantage and would have them in possession
*looks towards supply stores*
the fhurer will provide
looks about right.
"I recommend the Hydra jerkey!"
Thez enthusiastically offers.
Sshh! I'm in assassin stealth!
... I think....
*whispers* nice swords
Okay, I have to ask your opinion as players at this point.
Traditionally I would present you with an obstacle, in this case a large, reinforced, iron gate. I would do so to give certain players the opportunity to gain experience for ingenuity or creativity. I would also use this opportunity to drag the game out some, cuz rhythm.
This is not a traditional rendering of the game. Can I instead suggest that there may have been some arguing over methods, some bants and insults, and some general tomfoolery before ultimately the gate 'got broken from increased attention' and the party carried on?
sure thats fine with me
>>2124It's 3:00 AM, and I'm tired as fuck.. That souds good, but I'm not sure if I have any energy left for dialog...
I appreciate your willingness to compromise. Its not always like this, but its not always like 'anything' at this point. I welcome your participation.>>2127
U with your,... oh sleep! Xp>>2115
Its not (You) who is getting raped/exploited (come on, Paladins are comic relief, combat aside), its Trumpaladin, and he is no more real than a pony. Xp
Concluding Tracy as being passed out (lit or fig) I see nothing barring a continuation of the story.
so what happens next gm
>As Tracy begins to waver, Thez intercepts her descent, laying her in a pile of not-filth nearby
I'm not being left out!
*continues some distance behind group*
We venture north through the (fuck that shit) broken gate.
i stop and take a piss
[1d20 = 20]>>2134
Wasn't leaving out, just making so character can go afk if needed
Fuck it then. My brain's shutting down, and I have shit to do tomorrow....Trumpadin, show-up on time next week, so you don't get >raped.
I do want the story to continue, and I'm fully prepared to go to lengths to depict it. Having said, I also recognize that anons are/may-be on different timezones and positions. Tracy is falling out, but characters can still play on. I'll admit a bias toward Tracy 'cuz Thez wants to rape her, but we can work well past that.
And... I've been dropped from classes because I did not pay tuition on time. I've been busy with job applications and a new internship and they couldn't be fucked to send me an email warning me of the deadline. Whatever, I'll deal with this on Monday
alright i continue on
Fuck. It sucks when that happens.
Rather, are you stable enough to hold out for a few weeks at minimum?
WHY Kek? Why doth thou graceth thyne bread with wanton dubs and trips?! Is it thy will that those who doth venture into parts unknown of the imagination be blessed and checked?
Yeah, I should be able to hold out. The job search is putting me into depression and a litany of side issues are not helping.Never go to law school. I do not care how well you did on the LSAT or how ranked an institution you were accepted into
>>2147>almost went to law school>ended up in industry
I can argue any-which way.
BTW, some mod needs to make it so Game Night doesn't rape the mainboard.
Sorry Infernius/Confed-anon, it doesn't look like there are enough players to sustain the Game. Generally the Game runs on Saturdays, with storyline, bants, and inter-character development at leisure through the week. Next Sat, we'll pick up where we left off (on the verge of killin'! ssshhhh, u don't know that yet), but since we're (the group) not in a threat-situation, u can interact as you like per the maps. I can't reupload cuz they're in thread.
If you mean the prominence of the thread on the homepage, perhaps the feature causing posts from the board to appear on the home page could be made configurable, such that /vx/ could be easily listed or delisted as needed with Admin edit, or perhaps threads with special tripcodes would not have replies to them appear on the homepage (sounds unnecessarily complicated to me, but there's a Dev I'll bet would love to write this).
If you mean the fact that the main board sort of dies, I think that's just what happens when 4 active posters are distracted from the main board.
Not dies, but is drowned certainly. The nature of the Game guarantees rapid posting.
So... Like what do you want changed?
Well, I come out of a gaming-coma and when I look at the homepage its all /vx/-gaming. I'm not adverse, but I imagine this inhibits browsing and perusing, so I would suggest something that prevents game thread from being obtrusive? IDK.
What I meant:
The gaming thread hogs the homepage. I would hate for a random new-mlpol to get drowned in gaming shit by happenstance. Thank you for the degrees of slack that the gaming thread has enjoyed, but look out for the newb,... we may rape them in time.
I fucking past out again last night, sorry about that guys
Dont drive three hours then RPG
You missed the party...
Don't worry, we didn't really kill anything last night.
Yeah, no worries. It took most of the session to get everyone ready to venture out anyway, not that that is a bad thing since we got another player out of it!
Okay, glad to hear I didnt miss anything
So, ill be free tonight if anyone wants to play though
Oh! I totally forgot to mention! We've gamed like this for the past three weekends, usually starting in the afternoon/evening on Saturdays, and I'll spend the week (off and on) filling in details that might have been overlooked, unspoken, or too cumbersome to require players to "ask the right questions".
Well, there is ONE thing you missed, but I'm pretty sure that some players want to pretend it didn't happen,.... Xp
Pretty sure you meant to say "I'm pretty sure it didn't happen
Yes of course, how careless of me to misspeak in such a manner that suggests otherwise,... cuz we can be certain that nothing happened and all. ^_^
Yea if you guys want to play today im down.
>like I'm not gonna be around
I'm not opposed,....
Nah its alright then
Oh the rape shit?
Eh I expected it from tracy starting at day 1
R... rape? Whatever are you talking about? Nothing of the sort ever happened, it must be your imagination. ^_^
>>2115>Gamesters of Triskelion
Actually, thats a very apt comparison, though in this case the audience is "whatever" is the causal agent(s) behind meme magic. Desu, that's a number that is legion.
So to reiterate, we can do a little gaming tonight (after Tea I'm thinking) if players would like, otherwise Thez is going to banter more about the game/etc as the party makes its way north. Feel free to throw out questions or w/e as inspired.
It's really an interesting question. In Gamesters of Triskelion, they are to fight for the pleasure of the pretend-gods, basically as gladiators. However, many Christians will openly say everything "is for the pleasure of God." Yet the two are looked at very differently. I think it's because in the Christian context, the service is to a loved and respected authority figure. There is a reciprocated love of the served deity, so that the service is in part out of love. The served deity is also highly respected and admired, and his approval is very highly valued. It's the same as making your father or your hero proud, except more so. In the Gamesters of Triskelion, it's basically slavery and suffering for the sake of simple amusement to beings who are not admired or admirable, and who are not loved nor do they give any love in return for the service.
This matters because of how it plays into Trumpaladin's motivations. He is a former soldier and law enforcement officer. He is motivated to serve a purpose higher than himself. He is no one's gladiator, though he is a happy and willing crusader. That's why he interprets the words of John Elway and Thez, though they say almost the same thing, very differently. The former is inspirational, the latter causes a crisis of faith
Refresh me memory
Is Gamesters of Triskelion the one with the Bamboo cannon?
Lurking and ready to >play
at a moment's notice.
I havent seen that episode yet
Is GM here?
I wanna party
The Bamboo Canon Episode is "Arena," which is not the episode discussed here, although is very similar in that a set of god-like entities are trying to make two species fight for them, so it's a relevant comparison.
Gamesters of Triskelion is an episode where Kirk and a few of the crew are taken from the transporter bay and end up in a gladitorial arena where they are excepted to fight with other beings who are kept captive there. The voices heard operating the arena are very pushy and demand they fight for their amusement, calling them "thralls" and keeping them in line with sort of Shock-collars. Kirk quite naturally charms or romances a female captive, and they eventually manage an escape and attack the computers that are holding them.
I'm here, and I see Torcuil, Tracy, and Trump are also here. Infernius, are you in das haus?
THE PARTY ARRIVED>>2230
I really havent hotten past season 1 yet
We have another player. Infernius, the Minotaur Cleric blew up yesterday (twice) and has joined in on shenanigens.
What was the second time?
He opened the door next to him too. ^_^
I'm pretty sure he's the OP of the COYA thread, but that's been idle for 2 hours now so idk if he's on.
Read the thread. He had a few shitty rolls.
Firetrap doesn't do all that much damage anyhow. The practice began because previous players had a nasty habit of sneaking into one another's room, so one player started putting a firetrap on his, not so much to deter thieves, but as a motion-detection; it can only be disarmed magically.
Over time, other players contracted the initial to put firetraps on their rooms as well, as the absence of an explosion upon returning meant that someone had been in their room. Eventually, said character made a practice of firetrapping all the rooms, particularly when players were inside for lulz. This is when the sign was posted, which only egged him on further.
>>2238>Trumpaladin is irritated at the thought of being only a player, He thought he would be doing more with his death than this. Actually, what was he expecting out of being dead? Trump doesn't really know what he expected. I guess just not to be dead?
But he's not dead, its that he has died. Besides, in order to understand all that, you have to figure out the riddle of the player who is controlling the player, who then controls Trump. ^_~
I demand info dump. Put in Thez's prattling lines
also info on Torciul
the entire body kilt was a fairly accurate represntation GM
now give it a hood and make it this color
"See, the thing is that while we are here, wandering through the (now into the) forest, there are faggots sitting in front of devices kinda like the sphere in the pyramid, essentially controlling our every move.
In the same sense, those faggots are characters being controlled by players beyond THEIR comprehension.">>2243>pouf
Its my favorite tarten out of my three family clans>>2245
"Wow... So original..."
[1d20 = 16]
"The actions we are naturally and inevitably inclined to make are actually determined by individuals shall we say, who exercise control over us in the context that is presented. For example:
>Thez kicks Infernius in the junk
Note that he doesn't respond. This is because his faggot is not currently interfaced. In the same sense, there is a faggot behind the faggot who interfaces with our faggot and makes our faggot make us do things.
>Pouf is 'poof' au francais
In the case of Infernius' faggot, his faggot's faggot hasn't caused him to be present, so I don't get the satisfaction of having junk-punted him."
>>2248>au francais>tfw je parle dans francais
Nothing like trying to learn
I only know that 'cuz Warner Bros. Mis francais le non bien
*Je parle un peu de francais
Like I said, learning>>2251
I dont know what that means
"Anyway, I know it's all weird and complicated, so please don't let your head explode over it," she concludes.
>>2252>My french the no good
Mon le francias est pas bien
*Steps forward curiously*
"So... Does this mean that any one of us won't be able to move, unless the faggots in whereeverthefuck controlling this place are paying attention? Couldn't that suddenly make any one of us very.. vulnerable, to attack?"
Also note, there's a Gantz-esque element to the game, in addition to 'entity involvement'. There is some utility to the Game that is currently unknown to characters, even Thez.
Is that thez?
No, I meant it how I said it. We get alot of french-canadians where I'm at, and I want to make it clear I have no fucking clue what they just said, so don't even try. ^_^>>2256
"Technically yes, though my faggot can kinda sorta nudge characters in a direction that would make sense for their personality, to the degree that such personality is known. Take you for example, my faggot knows that you would be planning in your faggot's absence, and would assume you are doing such things in such cases." ^_~>A rubber chicken appears in the air for a moment and then disappears
"Technically, anything is possible."
Oh *joke flys over head*>>2259
Would shag the burd again
By the way, may I suggest that you so inquired from cover? You rolled a 20 on your hide check and I'd hate to waste it.
Just wear leather if you want stealth
You're trolling right? Plz tell me that was a pun.
You should wear leather armor if you want stealthCause its made of Hide
"By the way, I'm surprised you guys didn't make anything while we were back at 'base'. I'd have thought you might wanna beef ur stuff, rather than just hoarding some of it," Thez says while staring up into the trees.
Oh yeah, the trees. The area you're passing through is very obviously overgrown with no human interaction for an indeterminably long time. Birds flitter through the trees and deer can be seen running and foraging in the distance. It is as though this place has been forgotten.
Can I equip that Hydra leather? I don't mind Tracy's lack of ability to craft decent clothing: it just has to look trashy.
>>2267>trump remembers with irritance his efforts at making a war axe and bow, interrupted by zombies
>>2267>back at base
Wait, WHERE ARE WE?
So, a poncho kinda?
Poncho, hood, and the trashiest leggings you can imagine.
So the homeless look?
But is the g8 b8 m8?
I was thinking more goth-ish, but sure.
W8 m8, I h8 2,... spoil
All good, though note that hydra-hide doesn't improve armor class, though it does give a 5-point damage reduction (for that degree of layering)
888 8 888 8 88 88888 888?
As long as it looks awful, that's fine.
"Except you of course, I like the look," Thez comments sidelong as the gate begins to be apparent in the distance.
My apologies, I had overlooked that. That is something he would have been doing while he was definitely not getting raped. If you'd like, you can have a bow, though a war axe would take more time to fabricate.
I walk towards the gate too
Also be bacm in a min
Does anyone want BGM, or are you all good?
Nah, let's just get this shit started. I got work tomorrow.
The party approaches an enormous archway made out of stone, at the center of which is a thick, heavy, iron door long rusted over.
Huzzah, I'll take a bow. Let's go with English Longbow, since it's quality, but would take less time to fabricate than the technically superior Asiatic composite bow. also it makes a good melee weapon to smack little ponies with, when they are out of line
I hit the door with my staff
>>2290careful, they might like it
The archway shades the area, so it is pretty bare soil around the gate. The door that is exposed is about 20' tall, though the remainder that lies under the dirt can't be determined. There doesn't appear to be a mechanism to operate it (buried?).
The door feels solid to the strike.
[1d20 = 9]>>2293
I roll to FIREBALL
[1d20 = 1]
[inspect stones around the edge of the door]>>2295>not referencing your mixtape
Is this what you meant?
Eh my mixtape is shit
But I mean ya know whatcha gonna do
Trump checks to make sure that there is in fact an unscalable wall around the enclosure, to be sure he can't just walk around the gate
Oui, sorry I wont have memes for awhile cause mobile posting
Nah, this wall is like, easily 100' up.
[1d20 = 5]
[Inspect crease of door/knob for clues]
>>2302>then how did the Giants and the hydra get in
Very well. Fireball explodes in a burst, with no apparent effects.
Thez crosses her arms and thinks for a moment.
[1d20 = 11]
[Looks up at the top of the door]
Roll for detection.
Unknown at this point, you would have to inspect the outside of the wall.
You notice a small birds nest occupied by an even smaller bird.
Guess I cracked
(⌐■_■)Under the heat
Thez starts walking around, grabbing sections of wall and tapping at others.
"Well, I could climb it, but I have no idea how to get you guys past. Let me see,..." she begins digging in her crossbow quiver.
>>2309>Gains 2 points of temporary charisma
"What? Did you all expect an original idea?"
>>2313>The surface of the door frosts over, before glistening with ice
Anyone bring an ice pick?
Ohhh TRUMP HIT IT WITH SOMETHING
"Whoa, now you're onto something! If we hit it right, we may be able to shatter it," looks around for something to hit it with.
>Friendly reminder, Tea is in 30 minutes
[1d20 = 17]
Trump considers hitting it with his sword, but realizes that would damage his sword, and the same with his bow, while the shield can't focus the impact well enough.
Check for a rock?
[1d20 = 8]>>2321
"Ponies are soft!"
[1d20 = 15]>>2321
Obviously I thought about using Tracy, but she's just too soft for it
Fuck it. Trump picks up Tracy and beats the door with her
But this one has a think skull
5/7 for getting my refernce>>2324
THE MADMAN ACTUALLT DID IT
"Aha! Coming right up!" Thez grips her broom and twists the handle. Jerking the handle apart, she reveals two curved blades of a damascus pattern, in the shape of a particular japanese sword that's name escapes me for the moment.
She walks toward the outer section of the wall and buries both blades into the stone. With an exerted twist, she spins the blades inside the stone, until a conical chunk of stone about the size of a medicine ball pops out.
R u serious? I mean, in order to do that you would need to land an attack roll (which you have), land an additional grapple check, and then land another attack roll. So, 2 more 20's
This is Tracy we're talking about here. She's not going to resist being grabbed bodily, so it's really like just picking up a rock, except the rock gets sexually aroused
>>2328>rock gets sexually aroused
*hooves forward in battering-ram position*
That hurts, and doesn't seem effective.
[6d6 = 20]
[1d20 = 11]
Thez picks up the rock and tosses it to Infernius.
"You, the barbecue sauce mascot, make yourself useful."
Infernius, who was standing there with drool coming out of his mouth, suddenly comes to awareness as though having been asleep. He looks curiously at the rock, then the gate, comprehends the situation and then heaves the rock at the frozen gate.
[2d4 = 6]
Cracks appear on the surface of the door, but it remains. Infernius stands there for a moment, wondering what to do until Thez kicks him in the ass toward the rock. He gets it, and proceeds to pund the door another that many times until it crumbles apart, causing the entire arch to collapse, crushing everyone.
I'm just kidding, the gate is clear.
But if Tracy's front hooves are used to batter the door, rather than say the rear, the hand Trump would have to have the firmest grip with is the one that transfers force into the pelvic bone. And that's an awkward grip
Awkward grip averted
The other side of the gate is like this one, a clear section leading up to massive overgrowth, however beyond that can be seen gradually descending hills overlooking a valley, including several rivers of varying size leading to a large (though not as large as the ones you just passed) walled city.
And I gtg fml
See ya guys later
"Huh, this whole scene is different. Last time we were at the base of two mountains, this time it looks like we're on one," Thez comments as the party clears the archway.
"I really don't know what to expect," she says, re-sheathing her blades. "In any case, at least there are actual people we can talk to now." As she says this, she puts her mask back on and twitches it by the chin. Her appearance shifts, and she reverts back to the form of Urri, the cowardly hippy who first greeted the party upon their entrance.
"Oh, so it was you the whole time..." Tracy grumbles.. still shaking on her hooves from the force of the impact.
"Maud made it look so easy..."
"Well, Urri was an old friend of mine, he's the one who made this metal," she says, tapping the handle of her broom with her claw which 'tink tinks'. "If I walk around looking like I normally do I either get doors shut in my face, or someone decides they want to die tries to have their way with
. This allows me to stay below the radar."
Thez wipes her hands in a satisfaction.
"You're welcome," she smiled to Tracy.
Are we going to play again?
Nothing too involved, but I could go a bit
>mfw girlfriend is 3/4 thru season one of MLP and is watching in the background
I'm getting pretty tired though..
We can wait, I don't even know if anyone else is still around
I'm going to turn in then. Gotta contribute to society in meatspace tomorrow...
Hmmm. Torcuil, are you around?
Ah, probably better this way, I have to crash in the next half hour. Besides, we're over the bump limit. Xp
I'll bake anew tomorrow.
What's the sauce for that purple face? I might make memes, if I can find the time and I'm not too lazy.
Uhm,... er I,... uh, I'm n, not sure!
Wherever it is, its definitely not some degenerate hentai!hold on, I'll find it
Odd, my id changed. If I'd had that for the thread I'd have made some spurdo jokes.
>>2403 Inma Tensei Hayato
... just know that I am only using the likeness (and a smidge of the personality), the physiology is totally different. Xp
Close enough. I can only make half-asses photoshoops anyway.>>2406
Not specific enough. I need pics of the/a purple demon.
Uhhh,... there's a spoiler on the right,....