By the way, had I remembered that there was a hydra in MLP, I'd have used imagery much sooner. Crap, wrong image. There. So that, except with 7 heads, and most of them have a grip on Torcuil's 'not suited for wrestling with hydras' forearms. He's a bit of a bleeder it looks like.
For those not in the know, this is the continuation of a hybrid Dungeons and Dragons campaign which has been modified to suit anonymous image-boards. New players are always welcome, please just announce your interest in playing and we'll figure it out as we go. Lurkers are welcome, please don't be disruptive. ^_^
As motion resumes for our players,... motion does not resume for our players. What does happen is that the Hydra resumes snapping and tearing at Torcuil, but he almost immediately falls backward as though he's no longer moving,... because curiously he finds himself unable to move. Tracy also finds herself stuck in that pose of ecstacy , unable to break free of some form of magic that appears to suddenly be operating. Only Trump and Thez seem unaffected by this sudden change,... oh and the Hydra too.
As Torcuil falls over sideways, the Hydra looks around for impending threats, before turning for a moment to look behind it. You can't see what its looking at, but for a moment it flinches. Its seven heads scream and it begins to charge away from the group, before with a sudden jerk collapses, dead. As the dust settles, a <cli-cli-click, cli-cli-click> can be heard slowly making its way toward the now settled battlefield. An enormously tall and weirdly slender figure begins to appear through the dust, it stands approximately 20' tall. It can't be made out, but the top appears bulbous and awkward while the rest is slender and insectile. >>1806 I'd put you at 55%. You're not going to incur any penalties except movement, until healed that is.
As the figure steps more fully into view, you can see that the figure is actually two. Walking around at about 12' tall is a slender and wickedly barbed, evil corrupted, praying mantis on steroids lookin' thing, robotically prodding its way along. At the end of several of its legs are wickedly jagged claws and it has a sinister air about it. On its shoulders stands an orc.
Thez breaks into hysterical laughter "You STILL have that thing! That's too good! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" The orc is not amused. He stands at about 6'5", and is garbed in traditional orcish shamanic attire (beads, bones, feathers, that kinda shit). Though clearly aged and weathered, his muscles are finely chiseled almost as though of stone. He gazes a perma-glare across the settled battlefield. "You. Explain yourself." He says to Thez.
[1d20 = 15] >Thez's eye twitches Now hold on a sec. I know this is weird and you're feeling familiar 'cuz you recognize me but everything else is weird, but that doesn't mean,.... He cuts her off in a sweeping, dramatic gesture: "If you won't do as I command, then DIE!"
A small green beam fires from his finger and bounces harmlessly off of her.
Apparently, that was supposed to have worked.
"You're still not done with that, are you?" she boringly observes. He gathers from within and about himself, does a crazy song and dance and from his hand bursts forth a shower of flame that immediately extinguishes its self as soon as it makes contact with her. She yawns prolongedly. "Look here zombie-fist, if you wanna have a go, lets do this, otherwise the alcohol-computer is online," Thez shrugs.
[1d20 = 6] The orc jumps from his crazy-bug-mount, makes a gesture toward Thez, and begins to chant. The bug slowly advances on her in a weird sideways-forward advance before one of its largely apparent (it has so many) eyes fires a red beam at her.
Thez easily sidesteps the creatures red beam of hate, and calmly closes distance. "You know I'm gonna break it right?" she taunts the orc as she enters a ready stance. From his back, the orc produces a wicked staff that looks like a chunk of 6' farming fencepost. He then drives the staff of weird metal agains the ground, the section he was holding turns into a finely wrapped grip, while the remainder turns into an obviously-magicked 4' flanged and barbed and burred and wtfe'd monster-club of metal doom.
As his black mantis-thing slowly flanks Thez, he readies his ridiculously abstract bar-mace. >Plz note: during cinematics, die rolls are DM-in person (on my kitchen table).
The orc closes into striking range.
Thez - attack of opportunity (due to orc's advance into her threatened area). Ready stance (at this point I am going to depict some of the finer points/maneuvers of combat), attacking incoming attacks (-4 to attack called shots). Orc rages, and is surrounded by swirling magic (divine power, atk bonus up major).
[3d20 = 44] Fails as the creature stumbles on some random debris. Thez maintains ready stance. Orc does a song and dance and doubles in size. To clarify, the orc is now about 15' tall. He carries a 4.5'diameter wicked bar-mace of mauling which he menacingly waves at/around Thez (who is still bored) before attacking.
[1d100 = 74] His first swing misses as she vaults over it, the second she spins underneath, and the third squarely connects, concussively striking at her lower and upper extremeties a the same time, such that several dislocations can be seen as her body contorts.
But then the Thez that can be seen getting brutalized and the Thez that is standing curiously behind the orc, watching the orc brutalize 'the Thez' become apparent. The brutalized Thez slides apart as though made of shadowy sand.
After a moment of satisfaction, Thez turns to Trump, Tracy, and Torcuil (who is on his side, but can see her). "That's Slag. I'm probably gonna have to rough him up for the next hour or so. Please, for your safety, go inside the pyramid so I can proper stomp this ugly motherfucker. >Thez beams a smile before dispelling the magical hold on Torcuil and Tracy.
Slag stands up from the edge of the tree-line, clearly enraged by being so unceremoniously sent flying. His strange mantis looks at him, unsure how to proceed, its arms waving menacingly in the air at Thez. He makes a quick gesture in her direction and performs another song and dance, this one causing small black flames to erupt acoss his arms, increasing the air of darkness around him.
Thez - Ready stance Slag - Free action - direct mantis; cast unholy aura. Mantis - Fire cold beam
Thez fails(?!) her saving throw, and is hit with a beam that causes small ice crystals to grow across the surface of the strike point, and she winces visibly, but is otherwise unmoved.
Thez - Ready stance - Dimension Door on successful attack. Charge 'Juuken' Slag - Barbarian Rage Mantis - Close distance and full attack
She holds up her left hand beckoning Slag to 'come get some', as he starts to Hulk out. The mantis closes on Thez's side. She voluntarily forfeits her attack of opportunity and the mantis unleashes a barrage of attacks swiping once, twice, a third time, then it attempts to bite her, swipes yet again before zeroing in on her with its eyes. She smiles. As the creature fires another beam, this one yellow and arcing with electricity, Thez vanishes from her spot and the beam passes harmlessly through. She appears simultaneously in the air behind the Mantis, and strikes it in the back of the head. "JUUKEN" As she strikes it, the Mantis' head explodes as though hit by a cannonball. The insect begins to flail around and swipe at the air before curling up on its self and becoming motionless. "I told you I was gonna break it,..." She goads as Slag, his over-the-top chunk of angry murder in hand, charges her in a bloodthirsty rage.
Thez - Ready Dimension Door; Strike any incoming attacks, wait for opportunity Slag - Full Round Attack As he gets faster and faster, he attempts a particularly aggressive strike.
His speed and strength visibly augmented, Slag rashly swings (almost) wildly and without coordination, while Thez playfully dances around the battlefield. One swing after another connects with either air or the ground (He gets 4 when he's raged).
A second round of swings brings him no closer to even hitting her, let alone doing damage. Still, he shows no signs of tiring. "Should I even bother using my fists? I know, I think its time for some rabbit-style!" She begins a fluid motion with her hands and feet, ultimately ending in a low crouch with one leg extended to the side, her arms held above her head like bunny ears. Slag lets out a blood-curdling roar and brings his bar-mace down upon her head, or starts to that is. Upon lifting the mace over his head she did a quick little hop forward, bringing her body forward leading with her now crouched legs,... which both then kick forward in a blow that successfully knocks all available wind from his body, and jars him enough to cause him to drop his weapon and double over. Landing in a crouch next to him, her tail whips out and sweeps his feet out from under him landing him on his back in an undignified heap. The wind is still knocked out from him, so he loses any further action this round. "You must realize by now that with the size of that thing, there's only two ways you can come at me. And now your bug is dead,...." she laments. "But MINE'S not!" she brightens and pulls a small fly-pin from her hair, which she throws to the ground. Slag grabs his mace and begins to climb unsteadily to his feet, as the fly-pin grows to a length of about 9'lx4'wx4'h, wearing a gilt-covered saddle. As he readies his weapon, she steps on the fly which takes off immediately, but not before he fails to land another two blows. The fly flies up about 20 feet, just outside his available range, where she just stands there dispassionately waiting for his autistic rage to wear off.
>>1827 For the moment. You're welcome to interact/input at any time. Slag comes from an Orc/Barbarian tribe where dominance is established through combat. Though he always loses, he always tries to put her in her place.
Before I go on, a note about ready-moves. Instant actions (pointing, saying something) can be done at any time, and a player can assign a number (not excessive) of ready moves during combat, though only one instant spell is allowed per round. So saying, Thez uses a strategy of readying a dimension door spell, while maintaining a stance from which she will strike any incoming melee attack. The effect is that she blocks any attacks that she can't outright dodge (assuming she has enough attacks per round) and upon a blow landing she releases the dimension door spell, avoiding any damage. Battle monks are haxx.
Normal actions are essentially 2/round except attacks, and except spells (1/round only). More than one attack per round requires a full round attack, which attacks with all available (unless otherwise desired). Some spells also require a full round to complete, but those are less common. Also, to cover a large distance (30y or more) takes a full round.
Players are not required to be that specific with combat, but are certainly encouraged to at leisure. It allows for a slightly more dynamic combat, where characters can in some ways anticipate their opponent's move and counter it strategically rather than only by a chance die roll. This is especially useful with mages, where a timely dispel can be the difference between lulz and burning.
Concluding the cinematic fight: Slag, unable to reach Thez during the last few moments of his rage, thrashes at the ground around him with his weapon before observably returning to himself, his breaths becoming labored and his posture one of obvious fatigue. Still holding her fly, she rotates around its thorax-vagina so that she appears seated on it, but inverted and on its belly. "Are you doooooooone yet?" she cutely teases. Even more furious at his disgraceful display, Slag's eyes shoot darts at her before he finally decided he has had enough. With a sharp glance toward Torcuil, Trump, and Tracy (hey, trip T's), he storms toward the pyramid. "Don't mind him, ever since he first showed up he's been all "Die!" and "I command you!" and "Silence!". I get the impression he is used to being in charge, but here NO one is in charge!" She says looking now at the T's, her ponytail dangling upside down 'above' her head. "Anyway, I'm gonna get busy bringing these things inside," she indicates the recent corpses of the giants and hydra (incidentally, there's still zombie corpses littering the area,... just thought I'd mention). "Trump and Torcuil could use some medical attention, and I should be done by then". For the next (undisclosed amount of time) Thez will be seen occasionally whoof(that's the Dimension door btw, think Nightcrawler from X-men)-ing around the corpses, and slowly dismantling them. First she collects all the armor from the giants, then she starts harvesting resources from the hydra (scales, teeth, claws, choice bones, etc.). As the last rays of sunlight disappear over the horizon, there is now several piles of neatly sorted items over by the workshop.
The giants didn't have much on them except for their armor (for those that did), but that in and of its self is huge (not only cuz giants either). There are now sufficient stores of metal to craft any sort of melee weapon or armor you would want. The Hydra however, is where its at. The scales of a Hydra grant damage reduction to whatever armor they are applied to, and the teeth can be used to augment bladed melee weapons. What's more, the smell of cooked hydra emanates from the mess hall, in addition to a large (several cows worth) pile of meat (as a commodity or w/e) thats now being stored in the walk-in.
>>1837 Well, not as specified by the listing in the Monster's Manual, but (whoosh) yes, poisonous (plz note, poison use without poison skill can have consequences ^_^). Thez didn't know that in any event, so its all still outside in a pile of hydra.
>>1840 Thez notices Tracy watching the overall proceedings. She says "You're a little banged up yourself, you want a healing potion?" >offers a small vial of bluish liquid
Incidentally, if you're wondering where she is pulling/putting everything from/to, she is wearing a small hand-crossbow quiver at the base of her tail that is of a particularly useful and spacious variety.
[1d20 = 10] It looks like I'll have to be a gladiator for quite a while before I can have my happily ever after. What buffs could I get from making a killer outfit out of that hyrdra/giant skin?
*Grumbles to self while prepping giant's leather* "Fucking purple bitch, sticking us all in an endless gladiator tournament..! I'm going to have to reschedule the ceremony..." *dissects hydra's head for brains* "I think purple is more of my color.."
>>1863 Kek's female form is Snek (Heket, actually). Perhaps materials harvested from the body would be of use for idolic or alchemical purposes. Use your imagination.
*Glares in annoyance* "Come and get it yourself, dumb frog-summoner!" It's all sitting in neat piles. Try googling it to look up magic/symbolic uses of snake body parts. *Abandons giant's hide and trots off to sharpening room* "Useless junk. Didn't help the last guy who wore it one bit..."
>>1865 There's enough bones and scales that you can have some without really affecting the number. I mean as a resource I'll let you know when expended,... but you could probably pull off 3 suits of hydra plate before running out, and you've only got one armor wearer. So yeah, go nuts.
>>1870 >char sheet Honestly we're pretty much winging it at this point But I have no objections to you joining >>1867 >>1868 Ohh I have an idea Snakes where used by Isis to get Ra's true name Also cleopatra dies using snakes sticking to the egyptian theme Do we need to interogate anyone?
>>1886 K. Alright, you find yourself in a room. You're not entirely sure how you got there, and its relatively bare. The walls are an opaque glass, with what appears to be a sliding door. There is no furniture except for a chest of the same glassy material, and the bed you find yourself on.
At the moment, Thez is in the Mess area tinkering with a weird scepter-lookin thing. Slag is also Mess in the corner, looking like a zombie fist (we started calling him that 'cuz his skin is green and when he gets mad his face scrunches up like a zombie fist,... see like that right there).
There's plenty of information. If you're looking to synthesize healing and/or transformation potions, you may consider yourself having sufficient information. Unfortunately, there's not much in the way of ingredients available, and while the mess hall can synthesize food, it can't recreate the fundamental properties that make components effective. Also, sorry for dubs.
>>1901 Alright. As a cleric, you're welcome to use a zweihander, and you can use some armor, but only piecemail (think chainmail with spaulders, greaves, and occasional plates). >not part of the Kreigsmesser master race Xp
>tfw you're the only one here RPing as a mudpony I didn't realize this would just be three weeks of gladiator style battles. Can GM point me to anything my character could use in this room? Or how I can develop the story of this game?
Suddenly Thez springs to her feet. "Alright! Enough of this lagging around! I say the time has come where we explore this strange world and learn of the cities and the people and the world we find ourselves in and get back my record-contract! Anyone feeling up for it? >>1913 I'll do you one better. If you're out and about, you can make a simple potion out of simple ingredients, the availability of which can be determined with a die roll (by the way, you might want to "grab some potion making stuff). More complicated potions require the equipment you can find here in the 'library'.
The Football shrine's power heals all damage and status ailments, but characters can still take damage within the shrine, correct, even if it's healed instantly?
>>1926 "Unless you wanna stay holed up here,... me, I wanna know what's changed in the Game and get back my record contract" She's standing on one of the tables, but she's only 4' tall normally, so she stands slightly taller than Trump.
*Drags towards personal room, Humming to self* "We're going to have some fun tonight, ~Flashy." >*Binds limbs with giant's sinews* "Good, old-fashioned, all-Equestrian FUN!"
"Its times like this I'm glad to be Neutral Evil," Thez giggles and turns back to Torcuil. "Well, you mind waiting a moment for them to,... re-emerge?"
>>1943 What kinda supplies? If you mean food, you can carry about 2 weeks worth of dry goods, readily available in the Mess. Bedrolls and the like are also available.
>>1945 Assume this is all entirely premeditated and that I already brought all the crap I'm about to use. (Still humming)"~Hmmhmm..!" >*tosses on bed* >*Begins undressing. Keen-edged knives slicing through retarded gold armor like cheese* >*whispers into ear* "It's about time I reminded you of that fateful night you promised to marry me, ~Flaaashy!" >>1945 I want kinky equipment and drugs. If it's available, I would've already found it.
>>1947 Okay first of all, you are welcome to slice through the straps and binding of his armor, but no the keen edge does not just go through armor. Secondly, there's not much to having 'kinky' when you've got leather straps and buckles (there's plenty, 4 giants and their clothes got resourced), and 3 there ARE drugs, but you haven't found any sign at this point
>>1955 The three brown circles are now piles of dead things, ignore the lines, but the clearing is relatively,... clear. In the distance, on all sides is a towering wall. The wall is segmented in the north, suggesting a gate or archway, but its obscured by trees.
In all these years, *rummages through sack* I've run into quite the multitude of drugs. Ezekiel taught me a few things about Zebra alchemy... *Produces hydra fang, still attached to venom gland* "Ezekial used to pay through the nose to get his hands on these. The venom is similar to those of the Nephila variety: in it's normal dose, it would stop your heart instantly, but when diluted a bit..." *Squeezes into one of Thez's water bottles* ".. It would do exactly the same thing.. after a couple of hours, if you're not given the antidote" *produces used syringe from knife-cozy* "In the mean time, it should ensure that your little stallion down here is at his best tonight.." >*pats bulge in Brads lioncloth* >*injects*
[2d6 = 12] >>1964 You explode. Or rather, some sort of spell that was cast on the door is set off, causing an explosion. Everyone else, you hear an explosion.
>>1968 You're in a long hallway, with a row of doors on one side, including the one you just came from. On the other side of the hall at either end is a door that is also open. In the middle of the hallway is an old and charred sign that says "Please do not firetrap the rooms". You don't see anyone.
>>1967 [lewdness intensifies] Black veins slowly creep across Trumpadin's body from the point at his junk where he was injected. His whole body begins to shiver in a paralytic spazm and he breaks out into sweat, but he remains silent. His tiny, incompetent chink-boner springs to life, twitching at the potent venom's affect. "There, there... Flashy~kun" She whispers in an eerily-uncharacteristically gentle voice. "It'll all come back soon enough..."
>>1979 The figure steps fully into the hallway, standing at 4'2", wearing an assortment of tattered skins covering their body. The hair is a bright pink, pointy ears, and dark purple skin. In their left hand is a blackened old broom.
I'm still researching to get this shit right. I hope it's slightly entertaining. Remember: everything that happens to Waifu Thief in this game is official board canon, via popular opinion of userbase.
>>1980 "No, but you have to admit it was kinda funny,...." shrugs. "Don't worry, unless you see a 2' tall guy with golden hair running around, that won't happen again. I'm Thez <extends a shiny-black, clawed hand>.
>>1983 I better not get into trouble for this >>1982 Where, that's a good question. Welcome to the world of the Game. This world was designed by entities and beings well beyond our comprehension, because they were bored. Throughout your life (you died by the way) you made an impression on one or more impressionable entities, and so upon your demise they decided "No, I like that dude, I wanna see more of him". So you find yourself here, like the rest of us. The building you find yourself in is inhabited by several others, with their own origins and proclivities. Let me show you around for a bit. >removes mask
>>1985 K, so starting from the lower right of that 1F image, moving counter clockwise: "This facility has been here for an unknown amount of time, but has been essentially provided for our use. Innumerable parties have come and gone through the Game, and now it's "our" turn (approaching northern corner/steps). Up the stairs to the immediate right the library/magefag area, to the left is the mess hall/workshop and the shrine to Football (ur new so u won't get that meme yet) and at the top of the stairs is a dais for super cereal magicks.
>>1983 This feels almost a bit too one-sided Almost. I guess I'll just do my best to narrate this, unless objections? >tfw you'redoing this at midnight after overdosing on autism meds, and your half-braindead with no autism to draw inspiration from.
>>1989 "Stripefags? I don't understand. Please note, this world exists on a crossing point of many dimensions. I may know what you mean, but not know it by unfamiliarity with the words you use."
>>1996 Oh I'm sure there are plenty. Its been a while since the Game last reset (it does that every so often, inexplicably), but last I recall there was a heavy infiltration from the nation of Obongo. Don't quote me on that, I haven't even been outside the wall on this 'go'.
>>1992 I've already got him tied-up and poisoned to the point where he can't even crawl back to the Elway shrine.. I need to stay in conjunction with my characters goal anyway: It's gotta be >rape. He's unconscious until he shows, so there's no point in torture porn at this point; I guess I'll just hump him with intent to 1488, until he wakes up. I was kind of hoping he'd be back here to witness it by now...
[1d20 = 20] >>2003 >>2004 I don't know about 'warrior', but he's a proper bastard. >walking outside to where Torcuil is. As you approach, you see a long-bearded scotsman in a billowing robe (think of a full-body kilt) glancing around for some inspiration.
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! WAIFU-THIEF COME OUT SO I CAN >RAPE YOU PROPERLY, YOU COWERING SNAKE!!! >>2007 I haven't finished drawing their OC offspring, but that was supposed to be the end-game.
>>2011 Well, for kicks I rolled on it, and got a 20/28. I'm leaving it at "Might be", in the sense that a woman "might" know if she has been inseminated. Was hoping that Tracy would be the first player rape victim
>>2012 Tracy's already been raped 6 gorillion times. I was going to make it a sort of miracle that she'd become fertile again. >*spashes water on face* "Time to wake up, Flashy!"
[1d20 = 14] >>2008 Okay, so Torcuil is afb (away from board) atm. Last I checked him he was raring to go, so how about we leave it at an 'unspecified friendly contact' for the time being.
>>2015 Yes she did. And you can be certain then that Trump will be erect for the entirety of his slumber (till he logs in). Also, he will remember nothing.
>>2017 Sure! >pokes Torcuil Since we're doing this on an imageboard, its kinda anything-goes, so it doesn't always mesh just right, but its still lots of fun desu. >leads back to Library, see 2F image
>>2023 With an 8, I'm tempted to be a dick, but since its MK, you find it on a pedestal between two shelves, a light placed above it for ambience and reverence.
"Now, Flashy, used one of Ezekiel's tricks to 'help' you out a bit while you were passed out. Don't worry: it's not permanent. We'll have a couple hours of personal time before things get serious, so until then. >*straddles crotch and wraps hooves around your chest* "Love me!" >>2027 >Implying you can do shit while tied up and paralyzed
>>2031 Okay, here's what I've come up with. The first drug mixed with the second drug in his system, negating some aspects but leaving others in operation. The result is that he's now conscious, with an uncomfortable boner, with no memory of what happened in the last hour or so. Good?
>>2035 Pali's are immune to lasting/life-threatening poison, be happy this worked at all >>2037 Shamefully, I haven't read MK yet so I can't quote You get a sign that you should kill ziggers.
[1d20 = 6] >>2036 *Grumbles at having scenario foiled* I should've >raped him when I had the chance... *speed increases* roll to wear down Flashy's stamina.
>>2039 Pssst, u did rape Trump successfully loosens some of his bonds through sheer force. He's now loosely tied to the bed, and able to move around a bit.
>>2045 o_o >_< >_o When you say 'finish off', are you being redundant? Its getting to the point where I want to put gloves on, but the deed is done. O_o
Trump is standing exactly where his character left off in the woods returning to the clearing, now healed of his bruises from the fight with the giants
>>2057 >following his lead "This guy's got the right idea! Who cares who MAY have raped who, or what MAY have happened,... there's a whole world of shenanigens to get lost in! >Thez beams
>realizes that no one else has realized the Minotaur. "Oh, right, this is Infernius. He blew up while you all were busy. He wants to kill ziggers." She seems happy at the thought of murder and mayhem, as though anyone didn't know already.
>>2060 >status quo Wut? There's a new character - a Minotaur Cleric - and Tracy has been entertaining herself while you have been idle. Nothing that has occurred will be consequential or damaging, but IS headcanon now, and will be depicted at some point Gratz, you've helped inspire a Tracy/Trump OC.
>Thez looks at Infernius Ya know, you're right. Lets go kill some shit. I was thinking of doing other stuff muh record contract but really, I just want to spill some blood. It'll be bad blood, I promise.
What have I gotten myself into? >>2066 >Thez sizes him up You'd have to bind me first, but yeah, lets kill some shit. >>2068 R U guys ready to kill shit, or do you want to enable him to wrangle his way out of this? The longer we dawdle, the more time he has to try and come up with a counter,....
>>2077 Dubs confirm, Trump was uh standing outside the whole time. By Torcuil even, yes they were standing there the whole time >sweat Nothing untoward happened here. Lets kill some ziggers! >nervous laugh
Okay, so for the situation as it stands (kinda modded cuz there was discontinuity) lets assume that Trump stormed his way outside while Thez, Infernius, and Torcuil were standing out there.
We won't speak for the moment of what may or may not have transpired WRT Tracy/Trump. Ever,... unless it comes up again Xp. Seriously though, unless players are intent on raping eachother (which, I admit, is not prohibited), there is not much story to develop on that avenue (anymore lol) >>2085 Consider it a compartmentalization that has not become consequent yet. >>2086 1. No, of course not, that would be untenable and improper, I'm offended that you would suggest otherwise. What manner of bread do you think this is, something degenerate? 2. Yes 3. Yes 4. No
>>2089 Trumpaladin, a Paladin and lawful good, former member of the imperial guard I'm guessing of Equestria? and served in multiple capacities. Loves his nation and loves killing things. I think I'm a large human also
>>2091 >instinctively putting this at an introductory phase Trump extends his hand in stoic and measured openness to this Bullish (literally) monstrosity that only actually stands about 1/2 a foot taller.
>>2092 "Pleased to meet you Mr... Mr. Inferius." >wants to say "I've worked with many diverse and colorful characters including Mintotaurs, but doesn't want to sound awkward and kind of racist by bringing it up
>>2104 I'm guessing you must be new here. I have met with Football... Not just a representation of Football, but the one, true Football, and He told me that we are already dead; we have been selected because of our merits and also that blue one over there. This snake lady thing said something similar - that we are already dead, that there is no going back, and that we are to fight endlessly and pointlessly for the amusement of bored minor deities... >>2107 But if there is a way back to save our countries... well, we may as well try the main gate. Onwards!
So (unless I hear any objections) the overwhelming party consisting of: Torcuil - Currently absent, but a stout Scotsman and developming Meme Magician (lit, he has to meme to cast spells). Trump - Totally not raped in any way, Trump is resplendent in his shiny armor, with his fine Bastard sword and ample tower shield. Tracy - Totally not a psychopath in any way. Has a bandolier of knives tho, and looks at you weirdly. Infernius - The new guy. He's not a monster, he's a minotaur. He carries a Zwiehand(Exceptionally-Great-Sword) with augmenting (and useful!) knee and shoulder-plates. Thez - Archetype, Tulpa, She's here to make sure anyone who is pudding gets to still play; Sadistic rage-monk.
Okay, I have to ask your opinion as players at this point. Traditionally I would present you with an obstacle, in this case a large, reinforced, iron gate. I would do so to give certain players the opportunity to gain experience for ingenuity or creativity. I would also use this opportunity to drag the game out some, cuz rhythm. This is not a traditional rendering of the game. Can I instead suggest that there may have been some arguing over methods, some bants and insults, and some general tomfoolery before ultimately the gate 'got broken from increased attention' and the party carried on?
>>2126 I appreciate your willingness to compromise. Its not always like this, but its not always like 'anything' at this point. I welcome your participation. >>2127 U with your,... oh sleep! Xp >>2115 Its not (You) who is getting raped/exploited (come on, Paladins are comic relief, combat aside), its Trumpaladin, and he is no more real than a pony. Xp
I do want the story to continue, and I'm fully prepared to go to lengths to depict it. Having said, I also recognize that anons are/may-be on different timezones and positions. Tracy is falling out, but characters can still play on. I'll admit a bias toward Tracy 'cuz Thez wants to rape her, but we can work well past that.
And... I've been dropped from classes because I did not pay tuition on time. I've been busy with job applications and a new internship and they couldn't be fucked to send me an email warning me of the deadline. Whatever, I'll deal with this on Monday
WHY Kek? Why doth thou graceth thyne bread with wanton dubs and trips?! Is it thy will that those who doth venture into parts unknown of the imagination be blessed and checked?
>>2144 Yeah, I should be able to hold out. The job search is putting me into depression and a litany of side issues are not helping. Never go to law school. I do not care how well you did on the LSAT or how ranked an institution you were accepted into
>>2141 Sorry Infernius/Confed-anon, it doesn't look like there are enough players to sustain the Game. Generally the Game runs on Saturdays, with storyline, bants, and inter-character development at leisure through the week. Next Sat, we'll pick up where we left off (on the verge of killin'! ssshhhh, u don't know that yet), but since we're (the group) not in a threat-situation, u can interact as you like per the maps. I can't reupload cuz they're in thread.
>>2149 If you mean the prominence of the thread on the homepage, perhaps the feature causing posts from the board to appear on the home page could be made configurable, such that /vx/ could be easily listed or delisted as needed with Admin edit, or perhaps threads with special tripcodes would not have replies to them appear on the homepage (sounds unnecessarily complicated to me, but there's a Dev I'll bet would love to write this).
If you mean the fact that the main board sort of dies, I think that's just what happens when 4 active posters are distracted from the main board.
>>2153 Well, I come out of a gaming-coma and when I look at the homepage its all /vx/-gaming. I'm not adverse, but I imagine this inhibits browsing and perusing, so I would suggest something that prevents game thread from being obtrusive? IDK.
>>2151 What I meant: The gaming thread hogs the homepage. I would hate for a random new-mlpol to get drowned in gaming shit by happenstance. Thank you for the degrees of slack that the gaming thread has enjoyed, but look out for the newb,... we may rape them in time.
>>2157 Yeah, no worries. It took most of the session to get everyone ready to venture out anyway, not that that is a bad thing since we got another player out of it!
>>2141 Oh! I totally forgot to mention! We've gamed like this for the past three weekends, usually starting in the afternoon/evening on Saturdays, and I'll spend the week (off and on) filling in details that might have been overlooked, unspoken, or too cumbersome to require players to "ask the right questions".
>>2163 Yes of course, how careless of me to misspeak in such a manner that suggests otherwise,... cuz we can be certain that nothing happened and all. ^_^
>>2115 >Gamesters of Triskelion Actually, thats a very apt comparison, though in this case the audience is "whatever" is the causal agent(s) behind meme magic. Desu, that's a number that is legion.
So to reiterate, we can do a little gaming tonight (after Tea I'm thinking) if players would like, otherwise Thez is going to banter more about the game/etc as the party makes its way north. Feel free to throw out questions or w/e as inspired.
>>2224 It's really an interesting question. In Gamesters of Triskelion, they are to fight for the pleasure of the pretend-gods, basically as gladiators. However, many Christians will openly say everything "is for the pleasure of God." Yet the two are looked at very differently. I think it's because in the Christian context, the service is to a loved and respected authority figure. There is a reciprocated love of the served deity, so that the service is in part out of love. The served deity is also highly respected and admired, and his approval is very highly valued. It's the same as making your father or your hero proud, except more so. In the Gamesters of Triskelion, it's basically slavery and suffering for the sake of simple amusement to beings who are not admired or admirable, and who are not loved nor do they give any love in return for the service.
This matters because of how it plays into Trumpaladin's motivations. He is a former soldier and law enforcement officer. He is motivated to serve a purpose higher than himself. He is no one's gladiator, though he is a happy and willing crusader. That's why he interprets the words of John Elway and Thez, though they say almost the same thing, very differently. The former is inspirational, the latter causes a crisis of faith
>>2227 The Bamboo Canon Episode is "Arena," which is not the episode discussed here, although is very similar in that a set of god-like entities are trying to make two species fight for them, so it's a relevant comparison.
Gamesters of Triskelion is an episode where Kirk and a few of the crew are taken from the transporter bay and end up in a gladitorial arena where they are excepted to fight with other beings who are kept captive there. The voices heard operating the arena are very pushy and demand they fight for their amusement, calling them "thralls" and keeping them in line with sort of Shock-collars. Kirk quite naturally charms or romances a female captive, and they eventually manage an escape and attack the computers that are holding them.
Firetrap doesn't do all that much damage anyhow. The practice began because previous players had a nasty habit of sneaking into one another's room, so one player started putting a firetrap on his, not so much to deter thieves, but as a motion-detection; it can only be disarmed magically. Over time, other players contracted the initial to put firetraps on their rooms as well, as the absence of an explosion upon returning meant that someone had been in their room. Eventually, said character made a practice of firetrapping all the rooms, particularly when players were inside for lulz. This is when the sign was posted, which only egged him on further.
>>2238 >Trumpaladin is irritated at the thought of being only a player, He thought he would be doing more with his death than this. Actually, what was he expecting out of being dead? Trump doesn't really know what he expected. I guess just not to be dead?
>>2239 But he's not dead, its that he has died. Besides, in order to understand all that, you have to figure out the riddle of the player who is controlling the player, who then controls Trump. ^_~
>>2242 "See, the thing is that while we are here, wandering through the (now into the) forest, there are faggots sitting in front of devices kinda like the sphere in the pyramid, essentially controlling our every move. In the same sense, those faggots are characters being controlled by players beyond THEIR comprehension." >>2243 >pouf
[1d20 = 16] "The actions we are naturally and inevitably inclined to make are actually determined by individuals shall we say, who exercise control over us in the context that is presented. For example: >Thez kicks Infernius in the junk Note that he doesn't respond. This is because his faggot is not currently interfaced. In the same sense, there is a faggot behind the faggot who interfaces with our faggot and makes our faggot make us do things. >Pouf is 'poof' au francais
>>2248 *Steps forward curiously* "So... Does this mean that any one of us won't be able to move, unless the faggots in whereeverthefuck controlling this place are paying attention? Couldn't that suddenly make any one of us very.. vulnerable, to attack?"
Also note, there's a Gantz-esque element to the game, in addition to 'entity involvement'. There is some utility to the Game that is currently unknown to characters, even Thez.
>>2255 No, I meant it how I said it. We get alot of french-canadians where I'm at, and I want to make it clear I have no fucking clue what they just said, so don't even try. ^_^ >>2256 "Technically yes, though my faggot can kinda sorta nudge characters in a direction that would make sense for their personality, to the degree that such personality is known. Take you for example, my faggot knows that you would be planning in your faggot's absence, and would assume you are doing such things in such cases." ^_~ >A rubber chicken appears in the air for a moment and then disappears "Technically, anything is possible."
"By the way, I'm surprised you guys didn't make anything while we were back at 'base'. I'd have thought you might wanna beef ur stuff, rather than just hoarding some of it," Thez says while staring up into the trees. Oh yeah, the trees. The area you're passing through is very obviously overgrown with no human interaction for an indeterminably long time. Birds flitter through the trees and deer can be seen running and foraging in the distance. It is as though this place has been forgotten.
>>2269 My apologies, I had overlooked that. That is something he would have been doing while he was definitely not getting raped. If you'd like, you can have a bow, though a war axe would take more time to fabricate.
>>2284 Huzzah, I'll take a bow. Let's go with English Longbow, since it's quality, but would take less time to fabricate than the technically superior Asiatic composite bow. also it makes a good melee weapon to smack little ponies with, when they are out of line
>>2290 careful, they might like it The archway shades the area, so it is pretty bare soil around the gate. The door that is exposed is about 20' tall, though the remainder that lies under the dirt can't be determined. There doesn't appear to be a mechanism to operate it (buried?).
Thez starts walking around, grabbing sections of wall and tapping at others. "Well, I could climb it, but I have no idea how to get you guys past. Let me see,..." she begins digging in her crossbow quiver.
[1d20 = 17] Trump considers hitting it with his sword, but realizes that would damage his sword, and the same with his bow, while the shield can't focus the impact well enough.
>>2322 "Aha! Coming right up!" Thez grips her broom and twists the handle. Jerking the handle apart, she reveals two curved blades of a damascus pattern, in the shape of a particular japanese sword that's name escapes me for the moment. She walks toward the outer section of the wall and buries both blades into the stone. With an exerted twist, she spins the blades inside the stone, until a conical chunk of stone about the size of a medicine ball pops out.
>>2324 R u serious? I mean, in order to do that you would need to land an attack roll (which you have), land an additional grapple check, and then land another attack roll. So, 2 more 20's
>>2328 This is Tracy we're talking about here. She's not going to resist being grabbed bodily, so it's really like just picking up a rock, except the rock gets sexually aroused
[6d6 = 20] [1d20 = 11] Thez picks up the rock and tosses it to Infernius. "You, the barbecue sauce mascot, make yourself useful." Infernius, who was standing there with drool coming out of his mouth, suddenly comes to awareness as though having been asleep. He looks curiously at the rock, then the gate, comprehends the situation and then heaves the rock at the frozen gate.
[2d4 = 6] Cracks appear on the surface of the door, but it remains. Infernius stands there for a moment, wondering what to do until Thez kicks him in the ass toward the rock. He gets it, and proceeds to pund the door another that many times until it crumbles apart, causing the entire arch to collapse, crushing everyone. I'm just kidding, the gate is clear.
>>2332 But if Tracy's front hooves are used to batter the door, rather than say the rear, the hand Trump would have to have the firmest grip with is the one that transfers force into the pelvic bone. And that's an awkward grip
The other side of the gate is like this one, a clear section leading up to massive overgrowth, however beyond that can be seen gradually descending hills overlooking a valley, including several rivers of varying size leading to a large (though not as large as the ones you just passed) walled city.
"Huh, this whole scene is different. Last time we were at the base of two mountains, this time it looks like we're on one," Thez comments as the party clears the archway. "I really don't know what to expect," she says, re-sheathing her blades. "In any case, at least there are actual people we can talk to now." As she says this, she puts her mask back on and twitches it by the chin. Her appearance shifts, and she reverts back to the form of Urri, the cowardly hippy who first greeted the party upon their entrance.
>>2343 "Well, Urri was an old friend of mine, he's the one who made this metal," she says, tapping the handle of her broom with her claw which 'tink tinks'. "If I walk around looking like I normally do I either get doors shut in my face, or someone decides they want to die tries to have their way with. This allows me to stay below the radar."