/vx/ - Videogames and Paranormal


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Inching Closer
Anonymous
058ba7b
?
No.175000
175042 175084 175098
The next big quest with everypony in it is coming soon (TM)
1727 replies and 50 files omitted.
Anonymous
dce5ec2
?
No.176532
176533 176534 176542 176550
            [Read more]            
Anonymous
6072a91
?
No.176533
176534 176542 176553
>>176532
>Posey believes she is aware of a lich who more or less fits the description in terms of years of origin and of origin region. However, she does not know him to have ever gone by the name "Joseph Curwhinny" and he does not seem to identify as being him.
Posey suspects that he may have changed names after metamorphosis, as many Liches do. She makes not to report this to the Society.
>These socialists say something like that, I believe
"Very well..."
She stands up, flipping through her grimoire
"I believe I heard rumors of dormant malign energies on a farm nearby. I'll be taking a period of leave to investigate it. You'll read about it in my reference book." Posey says
She turns to leave
Anonymous
6072a91
?
No.176534
176542
>>176533
>>176532
Oh wait, how could I forget
Having interacted for a full minute, Posey now rolls Diplomacy to improve the Dean's attitude towards her.
[1d20+8 = (13+8) = 21]
Amber Sunset
33e5497
?
No.176535
176539
>>176528
Amber recoils, her ears splayed back, at her father's outburst. It hurts her to hear him yelling at her mother especially when it's a result of her own curiosity, and she feels close to crying. But she reminds herself she is a big filly and should find a better way out of it.

"Y-yes, Papa…can we go get salt now?" she asks in a quiet voice.
Garv Cavaliere
33e5497
?
No.176536
176539
>>176528
"From my experience, there is no such thing as an impossible infestation," Cavaliere replies. "You just have to know how they get in and where they're hiding."

Cavaliere dutifully puts up with the examinations and is in good health for his age. Is there any sign of the Equestrian who was having trouble with entry before?
Amber Sunset
33e5497
?
No.176538
176543
>>176537
Is the weather still getting worse outside?
Anonymous
e87acbb
?
No.176539
            [Read more]            
Garv Cavaliere
33e5497
?
No.176540
176543
>>176537
"Deprioritized in favor of what? You mean to tell me that changeling infiltrators aren't your biggest threat?" Cavaliere looks intrigued.

And also: "Why was that stallion pulled aside? He sounds like a native of this land."
Anonymous
6072a91
?
No.176542
176550
>>176533
>>176532
>>176534
If the dean doesn't have anything else to say, Posey makes her preparations to leave for the lair, and does so with the swiftness of an experienced grave robber.

Posey takes all of her equipment with her (sword, chain shirt, etc)
She also takes Gloomy with her.

She leaves at whatever point would bring her in line with the others.
Anonymous
e87acbb
?
No.176543
176545 176546
>>176538
Somewhat. The wind is heavier. But there is still no precipitation and no clouds.

>>176540
“No. The biggest threat would be insurgent groups like the Equestrian Liberation Front and the Popular Front. They will bomb factories, kill our soldiers and murder local politicians. They are very difficult to fight directly, so mostly we try to cut them off from any foreign sources of support or supplies.”

“That Equestrian ‘native’ is an emigre. He left Equestria after we came in, presumably precisely because he didn’t like the new government. So he claimed refugee status and moved up north, until he found out the weather is awful there and the job market is even worse, so he came back. Or maybe, he got in touch with a ‘Free Equestrian’ or Aquelian handler, who told him to come back as a spy.”
Amber Sunset
33e5497
?
No.176545
176547
>>176543
She continues to follow along, though her mind is distracted by thoughts of the blast, spirits and that mysterious stone. And then there's the conversation she overheard….

"Papa? Are we really going to move to the city?"
Garv Cavaliere
33e5497
?
No.176546
176553
>>176543
"And the changelings don't do that?" he asks with curiosity.

"Well now, those are a bunch of presumptions. There are different reasons one could come up with that would explain his story as well. You just mentioned that these Fronts cause chaos and destruction, and maybe it was their violence a few years ago that convinced him to leave. It's somewhat more peaceful now and that may be the reason for his return, with family ties or simply a love for the land. Has there been any evidence of intent to spy or be a criminal?"
Anonymous
e87acbb
?
No.176547
176548
>>176545
The wind howls and tugs at them.

“What? Oh. You heard that. Uh… maybe? We’ll see. I think we might be able to live better there.”
Amber Sunset
33e5497
?
No.176548
176553
>>176547
"Have you been there? What are the forests like? Is there snow too?" Over the loudness of the wind, Amber's tone is of genuine curiosity rather than cynicism.
Anonymous
6072a91
?
No.176550
176553
>>176542
>>176532
Is there anything else I should work out now before Posey enters the scene?
Kubana "Nope Noodle" Kirafiki
3952934
?
No.176551
176553
>>176512
"Heh...I really didn't want to eat you, but it is good to hear it's all good now." Kira finally finishes washing up the tea set, and comes out of the kitchen. "So what was all that about teats you two were talking about when I accidentally interrupted?"
Silver "The Floof" Sword
3952934
?
No.176552
176553
>>176513
Silver nods in affirmation. "Yes."
Anonymous
058ba7b
?
No.176553
176554 176555 176559 176560 176561 176565
            [Read more]            
Silver "The Floof" Sword
3952934
?
No.176554
176556
>>176553
Silver shrugs.

"If you mean 'why would they want them', I have no clue, to be honest. If you mean 'why do they have them', Blue Skies is Dark Star's marefriend and he invited her along to help."
Kubana "Nope Noodle" Kirafiki
3952934
?
No.176555
176556
>>176553
"You seemed to enjoy it! Don't worry, I'm sure we'll see plenty more of him, and you'll get plenty more chances to woo him with your feminine charms and wiles." Kira smiles at Neela before continuing. "So what is it like having them?"
Anonymous
058ba7b
?
No.176556
176557 176558
>>176555
"Hehe. Uh... fine, I suppose? Bucks like to play with them, but they can get in the way."

>>176554
"Who is 'Dark Star'?" She asks
Silver "The Floof" Sword
3952934
?
No.176557
176562
>>176556
"That pony I told you about who tried to see what alchemical salts and cremated ashes tasted like. He is good pony and good friend, just...not his best moment."
Kubana "Nope Noodle" Kirafiki
3952934
?
No.176558
176562
>>176556
"I imagine. I couldn't imagine how bothersome it would be to try to slither about with them. Well, I probably could imagine, they would probably be very sore and ouchy rubbing against the hard ground wherever I go. Makes me glad we don't have them."
Anonymous
6072a91
?
No.176559
176561 176562
            [Read more]            
Anonymous
6072a91
?
No.176560
>>176553
>"Debride is your supervisor. She has say concerning any 'leave'." Is all he has to say
Posey naturally informs Debride of her leave, and since she needs some field material to finish her latest reference book.
Amber Sunset
33e5497
?
No.176561
176562
>>176553
Finally know what country this even is

"No forest?" Amber seems amazed this is even possible. "How can ponies get the firewood they need to stay warm?"

>>176559
Delightfully devilish, Seymour!
Anonymous
058ba7b
?
No.176562
176563 176566 176579 176581
No trees.png
            [Read more]            
Anonymous
6072a91
?
No.176563
176564
>>176562
>Do you want to wait several in-game months for that?
No. Posey will go there now first. The other part is good for thought.

Posey goes down to the site with Gloomy. She'll inform the owner that she's here sweeping for malign energies. She can plant the items later.
Anonymous
058ba7b
?
No.176564
176567
>>176563
Posey comes to the area, presumably taken by Mason. To every side are the frames of new houses, save on one side where there are low level apartments, and a block over, a school. The lot itself is a city block and an island in the sea of development. It has uncut grass, a couple trees, a dilapidated house, the exposed foundation of a house, and a large hole in the ground consistent with a quarry. Nearish the center is a set of tents that are set up.
Garv Cavaliere
33e5497
?
No.176565
176569
            [Read more]            
Amber Sunset
33e5497
?
No.176566
176569
>>176562
For every answer she gets she is brimming with more questions. "Have I seen coal before? What is it like? Where do they farm all their crops?"
Anonymous
6072a91
?
No.176567
176569
>>176564
Posey thanks Mason for the ride and usher Gloomy to follow her onto the site.
Anonymous
058ba7b
?
No.176569
176570 176571 176573 176583
            [Read more]            
Anonymous
6072a91
?
No.176570
176583
>>176569
I gotta sleep now. Posey moves deeper into the lot.
She possessively levitates Gloomy to keep him away from any blood-stealing ticks that might be hiding in the uncut grass.
Amber Sunset
33e5497
?
No.176571
176572
>>176569
"Sounds like they need us a lot," Amber remarks with a smile. "Doesn't that mean we should stay out here so they have food?"
Anonymous
058ba7b
?
No.176572
176574
>>176571
Father tries to pet Amber, but with the thickness of the fur coats, his attempts at pets are not successful.

"Heh, maybe, but wouldn't you like to be warm?"

A pony in a heavy coat shambles and staggers along, walking along the small street.
Garv Cavaliere
33e5497
?
No.176573
176575
>>176569
Cavaliere mulls this over before answering in a deep but soft voice. "Join in what exactly? I cannot tell you how things should be run, and I am a foreigner, but if you wanted to return to your war-torn home only to be turned away by…" he waves a claw around briefly as he thinks of a word that isn't "occupier" "…management under a different flag, wouldn't you feel like a foreigner in your own country? A bit upset, even? Sir, you can't make an entire populace who have done nothing but been caught in a two-front war feel like aliens and not expect increased resistance. If you had a better system of probation for returning nationals, this 'ELF' wouldn't disappear overnight, but one of its motives for recruitment would be defanged."
Amber Sunset
33e5497
?
No.176574
176575
>>176572
"It would be nice…hey, who's that?"
Anonymous
058ba7b
?
No.176575
176576 176578
>>176573
"And what is 'a better system of probation'?"

>>176574
"Thay's" Father looks over and takes a number of seconds before giving a reply "I think that's Kulho Linssejä." He says of the stallion who staggers down the road. As his face is completely covered, it isn't clear how father could tell
Amber Sunset
33e5497
?
No.176576
176577
>>176575
"How do you know? And why is he walking like that?"
Anonymous
058ba7b
?
No.176577
176580
>>176576
"It kind of looks like him. Sort of. He looks drunk..."
Garv Cavaliere
33e5497
?
No.176578
176585
>>176575
"Parole would help a good amount. Or, if you must, have another pony vouch for his good behavior."
Silver "The Floof" Sword
3952934
?
No.176579
176585
>>176562
"Heh, I suppose I do attract interesting company. At least it makes for avoiding dull moments. Now, we still have some more rooms to explore. Maybe other library has some hidden nook in it."
Amber Sunset
33e5497
?
No.176580
176585
>>176577
"What if he's frostbitten?" Amber asks worriedly, remembering the mare's odd shambling gait.
Kubana "Nope Noodle" Kirafiki
3952934
?
No.176581
176585
>>176562
Long and graceful, they make for an excellent display. Kira can see where ponies like Bright Dye would find Neela attractive.

"Do males really like teats? I mean, as far as I know they're just so mammals can feed their young before they can feed themselves."
Anonymous
6072a91
?
No.176583
176585
>>176570
I have awoken.
>>176569
Posey cautiously approaches the tent, her horn glow on the hilt of her sword ready to draw it in case any hobos jump out.
Anonymous
058ba7b
?
No.176585
176586 176587 176588 176633 176634
            [Read more]            
Silver "The Floof" Sword
3952934
?
No.176586
176592
>>176585
"Yes, you have this one that was burned and other that was relatively untouched right across from here."
Kubana "Nope Noodle" Kirafiki
3952934
?
No.176587
176589
>>176585
"Hehe, and I'm guess from that look on your face you have plenty of what the males like?"
Anonymous
d47e4f5
?
No.176588
176589
>>176585
>Inside the tent are two stallions who are examining what seems to be armor.
Cool, what kind of armor?
Posey approaches slowly.
Anonymous
058ba7b
?
No.176589
176590 176591
>>176588
Rusted. Older model. This appears to have been a breast plate.

>>176587
"Plenty" She says, smugly
Anonymous
d47e4f5
?
No.176590
176592 176593
>>176589
>Rusted
Hmm, probably nonmagical.

Do the stallions respond?
Kubana "Nope Noodle" Kirafiki
3952934
?
No.176591
176592
>>176589
Kira continues to giggle.

"Do you think that means I'll be at a disadvantage here with the males? No teats, no rump...I'm pretty strong though, I've got that going for me."
Anonymous
058ba7b
?
No.176592
176595 176596
>>176590
[1d20 = 3]

>>176591
She nods affirmatively
"Mhmmm. And they don't like strength. It scares them."

>>176586
Sure
I don't remember what happened five years ago, but let's go with it
Anonymous
058ba7b
?
No.176593
176594
>>176590
No. They don't know she is there.
Anonymous
d47e4f5
?
No.176594
176598
>>176593
Posey walks right by them and heads towards the quarry.
Kubana "Nope Noodle" Kirafiki
3952934
?
No.176595
176598
>>176592
"Awwww. But that's like my whole thing...well, that and being sneaky. I guess it doesn't change much from my previous mate situation, but still."
Silver "The Floof" Sword
3952934
?
No.176596
176598
>>176592
pet pet pet

We could also just say that the search roll was for both of them since they're just across the hall from each other, if I remember right, and move onto the laboratories. It's up to you.
Anonymous
058ba7b
?
No.176598
176599 176600 176601 176609 176610
            [Read more]            
Anonymous
d47e4f5
?
No.176599
176600 176601 176602
>>176598
"Hmm, not unlike home." Posey says quietly
She walks into the hole, carrying Gloomy behind her.
Anonymous
d47e4f5
?
No.176600
176602
>>176598
>>176599
Wait, are there stairs leading into this hole?
Anonymous
d47e4f5
?
No.176601
176602
>>176599
>>176598
Okay, change of plans, this isn't a stealth mission, so I shouldn't be treating it like one.

"How do you do, gentlemen?" Posey says, in her sing-song voice
Posey appears to be looking past them at the remains they're examining
Anonymous
058ba7b
?
No.176602
176603
>>176599
>>176600
The hole is not one at ground level going down, although I suppose one of those exists somewhere. The hole is what is functionally, but not in design, a doorway. A horizonal entrance to the subterranean level from the quarry walls. There is a ramp leading into the quarry.

>>176601
Which set of gentlemen? I assume the two in the quarry?
Anonymous
d47e4f5
?
No.176603
176604
>>176602
>I assume the two in the quarry?
The ones examining the mummified remains
Anonymous
058ba7b
?
No.176604
176605
>>176603
One stallion is a brown unicorn stallion in a semi fancy vest covered up by an overcoat. The other is a blue unicorn stallion, who is wearing something closer to a rain jacket.

The brown stallion closes his eyes
"Sweet Celestia, another one?"

He has a loud "I'm done with it" sigh, and then,
"Can I help you?"
Anonymous
026ef8d
?
No.176605
176606
>>176604
Posey's first order of business is to charm both stallions with her gaze
DC 19 Will

"It's a pleasure to meet you, gentlemen. I am Rosey Ring, certified necrologist. I have been called here to investigate traces of residual dark magic on this site. I will be doing a tour of magical hotspots in the area. If either of you have encountered anything paranormal on these parts, I would appreciate it you could help me pinpoint the location." Posey says
She glances at the remains
"Equine remains... Well-preserved, but seemingly improperly buried. It looks like it was as I thought.."
Anonymous
058ba7b
?
No.176606
176607 176608
>>176605
The brown stallion closes his eyes and shakes his head, as if hit with a strong light. The blue stallion simply stares at Posey

"There are no paranormal anythings here nor anywhere. Whatever magic was here has dissipated. There are no crystals to hold it. No living beings..."

He looks over to the remains
"Yes. Equine remains. I'm not sure what else you expected. The fact that you are here tells me that you know exactly what this place is, why there would be remains here, and why they are not buried. And you came here dressed up in that ridiculous outfit. By Celestia, you look like you're an actor about to perform in some kind of play set in the ancient era. I'm going to guess that you're with that 'Silver Sword'. That you're one of the mercenaries who were hired by Glass Horizons to clear this place. That, or you're one of his marefriends, who came by because you thought you could steal some artifacts, like he did. Well I'll tell you. There are no more artifacts, and there is certainly nothing 'paranormal' here or anywhere."
Anonymous
026ef8d
?
No.176607
176615
            [Read more]            
Anonymous
026ef8d
?
No.176608
176611 176615
>>176606
>there is certainly nothing 'paranormal' here or anywhere
"If that's really the case, then I guess this shouldn't take very long. I'm doing this as a matter of public service, afterall.. Pardon me, gentlemen." Posey says
"Come along, Gloomy." Posey says, as she proceeds further into the site
Silver "The Floof" Sword
3952934
?
No.176609
176663
>>176598
[1d20 = 20]
Kubana "Nope Noodle" Kirafiki
3952934
?
No.176610
176612
>>176598
Kira scratches her chin.

"Well...there was that one stallion at Customs, Free Rover. He seemed nice."
Anonymous
026ef8d
?
No.176611
176612
>>176608
Posey looks for a way underground, not really worried about her own safety (she'd just throw herself into the pit normally), but a way to less-precariously levitate her child down.
Anonymous
058ba7b
?
No.176612
176613 176614 176652
            [Read more]            
Anonymous
026ef8d
?
No.176613
176615 176653
>>176612
Posey looks around, searching for a way deeper into the underground
"Say... This supposed Silver Sword, what did he look like?"
Kubana "Nope Noodle" Kirafiki
3952934
?
No.176614
176615
>>176612
Rubbing the end of her tail between her hooves, Kira responds, "Well, it wasn't my initial intention when I came here, but...maybe? I dunno, it feels a bit early to be saying that, I mean we literally had only just met, but maybe if we meet up more often and we actually get to know each other then it's something that might be nice to do."
Anonymous
e87acbb
?
No.176615
176616 176618 176625
>>176614
Neela walks over towards the couch and lays down on it, letting her forelegs hang off of it
“Get to know each other? Ha, if you feel like it just go for it. And if you two don’t work then just go your separate ways. It’s not like you’re going to be living with him.”

>>176607
>>176608
“This is an archeological site. You can’t go in there!”

>>176613
Is she actually asking them?
Anonymous
026ef8d
?
No.176616
176617 176625 176653
            [Read more]            
Anonymous
026ef8d
?
No.176617
>>176616
Shid, I should have taken 10.
Kubana "Nope Noodle" Kirafiki
3952934
?
No.176618
176619
>>176615
Kira tilts her head at her deer friend. "Really? That's all there is to it? No courtship or anything?"
Anonymous
e87acbb
?
No.176619
176620
>>176618
Tilting her ears down.
“Do you want courtship? It’s not like you’re getting married to him.”
Kubana "Nope Noodle" Kirafiki
3952934
?
No.176620
176621
>>176619
Kira blushes, and continues rubbing the end of her tail between her hooves. "Well, no, we've only met the once and...I dunno, I don't know how these kinds of things work over here."
Anonymous
e87acbb
?
No.176621
176622
>>176620
She looks away.
“It’s so weird here. They let ponies chose who they marry.” She tilts her head

“Is there a buck you’re supposed to marry back home? Are you afraid he’ll figure out you’re not a virgin?”

She lowers her head and in a hushed tone says
“Or were you already married…”
Kubana "Nope Noodle" Kirafiki
3952934
?
No.176622
176623
>>176621
Kira gets especially blushy at the second question.

"No, no marriage...or 'bucks'..." and, more quietly, "...or mating..." Then, back to her normal volume. "There was one male our families arranged a meeting for, but it didn't work out."
Anonymous
e87acbb
?
No.176623
176624
>>176622
She whispers,
“Did you kill him?”
Kubana "Nope Noodle" Kirafiki
3952934
?
No.176624
176626
>>176623
Kira lets go of her tail to wave her hooves in front of her body. "What!? Oh nononono, of course I didn't. We just really didn't mesh at all and it would have been a bad pairing. He's alright and I wish him the best, but he just didn't really get me and I didn't get him."
Anonymous
026ef8d
?
No.176625
176652
>>176616
>>176615
Do they respond?
Anonymous
e87acbb
?
No.176626
176627
>>176624
“It’s okay, I wasn’t going to tell anyone if you did. You can tell me if you did.” She tilts her head and leans forward, looking at Kira. “I won’t tell anyone. I wasn’t sure if you lamias killed or ate your mates or after mating or… actually, do you do that, and you two just didn’t, you know, mate? We Sangee don’t kill our mates. The ponies definitely don’t. I mean, I did stab a buck once. But he didn’t die. Unfortunately.”

Her eyes go wide and both ears shoot up. Then she sits upright on the couch.
“Wait. You’re still a virgin?!?!”
Kubana "Nope Noodle" Kirafiki
3952934
?
No.176627
176628
>>176626
"No, we aren't like spiders or mantises. It's, well...I imagine it's a lot like with other species, but I don't know for sure. I do know for certain that we don't kill or eat our mates, that would be...whew, there is no stomach big enough for that. Well, maybe one of the jungle lamias or a sea lamia has the stomach for it, but even then still no. I'm curious about that story about you stabbing a buck, though."

At Neela's absolute shock, Kira confirms her worst fears by nodding. "Still a virgin."
Anonymous
e87acbb
?
No.176628
176629
>>176627
“How are you a virgin? gasp. We need to fix that. There must be some pony or… other creature out there who would want you, and not just thing you’re some gross or scary reptile.” A pause. “I don’t think there are any other lamias here. I certainly don’t want to meet one of those ‘jungle lamias’. Maybe I can give you some pointers on how to get a mate.” She pauses again. “Well… maybe you can just be a maiden forever.”
Kubana "Nope Noodle" Kirafiki
3952934
?
No.176629
176630
>>176628
"That would be disappointing, to say the least. I know mom wants to be a grandma someday." She looks at Neela with big ol' pleading lamia eyes. "Can you please give me some pointers on getting a mate?"
Anonymous
e87acbb
?
No.176630
176636
>>176629
“Sure ponies have their own courtship rituals. It’s kind of weird actually. The pony buck is supposed to try to sleep with you, and you’re supposed to turn them down and play hard to get or something, annd generally pretend like you don’t want to even though you also have to let them know you do want them because otherwise they’ll lose interest. And you’re supposed to act all shy and timid and whatever. I think it’s because their courtship is also how they select a mate for marriage, instead of just being normal and have their partners selected by their parents. Honestly the key is to just try to look attractive to them and if they want to and if you want to then do it.”
Anonymous
026ef8d
?
No.176631
176632 176652
Posey should probably find the owner.

I'm going to take a page out of the Chaosium book and roll a flat luck check to see if Posey would have been smart enough to find any information concerning the land owner's name or appearance before coming here.
[1d20 = 6]
Anonymous
026ef8d
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No.176632
176652
>>176631
I guess not.

I guess I'll have Posey slowly back away and move back towards the tents.
Amber Sunset
33e5497
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No.176633
>>176585
"Can't you check on him?" Amber asks worriedly, stressed from everything else that has happened earlier.
Garv Cavaliere
33e5497
?
No.176634
>>176585
"And would they be able to? It's been several years since he has seen them. Postage to Nova Griffonia isn't cheap either and he would be hard-pressed to have stayed in regular contact."
Anonymous
058ba7b
?
No.176635
176651
            [Read more]            
Kubana "Nope Noodle" Kirafiki
3952934
?
No.176636
176637
>>176630
Kira would write this down if she had anything to write with, but she doesn't, and then again what Neela tells her is almost enough to get her head to spin.

"That sounds confusing. You're supposed to pretend you don't want them but you actually do? Why not just say yes? It sounds like it would be infuriating if every female I wanted to court tried to make it as hard as possible, I mean it's hard enough as is especially when you're 'weird' like me. I guess I can act all shy and timid...what do pony males find attractive? And what are they called, are they called bucks or is it something else? I don't wanna screw up and call them something weird."
Anonymous
058ba7b
?
No.176637
176638
2018723.gif
>>176636
"I know right? I guess trying to play hard to get is supposed to make you desirable... somehow... But I think that if you want to have sex with them then just have sex with them, and if you don't, then don't. Of course they say that is 'slutty', or something. Ponies like... well, look at what the pony mares who get attention do. Well groomed manes, petite figure, big butts..." Her eyes go wide

"What are male ponies called?"
Kubana "Nope Noodle" Kirafiki
3952934
?
No.176638
176639
>>176637
Kira shrugs.

"We don't really have separate names for males and females. To us lamias are just either, well, males or females." She scratches her chin with a hoof. "Okay, well groomed mane I can do...not so much petite figure and big butt. Also those seem to contradict each other, how can you be petite while also having a big butt? Why do ponies have to make this so confusing..."
Anonymous
058ba7b
?
No.176639
176640
>>176638
Neela breathes in, then breathes back out.
"Yeah, I can see why you are a virgin. And now that most of your dating pool is ponies, you're not going to do any better. It's bad enough that you're a big, scary, pony-eating monster. But worse... How would a pony even have sex with you? Do you even want a pony?"

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