I have the hunch that I really need relaxation.
Everything I do has something like a goal.
More sports, more reading, more learning, cook better food, eat slower for digestion, go for a walk because you need some daily excercise and you did sports yesterday and need some rest.
More better faster more and even relaxation is like something I have to do to a certain extend in a certain amount of time.
Even when I do something like watch a movie I study acting, writing, culture...
I am pretty sure that I am so stressed that I don't get anything done.
I think the trick is to get some idle games, like wrestling game ISOs and 4x games. Then you can have the game's AI play matches against itself, the whole thing captured and recorded easily. While that's happening, you can do whatever you want. Read, watch anime, exercise, anything.
It's what I do, but I think I need more idle games. So far, I'm just doing Civ V (torrented) and WWE 2k18 (torrented)
>tfw stressed out about being stressed out
I think I figured something out.
I am stressed. Really fucking stressed.
I am stressed about not having an olypic medal and a nobel prize and humanity and myself and everything else and the very opposite of these things.
I am an illiterate fuck for not speaking 5 languages and not having 5 DoXs and being better build than Adonis. I am stressed out about me and all the others, about how things are and how things could be and how things shouldn't be and my perception of this and the meaning of thruth and every other fucking thing you could think of.
I have to do more in less time under harder cirmumstances than everybody else and if I get second place I get last place.
I gotta get burn-out and still deliver at least twice as much as the nr. 1 not only in the current time but in the entirety of human existance.
I can't sleep because of all the stress and when I fall asleepp it is through exhaustion which is a sign of weakness.
The only thigs that bring me solice are long baths and ponies but even then my mind wanders or I gotta study everything for the sake of story-telling or drawing or music or philosophy or anything else.
Maybe it has to do with my childhood or something.
Half memeing here
>please don't leave me momma
>I'll be a good kid
>I'll make you proud
>please love me momma
Maybe this is not the case and it only makes more sense than my last assumption but right now I feel like this fits
How to deal with stress?
Every time I go camping or hiking in the woods I feel like I reset myself.