/sp/ - Football

Dude, just lie. Think up a plausible alternate version of your life, pretend it's real, and stick to it when you're talking to your parents or anyone else who pries into it. If you live away from home, it's pretty easy. Your parents assume you've got a life of your own and you do stuff you don't tell them about, so just embellish it in a way that they'd believe.

Create an imaginary girlfriend "date" her in your mind for a few months, break up with her. Fill in the details, like how many times you've had sex, what her name was, what she was like, etc; make a character out of her. If you feel like you'd be expected to have a few more, create some more imaginary girlfriends, or maybe invent a couple of imaginary hookup bitches. You probably won't have to answer questions about the details, but it's good to have them in your head. Try to aim for convincing your parents you're a fairly normal guy who maybe is a little shy and has bad luck with relationships. Most likely scenario is they'll just give you a few platitudes about how you'll meet the right girl eventually, and the subject won't come up as much because they'll assume you're handling it on your own.

The important thing is to just be consistent, don't embellish so much that it isn't plausible, and don't volunteer information you aren't asked. Just have an imaginary scenario going on inside your head, and whenever you get asked questions about it, answer as if it were real.

Kys yourself to death m8

>>3378
If only we could be so lucky

>>3378
>>3410
Mom, Dad, I'd like you to meet my girlfriend.
>parents look up in surprise
The thing is, she's a horse.
>Dad spits out coffee
And she can talk.
>Mom faints
And she wants to exterminate the Jews.
>Parents stare in blank silence for several minutes
>Dad slaps you on the back
>Good for you, son.

>>3421
kek

>>3421
>>3378

everything went better than expected

>>3421
made me smile

>>3421
The real American Dream

>>3374
Don't listen to normies. They are cancer!

>>3443
>Anon and his horse waifu stories
There must be more of this.

>>3444
cant argue with numbers

>>3443
Hot, moar?

>>3444
They are out there, Anon. It's just that most of the ones we know about end with jail...

>>3374
>>3374
>That's what you're supposed to be doing!
dont whore yourself to bipedal trash

>>4209
I dunno. I'm starting to think that having someone to have sex with is just a part of life. I mean, I'm sort of giving up on the magical love and sex thing.

I want someone to hold and to fuck really bad. Not having that sucks. A lot. I would feel so much more fulfilled and happy. And I know I'm not the only one out there who feels that way. So why feel this lonely emptiness, why deal with this horrible, crippling sadness when I could just go out and find some broad who also doesn't want to be alone? Somebody who wants to fuck and to cuddle just as bad as I do?

I always thought that the whole "a guy/woman has needs" thing was a load of shit, and while I reckon that it's often used that way, I see now that it's about more than just getting your rocks off. It's about the intimacy. Being with someone. It isn't that you have sex, it's that you have sex WITH someone. I need it. Not having it is sending me into depression and loneliness. It's a fucking need, so what does it matter at this point if I get it from a fucking (non-existent) innocent little Christian virgin who wants to wait until marriage, or some fucking college chick who's had like 40 boyfriends and four time as many dicks?

I'm starving for water in a burning desert right now. I'm not going to refuse a glass of water and demand a sealed bottle just because others have had a drink from it in the past. Why should I be averse to glasses of water at all, at this point? Fuck it. Give them to me and I will drink them up.

>>4231
Those "Wymyn" carry diseases in the body and mind. The "DNA sticks inside women and corrupts their genome!" people think that's why sexual degeneracy and sex-crazedness is pushed onto us, but I think it's cultural.

We have within us an energy, and needs to fulfil. But "Fuck someone" isn't a need, "Get satisfaction and recognition and intimate contact" is. Channel your energy into becoming successful and doing something good for yourself, and feel good about doing it. That's how I handle my feelings.

>>4231
Calm down anon, I know of the furry and despair you are going through right now.
Please don't go around fucking anyone, be careful or you will descend into a really dark path, I have been there.

I don't know how to fix this, but I can tell you, you can manage.
Just get some sex at least one time a month, with a prostitute if you have to, then do something full filling to distract you, don't let that feel take.over you, don't make your whole life spin around it.

>>4234
I don't know what to say, may man. What can I do?

>I'm lonely and I crave physical intimacy and someone to be with. I'm so alone it's fucking eating me up inside.
>Oh, well, like, ya know, sex isn't a need man. Just being physically intimate is. So just stop wanting that and do something else with yourself.

OK

>>4237
Yea. Yea, I'm gonna go for a walk. I just gotta stop thinking about things too much, damn. Wew.