The Patriots did not win the Super Bowl, for the Super Bowl cannot truly be won. The Super Bowl is the ongoing battle, the eternal struggle between the forces of light and darkness.
When Tom Brady was cast in bronze and dipped in the river Styx over 9000 years ago, he was imbued with the power of Football, but the Football in him became dark. Then did he go forth into the world and plunder, and he did rape the ponies of the land with non-consensual hoof-holding
and other roguish activities. And John Elway did descend from the heavens and sodomize him most roughly, but Tom Brady escaped and fled to his fortress in the distant mountains of madness, where he lay in slumber for twelve thousand years, biding his time as he waited for his ring of power to return to him.
And return it did, in the form of the almighty Super Bowl ring which has been coveted and fought over since the dawn of time by the almighty Forces of Football. And he did thus ride forth again, summoning his undead minions from the depths of the river Styx, and they did sail away, setting an open course for the Virgin Sea. And as they sailed around the earth for twelve hundred thousand years, wandering the oceans looking for a land called New England, they did learn unholy magic and gain powers of Dark Football most foul. When finally they set foot upon New England, they christened it Old England, but then later changed the name back to New England, and they were neither man nor beast nor ringwraith or whatever I said they were, and they did join their powers and become an army of demonic creatures too horrible to describe. That demon horde became known as the New England Patriots.
This is all high-level initiatory stuff; I really shouldn't even have told you this much.