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/sp/ - Football

Yea, for the Denver Broncos are Football Now and Forever
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Hey Faggots,
My name is John Elway, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are fat, retarded, no-hooves who spend every second of their day not being football. You are everything non-football in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever gotten any horse pussy? I mean, I guess it’s fun making fun of people because of your own insecurities about not being the entirety of football, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than when the Earth was void and without form, and there was no football, because it had not yet been created by me, John Elway.

Don’t be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot. I’m the alpha and the omega, also known as Scootie Puff Sr., the Doom Bringer. I was the inventor of Football, and the creator of the Denver Broncos. What sports have you created, other than “not football”? I also traveled through time to father myself, and have a banging hot girlfriend (She just blew me; Shit was SO oats). You are all faggots who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening.
Pic Related: It’s me and my bitch


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Let me tell you why that's bullshit:


You see, John Elway wasn't always football. There was a time when John Elway was only 29, maybe 33% football. However when the Lord Jesus Christ called him on the phone and said John Elway you need to be 100% football, do you know what he did? Do you think he just laid down and sucked his thumb and cried the way you probably would you pussy? No, fuck no. John Elway took the fucking call and answered.

John Elway was always the man to become football. John Elway was sired by Dan Reeves, born of Rainbow Dash, conceived in fire, Master of Football, Lord of the Denver Broncos now and Forever.

In the Name of Jesus Christ and God Bless American.

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I'm going to leave my football here for a few minutes.
Do NOT do anything with it.


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You bet your ass football. Why, when John Elway was only four years old he married Princess Celestia and brought football to all the ponies of the realm and sent Princess Luna back to the moon with the Oakland Raiders.

You might think you know football, but until you've met John Elway you can never truly comprehend football. That's what's so tragic about it, you can never truly know John Elway for to stand in his presence is to be blinded by the presence of his magnetic hypnocock.

Praise American. Praise football.

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Post some Fluttershy
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U wut, m8?


But that shed is the home of all fluttercucks


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>he brings a forced meme from a metaphorically and physically dead board that literally has a cuckold general
kys yourself fam and make it quick


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You know what goes great with Fluttershy? The Denver Broncos.

Denver Broncos are the best footballing team ever. There is no one on earth who can do footballs as good as the Denver Broncos. Many others have tried and failed to be as football. You think you can football like these guys? Heh, get in line, cuck. You'd need to get up about 12 hours earlier and spend all morning and all afternoon being football to football like the kings of football, the Denver Broncos.

Seriously, faggot. If footballing was the olympics these guys would be like the John Elway of football olympics. The Denver Broncos are the alpha and the omega of all footballs, the footballs that came first and last and shall be evermore the football. They own footballs now and forever. Footballs.

t. Denver Broncos.


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Praise football.

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i watched some historically accurate matches of the /pol/ league cup, John Elway is a good football player.


We should add John Elway to /mlpol/'s roster.


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Who has committed such blasphemy and heresy? I want names.


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Me I did it and I'll do it again.



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Ben, I want to say just one word to you, just one word….. football
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>nigger body on Lord Elway
>BLM/black-nationalist background
Fucking delet this, you heretic!


the original was bill cosby


I knew that. I could tell by the Harlem patterns on his iconic sweater.


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You're damn right football. And do you want to know why? Two words: John Elway.

John Elway was born a pauper to a pawn on a Christmas day when the (((New York Times))) said God is dead, and the war's begun; Dan Reeves has a son today.

And he shall be John Elway, and he shall be a good man.

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What makes a man a Football?
How does a man come to represent Footballs?
If Football, then who?
From thence to whence goeth said Football?
Toward Footballs or away from Footballs?
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The sun is a giant football, and from within the power that is vested thee this football hatch. For this football is also a egg. A egg of football. From this amalgamation of both football and egg will birth a new age called The Big Bang, but more like a kick. The Big Kick actually (the big bang title is reserved for when John Elway does the hanky panky with his with waifu, which he doesn't as he is pure), a really big kick by the way. The biggest kick you and the entirety of the tri-decca multiplex multiverse will ever see. Such a field goal it will be that the tri-decca multiplex multiverse will die, then be reborn again as the footballverse.


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I the stars and planets really were composed of football, then that would indeed make John Elway the father of the father of the Sun, Moon, and stars.
Another thing one might notice is that the path that our solar system's planets follow around the sun is ovular in nature: it resembles not only the shape of a football, but that of a football field as well. This is caused by the gravitational "flick" effect, the spacial equivalent of a quarterback receiving a football and casting it back across a field. The act of moving the football back and fourth across the field is a reenactment of John Elway's revelation of the notions of footballic harmony.
Like the ancient denbtniggers once wrote:
"Of John Elway we are told that he was the first to understand, by diligent attention and observation, the movement of both the sun and the moon and the other footballs, and the seasons as well, in that they are caused by these footballs, and to make these facts known to others; and that for this reason he was called the father of these footballs, since he had begotten, so to speak, the speculation about them and their nature."


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But if footballs are the fundamental particle from which all existence is built, AND the entire cosmos is its self a Football, AND John Elway was the first to conceive and understand Football and is therefore the father and progenitor of Football, then naturally John Elway is Football and Football is John Elway.
The question that springs to me then, is:
How can there ever have been a time at which John Elway, whether in the form of Man or Football (its self a polarized duality!) did NOT exist?


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Setting John Elway aside for a moment, one cannot neglect the third phase of Football. There is Football and Footballs, there is John Elway, and there is the Denver Broncos. No individual Bronco is themselves Football, they are but a piece of a whole Football, and that Football is John Elway. If all the Denver Broncos got together, would they be Football? Of course! It is through this method that the Denver Broncos came to manifest! How else do you think John Elway was able to spread Footballs throughout the cosmos?
So completes the Bowly Trinity:
John Elway the Father
Football the Son
The Denver Broncos the Hoovy Spirit
Merry Equestrian


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I agree, existential dilemmas are fucking weird. You know what else is weird? The fact that there are still people on this earth who don't bow down and worship the almighty majesty of Denver Broncos quarterback John Elway.

John Elway was born in December over 1000 years ago, in a time before there was time, because football is time and this was a time without football. It was a dark time, obviously, since football is light and light is friendship and friendship is magic.

Then, Dan Reeves did befriend and seduce the Lady Dash, and came inside her, and she burst forth a football, who was the football for all time, John Elway. And John Elway did proclaim himself to be football and exploded into football and then there was football for all time.

Praise Jesus Christ and Praise Football (praise football). Praise American.

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Mods are asleep, post rare Shalits.
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can gene shalits beard live without him


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Have you ever unironically wondered what it would be like to have Gene Shalit lick your butthole?


Don't we already have another thread about this?


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Shhhh, of course we don't. All content on this board is original and relevant.


The warmth of his breath would be felt on your butthole, followed by soft tickles from his mustache and a sudden soft, warm sensation would fondle your most privated area, making you instinctively flinch; The soft tickles of his moustache on your skin and his skilled tongue toying with your hole are to much for you to resist, you give up to the pleasure, resting your chest on the matress, letting a soft moan escape. He now stick his tongue in, leaving your hole gaping, asking for more.


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What the title says. Also we post the most degenerate thing we do, not a list of degenerate things we do irl. And I posted this here on /sp/ since this isn't political enough I feel for /mlpol/.

Here goes mine:

> I wear tights in private since they are comfy as fuck and I have a fetish for them however I only wear them in private and I'm not a trap nor a cross-dresser.
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I wath anime sometimes without the lights on.


I bet you sit less than one foot away from the TV as well. Enjoy going blind you degenerate faggot.


This is of the utmost degeneracy. You should feel ashamed of yourself!


I sometimes rp as a fag, it's too easy to get dem homos horny.


That's pretty gay, m8…

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>Not dumping first.
Come on, m8. This isn't /r/…


Can the pink one steal Milky's crotchtits gimmick? The artist hasn't made any lactation content in months, he's too busy "Canonizing" well-paying OCs and "Ironically mocking" how badly he sold out.


Both Milky and Bundle could encompass lactation niches, although Bundle's lactation is due to pregnancy.


OP, so help me, I'm not posting any more until you dump. You can remote-upload up to five files at once, so fucking find something.


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I would fire in her hole , if you know what I mean.


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… Really though..


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Can I save this one to?


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about time you cleaned that filthy pickle of yours


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That's right, Candyass! Go! Go and play with your pickle!

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