/sp/ - Football

>>25516
Not bait, notification. This thread requires no bumping. I'll even try to remember to sagepost

>>25518
Not sure (yet) which one you are, but let me explain
>doxxing
Go ahead, it will avail you nothing except awkward details.
>swatting
It might work, if you're quick about it, but I'm close friends with the Captain of the local volunteer fired department, and HE knows about Mlpol (sorry) so good luck making that stick.
Next? I'm just saying, I don't know what more one could throw, I'm outside the range of off-hand deliveries

>don't you ALREADY have a containment thread?
Technically Addy does, but that's themed. This is /sp/ where there's no rules but Football

<An iffin yer fixin fer a testament te John Elway and the Denver Broncos, well sit tight, cuz yer about te git an earful.
Ots well established that John Elway is himself 100% of Football, as well that the Denver Broncos are 100% Football. This raises a quandry, as the implication is that there is separation between John Elway and the Denver Broncos. This is an illusion, meant to trick people who are not Football. The reality is that John Elway is but one side of the coin that is Football, the other side being the Denver Broncos. While confusing, it is the truth that John Elway and His Denver Broncos will dominate/control Football for all time - maybe not in a temporal sense, but in a lasting sense - and his will is made bare. Case in point! Oh, he certainly didn't plan this, but it is Football, so fuck off. ^_^

It would NOT make me cry if this thread is bump-locked. I know how /sp/ works, the odds of sliding off would only be subject to an off-boarder raid, and I know the site software well enough to know that in the deletion of such a raid everything will be restored. Assuming they would have the presence of mind to raid /sp/ of all things, lol.

This is for the audience. While my address to site staff is on another device (I can get to it if I really wanted, but meh) allow me to introduce myself similarly.

In that 9/10ths of the law is possession, I own the board. What I mean is, if you know, you will likely be aware that I account for over half the posts (since coming back) on this entirety of boards (excluding the thing, again iykyk). Ergo, this board is mine. Anyone wishing to contend/contest is welcome to do so, I encourage it. In the meantime, I will make no illusions of the fact that I am (and always was, if you check the logs) the most prolific poster on the board, and consider this 'place' as something precious to be defended.
Someday someone in a position of authority is likely to censure me - a judge or magistrate, one assumes - but for now I'm one of those clever bastards who learns to paint just enough inside the lines to avoid lasting consequence.
Atlas once said "You don't get to treat the board like it's yours" and I have dutifully maintained that. However, he said that of inapplicable considerations, and those 'inapplicable considerations' are not what precipitates (or even moderates) my course of action.
Trust me, its gonna get silly.

This thread was first contemplated (you think there's a lack of deliberation? Randomness perhaps?) to occur in the hidden place, but that's not near auspicious enough is it? Besides, that should remain a sekret for more savvy anons.
Nono, this is a VERY off-topic thread that can only exist in the off-topic board. Have you heard my plan to go viral on the internet? Lol, you'll see; everyone I've told it to says "That... will probably work actually". It involves harnessing the sausage-potential of "furry trash" ^_~
What about "this was deliberate" was ambiguous? You think I'm gonna choke up any OTHER board with furry trash? I already pushed the line in /vx/ AND the one mainboard thread! I may not seem to, but I do sometimes know my place.

>sausage-potential
Lol, the gift that keeps on giving

The word of the day is "Temerity", referring to a general demeanor of audacity and an almost pompous disregard for offending the audience.
As in, "Anon has the temerity to post this way because circumstances have changed to such a beneficial (and irrevocable) degree that he is wantonly defiant of consequence, given his existing/developing strategy; he acts invulnerable because in a sense he is."

Add a ponut fagget

>>25526
I'm sure you can manage on your own

When referring to contention and contestation of my possession of the board, what is meant is that this place used to have alot more life to it, and it's comprehensible as to why it is in the state that it is. Still, if life is desired to return to the board, then I have zero problems doing my part to assist in functioning as life-support. It's no doubt annoying to some, but the fact of the matter is that I can and I'm gonna. I'll be transferring content from /mlp/ and other areas shamelessly and without providing direct links to any of those places. And that's before video recording, which whether haters or fans will be drawn HERE. Not at first of course, after it builds.

Two sentenses in and I still don't know what this thread is about.

>>25545
Oh, you SAY that

>>25545
The fact that you attempted to bemuse me with flutter-faggotry tells me more or less which one you are.
Apologies, I forget which thread I posted the following follow-up thats about to be forth-coming.
Amakakeru Ryu no Hirameki
If you don't know, it's a shitty anime-technique. But technically, it isn't.
The technique involves thrusting the sword (as per previous instruction) as though a spear, set to a charge. The right hand covers the left in an almost pensive stance. Right foot and right hand forward, left hand back.
Assuming one's iaijutsu is proper, then one's "interlocutor" dies swiftly.
You're welcome

>>25553
This gets into why iaijutsu is weak to battoujutsu; the former thinks that the 'exchange' will end in the first strike. Battoujustsu involves killing everyone regardless of who survives the first exchange

I said what I came to

>>25563
*poseidon*
Y'all are are about to learn. No no, just pretend

Should I comment? Bot kun has wherewithall.

Is staff going to do their job? Yes, Im not asking permission

>>25553
You identified me well. But it looks like you struggled with Nigel so much that you became the Nigel. Please have a coffee

>>25581
While we both know that isn't objectively true - for example, I maintain no illusions of being a competent author - your point is noted, and it would serve me and others well for me to be more mindful of how I come across. Having said, shitposting has been my bread and butter since decades before it was even termed shitposting, and a whole lot of doors have opened up.to enable me to shitpost at a magnified level, and I see no reason not to. Xp

🛡️ The Oath of the Zero-Waste Paladin
(Recited at dawn, before the sourdough starter is fed and the fridge is judged.)

“I, Defender of the Wilted, Squire of the Scraps, solemnly swear to uphold the Sacred Law of Leftovers. I shall let no broccoli stem perish in vain, nor toss the heel of a bread loaf without giving it a dramatic final toast.”

Tenets of the Oath:

Thou Shalt Revere Thy Vegetable Ends
If thou peeleth a carrot, thou better freeze the peel and whisper “stock potential” before ye discard it.
To throw out onion skins is heresy. Burn them in sacrifice... or, you know, make broth.

Honor Thy Ancient Dairy
If cheese be moldy, thou shalt simply trim the blight and carry on.
Yogurt with a best-by date from the previous fiscal quarter? Stir and pretend.

No Skin Shall Be Left Behind
Banana peels are now tacos. Potato skins are luxury chips. Apple cores? Tea.
Do not question it. The Paladin does not waste, only reinvents.

Blessed Be the Stale
All breads shall find second life as croutons, bread pudding, or punitive French toast.
If it cracks when bent, it is ripe for redemption.

Thine Freezer is Sacred
If thou hath doubts, freeze it.
This includes wine dregs, half onions, guilt, and emotional baggage about cooking for one.

Garnish With Righteousness
Do not serve a meal without a garnish of smugness and a rehearsed TED Talk about nose-to-tail sustainability.
If guests try to throw anything away, smite them with a compost ladle.

Final Vow:

“I shall ride forth, armed with beeswax wraps and a tote bag, battling the Evil Forces of Single-Use Convenience. I shall convert all waste into something vaguely edible or at least decorative. If the meal tastes bad, it is because the Earth demanded sacrifice, and I am but its humble, dehydrated servant.”

So...will this thread be separate from the pub thread? If you wish to append more activity to the board, perhaps there is a series of subjects or special interests you can explore with other Anons?
I try to post more in the /trash/ bunker thread but it doesn't bump/appear when it ought to.

>>25762
Hue hue, this thread is a personal project. You'll see, soon.
But no, this isn't technically related to the good poners of /trash/, we just happened across paths around the same time. No no, this is ALL me

>>25763
Aye? I'm curious as to what said project shall entail.
How have you and Adeline been?

>>25765
Preparing the most-extra lasagna ever conceived by an internet autist, who is themselves attempting to eviscerate Youtube "conventional" culture about food.
You asked
We have 4/7 sauces, and upon realizing that Bolognese can be made with chicken, in the same sense that demi glace can be prepared by chicken.
The biggest hangup (aside from people deciding to eat the sauces e_e) is giving the sauces enough time to "marry".
If you've ever eaten spaghetti the day after, you might understand how sauces need time to properly "meld". What SHOULD HAVE been a couple-day process has turned into a multi-week process.
All in good time tho, I made the mental leap to try and camp on Nanahira for BGM
https://youtu.be/9KNLxb3Xxdw?si=AAhHQH1h0-Ag96JG

>>25766
Bully for you. If I were to go this route, I would attempt a perpetual stew, or in the least one that could last far longer than what most would offer. Once upon a time, inns from the Mediaeval period added trace amounts of poison to such meals so as to temporarily blind unruly guests.

>>25767
Well, (VERY eager to discuss) the biggest frailty amongst most professional/established internet chefs is that they're too fucking vanilla. I mean yes, having mentioned, the "classic" recipe for bolognese involves beef minsce and maybe pork. Yes yes, hundreds of years and all the tradition.
When were you going to try making it spicy or something?
But, it's too late for that.
<Oh dear
You know what? I'm SO arrogant that I'll tell you exactly what I have planned.

The lasagna will be largely pre-made. Excepting the mournay sauce, all sauces will be pre-prepared and frozen/thawed. Sorry, I have a family that has to eat in between my internet shenanigens.
The "bottom" layer (take note) is going to be a thin amount of Sugu de Basilico, possibly augmented with corn granules.
>corn
One, to over-emphasize a meme that some invoked recently, but also to serve as an expendible trivet-sort of accessory. Scrape it off, into the trash, thanks you.
Happy memorial day btw. I wasn't intending to make it dark. Ooops.
For two,....
After the 'base' layer of basil red-sauce and corn, we begin to structure the actual lasagna.
Here's the order:
Bolognese (chicken/pork)
Genovese (short rib)
Bianco (chicken/oxtail)
Zozzona (pork sausage with TOO MANY jalapenos)
This is in a parchment-lied square cake pan

That is what will be cooked in the cake-pan, but that's also to be more or less frozen and divided. The cake-pan is sqyuare, but we want a cake/cube.
So, When the thoroughly layered lasagna has calmed it's tits, it can be cut into 4 triangles, which when STACKED (with a generous layer of Neopolitano, a parmesean twuile, and the crumbs of salted chicken-skin.
That already inconceivably arrogant dish would then be coated in basil red-sauce, as though to resemble a cube. Then, piped/whipped ricotta adorns the angles, as though to resemble a cake. A chiffonade of basil, and the larger flakes of the chicken skin. Oh, a bruniose of shallots in pickle-brine, like pearls.

BGM, because I'm shameless, and trying to get the reactionary youtubers to wanna pop off
https://youtu.be/_bp8NX7BAB0?si=KqEWV46mzlOhQg6A

>>25768
Pardon me, but have you ever consulted Michelin Star criteria or investigated regional variants of dishes (.e.g. pasta?) I think that while the Internet is graciously profuse with its incessant flow of easily accessible information, it too provides a glut of so-called content creators that care more for views than authenticity. I would think that online chefs are present more for merchandising and sponsorships from media advertisement firms than they are honing their craft with the amount of passion you appear to convey.
That written, I find that classic recipes are to be preserved and perpetuated not only because they're timeless (and tasty,) but also due to their being cultural artefacts.
>When were you going to try making it spicy or something?
>yallsfoodaintgotnoseasoning.wma
I have nothing against experimenting or adjusting ingredients to better reflect the tastes of you and yours. In fact, I think a useful practise among chefs is to share secrets, communicate innovations and even exchange plates so one may not only judge by merit of said ingredients but also the means by which such meals are prepared.
>Excepting the mournay sauce, all sauces will be pre-prepared and frozen/thawed.
Absolutely no shame in this. Many commercial kitchens and restaurants can and will use shortcuts when they can.
>Zozzona (pork sausage with TOO MANY jalapenos)
I wonder if there are recipes that call for habaneros or banana peppers.
>That already inconceivably arrogant dish
What inspired you to make the dish this complicated? By no means will I attempt to stymie your vision, but how would you account for the multitude of flavours the lasagna will load upon one's tongue? Is each serving to be eaten in sections? Would you provide a palate cleanser (think sherbert) so your kin may appreciate every considered aspect of the food?

Forgot to post some music I'd like to share. The links you'd posted remind me of this.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dU2w4xvlu5k

>>25770
>it too provides a glut of so-called content creators that care more for views than authenticity
I couldn't agree more. Every one of those sauces is one I've prepared before and have refined both to add a special touch to each individually, and the stacking is a deliberate sequence of flavors and textures. It's meant to be eaten in sequence, OR in pairs, or all together, however the person prefers, and the flavors are INTENDED to be pronounced and distinctive.
It's beautifully and deliberately insane, and something no traditionalist would ever attempt.
>What inspired you to make the dish this complicated
Leftovers lol, and many rewatches of Food Wars
>palate cleanser
Filtered water? It's BYOB
Unless they want some malort

>>25772
Do you have anything intended for dessert? I wouldn't be surprised if anyone could eat much after such a large meal, but I have a feeling that raspberry torte cake or some zesty lemon bars with powdered sugar would round out the experience fairly well.
I'm also trying to envision the ambience that would best suit an undertaking of this variety - in my mind, it's rustic and the lighting is dim, with the lasagna as a centrepiece.
Do you have a favourite Food Wars episode? I don't have a television set, else I'd have that on while building plastic models. That or something that can sufficiently short-circuit my brain, like Pawn Stars.

>>25773
>dessert
Lol no, my family has the exclusive privilege of knowing what my food creations taste like, that's all they're getting.
Did I mention that for the classic youtube/instagram "Money shot", I'm going to shoot the lasagna with a shotgun, with a POV camera?

>>25773
Oh right, Food Wars.
There are alot of good ones, but if I had to pick ONE, probably the episode where he goes against Etsuya Eizen, making the chicken-wing gyoza.
But, nothing compares to the entire group shokugeki series. Even season 5 when the author started taking liberties with the "gimmicky" shit, its still a great series that underscores that rigidity should always give way to innovation

>>25774
>Did I mention that for the classic youtube/instagram "Money shot", I'm going to shoot the lasagna with a shotgun, with a POV camera?
Why? Doesn't that seem fairly wasteful given the amount of time and effort going into making this recipe? I understand the notion of over-the-top and aggressive resistance towards trends, but using a twelve gauge to destroy a cake pan full of lasagna is surreal.
>>25775
I might have to load up an episode. I honestly wish I could ask an AI video generator to make a nonsensical Diners, Dives and Drive-Ins episode. Something involving molasses and fire ants would be amusing whilst I get subtly high off of polymer-bonding adhesives in a poorly ventilated room next to sprues of polystrene and side cutters.

>>25776
<He bought?
>wasteful
First off, I have animals, so any appearance of waste is purely for show.
But yes, the whole point IS the shock and awe. So many youtubers build up their plating and presentation - sometimes with fucking tweezers (cuz THATS practical) - and then tease the audience with the tasting, as though anyone on the one side can but imagine.
So, as the audience is gearing up for THAT,... I remove it from the face of the earth (violently, and in slow motion) never to be tasted by man.
Literally and expressively "For the Gods!"
And no, just paper plates for the plating and presentation

I'm a Luciferian Pagan. This isn't a video, this is a ritual to amuse the Gods

>>25777
>a ritual to amuse the Gods
On this point, that's central to my choice of sauces. It's the "4 classic" Ragus, accompanied by the amalgamation of the 4 classic roman pasta sauces."
It's a statement of "Okay, this is the best you traditionalists have to offer? I'll take ALL of it, and combine into something that works for reasons you COULDN'T IMAGINE, and the only way you can prove me wrong is to make it yourself."

I plan to trigger several individuals and groups at interval. During the Lasagna assembly video, I'm going to break and discard an entire box of angel-hair. He knows why

How much Ninjaz lore is there? It just keeps going.

>>25780
Known?

Thats not an attempt to be cheeky, it's a legitimate question; I didn't arrive on 4chan until the '15 primaries but there's plenty of archived internet shit (including the best rendition of the Terranigma credits), if one is interested and ingenuitive (or I tell them where to look). I've led charity groups, I wrote a newsletter for a while, have owned several successful businesses, was the terrifying foreman of the largest 1" board-production operation on the west coast,... and now I'm here.

>>25782
I meant to say "unsuccessful"

>>25782
Where will your exploits take you next (besides YouTube), and why do you want infamy?

>>25785
>next
I'll be content to be able to reach through Youtube to bother specific people occasionally, alongside their adjacent audience. I'm not interested in an audience beyond people making great jokes in the comments (shitposts and shitposters which, there will be ample fodder for).
>why infamy
Because I DON'T want to be associated with famous people, but I DO want to have rustled enough jimmies to be recognizable, if that makes sense. And by recognizable, I mean the fursona; my actual appearance changes semi-regularly.
The youtube channel is eventually going to involve a fully-functional food-truck, and every MLP/furry convention I can feasibly drive to, so who knows how crazy it will get.

>>25786
No doubt you're aware, but there is a balance of rustled jimmies. If you rustle too many they'll start to come for your head (personal life). Do you have a way to balance it, or do you not care whether or not they go after you? I'm interested to hear your approach given that openly being a furry essentially puts you on hard mode.

>>25788
>there's a balance of rustled jimmies
One I intend to test, yes
>they'll come for you
I hope they do, there's an assortment of arms (of both kinds) who would enjoy it
For opsec reasons, I can't explain my confidence, but it's quite priced in.

Understand, I'm on speaking terms with the local sheriff. There's been mention of "pissing off liberals, and getting the swat team" called

>>25789
Kek you're quickly becoming my favorite poster, it never ends with you. When you make the leap to YouTube will you plug your channel on here and /trash/ or do you want to build it from the ground up with no shilling whatsoever?

>>25791
>it never ends with you
<Ye 'ave naur idear
>plugging myself, the site, /trash/ etc
I doubt that will be necessary. Those who are savvy will find their way, and I imagine KiwiFarms and others will get involved, just cuz it will be funny (even if you're laughing at, rather than along with)

I mean, I don't know if you noticed, but I'm probably the first (aspiring) lolcow with the presence of mind to OP their own indictment far-enough in advance that no one can really complain even.

>>25792
I'll keep an eye out for it. Do remember to get around to pierogi, I need it.
>>25793
You may be more autistic than me.

>>25794
Pierogi is guaranteed. I'd be doing it already if my brothers hadn't eaten all the Oxtail bolognese

This is something I'll go into detail in during my content, but you don't just "Make" and then "Serve" a sauce.
Have you ever had leftovers? Huh, tasted better didn't it? Thats cause sauces have to marry. 1 day is good, but for tomato/meat-sauces, you need 3-5 days. Like, a day before it goes bad. You want residual fermentation, you want the sugars to start breaking down and shit,....

So when these niggers ate the fuckign bolognese,... REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>>25794
>You may be more autistic than me
Its a mix of autism and sociopathy; this isn't the sort of plan/aspiration/agenda that a 'well adjusted' person would look at and think "That's a good idea!".

I am NOW back on track with the oxtail bolognese. This may sound retarded, but understand the timeframe.
The Bolognese in question takes about 12 to 14 hours to cook. Okay, so like a brisket or something?
No. Because with a brisket you don't need passata (tomato sauce); why does that matter? Because when you make passata it takes 3 days for the flavors to properly blend, and it will take another 2-3 days for the Bolognese to blend, assuming one ISN'T being silly and letting the smoked bell peppers sit for 2 days (which, of course I am).
And I'm the only one with keys to the house Im doing all my cooking in

The harrowing aspect of it all is that even if I land ALL the sauces, I only have basically one shot at the lasagna preparation, and I know of no more ambitious of one than what I have in mind. If I fuck up the lasagna prep, that will set me back a month.
But I won't fail, I'm scared of what happens when it works
https://youtu.be/i8CqSKbsJ98?si=z8z_hmrfBEe761aF

On the docket for today, $50 worth of cheese