/poner/ - Ponies

>>7486
Is this weird enough for you? It's certainly silly enough for me. I can post the real thing here thanks to the more generous file size limit.

I'll overwhelm the thread if I keep posting, so I guess this is all for now. It's based on the end of this story:
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/564117/3/sexier-short-stories-with-particularly-pregnant-ponies/bug-shy

It's huge, so here's the full quality:
https://derpibooru.org/images/3595858
https://twibooru.org/3507483
https://ponybooru.org/images/3818522
https://ponerpics.org/images/7228837

>Be the Mistress of Manipulation
>The Duchess of Deception
>The Mother of Harlots!
>Queen Chrysalis! Ruler of the changeling hive!
>"Alright, Chryssi, I'm headed out. Be good!"
>The order is immediately followed by the shutting of the front door
>The human has finally left to his pathetic job
>Now's your chance to-
>"Mom?"
>Oh, for hive's sake
>"Mom?"
>You raise your head from its immensely comfy spot on the floor and poke it out from beneath the couch to see your drone's blank blue eyes staring back in your general direction
>"Mom?"
"What?" You bark
>"What are we-" She pauses to take in a deep breath, "-gonna do today,-" Another breath, "-Mom?"
>You groan again and restrain the urge to bury your face in your hooves
"Use your spiracles, Drone."
>"Oh yeah!"
>The drone takes a stance, and a faint whistling can be heard, the tell-tale sign of a changeling taking a proper breath
>"Thanks, Mom!"
>You roll your eyes as you drag yourself out from beneath the couch
>Your drone speaks up again as you're stretching your stiff chitin
>"What are we gonna do today, Mo-"
"The same thing we do every day, Drone." You interrupt
"We're going to play the 'don't talk until Anonymous returns home' game."
>"Oh..." The drone slumps dejectedly
>The sight nearly makes you take pause
>She usually loves that game
"Explain your reaction, Drone."
>"Well, it's just..."
"Go on."
>"I thought we'd do something special for Dad today."
"He's not your father. And even if he were, why would we do anything 'special'?"
>The drone's eyes widen in a silent gasp
>"C-cause it's..." She sniffs and casts her gaze to the floor
>"It's Dad's birthday..."
>You give her a disdainful look
>The human's doing, no doubt
>He's been filling your drone's susceptible mind with the most inane "knowledge"
"Changelings don't celebrate days of birth, Drone."
>"But Dad's not a changeling. He's a monkey."
"Human." You correct
>You'd never admit it, but your drone had a point
>And knowing ponies, he'd be getting love and admiration poured onto him all day
>How wasteful
>They should be pouring all that delicious love onto you!
>Maybe...
>You smile to yourself as your superiorly strategic mind swirls up a superb scheme
"At attention, Drone. I've made a royal decision."
>She instantly straightens up, putting on the most serious face she can muster
"We're going to bake a cake."

-=-=-

>You glare menacingly at the tome before you
>Somehow, through all your years as Queen, you've never seen a script like this before
>Perhaps it's in code?
>"Mom, what's an angel?"
>You look at your drone who is buzzing in midair beside you to see the book, her legs dangling freely beneath her
>You'll have to remember to add proper flight technique to her training regimen
"A what? Where did you hear that?"
>"Right there."
>She points at the book lying open on the counter
>"Annngeeel...fooood...cake!"
>She scratches her head
>"Who would eat a cake made out of angel food?"
>You furrow your brow at your subject
"You read human?"
>Your drone nods ecstatically
>"Dad's been teaching me! He says I'm a really good learner."
>Hmph
>At least he's showing her something almost useful
>You slide the book to sit in front of her
"Read out the instructions, Drone." You order as you use your magic to open up various cabinets
>"Okay!"
>She floats a bit closer to the page, focusing intently on it
>"O-one...cuuup...fuh-fluh-floor. One cup floor!"
"Flour."
>This might take longer than you thought

-=-=-

"Next?"
>"Um, now it says to add the rest of the sugar."
>You levitate the bag of sugar and grumble when you feel how light it is
>Hmm...
>Maybe you could substitute it?
>You dig through the pantry but find nothing suitable
>Something sweet, something sweet...
>Aha!
>You levitate the measuring cup in front of your muzzle
>Turning your face downwards, your body starts jerking forwards, the sound of heavy dry heaving escaping the bottom of your throat
>After about five minutes of this, you finally start drooling out a thick purple slime into the cup
>You haven't had to make royal jelly since your last brood
>How long has it been?
>"Uhm, Mom?" Your drone says once you've finished spewing out jelly
>"I-I don't think you should be spitting in Dad's food."
"Nonsense."
>You dump the jelly into the mixing bowl
"He should be honored that I'm willing to spend what little love I have on his silly little birthday."
>Your drone looks at you skeptically
>You glare in return
"Next."

-=-=-

>You shut the oven door and sit back on your haunches with a huff
>Who knew baking would be such toil?
>"Mom?"
"Hm."
>"Why do they call it oven when you of in the cold food of out hot eat the food?"
>...
>Don't hit your drone, don't hit your drone...

>>9604

>"Chryssi! Dot! I'm home!"
>"Dad!" The drone zooms into the human's arms, the two hugging each other tightly on impact
>"How're my little lovebugs doing?" Anon beams
"I told you not to call us that." You sneer as you enter from the kitchen
>Anon quirks a brow as you levitate the cake into his hands, the drone clambering onto his shoulders to let him hold the dessert
>The final product is coated in black frosting with shaky green lettering that's supposed to read "HAPPY BIRTHDAY" in human text
>You had to have the drone write it out
>"Did you guys, make this for me? That's...wow. Just...thank you."
>Anon's usual chipper smile widens even further
>You can taste the gratitude pouring off of him
>Close, but not quite what you're after
>You pretend to examine a hoof nonchalantly
"A queen always knows how to treat her subjects. The real question is if subjects know how to treat their queen..."
>You coyly present a cheek to him
>Anon rolls his eyes
>"I guess it's only fair, my Queen."
>Anon leans in and plants a smooch on your cheek
>You can't help but let out a nymphish chirping as the love floods your system with it's warm tingling
>Anon balances the cake on one arm and uses the other to pull you into an embrace, making your cheeks flush
>Human love always seems to make you act like a larva
>"Thank you, Chryssi. Really. This means a lot."
>You roll your eyes and look away to hide your blushing
"You humans are just as bad as ponies with your...your stupid love."
>Anon chuckles and hugs you tighter before giving you another kiss on the cheek
>Maybe living here isn't all that bad

Did somepony say bugs?

>>9617
Yes, and all I have to offer is this fairly old video

>>9644
Noice.

>>9617
You kind of can't have a thread like this, without an image like this.

>>9655
That literally reminds me of the Alien movie.
REEEEEEEEEEEE.

BUGS!?

Moar bugs.

Let's save some bugs!

Narration limitations:
- Equus races, like changelings, are potential allies, they are not an enemy for X-COM.

`test`
```test```
test
[c]test[/c]

>>9675
use ['s
Aye? I! (like html, a closing /']'
Bee? B!

For the rest, do you see the word 'options' in the upper right? Choose that dialog popup thing, and then in it, choose heading
I meant help
or green

Anyone remember this guy from the old /bug/ threads?
https://vocaroo.com/1dMgGapSoVx7

>>9644
>anthro
Ew get that shit out of my face!

>>10669
what's with hates on anthro?
scared to sound like a furrie?