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File: 1547226820046.jpg (1.83 MB, 2931x2155, 1510544550132 - Copy - Cop….jpg)

423fe No.197769

So I'm writing this fanfic, two characters are playing a card game, and one just created an infinite loop within that game.
Should I show the loop happening three times, ten times, or 1488 times before eventually letting some deus ex machina/one character surrendering end the game, and by extension, the infinite loop?

52eea No.197773

File: 1547228283453.png (Spoiler Image, 436.38 KB, 543x596, spoiler.png)


423fe No.197910

File: 1547250931749.png (56.16 KB, 882x676, InfiniteLoopsEatUrHeartOut.png)

Not joking.

348a8 No.197926

File: 1547254523516.gif (3.37 MB, 688x600, 1542798764066.gif)

>>197769
Nigel…

6fb46 No.197928

>>197769
Okay, so the obvious first question is: is this fic that fucking long just to take the piss out of whatever weeb card game this is?

The second question is: are you mad?

c6bf4 No.197954

Damn it Nigel…
Just…
Fucking damn it

c4787 No.197964

File: 1547261863268.png (165.36 KB, 847x613, Sing my song and become no….png)

>Background Pony is a highly regarded fanfic.
>Background Pony at one point repeats the same exact phrase two hundred and fifty-seven times in a row.
>Therefore, to produce a better fic than Background Pony, you should repeat this exact loop at least two hundred and fifty-eight times.

2f17e No.197999

File: 1547273961842.jpg (126.35 KB, 800x333, Untitled-1.jpg)

>>197910
Yo nigga
I know you like to write, but no one is going to read that shit.
Honestly, no one is going to read more than one page of a fanfic if it's not interesting.
Quality > Quantity
I bet you can't write a 10 pages fanfic that's actually good, why don't you try it and prove me wrong?

3fbb9 No.198046

>>197999
This, it's an honest word of advice and citicism.

Having needlessly long text isn't good. Richness can be a good thing to illustrate important scenes, but if you go overboard and write too many words, you'll only waste your time.
I used to be into writing a bit myself, and I struggeled with the exact same problem.
As practice, you should try to write stories with intentionally low word counts; see how much you can creativity describe in as little text as possible. Setting time limits for yourself is also a good mode of practice.
>>197769
And to answer your question, do not under any circumstances just write the same crap over and over again because it repeats. Doing that would be confusing and frustrating to your audience, and really just a waste of time for both parties. If you make your reader feel like they've wasted their attention span, they might decide it's not worth reading.
Figure out a way to describe what's happening without making your reader read the same lines over and over. If you want to put some repetition in to build the scene (if it's supposed to be especially tense), you should put something in between each mention to build it up.
You could plausibly explain what's going on in only a few sentences, it a short paragraph. The real question is how much imagery you want to invest in this scene, and how you want to go about illustrating it.

3fbb9 No.198050

>>198046
>>197769
Also, what exactly is the significance of this 'infinite loop' supposed to have on the scene? What kind of feeling or message are you trying to convey.
When you said, 'infinite loop', I was reminded of the scene in Fahrenheit 451 where Guy Montag is trying to read a single line from the Bible but keepsbeing distracted. That scene had some interesting use of word-by-word repition, particularly because it was intentionally written to frustrate the reader like Guy Montag was. But still, you would see that between those repeated lines, there was something different at every increment that showed that there was a passage of time: a distraction from the focus, communicating the torment of the protagonist to the reader in not being able to get past a single line in a book.
Repition can be a useful tool in creative writing, but simply writing the same crap over and over isn't helping anyone. If you want to be a better writer, try reading some examples similar to the work your trying to create, and see how other authors used their literary elements.

423fe No.198168

>>197928
>is this fic that fucking long just to take the piss out of whatever weeb card game this is
It's that long to take the piss out of the notion that length always equals quality. But it's doubly brilliant because it is also high-quality and long, except for this scene, which out-lengths every story on Wikipedia's list of long stories.
>are you mad
I don't know any more. After all, tons of crazy people think they're the only sane people in crazy worlds. But I know other sane people, so we're all probably sane. Probably.
>>197954
Nigel's the guy on 4chan's /v/ who posts "Fuck you barneyfag!" whenever someone posts a MLP pic on a board he frequents. I'm King Silverstar Thundercock Battlebrit.
>>197964
You make sense.
>>198050
Protagonist is going to be executed unless he wins a battle to prove his innocence, because the trial was also rigged. Long story.
He's a total fucking weeb (It's funny because you wouldn't consider a handsome athlete to be a total fucking weeb who weebs so hard he pisses other weebs off) so he chooses Yu-Gi-Oh to be his "Trial by combat" game.
His opponent is cheating and so#s the judge. So just as the trial to prove his innocence was rigged, this trial by combat is also rigged.
He can't win, because a bunch of bullshit rules were made up and slapped onto the Protagonist. He loses half his Life Points and deck at the end of every turn, he can't fuse or Synchro summon, and he can't pendulum summon, or special summon in any way.
If I go too far with the bullshit rules that only apply to the Protag, it doesn't become a "The death has to seem fair or people will call this bullshit". But if I don't go far enough with the rules, he'd win before this scene got a chance to happen.
Anyway, the duel "ends" with the guy Protagonist is fighting using the "Needle Token+All Out Attacks" loop to create an infinite loop, which will perpetually whittle down Protagonist's health a bit more with each loop until Protag dies and the game ends.
However, this triggered Protag's trap card. Now, whenever the Protag would lose health that turn, he'd gain an equal amount of health instead. And numbers can be infinitely high, so the loop will continue until…
Well, forever.
I want this to be a "Proof that the Protagonist is a very tough and determined man" scene, in addition to a "Proof that the Protagonist is a very smart and creative man who will overcome incredible odds to win" scene, so I'm thinking this loop will go on and on until the opponent surrenders. Or shoots himself.
The guy the protagonist is fighting is being blackmailed. If the guy loses, something bad happens to him/his family/something his family did is revealed. If the guy wins, nothing bad happens/he gets something nice.
So if the guy kills himself in the middle of the duel, he technically didn't lose the duel which means whoever was blackmailing him can't do shit to him.
This works as a bonus thing because the protagonist is pretty lucky, so that suicide could also be the first thing that makes the audience think having Protagonist Luck might not be so good after all.
Your idea of making things different with each repetition is really good, though. I think, when this happens, I'll have everyone in the arena, audience members and judges and radio announcer guys alike, and people in other rooms listening to the radio, freaking the fuck out over this in different ways.

00bb3 No.198191

>>198168
The guy on /v/ is Barneyfag. (You) are Nigel, and you will always be Nigel.

423fe No.198194

>>198191
No, he is Nigel and calls others Barneyfag. Because MLP is on after Barney on American TV. A nonsensical criticism.
I am King Battlebrit, slayer of thots and libtards.

00f7b No.198195

>>198168
>Nigel's the guy on 4chan's /v/ who posts "Fuck you barneyfag!
Wrong thats lee,the king of autism.

2f17e No.198196

>>198168
>And numbers can be infinitely high, so the loop will continue until
Don't write about stuff you don't know about.
>Wat is supertask
Infinity is indeed eternal, but infinity can be overcome with a thing caled "supertask"
A supertask is an infinite amount of actions in a finite amount of time, you could use this as a plot device if you are so desperate to shove down information on your reader's throat.
Take this as you will.

423fe No.198199

>>198196
An infinite amount of actions in a finite time, huh?
What if that infinite amount of actions includes performing the next action in the loop?
1. Cactus Fighter special summons a Needle Token on your side of the field every time it destroys one of your monsters in battle.
2. Trap card All Out Attacks means every special summoned monster must attack when summoned.
3. Needle Token attacks Cactus Fighter and loses, getting destroyed.
4. You take battle damage.
5. No you don't, you have Rainbow Life, so you gain that damage as extra LP instead. Now that that's settled and your LP has increased…
6. Cactus Fighter just destroyed Needle Token, a monster. Which means…
7. Goto 1

d0b19 No.198212

I guess Nigel needs more dopamine

52eea No.198220

File: 1547394236312.gif (42.16 KB, 500x471, 1479495525159.gif)

Seems like we're back to the same problem as the first few threads on these fanfics.
You don't appear to be interested in learning the core concepts and underpinnings of creative writing, nor do you appear interested in pushing onwards with your own visions for your stories. You appear more content with listlessly asking people to tell you what to do and what to write, as in >>198199 >>198168 >>197769 et cetera.
I wonder what it will take for you to finally start learning to think and write for yourself?

2f17e No.198221

>>198199
You don't get it, as i said, a supertask involves doing an infinite number of tasks on a finite time.
This means that you will reach speed of light
What you'll end up with is both of your characters melting as the game accelerates beyond comprehension, as i said, you could use this as a plot device.

423fe No.198236

>>198220
I'm not asking others what to write. If I was, I'd say "Hey guys, what should I write?".
I'm here for feedback. I'm going to write this anyway, I just want to know what my ponies here think of it first.
>>198221
But the speed of light is a finite speed that can be surpassed. An infinite amount of time can be theoretically reached, but a truly infinite loop creates another instance of itself to be looped with each instance.
What, am I supposed to make the dueldisks fucking explode or something, to have the game declared as a draw? Won't work, you need to win a trial by combat to be declared not guilty. …I think. What are the real-world rules on this?

bf110 No.198237

>>198236
>feedback
Its the big gey

2f17e No.198240

>>198236
> the speed of light is a finite speed that can be surpassed
Ordinary matter cannot suprass the speed of light, it is forbidden by the theory of relativity as it would require infinite energy.
You lack a lot of creativity, do you understand the implications of moving at the speed of light?
You could travel back in time
>What are the real-world rules on this?
Theory of relativity, go read about that, you might find some inspiration.

423fe No.198467

>>198237
An infinite supply of energy? Sure, if you can't just magically double an object's speed until it surpasses light.
>>198240
Talking about the rules of trial by combat, genius. What does it mean when a trial by combat ends in a draw?

2f17e No.198468

File: 1547495763555.jpg (39.05 KB, 784x640, 1546998368923.jpg)

>>198467
I'm telling you you can travel back in time and you still talk about what happens if they end up in a draw?
Think outside the box, it's not that hard.

423fe No.198471

>>198468
I already know the cool shit that could be done if you travelled back in time. Rewrite history, wipe out the blacks, jews, and mudslimes, negate feminism years ahead of schedule, turn the entire Asian world into the USA's bitch, give raspberry pis to the earliest scientists able to figure out how these tiny computers work and how to upgrade their piece of shit room sized computers, go into space, get worshipped as a god by superstitious idiots, there's a lot you can theoretically do with time travel. If multiverse theory is real, you can create timelines that exist to create time machines and put soldiers into them trained to correct timelines where niggers won. And if not, erase this gay earth and set humanity on a better course towards the stars.

20113 No.198497

Nigel don't let these fags trick you into mainstream cuck writing. You're my fave fanfic writer on MLPOL.

52eea No.198522

>>198236
>I'm not asking others what to write. If I was, I'd say "Hey guys, what should I write?".
Which is literally what you did:
>>197769
>Should I show the loop happening three times, ten times, or 1488 times…
The better question here is: why are you even asking us at all? Shouldn't you have a good sense of this for yourself?
Have you taken a step back, looked at your work, and thought to yourself: "Why should anyone read this?" "Why wouldn't they want to read this?" "Given those reasons, what should I do to entice them to them read this?"
>>197999 (checked) is quite right in his assessment.
Hence why I asked what it will take for you to start learning and writing for yourself.

>I'm here for feedback. I'm going to write this anyway, I just want to know what my ponies here think of it first.

Nothing good so far. I have fairly high standards for stories, and I'm seeing nothing so far that I'd want to read.
Even then, I'm willing to put that aside for people willing to improve, but unfortunately you've proven quite resistant to that, asking for directions instead of advice, something that's persisted despite your newfound tolerance of criticism.
Anyone can follow directions, that's how machines have done so well. Following advice is a very different thing.

423fe No.198523

>>198497
Thanks bro! And if you want to see mainstream cuck writing, look at the FimFellatio feature box of nepotism. Generic uninspired oneshots where mediocrely written sex happens, generic uninspired oneshots in general, flavour of the month crap clearly inspired by whichever recent movies got popular, "smart" fanfics that read like a nine minute video of Niel Datass Tyson and Elizer "Old enough to pee, old enough to get damned to an eternity in AI hell unless you give all your money to me" Yudkowsky wanking each other off, godawful "Twilight Snarkle" fics where she snarks at an OOC extra stupid world when not drinking or saying she needs a drink, and fucking degenerate RGRE "I wanna be treated like a pwetty giwl all the rich guys want, but I also dun wan dat, I swear I'm not gay, I'm a cool man who says no to my big tiddy motherly bulliis with crushes on me until we fug" trash.
No ambition. No drive to push boundaries. No dignity.

423fe No.198530

>>198522
Wait no
I'm not seriously going to pick a number if I don't like it. I wanted people to post numbers they liked, so I could surprise them with 1666 pages. It was funny because nobody expected a number that big. I'm here for feedback on the ideas I will use. I'm not all "Guys what should I write? How should I tell my story" instead of "Guys how do I write this well? How do I tell this bit of the story better".
I'm not like one of those fanfic.net users who's all "Accepting ocs! And story ideas"
Then again, come to think of it…
What if we had a "post ideas here" thread here for others to use?

2f17e No.198533

>>198471
But that's already expected, there's no fun in reading about a character doing all that stuff, no matter how cool it is to self-incert as the character.
You have to give the reader a reason to care for the character, you have to give him flaws, give him obstacles and sometimes even make him the underdog, that is for the kind of thing you want to write i mean.
If you just write about how cool is your character, everyone is going to hate it out of spite and go out of their way to ridicularize him.
You can write edgy, mary-sueish characters, but you have to balance the thing someway.
And that's just the basics of writing a story, we aren't even talking about hard stuff like keeping the reader interested.

d6605 No.198575

I have a lot of problems with this thread. The first and major one is that I don't want this to be the beginning of a bad trend. Basically, what is happening here? You, Nigel, has discovered that your story gets more attention in a thread of its own instead of in a thread general like the writefag thread or the November writings month thread so you posted it here. And now we are back at where we started last time, it is like you secretly love vril and tries to shill cycle theory to get his attention, with two threads both about the same fanfic, your fanfic, in the catalog.

Why can this become a bad trend? Well, we have several writefags on this board and you know if having your own thread gives you more attention than being, in general, why don't we clog up the front page?

I heard some anon suggesting a board for write-fagging which was probably with good intentions but I do think that it will just have a negative effect. This is because then we would have threads for each Anon's story. Then it will be a stupid popularity competition were other writefags will sage or trying to avoid bumping each others threads since that means they would pass their own because being first is being seen. It would stop being about the writing and so on but I will return to that. But yes, I guess it is condescending and/or cynical of me to think that this is a possibility and maybe that wouldn't happen but I don't want to take the risk.

Secondly, then there really isn't enough traffic to the main board nor interest in write-fagging here to justify the creation of a new board.

Thirdly, write-fagging, I have heard, was always an integral part of /mlp/. I think it should be part of the main board.

The solution to this is to have a thread or like two different generals (I am thinking one about review of media) if one isn't enough designated for this purpose.

One could claim that I have a bias since I am the guy who posted the last two writefag threads and therefore I don't know, that I have got some masturbatory feelings whenever someone uses it. While I won't confirm or deny anything, it is important to remember that Nigel's OPs got hijacked in the end. I wasn't even the first guy to post a writefag thread on this board and I have done nothing special so I don't see it if one were to bring that up.

One could also argue that I posted the writefags competition thread while the writefag thread was/is still in the catalog. And I can admit that I was thinking in terms of attention and that it was wrong of me to do so because it takes up unnecessary space for those anons that aren't interested in write fagging. I could have simply posted the thing in the writefag thread. In my defense that thread is far down in the catalog so it shouldn't be in the way but the drawback to this is when some anon wants to discuss writing but doesn't want to participate in the competition thread that means he will have to bump the writefag thread which means we will then have two of these threads. The competition thread will however only last till the end of this weekend. It has its deadline between Friday and Saturday, I think, this week. After that we are only going to decide on a winner then I will let it die and if we ever are going to do this again we will do it in the writefag thread instead.

This was the first problem of many I have with this thread that I would like to address. I will continue this tomorrow.

0326a No.198710

File: 1547647011006.webm (35.98 MB, 1920x1080, Rake you in.webm)

>>198522
So btw Leafy-sempai would you be interested in a being one of the judges for the competition on this thread >>197973?
Basically, you would read each story and make an evaluation Telling the Anon what he did well and what he can improve upon. of the story and then give it a rating, a real-valued number between zero and ten. I am going to ask Glimglam if he wants to be the other judge so it will be you two if he wants to join.

423fe No.198718

>>198533
Sunrise Stardust isn't a self insert. Silver had a lot of things in common with me, though with extra character flaws to make him more interesting, plus a more interesting backstory that fit better in the MLP world. But Sunrise Stardust was built from the ground up to be the best possible protagonist for a Fallout Equestria story, and anything he has in common with me is coincidental.
As for flaws, I'm working on it. one is hidden there already, one's about to be revealed, and he gets a bigger one after exposure to the wasteland. Believe me, the wasteland will change him. He isn't going to be an obnoxiously static goody four shoes.
That bit where he sees degeneracy, it makes him vomit, but it all works out in the end… I didn't want to make his hatred of degeneracy a flaw, but if I made him vomiting cause him to lose the respect of the degenerates, would he seem like a more interesting and flawed character to you?
As for how interesting he is… isn't his goal, to rebuild Equestria, interesting already?
>>198575
I like the idea of a general for improving one's writing and getting feedback. I just hope it doesn't turn into a lazy circlejerk like the fimfic thread on 4/mlp.

2f17e No.198727

File: 1547663353871.jpg (175.36 KB, 933x700, 1526424329938.jpg)

>>198718
You know what, just do whatever you want.

ab7a9 No.198828

File: 1547709463558-0.jpg (225.07 KB, 1272x614, Pokemon in Nigel's fic par….JPG)

File: 1547709463558-1.jpg (362.78 KB, 1263x651, Pokemon in Nigel's fic par….JPG)

File: 1547709463558-2.jpg (280.8 KB, 1238x570, Pokemon in Nigel's fic par….JPG)

File: 1547709463558-3.jpg (292.03 KB, 1248x578, Pokemon in Nigel's fic par….JPG)

File: 1547709463558-4.jpg (272.78 KB, 1240x580, Pokemon in Nigel's fic par….JPG)

>>198727
Your approach is completely right.
I have literally written this 6k words doc detailing the failings of his writing in general and this thread but I just don't care anymore. I honestly thought that he had and would improve since the whole entire board help him and gave him advice. But no. He still does shit like >pic related.
I was just being gullible.
While I can still tolerate you and sometimes agree with your opinions Nigel, I have come to the understanding that you will not improve and that you are, and I will not Sugarcoat it anymore, one of the worst writers I have ever witnessed. I have also come to a conclusion upon why that is. It is because you are lazy. You think that because you write so much that is the furthest thing anyone can call you. Yet, you are the very quintessence of the wordd lazy. You just type and don't put any effort into thinking what to write and how to write it.
I won't go into why because you don't learn and there are other writefags who actually put some effort into their work but don't have an anon write a novel about their novel. I like to reserve myself to give feedback to them.
Also >>197928 >>198168 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rKMMCPeiQoc
I could really not find a polite way of saying this so I hope you don't take it too harshly.

ab7a9 No.198829

File: 1547709524506-0.jpg (242.97 KB, 1233x579, Pokemon in Nigel's fic par….JPG)

File: 1547709524506-1.jpg (242.98 KB, 1233x570, Pokemon in Nigel's fic par….JPG)

File: 1547709524506-2.jpg (120.23 KB, 1228x572, Pokemon in Nigel's fic par….JPG)

File: 1547709524506-3.jpg (173.05 KB, 1217x578, Pokemon in Nigel's fic par….JPG)

File: 1547709524506-4.jpg (196.91 KB, 1247x568, Pokemon in Nigel's fic par….JPG)


ab7a9 No.198830

File: 1547709712657-0.jpg (293.37 KB, 1235x576, Pokemon in Nigel's fic par….JPG)

File: 1547709712657-1.jpg (270.42 KB, 1237x567, Pokemon in Nigel's fic par….JPG)

There is still like at least six more pic like these to go.

ab7a9 No.198846

File: 1547716706469.jpg (138.89 KB, 1020x1000, 1517081177_Celesteart.jpg)

>>198522
Right, there was a reason to bump this thread. I wanted the attention of you leaf. What do you think about this >>198710?

5df4c No.198849

File: 1547725831342.gif (781.7 KB, 371x209, image.gif)

>>197999
>12 million words

ab7a9 No.198856

>>198828
Sorry, I should have said that I respect you not "tolerate" you as a person but not your writting skills.

52eea No.198878

File: 1547742038196.jpg (5.88 KB, 325x143, 1473481263392.jpg)

I'm gonna level with you here, Nigel. I've been fighting a bad head cold off for a few days, and no amount of drinking has been able to get me back into my flow. So today you get a petty, snippy, and brutally honest >leaf, which is pretty much what I'm always like anyways.

>>198530
>I'm here for feedback on the ideas I will use.
No you are not. And I know you are not, because you immediately contradict yourself:
>I'm not all "Guys what should I write? How should I tell my story" instead of "Guys how do I write this well? How do I tell this bit of the story better".
The only difference between the former and latter statements is that the latter statement is far more focused in what it requests spoonfeeding for. Don't you dare tell me otherwise.
>I'm not like one of those fanfic.net users
Presented without comment.
>What if we had a "post ideas here" thread here for others to use?
Greentext prompts have long fulfilled that purpose.
>>198718
>everything about your story
You, uh… you still don't get it, do you?
No wonder >>198727 just exited stage left.
>I just hope it doesn't turn into a lazy circlejerk like the fimfic thread on 4/mlp.
There are worse fates for threads. For instance, you derailing said writing threads by flooding it with unrelated garbage. I'm not even mad, I'm actually kinda impressed with how artfully you can miss the point of even my most allegorical explanations. Kinda reminds me of someone else, actually…

I think I know exactly how to coax you into improving, but I'm in no state to play tard wrangler today. We'll see, we'll see.
Now…

52eea No.198894

File: 1547745501605.jpg (89.79 KB, 1280x1465, kane-20070914043431219-212….jpg)

>>198575
Ahh, Svenja! Good to see you again, buddy. Before I start our not-tête-à-tête, I regret to inform you that I'm in no state to write right now. So no continuation of our prior ongoing back-and-forth, and no contest entry for me, sadly. That being said, I've no issue with signing onto the board of reviewers for your contest.
Now on with my replies!

>The first and major one is that I don't want this to be the beginning of a bad trend.

You can't control trends on imageboards, my man. Believe me, I've tried. Everything that springs up is 100% organic memery. Best to go with the flow, y'know?
>it is like you secretly love vril and tries to shill cycle theory to get his attention
You've stumbled on a correlation more on-point than you think, Sven.
>I heard some anon suggesting a board for write-fagging which was probably with good intentions but I do think that it will just have a negative effect.
>…there really isn't enough traffic to the main board nor interest in write-fagging here to justify the creation of a new board.
>write-fagging, I have heard, was always an integral part of /mlp/. I think it should be part of the main board.
Right on all three counts, my Scandinavian person of colour.
>But yes, I guess it is condescending and/or cynical of me to think that this is a possibility and maybe that wouldn't happen but I don't want to take the risk.
In practice, this never happens. Even the tightest-wound circlejerks on /mlp/ don't scrap in this fashion, beyond the typical autism. I still don't know why /nmp/ and /rgre/ scrap with each other.
>The solution to this is to have a thread or like two different generals
We'll have to digress there, I'm afraid. Organic growth of a happening aside, generals devoted to singular niches are very successful, as it is with the fillies and the /sg/ gang. Generals that encompass big swathes of subject material are, by all accounts, barren wastelands. We like to operate within limits, and if you're about everything, then you end up being about nothing. There's a reason /sp/ is a barren tundra, and why the unsuccessful generals require disproportionate amounts of bumping by one or two IPs.
The simple truth is that people's eyes glaze over when they see big, overarching subject material blasted in their face. And to be honest, with a 15 page catalog and an on-site permanent archive, there really isn't a good reason to stick to generals outside of user migration and ginormous happenings.
Single threads about singlular subjects are successful precisely because they are so lasered into the subject material, and people enjoy that little niche and the limits within it. That's how greentext prompts on /mlp/ and happening threads on /pol/ became the generals they are/were today.
I see your reasoning, but you've got the cause and effect backwards.
>One could claim that I have a bias since I am the guy who posted the last two writefag threads and therefore I don't know, that I have got some masturbatory feelings whenever someone uses it.
Is that a bad thing?
>One could also argue that I posted the writefags competition thread while the writefag thread was/is still in the catalog.
Nobody is.
>And I can admit that I was thinking in terms of attention and that it was wrong of me to do so
Stop you right there. If I hear any more of this, I'm gonna lose my fucking mind.
Everyone posts what they post because they want attention. Everyone. Every last person. It's what people do, how they operate. Whatever platitudes they may spout off about 'improving themselves', 'doing a service', 'doing it for the people', or whatever else are all secondary traits rationalized to a higher tier out of some misplaced fear of being an attention whore.
There's not a damn thing wrong with it, even on an imageboard. Only difference is that here, you've gotta work for those (You)'s, even the bad ones. Nigel's threads took serious dedication on his part to become what they were.

>>198828
Hah, even when you finally crack, you're still polite about it! You'd make a good Canadian.
>I have come to the understanding that you will not improve and that you are, and I will not Sugarcoat it anymore, one of the worst writers I have ever witnessed.
Horsho! Very good, tovarich! Let the hate flow through you, da?
>I have also come to a conclusion upon why that is. It is because you are lazy.
Tell him how it is! Tell him! Fight! Fight! Fight!
>You think that because you write so much that is the furthest thing anyone can call you. Yet, you are the very quintessence of the wordd lazy. You just type and don't put any effort into thinking what to write and how to write it.
Finish him!
>I won't go into why because you don't learn and there are other writefags who actually put some effort into their work but don't have an anon write a novel about their novel. I like to reserve myself to give feedback to them.
F A T A L I T Y
But all joking aside, you're absolutely right. Against sloth, positive reinforcement is utterly ineffective, as I myself found out in the other threads. Only negative reinforcement will coax out the change you want to see in him.
Remember: there's a reason he's posting to Fimfic and fanfiction.net, and not posting stories here.
>I could really not find a polite way of saying this
Then don't. Save your politeness for folks who prove themselves deserving of it.
>so I hope you don't take it too harshly.
Eh, fuck him. Who cares? I know you're reading this, Nigel-kun. Give me a reason to care.

ab7a9 No.198969

>>198894
>Eh, fuck him. Who cares?
Its good I have you leafy. That way I look more like the good cop in this situation. Appreciated it, man.

348a8 No.199034

Dead-eyed and emaciated, Twilight Sparkle trudged wearily behind her master. Her hooves were caked with the mud of many a long journey, her once lustrous mane and tail now hung thin and limp against her bony frame, her once vibrant coloration a dull sickly gray-violet. Her cutie mark had long since faded and there was now only a thin patch of discoloration on her flank to hint that one had ever been there. Each day she yearned for Death's sweet embrace, yet she knew that Death would not come. She would not enter that cold and blissful eternal sleep until her hated master lay dead and defeated, and she knew by the rules that bound her that his defeat could not come from her hand. Hoof. Horn. Whatever.

She noticed that her master had stopped walking and was now scanning the air around him attentively. The silhouette of his flabby form stood upright in that peculiar way these "human" creatures had. His ponderous bulk, wrapped in sweaty garments and capped with a strange hat that Rarity had once, in a time long ago, told her was called a "fedora", cut a misshapen and corpulent figure against the murky autumn sky.

"What is it my master?" said Twilight wearily. "Must I once again slob your malodorous and unwashed tiny shlong?"

Nigel turned to her with irritation and waved his flabby arm, motioning for her to be silent.

"Quiet, wench," he said. "I was thinking about YuGiOh cards. And yes, I will need you to do that later. Or, actually, yes. Go ahead and do that right now."

Twilight sighed heavily, but did not protest. Nigel slid down his soiled sweat pants and the squat, stubby mushroom-shaped protrusion that he laughably referred to as his member popped out. Twilight approached with resignation and open mouth. Her lips closed distastefully around the hated little protuberance. Although the length was hardly a problem, being close enough to Nigel to inhale the aroma of sweat and moldy cheese that clung to him like a miasma meant that it always required all of her concentration just to avoid gagging. She could hear him breathing heavily and babbling about YuGiOh cards as her long-misused pony mouth worked its magic, and she thanked whatever powers might exist in this decaying universe that he never lasted very long.

He rubbed his grubby paws through her mane, which she knew meant that she would be scrubbing Cheeto dust out of it for the next week and a half. She didn't even know why she bothered washing it anymore. Probably because maintaining some semblance of pride in her appearance was the last vestige of self-respect she had left.

Her horn fizzed briefly as she attempted to summon a magic hand to massage his tiny raisin balls and hopefully make him finish faster. Her magic had been on the wane lately, the last aspect of her old self to finally start to fade. It looked as if that too was now almost gone; by her own estimation she only had one spell left that she could cast before her power left her forever. Did she really want to waste it massaging Nigel's balls? The answer to that was no, no she didn't.

Aborting the hand construct, she began to focus her concentration on something more complex. She knew that she had precious little power left, but if she used it conservatively she might just be able to pull this off. She had to bet it all on a miracle.

She closed her eyes, channeled her power, and made a wish.

When she opened her eyes, Nigel had finished. With a look of disgust, she spat out his revolting seed. Glumly she stood and watched it seep slowly into the dusty ground as Nigel tugged up his sweat pants, continuing to babble about YuGiOh cards. Looks like her wish hadn't come true.

Or had it?

As she turned her attention to the road before them, she became aware of a figure on the horizon, a tall and gaunt silhouette that seemed to make the air around them grow colder as soon as it appeared. Nigel seemed aware of it too, for as he gazed upon it his jellylike mass was trembling.

"Who on earth are you?" he demanded as the figure approached.

The figure did not answer, but Twilight knew. She had seen this apparition in her books of spells long ago. She had called out his name on many a lonely night lying next to a snoring Nigel, bathed in his musky odor; in those moments of despair she had sought out the comfort of this figure's merciful touch. This was the Omega, the Terminus; Death, the end of all things.

"You know who I am, mortal," Death sneered, and Nigel's legs began to quake with terror.

"W-what do you want with me?" he cried.

"Your time has come," said Death, beckoning with his scythe.

Yes, thought Twilight. Finally. This is the end. One way or the other, soon I will be free.

She stood, grinning like a giddy school filly, watching as Nigel began to quake and stammer.

"Stop babbling," snapped Death. "The fissure awaits. You must come with me."

"W-w-wait!" cried Nigel. Death turned. "Maybe we can work something out."

Death looked amused.

"Work something out?" he mocked. "You don't 'work something out' with me, mortal. Come."

"Well," continued Nigel, stalling. "Perhaps…"

Then, suddenly, a light dawned in his eyes.

"Hold on a minute, Death! I challenge you!"

Death turned around fully.

"You challenge me? No mortal has dared to challenge me in over 9000 years!"

Twilight suddenly realized where this was going, and her spirits sank.

No, she whispered, No, it's not fair. I was so close…

Nigel smugly tipped his fedora, striking a pose against the gray sky that he probably thought made him look cool.

"I challenge you…" he said dramatically, "…to a DUEL!"

"no…" whispered Twilight hoarsely. "no, for the love of all that is holy, don't accept…"

Death, however, either did not hear her or paid her no mind. A ghostly grin spread across his bony face.

"Very well," he said, "I accept."

Nigel whipped out his YuGiOh cards.

"Then let the game…BEGIN!"

[to be continued]



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