/mlpol/ - My Little Politics


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Twilights Book Fort/Writefag, Story Ideas, Advice, Proofreadings, Reviews, And Shilling
Anonymous
2UQgi
?
No.235183
235200 238232
This thread is for Anons who want to give back to the community, either by writing their own stories or helping others with theirs. Also make sure to keep any ideas you have for a fan-fiction in this thread, and of course give your opinions on the ideas of other Anons.

I’ll make sure to check up on this thread regularly, to ensure that (you)’ll have at least one Anon to give you some advice or check your fic out.

Also this is not a greenfaging thread. This is explicitly for sharing fan-fiction and ideas for fan-fictions. There are other many green-text threads on this site, so feel free to take your greenfaging there.
Anonymous
2UQgi
?
No.235192
235200 235396 235447 235468 235470
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First of all I want to start of with the premise of my story and how I originally came up with it. My story is set in the Fall of Equestria universe, a universe in which Equestria is taken over by an EXTREMELY patriarchal race of Caribou/Reindeer, who seek to turn Equestria into a patriarchal dystopia in which mares are regard as little more than sexual objects. For the mares of this Equestria rape, slavery, torture, and humiliation are all daily occurrences that they have absolutely no hope of escaping. Virtually every stallion wether he be Caribou/Reindeer or Pony in this universe is a sex crazed sociopath with at least one or more mares/slaves who must follow his every command, without question, no matter how cruel or degrading, least she be punished.

https://www.fimfiction.net/group/201787/fall-of-equestria

My story asks one simple question. What if every stallion in this universe wasn’t a complete sociopath, who cares about nothing but obtaining as much pussy as possible, regardless of how many ponies he has to destroy? In every fan fiction I’ve read that revolves this universe literally every stallion is a complete sociopath who will do just about anything to a mare with absolutely no regard for her as a pony. This isn’t to say that every stallion is on a constant spree of rape and torture, (although many are) it’s just that none of them have any moral quarrels about occasionally raping one of mare or even beating. To them mares really are nothing more than objects to be used at their discretion. I personally find the idea that every stallion would act in such a manner to pure nonsense, which is why my story revolves around one of the few stallions who wishes to treat mares as ponies, and not sexual objects.

This stallion was an extremely influential noble prior to Equestrias fall who was lucky enough to be kept alive and used as a puppet in the ruling government. His position isn’t anywhere near as prestigious as it once was, but it’s far more than can be said of most of Equestrias prior nobles. He lives within Canterlot Castle in his own private room, and has near full reign of the castles grounds and services, so long as he doesn’t step out of line. Ever since the Fall he has watched on in horror as every pillar of decency and morality in his society has came tumbling down, too scared to protest, least he become the next victim of this new Equestria.

He had always tried to stay quite and do the bare minimum of what had to be done to keep himself alive and well off, but that all ended when he locked eyes with one mare, Octavia. He meets Octavia at a small garden concert where he finds himself enchanted by the soft sound of her cello. After each performance every mare is trotted out onto stage individually, and made to present themselves for rent to the crowd of hungry stallions. Just like any other concert shortly after showing herself off Octavia is bought up by young stallion, but this time rather than being rented out, she’s been permanently bought.

Octavia expecting to be treated by this stallion just she’s been treated by any other since the Fall, has to get over her conditioning, and hopefully one day view said stallion as a stallion, rather than an abuser or rapist, and herself as a mare, rather than a cheap slut. And the stallion has to struggle to act like a proper gentlecolt, treating Octavia not only as a mare, but as the marefriend he intends to swear his undying love to, in a world that expects the exact opposite of him. Any stallion in this world that is overly sympathetic to mares, especially those who try to completely shelter them from the hell-scape that Equestria has become in this regard are viewed as no better than the mares they sympathise with, and are therefore neutered and treated as such, along with their mare(s) being treated to even worse atrocities than before. Essentially in this world, while lust between mares and stallions has never been more powerful, love is completely outlawed.

Because of these expectations the two can only truly treat other as ponies, or rather as lovers in private, while in public they have to adhere to the proper expectations, least their fates become far worse than ever before. Can a stallion stay loyal and true to his mare when he is forced to degrade, abuse, and treat her as little more than a common slut in public, as well as going on the occasion orgy or cheating spree with his fellow stallions? Would he be a coward for not doing so and therefore putting his mares life at risk? And how can a mare such as Octavia expect to stay pure of heart and body when after all she has went through, she must suffer more abuse and humiliation at the hoof of the stallion she loves? How can she truly love such stallion, even if what he does is out of pure necessity?
Anonymous
2UQgi
?
No.235194
235200 235396 235447 235468
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I plan to break all of this into four main arches. The first arch will setup the basic plot, backstory, introduce some of the main characters, and expand a little on the lore of the world, as well as being the arch where our two main characters first meet. This arch will also revolve around Octavia and many of the mares she works alongside careers as professional classic musicians, and of course, as sex slaves, completely merciless to their owner or owners of the night. While this arch will mainly focus on Octavia, our stallion of choices daily life in Canterlot Castle as seemingly the only stallion in Equestria with any reverence towards mares will also get a few generous paragraphs.

The second arch will begin as soon our stallion buys Octavia and brings her back to his room. This will mainly revolve both of our characters relationship with one another, and breaking down some of the expectations that they have both become so accustomed to in this strange new Equestria. Octavia will not only have learn to act and most importantly view herself as the dignified, well cultured intelligent, and beautiful mare she once was, rather than the cum dumpster that would obediently and happily spread her hind legs and rise her tail for any number of stallions to runt her various holes at will that she had became, she would also have trust her master, and begin to view him more as a lover, than a slave peddler. With the stallion being given the difficult task of setting up these expectations, and then delivering on them, under the threat of slavery and emasculation if anypony were to even suspect that he wasn’t treating his mare as a virtual sex toy.

The third Arch will begin sometime around when these two get past their prejudices, start to form their loving relationship, and Octavia learns to view herself as the mare she once was. While some aspects of this may blend into the later half of the second arch, this one will mainly revolve the breaking of trust, as the world they live in begins to truly try on their relationship. Octavia will slowly begin to find out that her lover wasn’t acting much better than any other stallion while he was outside of their room, and she will eventually face such abuse and humiliation first hoof, as her stallion tries to balance his deep love for her, with his paranoia of not keeping up expectations and therefore being found out, which can lead him willingly into some pretty abhorrent situations. He will have to find a way to justify, and make up for his previous actions to the mare he cares about so deeply, while continuing to carry them out, to keep up appearances.

The final act will revolve around the growing suspicion towards him and Octavia. And said suspicion will force both characters to compensate, by willingly, and occasionally even being forced into extremely harsh and degrading situations to prove themselves as being no different, and no less deviant than anypony else around them. Both characters will essentially be forced to drop all of the development and strife they went through, to degrade themselves further than ever and become exactly what they were trying to escape, just to survive. Although everything they went through wasn’t futile, as for whenever they’re in their room they can freely express their love for each other, learning to leave whatever happens on the other side of that door where it belongs.

Also, post more horse pussy, please.
Anonymous
EYfr0
?
No.235200
235208
>>235183
This is s great thread anon! I’ll try to contribute some things after I am out of work

>>235194
>>235192
I love your Octavias
Anonymous
2UQgi
?
No.235208
235318 235323
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>>235200
Don’t worry about it. Take as long as you want, this thread will still be here.

>I love your Octavias
Thank you! It can be surprisingly hard to find any good horse pussy pics.
Anonymous
yULUr
?
No.235318
235500
>>235208
>It can be surprisingly hard to find any good horse pussy pics
The "anatomically correct" tag on Derpibooru is pretty useful for sorting out the horsepussy.
Anonymous
Ifsup
?
No.235323
235500
>>235208
You never posted Shydale's Octavia. That image is great
Anonymous
csxpu
?
No.235396
235397 235470 235500
>>235192
>>235194
You are clearly very passionate about this and I think I understand your facination you have with this premise. Well, sort of. Maybe I interprete it in different way.

Sad to tell you your story has two problems: The first is the fact that males do not share sex between them. So raindeers and stallions sharing mares or stallions sharing sharing mares is diffcult to believe. If you are really going with this premise, then you need to justify it well.
The second thing is this:
>Although everything they went through wasn’t futile, as for whenever they’re in their room they can freely express their love for each other, learning to leave whatever happens on the other side of that door where it belongs.
The ending is them learning literally learn to live a happy cuckold life. Like that is possible.

Nice, thread anyway.
Anonymous
csxpu
?
No.235397
>>235396
Appearently, I am murikan. lol
sage
sage
3aGQd
?
No.235447
235500
>>235192
>>235194
Cuckoldry is both against the rules and degenerate.
Anonymous
os4bs
?
No.235468
235480 235500
>>235192
>>235194

I think I read this idea (sort of). Big Mac woke up from the caribou spell, and then he tries to make the mares under him react, while being forced to treat them like shit.
Anyway, as a guy who browses Derpibooru with "Everything" filters, I always saw FoE content, yet it always bugged me his canon:
How the Caribous won? Why Cadance betray the ponies? If cutting wings and horns do the trick, why bother making runes for the changelings? Why the Everfree Forest got infested with CoC monsters?

In any case, I was more interested with the other side of the coin: Rise of Equestria. Why AJ, AB, and SB use superhero clothing is another question to the pile, but I always been a fan of unconventional heroes.
I know I'll never going to write it because it would be too long, and I don't have any porn skill whatsoever (while lots of writefags tend to add a lot of details and imagery, my style always was "walk here, do that"), but may as well share my ideas so they stop bugging me:
Okay, so: unconventional hero. A caribou. Executioner. He gets rid of the mares who won't comply to the new rules.
Anyway, he notices the line is becoming longer so he knows what is going to happen: destroy this place, let's ransack another. Anyway, under him there are three mares to serve him; a black collar, a red collar, and a purple collar.
He wanted the purple one to have a pet, a red one to chill, and the only reason he got a black one was because he is curious, and was interested as the black collar ranted about the old Equestria and how they will defeat the Caribou.
Going back, he knows he will be forced to kill a lot of black collars, so he let's his mare go. The problem is he never knew that her fighting spirit just go higher after that, so she liberates tons of black collars during the night, and a short civil war happens.
The girls are recaptured, but at cost of lots of stallions and caribous. He is then tasked to kill her, but he refuses to kill the mare who woke up his curious side.
The king of Caribou notices this, decks him in the face, cuts his antlers, and exiles his ass with his girls.
Then I go to another story where the issue is about working together when you are the most unprepared team ever, and your enemy rules about 70% of the land. Along the way, his red collar becomes more independent, the purple collar acts from a dog to a parrot ([Purple] hungry! [Purple] wants food!), the black collar goes to try to murder him to at least accept his presence, and his antlers grow back.
Along the way they meet other friends, as a male dragon who escapes the invasion, a grypphon scout, and a zebra who is tasked to investigate the "Eastern lands".
The tale will end when the team enters the Everfree meeting the deer, and having a spear to the head as a greeting.
The caribou evades with ease, but it was a distraction: magic vines capture them, and King Aspen believes he is there to conquer them. The caribou says no, the king doesn't believes him, and stabs him in the stomach. He is sentenced to die at the bottom of the forgotten forest, but he is dragged by an unknown person to an underground cave.
The third tale would be about his recovery in a secret town full of female races, with an old female caribou as their elder.
He learns about this group of renegades, recovers his strenght, learn new magic and fighting skills, and discover that the elder was the girlfriend of the caribou king. She discovered an elder caribou god who could give him great power, and since he was tired of being seeing as just a barbarian, he summons him, and gets the power, leading to the events of FoE.
The caribou knows what he must do, but the elder gives him a red blood dagger, telling him is the only weapon that can kill the god. He wonders why she said god and not king, but he just go back to the surfice, recover his friends (where he discovers that the dragon became a smith, the scout a watchman, the zebra a soldier, and the girls were fully recovered from the king's spell), decks King Aspen in the face (doesn't kill him), and explains his crazy plan to storm and defeat the king in Canterlot.
The last tale would be him in a short trip talking with his friends about what happened as he recovered: the dragon was needed for armor and weapons since he could breath fire, the grypphon helped a lot by watching over the town, and the zebra was strong so he was a new number to the deer army. The purple collar recovered her cognisitive abilities, the red collar was an independent woman who don't need no man, and the black collar was just happy he was alive.
In Canterlot, they find that the city is deserted. Not even guards walking around. One caribou calls them into their house, and they discover that the king fucked up with all letter in mayus, thick black.
It turns out that the god needed to resucite, so he gathers the most wise powerful caribous, and they bring Twilight as the vessel. A rape ganbang of 10 males, 1 girl makes her pregnant, and the ritr is complete. But rhe god didn't hold for 11 months, he appeared 5 minutes later. In a fast breeding event with dark magic, the elder god was born, and absorbs the soul of all the males, growing up to a mature male in seconds.
After that, the kingdom went from a dystopian patriarchy to a dark evil entity trying to destroy all of Equus, perhaps even the world. He goes absorbing any life he wants, as he uses the princesses as their personal cumrags/magic sponges.
Our team goes straight to the castle where they will see the god.
Here happens an epic battle until it turns into a Shadow of the Colossus boss fight, but our caribou, with indomable and brave spirit, manages to defeat him by stabbing the monster in the chest with the dagger.
The idea took too long, so I'll write in the next post.
Anonymous
csxpu
?
No.235470
235503
>>235192
>>235396
>Like that is possible.
I feel I like to clearify myself a bit.
I am not against cukoldry in stories. Stuff like that happens. What I am against is that it is put in a postive light.
The way your story ends right now has Octavia constantly cheat on her husband and him on her for that matter. That is not something that won't hurt their relationship.
Fine, this nightmarish world cannot be change by your characters in the story but don't make it a happy ending then.
Anonymous
os4bs
?
No.235480
235500
>>235468

The damage is fatal, and the god starts dying. But in a coward attempt to keep his life going, uses his powers to absorb all caribou souls to him, including the ones at the secret underground cave.
Thankfully, it doesn't work, but in the mist of darkness, a glowing body is fighting trying to get away from the absorbtion: is the caribou.
The black collar runs towards him, but the mist rejects her. Both try to be together, but the moment they touch hands, the mist blast them away, the black collar falling back and the caribou being absorbed.
The moment this happens, a beacon of light hits the sky, dissipating all the darkness: Equestria is free again.
A baby's crying fills the room, and our team finds out is our caribou, turned into a baby with the mark of the elder god in his forehead.
The black collar picks him up, and cries thanking him for not kill her and saving all of Equestria.
As the anarchy reigns, our princesses are in the last stretch, and there's no cure since that monster basically drained them. But something happens: the elder caribou is alive, and was brought with the deer's help.
It turns out most female caribou used their magic to make one spell that will protect her from the absorbtion, and now that she is the one with forbiden knowledge, gives up her life so the princesses live.
Our caribou became the last caribou alive.
There would be a final epilogue with ten years into the future. The royal sisters rule again, Cadance is behind bars, and Twilight became a sage in Canterlot. The zebra went back to the west, the dragon is helping his kin in the badlands, and the grypphon had to report his findings, ranking up into an army general. Our kid caribou has grow up in a good boy, and the girls are raising him.
Sadly this wouldn't stop people of bastardize him since he is a reminder of a gruesome past. This will reach boiling point when some stallions take him away into a shed to kill him, but what they didn't knew is that the elder god is still inside him. He torments the stallions, and tries to corrupt the child, but the moment he touches him he feels pain.
Scared of a second death, he realizes that the little child is also him now, so he just makes him pass out.
When our girls find the boy, they find the stallions dead by comminting suicide, one having wrote "he is alive" with his blood.
When the girls take our boy home, he tells them he falled asleep when those stallions tried to attack him and had a nightmare where a guy like him torture them and tried to hurt him.

There was a sequel idea, but I'll post that one later because I need to sleep.
Anonymous
2UQgi
?
No.235498
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I’m currently writing a prostitution clop fic. So far it’s just over 14,000 words long according to a word checker, and I expect it to be around 20,000 to 24,000 when it’s done. So I’m about 3/4 to 2/3 finished with it. I just need to revise a few things that will no doubt beef the story up, as well as write my final scene. I won’t tell you guys what it’s about because I plan to shill it here when it’s done, but I will leave a few spoilers for the sequel. (One of the main reasons I made this thread was to give myself more motivation to write.)

This is another concept that I’ve had for awhile, that for whatever reason no one else seems to have picked up on. I call it heat torture, or estrous. If you don’t what heat is, first of all what kind of horsefucker are you? Second, heat/estrous a process that most female mammals including horses go through in which there sex drive is kicked into overdrive. During this period mares become extremely horny, their horse pussies become hot and swollen, and they emit a strong feminine musk that attracts stallions. If you’ve ever had a female dog this is the time of year that you can’t take her outside because ever male dog within a 10 mile radius will try to hunt her down and hump her.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Estrous_cycle

Heat torture is when a mare voluntarily gives herself over to a stallion for the full duration of her heat cycle. She has a small guard (usually made out of a strong fabric embedded with magic, to ensure that while she can’t touch herself, her musk and natural smells are still free.) covering her pussy and anus, and if she’s a unicorn her horn. It is then the stallions job to tease and play with his mare during her entire heat cycle, without allowing her to cum or even touching her marehood. The stallion will do everything in his power to tease the mare and get her sexually aroused, but will never allow her to finish, no matter how much mare begs him to just pin her down and tut her.

This is usually extremely intimate and only done between very close couples, with the first few days starting of mostly romantic with only light teasing, during this time the couple with spend virtually every second of every day next to each other. Only as the mare goes further into her cycle does the torture part of heat torture begins to make itself known. There are countless ways for a stallion to torture a mare heat, although this usually consists of things like tying a mare down, removing the guard around pussy and running his hoof or tung along her outer lips, without directly making contact with it. He might also masturabte onto the mare, dry hump her naked body while she is tied down, or remove her ropes only to beat her with a whip whenever she inevitably tries to run for him or play with herself. Needless to say they aren’t even a percentage of the ways that a stallion can torture a mare in heat, as there are literally thousands of ways to tease a horny mare.

Once all of that is done the mare is left literally manic with lust, driven completely mad by her hormones. While uncommon, it has been known for some mares to go into a “heat” stroke, in which they have a severe concussion and are forcibly hospitalised for weeks, in some cases months. But if the mare manages to survive her torture, at the highest point of her heat she will be tortured to no end before suddenly being pinned down and rutted senseless.

My story will end after the mare in the last one gives the stallion a small card with her address on it. The two will then spend a whole week getting to know some of the most intimate things about each, before getting right down to business with all the ropes and fun that that entails. The two previous strangers will be forced into the most intimate of situations, trapping themselves in small apartment, with nothing but themselves and a constant cloud of ever growing sexual tension in the air.

The mare in my story is written to be quite the teaser herself, a mare who from years of working as a prostitute knows how to easily work a stallion around her hoof, manipulating him into doing just about anything with her sex. So she will be far from passive, at least not until further into her cycle. She has a strong personality, so any worries about her just being a plot device for me the author to take out all my sick fetishes on her can be dismissed. If anything the stallion, at least so far is quite bland and doesn’t have much of a personality, which I intended to change in my sequel.

The story is going to be a mix between a slice of life, semi romance, gritty comedy with lots of banter, and an increasingly BDSM fetish story. Broken into arch, with each arch gradually straying away from the first premise to the second as the tension grows.
Anonymous
2UQgi
?
No.235500
235503 235514 235550 235606 235674 235676
D628362D-84FC-4D0F-A8F7-282D26D51574.png
>>235318
I just searched that up, and while there were a handful of good images, as usual most of them were subpar, at best.

>>235323
Sorry, I never found it. I’ll have to look it up again later.

>>235396
>Maybe I interprete it in different way.
I’d appreciate hearing your interpretation. It might go very a few new ideas for the story.

>The first is the fact that males do not share sex between them.
Yeah I personally don’t like the idea of the Caribou/Reindeer either. I’m probably just going to wipe them out of the story and have some group of horny stallions takeover Equestria instead. It doesn’t have to be too detailed, (most of her Caribou/Reindeer takeovers certainly aren’t) just something that fits into the universe I want to make and makes at least some sense within the world of Equestria. Although this is all just backstory, my story is set about a year or two after the takeover, just after the whole thing has became normalised.

I suppose I should have made that point clear in my original description. My universe is only partly based on the Fall of Equestria universe, with the main breakaway being a lack of Caribou/Reindeer.

>The ending is them learning literally learn to live a happy cuckold life. Like that is possible.
It’s exactly a happy ending, in fact it’s supposed to be tragedy. Let me put it this way, if you were in the same situation what would you do? Allow your Waifu to be sold back into sex slavery, only this time under a far crueler master, with yourself literally having your balls cut off and sold into the same fate, or do you go along to get along?

Besides, I plan to have one or maybe two cuckoldry scenes in my story, and they aren’t choice, they’re literal rape. My plan is to have a group of stallions confront my main stallion, and accuse him of sympathising with mares, specifically Octavia. He is given a choice by these stallions, he can either be their bitch and get gang raped, or he will have to watch as they gang rape his marefriend. If he hoofs himself over rather than Octavia he knows that first thing they’ll do after having their fun with him is go straight to the royal guards, and inform them of his crime, their reward would be both him and his mares life.

This is supposed to be tragedy, not something that’s played up for laughs or betrayed in a positive light. He loves his marefriend and would never dream of cheating on her or allowing her to cheat on him, but he is given no choice.

>>235447
Read what I just said to, >>235396

>>235468
>>235480
This is extremely interesting. I’ll have to give you a proper response later on, but seems like you’re away to sleep, so I don’t think you’d mind me just giving you a quick summary of what I think.

To be honest I find it really hard to criticise this, you seem to have absolutely everything worked out and I don’t see why you couldn’t start writing today. Your only problem is your disbelief in yourself. Get over that like I did and I think you’ll be capable of writing some damm good stories.

If you do intend to write I suggest you use these. They’re what I use whenever I’m writing.

The Erotic Thesaurus. This is basically just a big dictionary for pony related sexual words and phrases. It deals with just about anything you could write into a clop fic, and is good source of things like adjectives or generally describing sex. You said that your writing style tends to be quite bland, this could help spic it up.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1u3IBfEhZphU4uJnxvVnHBXT73CP93dW3J3fSFE_-NXA/

This describes in great detail the sexual anatomy of horses, both mares and stallions. You need to write before you even attempt a clip fic, to familiarise yourself with all the wonderful, wonderful aspects of horse puss.
https://pastebin.com/g4VpEg4f

The last two were essentially just dictionaries and biology text books, this covers how to actually write clop itself. It’s a general guide of the dos and do most of writing a good clop fiction.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/11gS31BQTdzDKDeMXI1-sxTOfCsv44_jDOynNgwhu1gc/mobilebasic#h.p6wqsquuunpr

This is a more general guide to writing a good MLP fan-fiction. You’ll need this considering that your story seems to be mostly adventure based, rather than pure clop.
https://eznguide.neocities.org/
(I should have probably included these in my OP. Sorry.)

>Octavia constantly cheat
As I explained earlier, Octavia is raped once, but other than that she doesn’t cheat on her husband. I might include another rape or forced scene for her, I don’t know, but it certainly won’t be consensual on her part. And while her stallion has far more free will, he also has to keep up appearances, because he knows if he stays loyal to Octavia other stallions will get EXTREMELY suspicious. Stallion in this world fuck as many different kinds of mares as possible, they (with the rare exception being him and a few others) are not loyal, meaning that unfortunately he can’t be either.

This is literally one of, if not the biggest point of contention. He hates himself for cheating on Octavia, and Octavia struggles to deal with the fact that her coltfriend goes off to fuck/rape who knows how many mares every week. It’s a tragic situation that the two completely detest, but have to work with regardless. Her stallion tries his best to stay as loyal as he can, and Octavia tries her best to deal with the trauma of both past and present situation.

Fuck lads, I’m starting to run out of pictures. I’ll have to be more conservative with these things.
Anonymous
2UQgi
?
No.235503
>>235500
(Fuck I forgot to put >>235470 in here >>235500 . Sorry, go to “>Octavia constantly cheat” everything from that point on is my reply to you. Sorry again.)

Anonymous
csxpu
?
No.235514
235541
>>235500
I got stuff to do so here is the short version of my thoughts and you will have to read between the lines to get what I am going for.

1. If there is no hope there is no despair either.
2. I can think up multiple ways to rebel against the society in your story. Why doesn't the mc?
3. You have still not answered why Stallios would share mares with eachother.
4. Just because something can realisticly happened does not make it good art. Blacked.com exist but I do not watch that shit just becuase of that.
5. If you rob your chracters of choice, you really got to know what you are doing. It is hard to write well I think.
6. The third arch of your story shows the most promise. Focus on it.
7. I will probably not give you more advice on this story since I hate porn.
Anonymous
2UQgi
?
No.235541
235550
6DE5CEAE-128C-4F74-B9DB-F45F8D0F6484.jpeg
>>235514
>1.
There is some hope, it’s just that said hope is fragile and easily shattered. The whole second arch is about building up a sense of trust and companionship between the two characters. Between the two main characters. Their obvious hope being that they can be left in peace to pursue an at least somewhat normal relationship with each other. This hope only comes into question when other ponies begin to become suspicious of them, but even then there is still hope, there is hope that they’ll somehow get through it and be able to keep their life within their room intact. It’s not much, but given the world that they live it’s a lot more than can be said of most.

How do the characters not have hope? They don’t have a hope of living a completely normal life, but they can hope to at least have a small pics of that freedom. Keep in mind that this is a tragedy, it isn’t supposed to have “and then they all lived happily ever after” ending, but what they do have while not much, is still far better than where they started of.

>2.
You’ll have to elaborate on this one, because I have no idea what you mean by “mc.” Ponies could rebel in the future, and if you want to imagine them doing so sometime after my story takes place you can. My story is only set in specific time period within this world, and what happens after it is entirely up to you.

>>235514
>3.
First of all, IRL horses are extremely promiscuous, and stallions don’t get too annoyed when another stallion mounts the mare he was just fucking, as long as he had equally free rein to get as much sweet horse pussy as possible.

But in regards of my story, I think you’re misinterpreting it. Some mares are shared between stallions, usually rented out as prostitutes, while other mares are bought. Having sex with another stallions mare is illegal unless you have his permission, and he’s unlikely to give you it unless you give him something else in return. So stallions don’t just fuck each other’s mares at random. There are mares that free from the taking, (assuming you can afford to rent them out.) and then there are mares that are the explicit property of certain stallions.

Octavia gets forcibly raped, under the threat of her stallion being reported to the guard. This is technically illegal, but Octavias coltfriend is hardly going to report it to the guards when he himself is under major suspicion.

>4.
Same here, but for every fetish there are countless men who’ll get horny over it. And nothing in my story is particularly obscure or weird, compared to some other stuff out there.

>5.
They have choice, but every choice they make had consequences. The whole reason that they begin to come under suspicion in later half of my story is because they made bad choices. Sure their options are limited, but they do have fee will, even if that has to be restrained from time to time.

>6.
Thanks, I’ll keep that in mind.

>7.
My story isn’t purely porn, but fair enough. Again, thank you.
Anonymous
wJwGu
?
No.235550
235561
>>235541
I like it. Reminds me of Fahrenheit 451 where social conformity combined with draconian laws make for a dystopian society. In this case, it's less of an intellectual restraint than an emotional one, and unlike other dystopian fiction where the protagonist breaks out of conditioning through introspection here a relationship does the trick. The society seems like a regression into a tribal society before matrimony became widespread, and you may want to evoke other primitivist imagery and tropes.

I can see where people may find it objectionable, though. The external world is basically a BDSM orgy whereas the internal is wholesome and traditional. Someone could interpret it as a reversal of yesterday's world where external society was well-mannered but sexual freakishness existed behind closed doors. It's basically a "trapped in the closet" theme, and it reminds me uncomfortably of that weird ST:TNG episode where a straight woman tried to escape from a planet of lesbians.

>>235500
Checked.
The setting of "horny stallions taking over Equestria" reminds me of De Sade's "120 Days of Sodom." It's practically impossible to get through it but you could read about it and incorporate aspects. This podcast also talked a lot about libertine societies: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xv3VI6oYR-A
Anonymous
2UQgi
?
No.235561
235568
72EF8ADE-750F-4E4D-8BDF-5F810A51C62B.jpeg
>>235550
>unlike other dystopian fiction where the protagonist breaks out of conditioning through introspection here a relationship does the trick.
That’s exactly what I was trying to go for. While they can’t physically break away from, or even change their world, they can find some sense of redemption and sanity in their little corner off it. They’v both been through a lot, and will no doubt have to go through a lot more in the future. And while building a trusting and loving relationship in such a situation may be extremely difficult, especially considering that to at least some extent they are willing participants in most of their actions, even if said horrible acts are necessary, they still remain as loyal as possible to each other, and the hardships they both have to go through only pull them closer together.

Things are extremely brutal, they’ve both made and will continue to make horrible decisions that they’ll likely regret for the rest of their lives, even if said decisions were taken under coercion. The main thing that redeems them is how they view said actions, they unlike most of society know that what they are doing is wrong, and while they don’t have much power, they do everything within their power to at least mitigate the damage somewhat. They have done some terrible things, and equally horrible things have been done them, and it is only their recognition of that, their regret, and their need to redeem it in any small way that they can that makes them redeeming characters, both in each other’s eyes, and in general.

>yesterday's world
Never heard of it. Could you please give me a link.

>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xv3VI6oYR-A [Embed]
>hours long esoteric reactionary YouTube podcasts
Anon, I think you may be my sole mate, no homo. But seriously, I’ll check this out.
Anonymous
wJwGu
?
No.235568
235586
>>235561
>yesterday's world
I meant it almost literally, the dominant culture of the West up to the 1950's. Sexual deviants existed, of course, but you wouldn't know it unless if you knew the deviants yourself. Since then, every perversion under the sun is showing itself and it's quickly becoming the case where traditional relationships are frowned upon. In fact, it's very similar to your story (either intentionally or unintentionally) except instead of pseudo-sharia polygamy is fueled by men and women sleeping with whomever they find most attractive with no real ties, a sort of regression to tribalism.

The more I think of it, the more it feels like a great opportunity for redpills, particularly if there is reminiscence or study of the traditional past. The audience of this work probably would be the kind who enjoy 50 Shades of Grey or The Handmaid's Tale (blegh). I'm curious as to how this wound up happening (perhaps a sex cult a la "Eyes Wide Shut" took power).
Anonymous
2UQgi
?
No.235586
235597
DE623B87-1446-43C3-A384-D45ABA1614DD.png
>>235568
>either intentionally or unintentionally
Unintentionally, although after coming up with the concept I begin to realise that in many ways I’m just writing an extremely hyperbolic parody of the modern world. Maybe my subconscious was pushing me that direction, I don’t know, but that’s a pretty interesting take regardless.

>great opportunity for redpills,
Despite the fact that I’m basically a National Socialist, albeit with certain Libertarian hold backs, being a filthy Anglo and all, I don’t plan to make my story too political. Given my beliefs there’s no doubt that someone could interpret my work as being a bit reactionary, as you have, but that’s going to purely unintentional on my part.

I mean I’m writing what is essentially a BDSM bestiality story based partly on a show made for little girls and fat autistic man children, I’m not exactly a shining example of purity. I’d consider myself more of a Oscar Wild tier degenerate, but a degenerate nonetheless. I.E. I do nofap, but I still write porn stories.

I also highly doubt any of my readers will be as perspective to that kind of stuff as you are. I’d end up making it too subtle and no one would pick up on it, or I’d just scare people away. Regardless, I don’t want to risk the integrity of my story by forcing political narratives into it. Sorry, but you can feel free to take from it what you will.
Anonymous
wJwGu
?
No.235597
235600
>>235586
>I don’t want to risk the integrity of my story by forcing political narratives into it
That is admirable and I wish people thought the same way. It's actually the entire reason why Academic Agent (the host of that livestream I linked) despises novels in comparison to drama, because novels are completely scripted to fit a viewpoint while there is leeway and extra dimension in drama.
Anonymous
2UQgi
?
No.235600
235603
88C31D0E-E7EE-4911-99F1-DA0B2CBB8140.jpeg
>>235597
Yeah, it’s honestly better to keep politics and book completely separate, unless you’re writing something explicitly political. Especially in a story like mine, mixing the two would only corrupt both genres, BDSM porn stories don’t exactly go well with traditionalist literature, ha ha.
Anonymous
wJwGu
?
No.235603
235605
>>235600
Regardless, expect Buttercup Honeydew to write an in-depth analysis of how prevalent themes relate to the condition of white civilization.
Anonymous
2UQgi
?
No.235605
235610 235614
00266D4E-3D8B-47CE-9AF4-EF49036242B7.png
>>235603
>Buttercup Honeydew
Is that your fimfiction name or something?
Anonymous
os4bs
?
No.235606
235623
>>235500
Woah, those links will hell for sure. Also, thanks for the critic on the sketch of my story, so I shall explain the sequel.

The sequels are more of the last caribou learning to be normal even tho he has a demigod inside him.
The first tale would be about him reaching maturity and graduating Twilight's advanced magic school.
Here we see a couple of his aquantainces, and his main rival: Starlight and Sunburst's child.
The offspring is an erudit in knowledge and use of powerful magic, but the caribou didn't stay behind (mainly because his magic is tied with the god's power).
Anyway, a few tests later they are tied, so Twilight decides to put them in a magic duel. The fight goes as normal until they raise the bar in dangerous levels.
The climax will be Sunlight's kid making a horse "expectro patronus", and the caribou literally summoning the elder god.
Ever saw the opening of YuGiOh season 0? In one moment Kaiba pulls out the blue eyes dragon, and Yami pulls Exodia. It would be something like that.
Twilight cuts the duel, and stops the god from taking over. Moments later, Sunlight boy is graduated as a powerful wizard, but Celestia recruits the caribou as a special warlock.
The second tale will be about him stopping remants of the caribou's old empire: ponies trying to rise the patriarchy again.
Along the way, he controls better his powers, and discovers the god actually was a normal caribou who, by never meet the pleasures of flesh and war and death was the only things that surrounded him, cursed himself to punish the world until no one is alive.
The caribou even has a moment where he speaks face to face with him and tells him "I shall attone the sins of our race, wherever you like it or not."
The third tale would be about the caribou seeing his old friends again, accompained with sunlight boy: zebras are kidnapping mares to STRIPPED them; the dragons still have problems between joining or remain separated of the pony empire, and some ponies who were caribou aristocrats are conquering grypphon lands.
He discovers the problems (Zebras are dying and losing fertility, the dragons still are sore about the invasion, and grypphons needed a hero), and solve them thanks to his old and new friends.
But the main highlight is that the elder god shows part of his powers: when the leader/general tries to kill the caribou, he absorbs them, shaping differently (zebra = black stripes, grypphin = wings, dragons = scales a la kirin style).
The third tale would be about New Equestrian Order: a futanari mare discovered caribou dark magic, so shit goes the whitekitten path. The caribou fights her, but she absorbs the caribou's soul. The good caribou sacrifices himself to save the elder god. "Friends protect each other" is his reason.
Anyway, the futa mare goes away thinking she has the most powerful soul on her hands, but she is wrong. The elder god is angry, but now he knows a face to face attack won't work, so he goes to the last people they want to see him: the deer.
This time the prince deer (I don't remember his name) is king now, and agrees to help him. They find the forgotten cave, and discover the old spells the caribou elder used.
Now, with an army of all races (except pony minus one) he attacks Canterlot.
A second fight ensues between the god and the futa mare, but this time he flips things around by recovering his soul, turning into the most powerful being ever: the pure caribou.
He uses a final spell (the hands spell "M-L-P". For easter egg reasons).
He, the dragons, Sunlight boy, the deer, the grypphin, and the zebra use some sort of soul magic and fucking obliterates her.
After everything is done, the sisters recover from the corruption, Sunlight boy destroys the old knowledge, and the caribou becomes a wanderer, leaving Equus at peace.
The epilogue talks about how a secret race that look like deer with antlers appeared in random parts of Equus helping all races around.
"It was our elder's last wish" they say. The royal sisters smile at these stories: the last caribou attoned and saved his race from the god's curse.

The end.
Anonymous
wJwGu
?
No.235610
235623
>>235605
It's the pseudonym of the writer of My Nationalist Pony and a contributor to Counter-Currents. No, I am not him.
Anonymous
wJwGu
?
No.235614
235623
>>235605
I also want to ask: how are children raised? They must not be given much thought to, but procreation would probably happen or everyone dies out in a couple of generations. Considering the orgies I'd imagine there would be a lot of illegitimate foals.
Anonymous
Rn5xa
?
No.235615
How do you publish/sell a redpilled Wannabe-Tom Clancy book?
Anonymous
2UQgi
?
No.235623
DC4EFCD1-4211-4DC5-8B84-0947A2734CE0.jpeg
>>235606
Again, I honestly can’t give you much of a reply because your story doesn’t have any flaws to it, sorry. Although on the bright side it seems like you have everything sorted out, so I’d suggest that you at least try writing the first few paragraphs of your story, after looking through some of the links I sent you.

Use google docs, it’s a easy and safe way to store anything you may be writing. It also highlights things like grammatical errors, so you don’t have to stress too much over them when you back to do some revisions. I personally write everything on my phone because it means I can write wherever I want, as long as I have a few miles of free time. I’d suggest going to a park and writing there for a good hour or two in your free time.

Oh and if you end up writing something or you create a fimfiction account come back to this thread and share it with us.

If your new to writhing fan-fiction I’d also suggest that you start off with a clop fic before moving into any other genre. Clop fics are extremely easy and fun to write, and the premises tend to be pretty simple too. Your story sounds extremely interesting, but it’s going to be quite the undertaking, so I’d suggest that you go for something shorter, just to familiarise yourself with writing fan-fiction.

>>235610
Ok, I’ll check that out later, but it sounds a bit spergy, to be honest.

>>235614
I haven’t thought too much about that because it isn’t really relevant to my story, but if I had to give you an answer I’d say that certain mares are specifically chosen for breeding purposes, usually based on good looks and obedience, and these mares will be paired up with a stallion who has a good position in society or is exceptionally intelligent. These foals would then be raised by said group of mares until they were about 12 or so. I also imagine that many stallions looking to pass on their genes have foals with the various mares they buy and make them raise their foals
sage
3aGQd
?
No.235674
235678
>>235500
Not an answer as that does not solve the problem. You are EXCUSING the cuckoldry, so is this one of your fetishes, or are you honestly a closet cuckold? To be clearn, being cucked once = being cucked one too many times. The "plot" of this breaks down to a disgusting, degenerate mixture of Clockwork Orange, High Society, Animal Farm, 1984, and The Giver tier mindplay shenanigan bullshit.
sage
3aGQd
?
No.235676
235678
>>235500
Nevermind, you ARE a cuckold fetishist since Fall of Equewhatthefuckever started as one of the largest self-insert circle jerks filled with being cucked. Instant -100/100.
Anonymous
2UQgi
?
No.235678
235681
09A9A0FD-10BE-4DFD-A88F-0E31CDD53444.gif
>>235674
>>235676
Don’t you have anything better to do than make fun of random people on the internet for supposedly ”cuck?” Now allow me to safeguard my perfect reputation as Anon 955bd.

It’s literally just one sex scene in a story that I expect will be several hundreds of thousands of words long, but that’s the one thing you focus in on. I’m not a cuck, and I don’t have cuckold fetish. Although regardless of that, this is an extremely important scene in my story because it sets up tension. And as I’ve said before, this is in no way a celebration of cuckoldry, it’s supposed to be tragedy, with the only purpose of it being to move the plot along.
sage
3aGQd
?
No.235681
235689
>>235678
You are acknowledging and defending even ONE use of cuckoldry as a narrative. I am not stating slippery slope, I am stating a writer is biased towards cuckoldry without exact proof otherwise. As for the "why" of this matter, there is no possible use of cuckoldry in a positive manner. That enough for you?
Anonymous
2UQgi
?
No.235689
235691 235693
31983FC2-F897-46A3-A79C-0A4678ED4154.png
>>235681
>there is no possible use of cuckoldry in a positive manner.
What? I just explained that I wasn’t using it in a positive manner.
sage
3aGQd
?
No.235691
235693 235696
>>235689
Yet you are using it full well knowing that cuckoldry especially when used as a literary example is DEGENERATE beyond question.
Anonymous
MpC9T
?
No.235693
>>235689
>>235691
I don't really have a stake in this either way, I'm just going to mention that there has been way more degenerate stuff posted on this site.
Anonymous
wJwGu
?
No.235696
235697 235699
>>235691
Back to England, Puritan!
sage
3aGQd
?
No.235697
702604__safe_artist-colon-adamscage_derpy hooves_twilight sparkle_accomplice_criminal_criminal scum_cute_evil_female_floppy ears_hoof hold_legs in air_.png
>>235696
The britcucks and kikes should be nuked at the same time, thanks.
Anonymous
2UQgi
?
No.235699
192ACE80-4F51-46D3-9789-F24FCB95E308.png
>>235696
We don’t want him back.
Anonymous
2UQgi
?
No.235781
235783
6D745D55-1649-4DDE-85D0-1DD71DE1AC63.png
>>235753
>The thread ended up dying so I finished the on /gtpone/,
Holy shit, I just found two archives of your threads.
https://web.archive.org/web/20190802124253/https://8ch.net/gtpone/res/2050.html

https://web.archive.org/web/20190802124253/https://8ch.net/gtpone/res/2751.html
But seriously now that 8chan is kill someone needs to go back through the old archives and play this https://youtube.com/watch?v=EbZFjpQxIqU song over the highlights, for nostalgias sake.

Also, I’m not really a big fan of green-text stories, I just can’t properly get immersed into them for whatever reason, but I’ll check yours out, on my archive links. It sounds like you’ve tried to do a realistic Anon in Equestria story, based on actual Anons from sites like this one, ha ha.

>Is a threequel even possible now that 8ch is kill?
8chan can still be accessed through the dark-web, although it’s extremely slow. I managed to get on the site itself, but the site kept crashing whenever I tried to access a board. I have a few friends on Discord that say they managed to get the site working, but apparently my computer isn’t powerful enough to handle it. I’m sure if I tried again I could get /pone/ up, but I doubt anyone else would be there and I wouldn’t be surprised if my shot computer took at least 4 attempts to post anything, I.E. I’m too lazy to go through all of that.

Anyway here’s the link, http://oxwugzccvk3dk6tj.onion/index.html Just type that into a Tor browser and it should come up, assuming that your computer is better than mine, or you’re willing to wait 20 minutes just to load up the fucking thing, ha ha. Other than that you probably get away with continuing your story on one of this sites slower boards.

Anyway I’m exhausted. Sorry Anons, I have to go to sleep, I’ll see you guys tomorrow. And I’ll read through some of your green-text when I wake up. Goodnight!
83eoB
?
No.235783
235788 235796 235800
>>235781
I deleted the post myself because I feel like I'm too new here to be making huge paragraphs-long posts like that. It just felt in poor taste. Thanks for the (You) though.
Anonymous
2UQgi
?
No.235788
1603FDCF-F4BB-4C1B-80EF-B2F24A8004DE.png
>>235783
I actually felt really bad for giving you such a small response compared to your behemoth of a post, ha ha. But I’m honestly to exhausted to post much of anything.

Regardless, if you really want to get back on 8chan follow my advice. Anyway, I’m genuinely away to sleep now. Goodnight.
Anonymous
Ifsup
?
No.235796
>>235783
What? No. Those posts are perfect
Anonymous
jJkQU
?
No.235800
>>235783
Holy shit. Some fucking humility and propriety. Dare I say, consideration.
Anon, you have a pass in my book
Anonymous
zv81G
?
No.238232
238240 238680
1557422194095.png
>>235183
I wrote this for an iron author competition at a con and was thinking of expanding it into a larger story. I haven't done anything with it since but seeing this thread made me remember I wrote it, and I was wondering what people think and if it's worth expanding.

The tl;dr is basically that a decade after the events of the show, Twilight's globalist administration has plunged Equestria into chaos post Celestia's retirement, some yet unrevealed thing has happened to Twilight and she's MIA, Starlight Glimmer has taken over and returned to her old ways, and the world is basically in shambles. The story follows the lives of the older characters as they try to find their way in a much less friendly version of the world they know. All I've done so far is this flash fiction piece about Scootaloo and Spike working as bounty hunters that serves as kind of a prologue or chapter 1. I was pretty happy with it but the judges at the con seemed mostly confused, I'm wondering what people here think.

https://www.fimfiction.net/story/440366/1/this-time-equestria/twilight-in-the-pit
Anonymous
sgaZr
?
No.238240
>>238232
The summery is sorta necessary for understanding the fiction. A bit more information can really flesh out the story.

One problem is that how old they are isn't directly stressed so that have led to some confusion. That would be easily fixed with more chapters.

It's an interesting proposition to explore. If you do go forward I'm looking foward to it.
Anonymous
2J+Fx
?
No.238322
238371 238395 238680
This might sound stupid but I saw Digibrony's video on how he wrote a shit Light Novel in a day
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uab8bUbPAPI
And I think I want to try that.
Any tips?
Anonymous
sgaZr
?
No.238371
>>238322
Do it. I think you'll find something interesting if you do.

I recommend listening to the subconscious if you can, but just doing it will tell you more than anything I say right now.
Anonymous
os4bs
?
No.238395
>>238322
Select an idea, can be anything.
Then, sit down in front of your PC and open word or whatever docx program you use.
Third, open your personal playlist, and play everything. You'll be sitting for a while.
After all that, write. Take rests if you reach a block, and keep going when you feel you can.

Just keep doing that until you feel you are comfortable with what you wrote. Good luck!
Anonymous
TPxUt
?
No.238541
238555 238564 238571 238680
TwilightSparkleReclingRealistic.jpg
It's not a terribly creative idea, but "pony on earth" stories have generally been appealing to me. Perhaps it's because they usually feature Twilight Sparkle, who is best suited for strange environments due to her curiosity and knowledge (the rest of the Mane 6 is well-rounded but their aspirations make sense only in Ponyville they are, in a sense, pedestrian). By transplanting a character from an innocent cartoon show into our own universe, it tells us something about the world and our jaded views toward it. In comparison, the excessive number of "Anon in Equestria" stories offer little literary potential outside of comedic spoofs, simply because Ponyville is already idyllic and there's little internal motivation to change. Also, Ponyville is one place but "pony on earth" stories provide for a vastly greater selection of setting.

My idea that is different from most "pony on earth" stories is that rather than be in some part of Americania, it will be in a foreign land, perhaps the Orient, where a white man must also learn to navigate an unfamiliar landscape and culture. While walking along a dark street one night he hears the screeching of tires and a thump, with a car driving off. He goes to investigate and finds an unconscious, bruised alien horse. Quickly our anon finds a box large enough and carries the creature to his apartment. Naturally he is apprehensive about the odd pony and takes DIY xeno-studies precautions as he practices first aid. However, he doesn't want any news getting out due to the local government likely even more amoral in this regard than the American government, not to mention locals who may just try to eat her.

When Twilight groggily wakes up she would, of course, freak out quite a bit and it would take a while for any sort of trust to develop. Twilight would be initially unable to speak English. Rather than go through the convoluted process of "Stardust," I'd have her pick it up quickly due to magic and whatnot. She would have to come to grips with this strange new world and the fact she cannot venture outside the cramped apartment. Our protagonists would be as curious as they are confused and would spend every spare moment sharing information. Commitments would catch up with Anon and he'd need to leave for extended periods of time, but teaching her how to use computers and the internet would take the edge out of boredom.

The fic would be dialogue-driven and would almost exclusively focus on these two characters. Twilight, by learning more about the world develops a deeper appreciation of things she's never realized before and redpills herself and by extension Anon. Their discussions about personal, local and global affairs are meant to be thought-provoking and introspective. Twilight also reads extensively about skills and helps tutor Anon to let him become more successful and a better individual overall. Because of this as well as personality growth they develop a strong and lasting friendship (I don't have plans for love interest except as a spin-off chapter).

However, it eventually becomes apparent that confinement is not healthy NEET-light and he can't keep hiding her forever. They must research ways to get Twilight home without arousing suspicion. This gives me an option to expand into adventure if I feel like it.

I don't know if or when I'll ever get around to writing about ponies, but I enjoy mulling over ideas before setting them to type. Any thoughts?
Anonymous
D9rTS
?
No.238555
238571
>>238541
Sounds amazing, anon. I especially like the idea about the characters getting redpilled through expecience.
I think you should write it down, there is a lot of potential there.
Anonymous
sEMJt
?
No.238564
238571 238604
>>238541
Could be neat. Go for it.

Having a story based on dialoue heavily based on character interaction and dialogue about warying topics could be good.

The problem is your backdrop. You think it is going to provide you natural ways to seamlessly tie in the topics you want from situations in your story.
¨
For example you are going to have something happend and Twilight is going to say,"This sort of thing doesn't happen in Equestria."

The is the way to think so you are on the right track. However, it does not fit for your characters. Twilight's main priority will be to find a way home immediatly. She is pro-active and she has saved Equestria countless of times. She also had all her loved ones in Equestria. She will risk the kebab if she has to.

The only way I see her staying with this guy would be if she really believe that her graetest chance of getting back was with him.

My point is you don't need a backdrop like this for having the dialogue you want in your story just have earth be connected with Equestria through some portal or whatever and have Twilight come as an ambassador and spend her time talking with Anon for whatever reason.

Again good luck.
Anonymous
sgaZr
?
No.238571
238604
>>238541
>>238555
>>238564
Twilight could drag the guy around the world. Getting into wacky hijinks. By wacky hijinks I mean soul crushing truths about the world, and the people within in all it's forms.
So first she heals up enough getting a basic understanding (infodump / reading) of the world. That could then lead to the inciting incident that forces the guy to go on the adventure to help book horse. Perhaps even learning the magic of friendship.

So why bring the guy that is a liability? Burned down the house? Has been publicly seen with purple smart so the best option is to go along? Is secretly wanting to do the horizontal tango with Twilight? Wants to go to Equestria too? No matter the consequences?

If it'd entirely localized inside the house it then becomes a game of keeping nosy people out, and keeping Twilight well socialized without snapping, and possibly daily living.
Anonymous
TPxUt
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No.238604
238613
RealisticTwilightSparkleLyingOnMeadowBlushing.jpeg
>>238564
Thank you for pointing out my character misrepresentation of Twilight. It's proof that I need to watch more of the show and read more fanfics.

>ambassador
The issue I have with this is that she would be always busy on official business and could not spend time with Anon, an everyman. She'd be able to get around a bit more in this setting but not an extreme amount due to security concerns. Also in that sort of setting, unless if contact has been established for years people would be freaking out over the alien ponies. A good writer could definitely make it work but I much prefer a hiding story arc as Twilight could try to make sense of the world without changing it to a large extent.

>>238571
>keeping nosy people out
That's the idea. For example, when room cleaners arrive Twilight has to hide on the balcony. Also a motive for Anon, who is concerned about his own safety as well as Twilight's, is to try to satisfy and soothe her so she doesn't get out into trouble. She would eventually perfect her invisibility/transmogrification magic and try to wander the city without his knowing. She needs him to gather things to experiment on as she looks for a way to get back home, and if they ever venture out together she needs him as a guide. I'm thinking of having a dramatic car chase involving the military.

Are there any other "pony on earth" stories you recommend reading for inspiration?
Anonymous
sgaZr
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No.238613
>>238604
Personally I tend to not like pony on Earth fanfiction.
Contentfag stuff here on /mlpol/ not included. Nothing off of the top of my head. Except the my little Dashie story, and the subset of spin offs...
There is one story about various ponies waking up in bed with Anon, but thats more of a crack fic.
Sorry.
Anonymous
X3GRv
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No.238635
DOTR.jpg
>>238634
was getting caught as a leaf part of you're plan?
Anonymous
euzvz
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No.238680
238722
F5F4C21E-66D2-4B51-9264-CAC196BEB24E.png
2DB05A80-5FE3-422B-A88A-04DAB2451BA3.png
Sorry, I thought this was dead.

>>238232
You have a really interesting premise going for you, and your first chapter is written excellently. I hope you decide to go throughout it.

If you do I’d suggest using google documents before you upload anything to fimfiction. And of course, send the end result here so we Anons can look through your work.

>>238322
>Any tips?
That depends on what you’re going to write. Although I’d suggest checking out all of these links.

The Erotic Thesaurus. This is basically just a big dictionary for pony related sexual words and phrases. It deals with just about anything you could write into a clop fic, and is good source of things like adjectives or generally describing sex. You said that your writing style tends to be quite bland, this could help spic it up.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1u3IBfEhZphU4uJnxvVnHBXT73CP93dW3J3fSFE_-NXA/

This describes in great detail the sexual anatomy of horses, both mares and stallions. You need to write before you even attempt a clip fic, to familiarise yourself with all the wonderful, wonderful aspects of horse puss.
https://pastebin.com/g4VpEg4f

The last two were essentially just dictionaries and biology text books, this covers how to actually write clop itself. It’s a general guide of the dos and do most of writing a good clop fiction.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/11gS31BQTdzDKDeMXI1-sxTOfCsv44_jDOynNgwhu1gc/mobilebasic#h.p6wqsquuunpr

This is a more general guide to writing a good MLP fan-fiction. You’ll need this considering that your story seems to be mostly adventure based, rather than pure clop.
https://eznguide.neocities.org/

>>238541
Sounds really interesting Anon. I’ve read a handful of pony on Earth stories and I’m always extremely disappointed in how generic they turn out to be. Although it sounds like yours actually has the potential of going somewhere. Just remember that if your story is going to be dialogue based that your other main character will have to have a proper personality, and not just be some self insert Anon. So I suggest you plan out what kind of guy your main character is before you start writing.

What kind of new concepts and things about the human world would you introduce to our little book horse?

>>238634
I used to be like you. A miserable cunt that’s scared to do just about anything because he think everything around him is all apart of some big global kike conspiracy. And here I am today, I still believe in all the same shit, and if anything I’m even more paranoid than I ever was before, and yet I waste my life writing about little horses taking up the ass from other little horses. You know why? Because the kiked out hell scape that we live in is too big to escape, there’s no way out so I might as well enjoy myself while I’m inside.

I genuinely think that this society has about 10-15 years tops before it all comes crumbling down from the massive financial debt that every Western nation currently carries. (Along with a thousand other issues) When that happens everything is going to turn into a real coontown from them on out. The economy will completely collapse, all infrastructure including vital things like food, electricity, and transportation will collapse, etc. Literally millions, if not tens of millions will die in my country alone of things like starvation and disease, including me and (you). If society is ever restored back to what it once was and we don’t just completely wipe ourselves off the map the grand facist utopia that I envision will no doubt come about long, long after I’m dead, and that’s assuming the kikes don’t win in the end, or that some retard doesn’t decide to pull out the nukes.

Given these circumstances why the hell wouldn’t I allow myself to dabble into the degenerate arts once and awhile? The world is literally going to end, might as well pull out a good ‘ol can of Boomer.tm and my 4TB flash drive of pony pussy before it all burns.

To paraphrase a quote from the kike Ayn Rand, “if the socialist offers you a pice of cheese, take it!” I.E. If the kikes offer you some free shekels and some sweet, sweet horse pussy, you fucking take it! The whole world is burning around you, and you aren’t going to be able to do shit by pissing on the fire with your micro cock, the flames are too hot and they were lit long before you were ever born. So shut the fuck up, sit on the cough, and come enjoy some pone with us Anons before we’re all engulfed in the flames.
Anonymous
2HX63
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No.238722
>>238680
Yeah, I pity you. It is tough.
Good thing I have God on my side
Anonymous
lG0qF
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No.239495
239498 239500
I've decided to write a light novel in under 24 hours
so 23 hours and 59 minutes
What should I gather in preparation of my marathon writing session?
Anonymous
gXCj6
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No.239498
>>239495
quaff potions of water
eat something so you have enough energy
Gather your thoughts, visualize them, and then bring them to paper
Anonymous
X3GRv
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No.239500
sleeping aussie.jpg
>>239495
a picture of Lauren Faust and you're waifu, fish n' chips and the entire collection of eastenders since october 2010 along with a cup of tea with extra milk
;