Happy 250th Birthday, America!
Today we celebrate the birth of the greatest country in the history of humanity!
Be sure to exercise your American freedom today. Fire some guns, play with explosives, get a little tipsy, rev your engines for no reason at all, set the AC as low as you want, have a cookout with your family and eat more burgers and hotdogs than you can reasonably stomach.
Cheers to 250 more years of freedom and prosperity!