/mlpol/ - My Little Politics

>>349044
Right, maybe I should explain myself better.
Here we write stories based on the premise in the OP.

>>349044
>giving ponies therapey in their dreams.
ok, but I choose to interpret this typo as "giving ponies the rapey in their dreams."

>>349051
Also, this gives me an idea so I'm trademarking it now.

Feel free to dump your pictures of the best princess here for maximum comfyness and mood.

;^P

>>349051
>>349053
The best thing is that nobody will believe me if I told them that I did that intentionally... Wait.

>>349044
>be you
>Chad Thundercock
>relaxing in your private suite
>receive summons from the Princess
"Come to the Royal Chambers at once."
>she must be in the mood for some wakka-chicka wokka-chicka
>you can't say you blame her
>you make your way through the palace
>up the grand staircase
>everything in here is so classy
>marble columns everywhere
>fancy art
>tapestries bigger than your old apartment
>you did alright coming here
>you arrive at the door to the royal apartment
>same guard as usual is standing outside
>a tall, muscular, green pegasus pony wearing Roman armor
>Emerald Musk is his name
>he grins when he sees you
>you grin back
[color #0e9"Oh, hey Chad. You here to see the Princess?"[/color]
>Emerald asks with a sly smile
"You know it, bro!"
>you hold out your fist
>he bumps it with his hoof
>the two of you share a laugh
"Hey bro," Emerald continues. "When you're, uh...finished...you should come by the Rusty Horseshoe. Some of the guards are meeting up down there once our shift is over."
"I'll be there, bro!"
>you bump fist against hoof again
>Emerald Musk steps aside
>you like Emerald Musk
>Emerald Musk is bro-tier
>the gigantic double doors swing inward
>you step inside
>the doors swing shut behind you
>the royal apartment is as royal as ever
>high ceilings
>lots of dark shining columns
>everything is black and purple and dark blue
>moon decor everywhere
>the Princess is kind of a goth chick
>you don't mind though, because dat ass
>you look around
>you don't see her anywhere
>probably still fixing her weird magic hair
>or whatever she does to get ready for you
>you head to the bar and pour yourself a glass of that delicious horse-wine
>yeah, all things considered you did alright
>the moment Kev told you he'd made a portal to Equestria, you knew you'd be getting mad horse poon
>you had no idea how high you could shoot though
>Official Consort to the Moon Princess?
>that's pretty...
>well, that's pretty Chad-tier
>but it has its costs
>she's super old-fashioned
>probably to be expected since she's a thousand years old
>total MILF, you know?
>but still
>no screwing around on the side?
>that isn't Chad's style
>the Princess keeps you busy and all...
>but still
>can't eat the same thing every day, right?
>you plop down on the sofa and sip your wine
>suddenly, the doors to the bedroom swing open
"GREETINGS, MY FAITHFUL CONSORT! THY PRINCESS HAS COME TO REQUEST--"
"Babe, it's just us here. You don't have to talk like that."
>the Princess reddens a little
"*ahem*"
>she clears her throat
"Greetings, my Consort. I have come to request--"
"You can just call me Chad, you know."
"Er, right. Chad, my Consort, I hath come to ask of thee--"
"Oh, come on, babe, can the medieval stuff. We both know what you're here for."
>you down the rest of your wine in one gulp and flash the Princess a lascivious grin
>the Princess reddens further
>she makes an irritated growl and stamps her hoof
"Be not insolent with me, Consort, for I shall not hesitate--"
"Yeah, yeah, I know," you cut in again. "Bang, zoom..."
"STRAIGHT TO THE MOON!!"
>you both say the last part in unison
>Princess Luna can no longer contain herself
>she bursts out laughing
>you smile
>she loves that stupid joke, even though she doesn't understand the reference
>still chuckling, she heads over to the bar and pours herself a glass of wine
>you can't help but eyeball her flank a little while her back is turned
>next time you see Kev, you're really going to have to thank him for getting you into that cartoon
>let alone building a portal and all that
"Bring the bottle, babe," you call out as she pours
>a moment later, she sits down on the plush sofa next to you
>the bottle hovers over your glass and refills it
>Luna's weird magic hair floats gracefully around her face
>you lean in closer, but she pulls away
"What's wrong, babe? Still sore from last time?"
>she reddens slightly again, but doesn't rise to the bait
"No, that's not it. My Cons--er, Chad, there is something I must ask of you."
>you swallow another gulp of wine
"Sounds serious, babe."
"It is a matter of no small importance."
>she takes a graceful sip from her own glass
"As you know, I am the Princess of the Night."
>the Princess rises to her hooves once again and crosses the room
>she stands before the tall glass windows, gazing out over her kingdom
>the moonlight holds her impressive frame in silhouette
>her ethereal mane hangs ghostlike about her, a shimmering specter of starlight
>she looks pretty fucking hot like that, you think
"As part of my royal duties," she continues, "I must oversee the dreams of my subjects. However, as of late, I have grown....weary. I feel..."
>she sighs heavily, and takes a long draught from her class
>she stares mournfully up at the night sky
>total goth chick, you think to yourself
>you still want to bang her, though
"I feel," she continues finally, "As though I must take some time away from my duties. To restore myself, if you will."
>you take another sip of wine
>you've got a pretty good buzz going now
"Is that it, babe? You want to take a vacation?"
>Luna turns away from the window and smiles sheepishly
"Well, yes, I suppose that would be one way to describe it."
>you shrug and down the rest of your glass in one gulp
"So? You're the Princess aren't you? If you want to take a vacation, just take a vacation. Who's going to stop you? Does that other Princess outrank you or something?"
>a look of mild irritation crosses her face

>>349098
"She does not 'outrank' me. As I have explained, my Royal Sister is the Princess of the Sun, while I am the Princess of the Moon..."
>she drones on for awhile, and you start to tune her out
>you never could quite understand this part
>one of these horses is Princess during the day, the other one is Princess at night?
>it doesn't really make a whole lot of sense
>Kev is the one who gets all this stuff
>you were never that interested
>he loaned you his DVDs, but you only ever watched like two episodes
>after that you shut it off and started looking up porn of the characters
>at this point, you're too buzzed to pay much attention to what Luna is saying
>watching her flanks move as she talks, though...
>the goods just barely visible through that weird, half-translucent tail...
>you kind of wish she'd stop talking so the two of you can get down to business
>suddenly, you realize she's looking at you like she expects a response
>you should probably say something
"....uh, yeah, totally babe."
>Luna's eyes light up
>she can barely suppress an excited squeal
"So thou wilt do that for us?"
"Huh?"
"Thou wilt take over my royal duties while I am away?"
"Zuh?"
"Oh, thou hast made me so happy!"
>she trots giddily over to you and gives you a passionate kiss
>holy jeez, that tongue
>Stacy and Becky and all the others are going to be heartbroken
>but they just can't even compete
>you're never going back to human girls again
>before you can respond, she breaks the kiss and gallops to the apartment doors
"I've left a note which will explain thy duties," she calls out. "It's really quite simple. The magic will guide thee to the dreams where thou art needed most. And if thou should run into a particularly difficult nightmare...well, hopefully you won't run into any difficult nightmares. Farewell, my Consort!!"
>without another word, the doors swing open and she gallops through the portal
>you are left sitting speechless on the couch
>Emerald Musk slowly pokes his head into the opening
"Uh...bro?" he says hesitantly
"Yeah?"
"You, uh, still coming to the Horseshoe tonight?"
>you raise your glass to your lips
>then you remember that it is empty
>you stare at it for a moment, then set it down
"Uh, sorry bro. I guess there's something else I have to do tonight."
...
....
......

>>349099
......
....
...
>you stare at the note on the table
>you're still a little buzzed, and you struggle to make out the words on the parchment
>as fancy as she usually talks, Luna has just barely learned to read and write English
>you were never that good at it yourself, of course
>in HS you passed most of your English classes automatically because of Football
>the rest of the time you could usually convince the teacher to let you slide with a D
>if you were...you know...willing to grant her the same favor
>but this?
>seriously, you can't make hide nor hair of this
>it looks like a little kid wrote it
>you pour yourself another glass of horse-wine
>if you're not getting any mare-pussy tonight you might as well get krunk
>for the third time, you read over Luna's clumsily scribbled block letters:

LOONAZ ROYL DOOTYS:

1. GO INTOO DREMZ
2. FITE NITEMARZ
3. GIV PONYZ THERAPEY

>Kev explained all of this once
>the stuff with the languages
>magic in Equestria makes it so that humans and ponies can understand each other when they speak
>even though they're actually speaking different languages
>but for some reason it doesn't work on anything written
>so books in horse-land all look like gibberish to you
>it was sweet of Luna to try and learn how to write English just for your sake...
>but it probably would have been easier for her to just explain this shit verbally before she left
>seriously, what does this say?
>you try to read it out loud
"Number one."
>your voice echoes mournfully in the huge empty bedchamber
>between the wine and the rager Luna left you with, you're finding it hard to concentrate
>"Go...into...dreams."
>go into dreams
>that makes sense enough
>you already more or less knew the job was going to involve something like that
>maybe this won't be so hard after all
>you've seen Nightmare on Elm Street, right?
>number two looks like something you can pretty much ignore
>fight night on Mars?
>sounds pretty dope actually, but you doubt it's going to apply
>alright, skip that one
>so what about number three?
"Give...ponies....wait, what?"
>you look at the last word
>is that one word or two?
"Give...ponies...ther..."
"Give ponies the rapey?"
>you continue to stare
>is this note telling you to do what it sounds like it's telling you to do?
>two miniature Chads appear on each of your shoulders
"Bro!" says the Chad with devil horns. "She's giving you the green light, bro! Do it!"
>the Chad with angel wings and a halo interjects:
"Come on, Bro!" he says. "What about Luna's rule? You can't fool around with other ponies while she's on vacation, bro, that's not cool!"
"Bro!" Devil-Chad butts in. "Are you retarded or what? Page 41 of the Bro Code, paragraph 5 § 3: if it happens in a dream or another dimension, it's not cheating."
>Angel-Chad scratches his head
>he looks befuddled
"Yeah, bro, but..."
"But what, you faggot?" says Devil-Chad. He turns to you. "Look bro: here's the way I see it. One, your girl is giving you the ok on this. Two, it's in a dream so it doesn't count anyway. Three, you've got it all in writing if she ever changes her mind. Finally, four: if you don't do this, everyone is going to think you're a total fag."
>you turn to Angel-Chad for confirmation
>he hesitates, and then reluctantly nods
"Yeah, bro," he says. "I think I'm gonna have to concur with Devil-Chad on this one. If you don't do this, you're a total fag."
>well, that settles it
>the last thing you'd ever want is to be a total fag
>besides, isn't this what you've been wanting ever since you came to Equestria?
>Luna's hot and all, but some of the other ponies around here, sweet merciful muffins
>that Lyra looks like she gets into some pretty freaky shit
>and the other night there was that high-society pone you were introduced to
>Fleur-de-Lis or something
>that's the kind of horse-poon you cut out and paste in your scrapbook
>even that little weirdo that's always hanging out in the library
>Moondancer
>total nerd-skootch
>a lot of your bros back home wouldn't touch her
>but that's their loss
>you can tell just from looking at her that she would totally go all night long
>and you don't even want to get started about Luna's older sister....
>you take another sip of wine
>at this point it's all going straight into your rager
>the more you think about it, the more sense it makes
>Luna's going on vacation, right?
>she's going to be gone for a few nights at least
>she probably just wants you to be able to have some fun while she's gone
>it's pretty considerate, really
>there are definitely some perks to your girlfriend being the horse-Princess of dreams
>you down the last of your wine in a big gulp
>you're feeling good and buzzed
>yeah, that settles it
>time to give Equestria's sleeping mares a little of the ol' dream rapey
>you turn your attention to the object sitting next to Luna's note
>it's some kind of magic amulet
>you look around to see if she left any instructions, but suddenly you feel a weird power emanating from the amulet
>it feels as though if you just put it on, somehow you'll just know what to do
>you pick up the amulet and pull the chain over your head
>the world around you begins to shimmer and lose its form...
...
....
......

And, that's it for now. I will write some more of this later.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HKEK70kz11I

>>349098
I like how you wrote Luna's voice, it sounds like her.
>>349100
<If you don't do this, you're a total fag."
<>well, that settles it
Kinda funny how this tough guy cares so much about what others think of him.
>LOONAZ ROYL DOOTYS:

>1. GO INTOO DREMZ
>2. FITE NITEMARZ
>3. GIV PONYZ THERAPEY
Pretty funny.

I forgot to save my tripcode on this computer, but it's me

>>349100
>you awaken in a mist-shrouded realm
>the ground beneath your feet is solid, but there are no visible objects with which to orient yourself
>only a faint pinkish mist extending in every direction
>the amulet around your neck informs you that you are in the Realm of Dreams
>it does not speak, but when you think of a question it immediately plants the answer in your mind
>what was it Luna said to do in here?
>let the magic guide you to the dreams where you are needed most?
>you figure you can work with that
>no sooner has the thought crossed your mind than the mist around you begins to change shape
>you are now standing on a hilly landscape in broad afternoon
>a forest of apple trees stretches out in every direction all around you
>I wonder whose dream I've entered?
>you think this ironically, since you know of only one pony who would be obsessed enough with apple trees to dream about them
>you forget her name, though
>Kev would know it
>it has something to do with apples
>it's also the name of a cereal
>Sugar Crisp?
>Golden Grahams?
>something like that
>anyway, the amulet informs you that you have the power to rebuild the landscape around you as you see fit
>alright then, let's set a more appropriate scene
>the world instantly transforms to accommodate your lecherous whims
>you are now standing inside a magnificently appointed bedchamber
>a perfect environment for some wakka-chicka wokka-chicka
>you gave it kind of an upscale-cowboy theme just to get her in the mood
>she likes cowboy stuff, right?
>you're pretty sure it's the apple-horse who likes cowboy stuff
>now where is the lucky contestant?
>you can hear hoofsteps outside
>slowly, the door cracks open
>here she comes
>you lie down on the bed
>on impulse, you use the amulet to switch your costume
>you are now wearing skintight Wrangler jeans, a cowboy hat, and no shirt
>there is a rose gripped between your teeth
>if this doesn't get her pony-motor running, nothing will
>the door swings open, and a pony trots inside
>she stares at you, a surprised look on her face
>Applejack is...smaller than you remembered
>that's right, Applejack is her name, you just now remembered that
>also
>crap
>it's not Applejack
>it's her little sister
>you don't know her name, but you know you've seen her around
"Uhhh.......Mr. Chad?"
>the little filly is staring at you
"Uh, hey there..."
>your speech comes out garbled since you have a rose in your teeth
>you spit it out and it disappears
>the little filly continues to stare
>suddenly, you remember her name
"....Apple Bloom."
>an uncomfortable silence settles on the room
>Apple Bloom clears her throat
"So, uh....how come yer dressed like that?"
"Oh, uh....well, I guess I was expecting someone else."
"Oh."
>suddenly, a look of comprehension crosses her face
"Wait a second! Am ah dreamin'?"
"...yeah."
[color #f36]"So where's Princess Luna?"
"Oh, I'm...uh...filling in for her tonight."
"Oh."
>she raises an eyebrow
"So are you gonna listen to mah problems, or are we just gonna goof around all night?"
"Uh, yeah. Hold on just a second."
>you let the amulet select a more appropriate setting for the dream
>
>...
>
"...so that's how me an' the girls got our cutie marks."
>the dream-stage now resembles a psychiatrist's office
>Apple Bloom is lying on her back on a large sofa
>you are sitting on an armchair nearby, trying not to look bored
>you glance at the clock on the wall
>time is meaningless in this realm, the amulet informs you, but still
>how long is this kid going to babble?
>you came to the dream realm to slay pony poon, and this foal is eating up your valuable time
"Hey! Are you even listenin' to me?
>you glance up from your clipboard
>the filly is glaring at you
"What? Yeah, I'm listening. You were talking about how you and your friends all got your little butt pictures."
"They're called cutie marks!"
"Right, cutie marks."
"Right."
>awkward silence
"So...?"
"...so what?"
"So what do you think ah should do?"
"What do you mean? I thought getting your cutie mark was the whole point of that club you started."
"But that's just it! Ah spent all that time tryin' to git a cutie mark! It became sort of mah...mah..."
>she trails off, twirling her front hoof slowly as she tries to think of the right word
>you glance at the clock again
"Oh, what's that word? Sweetie Belle's sister had a real fancy word for it. Raisin Debra? Somethin' like that?"
"Raison d'etre?"
"Yeah, that! Boy, yer pretty smart, Mr. Chad! Where'd you learn somethin' like that?"
"Huh? Oh, well, I banged my French teacher one year, and it must have rubbed off on me."
>shit
>you hadn't meant to say that out loud
>the dream realm is a little tricky about things like that
"You banged into yer teacher?"
>the filly is staring at you with a concerned expression
"Was it an accident?"
>oh good, she has no idea what you're talking about
"Uh, sort of. Things like that just kind of happen to me sometimes if I'm not careful."
>that part's true enough
"Gosh. Ah hope she wasn't too mad at ya. Did she get hurt?"
>you bite your lip to stifle a laugh
"Yeah, she was a little sore afterward."
"Ah bet she was. If ah ever banged Miss Cheerilee ah bet she'd be awful sore."
>you bite down on your lip even harder
>a snort escapes through your nose
>the filly glances at you with a puzzled expression
>you clear your throat

>>349182

"Uh, so anyway, about your cutie mark..."
"Oh, right. Well, it's like this: ah spent so much time tryin' to get mah cutie mark, it became sorta mah 'ray-zon dettra.'"
>she puffs out her chest a little as she says the last bit
"But now that ah have mah cutie mark, it's like ah'm missin' out on the fun of tryin', ya know? Like, me and the girls, we did all kinds of fun stuff to try and find out what our special talents were, but in the end, none o'those things became our cutie marks! Don't get me wrong, ah like havin' mah cutie mark an' all, but it's like, now we spend all our time helpin' other ponies, and sometimes ah just want us to go off and have fun adventures like we used to!"
>Bloom's hoof gestures become more animated as she speaks
"...because it's like, we put all that time and effort inta learnin' botany, an' singin', an' costume design, and all this other stuff, and it's like none of it even mattered! We all just wound up gettin' the exact same cutie mark! Ah mean, how does somethin' like that even happen? An' ah mean, ah really am happy to finally have mah mark, but...gettin' a cutie mark in findin' cutie marks? It feels like kind of a lame payoff after all that hard work--
>you decide to cut in before she starts hyperventilating
"Look kid, you need to relax. I think you're putting way too much importance on these butt pic--er, cutie marks."
>the yellow filly gives you a sour look
"Easy fer you to say. Yer a human, y'all don't even have cutie marks."
"Well, that's kind of my point."
>you mentally run through your life's expereinces, trying to find something more or less G-rated that could help this kid
>you clear your throat
"Well, it's like this: we don't have cutie marks where I come from, but we do have this thing called the career aptitude test. I took this test in high school, and it basically told me I was too stupid to do much of anything. My guidance counselor said I should just join the army and hope for a war to start. But I got into college anyway on a football scholarship, plus I was banging the counselor's wife that summer so the joke was pretty much on him."
"Gosh, you shore do seem to bang into an awful lot of people, Mr. Chad! You should try to be a little less clumsy."
"Yeah, I know; it's a real problem for me. So anyway, I got into college on a basketball scholarship--"
"Basketball? Ah thought you said it was a football scholarship?"
"Huh? Oh, well, actually I qualified for both scholarships. It didn't really matter, though, because I decided not to go. See, my Dad, he owns this dealership, and I'm probably just going to work there, and then eventually I'll inherit it. See what I'm saying?"
>Apple Bloom stares blankly at you
"Uhhh....no."
>you furrow your brow in concentration
>psychiatry is harder than it looks
"Well...you see, think about it this way. I have this friend named Kev. Real smart guy, probably the smartest guy I know. When he took that same aptitude test, it told him that he was going to be some kind of genius computer programmer. The guidance counselor told him he should apply to MIT."
"What's 'ehm ah tee?'"
"It's like Princess Celestia's magic school. So anyway, Kev applied to that school, but they wouldn't let him in because they said they already had enough white guys. So, he wound up going to some state school. Then, he tried to get a job as a freelance programmer to help pay his tuition, but nobody would hire him. You see what I'm getting at?"
"Uh, nope. Sorry."
"See, my friend Kev, who's like this super genius, took this test, and it told him he was going to do all these great things with his life. I took the same test, and it told me I was basically retarded. But Kev wound up working at Arby's, while I just got laid all summer and helped out at my Dad's dealership a little. Then, Kev figured out how to create some kind of quantum disruption field in his basement, and opened up a portal to Equestria."
"Is that how y'all got here?"
"Yeah. We both came through the portal. I wound up as Princess Luna's personal consort--"
"What exactly do you do for Princess Luna anyway, Mr. Chad?"
"Huh? Oh, I uh...I read her bedtime stories. It's not important. Anyway, I wound up as Princess Luna's consort, while Kev...actually, I'm not sure what Kev is doing these days. Does he still live in Ponyville?"
>Apple Bloom looks uncomfortable
"Uh, he does, but...well, the mayor had to pass some kinda law to keep him from hasslin' the mares. And Miss Cheerilee says he's not allowed on school grounds anymore. She told us to come get her if he tries to talk to any of us."
"Oh. Well, anyway, do you get what I'm saying now, kid? You really shouldn't worry too much about all this stuff about cutie marks and destiny and whatever. If you want to go on adventures with your friends, just do it. Is there a law saying that just because your cutie mark isn't in hang gliding or whatever, that you can't go hang gliding?"
>Apple Bloom shakes her head
"Well, there you go. Just do whatever you want, kid; stuff usually just works itself out. That's how it works for me, anyway."

>>349183

>Apple Bloom thinks about it for a second, and then her expression brightens
"You know what? That actually does kinda help!
>she jumps off the psychiatrist's couch
"Thanks, Mr. Chad! Ah feel a whole lot better now!"
>she trots towards the door
"Oh, and don't forget to tell yer teacher yer sorry for bangin' inta her!"
>you stifle a laugh
"Sure, no problem kid. Happy I could help."
"See you later, Mr. Chad!"
"See you later, Apple Bloom!"
>she trots out the door
>the world dissolves into mist
...
....
......

To be continued.

>>349184
Please continue, this is good stuff.

>>349184
......
....
...
>once again, you find yourself in a mist-shrouded realm
>you wonder how much of the night you wasted listening to that annoying little hillbilly foal
>the amulet reminds you that time has no significance in this realm
>it also reminds you that helping ponies with their problems is what you are supposed to be here for
>annoyed, you remind the medallion that the night is finite and eventually the hot mares are going to start waking up
>you also remind it that you still have a rager that you could go jousting with
>instead of responding, the amulet begins to pull you in another direction
>hopefully in the direction of a hot-plot mare in need of some wakka-chicka wokka-chicka, you think
>the mist around you shifts
>tangible forms begin to take shape
>you are now in some kind of a sitting-room
>a large sofa, a couple of chairs, a table in the center
>there are no walls, the space beyond the sitting area just sort of fades into blackness
>you can hear clip-clopping hooves in the distance
>a female-sounding voice is muttering to itself as the hooves draw nearer
>jackpot
>you assume a seductive yet casual pose on the sofa
>the hoofsteps and the muttering are closer now
>a dim silhouette appears
>which lucky mare will be picked to join your harem?
>it looks like the winner is--
"Oh, God damn it, not again!"
>the little foal stops short, alarmed by your outburst
"I-I'm thorry! Did I do thomething wrong?"
>you don't recognize the filly standing in front of you
>and you're pretty sure you wouldn't forget someone like this if you'd seen her before
>unkempt, curly mane, colored fire-engine red
>giant nerd glasses
>a voice that makes you wish you had a blunt object to strike her with every time she opens her mouth
>if Lucille Ball had an ugly Jewish cousin who was also a pony, she would probably look a lot like this poor demented little creature
>who bothered to spawn this thing, and why?
"Umm..."
>she begins speaking, looking at you a little shyly
"I don't think I've theen you before. Are you Mithter Chad?"
>you take a deep breath and try to control your temper
>it's not this kid's fault the amulet keeps cockblocking you, you remind yourself
"Yeah," you reply. "I'm Chad. I'm, uh, filling in for Princess Luna tonight."
>her expression immediately brightens
"Oh wow! That'th tho cool! I've heard there wuth a human living in Canterlot, but I didn't think I'd ackshually get to meet him!"
>she starts immediately losing her spaghetti
>it's like meeting you in a dream is literally the best thing that's happened to her all year
>you actually kind of feel sorry for her
>or at least you would feel sorry if literally everything about this horse didn't give you the uncontrollable urge to dropkick her into an oven
>finally you cut her off
"So, uh, did you have anything you wanted to talk to me about?"
>the little horse blinks as if she'd forgotten why she had even come here
"Oh yeah, that'th right."
>she looks up at you shyly
"Usually Printheth Luna helpth me with thith thtuff."
>seriously
>right into the goddamn oven
>you shake this thought out of your head
"Well, like I said, Luna's busy tonight. If you'd like to hold off and come back tomorrow night..."
>she shakes her head
"No, that'th okay. Uh...do you mind if I thit on your lap?"
>you sigh internally
"That's fine, kid. Go right ahead."
>she looks up at you like you just told her tonight's winning lottery numbers
>she springs up into your lap
>Jesus Christ, she's even more repugnant up close
>her breath smells like she eats kitty litter
>seriously, is that peppermint cutie mark supposed to be ironic or what?
>you force a pleasant smile
>the sooner you get through this, the sooner you can move on to the dreams where you get laid, you tell yourself
"Alright, then, what's on your mind, uh...."
>you trail off when you realize you don't know this filly's name
"Twitht," she says
"Right. Twist. What's on your mind, kid?"
>the filly looks away, a little embarrassed
"Well, latht night I wath talking to Printheth Luna about my bedwetting problem....."
"You have a bedwetting problem?"
>she reddens visibly
".........yeah."
"Oh. Well, in that case, I think I'd rather have you sit over there."
>the little filly looks disappointed, but she obediently jumps off of your lap and trots to the other end of the sofa
"Anyway, apart from the bedwetting, what else is bothering you?"
"Well......"
>the filly stares forlornly off into the distance, gathering her thoughts
"It'th like thith...I youtht to hafth thith friend, right? Her name wath Apple Bloom...."
>the filly drones on and on
>the spray coming out of her mouth every time she lisps feels like a cool ocean breeze
>seriously, if you shut your eyes and try to tune out the sound of her voice, you can almost imagine you're spending a day at the beach
"Uhhh, Mithter Chad? Why are we at the beach all of a thudden?"
>you open your eyes, and immediately realize that the amulet has responded to your thoughts again
"Uh, sorry."
>you change the scenery from the beach scene back to the sitting room
>you also make a mental note not to think too hard about kicking poor little Twist into an oven
>no matter how much you might like to actually do it, it's probably the kind of amulet-misuse that Luna would frown upon
"Anyway, go on."
"Well, uh, it'th like I wuth thaying......"
>she starts droning on again
>the ocean-spray resumes...

I'll make a second thread soon. I just haven't had the energy after comming home on the evenings to do anything.

The writing here so far is fucking brilliant.